Friday Caption Contest (LibDem Seats Edition)
How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
For what its worth.
“I think we are alone now”
Surfaris: Wipe Out
because only a song would do!
I can’t believe it!
Yes Paddy, get used to it. The only way your party will survive is if it shuts up and lets the Tories run the show.
If Dave had balls, which we doubt, he would now call an election. Fck the Lie Dems, wipe them out.
Paddy’s previous evening had started so well, as he treated Douglas Murray with contempt, had patronised him whilst oozing sanctimoniousness, and had made Yasmin Alibai-Brown damp with excitement. He then wowed the audience with tales of derring do, killing enemy comabatants with his bare hands and seeing his comrades die around him. All this delivered with his eyelids narrowed to mere slits, voice reduced to menacing sub-Churchillian growl. At any moment, one felt he might stab Murray in the throat. Truly, we were never so safe as when Paddy did our killing for us and then retired from active service to carry the standard of righteousness an liberal RECTITUDE in all things.
After that, however, he found that even the QT identikit leftwinger and grievance-merchant audience were reduced to pointing at him and giggling as he fabricated stories about his pivotal role in the creation of a coalition with the Tories and condemning Brron to opposition and oblivion. He tried to get back on track with more war stories and dying comrades, but it was too late. The magic had worn off, the fizz had left the bottle, the audience suddenly aware of a naked charlatan in front of them.
Suddenly, no one wanted to know Paddy any more.
Paddy, watching himself on QT on his iplayer, sniffs finger ‘ah, Yasmin’
Labour supporters used to vote LD to keep Tories away, now they aren’t doing it so Tories are doing well as well. For LD isn’t a disaster its a tsunami. Sad thing is LD leaders are so interested in power, they are refusing to see what is happening.
The great thing about being in governmment and having power is everyone wants to get close to you.
Ashdown says: “I am very, very angry about this result, I feel betrayed, there is no-one I can make big puppy-dog eyes at and act all hard because of my time in the marines, revealing a tough yet caring side and then commit adultery with”
Well labour in scotland was going well – on par with the SNP
and then Gordon Brooon ( doom merchant ) entered campaign
result … the greatest defeat in scotland, and a majority for SNP in a system designed by labour to prevent (mix of FPTP and AV+) a majority
just like thier economic woes, broon is now crippled in his back yard.
Sadly SNP is just a socialist party who wants independance…
Tweet of the day – the SNP provides a winning combination of Nationalism and Socialism – what can possibly go wrong with that?
So, prima! Schottland, neu Hauptstadt der Bewohnung.
The National Scots Democratic Alliance Party.
NSDAP.
You’re right. That does sound familiar.
In other news, an exhibition of Alex Salmond’s watercolours will replace the degenerate Young British Artists at the Kelvingrove, while fine examples of Scottish Youth parade in their kilts, ginger hair gleaming in the sunshine of “A New Beginning” (Voelkische Beobachter, 1925…).
Eurythmics classes for all are set to be announced in the Leader’s first address at
NuremEdinburg.# “Just when I’d stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.
Don’t you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you’d want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don’t bother, they’re here.”
UK entry for Eurovison 2011 takes time out during rehearsals at the O2 Arena
Those who feel the breath of sadness
Sit down next to me
Those who Find there touched by madness
Sit down next to me
Lib Dem Glee club ponder whether choosing ‘No-one likes us we don’t care’ as post election party song was a wise move…….
I’ll give my mate in the SEALS a call, they have a shoot to kill policy.
If Clegg has a dignity he will resign as party leader and deputy PM. But being what he is, he will use the taxpayer given chaffer and car (Jag) to go and stay in the taxpayer funded house (worth £15m) and have a lovely time, every comfort is provider at the house including servants at taxpayers expense.
Then he will give an interview on “nation interest”, the reason he is serving the public.
Clegg has to stay because theres no-one else to do it.
(ie cameron’s human shield. its just a flesh wound. bullet in the leg!)
Nick Clegg is about to give a speach to the lib Dums on “Why he continues to be the best candidate to lead his party”.
Surrounded by a sea of blue?
B. O. ?
Shock result for Horsforth as Lib Dems lose monopoly of power for first time..
http://horsforthletdownbyleeds.blogspot.com/
Zack Goldsmith sent me the invite. I hope I read it properly.
“Go back to constituencies, and prepare for oblivion..”
Lib Dems hold onto their core vote.
checking out the removable seats for the party conference, just in case there are not so many of us and we want to have a small back room feel
That mixed bean salad was delicious
Caught with their pants down
ack, remind me no beans for brekkie
Paddy ashdown ponders todays Sun wordsearch looking for the words lib dem, progressive and prepare for government
Its ok team, I’ve got a plan to get us back up the ratings.. Lads? Lads?
