Calamity Kenny Curses Caledonia

Regular readers will remember the adventures of Kenny Young, Ed Miliband’s “Press Office Manager”. After a series of calamities the emphasis in Labour circles is on the “office manager” part of the title. On bigotgate day, rumour has it that young Kenny’s contribution to the “how the hell are we going to spin this one chat?” was to suggest they say Gordon had said “bighearted”.

Since his promotion from Gordon’s Door-Opener in Chief , Kenny has wound up so many people in Team Miliband  that they dispatched him to Scotland a few weeks ago. Kenny is on load as pointman to Iain Gray, Scottish Labour’s dull and insipid leader, for the duration of the Scottish elections.

Sadly for Kenny though, Labour’s collapse in the polls up north began soon after his arrival, and yesterday The Sun switched its support to the SNP. Not because of Murdoch’s new-found love of William Wallace, but in order hit Miliband where it hurts – in the Labour heartland.

The Scottish Labour campaign has been as dreary and cack-handed as their leader, who is remarkably less human than Miliband. Even with the might of Kenny on board they have been unable to overcome the inexplicable charm of Salmond. It’s going to be an interesting dispatches from the front when Calamity Kenny ventures back south, if there’s even a job for him upon his return. 

Sorry Tail

Cameron has seen the error of his ways and realised that he is very low down on the agenda at the Royal Wedding and should not use State occasions for tacky political gimmicks. After confirming to James Forsyth at the weekend that the PM would not be wearing a tail coat at the wedding, a spokesman reaffirmed the lounge suit line to Reuters yesterday. Since then the PM has been attacked by pretty much everyone, including Boris, with the Telegraph particularly heartbroken. It’s no surprise then that No.10 have had one of those “fix this quickly” whispers in Ben Brogan’s ear this morning:

“Of course he’s got to wear tails. He knows that. He’s the Prime Minister, it’s the Royal family, there will be foreign dignitaries present and it is only right that he dresses for the importance of the occasion,” 

The source went on to stress that Dave hadn’t been properly consulted and blamed a spinner. Seems this is another episode where the chance to pull off a cheap gimmick has been totally misjudged in terms of the public mood and it has subsequently unravelled. Commonsense, duty and politeness 1, Steve Hilton nil.

Red Ed Poll Lead Dead

Despite Westminster being abandoned, it has been a long political week, that has thrown up an interesting poll by Ipos-Mori. Political Betting report that the Tories are back up to 40%, level-pegging with Labour. Despite the NHS reforms apple cart being kicked over and Miliband constantly popping up all over the place making speeches, his lead is has disappeared. The continued dire LibDem percentage doesn’t bode well for the Yes campaign.

Guido wonders how far ahead Labour would be by now with David in charge…

Quote of the Day

Labour’s Tom Harris MP tweets on Gordon Brown…

“I’m consistent – I wanted to send him to the IMF in 2009.”

Easy Solution to Ermine Concern

The 792 peers have decreed that the upper chamber is too full. They have asked the PM not to ennoble anyone else as they have run out of  coat hooks and headed paper. Just a fraction of this 792 are active working peers who devote themselves to their constitutional role as scrutineers. There is no denying there is plenty of deadwood and corrupt expenses fiddlers who got away with crimes far worse that Lord Taylor. It’s a job for life though.

Here’s a simple idea, if there are too many Lords theen there should be a system in place that can see the bad ones kicked out, and the good ones rewarded, by keeping their jobs. New people could put themselves forward and the public could support them. Think there’s a name for this process… Ah yes, an elected chamber.



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Liam Fox shreds Cameron’s Calais scaremongering:

“Sad and disappointed to see our Prime Minister stoop to this level of scaremongering, especially as he knows the Calais agreement is nothing to do with the EU and agreed between the two govts”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

LEAK: LANSMAN MOCKS “CLUELESS” UNITE CHIEF LEAK: LANSMAN MOCKS “CLUELESS” UNITE CHIEF
CARSWELL: “NOT GOING TO CRITICISE FELLOW EUROSCEPTICS” CARSWELL: “NOT GOING TO CRITICISE FELLOW EUROSCEPTICS”
SUNNY DAYS AHEAD FOR SCRAPBOOK SUNNY DAYS AHEAD FOR SCRAPBOOK
HOW MANY MPS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A SOAP DISPENSER? HOW MANY MPS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A SOAP DISPENSER?
KEN PREDICTS MCDONNELL WILL BE NEXT LABOUR LEADER KEN PREDICTS MCDONNELL WILL BE NEXT LABOUR LEADER
Don’t Criticise Fellow Brexiteers Don’t Criticise Fellow Brexiteers
EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN
PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER
LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL
VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH
SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE
SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING
UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU
HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME
BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET
GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM
BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD
WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’ WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’
SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW
DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM
FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED
UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT” UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT”
STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’ STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’
CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL” CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL”
BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH
9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS 9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS
CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA
Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie” Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie”
CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT