May 6th, 2011

Election Results

Going to stay up have a few drinks, watch the politicians make excuses and go to bed before the results are in.

Feel free to amuse yourself and mock the afflicted in the comments. Expect it to be a 1000 seat gain for Labour. Guido expects a very bad night for LibDems and moderately bad for Tories…

Only big bet Guido had was on the Tories coming second in the Leicester South by-election. Some dosh on the SNP giving Labour a kicking in Scotland. Will lose a few quid on the AV vote due to being a bit too clever and trying to buy a Yes bounce. It never came…


  1. 1
  2. 2
    no longer anonymous says:

    A victory for NO will wipe out any Tory displeasure at council election results.

  3. 3
    I Squiggle says:

    “Feel free to amuse yourself”. Ok, then I might catch some election coverage..

  4. 4
    Maddamar Quaddaffi says:

    I keeeeeeeeel them all !!

  5. 5
    ampersfa says:

    Guido will have a long stay if he doesn’t go to bed, they only begin counting tomorrow at 4pm.

  6. 6
    Ha says:

    Having been invited to mock the afflicted it would be a shame not to comment that Bowden is a tosser of the highes order

  7. 7
    Wesley says:

    “Expect it to be a 1000 seat gain for Labour”

    I would not be so sure about that.

    “Going to stay up have a few drinks, watch the politicians make excuses and go to bed before the results are in.”


    Their excuses make the best laughs

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:


  9. 9

    Paddy Ashdown has just been speaking to Clegg.

    “He looked a bit down – I’m a little sad and quite depressed, he said.
    So to cheer him up I pointed to the spare room and told him to “Hang in there, son.”

  10. 10
    Emily Maitlis the Tranny BBC Presenter says:

    Look at my big hands and my tranny like face isn’t it lovely, hey check out my slim hips too, so boy like don’t you think? Oh yes it’s such a give away when I point it all out don’t you all think?

    BTW I fucking love myself!

  11. 11
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    First result in Sunderland. No surprise, Tories -4, Lab +4.

    In other results, I managed to convince Mrs BWT and the neighbours to vote “No”.

    Very glad Guido turned off the auto-play on Guy News. Was getting irritating.

  12. 12
    Tron says:

    Paddy Ashdown was a pompous , self-satisfied , arrogant , prat on QT tonight. God, he loves the sound of his own voice. Same goes for YAB.
    Now Harriot Harperson is on the BBC.
    HELP !

  13. 13
    Iain Gray Brooning his pants says:

    Bang on the money Guido. Scottish Labour is expecting a good kicking. I am feart that the Tories may make positive gains. I am away to hide.

  14. 14
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    I voted No, with Yes as my second choice.

  15. 15
    E. lection says:

    Poll: Who is the most pompous twit?

    1. Paddy Ashdown

    2. David Mitchell

  16. 16
    Are you sure about this says:

    But he/she has NO Adams apple, well may be slightly but nothing considerable I’d say

  17. 17
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    No local election here in Wandsworth so not much to stay up for – in fact even when we have a local election the Tories have 53/4 of 60 council seats – a testimony to two decades of low council tax and relatively efficient administration.

    Just need to get that cnut Sadiq Khan out at the next election.

  18. 18
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Breaking from BBC
    the liverpool lib-dems could have lost 12 of their 13 seats on the council
    and lib-dems could have lost Stockport council !

  19. 19
    Joanna fucking lumley says:

    The Lib Dem cu’nts will now campaign for PR proper, given they & NeoLabour hold the dirty, degenerate British public in utter contempt.


  20. 20
    Jimmy says:

    I’ve always thought you were a hermaphrodite?

  21. 21
    Southern Softy says:

    Harpy and Simone Huge, and The Baronless Washi woman
    Time for bed.

  22. 22
    Local Scouser Luciana Berger says:

    I hear that Lib Dem Councillors in Liverpool are going down. They’ve stolen my methods!

  23. 23
    Dr Ayman al-Zawahiri says:

    Oh fuck me, Radio Five Labour have Jim Knocknees, and Aasmir Mir through the night.

    They are already wanking each off over the result from Labour’s benefits scrounging heartland Sunderland

  24. 24
    B-2 says:

    I’m guessing a Gayer in Stealth mode?

  25. 25
    They're all smug, sneering Celt cunts at the BBC, 'cept Kuenssbergs whom I wish to bum intensely says:

    Only in Britain could a state funded propaganda machine put two such blatant Labour sympathisers on air during an election show

    Where are your lot with the fucking lorry bombs son?

  26. 26
    Dr Nip & Tuck says:

    Chondrolaryngoplasty not being your strong point?

  27. 27
    They're all smug, sneering Celt cunts at the BBC, 'cept Kuenssbergs whom I wish to bum intensely says:

    Stockport should not have a council, it is a shitole inhabited by imbeciles

  28. 28
    The Rhondda's famous Chris Byrentboyo says:

    Bugger me I’m ok with it darling

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:


  30. 30
    Meat & 2 Veg says:

    The brown eye penetration is undeniable!

  31. 31
    Gooey Blob says:

    Watching Sky News’ coverage with a few beers. Labour apparently claiming that 400-600 seat gains would be a good night for them. I’m sat next to a Labour councillor right now, and if Ed doesn’t gain 1200 seats he won’t be party leader this time next year, apparently. What the 3 parties say in public and what they say behind closed doors are entirely different.

