May 4th, 2011

Green Party Candidate Exposed As £50-An-Hour “Escort”

Not a good day for council candidates. This is Dave Walsh, the Green Party candidate in the Portslade ward of Brighton. Dave is a former MOD staffer and web developer by day, but at night it seems he has a slightly more lucrative career. Guido has blacked out some parts of Dave’s profile on “Sleepy Boy”, an “escort” service website:

The Greens are spinning this as “a practical joke” being played on their candidate and the profile has been pulled. But how exactly did this “practical joker” get the full frontal shots and the gagged and bound photos exactly? Like Bill Clinton was caught out by a “defining feature”, Guido is sure the exceptional amount of detail provided about Dave’s gentitals could only have come from the man himself.

In case you are interested, Dave charges £50 for the hour, £80 for two or £120 for the night. Does he realise under the Greens’ socialist policies he would be taxed until the pips squeaked on such a lucrative income? 

UPDATE: The national Green Party press office are standing by the “it’s a joke profile” line. The regional office is closed, which is helpful. Perhaps they could then explain if this was “a joke from eighteen months ago”, why Dave’s profile was recently updated to inform punters that he was “free anytime over Easter”. That’s one way of getting to know the electorate.


  1. 1
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    thats bad for the enviorment :-)

    Hope i can see all now.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Guido you really should stop trawling these kind of sites on the Internet people might get the wrong idea.

  3. 3
    Maddamar Quaddaffi says:

    I like GREEN !

  4. 4

    I’ll be buggered if I hire him …

  5. 5

    Nah, he’s not serious, he’s just having a laugh, isn’t he?

    Isn’t he?

  6. 6
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    I bet he knows Chris Bryant and Nick Brown

  7. 7
    FDP says:

    Astonishingly good value. . . . or so I am led to believe

  8. 8
    Lord Mandelslime says:

    I’m not fussy – anything with a pulse will do.

  9. 9
    IanVisits says:

    You wouldn’t – he passive.

  10. 10
    mandelson says:

    Don’t! He’s not worth a fiver.

  11. 11

    He’s putting it in for your good, you ingrate.

  12. 12
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Right with these socailist parties, they keep telling us what we cant do (Fly,drive,eat meat,smoke etc) , For once , is there any chance they could just tell us what we can do? It would save some trees for a start!

    O/T Apologies for earlier Guido.

  13. 13
    Me Me says:

    No you won’t; he’s submissive!

  14. 14
    Sir William Waad says:

    Well, a Green ought to be bio-degrade-able.

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    Does he know Hague and Osborne?

  16. 16
    Most people says:

    Who cares?

  17. 17
    annette curton says:

    Vote yes to AV says Eddy Is Hard.

  18. 18
    Chris Bryant says:

    Dave is my kinda boy. Tell him alfa 101 is up for an overnighter anytime.

  19. 19
    Guido Comes out. says:

    So Guido in just one afternon you have fessed up to hanging round tranny bars and gay escort sites. Should we or Mrs Fawkes be worried and are there any more skeletons in your closet?

  20. 20
    MrAngry61 says:

    He’s toast.

    Or he would be anywhere other than Brighton – there he’s a shoo in…

  21. 21
    1 says:

    Sony blames ‘Anonymous’ for PlayStation Network breach

  22. 22
    Peter Mandelson says:

    I don’t rate him, that’s why I’ve not given him any stars.

    I like my men expensive, and with yachts in the Med. You scratch my back, I’ll pass a law for you.

  23. 23
    The last quango in paris says:

    And it isn’t funny

  24. 24
    Doc Trough says:

    Brighton and Hove? Are they like Gilbert and George, Sissy?

  25. 25
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Ignoring for a moment Guido’s intriguing internet browsing habits, has anyone asked Mr Walsh whether he has declared this income to the taxman?

  26. 26
    Mandel's Son says:

    It’s the same background and vest on the Green’s site and his business page. Hope he’s using biodegradable condoms.

  27. 27
    Hard-Lazing Voter says:

    Has he ever shit in Mark Oaten’s chest?

  28. 28
    Hard-Lazing Voter says:

    Yes, in. Munch munch munch.

  29. 29
    Tessa Tickles says:

    £50 is a lot of money to most of the people in Portslade. It’s an utter dump (although Fatboy Slim lives there, on the sea-front next door to actor Nick Berry).

  30. 30
    The Paragnostic says:

    As opposed to putting it in for 50 quid an hour, I suppose…

  31. 31
  32. 32
    WWhat you didn't know pt 94 says:


    Shit stabber is ‘green’ candidate in Sodom.

  33. 33
    They're all smug, sneering Celt cunts at the BBC, 'cept Kuenssbergs whom I wish to bum intensely says:

    They luv it up the arsehole these Greens

  34. 34

    Where’s me credit card? :P

  35. 35
    Dave says:

    Well Dave runs the Green’s LGBT

    Where he says he also runs

  36. 36

    In the Balkans, they are BioBelgradable.

  37. 37
    Andy Gray says:

    FFS. Is everybody bent nowadays???!!!

  38. 38
    Tessa Tickles says:

    He’s on the wrong side of Brighton. Portslade’s kind of Brighton’s ugly niece. One of the bits we prefer not to talk about. Like Moulescoomb and Whitehawk. The Labour areas. The shite areas.

  39. 39
    Sir William Waad says:

    I tried to call him but he was tied up.

  40. 40
  41. 41
    Chras Byrent, boyo says:

    Bugger me…….£50 an hour, is that all he makes as a professional shit stabber in Brighton?


  42. 42
    The last quango in paris says:

    What’s all this people’s pledge nOnsense tomorrow in sheffield? Ridiculous

  43. 43
    Vince Cable says:

    Hang him!

  44. 44
    A Pope says:

    I am a Catholic

  45. 45
    Socialism is a mental illness says:

    Ah Ha! See he is a civil-servant , MOD no less. Bet the troops will be pleased to see the sort of lazy faggots that are ‘backing them up’, over-manned and not a man among them probably. Get the gurkha brigade to shove their bayonets up his rusty sheriff’s badge.

  46. 46
    Tessa Tickles says:

    All that irradiated petroleum jelly’s not good for the environment, either.

  47. 47
    Anus horribilis says:

    And no reviews. Poor sod.

  48. 48
    I says:

    Lentils? Have you tried rice

  49. 49
    Green is the New pink says:

    Dave runs the green’s LGBT site where he says that he runs

    This site openly advertises gay porn and the UK’s gay cruising areas. That’s not very green is it?

    To see if there is a gay cruise near you click below.

  50. 50
    A green MP: Elected by queers and scrounger filth says:

    I do not luv it up my arsehole…please retract that vile comment forthwith

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    There is a rumor going on that Clegg has resigned; any one know anything about this?

  52. 52
    Joss Taskin says:

    Isn’t the leader of the Greens, Caroline Lookarse ???

  53. 53
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Each to thier own.

  54. 54

    Dear Sir

    As a former resident of Hove, I should like to point out that Portslade is a part of Hove Actually and not Brighton.

    When they rammed us together with Brighton, we were promised that we would keep our own identity, a promise that has not been kept and to which you appear to have become an accessory after the fact.

    Yours Outraged,

    Arthur Streeb-Greebling


  55. 55
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Clever businessman, really. I bet he could sell sand to the Arabs.

    I’m just puzzled as to what sort of person has to pay for bottom-sex in Brighton. It has to be more than just bum-fun.

  56. 56
    Little Lord Sodomite says:

    He only has a tiny little knob

  57. 57
    Bear of the Woods says:

    Now clean my fur!

  58. 58
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Clegg? The one from last of the summer wine? i thought he was dead.

  59. 59
    Dave in red vest says:

    He was on his way to see me

  60. 60
    Dave in red vest says:

    Intriguing news from Washington that Osama bin Laden had 500 euros hidden in his clothing when U.S. Navy Seals attacked his compound at Abbottabad and killed him. According to Politico, Leon Panetta, the CIA Director, has briefed congressmen that the former al-Qaeda leader had 500 euros sewn into his clothing, as well as two telephone numbers to call in an emergency.

