April 27th, 2011

The Telegraph’s Political Priorities

What has Dave unleashed? There are those that say The Telegraph has dumbed down in recent years, and those that can see that the Guidoisation of the media is almost complete. Colonels will be doing a little more than choking into their corn flakes when they see the latest from Assistant Comment Editor Lucy Jones:

Well Lucy, Guido can put you out of your misery. They were in fact Lisa Nandy’s boobs. Who, he hears you cry? One of Miliband’s, until recently, rather bland, new-model rent-a-mob.


323 Comments

  1. 1
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    they are nice tits tho.

    Like

    • 3
      genghiz the khan says:

      Storm in a D cup.

      Like

      • 31
        13eastie says:

        Wimmin on the Govt benches get their norks out too:

        http://bit.ly/ffBzfY

        Like

        • 43
          Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

          I wondered whose norks they were too – obviously not alone on this!

          Could do without seeing Rosie Winterton flashing her legs on the front bench though. In fact, could do without seeing Rosie Winterton at all.

          She and Lard Prescott would have been a shoo-in for Most Ghastly Couple in Britain (as distinct from Most Odious Couple in Britain, Mr. & Mrs. Edward Testicles).

          Like

          • Major Plonquer says:

            I think the point she was trying to make is that, unlike other female Labour members, her chest is not covered with marks caused by people touching her with bargepoles.

            Like

        • 46
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          Look who they are attatched to though, a dour, fat, ugly midget from the planet Nag.

          Like

        • 238
          S.B.S. says:

          If she loses her bra she could tuck them into her knickers.

          Like

    • 7
      Up sh1t creek says:

      They are fake, and they’re on loan from Gazza. Gordon Brown is wearing them as a disguise to pretend he still cares about is constituents.

      Like

    • 40
      Lord Lucan says:

      not bad…I’d like to deposit some DNA there

      Like

    • 45
      AC1 says:

      Harmperson also has an origami swan on her head.

      Like

      • 216
        Anonymous says:

        haha labour complaining that brown and blair are not invited tomorrow. they say the tories have blocked their invite.

        labour, allthough this may be news to you, you destroyed the country (constitutionally, economically and socially) and no-one really likes you.

        get over it you pussies.

        Like

        • 312
          Yeah, right..... says:

          Just possibly, Kate and William were asked

          “Would you like Gordon Brown at your wedding?”

          How would you, or any normal person, reply?

          Like

    • 286

      Shame the rest of the package doesn’t live up to the promise on the wrapper. Despite the rather impressive decolletage, Ms Nandy appears to be nothing more than a fat, ugly, northern munter, a species not uncommon in the ranks of the socialist party.

      Like

    • 320
      Bill E Ous says:

      ‘Assistant Comment Editor’ God help us. Does this mean she is on the verge of joining the hapless Celia Walden and the even more vapid Bryony Gordon?

      Like

  2. 2
    The voice of unreason says:

    Just as well her head wasn’t in that shot – what a minger!

    Like

  3. 4
    Hugh Janus says:

    Much better looking than the couple of tits on the opposition front bench masquerading as the leader of the opposition and his chancellor….

    Like

    • 26
      Calm down Dear, it's only some baps says:

      There was a young stooge called Nandy
      Who tried to distract Milibandy
      To gasps from afar
      At her wonderbra
      The Tory Grandees became randy

      Like

  4. 5
    Plato says:

    I wondered why she’d stuffed a hanky in her bra and it was showing :)

    Like

  5. 6
    purpleline says:

    I only had eyes for Ed Balls & Edward Miliband.

    But to put the record straight I would.

    Like

  6. 9
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    And it wasnt just the Telegraph, it was mentioned a few times on here on the lasttwo previous threads, It also took away the fact that Red Edward had another shit PMQS.

    Like

  7. 13
    nell says:

    pretty little thing.

    what a shame she thinks it necessary to flash her bodily bits and pieces about like jacquismith.

    Like

  8. 15
    Fantasist says:

    “Nandy has spent her first few days in Parliament squatting in the office of Tony Lloyd, chair of the parliamentary Labour Party” says her website.

    She sounds like a spunky lass!

    Like

  9. 16
    The White House Photoshop Department says:

    Oooh look, we’ve found the president’s birth certificate.

    Like

    • 18
      • 144
        The Paragnostic says:

        Love the distribution of his poor scores –

        Free Markets – D
        Western Civilisation – D
        Basic Trade Policy – D
        Basic Job Creation – F
        Home Finances – D

        Mind you, he scored straight A’s in such useful areas as ‘Grievance Studies’, ‘Minority Opression’, ‘Appeasement Studies’, ‘Class Warfare’, ‘Zionism, Evil of’, ‘America, Evil of’, ‘Islamic Studies’, ‘Advanced Marxism’ and ‘Liberation Theology’.

        Just the sort of man you want to lead America at a time of tension and economic hardship!

        Perhaps he should have done a PhD on Scottish Labour May-June 1921 – then he would truly be qualified to lead.

        Like

      • 253
        The Paragnostic says:

        I love the way he fails all the economics bits (anything less than a B is a fail in my book), but manages straight As in the socialist / white hating subjects.

        What a great man to lead the free world!

        (thanks mods – I spent ages typing the courses off the bloody transcript and you binned it – I can only suggest that interested readers follow AC1’s link to read the true calumny of O’Bummer’s ‘education’.)

        Like

        • 261
          AC1 says:

          Er it’s a late April fools..

          Still he was academically shit and the mystery of how he got in and funded his edumakation and exactly how close he was to anti-american terrorist Ayers is going to be investigated by the media any minute now.

          He is the president, they’d surely investigate.

          The MSM would never cover up stuff would they?

          Like

  10. 21
    boulay says:

    maybe that is what angela eagle was getting so hot under the collar about!

    Like

  11. 22
    I'd suck them for hours says:

    The best baps around.

    Like

  12. 24
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Its a shame she is a socailist.

    Like

  13. 25
    Angela Eagle says:

    Who wants to see my cleavage?