The Nick Clegg Appreciation Society may have overbooked the venue..
I agree with Nick
Fiona Hislop (SNP) just compared Scotland’s lack of independence to whats going on in the middle east. what planet is she on? Just on BBC’s Scotland results show about 5 mins ago. Do we still have the order of OTT Guido?
sorry wrong thread to post in
There can be no valid comparison.
One is a poor, backward region with corrupt political practices, odious leaders, an unemployable, uneducated population and a historic reliance on oil.
The other is the Middle East
+1 LOL
+ 2 LOL
+ googleplex hehe
OT: You’ve taken me back about 35 years… wasn’t it Carl Sagan who coined that word during one of the Royal Academy Christmas lectures on the (pre-socialist) BBC1? Pity he didn’t create a science or a general studies syllabus for UK schools… the UK would have produced students and graduates with intelligence!
Going back further, P Doff – do you remember the series that Eric Laithwaite (RIP) gave on engineering? First real public showing of maglev principles, mad gyroscopes doing 30,000 rpm – that was probably the most informative series of Christmas Lectures since Faraday.
ROFL
looks like I’m a lone voice in the wind again….or just a silly old fart as usual
“I was going to say that’s the one seat we haven’t lost, but he’s a Lord, nobody votes for him..”
A LibDem adrift in a sea of blue
They all agree with nick.
Dave Walsh says: A Lib-Dem can have my seat for £50!
Paddy welcomes new Lib Dem councilors into the fray of local Government
“We wont have that many seats next election”
Lord Ashdown can’t believe Chelsea just beat United
I knew I should have booked the phone box outside to hold this conference
“This isnt Lords, bloody sat nav”
Official photo, the Libdem parliamentary group, 2015
winner
winner. Succinct, with it.
When I was told I was going to get a safe seat, this wasn’t what I was expecting
Hmmm.. 2 Down: C, something, A, something. “What did the electorate think of AV?”
“UEFA deny that over-Pr*cing caused the lack of intrest in the champions league final at Wembley”
O/T Hearing rumours which not being a constitutional expert I can’t comment if correct ….. that in the event that SNP hold referendum on independence and win it …the UK Government(Secretary of State for Scotland) in Westminster can under the provisions of the Scotland Act 1998 veto any legislation and instruct the First Minister not to submit any such Bill that the Scottish Parliament may enact to the Sovereign for Royal Assent so if true Salmond cannot put legislation in motion to take Scotland out of the Union as such a move would not receive Westminster Parliamentary approval so it seems the Independence Referendum even if it’s a vote for independance can’t achieve it’s stated aim. So perhaps we now know why Salmond has deferred such a move until later in the Parliament by which time people will have forgotten all about it ?
sure UK government could do that the real parliament is sovereign the one in holyrood isn’t. But it would be a major political own goal to do so. But wont come to that. Referendum either wont hapen or will fail.
If the politicians in London stop Scotland gaining independence, there will be such a backlash from the English that the MPs’ lives won’t be worth living.
Hoots mon
Anyone for tennis
Fucking jockos are drug-addled benefits scrounging scums
paddy booked a premier league football team stadium to have the post election rally in. they said that they had won as much as us, unfortunately it was everton
Lord Pantsdown: Looks like I win at Musical Chairs, so what’s the prize?
Did I ever mention that I was in Special Forces…. Oh, I did.. ? Nurse!!!!!?
Producer forgot to tell Ashdown that 10 o’clock Live had been scrapped
The Gordon Brown comeback evening, was not a success.
At the hard boiled egg eating contest Lord Pantsdown wins in both the amount consumed and his ability in clearing the room afterwards!
“vince cables speech to conference doesnt go down to well”
paddy waited impatiently for the annual “philandering famous people who have been caught out by the tabloids but were not clever enough to take out an injunction” party to begin.
Joking aside, Ashdown let the cat out the bag on Question Time last night when he revealed what Labour told the Lib Dem’s during negotiations last May. He said the Lib Dem’s asked Labour if they were prepared to go into a coalition, and they said no, that they had created the mess and wanted to leave it to the Lib Dem’s and Tories to clear it up. Andy Burnham looked panicked by Ashdown letting this slip and started shouting, aided by an even more Labour dominated audience than usual who started shrieking at Ashdown.
Very bad chairing by Dimbleby. Ashdown had lost his temper and was about to spill all the beans about what happened but Dimbleby let Burnham and the audience mob shout him down and the moment was lost.
“Very bad chairing by Dimbleby.”
Consistent though.
