April 12th, 2011

Boris Ally Sir Simon Milton Dies

One of the key players in Team Boris has died. Sir Simon Milton, 49, was not just a Deputy Mayor, but Boris’s most senior appointed advisor. The extent of his influence over Boris was summed up by Tory uber-spinner Peter Bingle two months ago:

“Every successful political leader needs somebody who they can trust. Somebody who can translate ideas into policies. Somebody who is both loyal and effective. Boris Johnson is very fortunate to have Simon Milton. Last night at a dinner he dazzled the guests with his knowledge, intellect, political nouse and humour.

Simon is more popular with Labour council leaders than was ever the case with Ken. Thanks to Simon, Boris has a good chance of winning a second and final term in 2012. No other Tory would have a chance but then again Boris is no other Tory. The history books will be very generous about Simon’s contribution…”

Details from a London hospital are still sketchy tonight.  Developing…


  1. 1
    Maybe 2 AV support by Kenny MacMymindup. says:

    What a shame. Poor guy


    • 17
      SO says:


      I hope the Left didn’t do him in…wouldn’t be the first time.


      • 95
        Anonymous says:

        I think he was done in by his lifestyle this is one of the few things that can’t be blamed on socialism or the last Labour Government. He made his bed etc.


        • 96
          stun says:

          15 year battle with leukaemia, according to Politics Home.


        • 100
          Anonymous says:

          Nothing to do with lifestyle. His lifestyle is not an unhealthy option. It’s phobic to say so.


          • Anonymous says:

            Er….ever heard of AIDS and how it affects the gay population dispropotionately? Twat.


          • Alex says:

            April 12, 2011 at 11:29 am

            So because AIDS affects the gay community disproportionately, any gay man who dies without details is an AIDS casualty in your book?

            Amazed you have the cheek to call other people twats you ignorant and small minded little bigot.


        • 101
          Jacqueline says:

          What a great comment. And anonymous as well. Congratulations.


        • 119
          Breton says:

          You are a total idiot.


          • Anonymous says:

            Peter Phillips, not anonymous.
            If you insists upon sticking your thing up someone’s behind, you get what you deserve, AIDS!


  2. 2
    Not wishing to be alarmist but we've seen this before and we know how it turns out says:

    Does anyone know when Kate Middleton had something to eat ?


    • 4
      Adam says:

      Exactly what are you implying? I hope this is not some vulgar socialist reference to oral sex. She is your future queen you ungrateful little surf.


    • 6
      Urban Tory says:

      No but I did hear her mutter “let them eat cake” in a Brown-esq gaffe


      • 22
        SIR RODGER ALLBOYS says:

        FFS in days of old knights were real men with weapons of steel who fought for their king !
        nowadays they are little fairies who get nighted for attending to a different type of weapon !


        • 28
          Nemo says:

          Knighted is that something to do with Wimbledon Common?


        • 58
          helpful contributor says:

          In days of old when knights were bold
          Their suits were made of tin.
          Tey had to use a tin opener
          to get them out and in!



          • Must get a pseudonym one day says:

            In days of old when knights were bold
            And women weren’t invented,
            They just drilled holes in their flag-poles
            And stood there quite contented.


    • 35
      ichabod says:

      Not Wishing..(etc) ..is right, this woman looks as though she has an eating problem; we are being told that she’s losing weight so that she can get into her wedding gown. Hmm. From this mornings pictures it loos a little more serious than that.


      • 36
        Dick the Prick says:

        Still clamber on board though, eh?


      • 38
        The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick. says:

        Isn’t it ironic?

        Fish are now eating raw Japanese.


      • 40
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        “looks as though”. Presumbaly picture editors are looking at all the pics they get and selecting the ones where she’s looking slimmer.

        I bet if you took 100 photos per week, and chose the roughest and skinniest ones each time you could make that impression for almost anyone. (well. maybe not anyone).


    • 52
      I don't need no doctor says:



  3. 3
    socialism is a mental illness says:

    When the Grim Reaper extends his bony finger and taps you on the shoulder then…….my condolences to his family, chin up Boris.


  4. 5
    Urban Tory says:

    Unlucky chap, he has left some rather enormous boots to fill.

    Requiescat In Pace


  5. 8

    What a shock. RIP.


  6. 9
    Jimmy says:

    “Simon is more popular with Labour council leaders than was ever the case with Ken.”

    On the other hand Ken did more to get Boris elected.


  7. 10
    Jimmy says:

    btw if the poor chap’s dead then it what sense can the story be described as “developing”?


    • 13
      Dr Findlay's Casebook says:

      Rigor Mortis, for the next few hours. It’s a rapid progression of physiological change. Coincident with Livor Mortis and Algor Mortis. No idea if there will be an autopsy, but if not, decomposition will start to kick in after around 48 hours, the sub-processes of which have the delightful names of “fresh”, “bloat”, “active”, “advanced decay” and “putrefaction”. Ends with “skeletonisation”, but not for about 4 months from now.