    Like

  14. 27
    angela eagle says:

    when i first saw the cleavage of nandy
    i needed a quick hand shandy
    after doing the biz
    i wiped off the jizz
    on Yvette’s blouse as it was nice and handy

    Like

    • 41
      Reinaldo de Compost Bottom says:

      Into the palace walked Nandy
      Her mission to convert Lord Mandy
      So she got out her norks
      At which Eagle just gawped
      And offered her all types of candy

      Like

  15. 29
    Bap Watch says:

    Lisa Nandy, Esther McVey, Claire Perry, Caroline Noakes, Caroline Dinenage, Priti Patel, Stella Creasey, Sarah Woolaston, Gloria de Piero.

    Who said politics is boring?

    Like

  16. 32
    Jack Dromey champions wimmin's right. says:

    Oi Harriet! Get that skimpy top on ya bitch!

    Like

  17. 33
    TJB says:

    What a cracking pair of Eds she has there!

    Like

  18. 34
    Bap Watch says:

    I’d like to put my super injuction between Lisa’s melons.

    Like

  19. 35
    Mrs Crewe says:

    I’m not surprised Ed Balls said that the missus would clock him one if he told her to calm down dear, after she is a man

    Like

  20. 36
    Winny the Winner & the wheelchair says:

    How sad!

    Like

  21. 37
    Bap Watch says:

    That was the first time I’d seen Tory MP Dr Sarah Wollaston at pmqs. She can take my temperature any time.

    Like

  22. 38
    Up sh1t creek says:

    That’s how memorable Labour policies are, that the newspaper prefers to go cleavage watching in PMQs?

    Like

  23. 39
    Stepney says:

    To paraphrase the Goodies:

    “Women, do you want a body like this? Men, do you want some body like this?”

    Vote Labour.

    Like

  24. 47
    Lucy Jones says:

    Thankyou Guido, I admit it, I fancey her.

    Like

  25. 48
    How Thoughtful says:

    At least she had the good sense to highlight the pair of tits we should be looking at.

    I thought for a second that she meant the pair of tits in the centre of the picture.

    Like

  26. 52
    Daily Telegraph Apology says:

    We have had a complaint from the Rt. Hon. Yvette Cooper-Balls MP concerning our lack of interest in her strap-on worn during PMQs.

    Like

  27. 53
    misterned says:

    I normally do not bother, but on this occasion I think I shall take the trouble to seek out today’s PMQ’s on iPlayer and give it a bloody good watch!

    Like

  28. 54
    Sarah says:

    Why are Labour so shameless?

    They cannot be so dense as to not realise that their policies have destroyed the country & the financial futures of British citizens yet unborn?

    What is wrong with these people & the idiots who vote for them?

    Like

    • 58
      Old Nick Heavenly (cue Dutrou vids and lots of foaming at the mouth) says:

      The understanding of action and consequence seems to have gone out of the window.

      Like

    • 61
      anon says:

      I think the same thing often – that smug self righteous hatred in their zealousness.

      13 years of their rule – I cannot think of anything more extremist than what they have done to their own country.

      Like

    • 64
      Mrs Crewe says:

      The Labour script is such utter tripe, Cuts Cuts Cuts blah blah blah! Like they wouldn’t have had to make sweeping cuts. In some ways I almost wish they had won the election so they would have had to clean up there own mess…but I only wish that in a world where I’ve won the lottery and am not living in the UK!

      Like

  29. 56
    Martin Day says:

    Sure Start children’s centres are being starved of cash and forced to close across Britain because of Government cuts, Guido Fawkes said today.

    Guido Fawkes said the coalition’s slashed funding to councils was leading to centres shutting up and down the country.

    He told right wing political bloggers: “Sure Start is being starved, it’s shrinking. Coalition policy is turning a much-loved, universal service into a patchy, postcode lottery, breaking the Prime Minister’s promises to parents.

    “It’s becoming increasingly clear Sure Start will not survive if this removal of the ring-fence continues.”

    Speaking in the run up to last May’s General Election, David Cameron pledged to protect Sure Start centres which were launched by the previous Labour government.

    Like

    • 65
      Anon says:

      Fuck off Day, there’s a good chap, and kindly take your silly comments with you.

      Like

    • 72

      Sure-Start.
      Stop bleetin’ on about sure-start as if it somehow makes up for kids who can’t read, pissheads in the street and mad mullahs threatening us all with extinction.

      Sure-Start. A drop in centre for mumsnet.
      Bollocks to it.

      Like

      • 204
        Tell it like it really is. says:

        And don’t have kids then expect other people to look after them for you……..and pay for them.

        Like

        • 254
          The Paragnostic says:

          It’s not just the scrotes that expect that – it’s uppity Labour council drones who also demand free childcare so that the LGBT Coordinating Facilitation Director’s Assistant Arsewiper can get her 40K pa and neglect her duties as a mother.

          Like

    • 77
      jgm2 says:

      ‘Universal Service’?

      Where is this ‘Sure Start’ in West Sussex?

      Is it ‘cos there’s no unemployment black-spots with Labour MPs and voters to be bought down here? Is that why we don’t have one?

      Like

      • 89
        Tessa Tickles says:

        They only really make sense in areas where the average IQ is almost into single figures. Think “Karen Matthews”.

        Like

      • 170
        Southern Softy says:

        There’s one in my area, located in the middle of a large council estate, ensuring the aspirational classes wouldn’t be seen dead anywhere near it.

        Like

      • 201
        Basil the Cat says:

        RE 77 Oh you’re down in West Sussex too. Nice Tory spot. In my village even the plebs have got “vote conservative” in their windows.

        Like

        • 245
          jgm2 says:

          Got my postal voting thingy the other day. Some kind of council election. Only put two crosses it said. Only three candidates on the piece of paper. T*ry, T*ry and L*beral. Poor liberal.

          Labour have given up on the south. If they can’t buy your vote with borrowed money or OPM then they don’t even bother fielding a candidate.

          Like

          • jgm2 says:

            PS.

            Possible good on-going gag there for the T*ries about Labour being addicted to OPM (Other People’s Money).

            No charge.

