Saturday Seven Up

7upLast week saw 91,437 absolute unique visitors make 237,042 visits to view 354,369 pages. The Royal Wedding pretty much dominated the week, and now finally there might be some decent coverage of the AV referendum. Strangely all sorts of stories from a a few years back about a certain Andrew Marr have popped in to the most read list this week though.

So Dave finally gave in and wore his tails, but what’s missing from this picture?

The top stories this week were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or you are behind…

Friday Caption Contest (Sillyband Edition)

When a car arrives outside Ed Miliband’s office displaying Silly Millie The Clown, children’s party entertainer, the jokes pretty much write themselves. Good luck anyway…

The NO Campaign’s Secret Weapon

As polling day approaches, the No campaign have deployed their most devastating attack on AV yet.

Signed, sealed, delivered. 

Keynes vs. Hayek, Round Two

Maybe instead of arguing with Guido on Twitter, Will Straw should just step into the ring. Will always advocates more government taxing, borrowing and spending, Guido always advocates lower taxes, balanced budgets and an end to subsidies and bail-outs. Here is the rap version:

Council Pilgrims

Tory MP Alok Sharma has been digging into the union officials that are paid full time by the state. Basically local government versions of Nurse Pilgrim, whom Guido exposed last week.

Sharma asked the number of council-paid employees working full-time on trade union business, as well as the aggregate bill and the estimated cost of any other resources used by these officials

319 of 429 councils responded to the FOI request. 132 had a paid full-time union official in at least one of the last 3 years, whilst 187 did not. As yesterday, 110 councils had not responded including the  slashing Labour controlled Manchester City Council.

The total salary bill over the last three years for full-time union reps was £35 million. This does not include the cost of employing someone else to do the job vacated by the union reps. The unions should be paying for these staffers, not the taxpayer.

Meanwhile our favourite Nurse Pilgrim is causing trouble again. Outraged that the hospital she works at won’t be shutting down for the Royal Wedding she is organisng an official complaint

From: Jane Pilgrim [mailto:Jane.Pilgrim@███████.nhs.uk]
Sent: 26 April 2011 16:48
To: ████████████████
Subject: RE: royal wedding
Sensitivity: Confidential

Dear All,

It seems that the Trust are putting up stiff resistance to our various letters,

It does now seem that a collective grievance would be appropriate. UNISON has agreed to this..

Please let me know if you wish to be part of a collective grievance by 11th May,

Many Thanks

Jane Pilgrim ( Staff Side Secretary)

Guido wouldn’t have had this “peace and love” hippy squatter down as an arch-monarchist. Especially as she has now joined the Green Party who are abolitionist. Heaven forbid she might actually have to do a days work though. How exactly is Jane expecting lives to be saved if everyone at the hospital gets the day off?

Balls’s Reliance On Double Dip Destroyed

Blinky BallsThe UK economy grew by 0.5% in the first three months of the year, reducing the risk of a double-dip recession. Reacting to the  fact that his doomsday scenario hasn’t quite come true, Ed Balls said Cameron was “patronising, sexist, insulting and un-prime ministerial and he certainly should apologise.” Back to the drawing board for a Ballsian economic theory.

The Guilty Men

Poor Patrick Wintour, just a couple of weeks ago he has was gleefully preaching the merits of the AV system to the Guardian choir, yet today he has almost begun naming the names of who is to blame for Yes running such an antiquated campaign.

Bad news for Huhne. His less than subtle leadership politicking has has gone down badly with the Yes team saying it “went on too long for self-serving purposes”. The campaign had until then had taken the decision not to rebut all the accusations put to them by No, but this may prove to have been their fatal mistake. But all is not lost, they do have one big trick up their sleeves: “The yes team are even scanning the 10-day weather forecast in the hope that God will prove to be a late convert” Desperate times…

The Telegraph’s Political Priorities

What has Dave unleashed? There are those that say The Telegraph has dumbed down in recent years, and those that can see that the Guidoisation of the media is almost complete. Colonels will be doing a little more than choking into their corn flakes when they see the latest from Assistant Comment Editor Lucy Jones:

Well Lucy, Guido can put you out of your misery. They were in fact Lisa Nandy’s boobs. Who, he hears you cry? One of Miliband’s, until recently, rather bland, new-model rent-a-mob.

Dave’s Line Might Not Be a Winner

Cameron evoking Michael Winner at PMQs with “a calm down dear” has led to Labour kicking off and press releasing a demand for an apology. Presumably they are upset that he didn’t say “honorable dear”. Lets hope that […]

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Silencing Court Jesters

The role of a court jester was subtler than you might think, he made fun of the king and his courtiers in such a way as to often tell truths which could not be said directly. A strong king did […]

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QotD

Jackie Ashley writes without irony…

“Now, perhaps, it’s time to shine the light on the one profession that has too often been able to work quietly, in the shadows, without full disclosure or scrutiny – journalism.”[…]

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POLL : Permanently Marred?

As the anger grows over Andrew Marr’s audacity at paying to hide his own public interest story, while being paid to probe the lives of the rest of the political class, Guido thought he would gauge opinion:

Don’t forget […]

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Quote of the Day

Gordon Brown loses all sense of irony. The BBC report he says:

“David Cameron is planning to “cling on” in Downing Street after the election.”

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