That’s a most interesting post, The Truth is Out, especially for those who can’t stand the over-paid and under-talented Son of Nepotism Dimblebore and his pathetically out of date leftward-leaning programme. Let’s hope the likelihood of implosion will pressure Pantsdown to spill a few more embarrassing beans. Your contribution is a welcome antidote to the increasingly desperate and pointless drivel on Guido’s blog, especially from the over-ubiquitous Anonymous and the weird Lord Bowden.
I only watched for 4 minutes and couldn’t help but note the audience were cherry picked Labour diehards, even more than usual as you say. Switched over further sickened at the blatantly partisan BBC. Privatize them Dave – please.
Paddy Ashdown discovers the flaw in his plan to assassinate Nick Clegg from the safety of a Lib-Dem conference crowd and tries to act nonchalant….
“I voted YES to AV”
On a more amusing note saw on another blog
” No one can buy my vote(for anything less than a fiver)”
I voted No.
The Nick Clegg Appreciation Society’s annual meeting gets into full swing.
Under AV the blue seat would have got elected.
+1
Paddy, you have been evicted. Please leave the big house.
Suicide bomber at the Lib-Dem 2015 post election party fells silly as he realises no ones coming!
Silly bitch on Radio 5 “It was a moderately good night for the Tories and ?Labour”
Labour? It was a fucking disaster for Labour!!!
The BBC still spinning for Red Ed
Did I make a total pwat of myself ????????
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-11652851
Ooopth.
No you made a total cnut of yourself – a process you have repeated many times since.
you never know, could be viewed as OK for Labour. Like the episode of father ted, where the three bishops that came to visit were (a) dead (b) given up religion and set off on a hippy van trip (c) had a holy artefact shoved up his arse.
and they said:
“well that went rather well didn’t it”
“Nick cleggs fairwell party doesnt quite go to plan”
Winner!
The annual meeting of the LimDem Appreciation Society is in full swing.
“Paddy Pantsdown at a heterosexuals only meeting of the Lib Dems”
Is this the one safe seat?
If we had had AV we would at kleast have come an honourable fourth
Paddy “I’m pissing myself with laughter at this “sell -out” concert of Guido Fawkes in concert with Peppa Pig”
Yeah. Keep trying.
Here are all the people who don’t think Gordon Brown is a rampant homosexual and destroyed our economy.
Can’t be I don’t see Bollocks or Toilets in the picture!
“I just shit myself”
Paddy sits through 30mins of adverts while Nick gets the popcorn
… so, when I was in special forces……..
No, it’s alright, nurse. My party will be along in a minute, I’m sure of it……
Returning officer.
“…And in this section we’ve allocated all the people we think we’ll need to count the YES to AV votes.”
It’s me wot won it for them.
“This meeting of the LibDem Parliamentary Party for 2015 is now open. I call myself to order …”
O/T But remeber those student protests?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1384211/Charlie-Gilmour-admits-violent-disorder-student-fees-protest.html
I see Alky Ada are now reported to have admitted that the Seals did in fact takeout the bin the other day.
So how will the Alex Jones leftie nut jobs react now? No doubt they will tell us that Alky Ada wants us to think Bin Bag is dead so he can safely carry on as before.
Perhaps the aliens have him?
If its a conspiracy they are, as usual, making sure they get very very many dull stupid details ring true. (including buggering up their story).
They’re a bit late with the news. It was all over the TV for the last five days. Haven’t they got any TVs in their caves?
C*unts been tied to an anchor and tossed in the sea too. Did you not get the memo?
Silly fuckers. Still, compared to being 600 years behind the rest of the planet I suppose a week late is an improvement.
Paddy Ashdown contemplates the test results from his Oncologist and quickly realises that just like the Liberal Democrats he has very little time left.
Recollecting the old one about ‘Can I borrow tuppence to phone a friend? Here’s fourpence, phone them all” how about “Paddy Ashdown tells David Cameron he won’t need his money after all…”"
Fairy Dairy Land is nothing amazing.
Paddy looking at his Diary suddenly realises.
“Shit, I’m supposed to be at St Ives Cornwall not St Ives Cambridgeshire.”
And this is how many empty seats the Liberals will have to fill if they’re going to form a government.
“Order-Orders first annaul caption contest award ceromony”
Bloody hell, it is! And you’re not in it!
Unless Lord Pantsdown is Lord Bowden.
Have you ever seen them both in the same room at the same time?
OT
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13280105
1345: Shadow chancellor Ed Balls, being interviewed by David Dimbleby, said “it was a bad result for Labour last night.
Maybe so. But a great result for England.
Bad night for the BBC
Getting worse…
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13280105
1402: Brian Taylor, BBC Scotland’s political editor, points out that Labour designed the voting system in Scotland with the express aim of preventing the SNP ever winning an overall majority. That plan has backfired spectacularly, he says, with this “astounding” victory.