            Like

          • The Paragnostic says:

            Thomas de Quincey was an English OPM eater – he also went to the same school as me, though long before 1975 :-)

            If we adopted de Quincey’s style of T*ryism, we’d have machine gunned the bloody UK Uncut knobs, taken votes off non-taxpayers, told Europe where to get off, and generally sorted things out by now.

            There must be mileage in that for some well read T*ry speechwriter, surely?

            Like

    • 83
      Gas the working class says:

      “David Cameron pledged to protect Sure Start centres”

      And then he looked at what they did and – like anyone with half a brain – thought, “for fuck’s sake, anyone stupid enough to need SureStart would surely have been born dead.”

      Like

    • 85
      ssdb says:

      “Sure Start children’s centres are being starved of cash and forced to close across Britain”

      Huzzah! Sensible policies for a happier Britain!

      Like

    • 93
      Smig says:

      Martin! Your Mum needs help picking up from the day centre. Can you push the invacar round and help remove her tongue from the windows again.

      Like

    • 95
      Mrs Crewe says:

      As a worker in the Third Sector I can tell you Mr Day that the reason the Sure Start and other Third Sector organisations are struggling is that the Councils who distribute the money for such things are squirrelling it away for their own uses. Just like some Councils are cutting front line services rather than finding proper cost cutting measures. It is pure political trouble making.

      Like

      • 96
        jgm2 says:

        True. Private Eye today report on a Labour council (Rochdale) that needs to ‘cut’ 64m (fire 750) and yet is pressing ahead building 50m quid of new offices. A T*ry council needs to ‘cut’ 25m (fire 600) but is spending 40m revamping its offices.

        And we all know whose brothers/brother-in-laws/uncles will have won the ‘competitive’ tenders for all these new offices and re-vamps.

        It’s all a question of priorities. Councillor’s priorities.

        Like

    • 141
      where's my t shirt Guido? and have you swigged all the malt... says:

      our sure start is empty. The local mums preferring to use less ‘government’ facilities such as the local church mum & tot group. where ‘they don’t get preached at’! lol really. Our church group is not allowed to advertise in the local health centre as we’re ‘in competition’, and all run by volunteers…….

      Like

  30. 59
    Sir William Waad says:

    Parliamentary gentlemen should start wearing codpieces, in the name of gender equality. In Balls’ case it should be a whole-body codpiece.

    Like

  31. 63
    Gordon Brown says:

    from now on I would like to be known as Browny

    i would also like my ears pierced

    Like

  32. 67
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    I would like to have a long innings with Lisa Nandys tits*.

    * Breasts not two EDs.

    Like

  33. 69
    QWERTY says:

    The biggest pair of tits in politics

    Like

  34. 71
    QWERTY says:

    Angela Eagle a fat ugly fucking dyke. Piss off carpet muncher.

    Like

    • 92
      It is a Duck says:

      r you cerain she is a dyke? She looks like a man to me.

      Like

      • 97
        Tessa Tickles says:

        Yeah, they tend to. Living in Brighton, one perfects the art of maintaining a completely calm and unrevealing expression when encountering dykes. One completely overcomes the urge to scream, or call an ambulance, or ask, “are you really female? I mean, really?” Inside, there may be horror, but no one knows.

        We Brightonians make great poker players.

        Like

        • 133
          The Paragnostic says:

          Last time I told a dyke I played poker, she took me to the ironmongers to try some out…

          Like

    • 310
      Twatwatch says:

      She is the cum her mother should have swallowed!

      Like

  35. 76
    I don't need no doctor. says:

    I have just heard Ed Balls on BBC News 24 say that George Osborne is in denial. You could not make that one up.
    Balls is in denial about being in denial.

    Like

  36. 79
    Terry says:

    Can someone tell me why a socialist tit on Sky News business insists it’s better to borrow billions instead of cutting the deficit just because if you pump it into the economy on unaffordable projects and non-jobs it will artificially inflate the 0.5% GDP figures for a short while until we end up with even bigger debts?

    Why are Labour so obsessed with fiddling the figures???

    Like

    • 82
      Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

      To try and justify socailisim?

      Like

      • 87
        QWERTY says:

        Because Socialists never like to spend their own money, they steal it off everyone else.

        The best way to solve the debt problem is to simply execute every lefty on the planet.

        Like

        • 101
          Tessa Tickles says:

          They don’t merely steal it off everyone else, they steal it from the future. From people who have yet to be born.

          Yes, lefties should be executed.

          Like

        • 104
          Fa Kin Su Pah says:

          D’you think there’d be a bit of a fuss

          Like

          • The thieving Nurse Pilgrim says:

            We can take it, the money’s good and nobody gives a fook. Fancy an enema for 5 grand?

            Like

        • 156
          Still sick of the greed and lies says:

          A colleague of mine had a “message of the day” on his email signature which read “The problem with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money”.
          It says it all IMHO

          Like

      • 205
        Tell it like it really is. says:

        Because Labour are so bent they can’t even lie straight in bed.

        Like

    • 91
      Mike Hunt says:

      Easy, the only way they can get people to vote for them is to give large bribes.

      Like

    • 94
      Kevin T says:

      I don’t claim to be a great economist but I understand a lot of it and I’ve never grasped the “public spending gets you out of debt” concept. I mean, the basic way the economy works is taxes from private sector businesses and employees pay for the state, right? Crudely, job for the state = money out, job in the private sector = money in. So to “boost” the economy you need the private sector kickstarted. Now the state CAN conceivably help this by for example building useful infrastructure like a new airport or new roads. But we’re not doing this. Just throwing more money generally at the state and employing more people in the public sector will just build up more debt.

      If they want to take a short term hit to give the economy a boost, here’s an idea: why not halve taxes?

      Like

      • 103
        AC1 says:

        It’s akin to “steering” a ship around an iceberg by holding a magnet near to the compass until it changes the way it points…

        Basically the economy has been shrinking for 35+ years. Why? Income taxes ruin wealth creation. How “we” been hiding it? Debt.

        All the family silver is now sold off. Unless we ALL start earning a living it’s time for penury.

