May 16th, 2011

Crick is On the Case…

Guido goes to pixel breaking it at 13.52 and 7 minutes later Michael Crick reveals:

You snooze, you lose…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Andy Peirce mk2?

    • 14
      Frank says:

      To be Frank. It is a complete mystery why not one journalist or blogger took the trouble to google vicky pryce 12 march 2003 until this afternoon. She has been saying for days now that she was attending a high profile conference at the time of the speeding offence.

      By the way the Huhnes are on the electoral roll in London for 2003 so she would have had no need to drive thru Essex to get to her job or the LSE unlike her MSP husband returning from Brussels

      • 19
        Frank says:

        Sorry should be MEP

        • 49
          Frank says:

          They lived in London SW4 so no need for Vicky Price go via Essex to get to her job at the DTI or LSE conference.

          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            I hear that essex is very beautiful in March.

            At night.

          • Realist says:

            Who wouldn’t break the speed limit if a couple of lezzers invited them round for a bit of 3-in-a-bed?

          • Cla'ham says:

            If Huhne was driving back from Brussels, then he wouldn’t have crossed the river into Essex to get to Clapham.

          • Chris Hulne says:

            @Realist, ah so ordinarily true but these aren’t normal lezzers, these are Lib Dem lezzers. Think matted pubes, think months of rancid tampons bunged up there, tag nuts dangling, moustaches, warts, oozing sores and gammy teeth. Anywho, enjoy your tea…..

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            Yes Lib Dem lezzers are pretty nasty but imagine what Labour ones are like.

    • 15
      Bowden is a tosser says:

      Why do you bother – please fuck off you tosser and learn how to spell

      • 35
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Is it up to you what and who makes comments on this site?

      • 38
        Leave Billy Alone says:

        Billy is (and possibly is in) an institution

        So leave da bra alone innit

      • 86
        Scallywag says:

        No need. The concept of the spellcheck O’s alive and well, especially if you turn it on…

        • 88
          AC1 says:

          It’s built into Fire-fox, well the British English Dictionary is a built in add-on…

          You might also want to download 4d-Bl0ck to get rid of the p0p-ups.

    • 16
      Oi!! says:

      CRICK….as is the convention on here it is polite to HT (hat tip ) the originator. Manners!!

      • 80
        Logan says:

        At least a commentator by the name of purpleDogzz nailed him in comment #1 on crick’s own blog! Nice one!

    • 137
      Anonymous says:

      A Conservative peer accused of fiddling his parliamentary expenses claimed for accommodation when he had in fact been on a plane to India, a court has heard.

      Lord Hanningfield, 70, is appearing before Chelmsford Crown Court accused of six charges of false accounting between March 2006 and May 2009.

      Prosecutor Clare Montgomery QC accused him of claiming for hotels in London when he had returned to his Essex home.

      Lord Hanningfield, appearing under his name Paul White, denies the charges.

  2. 2
    Darrul Hare says:

    Your mum

  3. 3
    Mishcon De Reya says:

    We await your instructions,Guido !

  4. 4
    not a gweedo windowlicker says:

    7 minutes? You twat!

  5. 5
    Haha says:

    Go to Jail go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go do not collect £200.

  6. 6
    Billy Bowdens surviving testacle says:

    How does Billy get in so fast to be No 1 EVERYTIME ? It’s NOT fair !

  7. 7
    Hugh Janus says:

    A mere coincidence of course…

  8. 8
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    what gets my goat is that the taxpayer pays for him to tweet and be a lazy fucker bumming rent boys and doing a Tom Baldwin, At least with the bloke from the Mail most of the country dont have to buy the paper.

    This just shows the media bias in protecting “Thier” freinds, I dont care that the Guardian or Mail does it but for the BBC to so baised and lazy (while being on fat wages) is a pisstake to millions forced to pay the telly tax.

    You can choose to buy the guardian and the like but most people are bullied into paying for a left wing drug infested propeganda channel.

    • 12
      Hugh Janus says:

      Not a supporter of the Beeb then Billy??

