April 10th, 2011

Truth About Fishy Cameron Snap
It Wasn’t Downing Street’s ‘Flight of Fantasy’

So the truth is out, Downing Street didn’t tip Guido off and send him the snap of the Camerons waiting glumly at Stansted Gate 48 for their flight. Fellow Ryanair traveller Beckett Fish took the snap on his iPhone and put it on Facebook. His friend Mark Edwards saw the pictures on Facebook and sent them to Guido, who was in a Soho pub when he received the picture on his Android phone. A bit squiffy Guido still managed to blog the picture via phone in the pub. Then all hell broke loose.

Lobby hacks on Twitter immediately reckoned it was the best publicity Cameron has seen in months, going as far as to speculate that it was planted by Downing Street. Hacks were on the phone immediately to Guido chasing the story. Hastily Guido agreed a deal with Beckett and Mark via email. By the time Guido left the pub we had agreed a worldwide picture syndication deal and sold the picture to half of London’s newspapers. We sold it to the BBC and Sky as well. It was all over the front pages the next day.

The idea that Downing Street’s new spinner Craig Oliver arranged all this is a flight of fantasy. It was down to good old fashioned luck and fast thinking. Usually Guido’s co-conspirators get a T-shirt for a really good tip, Mark and Beckett are looking to get more than enough cash for another holiday. Readers make this blog what it is: the blog you love and they hate…


  1. 1
    Gordon Brown says:

    If I send you my holiday pics, can you syndicate them too?

  2. 2
    eeu to me says:

    Well I never a PR stunt that wasn’t, what next rusty the warmonger will be telling us he will give us a Euro referendum and pigs do fly, nice one on making a penny or two for your hols though.

    • 74
      Anonymous says:

      Good for Mark and Beckett. Anyone who’s had the misfortune of a Ryanair flight needs to be in with a chance to win :-)

  3. 3
    Martin Sewell says:

    Guido & Friends 1- Dead Tree Press 0

  4. 4
    Number 10's Cat says:

    Umm I have a feeling that Facebook may have a finger in the pie as well.

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    “Umm I have a feeling that Facebook may have a finger in the pie as well”

    Copyright is owned by the photographer, not Facebook. The photographer is free to license the pic to anyone he chooses and Facebook does not get a penny. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a twat.

    • 7
      John says:

      You really need to read Facebook’s T&C if you think Facebook don’t have rights to use that photo as they see fit.

      • 9
        Number 10's Cat says:

        My point exactly!

        • 12

          Facebook assign themselves rights, but they have never exploited them. It is merely to protect themselves from breach of copyright issues. Just as if you sign up for the Guidogram you agree to be sold into slavery. We haven’t as yet exercised that clause.

  6. 6
    John says:

    I’m not sure it wasn’t a set up.

    Does our country, which is engaged on military activities in a number of parts of the world, and currently seeing the resurgence of terrorist activities in Ireland, really in the business of allowing our Prime Minister to take a second rate airline without a protection squad?

    Where is anyone in that picture? How did this passenger manage to get so close to the PM unchallenged?

    Fit up all the way in my book. Piers Morgan would have been proud.

    On a separate point it’s an insult for the Cams to believe they can show empathy with the people by flying Ryanair. The fucker is worth £30million FFS.

    • 8

      The bloke on the left in the picture is the heavy. Suspect there were a few more local heavies in Spain.

      • 73
        wingeing tat says:

        Fawkes got a front page scoop and some cash, get over it you miserable get.

        • 80
          wingeing tat says:

          Jeez, you are one whiny little bitch. Perhaps trying to sell a pic of your boyfriend sitting on your face might cheer you up, although I can’t see much of a market for pics of two fat old queens with flaccid dicks, can you……you knob?

        • 96
          wingeing tat says:

          Hmmmmm…..please note for future reference, did not deny he was a fat old queen.

        • 137
          The Sleeper says:

          Would explain a lot. Tat’s a fat old queen.

        • 205
          please note, this bloke is a lazy get says:

          You know, it really is not good enough to repeat anothers comment. Tut tut, you must do better.

        • 208
          Anonymous says:

          Think up your own comments you lazy get.

        • 240
          The Sleeper says:

          Note to tat.

          Guido can see your IP Address so there’s no point in trying to pass yourself off as someone else to try to fool the gaffer.

      • 196
        Gullible member of the public says:

        Great PR for Dave whatever you think mr oh so clever cloggs.

        • 231
          Gullible member of the public says:

          My my, you truly are a gullible windowlicker, you weasel. Like all socialistic individuals you’re only envious of other people’s wealth.