        Like

        • 115

          Still got the nukes.
          Sell ‘em in a bundle with the submarines and we can have 5 Sure-Start centres in each town for another 3 years.

          China will take them off our hands.

          Like

          • Silly Willy Wales says:

            Err actually the Trident missiles are leased from the United States. We own the Subs but given that they were made by Britishwasteofspace systems they probably aint worth very much and are full of corrosion and droping to bits.

            Like

      • 116
        The Paragnostic says:

        But surely ‘investing’ in frontline public services is a good use for your grandchildrens’ earnings?

        After all, Salvador Mundi used to argue the case for it very eloquently…

        </sarcasm>

        Like

      • 179
        Southern Softy says:

        This is how it works:
        I pay lots of taxes to HMRC.
        A different branch of HMRC gives me back some of my money as Child Benefit.
        Another branch of HMRC gives me back more of my money as Tax Credits.
        Yet another branch of HMRC spends years trying to claw back what they call an overpayment and I call a mistake on their part.
        Why not just take less from me in the first place.

        Like

    • 162
      Sarah Smith says:

      Jacqui Smith is a natural 36C – 26 – 38 so there!

      Like

  37. 80
    Terry says:

    ‘@sarahbrownuk RT? Nurses are incredible. Show support for #NursesDay on 12th May by taking the special pledge now: http://t.co/4nlyeW8

    You’re right you silly bitch, Nurses are not credible at all!!

    Like

  38. 86
    Andrew Marr says:

    Cheers dave, Cheers Lisa.

    That’s me off the front pages.

    Like

    • 90
      Andrew Marr says:

      Sorry Lisa, I forgot to say that you have got a nice pair of tits. How do you fancy doing my show onSsunday morning and an undress rehearsal Saturday night?

      Like

  39. 100
    Horace and Dorris Norris says:

    It’s a right tit called Ed Milliband.

    Like

  40. 102
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    To quote a football pundit, “Id smash it!”

    Like

    • 118
      The Paragnostic says:

      Although I can’t stand Keys and Gray, and think they shouldn’t be employed, it’s almost worth it just to hear the discomfort in Keys’ voice as he advertises Wickes’ special offers on his TalkSport show.

      That, and I can’t do Radio 5 due to potential apoplexy…

      Like

  41. 105
  42. 107
    Lord Gnome says:

    To steal an old and much-loved Private Eye caption:

    ‘Cameron faces the knockers!’

    Like

  43. 108
    MrAngry61 says:

    I can understand male fascination with cleavage, but a female editor’s interest? Not the Guidoisation of the DT, more like emulating the Daily Sport.

    PS – the correct response to the screengrab is “I’d buy that for a dollar”…

    Like

  44. 110
    Eeu to me says:

    Wow Aljabeeb news must be slow, I missed what rusty the warmonger said in the HOC today but Aljabeeb are really pushing that crap as with Brenda’s grandsons wedding.

    Like

  45. 111
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    I wonder if there would have been outrage if a man wrote the post?

    Like

  46. 112
    Chas says:

    Guido, I tried to send the following message to Lisa Nandy, but it required me to fill in my postcode, and then rejected every attempt by me to do so. Over to you:

    Dear Lisa, I have just read about you on your website, and you state that “Lisa joined the Labour Party after witnessing the devastation Thatcher’s Government caused to communities across the North West.” I understand that you were born the year that Margaret Thatcher became prime minister and were 11 when she left office. Can you explain precisely how you witnessed this devastation from your pram? I think perhaps you should remove this misleading nonsense from your website before the press gets hold of it and makes you look more foolish than you already do.

    Like

    • 117
      Geordie Scoot says:

      Don’t you remember the no-fly zone over Rochdale and the relentless shelling of the Ribble Valley by members of the 1922 Committee?

      Like

      • 121

        Rochdale. Twinned with Misrata.

        Like

        • 130
          The Paragnostic says:

          Rochdale’s full of bigoted women! The no-fly zone was to prevent their attacks on Saddleworth by broomstick.

          And the Ribble Valley is a known nest of malcontents who speak a strange Lancashire dialect – the shelling was in retaliation for the Clitheroe Kid.

          Like

        • 143
          Audemus Dicere says:

          Do you think we could ask GawdDaffy to bomb Rochdale then? Just to even things up.

          Like

        • 300
          Linda Smith says:

          Not twinned, but has a suicide pact with Dagenham

          Like

    • 123
      Labour's "Faux Outrage" says:

      Obviously it was on the “National Curriculum” for Primary School along with “The Romans” and “The Victorians” under the title ” Mrs Thatcher and the Tories devastated communities across the north west and also destroyed the mining industry as well !” No gold star for you I’m afraid

      Like

    • 125
      The Paragnostic says:

      She does have an impressive CV though –
      University (Newcastle – no degree specified so probably hung around the Bigg M*rket flopping those jugs out)
      a Masters (again no subject – but by this time she was in the Metropolis so probably gravitated to Kings Cross)
      Parliamentary researcher for Neil Gerrard (a sad old leftie who was, to be fair, not an expenses trougher)
      Worked for Centrepoint – worthy, but I bet it wasn’t as a volunteer
      Worked for The Childrens’ Society – ditto
      Elected as MP for Pie Town.

      All in all, a typical socialist with a sense of entitlement.

      I hated Thatcher at the time (being just about to do A-levels in 81, it’s natural), but have increasingly come to see that she was head and shoulders above the shower of shit we’ve had since, and at least she ensured we have plenty of coal left for when the oil runs out!

      Like

    • 192
      Ask for a signed topless photo of her says:

      @chas, you don’t need to bother with her website, just her email her directly at her HoC address: nandyl@parliament.uk
      An office assistant most likely reads all her emails though.

      Like

  47. 120
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today, I am mostly playing Halo 3 on Sony online.

    Ohhhhh…..What did I just do?

    Like

  48. 122
    Joe says:

    Flint??

    Like

  49. 126
    Talking down the recovery says:

    Newsflash **** newsflash ****
    May 6th

    The result the whole country isn’t waiting for is in.