  61. 61
    Eddie Gizzard says:

    Exactly Tessa, why pay for some queer’s arsehole, when virtually all males there are hangin around public lavatories offering their rectums at no cost.

  62. 62
    Fairy Dairy Land says:

    He certainly looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders at PMQs. So it would not come as a surprise.

  63. 63
    The cunt of Monte Cristo says:

    He’s got big feet that cu’nt

  64. 64
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Don’t tell me he’s left his CV on the photocopier.

  65. 65
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    You are more right than you think. In 20 years in uniform, I met about 3 MoD civil servants who I rated. 99.99% of them are utterly contemptible. Stupid. Lazy. Workshy. Overpaid. Under-tasked. The cause of procurement cockups. Poorly educated. Incapable of mental flexibility. Bolshy. Frankly, I’d prefer them to be active traitors, as by their incompetence they would at least do our country some good. Alternatively, sack the pigging lot of them.

    And now this specimen turns out to be both a green and a turd burglar. How much worse can it get?

  66. 66
    A ? says:

    Free over Easter.

    We needed someone for our Passion Play.

    Sounds like just the chap.

    Next year maybe ? Cheers Guido.

  67. 67
    Is there a more vile cu'nt at the BBC than Richard Bacon? says:

    The degenerates of Bwighton deserve to be represented by this sort of human filth

  68. 68
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Isn’t it just typical hypocrisy? The Greens lecture us about not eating meat, and what does their candidate do?

  69. 69
    Is there a more vile cu'nt at the BBC than Richard Bacon? says:

    How much does cleaning your anus cost?

  70. 70

    By the hour or by the inch?

  71. 71
    Where could they have got to? says:

    No mention of the gold sovereigns he had sewn into his clothing, too?

  72. 72
    SaltPetre says:

    What a disgusting pervert….obviously a ‘YES to AV’ supporter !

  73. 73
    A nurse writes says:

    How big is his cock.

  74. 74
    Ghost of Gordon says:

    Penis information: UK Uncut.

  75. 75
    Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

    Ding, dong!

    I’m free… unlike £50 an hour Green Dave.

  76. 76
    Bear of the Woods says:

    There’s a £5.00 surcharge, but that’s because it ursus quite a lot.

  77. 77
    Manlickscum & Sweaty Balls says:

    I will give him £4 and packet of cheesy to suck my dick.
    My Tory Teddy Bear. I will give you the moon my chubby chops!

  78. 78
    The Paragnostic says:

    It is ridiculous – fancy trying to hold Dave to his promise of a referendum on Europe! The cheek of it!

    And on the very day that we get to vote on something that hardly anyone gives a toss about, too!

  79. 79
    The Paragnostic says:

    Bet he got a bonus then – the shiny seated bum chums voted themselves performance bonuses for shitting on the troops and generally fucking up procurement big time.

  80. 80
    The Paragnostic says:

    It is green if you cycle to the laybys (taking your badger watching equipment, of course)…

  81. 81
    The last quango in paris says:

    Why are they getting at
    Clegg though?

  82. 82
    The Paragnostic says:

    Interesting that it wasn’t dollars – did Bin Laden forsee the dollar collapse later this year?

  83. 83
    The Paragnostic says:

    He’s sub too, so you could use real nails to crucify him…

  84. 84
    The Paragnostic says:

    +1 – made me spit coffee on keyboard though…

  85. 85
    speedster says:

    UNDER Gordon Brown, I have no doubt that his pips would most surely have squeaked. Still, bet he loves a Nokia being “thrown”.
    any comments froma Sarah Beard? (errr Brown)

  86. 86
    The Paragnostic says:

    Do arctophiles get a discount?

  87. 87
    Sir William Waad says:

    Dave’s country cottage here:

  88. 88

    Does that bloke from Dollar still do burgers?

  89. 89
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Did you find him on William Hague’s expenses claim form ?

  90. 90
    Greeny poo says:

    Well the Greens are fookin arseholes. This just confirms it.

  91. 91

    You’ve got Chris Eubanks, what more do you want.

  92. 92
    Laydbackdave says:

    This is Dave’s Profile

    Is a gay single male

    From Brighton Brighton/East Sussex and is 42 years old
    dave is looking for:
    Gay (male), Bi (male) would like to meet them for:
    Friendship, Relationship, Casual Sex, Anything

    Height: 6 foot 3 inches
    Weight: 13 stone 1 Lbs
    Build: average
    My hair colour is: dark brown
    My eyes are: brown
    I have the following tattos: yes
    I have these piercings: above neck
    Fashion: Trendy
    I would say i am: straight acting
    Scene wise: sometimes use
    I drink: Socialy
    I smoke: Giving up
    As far as drugs are concerned: Sometimes use
    I would descride my race as: Caucasian
    and my religion as: No Comment
    My profession is: Internet and Network Engineer
    My cock/breasts size: medium
    and it is: uncut

    Login in to contact dave

  93. 93
    The Paragnostic says:

    Presumably because Cleggie demanded a referendum on AV, while the real referendum we need is on Europe.

    Nice to see they have the few sensible Labour MPs as supporters – Austin Mitchell, Kate Hoey, Kelvin Hopkins and John Cryer. Dan Hannan and Douglas Carswell are on board too, so it must be a cause worth supporting :-)

  94. 94

    Green is the colour of his Aids riddled festering arse hole !

  95. 95
    UKuncut says:

    My cock/breasts size: medium
    and it is: uncut

  96. 96
    vote no to av,vote no to sandal wearers says:


  97. 97
    The Paragnostic says:

    Donovan never sang that line – or is it from a previously unknown bootleg of “Yellow is the colour”?

  98. 98
    Manlickscum & Sweaty Balls says:

    Caroline Look Ass leader of the male prostitute party. Recycling your used condoms.

  99. 99
    Bear of the Woods says:

    Of course. As long as they don’t get a Steiffy.

  100. 100
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Alan Johnson former labour mouth piece forces an apology from the BBC
    after he lost an argument with Paul Boateng live on the 5.30 news
    Johnson who’s wife likes “a bit of Piggy” with a Piggy lost the plot and said of Paul Boateng “You can’t believe all this Bull Shit that he’s spouting !
    Forgetting his former public image he reverted back to his old gutter gob shop steward days of trying to intimidate people into taking his point of view !
    forcing an immediate apology

    Twat !

  101. 101
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Tolerance! we need to be more inclusive. There is a witchunt going on against me, my Asian friends and my business friends in Portsmouth, also the bent council officers who cover up for me. I feel an empathy with this poor, gay, MOD civil servant. I can assure your readers Mr Fawkes that he is not trying to procure gay serving servicemen to get secrets out of them in moments of sexual weakness and pass them on to the Russians; and I should know about this, I can assure you. Does he have a sister about 17 years old?

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    It went Green and then it dropped off.

  103. 103
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Like Bill Clinton was caught out by a “defining feature”.

    A cigar?

  104. 104
    Lobster Throttler says:

    He’s just a dirty twat though, just like you, you fucking slimy wowser.

  105. 105
    vote no to av,vote no to sandal wearers says:

    Like Blair “he’s a pretty straight sorta guy”

  106. 106
    Carry on Camping with Sid James says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Superb!

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    it’s a fair cop

  108. 108
    The Paragnostic says:

    Prescott tried guacamole once, and refused to eat at the restaurant again cause “them mushy peas were crap”.

  109. 109
    Primrose Hill Marxist says:

    Take it up the bum like a cheap prostitute – except this Huhne is getting paid for it.

    They want to cornhole us and take our money.

  110. 110
    A Nonny Mouse says:

    it’a s fair cop

  111. 111
    A Nonny Mouse says:


  112. 112
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    What was that 80’s song by Boney M ?
    Was it Big Brown Dirty Ring la la la la la ?