Spelling out what we all knew. The voting system in Scotland was rigged to ‘ensure’ a Labour playground Uber Alles. A thousand year reich of idiocy where Labour could spend their guaranteed income buying votes in perpetuity. Somewhere that would always have plenty of spare cash for party funds and a limitless pool of imbeciles to emerge from time to time and give the wider UK the benefit of their idiocy.
And it’s blown up in their faces after only 13 years.
Did Labour, in their entire 13 years in power get anything right?
Kept us out the Euro? Tho for the wrong reasons the right descion.
Can you count that as a ‘right’ decision in that case?
for Labour, Yes
But sold our gold to prop it up and telegraphed the fact they were selling it beforehand helping to depress the price.
I know of no competent UK politician, anywhere!
That is the one thing I am prepared to acknowledge that Gordoom got right.
Yes, one thing, on May 12th 2010.
It’s ok jgm2 you don’t need to thank us, honestly it’s no trouble at all.
I timed my exit perfectly though didn’t I? Saw the writing on the wall and left. Pity the poor fuckers trapped there now with the knowledge that the votes in Scotland go to whoever promises more of OPM.
Yes. The law requiring dog owners
to clear up after their mutts is a
triumph. And, Yes, now let me see.
Yes that’s it.
The smoking ban in pubs. I quit in advance (2005) – so far I’ve saved about £13K.
Introduced by the EU – compulsory hence Euro-wide adoption. Fuck all to do with Labour. Next?
I won’t be convinced that it’s a bad night for the BBC until I hear reports of empty Prussic Acid bottles in the corridors.
And even then it’ll be a great night for the rest of us.
Scouse bitch on Radio 5 just sounded SO HAPPY when she said that “Labour had taken Blackpool from the Tories”
Finally some good news for the BBC. A lot of drugs and shit stabbing in Blackpool, should be popular with Radio 5 when they move up to Salford.
A long way to catch up with Lodon eh
typo London
The chutney ferrets, dykes and beardies have just become the largest party in Brighton. Cue BBC orgasm.
They don’t need to go as far as Blackpool – Canal Street and its environs are a veritable Sodom in the very centre of Manchester.
Ashdown wanted to go and watch ManU v’s Chelsea but realises that there are no Lib Dem seats left
Ashdown checks his ticket…
No, its definitely today….
“Raith Rovers, Stark’s Park stadium..3pm. Gordon Brown’s ‘Beyond belief The Crash I caused’..book signing..Bring your own drink. Strictly ticket only. No refunds”
Watch last night’s Question Time on iplayer. If you thought previous editions had a Labour biased audience, you ain’t seen nothing yet! Last night’s lot were constantly shouting down any criticism of Labour and whooping Andy Burnham’s stream of lies. And you also had the gruesome spectacle of Yazbin Alibi Drown complaining that Bin Laden’s rights were violated!!
If Labour fail to gain more than 1000 council seats in England, fail to get an overall majority in Wales and lose Scotland is that a bad result for the two Neds?
Question Time has always had a Labour bias – Dimbleby will always talk the Torys down in favour of Labour.
I have never seen anything so biased.
However, Dimbleby said at the end that it was the last show by that editor.
This could go one of two ways.
My guess is that it will get more extreme, pro Liebour.
The text pickers need a lesson in balance too.
The trouble with the ‘text-pickers’ is that it is entirely possible, just as bed-wetters obviously apply to be in the audience in massively disproportionate numbers to their actual numbers, that the bed-wetters simply overwhelm the the system with their bed-wetter ‘facts’ and ‘logic’.
I would watch it, but if I do so my screen will be in mortal danger.
Who was that child sitting next to Paddy (Padraig), he is a true Irish man, is he a general or admiral or head of fighter command seen service war at first hand seen his colleagues shot and die in front of him, he talked like one.
Paddy struggles with his Ipad until it dawns on him he’s been sold a mouse mat.
Gets my vote.
O/T, it’s nearly 2 o’clock in the afternoon and less than half the councils have declared. WTF’s going on in this third world country?
We haven’t finished faking all the postal votes yet infidel
They’re waiting for the last post to make sure all the postal votes are counted.
In NI they were still awaiting their first result when I last looked at 12.30. A bit slow over there – shoes and socks off to aid counting I expect.
They had to fit the count in between Sext and None, with an additional session before Vespers if needed,
‘What time does the snooker final start?’
Anyone else just hear Shelagh Fogherty on Radio 5 have a nice little chat with Ed Balls? She didn’t interrupt him once, gave him a soft ride and didn’t really challenge him over his cuts.
No. I don’t believe it. That doesn’t sound like the BBC at all.
Oh, Ed, tell the audience how simply super you are! Tell them, Ed, don’t be bashful! Ooh, Ed, tell them *unzipping noise* how clever you are, tell them *mumble* *sound of sucking*
Fab lolly break?
