April 20th, 2011

Calamity Kenny Curses Caledonia

Regular readers will remember the adventures of Kenny Young, Ed Miliband’s “Press Office Manager”. After a series of calamities the emphasis in Labour circles is on the “office manager” part of the title. On bigotgate day, rumour has it that young Kenny’s contribution to the “how the hell are we going to spin this one chat?” was to suggest they say Gordon had said “bighearted”.

Since his promotion from Gordon’s Door-Opener in Chief , Kenny has wound up so many people in Team Miliband  that they dispatched him to Scotland a few weeks ago. Kenny is on load as pointman to Iain Gray, Scottish Labour’s dull and insipid leader, for the duration of the Scottish elections.

Sadly for Kenny though, Labour’s collapse in the polls up north began soon after his arrival, and yesterday The Sun switched its support to the SNP. Not because of Murdoch’s new-found love of William Wallace, but in order hit Miliband where it hurts – in the Labour heartland.

The Scottish Labour campaign has been as dreary and cack-handed as their leader, who is remarkably less human than Miliband. Even with the might of Kenny on board they have been unable to overcome the inexplicable charm of Salmond. It’s going to be an interesting dispatches from the front when Calamity Kenny ventures back south, if there’s even a job for him upon his return. 


  1. 1
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Glad to see the sun oppoesing Lanbour, socailisim must be wiped of the map!


    • 10
      Frank the Greek says:

      In your dreams, Billy Bumfluff. The prevailing consensus among the populace is Liberal left.
      How do you think Dave got elected?


      • 27
        misterned says:

        By getting more Conservative votes and a bigger share of the vote than Tony Blair did in 2005?

        Ask yourself why the tories have fallen in the polls since? Because tories are still waiting for a tory government.


        • 35
          Frank the Greek says:

          If it’s that obvious, how come Dave doesn’t see it that way?


          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            Dismal Dave doesn’t see it that way because he is stupid. There is no majority Liberal-left consensus either.
            Ask anyone about how they feel about traditional Conservative policy such as, law and order, education, lowering government regulation and spending, immigration etc and the Liberal-left ‘consensus’ is blown right out of the water.
            It’s a cosy construct between the political elite, which enables them to avoid dealing with the very real problems, their collective Liberal-left stupidity, has been largely responsible for.


    • 12
      labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      Independance for scotchland, so the English can be rid of those England hateing socialists.


    • 54
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Vince Cable proud to have stopped Conservative policies.


      • 117
        SocialGhism says:

        Vince is a National Tit (I only put the word “National” in there to stop him going nuclear)


    • 150
      Minerva says:

      Socialism is going to gain ground under this Conservative government. The cuts are too deep, the unemployed too many. His policies are effectively biting into the profits of those that he represents. The banks go unchecked. We are heading for a double dip recession. It will lead to his downfall especially with that distasteful Clegg alongside him.


  2. 2
    Steven Gerrrrrrarrrrrrrrrrrd says:

    Go King Kenny!


  3. 3
    nell says:


    kenny seems to have been in charge of spinning for bullyballs as well. bullyballs now believes he is the ‘new blair’ !!

    Clearly he’s a fruit and nut cake just like gordon.


  4. 4
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Guido, I do wonder if this has anything to do with Edward Miliband asking for a public/full inquiry into phone hacking , Edward only spoke yeaterday about it, Looks like the love in with New/old labour is well and truly over.

    Ed Miliband is no Leader.

    O/T On a point of Order Guido Fawkes sir, Last Friday you published the weekly caption contest and as a note you said you would annouce previous winners on Monday, My question is this , what Monday?

    thankyou for your paitence.


    • 9
      the beast of billy bowdens bumhole says:

      “thankyou for your paitence.”

      Sorry, we’ve run out.


    • 32
      WTF says:

      Who are these sad tossers (Bowden being top of the list) that seem to have nothing better to do than make endless, and frequently completely inane, comments on any and every story appearing on this blog. Nobody really cares – try setting up your own blog and see who bothers to read it.


  5. 5
    Sir William Waad says:

    I expect the Scotch will nevertheless vote Labour when the time comes.