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Heh, heh, heh…

  114. 114
    The Paragnostic says:

    Damn – right on the button! :-)

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:


  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    shite areas?

    right up his street!

  117. 117

    The green green arse of hom-o Tom Jones ?

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    looks hung to me

  119. 119
    Travis Bickle says:

    All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal.

    Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

  120. 120
    Sometimes I don't know why we bother says:

    The Green Goblin

  121. 121
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    I wonder if he does birthday parties?

  122. 122
    Chrispy Brownpants says:

    What a cheap who re. My special anusol gel cost more than that.

  123. 123
    Nemo says:

    If that is so Davey willbe looking around for another shield to fight the good fight

  124. 124
    The Paragnostic says:

    I think it was the other one –

    By the rivers of Sodom
    Where we sat down and got up straight away cause our arses were raw…

  125. 125
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Breaking News : Barry O’bama has decided that he will not release the photo’s of Bin Ladens corpse
    after Boots the chemist lost the negatives

  126. 126
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Breaking News : Barry O’bama has decided that he will not release the photo’s of Bin Ladens corpse
    after Boots the chemist lost the negatives

    moded ?

  127. 127
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:


  128. 128
    Chrispy Brownpants says:

    His dick is more Browny green. Cheap slapper.

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    So the Greens really are f**king arseholes!

    I knew it!

  130. 130
    Mrs Faye Merritt says:

    They say there’s lots of homosexuals in Brighton – perhaps a majority. This publicity (from Fawkes and others) could get the candidate more support and more votes from those homosexual Brighton residents. In a nutshell – being a gay escort might not be an electoral disadvantage in that constituency.

  131. 131
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Happened to me earlier, says has posted but doesnt show on screen.

  132. 132
    Please clarify says:

    Is it the act of bumming or the desire to do so that is intense?

  133. 133
    Concrete Pump says:

    Breaking News…Irish SAS………..Have just stormed Debenhams after hearing Summer Bed Linen was on the 3rd floor

  134. 134
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Isnt Caroline lucas Mp represent ing Brightin?

    She has a bit of the Yvette Cooper about her.,..

  135. 135
    Engineer says:

    Guido’s post says “former MOD staffer”. He’s unlikely to have been anything particularly senior, and will certainly not have held any post that might require significant security clearance – they don’t like potential blackmail victims as employees; makes them susceptible to little offers from foreign parties in exchange for keeping their little secrets. He’s unlikely ever to work for the MOD again except in a very menial capacity.

  136. 136
    vote no to av,vote no to sandal wearers says:

    Wow,you must have stately piles!

  137. 137
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    There are no burger bars in Dollar. It is all Wee Frees there. Mind how you go.

  138. 138
    Never Forget says:

    Fucking aids infested scum.

  139. 139
    The Paragnostic says:

    That’s nothing – the Scottish SAS did over Poundstretcher looking for bin liners…

  140. 140
    Engineer says:

    It’s a bugger of a job this local politics lark, innit?

  141. 141
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Oh dear. Too much information, methinks.

  142. 142
    Dave Milliband's bro says:

    Not as well hung as me when I saw queen Elton.

  143. 143
    Fabians are Evil says:

    I hope the inland revenue will come after this creature with a nice big tax bill

  144. 144
    annette curton says:

    Nobody knows exactly what happened yet, except of course the BBC, they keep saying Bin Laden was gunned down unarmed, apart that is from one of his wives, collateral body armour?.

  145. 145
    The Paragnostic says:

    Is a gay escort a prostatute?

  146. 146
    Osama Bin Laden (My Death Was Exaggerated) says:

    These poofs will not what has hit them when Jihad becomes a everyday reality.

  147. 147
    The Paragnostic says:

    Do we care whether he was armed or not?

    I wouldn’t bother to check whether Blair or Brown were armed, so why should the Septics be any different with their enemy?

  148. 148
    PD77 says:

    Guess that’s what they imply when they say these new green taxes mean the taxpayer has to bend over and take it!

  149. 149
    confused says:

    Brighton! then he’s a shoe in

  150. 150
    gildedtumbril says:

    Obviously the green party thinks we are all green.What a disgusting bunch of green bastards. Since their policies would have us driving horses and carts one is provoked into worries that their behavior might startle the horses.

  151. 151
    MrAngry61 says:

    The Pentagon can’t supress them for ever. In any event, wouldn’t surprise me if some of the video of the attack & the trash disposalfuneral surfaces on wikileaks or similar.

  152. 152
    MrAngry61 says:


  153. 153
    Chris Bryant, Lord Mandelson, Gordon Brown, Tony Blair, Alistair Campbell and the males at the BBC says:

    Boy we’d like ot fuck his arse big time.

  154. 154
  155. 155
    smoggie says:

    If he’s “free anytime over Easter” does that mean he doesn’t charge his normal fifty quid?

  156. 156
    Royce-Jones says:

    What do you expect – its Brighton for gods sake!

  157. 157
    Anonymous says:

    Where did he get those big black oblong pants from that he is wearing in all the pictures?

  158. 158
    Bin Laden's Ghost says:

    All I got is 72 virgin women that are no good to me as I’m a Muslim bum bandit, can I book him for an hour? I’ve got a splitting headache and need a good blow job

  159. 159
    Engineer says:

    Look, it’s tradition that when the Yanks do one of these big ops, there’s a cock-up. Since the military bit went OK (apart from a broken chopper), in that bin Liner got his and a lot of potentially useful intelligence matter was gleaned, they’ve got to transfer the cock-up to the subsequent PR job. They’re probably just bigging it up for the Hollywood film rights, anyway.

  160. 160
    Muslim fudge packer says:

    Oh yes they will as we can’t wait to start bumming, remember in the Muslim world a woman is for babies but a man is for pleasure.

  161. 161
    Rodger M senseless says:

    always blowing his own trumpet
    If you would like to Meat !
    Give me a Ring

  162. 162
    annette curton says:

    No, “except of course the BBC”, (read between the lines).

  163. 163
    Is the BBC still broadcasting? says:

    ******************** MEMO TO SEAL TEAM SIX*********************

    Target: BBC wankers

    Location: TV Centre and the urinals on Hampstead Heath

    Enemy forces present: The BBC and the population of Southall

    Friendly forces present: The few whitey’s left in London

  164. 164
    vote no to av,vote no to sandal wearers says:

    He got them from the house of commons expenses clerk,I believe their called redaction thongs

  165. 165
    QWERTY says:

    I hope unlike Bryant he’s not wearing skidmarked knickers.

  166. 166
    The Paragnostic says:

    He’s probably got a wind powered dildo and only uses freetrade palm oil up his arse….

  167. 167
    The Paragnostic says:

    Who was the munter sat next to Red Ed at PMQs? I thought Angela Eagle was foul but that one really takes the biscuit….

  168. 168
    Rodger M senseless says:

    Hi sexy !
    My 71 sisters will be along shortly !

  169. 169
    QWERTY says:

    If it’s Brighton it’s more like a fisting.

  170. 170
    Leandro says:

    Kateeee Pwice too.

  171. 171
    The Paragnostic says:

    I’m just waiting to see if any of the lefty scum that inhabit the BBC and C4 nick my Wahabi flavoured shark joke for their ‘comedy’ shows this week.

    They probably won’t understand it anyway – all that they know is the traditional “Palestinians good, Israelis and Americans bad” view of the Middle East…

  172. 172
    vote no to av,vote no to sandal wearers says:

    give it a couple of weeks and there will be footage of 1200 sailors qeueing on the aircraft carrier deck to take a whizz on the auld enemy prior to booting him off under the handrail with the pigswill from the canteens

  173. 173
    The Paragnostic says:

    I would post a link QWERTY, but just google “foot fisting” for an education you almost certainly didn’t want….