          The “gullible” general public are not like you. They don’t look into other people’s bank account before they form their opinions. They see the PM and his Missus flying Ryanair and they say good for him. He’s putting himself through what the rest of us have to put up with. Not like that banker Blair for whom anything less than 5 star luxury was deplorable. A simple brownie point, that’s all, but they all help.

          You must surely be a Green, green with envy.

          Oh and I bet Dave thought up this PR stunt himself. Its always the simple ones that are most effective.

        • 233
          the public says:

          Dave’s spinning arselicker is right. We love the Bankers.

    • 10
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      Damned if they do, and damned if they don’t.

      Why shouldn’t they travel with Ryan Air of they choose to do so? There’s just no reasoning with some people.

      • 15
        Father Ted says:

        There may be a few more “interested” people on a Ryanair flight. Easyjet just has the oiks from Sheffield

      • 33
        Tessa Tickles says:

        Surely you don’t choose to travel Ryanair. You do so because (short of not travelling at all) you have absolutely no alternative whatsoever.

        For Cameron to travel by Ryanair means (a) he’s insane or (b) it was a put-up.

        • 169
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          Why should it be either?

          A lot of people choose to travel RyanAir, myself and Mr Bag included. Just because he is PM and he has money shouldn’t exclude him from doing this.

          If he had chartered a plane and filled it with his entourage, you would still complain.

          There’s just no pleasing some people.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            I wouldn’t complain at all, Mrs Bag.

            Perhaps the Prime Mentalist and his wife are devout masochists who, bored of flagellating each other in the bedroom, have decided to take their kink to the next and perhaps ultimate level: a Ryanair flight.

            But I’m sure he just wants to be austere. Not be flash. To demonstrate his humility. BUT.. how does his spin doctor spin that without a photo? No good being austere if no-one knows about it.

            Aha! Lucky old Wavy Davey.. an image is grabbed and distributed! How very fortunate! A PM, in the middle of two wars (let me repeat that: IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO WARS), leader of a country where the threat level (particularly at airports) from terrorist attack is ‘extreme’, is seated nonchalantly in a Ryanair departure lounge, with the public milling around, and where a passer-by shoots him with a camera. Not a gun. (un)fortunately.

            Yeah, I believe it.

          • The Sleeper says:

            He’s just like one of us

            As if you’re normal.

    • 18
      Number 10's Cat says:

      On reflection I can’t help wondering I Guido et al have been hoaxed.

      1. DC is a millionaire in his own right. Why would he go anywhere near a budget airline?

      2. If it is DC & Sam, where are the kids?

      3. If that’s a public waiting area, where are the public?

      4. If it is not a public area how did the photographer get in?

      5. What kind of name is Beckett Fish anyway?

      • 22
        Number 10's Cat says:

        On reflection I can’t help wondering if Guido et al have been hoaxed.
        Damn spell checker.

        • 203
          AC1 says:

          You’re very angry. Is this because it makes the last looting labour party look rather bad?

        • 207
          ACmong says:

          You’re very stupid. Is this because it makes the present incompetent Tory party look rather bad?

      • 23

        1. Why not?

        2. At home with the nanny.

        3. The public are have been cropped out of the photos because it makes a better picture. In the originals there is a girl sitting in front of the Camerons and a mother and daughter walking past on the left-hand side.

        4. It is a public area.

        5. It is the name on the cheque.

        • 27
          Number 10's Cat says:


        • 34
          Tessa Tickles says:

          “3. The public are have been cropped out of the photos because it makes a better picture.”

          Ooh, dodgy. Reuters would rightly throw a wobbler at that. A ‘news’ photo isn’t “made better” by altering it to change the message it conveys. Specifically, “No additions or deletions to the subject matter of the original image. (thus changing the original content and journalistic integrity of an image) ”


          • Anonymous says:

            Waaaah, anything to have a go. Oh yes, I remember Guido claiming to be the new Reuters…

          • Cynical-old-bag says:

            I assume it all depends on what other photos they have at the time. If they don’t have any, then anything is acceptable if it’ll sell papers.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            It’s down to the picture editor to decide cropping.

            I quoted Reuters’ guidebook, but here’s a quote about image distribution from Tony Hicks of AP:

            “Honesty is key. There is no room for manipulation of any kind, whether in Photoshop or through the photographer’s intervention and influence on the scenes they witness. .. While we have multiple subscribers and customers of varied political persuasions they all know that what they get from the AP is accurate and truthful – our reputation depends on it.”


          • AC1 says:

            Fox News

            Fair and Unbiased (chortles from left)


            accurate and truthful (silence from left)

            I’d trust fox more than the AP, just google Green Helmet Guy.

      • 93
        A nice bit of Salmon says:

        I suspect Becket Fish intended for us to fall for this hook line and Sinker !