  8. 11
    A Pensioner says:

    Call me hard-hearted, but another gay politician bites the dust. So what?


    • 12
      You heartless cunt says:

      If you really are a pensioner, let’s hope you’ll be dead soon too. Preferably lying in a pile of your own shit.


    • 16
      AC1 says:

      Dear Mr Soon,
      You’re hard-hearted.


    • 41
      Alex says:

      Why do you care so much about other people’s bedroom habits you vile old git?


      • 47
        Yeuch says:

        I don’t think that gays realise how vile most people find them and their habits.


        • 114
          Dr Kinsey says:

          Homophobia is in itself a manifestation of deeply supressed homosexual urges and sexual confusion.


          • Dr. Kinsey says:

            About my qualifications to comment, I am not a fraudster and a pervert! I didn’t slant the data to get a predetermined result. I’m not a AGW hoaxer. I didn’t film my wife masturbating, I didn’t sexually stimulate 6 month old children and I didn’t stick needles in my urethra, no!


        • 118
          Alex says:

          I find the idea of anal sex pretty unpleasant whether it’s between a man and a woman or two men – that doesn’t mean I automatically dislike those who practice it.

          Maybe you need to think about it less – seriously, do you go around thinking about what your straight friends get up to in the bedroom – sounds pretty creepy and perverted if you ask me.

          Personally, I prefer to take the what you see is what you get approach to my friends and acquaintances (and even enemies for that matter), whether they’re gay or straight.

          I think the fact that you’re suggesting that you can’t look at a gay couple without thinking about their private antics says more about you than anything else.


  9. 15
    Concerned says:

    Any death is sad, but the number of famous gay men who have died recently is a worry. Stephen Gately, Kristian Digby both in their 30s.


    • 20
      Stephen Fry says:

      I agree. I’s very worrying.


      • 37
        Dick the Prick says:

        I’ve already got your obituary ready to go. Stephen was a useless, thieving, coke snorting pervert and a famous heterophobe with no discernable talent and a pig ugly visage. The end.


        • 48
          Sir Wlliam Waad says:

          You need to make it more pretentious. “Stephen was a waggish fellow of somewhat questionable utility, by turns farceur, wit, mordant political commentator and antipodean to the homme moyen sensuel. Adored by the bourgeoisie that he liked to epater, he bestrode the televisual landscape like the conceited ass of Wodehousian proportions that he truly was. Never one to shirk a proper day’s work……(cont. p94)


      • 122
        phil b says:

        What an astonishingly cruel set of contributions. I’m very much a lefty – actually a progressive liberal if that means anything to anybody but the idea that people might heap abuse on a person because of his sexuality a decade into the 21st C is just horrible. doubt if the Mr Fry who commented above was the real Mr Fry but what he’s done to provoke the vile respose he seems to have got is incomprehensible.


    • 29
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      Any premature death is sad of course but unless there is a common thread running through the cause of these deaths then you just sound like some Nu-Labour PC moron


      • 39
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        or Jan Moir.

        His double chin looks slightly larger than me. Reminds me I must do more exercise and cut back on the Leffe.


  10. 18
    albacore says:

    Meanwhile, what’s rocking Boris’s leader’s boat is the number of black undergraduates at Oxford.
    Never again let the BBC be accused of lacking a sense of fun, given the candid snap of Dave’s Al Jolson impression accompanying the article.
    And I wonder which other comedian fed him the figures to complete the routine.



    • 67
      misterned says:

      Oxford not havin black bros is noffink to do wiv blacks being fick init, its raycist and that init. it makes sens wen u fink abaat it blood init.

      What are Oxford supposed to do? Lower the entry requirements just for black students? How would that be fair to anyone else?

      Blue labour have carried on the PC bullshit from where labour left off.


    • 87
      Titford Hat says:

      A moment’s observation will reveal that Oxford is chockfull of Chinese and Indians.


  11. 19
    Red Ed says:

    So Pwince William is marrying his live in Girlfriend because of carweer pwessures. Ith not fair.


  12. 21
    Nuclear World Order says:


    Japan finally raises nuclear crisis level to highest level.

    Reactors to take years to stabilise – radioactive releases to continue indefinitely.

    French NGO CRIIRAD advising European children and pregnant or breastfeeding women to avoid consuming vegetables with large leaves, fresh milk and creamy cheese, and “risky behaviour”.

    Nuclear industry upping advertising budget.

    Met Office could add daily radiation forecast to weather forecast.


  13. 24

    And he got knighted for what ?