    Yes to Av – 13%
    No to AV – 27%
    Couldn’t give a toss – 60%

    In other news, the blog ‘Political Betting’ has shut down over a lack of anything to post about…

    Like

  50. 128
    Silent Bob says:
  51. 132

    Eye Spy MP
    eyespymp Eye Spy MP
    by GuidoFawkes
    1445 @PollyToynbee in posh Peter Jones picking up a 32″ LCD flat screen in time for Royal Wedding

    Like

  52. 138
    Martin Day says:

    A Conservative candidate in next week’s council elections resigned from the party today after Guido Fawkes discovered his Facebook site refers to women as “sluts”.

    Payam Tamiz, who is standing for Thanet council, was until recently listed as a member of a Facebook group with the name: “Girls in THANET … you are all slags, hoes, brasses and bheads.”

    Like

    • 142
      Eeu to me says:

      And?

      Like

    • 145
      Audemus Dicere says:

      “hoes”?

      You mean they are useful for digging the garden? That’s kind of them.

      Like

    • 146
      Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

      The truth cannot be a smear.

      Like

    • 180
      Martin Day says:

      A Labour shill resigned from the party today after realising he writes nothing but complete crap.

      Martin Day, who is a useless socialist mong, was until recently listed as a member of Labour. “I realised,” said Martin, “that every Labour government bank rupts Britain. I cannot waste my life supporting Labour any more. It’s an insult to my forefathers.”

      Martin Day added that not only have Labour wasted all of Britain’s wealth, and printed £200bn to buy their own debt, creating inflation, but they’ve borrowed £1trillion, too. “This cannot be right, it is fundamentally wrong, it is sick,” said Martin.

      Like

      • 189
        AC1 says:

        Martin Added…

        The Labour Party transferred over 80 Billion a year in Interest payments to foreigners because of the debt we ran up.

        Like

  53. 140
    Laborious Dishonesty says:

    Has Calamity Kenny been working his magid again in Scotland and making Labour look a bit dishonest?

    http://news.stv.tv/election-2011/245397-asdagate-alex-salmond-and-iain-gray-accused-of-hiding-from-each-other-during-supermarket-visit/

    Like

  54. 147
    Barefoot Contessa says:

    “There are four times as many men as women in the House of Commons. Those women that have made it into Parliament must fight an uphill battle to ensure their views are taken seriously, and face a culture of sexist jeering and dismissive comments – not just by other MPs but by the Prime Minister himself.

    “Key to stamping out this outdated and sexist culture is getting more women round the table. Despite his pledges prior to the election, the Prime Minister runs the country with a Cabinet where just 4 of the 23 Ministers are women.

    “In the past year, the Government has launched what amounts to an attack on women’s jobs, employment rights and financial security. Massive cuts to the public sector workforce, reductions in public services more generally, and dramatic changes to the tax and welfare system could set equality on a backwards course.

    “If the Prime Minister want us to believe he is serious about giving women an equal say in the running of the country – despite his comment today – he could start by setting out his plans to make good his pledge to deliver a more representative Cabinet this Parliament

    Like

    • 150
      Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

      Jack Dromey?

      Like

    • 157
      AC1 says:

      Mrs Thatcher. Prime Minister and Leader of The Conservative Party?

      Like

    • 159
      Mrs Crewe says:

      Positive Discrimination is still Discrimination, If I get anywhere in life it’s because I damn well earned it not because I got a hall pass and a pat on the head. I am bloody well not a minority and sure as hell do not need some lentil eating hemp wearing support group to tell me how repressed I am. They day I let anyone make me feel discriminated against is the day they will be making snow men in hell

      Like

    • 178
      Tessa Tickles says:

      “Key to stamping out this outdated and sexist culture is getting more women round the table”

      So, basically you’re advocating outdated sexism then?

      Like

    • 209
      The Paragnostic says:

      More women round the table?

      Another G and T, please,waitress!

      Like

  55. 153
    Colonel Mustard says:

    It looks like the personal photographer goes to pretty much every event Lisa does. Charging the taxpayer for vanity shots at a time when people are losing their jobs and homes? “This is outrageous.” Guido passim

    You would think that they would know to gte her face in shot after all they have done in the past. Staff these days old boy!

    Like

  56. 155
    angelnstar says:

    http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/what-angela-eagles-should-have-said-to-david-cameron/

    Hasn’t anyone in the Labour got a sense of humour? OK, so DC was patronising! Great, he was giving every woman in the House the chance to give him some sass back and what is wrong with that?

    The pompous article in the Guardian made me want to throw up. The equally ridiculous article from the Fawcett Society made me despair for the future of women when men are not even allowed to kid us anymore.

    Above are my suggestions for some comebacks from Angela Eagle, but let’s face it, she and every other Labour woman are just too wet!

    Like

  57. 161
    Cheap Webspace says:

    Oh dear – Miss Randy’s website is no longer available due to the “site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit.”

    Like

    • 171
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Ha ha ha!

      Why doesn’t Labour have one provider for the whole ‘Parteh’? Give everything a consistent look? Do a bulk deal? Save money? Oops, answered my own question.

      Like

    • 173
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Much like her brassière…

      Like

  58. 168
    I don't need no doctor. says:

    If Eagles had kept quiet and listened she wouldn’t have had anything said to her.
    Ed Balls should keep his mouth shut as well. He is just a scumbag yob with nothing to offer. All he does is scrounge from the taxpayer.

    Like

    • 174
      Tessa Tickles says:

      You’re not wrong. It’s a long way off, but I think Balls will probably cost Labour the next election. He’s far, far too toxic. A Michael Foot for the 21st Century.

      Like

      • 181
        nell says:

        Oh Tessa I think you do michael’donkeyjacket’foot a disservice by saying he is as bad as bullyballs.

        michaelfoot was a bumbling commie spy. bullyballs is more toxic to uk economics and politics than a poisonous leak from sellafield is to the environment.

        Like

        • 233
          Tessa Tickles says:

          Hmm. I think you’re right.

          Foot was very likeable as an individual, very thoughtful (too thoughtful), caring in a way, but his politics were just.. mad.