      • 21
        Bowden is a tosser says:

        I somehow doubt he earns enough to pay tax

        • 95
          The Paragnostic says:

          Oh, do fuck off – Billy’s at least entertaining unlike you miserable Jock c’unts.

          • look in the mirror! says:

            I say, that’s a bit rich coming from someone who is a c’unt and deeply unentertaining.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            @ Look in the mirror

            Ball hit helmit , 5 penatly runs added.

          • The Paragnostic says:

            It’s taken me years to become this much of a c’unt – before I hit pension age I hope to manage Scottish levels of c’untishness.

            I have yet to see an entertaining post by any of your lot – you’re all too busy taking offence.

          • Anonymous says:

            Is your family (partner and kid(s)) on dole?

    • 63
      Sir William Waad says:

      To be fair, Time Team isn’t bad some weeks.

      Hang on, though, isn’t that Channel 4?

      Then there’s Marcus Brigscock. What a giant of comedy!

      • 84
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        I saw an episode where they didnt find anything.
        I felt a sense of achievement at the end of it for having made it all the way to the end.

        • 101
          The Paragnostic says:

          I’m a great fan of the geophysics – the skill with which they discern roman villas from a random sea of pixels is truly inspiring.

          Why they bother with it is sometimes beyond me, unless they think that watching a student walking behind an expensively instrumented zimmer frame is good TV?

          • vote no to av,vote no to sandal wearers says:

            Carrine the old blond bint has better tits than charlie dimmock,its top tv man,sod the fossils and relics!

          • Payback Time Team says:

            I hear there is an episode in production in which the Team unearth Tony Blairs expense claims.

          • BagPus says:

            Yes, vintage Carrine was the reason I wouldn’t miss a week. Very well stacked.

      • 98
        Two Trowels Jim says:

        It needs Carenza back. I would.

    • 70
      Alexsandr says:

      i am fed up with BEEB giving arsebook and twatter product placement all over their programs.

      Hope they are paying Beeb a big fat fee…..

      • 89
        AC1 says:

        I think the deal will involve gifts for “key” bribed members of staff.

        Remember AlBBC is extortion funded so it’s run for the benefit of the staff, not the people who fund it.

  9. 11
    Rat's arse says:

    He’s quick off the mark that Crick person. He’s not bugged your ‘phone/looked over your shoulder/hidden in your lavvy has he? I’d check if I was you Guido.

    • 18
      genghiz the kahn says:

      Funny how Crick is quick on the mark on this case, yet couldn’t mention that Woolas was an old mate and former Newsnight researcher.

      But he could just do an Andrew Marr and just skim over the newspaper reviews ignoring inconvenient stories on the front pages, the back pages and all over half the tabloids in favour of churning out stories verbatim from the Guardian, Unite, and UKuncut.

      • 23
        boulay says:

        i nearly threw the tv out of the window yesterday morning during marr’s paper review when hoggart, marr and toksvig were banging on about city people earning too much, funnily enough marr’s 600k a year was not deemed excessive by his lefty chums……

        • 30
          Cato Street Conspirator says:

          Is that the Oksvig whose every other sentence is ‘I’m a lesbian you know. Did you know I’m a lesbian’?

          • No. 73, Maidstone says:

            Yes, that’s the one. Like Joe Brand, Marcus whatsit, and all the rest of them, she’s got a permanent, job for life within media-land.

          • giraffe says:

            She’s got a neck on her saying that

          • Flash GATSO says:

            Sadly, no legs…

          • Woodward and Bernstein says:

            Newspaper reviews on the television are seldom reviews of a range of stories in newspapers.
            They are nearly always an excuse for some half-wit to give their unwanted and biased opinion on Government policy. If I wanted to be exposed to that kind of lazy “journalism”, I’d read the Guardian.

          • Strewth! says:

            Read the Guardian!!???!?

            Steady on old chap

          • Robo says:

            Yep, one with 3 kids, I gather.