  174. 174
    Sarah Brown says:


  175. 175
    Edward Testicles & Edward Milipede says:

    He’s better looking than our wives

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    Isn’t 44 a bit old for a “Rent Boy”?

  177. 177
    Dick Itch says:


  178. 178
  179. 179
    Optional says:

    What’s these Gay Escorts like then?

    Ford used to make good ones.

    Are these good for rallying too?

    Any good reviews?

  180. 180
    P. Doff says:

    Who needs a skeleton to get a boner?

  181. 181

    You, sir, may have him, if you wish. We would be pleased to see the back of him.

  182. 182
    Anonymous says:


    Probably just support staff in the back orifice.

  183. 183
    RB says:

    Guido you still dont get it.

    This man will have taken the view that none of this matters. Anyone who raises it as an issue in todays world is a homphobic, blah, blah, blah. C’mon he must be intimately conected to that utter fake Lucas and her brain dead witterings.

    Honestly, these people really are that arrogant – BTW I live in Brighton and I have to put up with these fucking people stuffing their fucking sexuality in my face all the fucking time. Im not a homphobe I just went the fucker to leave the rest of us alone – none of us give a fuck what you do or what you want. In the vein of that execrable organisation Stonewall – get over the fact that none of us give a fuck

  184. 184
    Anonymous says:

    How do you know about those sites and what kind of deviant searches for those things. Doesn’t surprise me though Welshman.

  185. 185
    Die Hard 35 says:

    The Yanks can’t tell the difference between a Holywood script and reality. Remember the Jessica lynch omnishambles.

  186. 186
    Blimey says:

    Could he be booked on expenses?

  187. 187
    What do the Welsh know about military success? says:

    The Welsh , rolling over to the English for 800 years.

  188. 188
    The no plane truth says:

    We have a couple of aircraft carriers which we are looking for a use for. The funeral business may just be what we are looking for.

  189. 189
    nell says:

    Well I have no idea what to say to that. Except if that’s what the green party’s about best not vote for it.

    When I was a girl life was much more wholesome just like these lads.

  190. 190
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Do you want to swap him for fat slob ugly bint Julie Burchill?

    Actually, you can have her for free.

  191. 191
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Just say Yes to voting reform

  192. 192
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    Ideal bed fellow for David Laws, Dave likes to give his boyfriends £40,000 a pop of taxpayers money. A year on and no sincere investigation or prosecution. Lyons needs sacking after Laws is convicted of obtaining property by deception and false accounting. On current form Obama would assassinate people like this without trial.

    When is Cameron and Clegg bringing back capital punishment? They appear to lavish praise on Obama for his assassination when are they going to get the balls to act like him to even get rid of the Human Rights Act?- Dave was on about this sometime ago.

    Yet here we are suffering threats from convicted terrorists and they will not even deport them. The US will not even share intelligence with Pakistan, but Dave thinks it is a good idea to let 40,000 Pakistani’s stream into our country each year on student visas and hand them over £650 million of taxpayers money (possibly borrowed) when they choose to spend vast sums on nuclear weapons and subs from Russia. The US will not even share intelligence with Pakistan. Cameron and Clegg need a good uprising. Vote UKIP tomorrow.

  193. 193
    AC1 says:

    there are no shit area, just areas with shit people in.

  194. 194
    Tessa Tickles says:

    The English SAS.. queuing up at a Jobcentre Plus after Camoron decided we won’t face much in the way of threats for the next 10 years.

  195. 195
    nell says:

    Give it up!

    yestoav is dead in the water.

    68%, according to tonight’s polls , are against it.

    The snp is expected to win, big time, in scotland (not a surprise since gordon has been out campaigning for the last 7 days)

    militwit needs to pin his dwindling hopes on winning at least 1000 council seats in order to retain a scintilla of hope that the labour party will keep thinking he’s the leader for them.

  196. 196
    BLOOD SWEAT and REARS says:

    Finger on the pulse again i see !

  197. 197
    jgm2 says:

    Ahhh. Stonewall.

    90% of people are heterosexual. Get over it.

  198. 198
    Nick Clegg says:

    Give it up, shill, we’re fucked. I’m fucked, you’re fucked. It’s all fucked.

    I’m a c’unt, I’m finished, my party’s finished. I fucked it all up to hell in a handcart.

    Ho hum. Off to a job in Europe. Byeee!

  199. 199
    jgm2 says:

    Dollar is quite a nice place. When it’s not raining. So, about three days a year.

  200. 200
    vote no to av,vote no to sandal wearers says:

    huh? what are the camels for?

  201. 201
    BLOOD SWEAT and REARS says:

    You can give them plenty of stick
    very ballsy, lots of thrust ,good handling
    and very accommodating seats

    oh beware of the “Rear spoiler “

  202. 202
    Anonymous says:

    And pug ugly with it FFS.

  203. 203
    Tessa Tickles says:

    No. But there’s another burger seller in Churchill Square (about the only English burger seller in Brighton) and he makes a fortune. All cash. No wonder the Dollar guy retired.

  204. 204
    Margaret Moran says:

    £50? I’m just a tenner for an hour. Wahey! I’m a bargain, me!

  205. 205
    Tessa Tickles says:

    If he’s getting paid for it, doesn’t that make him a prostitute?

  206. 206
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Reports say they found Usama underneath his rather large wife ! They said
    he’s definitley “Bin Layed on !

  207. 207
    Tessa Tickles says:

    You could liquidate the population of Whitehawk, and it would still be a shite area. And Portslade – nasty fish market and a power station and run-down dilapidated houses.

    Do shite people create shite areas, or do shite areas attract shite people?

  208. 208
    Strange Old World says:

    Ok so guys who hung out with Charlie Manson and did more LSD and coke than Vietnam War Protesters at a open air gig = nice and wholesome.

  209. 209
    David Camoron is an utter cunt says:

    Pucker-up, guys. Camoron’s found yet another way to waste our taxes..

    “Libyan rebels to receive £1.8 billion trust fund”

    How much from us, I wonder?

  210. 210
    Strange Old World says:

    Or am I thinking of the beach boys……looks like too much LSD and coke rotted my brain away as well……

  211. 211
    That's News says:

    Size 11 feet? Dear God! It’d be like fucking Bozo the Clown!!!

  212. 212
  213. 213
    That's News says:

    Also from their website He is motivated by his beliefs in social fairness and sustainability, and runs the Green Party’s national LGBT website.

    If it WAS a joke, it would have to have been by someone who knows a lot about him, also, as Guido points out, someone with access to some intimate images of him. Hmm. Someone like a fellow Green Party member who is gay?

    That wouldn’t be a joke, that would be a hatchet job by an insider. (No pun intended)

  214. 214
    vote no to av,vote no to sandal wearers says:

    I think he must be the only english burger seller in england

  215. 215
    Sandra in Accounts says:

    £50 an hour?

    Capitalist pig.

  216. 216
    handcocks half hour says:

    “Green Party Candidate Exposed As £50-An-Hour “Escort”

    Give me a chance princess……..I know I can make your inner circle happy.

  217. 217
    Sandra in Accounts says:


    Blue Labour OUT.

  218. 218
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Yes but you’ve got “dry rot” in your back passage !

  219. 219
    I says:

    Peter Principle….10% make the most noise

  220. 220
    Tessa Tickles says:

    It’s beyond a joke.

  221. 221
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    They have control of billions in oil what the fuck is “Call me” playing at ?
    by the end of this year we will have saved billions by the cuts yet gone further in to debt because this tit is trying to impress the world !
    Me too Dave out ASAP had enough !

  222. 222
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I’m sure he pays tax and national insurance on it. In fact, I bet he runs a limited company and pays employer’s national insurance, too. And has audited accounts.

    They’re honourable people, The Greens.

  223. 223
    Mandy says:

    Let’s see.

    Have him scrubbed and sent to my room.

  224. 224
    Three poofs and a P45 says:

    I think I read in a previous post that Guido is a gay magnate.

  225. 225
    Margaret Moran says:

    You can stick it up me chocolate tunnel bareback too! Wahey!

