May 6th, 2011

Clegg Gets a Spanking
Salmond Leaps

The local government campaigning experts the LibDems have lost every councillor in Manchester, control of Sheffield, and the decapitation of their council leaders across the north. They are 340 councillors down, with less than half of counts having declared. Labour are crowing abut gains in places they were already strong. Cleggy got a spanking and the first call for his resignation has come, yet the Tory vote seems to be holding.

North of the border the Sun will be claiming they won it, as Alex Salmond has come from behind in the polls to humiliate Miliband in his heartlands. With the SNP on course for a majority win, Scotland are an inch closer to having to work out how to fund their own bloated welfare state. If Miliband can’t win here, it’s bad news for him. Scottish Labour are in turmoil this morning and apparently raging at the simple assumption that the disillusioned LibDems would come flocking to Red Ed. Iain Gray, the Scottish leader, came within a hairs breadth of a scalping.

The AV result out at 9pm tonight is rumoured to be hammering for Yes.


  1. 1
    man getting ready to perch on a barstool says:

    just got in. Landlord left the door open…now what’s this voting business all about?

    • 6
      Labour says:

      The Lib Dem vote collapsed! That’s all you need to know.

      • 64
        The BBC says:


        • 195
          David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

          Gordon McClegg will increase his intake of fags as the pressure grows to get rid of him. He has firmly taken over the mantle from McBoom.

          Perhaps he should not be surprised when he says:No more broken promises” then breaks promises he did not have to as they were in the coalition agreement ie tuition fees. The man is a liar because he wants power more than keeping his promises and the Lie Dems are prepared to compromise their core values to be in government.

          Wake up Clegg your days are numbered unless you start to act like a leader: Investigate Laws for his fiddling- you were going to clean up politics after all, reduce the number of Lords not increase them- you were going to do this as well.

          Then you might want to align yourself with public opinion and do something about immigration, reduce our contributions to Europe (our contributions are higher than the cuts being made), you are against wars, so get out of Afghanistan, Libya and Iraq- the UK simply should not be there. You should not praise Obama for assassinating bin Laden instead of our civilised views about the rule of law, trial and punishment.

          What did America ever do to support the UK to fight Irish terrorism? Particularly what about the IRA when there were raising money in the US and the US harbouring IRA terrorists?? British citizens were mutilated in the same grizzly horrid way as the deaths from the twin towers. Why should our loss be any less than theirs? American bully boy foreign policy with a big smattering of hypocrisy.

          I don’t think it liberal to support or praise torture and assassination however wicked the person is. Nazis were put on trial after the war and some of their atrocities were far worse.

          Nick, you are not competent at your job, time to go old son. You have been found to be totally inept.

          • Huhne the Hoon says:

            Yes, it’s very definitiely “time to go old son”. If you don’t I’ll set my solicitor on you.

          • Postlethwaite says:

            David Laws Lib Dem fiddler comments


            Now for the rest of the parties?

    • 16
      Scotch Mist says:

      “Scotland are an inch closer to funding their own welfare state. “

      How do you work that out? Can’t see how a country that depends on Haggis, Harris Tweed and super strength sales, can possibly fund its own welfare,

      • 28
        Alex Salmond says:

        Unlike Ireland, Greece, Iceland, Portugal and Spain, we would have banked RBS’ taxes during the boom years and coasted through the recession.

        We Scots are prudent.

        • 57
          Gordon Bumsniffer says:

          Bit of a sweeping statement, can you think of any exceptions? Not that i can of course.

          Nurse, my butt plug has fallen out again, and I want to go back on my rocking horse. Wibble.

        • 289
          Cynical Old Man says:

          Scots are a bit boneheaded, though. Although I’m glad Salmond and his party have given Labour a bashing in the polls, I can’t help wondering why someone who wants Scotland to be an independent state wants to part of the E.U.

          Surely, as we’ve seen with Britain’s membership, the Scots will be contolled by Brussels. So the SNP want to gain independence from the U.K. only to give it away again to something far more authoritarian and undemocratic.

          Doesn’t make sense. Has anyone ever asked Salmond about this lack of logic in his thinking?

          • robbie says:

            In case you hadn’t noticed we’ve been in the EEC/European Union for 38 years. Keep up .

      • 54
        lola says:

        Scotland are an inch closer to having to work out how to fund their own bloated welfare state

        By making ‘England Pay for all the wrong they done to us’ will be claim No 1. When that goes wrong…?

        • 107
          A time-traveller from the 33rd Century says:

          Oh, that never went wrong. Scotland started crying “It was all England’s fault” from day one of independence in 2016 (a cry that grew louder after Scotland’s bankruptcy 12 months later.) So far, they haven’t stopped.

        • 173
          Anonymous says:

          Nah, they are going to get independence and a Barnett formula share of the state debt.

          • 70% of the population on the public payroll is too much says:

            I am English but my family originate from Scotland and my relatives who still live there speak gaelic as their first language.

            Let’s get this over with now. UK referendum on whether Scotland should stay in the union. Both sides are binding; so if Scotland wants to go, they can. And the English can decide whether they have had enough of the whingeing too so whichever way the Jocks vote, if England says tata, we start putting up the border posts.

            I am told by a Scottish friend that they informed view (in Scotland) is that Scotland will stand on its own feet. This is based on 1) Salmond being an economist (but so was wee Gordy!), 2) the revenues from oil would be enormous (apparently we have been stealing it from them), and, 3) (I love this one), if small nations like Ireland and Portugal are bailed out by the EU, Scotland would be too if (when) it screwed up (by which time England (hopefully) would be well out of that little club).

        • 227
          Lee Jon Ayres (dec'd) says:

          Not to mention a definitive answer to the dangling Lothian Question.

          • robbie says:

            “Gordy” was never an economist- he was an academic historian who then went into media (briefly) and then into mainstream politics- your logic has at least to get its facts right.

        • 317
          Wayne Ker says:

          Give us our oil money back and we’ll gladly leave you. We’ve been paying you English tossers for years.

          • Rufus T. Firefly says:

            Main occupations in Scotland: haggis herding, lying in a drunken stupor at 8am and deep fried Mars Bar Production. Bye-Bye tossers

      • 60
        Anonymous says:

        Doubtless because Life Expectancy is so much lower in his haven of peace, tranquility, sobriety and fine diet.

        It would not be a surprise to fiind there is a far lower rate of asylum seekers and immigrants fighting their way to the front of the hospital and benefit queues.

      • 272
        Anonymous says:

        You forget all that lovely oil, coal and renewable energy. All you foam-flecked rightists like Norway for keeping its fish out of the EU but not that it’s socialist, is the best place to live on the planet (UN) has the same population as Scotland and has invested its oil money in the country rather than pissing it into the pockets of its leeching neighbours.

      • 306
        Sir Barrington Minge says:

        Alex Smarmond is a nasty, greasy, fat little Scotsman (rather like Alex Furgason come to think of it). Let the Scots have independence and see how long they survive without English money.
        …and then tell’em to fuck off!!!

      • 316
        man perch on a barstool says:

        re. funding itself…like wales the strategy was to get EU to fund Scotland…

    • 39
      My dad voted labour so I always do as I haven't got a brain. says:

      All I want is my welfare money, its my right.

    • 86
      Anonymous says:

      Scots are inching towards independence, if they go even the UN permanent seat in the security council will go plus north sea, etc. Hope Tories are happy about this!

      • 109
        Reds Under the Bed says:

        Scottish independence is never going to happen for the simple reason that a referendum vote would be unconstitutional if only the Scots could vote in it.

        The English, Welsh and Northern Irish MUST get a say in whether we want the union to be broken up.

        • 138
          FGAU says:

          Can you provide a source on that claim? Some piece of legislation perhaps? Or maybe some obstruse constitutional code that the chairs of public law have forgotten about?

          A source would be good. Very, very good. Without a source, we have to assume that you’re just pointlessly flapping your gums.

          And we wouldn’t want that. Would we?

        • 160
          Anonymous says:

          It will be decided by Scots and Scots alone, once they vote for independence we are occupying them.

          • Archer Karcher says:

            Good we can repatriate the millions of jocks living down here ‘back home’.

        • 276
          Logan says:

          I do not know if there is a constitutional impediment or not, but for a tiny, insignificant minority of the UK population to unilaterally destroy the whole union by themselves? It is NOT democratic.