    • 22
      I says:

      Not Crick one of his unpaid interns

  10. 13
    Anonymous says:

    All that’s missing are the words “by reading” between “discovered” and “that”…

    • 58
      Bled White Taxpayer says:

      Talking of words,

      Anagrams for “Chris Huhne”:

      Enrich Hush
Nicer Shh Uh
Inch Hers Uh
      Chins Her Uh

      Rich En Hush

      Anagrams for “Lib Dem Losers”:

      Bolder Slime
      Libeler Mods
      Bed More Ills
      Libeled Ms Or

      And just in case he has to spend some time in jail:

      Bled Ole Rims
      Bled Lose Rim

      • 164
        The Paragnostic says:

        If you use Christopher, rather than Chris – you can see how he aims to win any legal battle –

        “Christopher Huhne” = “Hope c’unt hires HRH”.

  11. 20
  12. 24
    Ali Dizaei says:

    If Mr Crick is reading this, I’ll be in the Kofta King Kebab House in Edgware Rd later, available for intervews.Don’t leave it too late,as I plan to be shitfaced innit by 8 o’clock,and then we get da ladies to do some jiggy jiggy.

    • 100
      MrAngry61 says:

      You may be out, but In šāʾ Allāh you’ll never be reinstated as a policeman again.

  13. 25
    Getting worse for Huhne says:

    Crick has added to the story – he says he has spoken to one of the organisers who confirmed Pryce actually attended at the LSE conference that night.

    Crick then says: “In itself, this fact proves nothing, but it makes it pretty unlikely that Vicky Pryce could have been driving in Essex beween 6pm and 8pm that evening”. But he doesn’t explain what evidence there is that someone received speeding points for an offence committed between 6pm and 8pm that day. Where does he get this from? If there are records showing Pryce as having received points for a supposed speeding offence at that date/time, then it’s game over for Huhne.

    Crick’s comment suggests he has such evidence. Why is he not trumpeting it more?

    • 27
      Anonymous says:

      No he’s not if you read the whole piece all he is saying is that between 6pm and 8pm on that day she could not have been driving through Essex.

      • 64
        genghiz the kahn says:

        Look at another way, how long would it take to drive from the LSE to the A12 and onwards.

        Could the car have been logged for a congestion charge payment at some point?

    • 74
      Alexsandr says:

      scoop on newshite tonight?

  14. 28
    ichabod says:

    The other scandal (the one with SEX in it); would it be possible for a man to force a woman to perform fellatio on him without, say, a knife in his hands.?

  15. 29
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Not so slick Crick.

  16. 31
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I think he should get a shotgun up the arse as punishment.

    • 47
      MrAngry61 says:

      He’s a fucking plaigarising mutherf*cker.

      Burn him. And all of the other BBC plaigarists and pinkos.

    • 56
      A good idea, but there's one small flaw. says:

      You do know what would happen if you pulled the trigger?

  17. 34

    Newsnight are avoiding your scoop by leading with Kelvin Mckenzie’s emails.

    Ah well. One rule for us, one rule for a media empire in receipt of a guaranteed minimum £3.6 billion a year.

  18. 40
    The Pedant says:

    I suppose the really sad thing is how we all want him to be sent done…
    Wonder if he’s reading this…

  19. 42
    Reggie Bosanquet says:

    That Crick is right knob and should grow up and learn some respect , right , whose round is it ?

  20. 44
    James Gordon Brown, Intellectual Colossus, Economic Giant, Brick Dust Coated Tennants Can Trader says:

    It’s not cricket !

    • 185
      Rufus T. Firefly says:

      You know even less about cricket than you know about economics you cretin.

  21. 45
    Chris Huhne says:

    I’ve just thought of a wizard new TV panel game

    “The Pryce Is Right”

    OK Ok I’ll get my coat

  22. 53
    EC1 PhD says:

    Anyone who Googled “Vicky Pryce LSE 12 March 2003″ anytime after 26 November 2008 (when the page was last updated) would have seen on Danny Quah’s website all the evidence you need to bring down that Huhne the Huhne.

  23. 59
    Sir William Waad says:

    Guido, you should try making a deliberate, unimportant error in each posting so that you can see who is copying it.