  226. 226
    I says:

    If you want CAMP you can’t do better than Channel 4’s ARSE Correspondent.

    He’s a composite of every gay since Frankie Howerd

  227. 227
    Mark Oaten says:

    Will he use my mouth as a toilet?

  228. 228
    Steve Coogan says:

    I had a posh friend from Brighton who lived in Hoveactually

  229. 229
    Starfish Troopers says:

    He has someone in twice a week

  230. 230
    Dodgy geezer says:

    I heard you like ‘em young. I’ve got a Russian lass, just 17 years old, here to learn english and go sightseeing, places like Big Ben, Tower Bridge, Buck Palace, nuclear installations. Interested?

  231. 231
    nell says:

    militwit and labour are preparing for an early election after the collapse of the yestoav vote as they believe this will bring the coalition down. What a laugh!!

    If dave and nick have any sense they’ll dump vince and huhne in a summer reshuffle, bring back davidlaws and get on with the business of government.

    the libdems, who are polling record lows, have nothing to gain by bringing the coalition down, and everything to gain by keeping the coalition going.

    And can anyone really see huhne making the next leader of the libdem party?

    They’ll never recover their poll ratings with him at the tiller!!

  232. 232
    nell says:

    I think what it means is that the greenparty is a joke.

  233. 233

    Hmmm “gay magnate” is that like “jolly rich”?

  234. 234
    Pot, kettle says:

    Jolly good entertainment watching the c’unt Tebbit being targeted for assassination by a specialist hit squad.
    But of course, when our allies do it, it’s justified.

  235. 235
    The Paragnostic says:

    Is Sen Bummerskill still in charge of Stonewall?

    What a truthful Spoonerism that is…

  236. 236
    Caroline Lucas says:

    If you cut and paste it into another document and change the font, you can see his cock.

  237. 237
    To me, to you says:

    Ever get the feeling you’ve been taken for a c*nt?

  238. 238
    Engineer says:

    Slight difference. Tebbit never ordered the killing of thousands of innocent people, or headed a terrorist organisation. Bin Liner did.

  239. 239
    The Paragnostic says:

    Hove Actually?

    Is that the slightly more true to life film starring Hugh Grant and a tranny?

  240. 240
    NIck Clegg says:


  241. 241
    The Paragnostic says:

    She had to turn lesbian just to get any, the ugly bint.

    She was shit when she wrote for the NME back in the early 80s, and hasn’t got better with age…

  242. 242
    Pot, kettle says:

    But not having the benefit of a trial to examine the evidence, who will ever know?

  243. 243
    Engineer says:

    The entire fucking world.

  244. 244
    The Paragnostic says:

    I am interested in Scottish recreational parctices and came across it as part of my research.

  245. 245
    The Paragnostic says:

    And don’t, whatever you do, agree to a ‘Scandinavian Flick’ :-)

  246. 246
    Norm says:

    Tebbit was the arse who oversaw the privatisation of BT, with all the commensurate benefits to the directors, and lo, joined the board quicker than sh*t off a shovel.
    He doesn’t get on his bike for sweet FA.

  247. 247
    Stinger says:

    Especially those who armed him to start off with.

  248. 248
    The Paragnostic says:


    They found bits of him in a French kitchen – they were making cassoulet and used ‘bean lardons’….

  249. 249
    QWERTY says:

    Who gives a fuck about a trial? It’s the one eyed jock poof that should be on trial, where’s all our fucking gold gone? How much are the poof’s PFI schemes going to cost us over the next 30 years?

    In fact fuck it, just string the jock mong up.

  250. 250
    QWERTY says:

    The Limp Dems would be totally wiped out, they would be seen as bottlers and untrustworthy. They are the ones who have to see it through.

  251. 251
    nell says:

    Takes a certain sick and twisted mind doesn’t it? to regard the perpetrators of the brightonbombing as entertaining!!

  252. 252
    Engineer says:

    Thank fuck he did. BT ain’t perfect, but at least you can get a phone installed without a six month wait, now. You couldn’t before privatisation, unless you knew someone who’d do it as a foreigner. For cash in hand, obviously.

  253. 253
    Dave Cam says:

    Can’t you lot call him Dave the gayer or something?

  254. 254
    Bozo the clown says:

    I’m not a a fucking shit stabber.

  255. 255
    Eva Precious Brick of Love says:

    sad git

  256. 256
    The Paragnostic says:

    Tebbit was a trained pilot and would easily have managed to miss the WTC and land safely….

  257. 257
    Down with the kilt says:

    Let’s stop the jock twats getting billions first.

  258. 258
    Small society in the Big House says:

    Calm down Dear!
    We have a tradition in the House of not persecuting our predecessors due to the protection of members pension interests.
    Who knows where such radical thoughts could lead?

  259. 259
    Norm says:

    Cash in hand?
    I’ll have some of that.

  260. 260
    Old gay's pants says:

    Do gay escorts leave big skidmarks as well?

  261. 261
    The Paragnostic says:

    Not only that, but the only phones certified for use on the GPO network were…

    Those supplied at vastly inflated prices by the GPO!

    You could get fined for attaching uncertified equipment to the network – typical Socialist scum tactics.

  262. 262
    angelnstar says:

    If you think that might be problematic, how about this? Ken’s behaviour is getting more and more bizarre. We all know about his pathological hatred of America. Is he the Manchurian Candidate?

  263. 263
    Randy Camel says:


  264. 264

    Jesus, Paragnostic. What a memory! I had forgotten that she wrote for NME. She was shit then, as you say. I used to prefer to read Sounds. Much more politically incorrect.

  265. 265
    The Westminster tranny says:

    She has a lot of Angela Eagle in her, mostly tongue.

  266. 266
    Aunt Hilda says:

    agree nell the reshuffle can alter the mix but it was only to be expected from the lib dems as they cannot have realistically expected to be in government….yes possible but not really envisioned and if it had been Clegg would not have used the easy eye catching lines…university fees…AV etc that now see him understanding that when in government those vote catching slogans come back to haunt you.

    In honesty anything is better than brown and given the useless shadow front bench still determined to ignore their abysmal 13 year record.

  267. 267
    Gordon Brown says:

    Slightly chubby, 50, dominant, non-smoker, £20 for one hour, £35 for two, £85 overnight.

  268. 268

    Hove Actually predates both.

  269. 269
    Engineer says:

    I’m sure you would.
    But not mine.

  270. 270
    Liebore scumbag says:

    We don’t, we just invite the terrorists here and do what Liebore did for 13 years, put them in a half million pound house, give them a free people carrier and £5k a month benefits.

    Job done, cheaper than the SAS

  271. 271
    Aunt Hilda says:

    sad comment kettle…teb’s wife crippled for life …many others very seriously hurt…no-one can say that was a heartening event regardless of political persuasion.

  272. 272
    Engineer says:

    Well, he certainly isn’t the Mancunian candidate….

  273. 273
    Tebbit rules OK says:

    Norm you obviously do not know what it was like before BT was privatised

    If you were fortunate you had a line connected within six months but it costed a fortune. And when you did get a line getting connected to the number you dialed first time was a cause for celebration

    It is fashionable today to talk about phone hacking. I can assure you that listening in to private conversations was all part of the GPO phone experience.

    You have no idea of how far the nationalised utilities were sinking Britain

  274. 274
    Team America: World Police says:

    America! Fuck yeah!

  275. 275
    Loosestools says:

    they’re ‘going away’ rates…heavily booked

  276. 276
    Young Tim says:

    dibble dibble dub dub put put ding

  277. 277
    Obama's Batman says:

    Bazza was going to publish the pictures of BinLaden but someohw the film processor sent the wrong pictures, Bazza got shown these and nearly hurled, “no way can the American people see these, it will cost me the election” he said

  278. 278
    nell says:


  279. 279
    U R A TWAT says:

    Are you referring to Lord Tebbit who has cared for his wife without complaint ever since she was crippled by a bomb targeted to destroy the British government?