Blimey! That one was about 500 calories a sniff.
Newsnight audience with the BBC Labour stooges removed.
+100
claps
winner
“Alone again, naturally..”
Paddy: I’m a Lib/Dem/Socialist – “waiting for Gordo” – to make a come-back!!
you mean El Gordo!
I’m hundreth!
What member of the LibDems?
Lord Ashdown surrounded by Lib Dem supporters.
“Paddy Power relise they asked the wrong Paddyto come and film thier new advert”
Home Alone
“Perhaps supporting Bin Laden on QT last night didn’t do my popularity much good, after all”.
+1
Last Lib Dem afraid to leave his seat …….. just in case
” I know we should never have sat on these blue seats”
“Oh fuck ….fuck fuck fuck fuck”
This is a good one on the ConHome website
Satan’s on the phone to Nick Clegg: “Did you not read the small print? The contract’s only valid for 12 months.”
Nick wants to know if you want an early election, he’s game nothing left to lose anyway.
Apart from his seat of course and the total annihilation of his party
Nothing left to lose, and no money to fight a General Election campaign.
Billy Flokin’ No_mates
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
forgot where he put his pants!!
Liar liar pants on fire !!
You talking about B’Liar he will be sending a super injunction out to you
Lord Ashdown enjoys the Marcus Brigstock sell out tour
Fancy listening to Haguey for 3 hours
“Always look on the bright side of live” tata da daaa da da
life
or even
It’s a Zen thing.
If a Lib-dem cries in an empty stadium does he make any noise?
There’s certainly been a whining sound on the radio today.
His speech is drowned out by the sounds of one hand clapping.
“Lord of the Aisles”
It’s enoughto make you weep!
…99, 100. Ready or not, here I come!
“At least I have more friends than Chris Huhne, I suppose”.
Paddy Ashdown with all of his friends…..
Pompous old wind bag sent to naughty step for saying very rude things about his former bestest friend, David.
That Was The Week That Was:
Pippa, nice arse.
Paddy, total arse.
SNP just took another Labour seat. Rather deliciously, they just said the next seat to announce will be Killkiddies! It will be particularly satisfying if the SNP have taken a Labour seat in Jonah’s backyard!
Facts the LibDems are making up:
105. Your (Tory) MP doesn’t care about your job.
106. Do as we say and your MP will work harder.
107. The LibDems never make up facts.
108. If it wasn’t for us the Tories wouldn’t be reducing the deficit.
109. If it wasn’t for us no-one would have been taken out of tax.
etc. etc. etc.
SNP have just won Killkiddies and now have an overall majority in Scottish parliament!
Bye Scotland, thanks for all the oil.
Now if you could RBS off our hands that’ll be great.
P.S. You can keep Gordon Brown too…..
How about, “when you fuck off, take Gordon with you or we’re keeping the Bank of Scotland, which we had to bail-out for you, you clod-headed morons.”
Not that it’s worth much, but it probably has sentimental value for them.
Ex-cellent !
“I’m pissing myself “
Typical Liebore voter, they tend to soil their pants as well and are unable to feed themselves.
Martin – I hear Gordon also has that problem. You should ask his Sarah if you can borrow some of Gordons pads.
Paddy Ashdown declares himself leader of the New Liberal Democrat Party.
Next meeting, Charing Cross Station, 2nd telephone box on the left…
Paddy Ashdown declares himself leader of the New Liberal Democrat Party.
That i like +1
How the hell did I make all these turn blue??
+2
Gordon Browns Kirkcaldy constituency reject Labour and have votes SNP to give them an outright majority in Scots Parliament. Thank you Gordon the gift that keeps on Giving.
.
Where are they now?
Huhney monster on bbc with Sadick Khunt.
5 more years 5 more years
Kirkcaldy has not gone to the SNP. That’s a Tory smear. In real terms, my policies have led to a 894% increase in employment that in terms of post-endogenous growth theory will see a 0% rise in tractor production, and that means Kirkcaldy is still a Labour stronghold. Wibble.
My husband my looser I’m off !!!!
Coming up to your first anniversary soon.
WE agree Gordon
Paddy makes the decision between the devil or the deep blue sea–ts
We all know what will happen now with all the Labour council gains. They’ll give their chief executives a massive salary whilst cutting front line services, and then blame the government for the cuts. That’s what Labour are all about. Line their own pockets and deliberately give their constituents poor services as a political game to score points against the coalition. Labour have no qualms about playing politics with people’s lives and jobs.
Already happening.
After 180-ish out of 280-ish councils they’ve only got 45 councils in total compared to the T*ries 90-odd so they can only fuck up places that are pre-fucked ie Labour heartlands.