  7. 11
    Martin Day says:

    “we had agreed a worldwide picture syndication deal and sold the picture to half of London’s newspapers. We sold it to the BBC and Sky as well. It was all over the front pages the next day.”

    This is the unacceptable face of capitalism, amd further reason to vote Labour on May 5.

    Just how much of the sales proceeds will be declared for UK taxes ??

    • 14
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      Oh for God’s sake!

      You Labour trolls have such massive chips on your shoulders. No wonder you’re always so bloody miserable.

      Try getting a life..!

      • 17
        calm down dear! says:

        Irony perhaps?

      • 44
        Did Airey Neave die in vain? says:

        Careful what you say, chaps and chapesses. We don’t want to land Guido’s comment board with a reputation for not understanding jokes or of falling for some nefarious bounder trying to get our backs up. Amazingly there are people out there who think most of the commenters here are just tiresome old Daily Mail readers with a very narrow and stupid worldview whining all the time and typing the words “Marxist” and “Socialism ” over and over again like mental patients.

        Time to pull our socks up.

        • 217
          Poor Bill says:

          The ‘Devil only wins when we can say he no longer exists’.

          Back to Highgate uncle Karl.

          PS take the Kapos with you. Where is grandpa Miliband planted by the way ?

          Not Poland ?

    • 20
      Ratsniffer says:

      Labour troll = deluded marxist tosser with too much time on his hands.

    • 140
      Cynical Old Man says:

      Martin Day, you are a bloody socialist hypocrite! Every socialist I have ever known or been acquainted with has NEVER turned down the offer of making easy money.
      Look how many Labour M.P.s have become millionaires by fleecing the taxpayer.

      At least Guido and his co-conspirators showed ingenuity in order to obtain a nice little earner. AND you bloody socialists are just as guilty of tax dodging as the capitalists- the Milibands, Blair, Darling, The pair of Balls, Blears, The Guardian, the list is almost endless.

      You sanctimonious hypocrites make me puke!

      • 206
        Let me simply it for you says:

        Socialists = C UNTS !

      • 236
        Meers Porgon says:

        Didn’t one of Lieber’s newspapers have dodgy pics of British soldiers doing naughty things a while ago. Photoshopping? Moi?

  8. 13
    the thought police are coming says:

    Sorry, o/t but… A senior member of the BNP who burned a copy of the Qur’an in his garden has been arrested following an investigation by the Observer.


  9. 16
    the thought police are coming says:

    oh FFS!

  10. 21
    War Leader Dave says:

    I’m just popping out to the fish and chip shop, darling….

    • 26
      T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

      How sad !! Cherie and I will be holidaying in one of Silvio’s villas, feasting on Bollinger and beluga.

    • 29
      Cod n Fourpennorth o'chips says:

      Remember It’s “Mushy Peas” and not for ” Guacamole !”

  11. 25
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Get the beer in fawkes !

    • 46
      Martin Day says:

      Your up very early this morning Haddock. Spent all your giro in the boozer last night? Now with a stonking hangover you’ve decided to vent your rage on the gentile posters at this place before spending the rest of the afternoon in the bookies.

      • 161
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        Left school at 15have now WORKED for FORTY years (look up the word WORK)
        NEVER even seen the inside of a dole office TAT
        you piss soaked tramp nappy wearing retard
        eat shit and die !

  12. 28
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Set up my arse !
    the Camerons are showing a little restraint on their spending !
    unlike many labour mp’s who flaunt their new found stolen wealth ,and think they are fucking royalty
    the likes of Straw always insisting on first/club class
    and then you have Brown who has ticket holding passengers thrown off the plane so he can park his nappied arse in someone elses seat

    • 30
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      Agreed. Rich people aren’t rich because they spend money like a Labour Government. Rich people are rich because they use money carefully. Now if the Muscular Liberal can apply the philosophy of his personal spending to the country’s finances – which he has so far singularly failed to do – we’ed be in a far better situation.

      • 36
        Events have finished many a politician says:

        The problem is the the “National Will” to resolve the deficit is not there in sufficient enough numbers…the left, the Labour Party, Unions and media(Guardian/BBC et al) are in denial that there is a problem and if there is that the problem is not so significant as the Coalition is alleging and that either cuts are not required or if they are the level of cuts required are miniscule and that someone else should bear the brunt not the vast Labour Client State of the public sector…even the situation in Greece,Ireland and now Portugal has failed to convince them so Cameron is fighting an uphill battle and so far has failed absolutely to win the argument with certain sections of the community…and rather than concentrating on foreign policy adventures or gadding around the world stage, apologising for what he considers the UK is guilty of and throwing away UK taxpayers monies that we can’t afford to other countries he would be better to concentrate on the battles at home which he looks very likely to lose if he doesn’t

        • 39
          Tell it like it really is says:

          Why doesn’t our Dave, because the fiscal situation of the country is dire and as you so eloquently put it, so many will not recognise it to be so, do the following:-

          Put the country on a war footing, not as in “Oh yeah we’re bombing Libya” but as in past wars where the existence of the country is threatened.