    • 30
      Nemo says:

      Probably he was Boris’s minder to make sure that did did not put his size 12’s in too often, or probably he did the nitty gritty work and Boris did the junkets, but how many (those not in Tory circles) had heard of Sir Simon before Guido published this?


      • 43
        Alex says:

        So just because you’re politically ignorant means everyone else is too? Is that the best you can do?


        • 49
          Number 10's Cat says:

          The guy spends most of his time 20,000 leagues under the sea, of course he’s out of touch.


        • 54
          Nemo says:

          Well old cock, if tha’ frum up nuarth what goes on in London does not interest any one except for the clowns in HOC, only the more excentric ones like Boris
          catch the attention, just as old Blunkco attracted attention because he had the red flag flown over Sheffield city hall in the late 70’s (he became the most right wing HS for years)


  14. 25
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    O/T – iDave makes a further attempt to prove what a twat he is.


    It’s almost like he’s given up being heir to Blair and decided to become son of Toynbee.


    • 33
      Nemo says:

      iDave, that sounds a bit like iRobot, the trouble with politicos is that they make policy on the hoof, they do not think further ahead to the effects of their pronouncements months or even years ahead. It could be called chaos theory


      • 44
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

        It is only a matter of time before he uses the phrase “hideously white”.


        • 70
          WTF? says:

          I first saw Cameron on an edition of Question Time about a decade or more ago, and he was coming about with such bollocks then. Found it hard to believe he was a Tory then, let alone now.


          • Bill Postas says:

            I’ve said it before…the reason that Clegg and Cameron hit it off is that you could interchange them and either could be leader of the other’s party without the slightest adjustment to their individual beliefs


  15. 26
    will says:

    I met Sir Simon once he seemed like a very forthright and sensible person alos not afraid to take a stance. He will be missed


  16. 31
    Golden Brown says:

    Brown sold the gold approx 12 years ago = 4380 days

    Lost the UK approx $11,000,000,000

    that is approx $2,500,000 for every day

    Brown talks about prudence


    • 34
      Nemo says:

      Probably she was an ex-girl friend he went on about her.


    • 45
      Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

      But I did save the World, didn’t I ?


      • 46
        nell says:

        Now he and his ‘wife’ are raking in the £thousands by lecturing across the world.

        sarah in newyork the other day, gordon in abudhabi then in brettonwoods america….and on and on…………………

        All I can say is that the people who pay huge sums of money to attend these lectures to hears these abject failures speak must be very sad human beings.


      • 50
        from Spain says:

        £400,million a day in interest Labour left the tax payers of the UK,
        £400.000 million a day in interest you fucking Labour sheep.still cant see what the fuck Labour has done to your country.
        No wonder retail sales are down some Hunt has to pay the cerdit card.FFS


      • 59
        When has economics and financial prudence ever worried Labour says:

        I don’t know about that Gordon but you most certainly and most definitely fucked up the UK for at least two generations with the policies you pursued for 10 years before 2007…I still have a good laugh when I remember all the political/finacial commentators in the late 90’s and noughties who werorever telling us that you were the best Chancellor of the Exchequer the UK ever had !!!!!!!!!!!!


        • 69
          misterned says:

          And I remember writing to the media and commenting on blogs and forums at the time that Brown was not a genius. All he did discharge his responsibility for interest rates and let loose the banks to create more and more debt (in lieu of increasing productivity in the productive economy) and then over taxed and wasted much of the proceeds.

          I remember writing that this was an unsustainable situation and that the longer it took for the crash to happen, the worse it would be.

          I really wish that I had been wrong.


          • James says:

            Brown got lucky for the first 10 years as the world finacial situation was very calm and benign. Any fool can sail a boat on a mill pond. The minute the waters got a little choppy the boat overturned and we all drowned in debt.


  17. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Was it a chutney allergy?


  18. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Poor guy,only hope he wasn’t HIV positive and didn’t suffer any pain


  19. 53
    Martin Day says:

    What are you waiting for Nick ??

    The leader of the Liberal Democrats in Liverpool has called on Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg to pull out of the coalition Government.

    Warren Bradley, council leader until last year’s election, said he was “tired of defending the indefensible” and urged Mr Clegg to act “before we disappear into the annals of history”.

    Mr Bradley warned the party leader that long-serving Lib Dem councillors were set to lose their seats in elections on May 5 “not because of their record, but because of your record and the perception of what we as Liberal Democrats now are”.

    In a private email to Mr Clegg, leaked to the Liverpool Echo, he said: “Unfortunately the boil is about to come to a head and burst (probably on election night) when we lose some very well respected and experienced colleagues from Liverpool City Council.”

    Mr Bradley said the Lib Dems needed to “reconsider what and who we are before we disappear into the annals of history as a political party who promised so much hope, yet failed because they wanted control and power”.