          Just for the sake of equality and fairness, it should be UK wide referendum, as it does affect the entire UK.

          Funny thing is, the lefty bastards have no interest in fairness or equality if they do not benefit from it.

        • 321
          robbie says:

          That will happen after Independence or of its own accord.

      • 110
        jgm2 says:

        I have no doubt England will struggle through somehow.

      • 112
        An amateur brain surgeon says:

        By international treaty, North Sea oil is shared between all countries with a North Sea coastline. Which includes England.

        • 142
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          What makes me titter is the idea that Shetland and orkneys could declare independence from Scotland, and get the revenue.

          • Labours Apocalypse Now ! says:

            i love the small of chippy Englanders in the morning

          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            You identify yourself under numerous pseudonyms by using the word chippy.

            But its a laugh. You could see them with big banners saying “We don’t remember 1314″.

          • jgm2 says:

            Oh no, please don’t leave us Scotland. How will we manage without you?


            Yeah. Right.

            Same as England struggled on this last ninety years without (most of) Ireland I would say.

            Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.

          • smoggie says:

            One in four scotch people are employed by the government. I think the other three are on benefits or are students.

          • English wankers says:

            Chippy chippy chippy chippy LOL

          • robbie says:

            They already do

    • 143
      Logan says:

      Peston being a twat again:

      0839 From Twitter – BBC Business editor Robert Peston – @peston – “If SNP has clear mandate in Scotland, and Labour has one in Wales, what authority will Westminster coalition have in those countries?”

      How about the authority that comes from it being a UNITED KINGDOM Government in which the majority of voters voted for one or other of the coalition partners. A 59.1% of the electorate voted for one of the parties in the coalition.

      And this means that the people of the UK voted for them to have a mandate for the whole of the UK.

      Funny how you never heard the BBC saying that the labour government had no mandate to govern Richmond because the voters of Richmond didn’t vote labour!

      • 163
        Anonymous says:

        LD doesn’t count, its was based on lies.

      • 246
        tell it like it really is says:

        Most perplexing – the Aljabeeb news are saying how awful it is for our Dave yet figures confirmed, up to present, show Conservataive gains, how can this be? Oh yes, of course, in bbc land the truth has no bearing on the reporting. ‘Nuf said.

        • 277
          Logan says:

          last night as the election coverage began, they showed the historic council election results going back to the mid 1990s

          It was the first time that I have heard the BBC admit that the tories had a very good night and won massively in 1997 (the last time these seats were contested), but it was also to set the context as to why the tories were going to lose between 800 and 1200 seats.

          They were riding very high in the polls the last time these seats were contested, and appear from results in so far, that they are even higher in the polls now!

  2. 2
    Nick Clegg's Right Foot says:

    It could be worse….. I’m a lib dem I enjoy a spanking!

  3. 3
    Trinny says:


  4. 4
    Ed Balls, financial genius says:

    This is superb news, the Labour party almost won in Scotland, and came a good second in the AV referendum vote

    Great work guys, thanks for your help pounding those streets.

    These results are a resounding success for the new dream team of me and the Marxist J’oo

    • 7
      The Rhondda's famous Chris Byrentboyo says:

      Bugger me, the Scotchists are fucking crazy boyo.

      Bugger me, how the fuck are they going to pay for the welfare heartlands around the Clyde, and Edinburgh boyo?

      Bugger me, how are they going to fund free uni education, free prescriptions, the massive road programme etc etc without those English scum paying the bills???

      Bugger me this is seismic boyo!!!!!!!

    • 10
      Ed Milliband says:

      Comrades, our fightback begins in Scothland..sniff

      • 20
        John Curtice: The psephologist's guru of gurus says:

        So you lost in your scrounger’s heartland, and on AV.

        As a top psephologist i would claim you are a c’uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt


        • 51
          The cunt of Monte Cristo says:

          To do well in Scotland, a political party must offer vast sums of cash to fund the degenerate lifestyles of the delightful people who colonise its large urban areas.

          Hard working English people urgently need the Celts to get independence, then they can fund themselves in an arc of prosperity stretching from Iceland to Norway.

          • Grammar School Boy says:

            Don’t think of it as independence for Scotchland – more as independence for England from them.

            Would we, in England, also lose the benefit of all the sJockanese Labour MPs?

          • Cosdwallop says:

            Now there’s a happy thought.

    • 29
      Glaswegian of Pakistani origin, Aasmah Mir of BBC Five Live says:

      Yes a great result for the magnificent Labour Party, go Labour!

  5. 5
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Ed Miliband spanking his monkey, thinks the election result means anything. Talking about “This proves the cuts are too fast too deep”, and how good Labour is – despite it being Labour that racked up the record breaking £4Trillion deficit in the first place.

    Even during the night’s TV coverage, Labour could not bring themselves to say THEY racked up the economic mess, talking about the deficit as if it was someone else’s fault.

  6. 8
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Quel Supris !

  7. 9
    Martin Day's goldfish says:

    I hate salmon.

    • 43
      Dick the Prick says:

      I’m not sure Kuennesberg isn’t a proper freaky looking bird so err… that is all.

  8. 11
    Steve Miliband says:

    The Salmond National Party take control of Scotland.

    • 284
      English wankers says:

      Remind me who did the English return in last nights Council Elections ?

  9. 12
    Only A Fool Likes A London Rule says:

    “Scotland are an inch closer to funding their own welfare state” ha ha very funny Guido, Scotland has still not reached the pinnacle of the heavyweight financial status of your bankrupt Kingdom of Eire – and once the Oil and Gas revenues come in well we might send you some potato seeds to re start your economy ho ho.

    As Alex Salmon said Labour in Scotland are like Bison you might see the odd one around but the huge herds are gone forever.

    • 119
      jgm2 says:

      There are odd bison wandering around Scotland?

    • 221
      Bled White Taxpayer says:

      Apart from the fact that Scotland would never be allowed to retain 100% of the oil revenues in the event of independence, has the SNP budget calculation worked out how Scotland is going to pay for the benefits culture after the oil has run out in about 10 years? Or how to support the proportion of the UK’s national debt that Scotland would be gifted?

      Haggis production and tourism isn’t going to keep most of the Central Belt on bennies forever.

      • 311
        jgm2 says:

        Or how to support the proportion of the UK’s national debt that Scotland would be gifted?

        Don’t bet on it. Dave will just write it off. Salmond will claim that since it wasn’t Scotland who borrowed all that money (it was the UK you see) then why should Scotland have to pay it back. At which point the ace negotiating team of Cameron will just say ‘okay’ 1,000 billion or 1,100 bn what’s the difference?

      • 324
        robbie says:

        when you lot run out of drinkable water, we’ll sell you some of our inexhaustible supply at $100 a barrel

    • 361
      Rufus T. Firefly says:

      Most of the local wildlife (oops sorry population) can be observed at watering holes (known as Boozers) or at “The Bru” where they search for food and money

  10. 13
    Simon says:

    YES to Independence for Scotland now!

    England can be a Conservative country forever !

    • 23
      nell says:

      Here’s to the end of the barnett formula – scotland to live off its own income, finally.

      Can’t come soon enough!

      • 34
        Nell is Guido says:

        Listen to Nell speaking from the economic dynamo of East Anglia. The part of the UK who’s major export is false climate change data.

        • 123
          A climatologist, pootling to work in his chauffeur-driven Bentley, says:

          There’s a lot of money to be made in false climate-change data.

        • 154
          nell says:

          Wasn’t militwit the chiefminister of lies about climatechange under gordon?

      • 61
        David MacGille-Mhuire says:

        No problemo for it’ll soon be ta ta to you from the Jocks, Paddies and Taffies; and don’t you spongeing fcuks dare come scrounging when the cupboard of your Exchequer is as bare as your Morris shoogling arses: Stand on your own collective two feet for an historical change. Lift your knuckles off the ground; put your digits in your own moth-eaten wallets and buy your own gin as another historical first.

        Slainte or bottomed-up and imminently sinking in fine Nelsonian fashion – I salute you all from our mutually vanishing horizons

        Admiral Jock MacFuck

        • 126
          An amateur brain surgeon with a hammer says:

          I think I can possibly cure you.

          • FGAU says:

            You’re too optimistic. Like most of his brethren here, he’s far past the point where cure is an option.