          Treasonous traitorous people and organisations would be dealt with (bbc to start with) immigration stopped immediately (hurrah) deportations of all the shite we are at the moment paying to live here and try to destroy the country, rationing – would solve a little of the obesity problem you see on every street.

          • Events have finished many a politician says:

            A nice fantasy but that’s all it is……In a democracy you have to rule by consent and regrettably as I ‘ve said a significant majority won’t belive the evidence of their own eyes and ears or the facts before them. But you can’t really blame them as the Labour Party and the media such as “The Guradian” and “The BBC” won’t actually tell them the true situation of the UK’s Economy and continue to tell the people that things could be different if Labour was in power when they know that in actual fact the cuts would still continue on the same if not more draconian levels. The incoming government would likely be forced to it by the IMF like I*eland,Gr*ece and Port*gal because market confidence would evaporate if the Coalition fell and Labour came to power because it would demonstrate that the will to tackle the problems is not there and no government can deliver on the required austerity measures required

          • pedant says:

            That damn Tory led coalition are now cutting punctuation. We have all got used to commas, and now look what happens.

          • Engineer says:


          • Innit? says:

            There’s always laughs aplenty when grass roots Tories have a melodramatic whine-off.

    • 149
      Cynical Old Man says:

      Frankie, your comments have reminded me of the time, shortly after Labour came to power in 1997, Sheffield M.P. Clive Betts attended the official opening of a new social housing development for homeless teenagers in a brand new, top of the range B.M.W. David Blunkett turned up in a huge brand new chauffeur driven saloon.

      I noticed Betts hadn’t even bought his car from a local Sheffield dealer but from a dealership in Chelsea. I thought then the bastard couldn’t even support local businesses. Another thought I had at the time was how nice it was for Betts to come and show the young unemployed what you could have by creaming the taxpayer. Bastard!

      • 247
        scratch and sniff says:

        betts and the young unemployed? he’d soon find ways for them to occupy themselves – sucking his fat cock most like. dirty fucking pervert.

  13. 31
    Old Nick Heavenly (cue Dutrou vids and lots of foaming at the mouth) says:

    gawd, guido, you are so damm sexy!

  14. 32
    Andy Coulson says:

    Dear Andy Coulson,

    Our staff has opted not to approve your account, and therefore it has been removed.

    Why ? Why ? Why ?

  15. 35
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Kate Middleton invites two ex lovers to the wedding and William invites four !
    the wedding night should be a Right Royal Fuckfest !

  16. 37
    Tom Baldwin says:

    What a really lovely couple Beckett & Tania Fish are,and I mean that most sincerely

  17. 38
    Barry says:

    Congratulations, nice one.
    Glad some pennies were made

  18. 41
    nell says:

    More power to your elbow Guido.

    Making an honest penny beats troughing it off the taxpayer any day!

  19. 43
    genghiz the kahn says:

    It would be funnier if that crass fool Letwin was photographed being thrown off a Ryanair or Easyjet flight.

    If Call Me Dave looked bored, he should ask why passengers have to turn up 2 hours before the flight, and how EU and UK regulations make flying a miserable experience for others.

    O’Leary and Ryanair will love the publicity. He didn’t get rich by getting it wrong.

    • 133
      vote no to av,vote no to sandal wearers says:

      There wouldnt have been a Ryanair if it hadnt been for Mrs Thatcher,back in the eighties to launch their first service,Ryanair needed the consent of either the Irish or UK government as that was the law at the time.
      The old crook CJ Haughey blocked him as he had spent years packing Aerlingus with party stooges and relatives but Mrs T wanted competition and signed immediately launching what was to become Europes biggest airline.
      Good choice Dave,the left hate Ryanair as it destroyed the monopoly of the semi-state airlines…………which is nice !

      • 147
        Must get a pseudonym one day says:

        Mmmm “Aerlingus”……….isn’t that when you give oral sex to a stewardess ?

      • 248
        scratch and sniff says:

        everyone hates ryanair – it’s shit.

        run by paddies for paddies

  20. 45
    Craig Oliver says:

    And Beckett Fish can now wave good-bye to any chance of an O.B.E

  21. 50
    I like money says:

    I have a shortcut button on my mobile for the video camera in case I ever come across a Labour MP acting up and I need to record quickly. My dream would be to catch Denis Macshane in a loud and drunken state. I’d like a holiday thanks to that troughing c unt.