    The party had “deserted their followers”, he said.

    He told Mr Clegg: “I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant, liberal principles have to shine through, we have to be independent and we have to sever ties from the coalition; if we fail to do this, we have only our parliamentarians to blame.”


    • 73
      misterned says:

      Why the fuck were the Liberal democrats ever in favour of Proportional Representation if they are unwilling to compromise on their polices?

      Lib Dems pulling out of the coalition would render them completely dead as a political force. Who the fuck would vote for a party that actively rejects being in power? A party that sets itself apart by being the only party that no longer wants to be in power and tells the whole world that it should be ignored, because it clearly does not want any of its policies implemented?

      The Liberal Democrats have already had far more power than their election result deserved. They have had more of their manifesto implemented than they deserved. They should be bloody grateful.


      • 93
        Bill Postas says:

        The LibDem’s have just announced a new slogan ahead of the elections on May 5th …”We tried government…..but we didn’t like it !”…Pretty catchy eh ? I think it’ll work !


      • 104
        hmmmm says:

        well said- they have been talking of consensus/compramise politics for years.Now is the time to put it in pratice- only they cant.
        That should be all you need to know about how well AV will work.


  20. 56
    Nakedputz says:

    He died on US Tax Freedom day. Aposite for a Thatcherite.

    UK Tax Freedom Day is not until May 29th



  21. 60
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:



  22. 63
    explosive diarrhoea says:

    Gordon Brown is an exceptionally stupid man

    The manner in which he sold the UK gold reserves costs us £1,600,000 every day


  23. 65
    Gordon Brown says:

    You can all thank Labour for laying the groundwork for a sound economy for many years to come

    Inflation unexpectedly dropped last month, official figures showed today, weakening the prospect of an imminent interest rate hike by policymakers at the Bank of England.

    The Consumer Prices Index (CPI) rate of inflation was 4% in March, down from 4.4% in February, but still double the Government’s 2% target, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) said.

    City analysts had expected the CPI rate to hold at 4.4%.

    The drop in the cost of living was driven by falling food prices, the ONS said, which slipped 1.4% – the biggest month-on-month drop since between June and July 2007 – as supermarkets rolled out heavy discounts to draw in cautious consumers


    • 75
      misterned says:

      And you should see the BBC response. After spending this morning fearmongering that inflation is accelerating and speculating about how much inflation will go up by today…

      Now it is all INFLATION DOWN SHOCK!!!

      When the fuck will this ball-less spineless bunch of pussies in the tory party going to do something about the BBC. The BBC is currently acting as labour’s PR company.


    • 78
      Twitcher says:

      One swallow does not a summer make.


  24. 66
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    On the Mayrol race Boris will win easy, It was made easier because Red Ken has decided to stand despite being rejected by the voters.


  25. 68
    No justice in the world says:

    Why are Gordon Brown and Ed Balls still alive?


  26. 71
    Languid Lansley says:

    ha ah ah aha ha…. Mod away Guido…. there are other bloggs. Tory Gay boy bites the dust.

    See ya on the 14th….really looking forward to it !!!!!!!!!!


    • 117
      Alex says:

      Yet another ignorant homophobe – nice to see people like you are so lacking in class (note, that’s class of the human variety, not the social kind).

      Anyway, never mind, you can come up with a nice little abusive retort to this I’m sure – go on, make me able to rest my case.


  27. 74
    Ooops they're down says:


    Radio Five has had their morning programme screwed by those bleeding inflation figures going in the wrong direction. They were counting down to the grand announcement and horror of horrors, the headline rate was……down!!! Still, making the best of a bad job they presenter keeps bleating on that the inflation rate is still TWICE the governments target rate.


    • 76
      misterned says:

      They were really looking forward to a 5% figure. The shock and open disappointment in the BBC was palpable when the figures came out.


    • 82
      pbi says:

      I can assure you that at my local supermarket and gas station, inflation is up.


      • 86
        It's a buyers market(if you're Chinese that is) says:

        I blame the Chinese…. not content with buying up all the grain/wheat and petrol etc they’re now buying up all the New Zealand Lamb….no more cheap lamb chops for UK shoppers


        • 120
          sheepshagger says:

          It’s a long time since a majority of the population in NZ spoke English anyway…



  28. 81
    The Greeks had a word for it says:

    Nous, not nouse. It’s a Greek word.


    • 89
      Sarko's Cat says:

      No it’s not…it’s “French”


      • 92
        Your Old School Languages Department says:

        The original Ancient Greek noun is νους, best translated as “mind”, “reason”, or “understanding”. “Nous” in French means “we”.


  29. 99
    Tory Scum says:

    I wonder if Dame shirley prorter will come to Simon’s funeral – they could get the 37 million she owes off her then. Maybe stick in her prison too where she belongs.


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