      • 325
        robbie says:

        careful what you wish for

    • 45
      Dick the Prick says:

      Bet the fucking English don’t get a vote on it

  11. 14
    Two Eds cause Labour pains! says:

    Cameron is the big winner from yesterday.
    Labour crushed in their Scottish heartlands – who would have thunk it?
    Next step independence and hey presto – no more Labour misrule!

    • 82
      smoggie says:

      Independence is way down the list of priorities for the simple reason they don’t want it. Labour’s heartland is the North of England sandwiched between the conservative South and the land of the Tartan Tories.

      • 152
        Alex says:

        Cameron won an overall majority in England last May – if you ask me that makes scotland pretty essential to Labour’s capability to form a government.

        • 167
          smoggie says:

          Assuming people vote exactly the same way next time.

        • 283
          English wankers says:

          Have you actually been following the Scottish election results !!!!
          The Scots have rejected Labour more comprehensively than the English did.

  12. 15
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Andy Burnham on every feckin programme on every channel
    this guy is now being put forward the face of the labour party
    this means that the labour party top brass see little Ed Really Bland as a no hoper
    while Ed is tucked up in bed Burnham is all over the media like a fuckin rash !

    • 25
      All scotch are gayers says:

      Tis a bit odd as his brief is Education, not local government. He must have been up all night since the BBC gave him a free hand on QT.

      • 37
        England shits itslf says:

        Looks like the snp result has made many Englanders chippy and nervous this morning

        • 59
          SCOTT CHATER says:

          Chippy and nervous
          how about chuffed as fuck ?
          it might get the dopey twats to vote for independence and fuck off and leave us alone !

          • robbie says:

            I’m sure you’d miss us really- but you can always visit us on your reduced GDP income and still claim you went abroad for your holibags- and you’ll be given a warm welcome…assuming you don’t arrive after 6.30 at night cos we’ll assume you’ll have had your tea.:-)

        • 68
          Stan Butler says:

          Au contraire! Many Englanders are delighted at the prospect of the removal of the single largest tax burden from them. I’m angling for Salmond.
          Oil revenue £13bn
          Subsidy to Scotland £22bn
          Can’t wait.

        • 69
          A Calm Dispassionate Englishman says:


        • 77
          Dick the Prick says:

          The Jocks will vote no, though.

          • Hugh Janus says:

            “The Jocks will vote no, though.”

            That would be a shame since independence would, at long last, solve the West Lothian Question, something that Call Me Dave does not appear to have even heard of, never mind do anything about.

        • 101
          Two Eds cause Labour pains! says:

          Au contraire – England expects Scottish independence and welcomes it!

          • jgm2 says:

            Looks like our departure was timed to perfection.

            The writing was on the wall back in 2003. S&P and Labour just engaged in a competition to promise ever more free stuff funded by magic money.

            Time to leave I said. There’s no future here. I don’t want my kids getting Scottish qualifications that steer them to Scottish universities where they’ll meet some fucker whose family haven’t got the wit or ambition to leave. I’m not fucking spending the rest of my life in this shithole.
            The amazing thing is that there’s anybody at all left in the fucking awful place. Apart from the oil-rich of Aberdeen – and even then I’d expect it to be occupied like some remote desert camp. A month on, a month off and then back to civilisation.

          • MR & Mrs Middleton says:

            You are so wise jgm2 can’t have your English sprogs going to a Scottish University like errrr St Andrews as you never know who they might get hitched to ,,,LOL

          • jgm2 says:

            Goodness, what a lucky chance that was. Her just happening to go to the same university and on the same course. And then just happening to do a fashion show in her knickers in front of the future king.


            You’ll need to make everybody King of Scotland like Idi Amin to entice any more girls up there. And even then they’ll move back home.

        • 130
          England Expects says:

          Nervous that the Scots might bottle the independence vote.

          Come on. You want it, you really really do. Not nearly as much as England wants it, but..

          • robbie says:

            No I really don’t think anyone in England wants it as much as we do-which explains why your civil service have spent the last 50 years tyring to stop what happened yesterday

          • Anonymous says:

            Yes, but the civil service is well known to be composed of traitors doing everything possible to destroy England.

    • 121
      jgm2 says:

      Andy Burnham gets the TV exposure because they don’t have to waste time putting on any make-up for the cameras with him.

      • 220
        MrAngry61 says:

        They must think that he’s less tainted by the last government than other MPs – hoping that we won’t remember Staffordshire Mid Gen Hospital scandal that he ignored whilst Health Secretary.

    • 250
      tell it like it really is says:

      Not wishing to say I told you before but I did say several months ago that IMO Burnham was positioning himself for a tilt at the Liebour leadership. Just sayin’.

  13. 17
    nell says:

    Scotland has outgrown the labour party – so says salmond – and the labour heartlands are gone forever, no more herds of labour bison.

    I think I’m beginning like salmond , as long as he stays north of the border.

    • 27
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      I’m not convinced that Labour->SNP is a growth in maturity.
      A nationalist safety blanket and everything’s going to be alright when we get rid of those english bastards. ah.

      Oh, and of endangered species, I just heard a scottish tory on the radio 5 minutes ago. But like the galapagos tortoise, probably too old to breed now.

    • 33
      Steve Miliband says:

      The vote was for Salmond not for Independence. Compare with Wales where the Labour vote is holding up. The Scottish labour leader, Mr…err went to the Ed Miliband school of charisma.
      Voting for Independence is another matter.

      • 44
        Paragnostic your countrymen rolled over for Labour yet again says:

        Looks like The Paragnostic and his Welsh brethren still can’t free themselves from Labours stranglehold. No wonder he uses the Scots as a smokescreen for his nations stupidity.

    • 40
      What have the East Anglians ever done for us says:

      Nell just keep churning out those false climate change figures will you

      • 118
        nell says:

        Let’s not forget that the false climate change statistics out there come from jones of the uea, pachauri the train driver and militwit who, of course, was climate change lies minister par excellence under gordon.

        • 145
          nell says:


          Why is guido stopping comments against j+Ones oftheuea and oldpac+ha+uri?

          • Samuel Pypes says:

            I had the same problem back in the 17th century, it took them 200 years to decipher my diary.

          • Sir William Waad says:

            And they still spelt your name wrong, it seems.

  14. 18
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Rebuild Hadrians wall and take away their subsidies, soon find out who’s boss.

    • 31
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Searching the page for the word “Oil” comes up with nothing. surely a mistake.

    • 257
      tell it like it really is says:

      When building the wall the Romans referred to the Scots, in Latin, as homunculus scrotes or something didn’t they?

      • 328
        robbie says:

        and what kind of wall did you build to keep out the French? never mind watching your neck – mind yer a*se.

    • 362
      Rufus T. Firefly says:

      The real purpose of the Wall was to keep us Geordies after a Friday night on the piss. Otherwise it was up the A1 and give the Jocks a good hiding, steal their cattle and ravish their women (well maybe not so much of the latter to be truthful)

  15. 19
    juggernaut says:

    Who cares how it comes! Scotland ruled the UK for twelve years and left it a fucking basket case. I look forward to an independent England.

    • 48
      Van Rumpy Pumpy says:

      You think ?

      • 65
        juggernaut says:

        Van R P

        Yes, every now and I allow the brain a little exercise. England has been bowing, scraping and of course apologising to the Irish Scots and Welsh for centuries. Its cost the English a fortune including the best jobs turfed out to the otherwise unemployable nether worlds. I look forward to the lingering death of the labour party and the rising of English Independence.

    • 164
      FGAU says:

      The number of Labour MPs elected in England in 1997, 2001 and 2005 is multiple times the number elected in Scotland. Labour was led by Tony Blair, an English MP representing an English constituency and who repeatedly parsed the word “England” to mean “the UK”. This is a clear sign that Scotland ruled England. Yes, indeed.

      Brown was elected leader of the Labour Party with a majority of votes from English party members. This too is proof that the Scots ruled England.

      The constant complaints about Scots voting on English matters which do not affect their constituencies ignore the fact that for three hundred years English MPs have been able to vote on exclusively Scottish matters and have done so with aplomb. This too is proof that the Eevul Skottish Konspiracy rules over England.

      If Scotland does become independent (not an outcome I would wish for, as a unionist), who will you people blame for your problems next? The Welsh? The Belgians? The Jews? Do you ever think that maybe, just maybe, if you spent more time trying to engage with the serious issues underlying electoral politics in this country and less screeching about that the Eevul Forriners Iz Tryin 2 Steel My Floowids then maybe the Conservative Party in the UK wouldn’t be in perpetual danger of losing to Labour – the same Labour, I might add, that the English so happily embraced during the Blair years?

      • 224
        MrAngry61 says:

        Labour in Scochland & Labour here – buying votes with other peoples’ money.

        I’ve yet to see any indication that the SNP won’t bribe Scots voters with money provided from English subsidies.

      • 235
        Postlethwaite says:

        Bliar an english mp? Your source?

        He may have represented sludgefield but was born 6 May 1953 Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (formerly GB).

  16. 21
    Barry says:

    Tory vote and Councillors holding up well in the south of England.
    If Scotland has a referendum on splitting from England, should not we have a vote on it too? There are two parties to marrage and divorce, and both should have their say.
    England would vote overwhelmingly for a divorce from Scotland.

    • 267
      HMRC's Bleeding Stone says:

      The answer is even easier, as I’ve said before on here.

      The SNP want “independence within the EU” (poor deluded souls, they can dream). Many of us want independence from the EU. The country that is a member of the EU is the United Kingdom.

      Hold a referendum for England to leave the United Kingdom. Move the UK capital to Edinburgh and let the remnants see if they can survive. It gets even better because we don’t even give them a choice – no more than they’ll give us a vote.

      England is free of Brussels and Scotland is free of us evil types south of the border.

      Who sees a downside?

  17. 22
    Only A Fool Likes A London Rule says:

    It is going to be orgasmic watching the coming English Civil War as Engerlund gradually breaks up in the next decade.

    Home Counties will be Tory, Liverpool Manchester Sunderland Geordie Land will be Labour with the Midlands being either Shia or Sunni – the folks in Devon or Cornwall they all look the same anyway will hopefully get indeepndence and then viola no more England EU happy ex Commonwealth happy Obama happy.

  18. 24
    busted nokia says:

    pantsdown on R5 and it sounds so embarrassing saying he thought Cameron played dirty – sounds like positioning for a failed AV ref.

    • 120
      Hugh Janus says:

      Poor old Pantsdown, what a sanctimonious James Blunt he is. The Limp Dums are experts in dirty electioneering. Pot and kettle.

    • 287
      Anonymous says:

      Pants down on QT last night was a pompous puffed up arsehole. This from the man who lied and cheated on his wife.

  19. 26
    the last quango in paris says:

    COme on Scotland – show us how to do it – pay free prescriptions, free (and better) education, free OAP care, pay for thousands and more council houses etc… all on your own – if you can do that you really have a lesson for us all.

    • 46
      Steve Miliband says:

      Easy – get your neighbour to pay for it

    • 52
      English wankers says:

      Chippy this morning are we ?

      • 66
        Engineer says:

        Realistic. If anybody called Salmond’s bluff and demanded independence now, he’d run a mile. Even with oil revenues (which aren’t sustainable; they are gradually reducing now, and they’d only last a decade or so at best) it’s pretty unlikely that Scotland could sustain itself in the manner it currently enjoys. I don’t say that as a Scots-hater, I’m not in that camp. It’s just pragmatism based on facts.

        • 291
          Anonymous says:

          I actually agree with you Engineer, I just wonder what the agenda is of those who are spewing their vile bigotry all over this place this morning , desperate for Scotland to leave the Union the morning after we comprehensively rejected Labour. Do you think the fact that this blog is run by a pretendy Irishman who has declared his desire for England to formally return to The Roman Fold is purely coincidental?

        • 331
          robbie says:

          What would he run from ? Nothing. England has virtually nothing to offer-by all means keep your notional allocations of defence expenditure in SE England. We won’t miss them at all-promise.

      • 103
        ST says:

        Guess again, I’m quite looking forward to wishing Scotland ta ta.

  20. 30
    He's Spartacus says:

    “Scotland are an inch closer to having to work out how to fund their own bloated welfare state.”

    Think of the savings in Methadone alone.

  21. 32
    Scotch Beef says:

    One of life’s great mysteries is why do scotch men wear skirts in a land plagued by flesh eating midges.

    • 53
      Engineer says:

      They’re protected by the Harris Tweed underpants.

    • 56
      ???? says:

      I have never been bothered by midges in Scotland ; I have never suffered from a single midge or insect bite despite being in swarms of the little so and so’s but they I agree they are bloody annoying little fuckers even if they refuse to bite me

      • 76
        Citronella says:

        Do you stink of crushed Garlic?

      • 149
        An amateur brain surgeon says:

        I’ve been to Scotland many times – right up in the Highlands – and I’ve never seen a midge. I think you’re more likely to see the Loch Ness Monster.

    • 332
      robbie says:

      its not genreally plagued. By all means get bitten once you holiday in the West from May onwards. But I have to tell you all that have purchased a timeshare on Arran between then and August- you should have bought early-mid April. Nae midges and nae rain.

  22. 35
    Raving Loon says:

    Scotland will fund its welfare state by getting EU handouts paid for by the wealth producing parts of England (home counties, the City etc).

    • 42
      Scotch aid says:

      So instead of just giving them the money directly, we are going to have to give the EU a cut on route?

      • 134
        jgm2 says:

        Yep. It’s S&P policy.

        We don’t want to be ruled from London. We want to be ruled from Brussels. Twats.

        • 159
          Salmond's Bluff says:

          I recall that the S&P went to Brussels about 10 years ago to sound-out the prospect for EU funding for Scotland (in lieu of the cash it gets from England) in the event of independence, and Brussels told them to fuck off.

          • FGAU says:

            Source? Oh, I see. You don’t have a source because you’re just making things up.

          • Postlethwaite says:

            Asking for a source is tradition on this site.

            When source is produced, the response is generally
            ”that’s a load of bollocks” – it means too intellectual

  23. 36
    Only A Fool Likes A London Rule says:

    Try walking around Moss Side, Toxteth, Brixton, Tower Hamlets, Bradford, St Marys in Bristol Scotland has nothing to match such deprivation and despair.

    God even in Wandsworth and Clapham there are slums of public housing the police wont enter Englands problems are wide and deep and getting worse as the city boys move to Hong Kong and Switzerland – still blame Scotland eh thats what you’ve done for a few hundred years.

    Rejoice Rejoice Rejoice Rejoice

    • 73
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Sounds unbelievably, blindly, optimistic about parts of central scotland.

      Bradford? Very broad brush there. some parts of it are rather nice and suburban …. even downright rural.

      PS: you have of course missed out on my least favourite part of England.

      • 292
        Anonymous says:

        Whereas Scotland is one great big sink estate with no nice or rural areas? God you are well named sock puppet you ignorant twat !

        • 300
          jgm2 says:

          There are plenty of rural areas in Scotland. They’re the bits with no Scottish people in them. The weather’s still shite though. Fucking awful place.

          I’d rather die in England than live in Scotland.

    • 137
      jgm2 says:

      still blame Scotland eh thats what you’ve done for a few hundred years.


      I see what you did there.

    • 297
      Cynical Old Man says:

      All those areas of deprivation Only A Fool…. mentions are Labour strongholds. How long have Labour held power in these areas? Since time immemorial and just look what wonders they have achieved enhancing the quality of life for its constituents – NOT!

      It proves that Labour do NOT want to improve the lives of its supporters for political reasons. They actually create cesspits of deprivation and hopelessness in order to perpetuate the sense of grievance and entitlement that gives Labour their powerbase.

      • 303
        Anonymous says:

        And it proves that the enemy is Socialism NOT nationality. To many ignorant fools on here doing the enemies work.

    • 365
      Rufus T. Firefly says:

      Ever walked round Shettleston? Makes Kabul seem civilised. My ex lived on Wellshot Road Shettleston and that’s what we should be. Well shot of them. Lets see them try to scrounge from the EU. For non- Glasgow residents, I am referring to the East End of that fair?? city

  24. 38
    Mark Oaten says:

    “Clegg Gets a Spanking

    Lucky sod

  25. 47
    Andrew Efiong says:

    A crushing blow for Clegg and Miliband.

    Eat it, losers.

    • 58
      ISeeYouJimmy says:

      And where are the Conservatives?

      • 63
        SCOTT CHATER says:

        Over all in England, 4 seats better off !

      • 67
        Andrew Efiong says:

        Enjoying themselves safe in the knowledge that the country quietly backs their informed policies.

        Just wait for the AV referendum, another devastating blow for Clegg and Miliband is on the cards. These two could go down to one of the largest losing margins ever seen in a democracy.

    • 71
      mark oaten says:

      I already have *licks lips*

  26. 49
    Only A Fool Likes A London Rule says:

    George Galloway also stuffed in Glasgow – shurely shome mishtake

    • 139
      jgm2 says:


    • 166
      Keep the doors locked, don't stop at red lights, says:

      I thought everyone gets stuffed in Glasgee.

      • 293
        Oh dear another Englishmong making a full of himself says:

        Who the fuck says “Glasgee” ya mad rocket !

        • 304
          Keep the doors locked, don't stop at red lights says:

          Er, my Glaswegian colleague. Or “Weegie bitch”, as we call her.

    • 334
      robbie says:

      I don’t think his heart was in it really and he got swept away in the tide of SNP votes in Glasgow. GG moved on from Glasgow and Glasgow have now moved on from him.

      If he’s sensible he should go to the States and do a lecture tour.

  27. 50
    The Sally Rally says:

    So sending Sally Bercow to scotland to campaign for Red didn’t work then?

  28. 55
    DisgustedOfTunbridgeWells says:

    What an unlikely alliance, the The Sun and SNP, but there’s method in the Suns madness, next stop independance for Scotland.

    • 335
      robbie says:

      Yeh the Sun really won the election for Alec Salmond, it really really did…….

      …hope that didn’t sound too ironic

  29. 62
    Geordie Scoot says:

    When you look at the economic output data for 2009, Scotland is almost bang on the average, with 8.4% of the population producing 8.3% of the nation’s output (doubtless the odd subsidy helps here). London and the South East have 26.2% of the population producing 35.8% of the output, everywhere else is below average, with the worst offender/biggest scrounger being Wales, closely followed by, ahem, the North East of England and Northern Ireland. Sorry for the boring stats.

    • 95
      QWERTY says:

      But how much of that output relies on the state? Also does that take into consideration the higher public spending per head?

      • 205
        Geordie Scoot says:

        No precise stats to hand, except public sector employment is 24% of those in work, which is above national average, but well beaten in that by NI and the NE, unemployment rate is below the national average, and percentage of economically inactive in 16-64 age group is about the national average. I am involved as part owner and director of manufacturing companies in Scotland, and the people we employ are generally hard working and professional, so no complaints from me.

        • 295
          Anonymous says:

          You have to realise that many sad old Gits on here have their whole credibility tied up with their fanciful stereotypes you musn’t let the truth get in the way of their predjucies.

      • 336
        robbie says:

        a figure which is toally irrelevant given baseline population.

    • 294
      Anonymous says:

      No wonder that welsh windbag known as the Paragnostic likes to create a smokescreen using the Scots.

  30. 70
    himindoors says:

    Labour candidates up to funny games at pollking station:

    “The Labour candidate is the owner of Tiger Taxis, which explains all the taxis in the car park. It was to intimidate the opposition! Bloody thugs!”

  31. 72
    Huhne the Cowardly idiot says:

    A Sky reprter has just called Chris Huhne very mealy-mouthed for saying now is not the time to be looking for a new leader.

    • 81
      Engineer says:

      So the Huhney monster has done a swift about turn, has he?

      Cameron would be wise to shuffle him off to the War Graves Commission or similar at the next reshuffle. He’s been probably the least useful and most damaging of the LibDem ministers. (That’s a judgement on his contribution to the betterment of the country – spending billions on windfarms and whacking up taxes of fossil-fuel power stations will only make energy costs sour for most of us, and will damage Britain’s competitiveness on the world stage. The bloke’s a goon.)

      • 88
        Engineer says:

        ‘make energy costs soar’, not ‘sour’. Though the bills would indeed make you sour….

      • 93
        Eeu to me says:

        Oh you mean like British Gas closing the Morecambe Gas Fields because they consider the taxes being too high.

        • 239
          MrAngry61 says:

          Two sides of the same coin. Raise the price of non-renewables in order to make the cost of windmills less eye-watering. However, IMO all that will happen is that we buy French nuclear-generated electricity via interconnectors. The law of unintended consequences.

      • 263
        tell it like it really is says:

        Some say Goon ………I say hoon
        Some say rancour………….I say wanker

    • 83
      Limp Dum says:

      The scorned ex-Mrs Hoon has been sharpening her knife….

  32. 74
    SCOTT CHATER says:

    Totally off topic !
    How must the Syrian people feel
    when they saw the worlds military flock to help Libya
    and yet they leave them to be slaughtered ?

    • 79
      He's Spartacus says:

      Count the oil wells in Syria before you make comments like that.

    • 80
      busted nokia says:

      I guess they wish their leader had oil and gold

      • 96
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        Our previous leaders had gold and oil All sold off to fund the benifits of their core voters !

    • 91
      T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

      I’m the Middle East Pe@ce Envoy, remember ? What’s the problem ???

    • 92
      smoggie says:

      It’s time Turkey stepped in. Syria is historically in their sphere of influence.

      • 97
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        I’m no expert on this … but doesn’t that sound a bit like England stepping in to problems in Ireland. Or Germany helping out in Poland.

      • 98
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        (or for that matter France into North Africa)

    • 114
      Come the Revolution says:

      I viewed watch dog last evening for the first time in years. Two things stood out

      1) Every shot of Anne Robinson could clearly be seen on HD freeview as being in soft Focus

      2) Criticising an Egyptian new build holiday resort for being a just few weeks late because of the revolution so that UK tourists had to be put up elsewhere was in the worst possible taste.

      • 127
        Hugh Janus says:

        Christ on a bike – you must have been desperate to watch the Wicked Witch. No paint drying nearby??

        • 155
          Come the Revolution says:

          No i was trying out a new TV and thought the focus was fooked until I realised that the BBC were deliberately blurring every shot of Miz Robinson.

          And I just could not believe that she was criticising a country that had just gone through revolution for putting Brit tourists in alternative luxury accomodation because a lack of building supplies had made a new build a few days late.

          • gullible northern voter says:

            it is nothing to do with soft-focus. she is actually a ghost, has been dead for a hundred years. ed miliband told me so it must be true.

          • Fog says:

            You weren’t really paying attention. Watchdog said that was one of the excuses the travel company gave. Oh, now I’ve admitted I watched it. Damn. I hate the BBC

  33. 75
    Nemo says:

    Spanking, spanking, Guido I bet there are some Tories who wish they were with Cleggy that’s what they do

    • 115
      Nemo says:

      Seriously Cleggy and the LibDems have been given a message if they ignore it they are lost forever. The Cleggys as a collective group must now remove the shield that has been covering Cammers, back the cons when they agree with them and withdraw backing when they disagree with them, Cleggy should resign as DPM and so Cammers would have to spend more time at PMQ for a change. The conservative party has run a very successful NO to AV campaigne there is not doubt about that back dare I say it by many Liebore MPs and voters especially in one state constituencies, the YES to AV has been very lack luster. Cleggy remember a shield can be used for attack as well as defence, ask the bobbies, they are very good with shields, so come on polish those shields and hold them up.
      Delete, delete, delete.

      • 151
        ST says:

        Yes, the reckoning has finally come for the Lib Dems: are they Liberals or Social Democrats?

        • 366
          Rufus T. Firefly says:

          They’ll need to hold a referendum on that point. But will they use FPTP, AV or another method to decide the outcome?

  34. 90
    QWERTY says:

    Bring it on, the jocks fucking off and the boundary changes could cost Liebore up to 100 seats, they will never be able to get power in England again.

  35. 94
    Centre Parting says:

    Yes, let Scotland go on its own – Gideon has just stuffed them with a drop in tax revenue from North Sea gas on the horizon – bet they don’t realise!

    • 106
      QWERTY says:

      Actually a lot of the gas is in English waters

      • 181
        Postlethwaite says:

        Qwerty – ”Actually a lot of the gas is in English waters”

        That may have been true twenty years ago. Today we import gas.

        ConocoPhillips for example has over 140 drained / exhausted wells to abandon in the Southern NSea. They wont do this because it costs money and there are no tax breaks for it. Then there are all the bp, BGas, Shell, Chevron . . . and so on wells to be abandoned. Probably runs to several thousands.