    • 55
      QWERTY says:

      Don’t send the video to the BBC, if it’s a Liebore MP or a well known homosexual the BBC won’t put it on air, but if it’s a Tory or a heterosexual up to no good they will make it the top story for months.

      • 75
        Innit? says:

        When a Tory turns out to be a heterosexual it deserves to be top story. I think their should be more heterosexuals in the Conservative Party. But less women. And no towelheads. Or spastics.

    • 95
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      How would you tell the difference between McInsane drunk and McInsane sober?

  22. 52
    An American Psycho-logist says:

    Why can’t you horrible people leave David Camerloon alone ?
    He just wants to be happy.


  23. 54
    QWERTY says:

    The BBC are fucking mongs. The BBC have decided that it is ‘immoral’ for the Tories to do away with bin fines, so of course the BBC bummers can’t actually say this, so they get some thick bitch from Friends of the Earth (who of course have no political mandate but they do speak for the BBC) who thinks that putting a bag of waste NEXT to your bin is worthy of a serious fine.

    During the interview on Radio 5 the woman was given a total free pass and not cross examined once by the thick beeboid wanker, who appeared to totally agree with her.

    • 254
      Sicko says:

      Only listen for ‘Wake up to Money’ 5.30 – 6.00am weekdays, though there is a risk that you will catch the tail end of ‘Morning Reports’, which offers a uniquely feminist view of the news.

      Be careful to switch over at the end to avoid Victoria Derbyshire-induced aspiration of your cornflakes.

  24. 57
    Dack Blog says:

    They didn’t need to ‘engineer’ a scoop. There was no need. Someone would take a pic and it would get into the media.

    Someone please take the mike off Boris before he says anything else about (‘celebrating’) the Brixton (‘uprising’) riots.

    • 59
      Dack Blog says:

      The irony is it makes Dave look like a desperate chump.

    • 66
      Engineer says:

      I’d just like to place on public record that I had nothing whatever to do with this ‘scoop’.

      (P.S. It does make Dave look a bit of a chump. If he’s taking Sam for a romantic weekend away, he’d have been better advised to choose a more comfortable and private means of transport. We all know that they can perfectly well afford it from their own means, without sponging off the public purse or a ‘celebrity’, and if he tries the hairshirt approach again, Sam might well cancel all his Brownie points.)

      • 69
        Dack Blog says:

        We know he can afford a luxury holiday. Okay, folk wouldn’t like to see him holidayng Blair-style, but per-leeease.

        Desperate and patronising in one fell swoop. As bad as watching Boris trying to win over the ethnic minority vote talking of ‘uprisings’ as the split screen showed trashed, looted buildings and policemen covered in blood. We know policing needed addressing, but an uprising?

        And now celebs and the like are being encouraged to go for police commissioner posts.

        Lord above. Make space in that handcart on your route to hell.

  25. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Guido, get a life, stop being a hack, and focus on the changing Britain stuff

    • 67
      Engineer says:

      Erm, “Tittle-tattle, gossip and rumours…..” See top of blog homepage for details.

      • 70
        Anonymous says:

        OK, new news of the screws. Put it behind a paywall then. Thought it was doing a bit better than that?

        • 76
          knock knock says:

          It still amazes me how many numpties who have dreary blogs about the changing Britain stuff that nobody reads, come on here and have the gall to have a whinge on a blog that is actually quite successfull.

          • Anonymous says:

            Hey darling – what if I’m not a blogger but a reader?

            Why does it take several days to update the “quote of the day” section?

          • knobsons choice says:

            “Hey darling – what if I’m not a blogger but a reader?”

            Well you’ve got two choices, you can carry on reading or you can fuck off.

          • Anonymous says:

            knobsons – think this explains why quote of the day must be difficult for Guido

          • Anonymous says:

            You sound like the Peoples Liberation Front from Life of Brian

          • knobsons choice says:

            “knobsons – think this explains why quote of the day must be difficult for Guido”

            Unlike you, he probably has a life.

          • Anonymous says:

            knobbo – Great quality of debate. Perhaps we should stand for the European Parliament?

          • CCHQ says:

            Following Gordon Browns phenomenal success on Youtube, we intend to carry on where the master left off.

          • Innit? says:

            Come now, be fair to Guido. For years he and Coulson had the sort of playful relationship which put you in mind of a malevolent version of Laurel And Hardy and now that’s gone he has to deal with and defend third raters.

          • tuгd rater says:

            Takes one to know one, you fucking loser.

          • Innit? says:

            Nice comeback. Pity that restraining order stops you using it in school playgrounds.

          • bareback rider says:

            “Nice comeback”

            I bet you say that to all the boys you dirty fucker.

          • Innit? says:

            Another cracking riposte. Actually, what I say to all the boys is “Have you been fucking Bareback Rider?” “No” they say “We just shat on him and wrote dirty words on his body with it. He says it reminds him of public school. Anyway, he’s got retro Aids – the type that kills you, not the one that’s a bit like flu.”