Struggling to give a shit. Those shaved monkeys deserve everything Labour throws at them.
Well said
We like the phrase ‘pre-fucked’ (it’s really progressive) when referring to certain councils and will endeavour to use it at every opportunity when referring to those that are Conservative-controlled.
0000 no
1111 no
2222 no
3333 no
……..
0111 no
0222 no
0333 no
……..
9000 no
9111 no
9222 no
……..
funny.
what was in the briefcase…his vote ..?
No. It’s his bus fare. He can’t go home without it.
Tut. don’t be daft. Bus PASS.
Gordon Brown, Stephen Purcell, Jim Devine your boys took one He’ll of a beating last night !
There’s Norway that’s going to be the winner
wincing here
Ashdown changes his answer to the NUTS quiz.
“C – Lacy thong and tassels set.” – I thought they meant for me to wear.
Doomed!!!!!
Well you wasted your time then didn’t you Sarah? Tee Hee!
Never mind. There’s always America to fall back on……..or has that gone tits up as well?
the real Billy is exposed at the first meeting of the umpire appreciation society
Nah. I’m Paddy ashdown actually.
Paddy thought that the losses were bad but until he turned up at the annual meeting of the Association of LibDem Councillors he didn’t appreciate just HOW bad
Thinks; Now did they say the conference was in Blackpool or Bournemouth ?
” LABOUR’S FIGHTBACK BEGINS IN SCOTLAND !! ”
Yeth, Scothland in ..er..Northumberlanth
Oh, excellent!
Did the £50 an hour Lib Dem escort win?
thought he was a green?
Oh yeah, I forgot. Can’t blame me, they’re both loony parties.
Funnily enough, no.
http://www.brightonandhovenews.org/2011/05/brighton-and-hove-city-council-election-result-north-portslade/
Looks as though Portslade was won by Reds. No fans of the brown stuff have won there!
He got hardly any votes, but the weirdie bumbandit still beat the LimpDims. And Portslade’s hardly Kemptown.
Lord Pantsdown arrives just in time for the premiere of “An Evening with Gordon Brown”
Nice one.
About as welcome as a turd in a swimming pool
Where did it all go wrong…..?? Things were so so good last year…..
The Lib Dems are finished, kaput, not alive anymore and about as attractive now as the proverbial dead parrot.
As for Paddy Pantsdown, (I was in the special services you know) he was an utter disgrace to the UK on QT last night. He wants The West to “follow the rule of law” against people we are at war with, like the terrorist Odorous Bin Liner.
He has lost the plot in a big way, even asked a fellow panellist “how old are you” in an attempt to belittle him. He has become the Chief of the Chief when it comes to being sanctimonious. He is just an old has been with a bad temper and should be quietly put out to grass in a field far, far away.
As for Yazbin Alibi (also on QT) the woman is plainly anti British and dangerously delusional. She should be locked up or thrown out with the rest of the Mullah Musses who would do this country down. (I did Google her but only got pictures of Michael Winner, Sarah Brown and Guido Falkes). Must be a moral there somewhere!
I used to like Paddy, but he’s definitely been OD’ing on the Smug Pills for a few years.
I thought the same about Ashdown, used to like the fella but not any more- ha has become a sanctimonious old fart.
The horrid liitle Yasmin woman is an utter disgrace and needs to be deported.
Question Time is so biased in favour of Liebore and needs to be shelved.
It is utter crap!!!
Turnout at the Bosnian Serb Republic Army reunion was disappointing.
“if only we elected a Hunt as leader, Oh we did…”
The conference was over, but Paddy was still struggling with Level 9 of ‘Breach of Faith 2 – Total Meltdown’.
and in conclusion i would like to thank all my friends family and loyal liberal voters for their support and i accept their nomination as mayoral candidate, house of lords go suck it.
Guido, surely a new thread is in order to celebrate the delicious Labour defeat in Brown’s backyard of Killkiddies?
SNP jobs paid for by English tax payers
Oil! You’ll be broke without us! You’ll be sorry! You’re a tiny country and we’re massive! etc etc etc
LibDem Conference has its quorum.
I love how Yvette Balls on the bbc is trying to spin last night as a good night for Labour!! That’s quite a talent.
She obviously hasn’t spoken to her husband. Probably couldn’t get a word in edgeways anyway.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13280105
1345: Shadow chancellor Ed Balls, being interviewed by David Dimbleby, said “it was a bad result for Labour last night.
“..a bad night for labour.. I am fully behind the leader.. full support for him…maybe it would have been better under another leader…someone who isn’t a fourth choice candidate..someone who has much more experience..of course, I do really support the leader..but..you know..i’m just saying..”
Ned Balls – even more implicated in the Labour economic clusterfuck than Ned Miliband.