  280. 280
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Who? Burger Van Day?

  281. 281
    Oasmasbinbagged says:

    I doing very well with the fishs… hunting for loaves next…walking on waters may take a while

  282. 282
    Oscar Alpha says:

    Does our Dave mean he likes it up the bum? Very messy business I hear.

  283. 283
    Obama's Batman says:

    Apparently these were the phone numbers found on Bin Laden

    0500 909 693 (BBC Radio 5)

    08705 900 200 (The Labour Party)

  284. 284
    Wakeup dipstick says:

    clue might be ‘submissive’ in his ad

  285. 285
    Anonymous says:

    Why are socialists so nasty?

  286. 286
    I says:

    Clap more likely

  287. 287

    Vi vas ze delektable und shliky Pippa at ze Hermann Göring Hotel? Fapensie, fapensie, fapensie.

  288. 288
    Obama's Batman says:

    Seal Team Six video leaked

  289. 289
    nell says:

    Typical gordon can’t even be honest over personal info.

    Substitute – grossly overweight and turned 60 on 20th Feb 2011.

  290. 290
    Young Tim says:

    the last thing to go through Osama’s mind when he saw the US seals was the bullet..he was only going to throw them some fish but it looked like he was resisiting arrest.

  291. 291
    On yer bike says:

    What goes around, comes around. Is this the same establishment that quite happily assassinates others when it’s convenient but regards it as unsportsmanlike when others adopt the same policy?
    And i’m sure Norman manages quite comfortably on his Westminster and BT pension.

  292. 292
    Big Jimmy says:

    Just another cock and bull story!

  293. 293
    On yer bike says:

    But it was exactly that.

  294. 294
    Yvette says:

    Did you see me on PMQs today, I’m growing faster in opposition. He tells me it’s low in calories….should I believe him?

  295. 295
    By your beds says:

    theres a queue for pippa moniker… get your tent

  296. 296
    The Paragnostic says:

    “Party lines” were common under the GPO as they refused to invest in their exchanges.

    For younger readers, a “party line” is a single exchange connection shared by multiple homes – if you had one, you could pick up your phone and hear your neighbour’s conversations.

    To be fair, the digital System X was actually developed while the GPO was in charge – I remember one of the lads that used to catch the same train back from Ashbury’s satation in Manchester was working on it in about 1980.

    The GPO was still crap though :-)

  297. 297
    Final Word says:

    You sir are sick.

  298. 298
    nell says:

    ‘What goes around comes around’ – you need to take note!!

  299. 299
  300. 300
    from the heavily gilded international offices of the Prime Mincer says:

    oh no indeed I am not free at all …my rates are consumately very much higher than the green chappie…watch it big mouth…now where are my swimbos…………..

  301. 301
    The Paragnostic says:

    I do hope you never have to care for a disabled partner, you twisted Socialist c’unt.

    Been there and done that and it’s no fun at all – Tebbit is a fine and honourable man.

  302. 302
    Ed Miliband, A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of UNITE says:

    Comradeth! Comradeth!…Er… Comradeth!

    Thorry, thtill waiting for Mr Whelan to fax the retht of my thpeech to me.

  303. 303
    more than ballsup says:

    no hes green so its vegetables and pink diesel

  304. 304
    Relieved 12yr old says:

    Nadine Dorries: Teenage girls should be taught how to say no to sex

    MPs narrowly pass first reading of Nadine Dorries’ bill to start classes in abstinence for girls aged 13 to 16


  305. 305
    On yer bike says:

    If only you knew.

  306. 306
    The Paragnostic says:

    I do believe Fallujah was entirely down to the Septics – they seem unable to control some of their troops.

    Even without that inconvenient truth, which Socialist bastard was in charge over here at the time?

    That nice Mr Blair, of course – please clean your own house before criticising others and revelling in the actions of the bogtrotting lunatics you so obviously admire.

  307. 307
    Pippa Middleton says:

    Hi proles. I hear you’re all obsessed with my beautifully curvaceous and toned bottom. I must admit I do have a very fine derriere. Treat me nice and I might let you have a squeeze. Buy me a necklace and you can take me up it.

  308. 308
    nell says:

    Indeed it was the beachboys.

    The monkees were squeaky clean, being a ‘group’ who were put together for a tv programme and not really a rock group at all.

    Interesting that manson, imprisoned, has now become a voice for the anthropogenic climate change movement.

    No better reason for not believing in it, is there?!

  309. 309
    BrazilNut Cluster says:

    or let you give me one up my salt squitter any time you fancy

  310. 310
    MrAngry61 says:

    Aversion therapy for anyone looking out for Lisa Nandy…

    Seriously, who was she?

  311. 311
    The Paragnostic says:

    Thought he was the Amphibian Candidate?

  312. 312
    Socialist says:

    Only socialism can save us!

  313. 313
    Tracey 13 and three quarters says:

    But 70% of what she says is crap, according to her blog.
    Or is that just for the ears of fees office officials?

  314. 314
    The Paragnostic says:

    Stayed at the Goring once – nice hotel but the food wasn’t up to much, which was a bit of a pisser ’cause it was all on expenses.

    That was a few years back, mind you…

  315. 315
    Tracey 13 and three quarters says:

    As long as expense troughing, EU cocksucking Cons*rvatives say so, it must be true.

  316. 316
    Dave Walsh says:

    errrgh girls, who finds a woman’s bottom sexy? yuk Now my lovely shit stained poop chute is a real cutie.

  317. 317
    On yer bike says:

    Blair, Cameron?
    All junior partners in crime.

  318. 318
    QWERTY says:

    I hear Gordon Brown is really pissed off that Osama didn’t have Scottish pound notes sown into his clothes, even though they’d only be as valuable as sheets of Andrex poo roll

  319. 319
    Huuuugh! SPLOOT! says:

    Sounds like you’re very knowledgable on that sort of thing, duckie! Do me now!

  320. 320
    St Sarah Brown says:

    You can have a threesome for £10 extra

  321. 321
    The Paragnostic says:

    Hang on – that was ‘first footing’, not ‘foot fisting’…

  322. 322
    Margaret Thatcher at the breakfast table this morning says:

    What year is it? My name is Imelda Sanchez. Weet weet! I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts. I am Catwoman.

  323. 323
    Arthur Daly MP says:

    £50 per hour?
    I wouldn’t get out of bed for such an insulting offer.

  324. 324
    Fuck the Socialists says:

    Spot on BT was FUCKING SHIT when the state owned it. you could have a phone in three colours and waited 6 months, then the phone boxes were always out of order and vandalised.

  325. 325
    Sillie Millie The Clown (avec strap-on) says:

    No. You’re a shit stabee. You know you love it.

  326. 326
    Arthur Daly MP says:

    BT are still shit, but at least the directors and their political friends are quite happy with the deal.

  327. 327
    Southern Softy says:

    Is that Eddie Lizard on his shoulder?

  328. 328
    Nads is thick but shagable says:

    I wouldn’t say no to sucking her juicy baps though. She has a cracking pair of norks. I’d shoot my sticky load all over them.

  329. 329
    Southern Softy says:

    90% until you add lager.
    Then it goes down to about 66%.

  330. 330
    Power before principles says:

    If she was so anti EU, why didn’t she lead the charge for a referendum on membership?

  331. 331
    Primrose Hill Marxist says:

    and a boy for ecstasy.

    I guess Aiesha was just there for the dishes.

  332. 332
    Southern Softy says:

    Is Silly Sally available?
    She has form as a scrubber.

  333. 333
    Ed Balls' doctor says:

    In most cases, yes. But in his, I’m afraid that it’s a pure emulsification of lard and Satan’s seed.

  334. 334
    Do your thoughts also go to the families of soldiers who died because your sham husband didn't provide enough helicopters equipment, you odious cow? says:

  335. 335
    Southern Softy says:

    Fawkes has redacted that important information.

  336. 336
    Ready fire aim says:

    No I just think he may have been under the impression that he wouldn’t be welcome in The States.

  337. 337
    Southern Softy says:

    Are you suggesting that the candidate is “rough trade”?

  338. 338
    Typical Green says:

    He’s got zero reviews. He can’t be very good then. Just like the rest of his party.

  339. 339
    nell says:

    My thoughts are often with our lads in afghanistan who lost their lives because the last labour govt/gordon/ainbustinagut failed to provide them with even the most basic of equipment.

    I hope aintbustinagut and gordon and bliar never get a good night’s sleep ever again because of their guilt of underfunding our armed forces to fight their contrived wars .

  340. 340
    Anonymous says:

    Paragnostic hmmmm that sounds suspiciously like the Pete Townsend defence.

  341. 341
    Southern Softy says:

    Ha! I thought you were a cock man, Caroline!

  342. 342
    Comrade twisted says:

    You dude are the ultimate proof that socialist groups and their outreach are WARPED big time.

  343. 343
    Dave the Peacenik says:

    As you know nell, i was totally against it from the start.

  344. 344
    Dave's unerring judgement says:

    As you know nell, i was totally against it from the start.

  345. 345
    Elvis was gay says:

    Nell you need to be aware that in the real grown up world outside of East Anglia, just because some record company says their act is squeaky clean doesn’t actually mean they are squeaky clean.
    There is some information that you are just not ready for yet.

  346. 346
    Baza Obama the dithering President says:

    No pictures of Bin Liner’s corpse yet. Our best Photoshop guys are trying to knock some up but of course y’all realise he’s holed up in Guantanamo undergoing “interrogation” and singin like a lark!

    All this stuff about him being buried at sea is to keep the Muzzies quiet.

  347. 347
    Dave's unerring judgement says:

    First rule of ruling is to demonise and pidgeon hole all dissent.
    EU arrest warrant anyone?

  348. 348
    Anonymous says:

    Thankfully that helpful Mr Bin Laden repeatedly told us.

  349. 349
    Horny Handed Son of Toil says:

    I bet he’s smelly and filthy, his type take a pride in never washing.

  350. 350
    Anonymous says:

    Why is she tweeting at 4:58pm, shouldn’t the lazy cow be getting her husbands tea ready ?

  351. 351
    Anonymous says:

    Can they also be taught to say no to married men as well ?

  352. 352
    Pokemwivastick just to see how they react says:

    You have to marvel at the mong voters who are prepared to get fucked by some thieves wearing the correct colour rosette just for the privilege of believing that they’re on the “winning side”.

  353. 353
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m going to write a really good review as I think he’s cute

  354. 354
    QWERTY says:

    The nurse has to give Gordon his special medicine first, otherwise he runs and hides under the able rocking backwards and forwards sucking his thumb.

  355. 355
    Ready fire aim says:

    This movie should be part on the national curriculum.

  356. 356
    Gary Glitter says:


  357. 357
    Southern Softy says:

    The phone numbers were rumoured to be:
    JobcenterPlus 0800 055 6688 and
    Disability Helpline 08457 123 456
    No-one told him we hadn’t joined the euro.

  358. 358
    Ready fire aim says:

    I heard it was the mobile numbers for Gordon Browns and Jim Devines Cleaners.

  359. 359
    George W Boosh says:

    In the United States of Amerikanism it is.

  360. 360
    Jack Savage says:

    Has anyone made any “he was hoping to capture the seat ” jokes yet?

  361. 361
    Southern Softy says:

    According to 95 above, he’s
    “Looking to meet honest guys that are not into bitching about every one.”
    Clearly he’s been through the locals and isn’t likely to have much support there.
    There is nothing more unforgiving than the gay scene. I believe.

  362. 362
    The Paragnostic says:

    Totally O/T, but here’s one especially for Billy Bowden….

  363. 363
    Raquel's_Chest says:

    The Green Party have no policy on immigration, which means they are, in effect colluding in the continuing overcrowding of this very small country – a population that has now reached epidemic proportions. In the past ten years a relaxed planning regime has included countless projects that have replaced prime agricultural land previously used for food production or recreation, with non-descript high density housing – or in some cases investment villas for the seriously wealthy.

    The Green Party manifesto makes no bones about “Building a new generation of quality council homes”. ( without actually saying where they are to be built, though presumably not in Southern Scotland or the Irish Republic.

    To even a casual onlooker there ought to be some hope that “Green” would do what the label said – i.e. not to cover the hitherto unspoilt areas of Southern Britain in concrete but to leave our historic green spaces in peace forever.

    That – very sadly – unmasks the incongruity of so called Ecologist principles for the protection of our unique environment (hatched by well meaning folk of yesteryear) with those of a latter day party that has somehow become inextricably linked with Socialism and all the baggage and dross associated with political opportunism.

    I personally do not give a damn for the sexual orientation of my next-door neighbour, or for that matter any political candidate but I do about the piece of green belt land not far from where I live about to be plundered by 250 “affordable” dwellings and the quality of life of those poor sods who must live and grow up in those matchboxes. Green policies – Phaah

  364. 364
    Southern Softy says:

    er. getting into town to get some sex?

  365. 365
    The Paragnostic says:

    Oh, and Gordon Ramsay’s being a c’unt…

    Pretty obvious from the article who it is – don’t know why the arrogant Jock twat bothered.

  366. 366
  367. 367
    Southern Softy says:

    Good g*od man, you could almost get a baby up there!

  368. 368
    Southern Softy says:

    Yvette Cooper?

  369. 369
    Southern Softy says:

    I believe that Ford also made a car called the Pubic,
    out of old Corsairs!

  370. 370
    The crooked finger of ectasy says:

    When men were men and Billy Bowden spent every night in his mothers bed, unlike today’s superstar umpires.

  371. 371
    Southern Softy says:

    After all, Mike Nesmith’s mum experimented with solvents.
    She came up with correction fluid,
    but was superceded by *delete* and *backspace*

  372. 372
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m free!

  373. 373
    649 piggies on the make says:

    Unlike the rest of us who demand payment up front for services rendered.

  374. 374
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    What really happened to Bin Laden !

  375. 375
    Pot, kettle says:

    “all on expenses”.

  376. 376
    William Calley says:

    He came, he saw, he conkered some septics.
    All’s fair in love and war.

  377. 377
    Bowden is a tosser says:

    Bowden, see how all the comments (Horney Handed) replying to your pathetic effort are funny – why do you bother you tosser

  378. 378
    Lobster Throttler says:

    Fuck off you fat lesbian Hunt.

  379. 379
    Southern Softy says:

    Let’s face it, Clegg is history, anyway.
    His best bet is to get rid of Dr Vince and The Huhne and make it clear it’s his decision, not Dave’s.
    Vince can cross the House to Liebour where he belongs.
    Huhne can snipe from the sidelines, where he belongs.
    Clegg has to publically accept that the electorate have voted NO to AV and that is the end to it.
    The coalition may have some chance then.

  380. 380
    The Paragnostic says:

    Laurent Blanc makes Glen Hoddle look like a diplomatic genius –

    Ok – it’s from the Grauniad, but what a stupid c’unt Blanc was to even think such things, let alone say them in front of a Frenchman of Arab descent.

    My sister’s in the FN, and she has some appalling views :-)

  381. 381
    AC1 says:

    so how come with certain under represented groups it’s fair to discriminate for and some it’s not? this victimhood poker is confusing.

  382. 382
    Southern Softy says:

    McDoom (advised by Ed Bollox) sold the gold at less than $300
    and it’s now $1540.
    The increase would cancel the c*unt’s PFI legacy.
    To paraphrase Derek & Clive,
    What a f*ucking c*unt!

  383. 383
    Southern Softy says:

    And you had to rent the phone set from the Gippo.

  384. 384
    Pippa Middleton says:

    Who’d like to take me up my lovely, toned and nationally popular arse?