          • assume the position says:

            Look luv, just make yourself fucking useful while your here and put the kettle on, plus there’s some ironing to be done.

          • Innit? says:

            You can take your ironing round to your mum’s, same as last week and the 34 years before that.

          • like muvva, like fuckwit says:

            OK mum, I’ll bring it right over.

          • Innit? says:

            Now remember, fella-me-lad, every time you change your identity you have to tell the nice men in the police station.

          • like muvva, like fuckwit says:

            Fuck off mum, you old slapper.

          • Innit? says:

            Fucking hell, it didn’t take much to get you to reveal the root of your sickness.

          • mutha fucka innit? says:

            Why don’t you enlighten us, we haven’t got a fuckng clue what you’re on about?

          • Innit? says:

            I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were retarded. IS IT EASIER FOR YOU IF I TYPE IN BIG LETTERS?

          • Anonymous says:

            Bugger off you smelly old tit.

          • Innit? says:

            Are you a Tory? I only ask because this site is full of them telling other people what to do. There’s a simple solution here – you could make a decision for yourself and bugger off. Do you need the Government to wet nurse you through life?

          • for the hard of hearing and criminally insane says:


        • 246
          Innit? says:

          If I’d realised it was this easy to wind you up I wouldn’t have bothered. Too fucking easy.

      • 105
        Anonymous says:

        A bit more air time surely?

  26. 78
    Beckett Fish says:

    A fire starts inside a chemical plant and the alarm goes out to fire departments miles around. After crews have been fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, “All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $100,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!”

    The crews try, but no one can get through. Then another fire truck, filled with a volunteer fire company of men over 65, comes roaring down the road and drives straight into the middle of the inferno. The other men watch unbelieving as the old timers hop off of their rig and heroically extinguish the fire, saving the secret formulas.

    The company president walks over to reward the volunteers.

    “What do you guys plan to do with the money?” the president asks the group.

    The firetruck driver looks him right in the eye and answers, “Well, the first thing we’re going to do is fix the fucking brakes on that truck.”

  27. 82
    Anonymous says:

    no wonder the country’s fucked here i am living the good life well it was till Labour and King fucked the pound to the euro and all i see and read is 24/7
    non stop ,bile and shit against this goverment.
    The BBC, Sky, Guardian and every left and fucking right wing journalist
    kicking the shit out if this goverment what the fuck is wrong with the UK people its like they have a death wish.

    • 101
      Engineer says:

      I don’t think it’s the people that are the problem (well, not most of them, anyway). There’s a good old British tradition of carrying on regardless, and most do just that.

      There is a problem with quite a lot of the media – Michael Buerk made reference to the BBC being out of step with the broad thrust of public opinion and sentiment. So is much of the print media. There’s a lot of public disquiet about our EU membership, for example, but that isn’t really reflected in much of the media.

      In general, ‘the public’ often has rather more intelligence and common sense than the politicians and media give them credit for.

      • 114
        Anonymous says:

        Please note that John Sissons and Michael Buerk have left it untill they could retire on nice public sector pensions to say the bleedin obvious. The BBC will never change from within, which is why we need the other extreme of a British Fox News to kick them up the arse. They’ve got no good reason to change otherwise.

        • 117
          Engineer says:

          You could well be right – the Beeb does seem to be getting gradually less accountable and more arrogant. There may come a point where it’s so obvious to so many that ‘something has to be done’, but we’re not there yet, unfortunately.

          If someone did set up a Fox News type outfit, it would be interesting to see how the viewing ratings compared. If it was too right wing, it probably wouldn’t do very well, so balancing it’s editorial line would require fine judgement.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            The problem is that the market will always be distorted while people are forced to pay for the BBC , Let them compete on a fair and level bais.

          • Innit? says:

            Americans like their news to be their own views and beliefs repeated ad infinitum which works well for their own culture and for 24 hr news over there because they know all the arguments and besides they’re busy with the screaming in their heads. Ratings are usually poor even though Septics are generally more politically involved. The British broadly tend to prefer short outbursts of people saying what a lot of people are thinking. Viewing figures and influence in the UK are fairly terrible for rolling news and a Fox News UK would just sit there reading out PR statements, being opinionated and almost totally ignored. A bit like Sky is now but less credible.

          • Cynical-old-bag says:

            Someone needs to get in there and start kicking a few arses.

            The BBC could do with a complete overhaul.

          • Tell it like it really is says:

            The bbc have only employed people who fit their remit of leftwing stupids for so many years how can we expect balanced evenhanded commentary and news? Nothing less than a wholesale clearout of the present uppity selfaggrandising riffraff, including that c*nt Snow and the whole of the Toady set will accomplish any change, and that just for a start.