        Actually there is not a lot of gas in English waters.

        • 199
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          Look out for who lobbies for “carbon capture” … ie shoving a bit of CO2 into those wells.

          • Postlethwaite says:

            Shoving co2 into those wells . . .
            . . . french cookbook for bear soup: – first catch your bear.

            The ConDem government is putting 1,000 million pounds sterling into carbon capture – CCS technology. The same government is about to tax carbon capture – in the next two years or so. Longannet will suffer from this co2 tax and will be shut down. As it was there was only 20 million tons that were going to be sequestrated from longannet, the volumes are a ‘drop in the ocean’ against the reservoir volume of dead wells available.

            Do you remember the Miller sequestration project?
            There is no money to be made from CCS. And it produces a bucketloads of co2 to collect the co2.

    • 108
      Postlethwaite says:

      You mean just stuffed the oil companies with an ‘out of the blue’ green (eyed) oil company tax.

      Let’s see.
      10 million pounds to drill a NSea well
      – less than 10 pct chance of finding commercial quantities of oil
      3 million uS dollars for a well in Angola
      – better than evens chance of finding commercial quantities of hydrocarbons

      So oil coy tax goes up further and the oil coys stay in Britain?

      Condems – the politics of envy

  36. 99
    Postlethwaite says:

    Just googled:

    bbc ukip vote 2011 ukip may

    and no hits during May 2011. Must be a problem with google.

  37. 100
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Burnhim on sky AGAIN !
    trying to destroy the coalition by propaganda
    ffs if he succeeds we will have to endure yet more years of labour

  38. 102
    QWERTY says:

    Poor old BBC, the Tories have actually done quite well, John Pinhead and Nicky Campbell on Radio 5 sounds like someone shot their dogs.

    Bad night for Liebore.

    • 132
      ???? says:

      True words ! I’m not convinced that Labour would actually get an overall majority in a General Election even if the LibDem vote collapsed…there are several constituencies where Conservatives are second to LiBDems in equal measure and in fact the Tories could scrape home with a small overall majority given the boundary changes…but certainly the LibDems are toast although they traded on the voters naivety at the last GE ..the sooner we return to a two party system and get rid of the LibDem party the better for everyone

    • 211
      Ctesibius says:

      shooting dogs is a Liberal speciality

  39. 105
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Oh dear oh dear oil prices slump !
    second biggest fall ever 3.65%
    i must rush round to the garage and wait for the price to fall before filling up !

  40. 111
    annette curton says:

    The Scots are too canny to vote for independence, only a third those that vote SNP are in favour of it (pity), much better to get their funding from English taxpayers.

  41. 113
    Atualpa says:

    Have a larf at the BBC news website right now-it comments on everything except the big story, namely the Labour disaster in Scotland!

  42. 116
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Interesting that members of the three leading parties would prefer their leaders at the next general election to be someone else.

    • 150
      The far says:

      Not sure it’s good news for Labour or for Ed Miliband’s leadership..if Labour can’t make an impact in their traditional heartland of Scotland that’s worrying as they field approx 65 Scottish MPs to Westminster…the Tory core vote seems pretty solid in most parts of England (they actually gained councillors and took control of councils in Worcestershire and Gloucestershire although losing control in one or two others by a whisker such as N Warks)and both Labour and Tory seem likely to be equal victors of the LibDem implosion so with the expected landslide for the NO campaign in the referendum Cameron’s position as leader until at least after the next General Election is pretty secure

      Labour still as a lot to do..if they had picked the other Miliband they would have been streets ahead the fact is Ed isn’t up to the job..he’s another Michael Foot and a gift to Cameron that just keeps on giving.Better to ditch him now and give his brother the job rather than Balls who would be a worse disaster that Red Ed with the voters

      • 183
        someone, somewhere, says:

        I liked you analysis, but think it’s a bit unfair to lump all the blame on Ed Miliband – Labour certainly did itself no favours by electing him (if, indeed, they did), but they also shot themselves in the foot by appointing Gordon Brown’s cabinet of failures as his “New Generation” shadow cabinet. Labour may be in denial they did anything wrong, but the public are well aware these people are all to blame for the mess that Britain’s in.

        • 194
          jgm2 says:

          Still, Labour’s PR can still fuck with people’s perceptions. So far there have been zero, nil, no cuts at all and yet the country at large is convinced that the NHS is closing down and that the old will be left out on ice flows to die.

          And it’s all the Lib Dems fault. And look, as proof, they’ve reneged on a commitment not to increase student fees. And somehow this is a big deal and the voters give a shit. What poor PR the Liberals have. All they needed to do in June 2010 was to emerge on the steps of Downing Street and say ‘Fuck me, we had no oidea how bad it was. Labour have utterly arse-fuked the economy. We simply cannot remain solvent and keep to our promises’

          All they (Liberals) had to do was attack the clusterfuck Labour had left. But insteadthey have wibbly-wobbly comedy economist Vince Cable prevarocating and urr-ing and ahhh-ing. No wonder the Liberals are getting the blame. They just sat there and took all that Labour shit when they were in the perfect position to bury them.

          ‘Holy fuck voters – we had no idea how thoroughly Labour fucked the economy. It would make your hair stand on end if you could see the figures….’

          But no.

          • MrAngry61 says:


          • tell it like it really is says:

            Agree jgm2, also IMO none of these non reality Liberals are going to go for an election, what, give up their sinecures after 70+ years looking through the windows (?windowlicking) – couldn’t resist that one :)

  43. 117

    Fuck of English pricks, we fucked you lot good now were of. Jonah Brown was an SNP sleeper. GETIRRIGHTUPYEE’S

    Tattie bye shirt lifters.

  44. 122
    Postlethwaite says:

    Just ran yahoo search with ukip vote 2011 ukip

    no results for May 2011 let alone 6 May 2011

    Must be a problem with yahoo

  45. 125
    pjh3121 says:

    Yep, the BBC is largely ignoring the Conservatives doing well and performing to their poll rating, gaining overall in some areas and winning seats from the Lib Dems.

    All the attention is on Labour and the Lib Dems.

    Even when an LSE academic came on and said that Cameron, if he wins the AV vote as expected, should come out on top of all the party leaders in this election, Keunesberg quickly moved on.

  46. 131
    Martin Day's shit stained pants says:

    What a wonderful day for Labour – my dad voted labour cuz his dad voted labour so I vote labour and post stupid comments on this blog so, if my wife can ever get a real man to get her pregnant, can tell our children to vote labour. Go labour ray ray ray!

    • 148
      A Liebour Spokesperson says: says:

      If you vote labout at the next big election we will give you lots of benefit money (its free, you are entitled to it!) paid for by nasty, evil tories who actually go out to work!

      Remember, they work so you don’t have to.

  47. 140
    nell says:

    So the libdems have done badly.

    What did they expect? They allowed huhne and vince to front up their campaign backed up by people like paddy and hancock to name just two.

    They looked like bumbling idiots , a la gordonbrown, and have been rewarded accordingly.

    If the libdems want to recover their poll ratings before the next election, they have to buckle down and do a profession job, with professional looking people in the coalition.

    To do that, at the very least they have to get rid of the dross like huhne and vince who are bringing them a bad press.

    • 153
      Postlethwaite says:

      I was surprised that Cameroon did not fire vince (i see dead people) cable after his last outburst.

      Maybe he was just giving him enough rope . . .
      . . . worked too

    • 169
      Hugh Janus says:

      “If the libdems want to recover their poll ratings before the next election, they have to buckle down and do a profession job, with professional looking people in the coalition.”

      You obviously believe in miracles Nell.

  48. 146
    Nick Clegg says:

    I’m not one for reading EVERY single thing on every thread on here , so lets move on eh

  49. 161
    "Cast Iron" Dave says:

    In the wake of Bin Laden’s death, Muslims have gone on the rampage in Bradford killing anyone who’s English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 2.

  50. 162
    Postlethwaite says:

    GF Quote ”The AV result out at 9pm tonight is rumoured to be hammering for Yes”.

    Are you saying it will take until 9.00 p.m. to rig the referendum, just like the last referendum was rigged?

    • 264
      Southern Softy says:

      They don’t start counting until 4pm.
      That way they can ensure all the late postal votes are counted too.