    “The dog returns to its vomit
    The sow returns to its mire
    And the fool’s bandaged finger
    Goes wabbling back to the fire”

    as Kipling put it.


    • 37
      Anonymous says:

      Sir William opens his racist maw yet again.

      You, Sir, are a tiresome bore.


      • 51
        The Paragnostic says:

        Racist how? For daring to quote Kipling?

        Or for pointing out the feeble minded dependency culture that afflicts the Caledonian cretins? Fuck’s sake, the lunatics are now trying to blow up a football manager because he gets up early on Sunday!



    • 39
      Southern Softy says:

      As in – My Grandad voted Liebour, my Dad voted Liebour and I vote Liebour cos I can’t think for myself, and I have no ambition.


      • 40
        Noisy neighbours downstairs says:

        This situation would NEVER happen in England of course.


        • 122
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          In England we correct our mistakes, sadly in scotchland and whales, they find such behaviour impossible.


          • D Pict says:

            In England we correct our mistakes, sadly in scotchland and whales, they find such behaviour impossible.

            Polly Toynbee and Harriet Harman still have jobs. When will they be jobless?


  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Why is Salmond known as Great Pudding of the Chieftain race?


  7. 13
    Gooey Blob says:

    I wonder if he had anything to do with Miliband’s decision to back the wrong horse in the AV vote too? Miliband needs a new team around him quickly if he is to be in place at the next GE, as he seems to be on the wrong side of the big arguments at the moment.


    • 14
      Frank the Greek says:

      He’s just a stopgap. Much like Hague was in ’77.


      • 16
        Tippex covers a multitude of sins says:

        ’77 ? Surely “The Sainted Margaret” was Conservative Leader then having beaten, Ted the Conductor , the Grandfather of “Dave”, in the leadership contest of 1975…having said that though this site’s typing standard is generally “shite” so you’re excused


        • 19
          Frank the Greek says:

          Apologies. ’97.
          The years and the faces tend to merge into one sick nightmare of groundhog day.


    • 15
      Anonymous says:

      He’s on the wrong side of the argument of life FFS. He’d have to be very careful visitng a home for the mentally impaired, they’d never let the fucker out.


  8. 18
    J Alan Jones says:

    One cannot but admire their level of incompetence. It needs hard to understand skill. Is it rude to laugh?


  9. 21
    BillyBob.....time to ban the burpa !! says:

    Chop off ‘is knob the knob !!


    • 29
      Alan Yentob ate my dog, he sliced and he diced and he stuck it in wok then ate it's hairy cock says:

      Is that you Alan Yentob?


  10. 22
    nell says:

    By the by is militwit invited to the royal wedding?

    Is he going to wear tails? I do hope his wife to be will stir herself enough to buy a new dress out of tesco’s rather than wearing that old one she bought last year.


    • 26
      The turkey in the Laura Ashley twinset waving a union jack says:

      He is and you’re not.
      Life’s a bitch.


      • 31
        Woof Woof says:

        Wonder if James Hewitt is invited seeing he is the best mans real dad after all…..


      • 50
        nell says:

        Oh good lord no.

        I’lll leave the traipsing in and out of westminster abbey in crippling 4″ louboutin heels to the ‘upper classes’.

        Young Nell and I are having a picnic party, complete with bunting in front of the tv that day.


        • 68
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          Will there be something good on TV that day?

          Ah i see. “a matter of loaf and death” and shrek. A kojak film?


          • nell says:

            If you can find an old kojak film sockpuppet I’ll happily join you whilst Young Nell watches her ideal princess walk down the aisle.

            But you have to understand, to the young pre-teenage mind, this is an ordinary lass just like one of them marrying a prince and becoming a princess. A real fairy tale.

            And for us oldies , after 13 years of depressing labour, robbed pensions, high taxes, ruined economies and dreary labour puritanism imposed on we common folks whilst labour lived it up and troughed off the state, this is a feelgood moment, rather like the marriage of her maj after WW2.


          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            There is a kojak film a week on friday.

            There won’t be any unicorns on the other sides though will there?


  11. 28
    Superstar Billy Graham Fan says:



  12. 30
    Rolf's big brush says:

    Captain Lisa Jane Head becomes yet another member of the Explosive Ordanance Disposal Regiment to die from an IED.
    Dave promises P*kistan expertise in dealing with IEDs.