Cameron gains council seats. Labour fails to take control of Wales and is practically annihilated in Scotland.
Cameron will be delirious with joy this afternoon. And champagne.
I wonder what Mad Hattie’s take on it is. “The public have given us a clear message that they want us to return to government blah blah blah.”
Except government in Scotland. They gave us a clear message they want fuck-all to do with us there.
Hahahahaha.
Fuck off Labour.
Anyone reckon i got a chance of wining?
winning, or whining?
From the Gilbert O’Sullivan (remember him?) song – Alone Again, Naturally.
Referendum counting begins at 4.
…and the yes to AV vote will be counted by 4:01
The 2nd-preference votes will be counted at 4:02.
Am I right in saying McBroon has been ousted by SNP?
No, its scottish election not MP election.
No. Sadly he’s still an MP. 65K a year for being an incompetent, economy-destroying c*unt.
Mind you, his imbecile government might have inadvertently done us all a favour if the SNP carry out their threat and fuck off with their 60 or so Labour MPs.
65K p/a not to show up for work.
You can tell he’s got Britain’s financial interests at heart.
“You can tell he’s got Britain’s financial interests at heart.”
Now that really would be a first.
When will somebody bring me a pair of trousers
Iain Gray will stand down in the autumn.
any chance we could put him and the one eyed mong in a room with a couple of large Whisky’s and a couple of loaded revolvers?
*************BBC Newsnight****************
The Tories will be smashed today losing 1000+ seats
It will be a great night for Labour who will take 1300+ seats.
The worlds finest fucking broadcaster my fucking arse, the bunch of doped up left wing tools.
we are lib dems,
we are lib dems,
no one likes us,
we don’t care,
Soon, they can go back the comfortable sofa of opposition, dreaming their dreams and thinking up unaffordable policies and making unkeepable promises.
And this varies from Labour how?
Because Labour are already there?
Thank you. Labour in opposition. Say it gain. It’s so uplifting.
How do you get 4 green’s on a council seat?
Turn it upside down and lubricate the legs
“No, no John, before I answer your question – and we will get back to it, let me just say this, on behalf of all the people here (aside: this is radio, isn’t it?)…..”
Every time Liebore take a council Radio 5 make it breaking news, when the Tories take one they don’t report it.
Comrade Robinson reports that Labour have won a million billion seats and the Tory-led government have been dealt a hammer-blow by the glorious Workers.
Don’t forget; I watched people die.
Every time you speak.
No, infidel! I have still sending my 52,941 posting votes!
Lord Ashdown meets the 2015 intake of the Liberal Democrats PLP
Liberating a fart.
“Paddy Ashdown attends Parliamentry hetro-sexual group of the Lib dems”
Paddy is feeling blue again!
My intervention in Labour’s campaign in Scotland proved crucial, even if I say so myself.
OT
► 14.17 Kirkcaldy goes to the SNP! This is Gordon Brown’s backyard. “One of the safest seats in Scotland, it would be a major shock if anyone but Labour won in Kirkcaldy.” That’s what we said ahead of voting day. Details soon.
http://www.thecourier.co.uk/News/National/article/13683/scottish-election-live-snp-storm-to-majority-victory.html
And here’s how Labour managed to pick up a few council seats. By waging a proxy-war with tax-payers money and depriving their political enemies of funds….
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13313069
However, the party had to rein back on its campaign spending with debts of more than £500,000, which it has said it expects to pay off by the end of the year.
The B&P was facing doubts over its future after costly court cases brought against it including one by the Equality and Human Rights Commission.
Job done lads.
These, remember, arethe same folk who arrested a T*ry MP for leaking mildly embarrassing immigration figures and claiming that it was a matter of national security.
Utter, utter c*unts.
Yes but arresting that Tory twat stopped you talking about my husband wanking himself stupid didn’t it?
But weirdly not you talking about folk wanking themselves stupid. I suppose after losing your seat you have a lot more time to talk wank these days.
perhaps we can stand next to Ed Miliband (or GB) with a t-shirt depicting a grave with Labour written on it (and a picture of a grave as opposed to a grace of a war hero).
B&P fuc ked themselves over, Griffin is a troughing wanker who’s been sucking the party dry for years, just look at the “Truth truck” incident and all the ‘friendly’ printers they’ve used previously.
Blood suckers the lot of them, just like any other party with the additional benefit of having genuine neo na zis in their leadership who get arrested for conspiring to kill their leader.
Labour of have got a lot of things to answer for but the demise of the B&P isn’t one of them.
In a little while from now,
If I’m not feeling any less sour
I promised myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower,
And climbing to the top,
Will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to who
Ever what it’s like when your shattered
Left standing in the lurch, at a church
Where people ‘re saying,
“My God that’s tough, she stood him up!