    • 66
      Engineer says:

      Like a spelling mistake, you mean? He already does that…

      The post of sub-editor etc. etc…

    • 68
      Michael Crick says:

      Guido, you should try making a deliberate, unimportant error in each posting so that you can see who is copying it.

    • 96

      This method could become known as Billy Bowden’s secret.

      • 116
        MrAngry61 says:

        Frank Muir pioneered it with his various books of lists, which were widely plaigarised by competitors. He looked for the ‘hooks’ (minor errors, eg mistranslations) that he’d inserted (sometimes inadvertantly) and sued whenever they appeared in other similar books.

  24. 67
    bloke in spain says:

    Can’t say I’m much in favour of speed cameras but I do feel that this particular example of the device should be preserved for posterity; maybe with a small commemorative plaque or even simple memorial with wording along the lines of: “Here lies buried the political career of a self serving non-entity.”

    Flowers would not, one feels, be appropriate.

    • 69
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Or “Here are the details of someone else”

    • 111
      Archer Karcher says:

      As Huhne made a tidy sum out of speed cameras and cctv spy cameras, it is a delicious irony that the very things he peddled in business, have come back to bite his worthless arse. Likely, his eco-loonery, will do the same in time.

      • 122
        AC1 says:

        Unfortunately the starvation the Melons will cause will not just affect them.

    • 115
      Sir William Waad says:

      Those speed cameras are useless. If anything, they slow traffic down.

      • 139
        The Paragnostic says:

        Why do people not realise that –

        a) their car speedo already overstates their speed by about 5-10%, and
        b) the cameras are set at (speed limit * 1.1) + 1 mph?

        If I’m on a 50mph stretch, cruising at an indicated 58 or so, I never slow down and have never been caught by a camera – why does every other bugger slow down to about 45 for the cameras?

        Never understood that one.

        • 181
          20 Megaton says:

          Is it because you’ve given your number plates 50 coats of hair lacquer?

  25. 71
    ichabod says:

    I was trying to read the Telegraph over the shoulder of a fellow commuter ( seldom buy the Riddell infested rag these days) and saw a picture of the gorgeous pouting media solicitor Charlotte Harris ( eminently shaggable IMO) next to an article about Huhne; has he called in the legal people ?

  26. 73
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Since when have the MONGS at the BBC ever been good at proper journalism? Nearly 4 billion a year and the c.u.n.t.z still have to get info from others.

  27. 76
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    What would Maggie do? “I never hugged the BBC, I bombed it!” or “The problem with the BBC is that they always run out of other peoples money”

    • 119
      Archer Karcher says:

      She should have destroyed it. The BBC is a far greater enemy to this country, than any trade union.

  28. 82
    Andrew Marr's hypocritical c**t says:

    You all owe me £600,000, so I can afford expensive lawyers. Because I’m worth it.

    • 187
      Rufus T. Firefly says:

      They don’t come anymore expensive than me buddy. You can contact me at Shyster, Flywheel & Shyster

  29. 91
    I says:

    Guido, time for a twitter update on the latest superinjunctions

  30. 93
    Comment of the day says:

    No wonder Huhne hates bloggers

    • 151
      The truth always comes out eventually says:

      Scum like Hunhe and Marr are like junkies who hate cops.

  31. 104
    It doesn't add up... says:

    I wonder if the European Parliament would have a record of Huhne’s expenses claims for March, 2006? Might they include petrol receipts in Belgium or Holland, (dated and timed and tied by dedicated key fob to a particular vehicle)? Or a ferry booking? Isn’t the EAW fun?

    • 121
      It doesn't add up... says:

      Can this one – wrong date.

      • 155
        Yer havin' a larf, n'est–ce pas? says:

        That and.. EU.. keeping expenses receipts?

        Oh, les sense-of-humour de l’anglais!