    Can you see what it is yet?


    • 33
      Hello M15 drone reading this comment, Yes I'm jesting says:

      It would be poetic irony if Dave was blown up by one.


    • 59
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      Dave’s just given them £650m to improve their IED building techniques – they’re far more likely to spend it on that than on ‘education’.


    • 113
      JH says:

      Translation: we’ll reveal our defusing methods and approach, so your Mooslim brothers can go and build bombs with booby traps matched to our technique.


    • 133
      David Cameron PM says:

      Fresh meat for the grinder!


  13. 36
    Big Boss Of The South, Smiling With your B**ch says:

    I see Bernard Matthews are pulling out all the stops with the new swank ad campaign to try and salvage the brand after it descended to dog-shit levels of fail during the crisis at their factories with bird flu.


  14. 56
    I says:

    As above “Kenny is on load as pointman to Iain Gray,….”

    So many comments in and still not sure whether Guido meant “on load” or “on loan” ?


  15. 58
    nell says:


    Are we sure young kenny is working in scotland and not still advising militwit.

    I see militwit has just issued a public invitation for vince cable to jump ship and join labour.

    Looks to me like he’s trying to do the coalition a favour. There can’t be many in government, libdem or tory, who wouldn’t rejoice to see the back of the bumbling cable.


  16. 61
    Steve Roland says:

    My brother and his fiance are due to have their baby soon, so the other day I had a bit of a splurge in Mothercare.

    Thankfully I was wearing dark trousers, so no one really noticed.


  17. 62
    Is AV already here. says:

    Those malt swilling folk north of Hadrian’s wall are voting Labour to stop the SNP. There is of course no point voting Con.
    So who would you put second on the voting slip if the AV nonsense gets a yes?
    Oh what a glorious web we weave………….


    • 105
      Oy vay says:

      It is not compulsory to put a second choice anywhere if you don’t want to. This is not a competition to see who can fill up the most boxes. Och aye the noo.


      • 108
        Sir Everard Digby says:

        There’s a thought -if you market AV as a type of bingo,the turnout would be amazing….could be a few riots though once the winners found out what the prize was…


  18. 63
    William "Miss Carriage" Hague says:

    Regime change. That’s the thing, except it’s not, obviously. It’s humanitarian relief, administered with a no flies zone, and based upon the concept of bedfellows all sharing the available facilities. No boots on the ground, apart from some lithe chaps clad in suitable chinos with button down collars, just a liason with swarthy gentleman looking for love.
    This is not mission creep, this is real politik.


  19. 71
    Ghost of Hadrian says:

    We considered bringing them into the Empire but the benefits bill would have been horrendous so we built a wall to keep the fuckers out and just let them get on with it. 2000 years of inbreeding and you get the modern Scot.


  20. 76
    Fifer says:

    Drippy G(r)ay is not leadership material & Scottish Labour are full of sh*t as usual. Yet they are still Scots who vote for these corrupt arsewipes.
    I am not a Nationalist but I hope SNP win. Many unionist & business people support the Nats as they have delivered on most of their promises and are a competent party in power.
    Murdoch knows the Nats will struggle for independence and this is the main reason he supports them. Unlike Labour the SNP support business and the disastrous Tram project may have swung Murdoch’s support from Labour to SNP. Anyhow, let’s hope Murdoch has backed the winner.


  21. 77
    Feegie Bampot says:

    HERE’S the stark evidence that voting Labour makes you sick, jobless, badly educated and poor.

    Read more: http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/3534292/Heres-evidence-voting-Labour-can-make-you-sick-jobless-badly-educated-poor.html#mySunComments#ixzz3ftYvDHJJ


    • 79
      Anonymous says:

      Hahahahahahaha…..even the thickos might understand this one, but I doubt it!


      • 81
        Anonymous says:

        BTW, I think Fawkes should stick this one on his side bar!


        • 128
          Sicko says:

          Particularly striking was when the article said:

          “Figures out last month also show that Britain’s bankruptcy blackspots are Kirkcaldy, Glenrothes and Livingston – with more ordinary families going bust there than anywhere else.”

          For once, I’ll resist making a flip comment about Brown.