  385. 385
    AC1 says:

    oh do fuck off you nimby btl twat.

    greens are bad but rent leeches like you are worse.

  386. 386
    Larry the Cat says:

    Where is this Fairy Dairy Land and who’ll give me a lift there? The bowls of milk here are bland.

  387. 387
    Rony the Roma Gypsy says:

    She probably says much the same about you and your governments multi cultural Nelsons eye for EU integrational policies.

  388. 388
    Coming to a benefit office near you says:

    Fairy Dairy land?
    Over the sea and far, far away the best bet for the lap of luxury.

  389. 389
    Fatal attraction says:

    Sarah married gordoom. What could possibly be worse?

  390. 390
    The Paragnostic says:

    Agreed – ability should be the standard applied in all walks of life.

    Mind you, I reserve the right to discriminate based on matters of personal choice, such as religion, politics or sexuality – none of which have anything to do with skin tone.

  391. 391
    Southern Softy says:

    Under AV, Tony’s tits win as they were the second preference to more people than Cherie’s because Cherie chose to wear a top and Tony went native.
    Quite by the way, I think Tony is about to lactate.

  392. 392
    David Laws says:

    Fancy charging for a room with a rent boy just because you thought you could get away with it.

    Can i come back now?

  393. 393
    David Laws says:

    Said the voter who cast his ballot for change you can stick up your arse.

  394. 394
    Southern Softy says:

    I’ve got a pearl necklace you can have, Love,
    I think it’ll look great on you.

  395. 395
    David Cameron, bumboy to the stars on the flag says:

    In the interests of populism, i could aways offer an immediate ban on unskilled immigrants and the removal of those convicted of crime, a referendum on EU membership, a withdrawal of UK forces engaged in the pointless pursuit of bringing democracy to the heathens, the total accountability of members of Parliament and of course an end to the corrupt BBC.


  396. 396
    The Paragnostic says:

    No you couldn’t – those are proper Conservative policies, and your spin doctors have warned you about that.

    And don’t, whatever you do, wind up poor Bibi by threatening to recognise a Palestinian state…

  397. 397
    The Paragnostic says:

    Well, if someone expects me to work for a couple of days in London, and I was living in Manchester at the time, a hotel room, a good meal and a nice bottle of red seems reasonable to me.

    Besides, it all got charged to the customer – I think that gig was the FO.

  398. 398
    The Paragnostic says:

    Beautiful – I’d forgotten what real cricket was like before they started dressing up like poncy gridiron players.

    Holding really was an impressive sight – the so-called fast bowlers of today are nothing compared to that great Windies attack of the 70s.

    Took a ball full in the forehead fielding at short leg once – damn that hurt!

  399. 399
  400. 400
    Jimmy says:

    Not that it’s any of our business, but you came across [ahem] this profile because…?

  401. 401
    Mark Oaten's Hair says:

    Well we all know plenty of politicians use prostitutes – gay or otherwise – and believe me you don’t want to be flapping around getting covered in all sorts and always having to wash and condition yourself. I mean, look at me – I fell out with the wear and tear!

    But is it credible for a prospective candidate actually to be one? On reflection, I think not. Even in Brighton, full of bummers as it is. Even in the Green Party, full of communist bummers as it is. Even in the Green Party in Brighton, where everyone is a communist bummer.

    Hmmm. I used to be worth it.

  402. 402
    Virginia Wade's Racket says:

    +100. Sorry, I think lesbianism is wonderful, but only when they’re fit. The idea of Eagle and Lucas fills me with horror; what a shrill encounter that would be, both fighting about the strap-on and who has the butchest hair. Give me Kate Silvertongue and Carol Smillie any day.


  403. 403
    Anonymous says:

    120 for an overnighter is a bloody good deal.

  404. 404
    the moneyshot says:

    wheres his manifesto?

  405. 405
    Bin Laden says:

    Does submissive include fisting, guilty pleasure

  406. 406
    Minekiller says:

    Brilliant example of socialist economics…the longer you hire him, the cheaper he becomes.

  407. 407
    Mandy and Bryant says:


  408. 408
    That's News says:

    363 that’s one of the reasons why I quit the Green Party! Oh, and the fact that they rigged the vote for the name change from the Ecology Party to The Green Party. Not very democratic!

  409. 409
    Dual Citizen says:

    Well, the leader of the gay Greens (or LGBT Greens) is someone called Phelim Mac Cafferty.

  410. 410
    Prince Charles says:

    he will only except organic condom up his ass

  411. 411
    Sarnt Majer says:

    But when all’s said and done it Sony a game innit?

  412. 412
    Sarnt Majer says:

    Is the BBC still Lew Gradeable?

  413. 413

    He’ll never last in politics; who ever heard of a politician who lets himself be fucked in return for used fivers?

  414. 414
    Kevin T says:

    It is actually, unless male prossies are cheaper? In London £120 would only get you an hour’s worth with a half decent looking female escort.

  415. 415
    geekparent says:

    Bit late Guido?

    Fantastic quote though:
    “He probably didn’t realise how sensitive things are, with me being a candidate.”

  416. 416
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    Maybe Mark Oaten could find a role for him?

  417. 417
    Groove says:

    So his mate put the pictures of him naked – genitals and all showing it seems – on a website, purely as a joke?

    According to that article, it’s perfectly usual then to have full frontal naked pictures of ourselves on our computers that friends can simply access and use to create fake profiles on escort sites!

    Also, how did the friend know he had naked photos on his PC? If he just happened to be using it to send an e-mail and came across them by chance, I guess then the first thought is, oh why not post these as a fake profile – that’ll be funny! Nice friends!

  418. 418
    Angie "the Eagle" Edwards says:

    The Obama-loving slime ball is certainly up there in the top 5

  419. 419
    Fitbad the Tailor says:

    What does he mean by ‘medium’ size?

  420. 420
    Kevin T says:

    You have to laugh at the fucking audacity of these people. Like, I was in the cottaging part of Clapham Common looking for my car keys, or I was in a looking for badgers in a roadside layboy used for the same purpose. You’ve been caught, you’re a batty boy, shut the fuck up. You’re running in Brighton, so what do you have to worry about?

  421. 421
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    I’m not fussed about his ‘private life’ that much, but it is telling that he and his party lie through their teeth when confronted with the evidence.

    BTW Guido, how did you ‘happen’ upon this profile? ;)

  422. 422
    beast says:

    Be fair
    he was “Free over easter”
    Some discount
    £120 a night?
    Id pay him that to tidy the garden overnight

  423. 423
    Anonymous says:

    Submissive Dave revolts me…but could we see the Green Party’s Princess Caroline of Brighton’s web site…I’d pay her £150 for the night!

  424. 424
    notareargunner says:

    7.62 long fucks men…

  425. 425
    Anonymous says:


  426. 426
    Marmite Soldier says:

    I agree – looks real to me. Denial is a bit pointless, it will only come back to bite him in the end (ouch). It is an interesting feature of our culture that whilst we have finally accepted gay people, even in high public office, we still somehow baulk at anyone (especially in public office) (gay or straight) indulging in commercial sex. We still haven’t reached the point where ‘doing business’ is acceptable, even if no abuse is involved.

    I say this as an observation and make no judgement on it either way.

    The argus article states that ‘the fake online profile has been removed’. However, they clearly have not reckoned with the wonders of Google. If you choose to throw “Dave 44 South East site:[put the sleepy boy site url in here without the brackets]” at Google you will still find him there in full glory in Google’s cache :)

  427. 427
    Groove says:

    Oh my God [re. Google cache]! :)

Seen Elsewhere

New Tory, New Danger | Laura Perrins
UKIP Could Work With Dave If Price is Right | Douglas Carswell
Cops Catch Crims With B.O. Test | Techno Guido
Bashir’s “False Account” to His Own Lawyers | Times
Injustice of Tax Avoidance Hysteria | City AM
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit

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George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

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