          Balls (he’s no bully, he’s too old and fat and stupid) is simply poison. Labour didn’t want him. Red Ed (himself unwanted) didn’t want him. Labour will have to ditch him if they want to win in 2015.

          Like

      • 219
        The Paragnostic says:

        Foot had, at least, the ability to write and speak coherently – whatever his ideological stupidities he was at least an intelligent and educated man.

        Balls, on the other hand, may have been to Oxford, but is a complete moron.

        Like

    • 198
      nicholas campbell says:

      Ed Balls always sems to be spoiling for a bout of fisticuffs.

      Like

    • 202
      jgm2 says:

      Ned Balls has set himself up by making a ‘joke’ about domestic violence. T*ry spin-miesters should seize the moment and shit down his throat.

      Although Herr Balls of the comedy Nazi pictures seems immune to criticism. How could somebody so consistently wrong still hold down any kind of a job?

      Like

  59. 175
    Auntie Flo' says:

    Runours re Lisa Nandy’s sudden increase in weight:

    http://townofshame.com/page/2

    Like

    • 211
      The Paragnostic says:

      The weight increase is simple to explain – moving from London to Wigan has resulted in a dramatic increase in meat and potato pie consumption on her behalf.

      Wigan buttie = muffin with meat and tater pie in it.

      Wigan kebab = 5 pies on a skewer.

      See?

      Like

  60. 176
    Smelly Old Man says:

    The media are as bad as the indignant Marxists.

    “Calm down dear” is plainly more offensive than taking the country to war on a lie or wasting tax payers money on Diversity Officers, out of work chavs, single mothers & a politically correct police force until we all go as broke as the PIGS.

    I may be a Smelly Old Man but an old pencil and a scrap of bog roll and I’ll sort out the country before Ms Eagles finishes the washing up.

    Like

  61. 183
    Bap Watch says:

    I’d like to give Lisa a facial.

    I just mean a regular facial with moisturiser and exfoliant. What did you think I meant?

    Like

  62. 184
    Cameron was wrong says:

    Cameron should apologise. He was wrong to call Angela Eagle “dear”.

    He should have said “Shut the fuck up you ugly fucking rat faced shrill Labour bitch”.

    Like

    • 191
      nell says:

      blliar took us into an illegal war, gordon trashed the economy, threw nokias at people, screamed foul mouthed abuse at staff and bullyballs and damian devised lies and smears about innocent wives and husbands of their opponents.

      cameron calls a screeching, out of control, labour woman ‘dear’ and labour descend into a faux display of offended hysteria.

      What childish, over the top, double standards this labour’lost its way’ party is practising.

      Like

    • 199
      nicholas campbell says:

      Are both the Eagle sisters devotees of the cult of Sappho ?

      Like

  63. 187
    pendu says:

    Rent-a-Boob. In the houses of parliament ? Well, I never….!

    Like

  64. 188
    Jumbo says:

    OT but can anyone tell me why BT are such lying thieving Hunts?

    Like

    • 193
      Buggered by Socialists says:

      It’s all part of the lying cheating thieving culture created by phoney Tony and associated scum in recent years. The concept of honesty is completely alien to them. Still, it could be worse – have you ever tried dealing with TawkTawk ?

      Like

      • 200
        Jumbo says:

        I deal with both but brtHunts overcharge me far more per year than a fucking tv licence

        Like

        • 228
          You ain't seen bad until you've seen 3 says:

          BT – crap.
          TalkTalk – lamentable.

          But, the cream of the cream of shite Telecoms – have you tried 3UK?

          Like

    • 227
      AC1 says:

      lying incompetent thieving Huhnes

      Like

  65. 190
    PD77 says:

    The Telegraph has taken over the Daily Sport then, next we’ll be seeing a nipple count.

    Any way she missed the two boobs near the bottom of the picture!

    Like

  66. 206
    Hang The Bastards says:

    First time I have “CRACKED-ONE-OFF” whilst watching PMQs!

    I will be better prepared next week & have me man sized tissues at hand !

    Like

  67. 207
    Hello? says:

    The nation is in economic, political and social meltdown, engaged in multiple conflicts, beset by corruption and sleaze, yet the top political blog is captivated by cleavage.
    Perhaps X factor viewers know something the rest of you don’t.

    Like

  68. 208
    nell says:

    bullyballs said on tv tonight that ‘the British economy is in the ditch’

    What is so laughable that he’s still denying that he and gordon put it there!!

    Like

    • 210
      QWERTY says:

      It should be Ed Testicles in a ditch, blindfolded and his hands tied behind his back.

      Like

    • 212
      Baron Mandelson of Foy in the County of Herefordshire and of Hartlepool in the County of Durham says:

      Yeah! But it was fun while it lasted.

      Like

  69. 214
    StuartP says:

    You’re right: The Telegraph has gone to shit over the past few years.

    Like

    • 217
      The Paragnostic says:

      The crossword’s still the only one in the quality papers that you can do in the tea break though!

      Like

  70. 215
    The Paragnostic says:

    Loved the Special One’s performance tonight – swearing at the 4th official in English was a masterstroke, since no Germans speak English at all.

    Oh, wait…

    Mind you, Barcelona were falling over like a bunch of fairies, and the ref was utterly useless, so I can’t blame him.

    Like

  71. 218
    The Right Honourable Harriet Harman MP says:

    The Prime Minister has let his mask slip today and revealed himself as a potential rapist. How much longer can this throwback to the days of the wifebeating, anal shagging even if i’ve got a headache, excuse of a victorian patriarch be allowed to take women back to pre suffragette days?
    Girls! Stand up, and stand for the right to be treated as serious people!

    Like

    • 220
      nell says:

      hattyharpic speaks for real women like gordon speaks for real men!

      Like

    • 221
      jgm2 says:

      Are you going to be standing up for the rights of sufferers of domestic violence like Ned Balls too?

      Like

    • 229
      Jack Drone says:

      Harriet – there are two reasons why women like you only get shagged up the arse –

      1. We don’t have to look at your simpering stupid face
      2. You have a Huhne like a bucket.

      Now calm down dear and get back to the dishes.