No point in us remaining.
May as well go home.”
As I did on my own,
Alone again, naturally
Wow the South West had a 45% turnout out for the AV. They will be a majority of YES.
Dream on !!!
Directive from Tory High Command: “stop gloating, be nice to your electoral flak jacket”.
Pantsdown is forced to go on the naughty seat after another outburst at his anger management session.
‘They told me it would be a low turnout but this is pants’
Paddy listens to a little Patsy Cline…
“Crazy, I’m crazy for feeling so lonely
I’m crazy, crazy for feeling so blue-e-e-e
I knew you’d love me as long as you wanted
And then someday you’d leave me for somebody new…”
Someone forgot to tell Paddy the Coalition was over……..
One section of the Hillsborough stand was strangely empty.
fuck me take a look at Peter Hain on BBC news now, he’s like a glowing amber traffic light, I have to put sunglasses on.
Ah, BA stewardess orange. Haven’t seen that for a couple of weeks.
Has he said “Tory-led, too far, too fast,” yet?
They all say it. It was a Campbell trick. Not just on message, but word for word on message. The Beeb should just record the first Labour drone and use the same tape whenever they need a quote.
I was on the Beeb at lunchtime and managed to quote the mantra.
Even I’m getting sick of it.
Poor old Bury…
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-13305738
Now that’s bad luck.
you got your second choice of voting reform… so is that still a win?.
” Wonder if I can get these seats recovered with yellow.
Paddy’s previous evening had started so well, as he treated Douglas Murray with contempt, had patronised him whilst oozing sanctimony, and had made Yasmin Alibai-Brown damp with excitement. He then wowed the audience with tales of derring do, killing enemy combatants with his bare hands and seeing his comrades die around him. All this delivered with his eyelids narrowed to mere slits, voice reduced to menacing sub-Churchillian growl. At any moment, one felt he might stab Murray in the throat. Truly, we were never so safe as when Paddy did our killing for us and then retired from active service to carry the standard of righteousness and liberal RECTITUDE in all things.
After that, however, he found that even the QT identikit leftwinger and grievance-merchant audience were reduced to pointing at him and giggling as he fabricated stories about his pivotal role in the creation of a coalition with the Tories and condemning Broon to opposition and oblivion. He tried to get back on track with more war stories and dying comrades, but it was too late. The magic had worn off, the fizz had left the bottle, the audience suddenly aware of a naked charlatan in front of them.
Suddenly, no one wanted to know Paddy any more.
i need to do a poo
Sums him up very well.
Any mention of his marital infidelity, hence his soubriquet, ‘Paddy Pantsdown’ ???
Paddy Ashdown fights off the crowds at the Lib Dem Local Councillor’s summit.
Fuck you Kinnock you crass, taffy prick
: “Official GuidoGov exit poll: #No2AV have absolutely kicked the arse of #Yes2AV”
Love simple polls
£50.00 an hour, £180.00 for all night jigajig, OK bigboy?
The ‘yes’ vote victory party was a little prematurely arranged mused paddy.
R5 right now.
“The Tories didn’t get the blame. You did. The Tories have done fine, you’ve done badly. You took a bullet for the Tories.”
Not really Peter.
The Tories said there were cuts coming BEFORE the election. Then made cuts.
Labour promised no cuts BEFORE the election, and even though they were lying, their message is consistent. No Cuts.
The Libs promised NO CUTS and NO TAXES and free everything before the election and so… well , its bleedin’ obvious.
No one likes a liar.
Just ask Blair.
“No one likes a liar.”
like call me dave?
“I wouldn’t change child benefit, I wouldn’t means test it, I don’t think that’s a good idea”
“Our plans involve cutting wasteful spending … our plans don’t involve an increase in VAT.”
“Ed Balls keeps saying that we are committed to scrapping EMA. I have never said this. We won’t.”
never mind anything he’s ever said about the EU, NHS or immigration
he’ll say anything to anybody in order to curry favour, slimy PR tossbag that he is
Quite so.
Maybe Peter Allen is right. People just hate Liberals.
Paddy agrees a quorum on one (with himself) to ensure he carries the whole party next time.
“Of one” even
Im sure Nick said the rally was here…..
Eccchh! Hope she douches before I get back!
A capacity crowd for The Wurzels reunion concert
‘You can pull your pants back up now’
Bollocks I,ve put the wrong date in my diary, I should be here tomorrow.
Dear Leader… no.
Dear Mr Clegg… no.
Dear Nick… no.
Er..
Oh Dear.
Paddy, surrounded by all his friends and supporters, and forgetting who the real enemy is, planning his next attack on the government.
I am a friend and supporter of Paddy. We all have to stick together now, or none of us will be troughing any more.