  51. 170
    Concrete Pump says:

    Government ‘definitely will not release final photographs of Nick Clegg’

  52. 177
    Cash for scotch mosques says:

    Just one thing. Before we grant Independence to the Scotch and cut off their purse strings forever. Would it not be wise to encourage if not pay all those of a Moslem persuasion to relocate North of the border first?

    • 182
      jgm2 says:

      No need. They’ll relocate for all the free stuff the S&P and Labour will be doling out.

      • 252
        MrAngry61 says:

        They’d fit in well. No-one understands what scots say either!

        • 258
          jgm2 says:

          Oh they can make themselves understood enough to demand more free stuff. Because it’s only ‘fair’.

          • robbie says:

            I don’t think Standard & Poors run Scotland

          • Nick Leg says:

            Breaking News – New on the hour ferry service announced Calais to Leith starting the day after Jock independence

  53. 178
    England shits itself ! says:

    All these chippy Englanders on here this morning sound like some hysterical Girl about to be dumped by her long time boyfriend whilst claiming she doesnt love him and in fact is looking forward to the seperation. Dry your eyes Englanders, dry your eyes !

    • 184
      jgm2 says:

      If by ‘long-term boyfriend’ you mean drunken wife-beater then you might have a point.

    • 185
      A wee dram, afore ye go. says:

      I think you mean Chipper Englanders. Celebrating Scotchland’s imminent departure.

    • 189
      Squeeky-bum time for Scotchland says:

      England’s crying tears of laughter.

    • 191
      Sir William Waad says:

      The Scotch* feel they are terrible daring to vote SNP, rather like when your had your first cigarettes – which you may have regretted, later. An independent Scotland would indeed damage England far more than the saving in cross-border subsidy would compensate for, but the future for Scotland would be bleak now that (a) Scotland can forget about EU subsidies and (b) the oil is running out. The cold, hard fact is that you need us more than we need you, but we’d be fools to part.

      *as in “Never mind my grace, lassie; just speak out a plain tale, and show you have a Scotch tongue in your head.” – Sir Walter Scott, The Heart of Midlothian

      • 232
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        An interesting crumb in the middle there.

        Whats the big expenses for England about scottish independence?
        One might hope they’d not be bloody loopy enough to want to go “Schengen”.

    • 197
      A Calm Dispassionate Englishman says:

      The laddie doth protest too much, methinks.

    • 226
      Gilliam McKeith says:

      I like your shitting metaphor. To take it a stage further, to England, losing Scotland from the Union will be like excreting a very small tapeworm you never really knew you had in the first place.

  54. 179
    Chris Huhne says:

    What a nob us LibDems have as leader of our Party

    NICK CLEGG: “what this election proves is that people regard the Lib Dems as important enough to boycott. Really, it’s a victory for us”

  55. 190
    Chris Huhne says:

    Nick Clegg has just been granted a superinjunction banning the media from referring to him ‘the leader of the Liberal Democrats’

  56. 193
    Anonymous says:

    Ashdown- “Breach Of Faith” big mistake! Ask his wife why!!!!!!

    • 201
      Selohesra says:

      Pantsdown is irrelevant – I would say he is a has-been but actually he is a never-been which is why he is so bitter

      • 350
        Seal Team Six says:

        I felt a shiver down my spine watchin QT last night at the sight of Paddy’s thousand yard stare.

  57. 200
    Martin Day says:

    Quote of the week from Nick Clegg

    “Go back to your constituencies and prepare for … the wilderness.” Nick Clegg

    • 351
      Actively looking for work says:

      “Go back to your constituencies and prepare for – Signing on”

  58. 203
    Gordon says:

    I gave them two aircraft carriers, a bank and a parliament and this is how they repay me. Scottish bastards.

    • 206
      jgm2 says:

      So, I make that about 30bn quid just to buy yourself a 65K a year salary. Plus expenses.

      It’s the opposite of a bribe. Normally you bribe folk witha small amount in order to secure a large amount. You have bribed people with Squillions in order to secure (relatively) fuck all. It’s the worst value bribe in planetary history.

  59. 204
    Chris Huhne says:

    “Nick Clegg is the biggest joke in British Politics.” – David Cameron not only said this … he also appears to have proved it.

  60. 208
    Ed miliband says:

    I hate Scotland and all of the festering shits who come south of the wall to make our lives a misery…. oh fuck I can’t be bothered to say anymore ……..they are just stupid… just think on Gordon Brown for a second……a one eyed nasty marxist thug….. fuck him and fuck the scots….ooops did I say that out loud?

  61. 209
    Anonymous says:

    “Cleggy got a spanking”

    Excellent. Good wages for a whore.

  62. 212
    Anonymous says:

    “The AV result out at 9pm tonight is rumoured to be hammering for Yes.”

    Fantastic. Don’t want any pressure valve, however inadequate, marginally delaying this country falling to pieces.

    Regime change, then arrest and death for all the liblabcon scum.

  63. 214
    jgm2 says:

    Note too that the B&P were wiped out in Stoke and replaced with Labour councillors. No wonder the previous Labour tyranny spent so much tax-payers money hounding the B&P around the courts. It was political abuse of the court system. Same as they had tat T*ry bloke arrested in parliament.

    The B&P largely take votes off Labour. Or, to put it another way, the bed-wetting Labour elite of north London rely on the votes of racist northerners to keep them in mattress protectors and ministerial cars.

  64. 216
    West Lothian Question could be solved at last says:

    At long last with the SNP victory we could be seeing the eventual removal of Scottish MPs(principally Labour)from Westminster and no more Scottish MPs voting on matters that do not affect their constituents ….I say …so roll on that Scottish Referendum on Independence…you’ll have 100% YES vote from the English although I’m worried that once the Scots realise that the years of the English subsidising them under the unequal Barnet Formula will cease on independance it’ll cause them to vote NO to independence even with the SNP promising them a land of milk and honey .. once they exit the union

    • 222
      jgm2 says:

      Fucking magic news. If Salmond gets a majority he’ll be straight on the blower to Cameron declaring he’s having an independence vote. After all, that is the entire raison d’etre of the S&P.

      Some music I feel is in order

    • 255
      Dick Robinson says:

      The Tories should send Maggie up there to campaign for the NO vote, accompanied by someone dressed as Edward Longshanks.

  65. 218
    Late Postal Vote Surge says:


  66. 219
    John Ward says:

    Yup, word is that First past the post will be first past the post, although the votes of those who voted for AV will be counted using AV, meaning all the second preferences were for First past the post which will thus be even further past the post.

    So AV is vindicated in giving a bigger majority to FPTP than anyone expected, and thus we should move to AV. No, wait a minute…er, if we take all the FPTP second preferences but don’t count them twice, divide by three to allow for all those who voted for neither and then, um, fockkitt. Who cares? It won’t get us out of the EUSSR either way…..

  67. 223
    StrongholdBarricades says:

    These results must be a total hammer blow for the two Ed’s

    Cameron is sitting pretty letting all the rest squabble

    Pity about Mr Berry in East Lothian, that would have been the icing on the cake

    • 338
      robbie says:

      The great pity is that Dave Berry is a sensible bloke and a good local businessman who would have added value to the Parliament. The new Parliament is going to have a lot of inexperienced fowk in it and one or Slick Chic Brodie (who permanently sports the worst Elvis look alike haircut ever seen) will just cause some laugh out loud moments that even the Gray man himself hasn’t provided yet.

      If the FIb Dems want to have another different voting system to have a referendum about, then Slick is as good an argument against the proportional representation system (he was about 5th on the SNP list for his region) as you can get.

  68. 228
    Charlotte Corday says:

    I thought Gordon and Sarah Brown had been out campaigning on the doorsteps in Scotland. Does the Curse of Brown still manifest itself?

    • 256
      jgm2 says:


      Although what it also does is highlight what an appalling job Cameron and T*ry PR did in the May 2010 election. Salmond is reckoned to have done well because his Labour pposite number is a tongue-tied fuckwit.

      Surely though he cannot be worse than the Maximum Imbecile?

      And Salmond himself is a horrible c*unt.

    • 339
      robbie says:

      yes -even his last minute tokenism caused the whole country to flock to the SNP-even in Kirkcaldy itself- much to the surprise of 100% of the Scottish population

  69. 229
    Bollock Ed says:
    • 234
      boulay says:

      so basically use someone else’s money to make your life easier….. seems like a normal labour voter to me.