      Like

      • 235
        The Right Honourable Harriet Harman MP says:

        Calm down Jack! We all know who takes it up the chuffer in this relationship, and as for the dishes, you know where to find me!

        Like

      • 262
        Arse says:

        She’s a triple bagger……..an extra one on her head just in case the first rips, plus one on mine just in case both hers fail. Even then there’s risk is that I might see her face. Probably safer to have a wank.

        Like

  72. 225
    nell says:

    http://www.hindustantimes.com/Royal-snub-to-Blair-Brown/Article1-690480.aspx

    ++++Laugh++++

    ‘ the honorable’ denismcshane is going to ask parliamentary questions as to why bliar and gordon weren’t invited to the royalwedding.

    It couldn’t be, could it? that gordon has a reputation for casting storm shadows even over sunny days and bliar hasn’t dared appear in the uk in yonks for fear of lynchingmobs?!!

    Like

  73. 231
    Calm down says:

    Newsnight will be discussing Deargate (I’ve got copyright on that term).

    Like

  74. 232
    Eric Pickles says:

    If it’s fat wobbly bits with a large crack in between you want, allow me to tie my shoelaces for you.

    Like

  75. 234
    nell says:

    I see that the YouGov poll tonight shows the NotoAV campaign 18 points ahead, weighted by intention to vote.

    Like

  76. 237
    Unfuckingbelievable says:

    A musician performing Kung Fu Fighting on his flute in public was arrested after a chinese man called 999 to say it was ray cist. Thankfully the police quickly de-arrested him once they had all the facts. This is an absolute fucking joke. Playing Kung Fu Fighting on a flute is ray cist now?! What about all the black comics whose material consists entirely of “white people do this, but black people do this”.

    Like

    • 258
      The Paragnostic says:

      It’s obviously ray cist – it was sung by that famous white supremacist Carl Douglas.

      Why the bloody coppers didn’t explain to the slitty eyed whingers that Mr Douglas is, in fact, Jamaican is a mystery…

      Like

  77. 239

    fabian_solutions
    Today 08:29 PM
    The British public will vote YES on 5 May and usher in a new era of permanent, consensual progressive rule.

    Don’t you ever get tired of being wrong?
    Its been about 130 years now.

    Like

    • 255
      AC1 says:

      It’s just Malthus, AGW, Eugenics, Marxism, multiculturalism and subsidised immigration that they got wrong…

      They must’ve got something right (can’t think of anything!).

      Like

  78. 240
    Lisa Nandy says:

    I’ve been offered photospreads for FHM, Nuts and Zoo magazines. Should I do them?

    Like

  79. 241
    QWERTY says:

    Little slip from Nu Liebour supporter Michael Prick on Newsnight. Sticking the knife into Cameron over the “calm down dear” joke Prick slipped by talking about “Brown’s people” in reference to the story. Brown’s people? Would that be Ed Testicles by chance Prick? I wondered who gave you your orders.

    Like

  80. 244
    nell says:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2011/apr/27/gdp-growth-flatlines-cameron-accused-of-complacency

    last week militwit and bullyballs were crowing to the media that we were heading for a double dip recession. Now it appears thats untrue and we have 0.5%growth.

    now balls , who helped gordon put the economy in the ditch, is saying that cameron and osborne are being complacent.

    i bet labour and edmilitwit are rueing the day they made balls shadow chancellor. He has as much charisma as a wet dishcloth left in the sink to go smelly.

    Like

  81. 246
    nell says:

    I think the modbot needs new batteries guido.

    Like

  82. 249
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    Another league Ed and I successfully got the Country relegated from.

    http://econ.st/laNRsU

    Like

  83. 250
    nell says:

    Well talking of labour and cleavage ( as in distraction politics), where is mandy and nate tonight.

    They’re not anywhere near saifalislam by any chance are they? Hmm?

    Like

  84. 251
    Ned Hughes says:

    Polly Toynbee smells of wee.
    Because she’s very old, you see?

    Like

  85. 265
    I bet Lisa Nandy gives great tit wanks says:

    Angela Eagle is ugly. Lisa Nandy is sexy.

    Like

  86. 268
    I bet Lisa Nandy gives great tit wanks says:

    For those who missed “Calm Down Dear” and Lisa Nandy’s juicy baps, you can catch the repeat of pmqs on bbc parliament right now.

    Like

  87. 270
    I bet Lisa Nandy gives great tit wanks says:

    Glorious melons on channel 81 now.

    Like

  88. 272
    Titty watch says:

    Calm down dear,

    Mr Pandya in Leicester knows how to spice up a byelection!

    http://www.thisisleicestershire.co.uk/news/Outrage-prospective-MP-condemns-Islam-blog/article-3491966-detail/article.html

    Like

  89. 273
    I bet Lisa Nandy gives great tit wanks says:

    Calm down, you ugly rat faced shrill Labour c unt.

    Like

  90. 274
    I bet Lisa Nandy gives great tit wanks says:

    I loved how Cameron said “I’m not going to apologise, you do need to calm down”.

    Like

  91. 283
    Logistics says:

    These peple camped out on the streets for the royal wedding. Where do they go to take a shit and a shower? And what do they do with all their camping gear?

    Like

    • 284
      Eeu to me says:

      I thought they buzzed off when the telly reporters went away, they’re only hanging around so they can be on tv, sad gits if they are really camping out .

      Like

    • 287
      The people's PM says:

      It’s a bit mean of William not to invite Blair. He did afterall do a lot for his mum’s funeral.

      Like

    • 288
      UK Logistical Support Services says:

      Re: Shit…..Portaloos set up in St James park ? (I hope…otherwise take your shovel and dig a hole in the flower beds)People leave their camping gear in their tent ? In the UK it’s well known that your gear will still all be there when you return(especially any expensive electrical equipment or cash etc)Shower ? This is the UK….people camping out for such events don’t shower…have you never been to a music gig ?? (.anyway the forecast is for rain Friday so that’ll solve that…..) I suspect you must be an american as a BRIT would NEVER ask about where to “shit and SHOWER”…………..