    • 100
      The Paragnostic says:

      There may be lies, damned lies and statistics, but so many measures indicating that voting Liebour leads to an early death must be telling.

      Incidentally, I have always found the ladies of Calton very accommodating, though not as fiery as the lasses from Cathcart or Paisley…


  22. 78
    Adam Smith says:

    Get the anti-capitalist fuck – up Brown oot of Kirkcaldy.


  23. 80
    Jack says:

    I would like to hack at you with an ‘EFFIN AXE!


  24. 82
    ichabod says:

    F*ck me, isn’t that Orla Guerin a gruesome sight. I’m watching her on the news, with the picture off. No she sounds frightening as well, so over to ITV.


  25. 83
    Larry the Cat says:

    Yeah! I have a wee queen in Scatland! Purrr! I like Salmon.


  26. 84
    Labour for the SNIP says:

    Millie met gray up here in Scotland recently and the feedback from the front line was that gray , yes the grey gray, was far more positive and dynamic than millie.
    Now that is some achievement, but does not look good for our millie’s image when face to face with the real public – a spooky nerd with far too heavy make up was the gossip.


  27. 85
    We need a hero says:

    Unlike most of the hot air emanating here, this guy is taking the fight to the enemy and deserves every support.



  28. 86
    ichabod says:

    B*gger me, i’m watching Newsnight with Emily Maitlis and she’s bloodywell dressed for the beach ! White teeshirt, calf length white slacks. Christ has she no dress sense ?


    • 88
      Itchy and Scratchy says:

      Be honest. You’re looking well beyond the outfit.


    • 99
      Colonel Blimp says:

      You mean you’re WITH her?
      Lucky bugger!
      (“i’m watching Newsnight with Emily Maitlis”)


      • 119
        ichabod says:

        Actually no I wouldn’t be a ‘lucky bugger’ as EM is not really, for me, a dream dish . But that newsreader, Mishel Hussein…..now there is a scrumptious piece of tv totty. She is a definite MILF, Mus*im I Would to Frolic with.


  29. 87
    George Osborne says:

    The proposed hike in the EU budget is totally unacceptable, so i’ll huff and i’ll puff until we settle for a more moderate rise.


  30. 89
    robbie says:

    It must have been Kenny presumably who asked the Gray man recently if he “fancied a Subway” after being confronted by one man and a dog at Glasgow Central station- and probably drafted the famous “killing fields” valediction of Gray’s ignominious retreat.

    That being the case he certainly has had an impact- I suspect not the one RedEd had in mind.

    Ironically RedEd has done our country a big favour. The Gray man is a nightmare from which we have been hopefully saved.


  31. 91
    Down with Brown! says:

    Kelvin McK brilliant on Newsnight at the moment.


  32. 92
    The South Bank helmet says:

    W*yne Ro*ney, Ew*n M*Gregor and Boris Johnson have all been through Kate Middleton, but a super injunction forbids mention of the names involved.
    However Boris Johnson, in a statement tonight, said he always wore the appropriate attire, unlike others he could mention.


  33. 96
    Ben Elton says:

    That evil Tory is only down there to eye up the blonde’s arse. I blame Benny Hill. And MRS. THATCH


  34. 98
    Colonel Blimp says:

    That scotch salmond is remarkably ugly.


  35. 103
    • 129
      Sicko says:

      Don’t let his gimmicky presentation get in the way of the salient points he makes, such as governments always wanting to inflate their way out of debt.


  36. 109

    A sound argument as to why the MPC should start raising interest rates sooner than later:



  37. 110
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Hugh Bonneville (born 10 November 1963), born Hugh Richard Bonneville Williams, is an English stage, film, television and radio actor.

    He supports super-injunction legislation.


    • 114
      ichabod says:

      He’s a real force of nature….


    • 136
      Carter-Ruck & Partners says:

      H-h-how dare YOU defy MY power – I shall rain molten lead on your heads! You’re all gonna get injuncted till Doomsday! I’ll show YOU!!