  32. 106
    harrietspants says:

    Huhne is just going to have to keep his finger in the dyke and hope for the best

  33. 108
    It doesn't add up... says:

    I wonder if the European Parliament would have a record of Huhne’s expenses claims for March, 2003? Might they include petrol receipts in Belgium or Holland, (dated and timed and tied by dedicated key fob to a particular vehicle)? Or a ferry booking? Isn’t the EAW fun?

  34. 113
    BBC Pubic Relations says:

    Tim Henman is clearly highly talented and is worth every penny of his £200,000 fee for two weeks work at Wimbledon at the end of June.

  35. 120
    Shane Warne says:

    The ICC has issued an arrest warrant for Colonel Gadaffi.

    Of all the attrocities that man has committed, surely there can be none worse that cheating at cricket.


    • 127
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Yes he done a Peter Hain and co to the pitch.

  36. 123
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Glad the intern didnt write the headline, Could have been funny then.

  37. 124
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Another bent one whose story doesn’t stack up:

    • 146
      MrAngry61 says:

      No surprise that the BBC emphasise that he’s a Tory.

    • 148
      The Paragnostic says:

      Pity they didn’t investigate another 300 or so as well, but you can be sure that Hannington will face the full force of outraged BBC opprobrium…

    • 158
      One Law for Them says:

      Why has Lord Taylor not been thrown in his cell yet ?

  38. 126
    Shane Warne says:

    West Ham hope to appoint a new manager in the next two to three weeks after parting company with Avram Grant, BBC Sport understands.

    The club announced his exit after Sunday’s defeat at Wigan, which resulted in them being relegated.

    Former LibDem MP and Energy Secretary,Chris Huhne is the bookmakers’ favourite

    • 130
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Well……………….. Its better the Goron Brown ………………………..Just………….

    • 150
      The Paragnostic says:

      What? Huhne off to work for two pornographers and a dildo demonstrator dolly?

      Carina will be jealous, but calmed by the prospect of free strap-on samples…

  39. 133
    Dominique Strauss-Kahn says:

    With hindsight, I wish I’d just had a quick Barclays.

    • 154
      The truth always comes out eventually says:

      You daft old codger the amount of money you are on you could of hired a handful or legal prossies to come entertain you in your hotel room.

      • 161
        DSK says:

        Oui, but then ah would ‘ave to take out les injunction super.

      • 177
        It doesn't add up... says:

        Ex Attorney-General Eliot Sptizer reminds you that prostitution in not legal in the State of NY.

      • 192
        Handycock says:

        The truth had better never come out or I am in deep shit.

  40. 147
    Nick Clegg says:

    PM on R4 had the Beeboid politico refusing to say that ‘the other person’ is Huhne’s wife. Why?

    They’re treating it like a big joke. Get on the case, Beeboids, I want him out sharpish!

    • 157
      Sitting in rear cubicle at Pomeroy's Wine Bar says:

      Sorry to disappoint, Nick…….I suspect that it’ll be kicked into touch by DPP…… if it ever gets that far……… on grounds of ….”Insufficient Chance of a Conviction” although it’ll probably “do” for Huhne politically if the police decide there are sufficient grouns to forward the file for referral

  41. 156
    Knacker. says:

    There’s no mystery, Crick

  42. 172
    20 Megaton says:

    Mr Strauss – Kahn is innocent until proven guilty, of course.

    However, when he goes to gaol how easy is it getting a taxi in Guantanamo Bay?

  43. 175

    Labour must be in trouble. They cannot be paying those amoeba to come here and cause trouble any more. Tough life with the cuts and all that.

  44. 179
    Jumbo says:

    You should do a review of the year (or even month) showing which memorable stories were broken by you – and by whom.

  45. 191
    tory boys never grow up says:

    I’m surprised Guido isn’t asking his usual cui bono question – two senior LibDems and the those who like nuclear power spring to mind.

  46. 196
    Desperate Dan says:

    I wrote it on your blog at 10.17am yesterday.

  47. 197
    Terrible But True says:

    One wonders, in the land of Aunty, where in the timeframe of being behind the curve that £4Bpa doesn’t buy you, ‘discovery’ lies vs. ‘has learned’.

    Sources are asking.

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Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

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orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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