      • 238
        boulay says:

        actually must be a labour voter from a certain south Asian background – use someone else’s money to make your life easier even though you hate that person and all they stand for and eventually demand that you get special sharia cars to take you to fixed elections (just like home) in the future.

        • 244
          Anon says:

          “….use someone else’s money to make your life easier…”

          We seem to have reverted to the Scottish debate.

          • More blinkered than blinky says:

            Eds English you arse as was the thieving constituent he quoted.

    • 242
      Anon says:


    • 248
      jgm2 says:

      Labour can’t afford any petrol. They’re B*nkr*pt.

    • 299
      Tweets from Twats says:

      Nice example of practical Socialism there, spending other peoples money. Thanks for that Ed.

      • 340
        robbie says:

        Ed was also in Scotland to bolster the Labour vote……….

        ah….the missing link to the SNP landslide!

    • 353
      Head of the IMF says:

      Who was that bigoted woman? I blame Sue.

  70. 240
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    So labour done shit in scotlands , lib Dems done shit anyway, seems like only ones that done ok was SNP and the Tories.

  71. 259
    Gooey Blob says:

    Forget Clegg for a minute.

    109 councils declared out of 279 so far, and Miliband looks like he might end up short of the 1000+ seat gains he needs. Scotland has rejected Labour. If the referendum is a resounding no, you have to wonder about Miliband’s leadership.

    I think the odds on Ed Miliband leading Labour into the next election will lengthen after this. If he does get replaced a couple of years from now, we can look back and see 5th May 2011 as the day it all started to go wrong.

    • 262
      jgm2 says:

      Wrong for who? The deficit deniers?

      For us folk rooted in boring old rationality it’s a perfect result.

    • 268
      Southern Softy says:

      It started to go wrong the day he was elected. By AV.

    • 271
      Hugh Janus says:

      Can’t see him lasting anything like a couple of years – but let’s hope so as the longer he stays the sooner Liebour implodes.

      • 352
        Infamy Infamy says:

        Nedward is a CIA plant. The yanks want Scottish independence at which point they will invade (nothing to do with oil) because Alex Salmond is the europe Alky-Eeda commander in chief his beard being cunningly disguised by his 7 chins.

  72. 261
    More BBC Bias says:

    The BBC are reporting that Yes to AV will lose and this will put Nick Clegg under pressure.

    So why isn’t it putting Ed Miliband, Neil Kinnock, Vince Cable and Eddie Izzard under pressure? These are the people who fronted the yes campaign and they would not let Clegg share the platform with them

    • 269
      tell it like it really is says:

      Have to say that anyone who could think it was positive for their campaign to use Izzard – is he hell – and the other luvvie shite to garner votes shows their judgement to be totally impaired. i.e. One glimpse of Izzard and I’m ready to retch.

    • 313
      Handycock says:

      Don’t look at me.

  73. 266
    Tommy says:

    Guido, It Seems when Gordon joined the Labour Campaign in Scotland .
    That er… things went balls-up.

    The curse of Jonah strikes again!
    They seem to think (labour supporting media) That Gordon should take over the Labour leadership in Scotland.

    • 298
      Beyond the crash Gordon says:

      Fucking brilliant idea, please please let it be true!

      • 341
        robbie says:

        ok Gordon- we don’t want you to save the World any more…lets try something in bite sized chunks for a start … say…Scotland?

        well at least he’d see more of his kids

  74. 274
    the moneyshot says:

    labour worst election in 80 years

  75. 275
    the moneyshot says:


  76. 279
    Sir Everard Digby says:

    So put up or shut up time for Salmond..A Robert the Bruce moment or will he be the Caledonian version of Nick Clegg -plenty of promises he can’t keep.

    • 342
      robbie says:

      Bannockburn was almost 700 years ago- nice anniversary time for a referendum on Independence wouldn’t you think – lets see how about 23rd June 2014…..Eck does have a tendency to deliver even in difficulty.

      Just remember- they said Scotland would never get devolution
      they said the SNP would never be elected into Government
      they said no-one could ever get an absolute majority in the devloved Scottish parliament
      and they say the SNP will never win a referendum on Independence

      (one to go)

      • 354
        Hadrian was a genius says:

        Why not give the English a vote to decide whether to kick the ungrateful jocks out of their blessed one sided monetary union. This would also have to be accompanied by the right to repatriate all pissed scotch intimidating big issue salespeople and annoying bbc token ethnic-jock female announcers. Border controls would then have to be strictly enforced with land mines and attack dogs.

  77. 288
    Breton says:

    Please vote for independence Scotland. They can finally stop moaning about England and we can spend all of the taxes from the City of London.

    • 343
      robbie says:

      They’ll pay no tax surely? Its all sheltered and absorbed by wopping bonuses to staff who shelter it and then spend the rest on holidays golfing and skiing in Scotland- lovely jubbly!

  78. 290
    stupidstudent says:

    Fiona Hislop (SNP) just compared Scotland’s lack of independence to whats going on in the middle east. what planet is she on? Just on BBC’s Scotland results show about 5 mins ago. Do we still have the order of OTT Guido?

    • 344
      robbie says:

      You’ll have to forgive Fiona. She’s been fighting the campaign with a long running back pain complaint having just won (deservedly) her constituency seat for the first time.

      She does occasionally suffer from the side effects of medication for this (aka known as verbal p1sh) but she’s a good un at heart.

      • 355
        Free everything for everyone says:

        Wouldn’t mind seeing sexy Fiona in a burkha! The eyes have it!

  79. 296
    The Fall of The Boardwalk Empire says:

    Stephen Purcell your cronies took one he’ll of a beating last night !

  80. 305
    Anonymous says:

    Well, did my bit by voting for the Nats! Mind you, I am moving back to England next week from the socialist paradise that is Jockland. Anything to put the boot into the Liabor cu**ts that infest this palce. If the freeloaders want their independence let the lazy fuckers have it so long as we don’t pay. It’s a fantasy world here where everything is free and whatever is wrong, it’s all the Tories fault. Talk about a timewarp. Ah well, farewell and adieu you shiftless bastards.

    • 345
      robbie says:

      I’m sure you’ll miss us really- enjoy stumping up for those student tuition fees for your kids and the £8 a throw prescriptions for your anxiety pills (which you clearly need). Oh and when you are old and frail and your kids don’t give a toss that house of yours will come in handy to pay the nursing home fees.If you’ve any cash left after stumping up for the £5000 a year Council Tax.

      Even after a Tory cut of £1.3bn a year the SNP have delivered the opposite of the above by focussing on priorities and not costly health service tinkering down south. But I’m sure you know what you are doing, don’t you.

      • 359
        Nick Fisher says:


        All very well, but where is the money coming from for these (admittedly excellent) policies ? I suspect not 100% from the Scottish tax base…



  81. 307
    the moneyshot says:




  82. 308
    Hugh Jardon says:

    Who do I have to vote for to get to screw Pippa Middleton?

  83. 315
    Jess The Dog says:

    Scotland isn’t just a drubbing for Labour, it is the worst massacre in Scottish political history, worse than 1983 for Labour, far worse than 1997 for the Tories. There are just a handful of constituencies left to Labour, and even well-known (and respected) Labour faces are left hanging on with wafer-thin majorities. Browns’ heartland in Fife only has one MSP – Helen Eadie, whose majority is unthinkably tiny – 1,200. With boundary changes forthcoming, Labour are likely to be utterly screwed in the next general election. Scotland will get ‘independence’ as well…not what the SNP were calling for in the 1970s, but fiscal independence plus the scrapping of the Scotland office.

  84. 358
    Nick Fisher says:

    I am English, with Irish and French ancestors, so I don’t really have a dog in this fight. The Scots are a free people who can choose independence if they so wish, and good luck to them, BUT, the deal has to be a clean break.

    So (1) we work out how much investment the UK put into developing offshore oil, then net that off against revenues past and future (2) Not a penny of English taxpayers’ money goes north of the border post-independence (3) No UK political representation for Scots at any level – if they have a problem, they can send their ambassador to the Foreign Office (4) we do a 50-year deal on defence co-operation: they get to stay free so long as we have free use of RAF & Navy bases etc.

    Overall, not sure how the Scots are going to eat, but once they get to a certain age, you have to give them space to make their own mistakes…

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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