  38. 111
    Nurse Pilgrim says:

    Vote Labour on May 5th

    “I’ll be overseas next week. I have a handful of super-injunctions. I’m an Irish citizen. Blog is hosted in the USA, might have some fun…”

    Good Morning


  39. 112
    Robin Git says:

    “Scottish Labour’s dull and insipid leader”
    Not according to James “Red” Naughty on the Labour supporting Toady Programme on radio 4 this morning. It was the usual party political programme with the usual lies and half truths and little if any scrutiny.
    And they wonder why BBC Scotland and Labour are losing in the polls.


  40. 115
    Junkers says:

    the sole reason for the bank bailout was to shore up the vote of the idle


  41. 116
    Simon says:

    Let’s make Kenny a Labour MSP IMMIDIATELY! The Labour group is piss-poor anyway so Kenny will add to the hilarity. Has he done a Bryant yet?


  42. 118
    David Cameron says:

    I want you all to know that despite the impending war in Libya and the request from the EU for more money from you and ,of course , our continuing war in Afghanistan that the british government really does love you all


    • 125
      Eeu to me says:

      I think you will understand when I say don’t get too comfortable at number 10, you may find your coalition partner a bit techy after May 6th, but don’t worry your little blue Liebour heart your cards are marked and hopefully will be following your friends in a similar taxi.


  43. 123
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Sell scotland to the socailist paradise of er…..hmmmmm…………ermmmmmmmmm…………


  44. 124
    Nemo says:

    Guido are you sure Kenny Boy was just acting as a door stop for his master you can take it both ways, it could be an excuse for getting an eye full of totty leg, in any case I didn’t know Gordy was some sort of royalty.


  45. 126
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    Clegg wrote a shallow piece of shite in the DT today about AV. He forgot to say that he would benefit from AV and stay in power without having to act upon any of his manifesto pledges/promises. The bllcks about MPs being more accountable is laughable. According to the Downing St website he has special responsibilities for political and constitutional reform- when is he going to clean up politics or refer Laws to the police for investigation?? Gordon you have another son!!!!!!!!!!


  46. 132
    gildedtumbril says:

    …less human than millipede…? Is there such a creature?


  47. 138
    Mad Jock McMad says:

    OOPs the old Scotland votes Labour gag is about to be derailed big time…

    Its seems on current voting intentions the SNP are about to get a majority on the 5th May.

    Glasgow’s Labour Tammany Hall equivalent is already very glum and ‘doon in the mooth’ because if Labour (North British Branch) get the kicking it looks like they are heading for then they are ‘fir ra bit an thir jotters’ in 2012 and an end to the most corrupt council in Scotland.

    A council where its not who you know but what you put in plain brown envelops that counts when you want a contract ‘fae the cooncil’ or to open yet another pub or off license (rate when last disclosed is around £2,000 to the chair of the Glasgow City licensing committee for a drinks license).

    Labour the party with its back pocket at heart …


  48. 141
    Mad Jock McMad says:

    Kenny’s latest gaff – organised a photograph opportunity for Elmer Fudd (aka Labour’s glove puppet in Scotland) and the Labour Perth North constituency candidate in the wrong constituency. …. yes not only is Labour’s moral compass completely duff they can not even use a Silva compass to tell the difference between North and South.


  49. 146
    Anonymous says:

    I’m a Scot and have decided to vote SNP with the first vote and green with the second.

    In many ways, the SNP are like what Labour were many years ago. They believe in free education up to degree level. They want to end regressive taxes like the council tax and make it income based (progressive). The SNP believe in proportional representation even though the polls currently have them on 45% of the FPTP vote in a four party system etc.

    I like the SNP and am warming to the idea of independence. I’ve been working in Norway a lot recently when you compare their way of life to life in London I just can see no reason to part a country dominated by a city like that and the surrounding areas that is very different culturally to the way it is here.


  50. 147
    Cream Puff says:

    The Jonah Brown syndrome seems to have struck in the Scottish Elections, few days after Brown is asked (yes they had to ask him) to campaign in Fife, the new polls confirm the SNP are well ahead of Labour.In a subsequent poll for Labours Holyrood leader, it showed a possiblity that Grey would actually loose his seat!
    Labour’s answer to all this is to send up the twin Ed’s (Balls and Moribund) as well as Eddie Izzard. Somehow London based Labour just dont get the idea that Scots dont like being told by Englishmen how to vote


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