      Like

      • 295
        Marcus Oatcakes says:

        they can come and have a shit around my house

        Like

      • 298
        A Socialist worker says:

        So the plod don’t mind people camping in the street, singing songs, lighting fires, covering themselves in paint and crowding the barriers as long as they are royalists?

        Like

  92. 291
    a commoner says:

    I hope tomorrow we get a better class of comment because it is the royal wedding you know

    something like ‘fuck the royal family and fuck the royal wedding and fuck our political system’ might do

    thank you

    Like

    • 301
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Oh, boring. I’m looking forward to comments such as “fuck me! *insert politician’s name here*’s head has just exploded! Someone shot him/her.”

      Hopefully it will be Cameron, Clegg or Milimong. Having not seen the guest list, I don’t know who else to cross my fingers for.

      Like

  93. 292
    PixieKing says:

    Naughty Guido. Following your post Lisa Nandy’s website (www.lisanady.co.uk) broke !

    The following message is posted by he ISP:

    Bandwidth Limit Exceeded

    The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.

    Appoint more Tits David and you shall be PM !

    Like

    • 293
      Bandwidth Limit Exceeded says:

      http://www.lisanandy.co.uk/

      Like

    • 308
      JH says:

      My browser says

      HTTP 509 38DD error

      Titwidth Limit Exceeded
      The server is temporarily unable to service your mucky request due to the site owner reaching his/her titwidth limit. Please try again later you dirty little bastard.

      Like

      • 313
        a commoner says:

        its funny cos these publicity seekeing whore mps always want to be ‘seen’ yet when it all goes tits up they kinda disapper

        mark harper mp has removed his website following his humiliating defeat over selling the forest of dean

        theyre all tossers

        Like

  94. 294
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have been up all night making sure the elephants don’t escape

    Like

  95. 297
    If you've got it flaunt it says:

    This bloke seems hypnotised by them.

    Like

  96. 299
    Champion says:

    Her right tit has won a Rosette

    Backing our candidate Mike Dewhurst for Douglas Ward

    Like

    • 304
      I want my money back says:

      So the £634.99p camera that the taxpayer bought her for Good quality images to record constituency engagements has not exactly been put to good use then? I would have thought using it for electioneering, which she is, is against the expenses rules.

      http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanandy/

      Like

      • 316
        Ben Elton says:

        I would have thought using it for electioneering, which she is, is against the expenses rules.

        If Mrs Thatch had not stolen her school milk she would have understood this.

        Like

  97. 302
    David Cameron says:

    I’ve joined a new social network and am now able to link up with other, like-minded individuals.

    The Sex Offenders Register

    Like

  98. 305
    Martin Day says:

    David Cameron is a classic example of a liar politician…….Watch this space…….

    Pensioners can claim up to £400 tax-free each winter to help them pay heating bills, and David Cameron guaranteed to protect the benefit in the run-up to last year’s General Election.

    He said on the campaign trial: “We will keep the winter fuel allowance. Let me take this opportunity to say very clearly to any pensioner … you know you are getting letters from the Labour Party that say the Conservatives would cut the winter fuel allowance, would cut the free bus travel, would cut the free television licence.

    “These statements by Labour are quite simply lies. I don’t use the word ‘lie’ very often, but I am using it today because they are lies.”

    Like

  99. 306
    JH says:

    Here is Lisa serving the Wigan public in a role more suited to her intellect and figure.

    Pack of Scampi Fries with that, love.

    Like

    • 321
      Michael Cole says:

      Pretoria? ~How dare this awful Tori woman make light of the plight of apartheid South Africa. David Cameron should be ashamed to have her in his party. I presume the picture was taken at the Bullingdon Club?

      Like

  100. 307
    fabian booblover says:

    I think posters here should be ashamed of themselves.

    We can never have a 1000 year progressive government when males cannot contain themsevfuaaAAAARKIN HELL LOOK AT THOSE BRISTOLS.

    Like

  101. 309
    JH says:

    Have to say, I am a bit of a convert. She would definitely get it.

    She has that look that says, ‘filth’.

    When she isn’t mardy as f*ck about something or other, that is.

    Like

  102. 314
    Rem Raw Wand says:

    Best optical illusion ever. It looks as if the MP behind Harriet Harman, Lady Antonia Fraser’s cousin, is slapping her on the head with the sheets of paper because the upper class twit is ignoring the right honourable working class person type who could not get a position on the front bench for not being the right class and not having gone to the right schools.

    Like

  103. 317
    Disco Stew says:

    I must admit,her tits caught my eye straightaway.

    Like

  104. 318
    Anonymous says:

    I found it strange that the Telegraph didn’t report accurately on Asdagate where Alex Salmond – surrounded by the assembled media – was meeting staff and customers when Scottish Labour leader Iain Gray happened to pop in! STV has video footage of Gray racing out of the door, nearly knocking a customer down, when he realised that the First Minster was in the store. http://news.stv.tv/election-2011/245397-asdagate-alex-salmond-and-iain-gray-accused-of-hiding-from-each-other-during-supermarket-visit/
    Worse was the attempted Labour spin on the event that the SNP leader hid from Gray??!! Didn’t they realise that Salmond was surrounded by a press pack and that Gray’s swift exit was caught on camera?? Or was it a botched Labour attempt to mitigate another Iain Gray retreat out of Central Station and in and out of a Subway shop when confronted with a few protesters the other week http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S67QyGVHALk

    Like

  105. 319
    Gordon Brown says:

    300! not out

    Like

  106. 322
    chris says:

    Which boobs does she mean the ones in the picture or Ed Miliband

    Like

  107. 323
    Cry God for England! Harry! and Saint Paul! says:

    My columnist heroine appears to have joined the Mail.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1382211/PETRONELLA-WYATT-I-IRA-target—aged-12.html

    Petronella’s mother famously rang the Telegraph to inform them that “Petsy” could not be in that day as she was sick.
    Her mother was informed that “Petsy” was actually present in front of the guy who was taking the call (Guidos passim ) to which her mother replied oh it is tomorrow she will be missing due to being sick.

    Saint Paul’s alumni Harriet Harman Dame Shirley Williams

    Like


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