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Paddy being a buffoon is the rule of law he fought singlehandedly for when he freed Kosovo. Did he really have that call with Gordon, no wonder he turned them down.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Excellent..made me laugh out loud several times! :-)

  34. 34
    Simon Hughes says:

    And what’s wrong with that?

  35. 35
    I Squiggle says:

    Whooo!! Handycock on the beeb! What the flying feck is he wearing???

  36. 36
    Southern Softy says:

    I happen to know that he was in the pub when he claims to have been on the phone to Gordon.
    I know that, because he was telling me that he had singlehandedly fought the Fuzzy-Wuzzies and that they don’t like it up ‘em.
    Naturally I had to get the next round in because Paddy never carries cash.

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    I’m just happy that Handycock got a look in so early on

  38. 38
    Michael Handcock says:

    Your too old for me sweetheart

  39. 39
    Southern Softy says:

    My first choice is 1. and my second choice is 2,
    but I can’t quite make my mind up.
    Can I get a recount, or have the polls closed now.

  40. 40
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Hang em! ASAP.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Mike Hancock on BBC looks like hes halfway through ripping his clothes off, you can hear Caroline Flint laughing in the studio. Waht a mess.

  42. 42

    Guido, Your mate Hancock has just been on the Beeb coverage he looks fucking bladdered! & ruff as a bears arse too! what a tool the man is!

  43. 43
    AC1 says: is the one for me. Saw her running the Marathon, FIT (in both meanings of the word).

  44. 44
    Half hour says:

    LOL, the dirty fucking pedo!

  45. 45
    AC1 says:

    +1 Used to live there.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Probably interviewing his next intern

  47. 47
    Jimmy says:

    Careful AC1, I’ve had my suspicions about him for a long time.

  48. 48
  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    As much as I’d spunk in her throat given half a chance I think I’d struggle to do so for all the shit coming in the other direction.

    Too much?

  50. 50
    Catherine Flint says:

    Just look at my glistening pussy, it’s dripping and you know you wanna!

  51. 51
    GF's Mod says:

    Yes we’ve read that from you for the 76th time.

    Thank you, now fuck off!

  52. 52
    the moneyshot says:

    SNP hammering labour in scotland

    libdems bloodbath

  53. 53
    Splooge says:

    Currently enjoying a jolly decent Bordeaux…

    …and ZaNuLabia’s appalling results north of the border


  54. 54
    Well done the Jocks says:

    And Labour’s disintegration in Scotland will give everyone (except the Ed Miller Band) great heart

  55. 55
    Splooge says:

    F**k me!

    That Arse-mah Mir bint doesn’t bother to hide her Labour bias, does she?

  56. 56
    Bowden is a wanker says:


  57. 57
    Bowden is a wanker says:

    Let me guess – you made the first comment, and it was inane. You are a tosser.

  58. 58
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Nope. My feelings exactly.

  59. 59
    Rat's arse says:

    I hope & pray Mctw@t loses his seat in Kirkaldy, but doubt it as the electorate up there seem as thick as pig shite.
    However, whoooopeee, that cret@nous b@stard McCabe [his sinus problems need Dyn@rod to clear them] has lost his seat.

  60. 60
    Primrose Hill Marxist says:

    Pretend that you’re bumming her. Problem solved.

  61. 61
    Guido fawkes says:

    Guess if you happy to take money from the NO to AV campaign advertising (biggest polictical funding) …. why not hedge your bets and bet for a YES bounce… ?

    Guido – you olde hedge-manager-type person


  62. 62
    Ivan Agenda says:

    Toady Programme is this morning blathering on about Labour making big grounds in Wales and Lib Dems big defeats in the north.
    They state Salmond likely to win big in Scotland, and sote voce whisper of Labour losses in Scotland BUT ALSO for Lib Dem and Conservative.
    I think we should all get Patten’s email address and cc him every time we complain about BBC loony left wing bias.
    He will soon get fed up with the deluge of emails.

  63. 63
    MB. says:

    I was going to watch some of the coverage then Jeremy Vine came on so I went to bed. When will the BBC drop him from their election programmes?

  64. 64
    SNP for me. says:

    McTwat is not standing to be an MSP.


  65. 65
    Hang 'em all says:

    Good idea, Ivan. Chris Honkers was saying the other day that BBC needs to spend big in order to attract major talent. I suppose he means people such as Wossy (almost wrote people like Wossy, but that’s not true). WTF was Dave thinking? Surely he can’t – gasp – not be a Conservative?

  66. 66
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at Clegg’s predicament.

    Desperate for power, any power, but not really thinking about what he’d do with it.

    Out of his depth, and soon, out of goverment.

  67. 67
    Julian gardner says:

    Nagga Munchety is the one for me.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    I misread it as: “Feel free to amuse yourself and mock the afflicted in the Commons.”

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    “Expect it to be a 1000 seat gain for Labour.” – Not even close.

    “Guido expects a very bad night for LibDems” – And I expect a bear to shit in the woods.

    “and moderately bad for Tories…” – Nope!

    I’m not laughing at you, Guido – No, honestly, I’m not.

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