        • 191
          Grammar School Boy says:

          Yes, quite.

          A Fox style Radio 4 channel/programme to compete (ie wipe) dross such as Toady off the sensible listener’s daily agenda would be a rather good start.

          • the fox says:

            Fuck Cameron and the BBC.

          • Grammar School Boy says:

            Just because he said it it really doesn’t mean that he believes it especially about the BB(C)C.

            They need to be cleaned out – like a dose of salts.

    • 131
      EU, bailouts, nannying, muzzies, corrupt non-resigning MPs & me? No thanks. says:

      How did you manage to type all that shit with your hands over your ears?

    • 162
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      The trouble with Labour voters is that they love all the spending sprees and, let’s face it, Labour had the monopoly on this one, but as soon as the truth is told about how much in debt their beloved party has left us in, they’re all in denial.

      Just how stupid can people be?

      • 173
        Innit? says:

        So stupid that they don’t know the coffers have been empty and we’ve been living on tick for most of the last century, apparently.

        • 178
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          Exactly. People in the public sector are all whining because they might have to forego their pay rise this year due to the cuts. They can’t see further then the ends of their noses. If they were to accept this and stop demonstrating, further cuts and possible redundancies might be avoided, and they may well still be gainfully employed this time next year.

          Idiots, the lot of ‘em.

  28. 83

    Guido drinking? Squiffy? Don’t believe a word of it…

  29. 97
    annette curton says:

    Flight of the Phoenix?

  30. 98
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido , Either way it was a good scoop that summed up this blog :-)

    Order-Order , Does what it says on the tin.

  31. 106
    The mong doth protest too much methinks says:

    Gordon Brown on Piers Moron’s show talking about Sarah: I love her

    Gordon Brown on Radio 4 talking about Sarah: She’s a great person and I love her very much

    Gordon Brown on GMTV sitting next to Sarah and talking about her: I just love her

    Why would anyone need to keep publicly reaffirming their love for their spouse? It’s supposed to be a given. Could it be he was protesting just a tad too much about his draeb?

  32. 113
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    What would Gordon say about Dave goin gto Spain?

    “Going an a forigan holiday takes money out of the Economey”

  33. 116
    Anonymous says:

    Beckett = 10 %

    Mark = 10 %

    Guido = 80 %

  34. 120
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Anarchists want to rule but don’t want to be ruled.

    • 142
      Innit? says:

      You’ll be the submissive type, then. It must give you such a fucking hard on to let the State piss all your liberty all over you and take up your responsibilities, you lazy pig. Fucking dirty, scrounging bitch wanting the State to do your bidding.

  35. 124
    akismet-3475dbcb8159c2ff26016d268eaf9041 says:

    Anyone who can sort out this kind of business on an Android phone while he’s pissed in a Soho pub gets my respect.

  36. 125
    Events have finished many a politician says:

    The legislation is dead in the water in its present form…the LibDems have sampled the focus-groups and will not support it through the lobbies at 3rd Reading…Norman Lamb, Nick Cleggs Political Advisor said as much to Jon Sopel on the Politics Show this lunch time… and that he would resign if the Tories tried to push it through and that the so called “pause” was just a PR gimmick.t Michael Fallon Deputy Chairman of Conservatives conceded as much just afterward…make absolutely no mistake this could break the Coalition so of course Lansley will be thrown to the wolves if Cameron feels that it’s him or Lansley

    • 251
      scratch and sniff says:

      Lansley is a total fuckwit – throw him to the wolves and they’ll probably throw him back

  37. 127
    Trivia hysteria says:

    Who cares? What a lot fuss over nothing. This country is well & truly lost up its own arse.

  38. 128
    Voice of Treason says:

    Isn’t it wonderful seeing Martin McGuinness condemning the dissident bombers in NL after all the blood that’s on his hands. Reminds me of Blair hugging Gaddafi and supplying him with weapons. What a fooking weird world we live in.

  39. 134
    Miss Marples investigates says:

    As exciting as the case of the missing marbles!

  40. 135
    Ratsniffer says:

    Guido a quick question…I know that the copywrite remains with the person who took the photo, but as you had already published them what would stop the MSM from copying the pics from here, and simply publishing them in their papers putting a written credit to your site on them, and then not bother coughing up. Could they get away with that?

  41. 139
    QWERTY says:

    Just watched Danny Alexander being interviewed on BBC News, ugly female beeboid hag interrupted him after almost every sentence, yet when Ed Testicles was interviewed the male beeboid didn’t interrupt him once.

  42. 141
    Margaret Beckett breaking in teeth for Red Rum says:

    Get over it!

  43. 143
    FFS says:

    Well done Dave for employing Coulson. Your judgement really shone through with that appointment.

    You fucking idiot!

    • 156
      Damien McSnide says:

      Too right, Coulsons got ‘dodgy geezer’ written all over him.

    • 230
      Alyingstare Campbell says:

      Pssssssssssst !! Anyone wanna dodgy dossier ???

      Only cost a few hundred thousand lives.

      • 252
        scratch and sniff says:

        yeah, but at least you showed the missus a real good time for her birthday. the look on her face tells it all

  44. 145
    Hysterical Medics says:

    Drinking gives you cancer Guido! You must give up drinking now! You may not live longer if you do give up booze but it will certainly feel longer!!

  45. 148
    Forlornehope says:

    Dave’s wearing Saucony trainers – serious runners wear!

  46. 151
    Wheelchair Winny says:

    I fell out of my wheelchair at an airport once. No one gave a damn. Then someone nicked my wheelchair to use for their luggage. I had to crawl onto the plane, when it landed in Spain I had to crawl to the taxi and then crawl to my hotel. It was traumatic. Sad but true!

    • 183
      Gordon Brown says:

      You bigoted woman. I needed that wheelchair. You expect me to carry my bags?

  47. 154
    Larry the Cat says:

    Meow! They left me alone! Meow. No sardines & catnip. No tickles under the chin. I will sh*t on the carpet. Meow!

    • 167
      Tell it like it really is says:

      Seen elsewhere – how do you make a cat bark? Taser it and *woof* it’s gone

      • 170
        the late mrs slocombe says:

        The static on my shag pile carpet makes the hairs on my pussy stand on end.

  48. 172
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Is this bloke on drugs?

    RichardJMurphy Blog: Time for New Zealand to be slated as the tax haven it is http://ow.ly/1c7QoJ
    about 1 minute ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  49. 179
    YokshireLad says:

    Hats of to Guido and the rest of the crew involved. Must be the pic of the year!
    Good to see the cash in selling the rights is (rightly) being shared properly.

  50. 187
    Beast of the punjab says:

    From heir to Blair to Ryan Air
    Who says that you cant buy class?

    (Its an extra £5 plus £30 to polish t’missus’ tiara)

  51. 188
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Of course it was a stunt. And this story is part of it. Trouble is, nobody gives a flying fuck how Cameron flies.

  52. 201
    Cato Street Constipator says:

    I don’t know, the fucking rubbish people keep in their fridges.


  53. 221
    John Prescott likes fishy food says:

    79,000 fish burgers only please. I’m on a diet.

  54. 225
    Margaret Beckett breaking in teeth for Red Rum says:

    Sod the pics. Which handsome fella won the Grand National?

  55. 226
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:


  56. 228
    Brown admits mistakes says:

    Been out all day and just returned home to the news that Jonah McDoom has admitted he made a mistake on bank regulation. The c unt chose to make this pathetically half hearted acceptance of responsibility in a speech in…New Hampshire. Not in the country he wrecked but a country where he’s hoping to get himself a new job. What an utter, utter bastard. I really didn’t think it was possible for me to hate this man even more but this news, and the story about him forcing a pregnant woman to give up her seat, have done just that. I actually no longer regard him as human. He’s poison, he’s garbage, he’s a raging sociopath.

  57. 237
    tv addict says:

    the truth is – we’re fucked

    europe gives itself more money as MEPs increase their allowances despite the financial troubles for everyone else (except the rich of course)


    still there’s always the totty on ITV4s Indian Premier League to watch and take the troubles away…..

  58. 238

    Brown admits that pigs can experience some difficulties in learning to fly.

  59. 239
    DisgustedOfTunbridgeWells says:

    Another bright idea brought to you by the Coalition

    Just hope you never need a blood transfusion


  60. 243
    Archie says:

    Well no surprises that le tout monde politique tunes into your gig, Guido, old chum! Where else would one go for pukka gen? Admittedly sundry trolls dilute the essence but the more savvy can filter them out.

  61. 245
    Down with Brown! says:

    The snap made me laugh. I hope it made Guido a lot of money.

  62. 195
    call me ordinary Dave says:

    I say old bean why is everyone laughing at Mr Fawkes spinning that I’m just an ordinary chap like all his proles ?

    “Bangers and mash! It is very grim oop north!”
    See? I’m an ordinary chappie on my hols and this wasn’t a PR wheeze.

    Pip! Pip!

Media Reader

Ex-Sun Hack Cleared After 582 Days on Bail | MediaGuido
The Sun Remains Most Widely Read UK Title | Press Gazette
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Mirror’s Weeping Child Picture Lying Lazy Journalism | Guardian
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
BBC Still Loves the Guardian | Breitbart
Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads