March 29th, 2011

The Redemption of Andrew Pierce

The Mail’s Andrew Pierce is changing his ways. He seems to have nipped his bad habit of thieving stories in the bud and he’s apparently turning over a new leaf. Guido pointed out the other day that the reason Piercy hadn’t been to the local pub, that he was happy to rent-a-quote about in his local paper, “for months” was because he was banned as a consequence of his drunken antics. Well apparently he has been putting the word about that he has given up the boozing.

And not just for lent!


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Well done , If he has , A sinner repents.


  2. 3
    Popeye says:

    Alkys response, see how long for!


  3. 6
    jockstrap says:

    who is AP G/.,F


  4. 7
    gildedtumbril says:

    Who cares a monkey’s flunkey? What is a monkey’s flunkey? Ponce charles’s valet.


  5. 9
    Cassandrina says:

    Pull the other leg. Stripes and tigers cccccome to mmind.


  6. 10
    A joint statement from Elvis and Freddie from beyond the grave says:

    Rehab is for quitters.


  7. 12
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    giving up “the boozing” ?

    Does that mean never drnik again or not get pissed and stroppy, or not getting as hammered as a reforged labour party.


  8. 13
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have not been to the Claimant’s Arms in Kirkcaldy for months because their bar staff or non-unionised. It has nothing to do with that incident with the barmaid, the mobile phone and the office chair, which did not happen by the way.


  9. 14
    Gordon Brown says:

    Tonight I will be The Only Way Is Essex on ITV2.


  10. 15
    Charlie Kennedy says:

    Make mine a triple.


  11. 17
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dont dr*nk and dr*ve, you might spill it.


  12. 19
    Fucking Kerry McCarthy tries to be centre of attention says:

    A Labour MP is believed to have become the first politician to deliver a Commons speech using an iPad instead of printed notes.

    Kerry McCarthy read her speech from the Apple tablet computer’s screen during the third day of debate on last week’s Budget. The Bristol East MP’s use of the device on Monday night follows recommendations by the Commons Procedure Committee that iPads should be allowed in the Chamber.

    Ms McCarthy is known in Westminster for her use of technology, with a popular blog and a role as Labour’s “Twitter tsar” championing the use of new media.

    They should have added she’s also known for getting a police caution for breaking electoral law, the Labour fuckwit!


  13. 22
    Lauren Booth Hamza says:

    All he needs to do now is give up being gay and he can join the fastest growing religion in the world.


  14. 24
    Are they sure it's not just the normal Glasgow atmosphere? says:

    Low levels of radioactive iodine believed to be from the Fukushima nuclear plant in Japan have been detected in Glasgow


    • 31
      Socialism = Why Scotland is a shithole says:

      Will we notice any difference in the retarded mutants north of the border any way?


    • 49
      Engineer says:

      How did they know it was Japanese? Was it carrying a little rising sun flag?


    • 67
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      To be honest, if you live in Glasgow, death by low level radiation would be a blessing considering the alternatives; alcohol, heroin, deep fried mars bars – or boredom.


      • 77
        Anonymous says:

        Move to Englandshire, where there are no fat unhealthy people, no junkies, no alkys , no criminals and importantly all the MPs are fine upstanding citizens and definitely no Socialists oh no. A wonderful place by all accounts.


        • 172
          Machiavellian anal twat says:

          Point taken. Caricaturing ALL Scots as Rab C. Nesbitt types is unfair, just as describing all English as refugees from ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ isn’t fair. However, in both cases it IS good knockabout fun; which is not yet contrary to mind-controlling legislation.

          Enjoy it whilst it lasts.


      • 117
        Glasgow Salad says:

        A plate of cold chips


        • 163
          True stuff says:

          The fattest person in the UK is Welsh apparently and those with the fattest heads support the England Football team.


  15. 26 says:

    Is Andy Pierce still friendly with the BBC’s Evan Davis. I heard he was very fond of playing with his Prince Albert.


  16. 28
    Gordon Brown says:

    I don’t care if you are pregnant. Get up and give me your fucking seat!


  17. 30
    Nooking em would be mucho fun! says:

    Just fucking nook the middle east. Bunch of third world backward muzbot shitholes populated by savage nutters.


    • 33
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      but start with Scotland.


      • 37
        Nooking em would be mucho fun! says:

        No point. Most of Scotland already looks like a nuclear warzone.


      • 80
        Anonymous says:

        I don’t think you have the ballistic capability to reach Scotland from New Zealand Billy. Mind you we could send a couple of nuclear subs out from Faslane to sort you out ya c unt!


  18. 36
    Calamity Clegg says:

    I’m rebranding my party The Conservative Party.


    • 42
      eeu to me says:

      Good idea, you could get lots of votes, it’s a name that used to mean something but da manager now in charge a mr rusty war-monger cameron appears to have renamed the party that had that name to blue liebour.


    • 43
      eeu to me says:



  19. 46
    QWERTY says:

    Fox News is a hoot,

    Bomb! bomb! bomb! oh and all the bombing is being done by those good ole USA boys, so any film you’ve seen of UK and French aircraft is not true, coz Fox News says so.


    • 50
      Engineer says:

      Better if the Yanks are doing the bombing. It means the Royal Navy can save our last remaining missile for an emergency.


      • 54
        QWERTY says:

        What in case there is a rumour the one eyed idiot from Fife in on his way down to England?

        That would be a hoot.


      • 82
        Anonymous says:

        The Yanks are world class when it comes to precision bombing………of allied troops and family weddings.


  20. 52
    Lembit finds another excuse to be on TV! What a shock! says:

    See You in Court Tuesday 29 March
    10:35pm – 11:25pm
    Gascoigne & Opik
    1/6, series 1
    Sometimes an idea for a series looks so smart, you wonder why nobody thought of it sooner. Here a run of cautionary tales reveals the mechanics of libel cases by following those who believe they’ve been wronged in print as they fight for their reputations. The first edition is seen entirely from the perspective of complainants, in this case both celebrities: former MP Lembit Opik and Paul Gascoigne’s ex-wife Sheryl. Opik argues that newspaper coverage treating him as a figure of fun contributed to his defeat at the general election; Gascoigne wants to correct grisly tabloid headlines calling her a liar, among other things. Watching each cope with the niceties of the legal system is sobering.


  21. 55
    Sir William Waad says:

    At least he looks the part in black tie. I imagine our host in such togs looking a little like a pregnant rockhopper penguin.


  22. 57
    Mutiah Muralitheran says:

    I am the King of Spin


  23. 61
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Achtung! Meine damen und herren…..yahvol!


  24. 62
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ll be on Hampstead Heath at midnight.


  25. 63
    The Sneering Broadcasting Corporation. says:

    Yes I know “The British” have now established a no fly zone and saved a few thousand Bengasi folks from the chop, BUT,
    What’s The End Game?


    • 78
      bring home the canon fodder says:

      The end game is all of that lovely oil. What did you think it was kababs or rugs?


  26. 66
    Glasgow & Oxford says:

    Why are the Japanese targeting us with radiation?
    Should we nuke ‘em back?


  27. 68
    Some things will be eternally enjoyable says:


  28. 69
    angelnstar says:

    First Boris blasts the two Eds in his Telegraph article. Then Harriet Harman pulls out of this week’s Question Time when Boris will be on the panel!


    • 81
      bring home the canon fodder says:

      Did you see harman on the Daily Politics the otehr day. What a vile, odious, lying pile of shit is that woman.


      • 83
        Anonymous says:

        Did you see the dimwitted cow at the end of an interview on Sky when she thought the camera was off her and she pulled some really dumb fucker faces!


        • 88
          Jack D says:

          Excuse me, that’s her usual face.


          • bring home the canon fodder says:

            Both her and her husband put bags on their heads during sex. This is of course during a foursome with the Bercows. Young Red Ed watches on, I believe.


          • Great British Public says:

            Four gallons of mind bleach, quickly !


          • Fun with the Mortgage says:

            Any such swinging antics would of course not include The Jowells as they have separated because he was innocent of a crime which Theresa believed he didn’t commit. Did you follow that ? No me neither!


  29. 71
    QWERTY says:

    Pierce and toilets Maguire seem to hang out a lot together, anyone know if they are drinking buddies (or more)


  30. 86
    PigShit says:

    just a reminder of the police scum we have in ths country

    they can kill people in cold blood in daylight in this country and ger away with it

    no uk government is prepared to do anything about it


    • 89
      bring home the canon fodder says:

      It reminds me of Steven Gerrard’s self defense claim that got him accquited.


    • 91
      Poor Bill says:

      So ? The out of control tax collecting Euro-Filth. We know. So what ?

      If the British regain control of thie island again, they can stop their pension and kick them out.

      Until then we are Fuc*ed….. Ho hum,,,,


      • 94
        QWERTY says:

        What makes me laugh is how the fucking plod scum happily go around handing out parking tickets or arresting people for ‘thought crimes’ whilst young women raped and murdered, old women are battered to death in their homes and our city centres are like Baghdad. Plods don’t think there is anything wrong, I once met one at a party and he happily admitted he’d get no more pleasure catching a rapist than he would a speeding motorist “crime is crime” he said in his thick stupid plod like accent.

        Notice how the plods stood back and allowed crime to take place last weekend, yet surely that is a crime in itself?

        I wonder if the plods would stand back and watch a man rape a woman on the assumption that they can arrest him afterwards, I’m sure she’d appreciate that.

        The bottom line is the plods are scum, cowards, gutless and just nazis.


      • 100
        hopeless says:

        agree mate

        british governments don’t care about the british population. they only interested in the welfare of people in other countries like iraq and libya. seems until the british say they’ve had enough it will only get worse


  31. 92
    bring home the canon fodder says:

    England currently 0-0. Gues which team is shit useless, contrary to the commentators hype.


  32. 96
    nell says:

    I do hope everyone has bought their mother a copy of sarahbrown’s ‘behind the black door’ book for mother’s day!! She really does want to sell more books than gordon did; not a difficult goal to reach.

    Apparently it’s full of little snippets about how kind and gentle gordon was during his term as pm, how popular and how successful. And how the brown’s became the Absolute centre of glittering 2nd rate celebrities frequently and royally entertained at our expense for the sole purpose of raising gordon’s profile.


    • 106
      Sarah Twatter says:

      I thought the book was entitled, ‘Big Behind, Baggy Drawers’.


      • 120
        nell says:

        book review on amazon where the price of her book has already fell from approx £11 to £6 says:

        “my shopping list is more interesting”


        • 121
          nell says:

          Modded?! Why??!!

          You’re having a laugh Guido!!!


          • nell says:

            Was it my mention of shopping lists?


          • Tottywatch says:

            ‘Cos you’re an arse?


          • nell says:

            Well as a labour troll of course you would think that.

            The rest of us rather think it of you! But there you go!


          • Tottywatch says:

            Said the T’ory troll.


          • Christy says:

            Don,t take any notice of what whoever might say,stick to your guns girl and say whatever you like.
            I always read your posts and mostly to be honest agree with what you say,but there are the usual plonkers who will take exception to what you say without really understanding what you are saying.
            I really feel sorry for this kind of person and I would give them this piece of advice,please get your brain in gear before you open your gob and let the world see you are an idiot,I learnt this years ago and have never forgotten it.


          • Tottywatch says:

            Run away little government troll and sleep well while some other poor c’unt loses a limb for you.


  33. 99
    Muammar Brown says:

    I keeeel all you bigots!


  34. 105
    PigShit says:

    here’s the latest novel nonsense from the EU

    banning cars and limiting rail travel by 2050 all served by unelected nazi diplomats and bog cleaners


    • 116
      nell says:

      All empires expire eventually.

      With luck the eu and the euro will have collapsed long before 2050.


  35. 109
    north briton says:

    Labour`s Gray and Lib Dem Scott getting a pasting on Scottish Leaders` Qyestions live on STV.
    Salmond wiping the floor and Auntie Annabelle doing surprisingly well.


    • 115
      Itchy and Scratchy says:

      Two more fleas fighting to get their fangs into the Rompuy of the Brussels dog.


      • 131
        north briton says:

        Was pointing out to Guido that Annabelle Goldie did well tonight. His obviously planted and snide jibe at her recently was unjustified.

        By contrast Labour`s Gray came across as a twitching, glsassy-eyed mong – this is despite the fact he supposedly outshone Ed Moribund at the last SLAB conference in Glasgow.

        A fucking shambles.

        VOTE SNP


  36. 118
    Limbless mong from the British army says:

    It started off as no fly zone, rapidly moved to regime change, and was quickly followed by arming and supporting the “rebels”.
    Haven’t we been here before?


    • 124
      nell says:

      Please do not call our brave lads and lasses from any of our armed forces

      You might be one , gordon, bliar and militwit and their syncophants certainly are, but the folks who people our army, navy and airforce sure aren’t!!


      • 126
        Limbless mong from the British army says:

        Putting their arses on the line supporting Hamid Karzy and his gang of heroin producers realising this years £65 billion bumper crop, at the behest of the thieving scoundrels in Westminster.
        What else would one call them?


        • 136
          nell says:

          I presume you are a labour Mong on welfare benefit.

          Not likely to get out of bed before midday are you?! let alone, be courageous!? stand up and fight for a principle!? look after your mates!? or courageously do your country’s bidding?!

          No. I presume your are bobcrow currently hiding in your luxury cuban pad your every need being pampered to by your lowly paid cuban slaves at the cuban government’s behest!!

          Isn’t socialism attractive??!!


          • Limbless mong from the British army says:

            “stand up and fight for a principle!?”

            What principle would that be nell?

            Karzy’s Dubai retreat?

            To keep Afghan terrorists off the streets of Britain?

            The poppy crop?

            Wootten Bassetts finest hour on Sky News?

            Pray enlighten us to the purpose of mugging no nothing youngsters with a sense of adventure, and not much else between the ears, as the reason of it all.

            As my old Dad, Ex RN 1940’s used to say, “If you can’t take a joke, you shouldn’t have joined”


      • 127
        QWERTY says:

        Lefties who like to snort Cocaine and work for the BBC hate the armed forces.


        • 130
          Dave takes out onion at PMQs says:

          No. They laugh at them.
          Like politicians.


        • 132
          the blame game says:

          I would check back to at least 1957 before you say lefties hate the armed forces, if you said politicians and the rest then ok.


        • 145
          nell says:

          You are absolutely right. The beeb cowards sneer at anything that looks like courage or decency or honesty or commitment to the country.

          Most of them I suspect are in the pay of the russian secret service! Their news coverage is appalllingly and shamelessly marxist!! .

          Why is cameron and his government still supporting the beeb?!

          Time to sell it off to the highest arab or east european bidder.

          Let’s get rid of it ! All it is, is an unnecessary additional tax on the already overburdened uk taxpayer!

          And if it is made to seek its living as a commercial enterprise I doubt it ‘s going to survive very long!

          I am reserving a bottle of our favourite champagne to toast the day that the beeb finally ceases to exist!


    • 133
      bring home the canon fodder says:

      No that was Iraq and Iran.


  37. 119

    Never read Mary Jenkins.


  38. 128
    Christy says:

    Boris was correct in what he said about Eddie Millimadelasuffratolpud’s rant to his union backer’s audience and the rabble rousing other elements gathered there.
    Blank sheet Red Ed is about as much use as a chocolate fire guard,but what the hell folks he certainly is of use to Cammo,in that he thinks he has just won the lottery in facing this kind of juvenile opposition.
    Please Liebour don’t wake up from the mist which is befuddling your brains,let your saviour Eddy Boy carry on,he really is promoting your values and to our cost a majority of us have now found out exactly what what this means to this country.
    The old labour party of long ago was a totally different animal to the champagne socialists of today.
    IMHO the old party did try and represent ordinary working people who had been exploited by the ruling classes for many years and they did change the politics of this country for the better.
    They could have gone on to do great things for the ordinary people of this nation,but other influences came into play such as marxism ideologies which despite all the hype we now know is a discredited system of state capitalism.
    So starting from Wilson onto Foot and the longest suicide note in history and carrying on to Kinnock the welsh windbag who could’nt keep to his feet in a bath we eventually got to BLIAR,one of the biggest con merchants ever who could’nt lie straight in bed we got to McCavity IMHO the worse chancellor/unelected primeminister this country has ever seen,and now we have Red Eddyboy a totally inept and inane champagne socialist of what this country needs.
    Boris was correct in his assessment of this union backed marxist who if he had a brain at all he would have seen the folly of even getting involved in this kind of union inspired activity in demonstrating against PUBLIC SECTOR CUTS,these people are paid for out of the private sector taxes,they produce nothing except administering services paid for by the private sector,in my opinion they really should be on our side because we are paying them.


    • 135
      KINNOCKIO says:

      I’ve got my party back. We’re awwiggghhttt !!! We’re awwiigghhhttt !!!


      • 148
        Sailor Ted says:

        I’ve got my party back!
        Ho ho ho.


        • 156
          nell says:

          Sorry but kinnochio got the better of you.

          He and his troughing wife went to the Eu and have made themselves millionaires by being unpleasant and selling their souls for everything worthless!!


          • Sailor Ted says:

            “And have made themselves millionaires”
            Hardly fucking worthless, is it nell?
            If only i’d have had a wife, i could have sold your arse out for double the price.


          • Sailor Ted says:

            “And have made themselves millionaires”
            Hardly fucking worthless, is it nell?
            If only i’d have had a wife, i could have sold your arse out for double the pr*ce.


  39. 137
    Anonymous says:

    On the previous post – name and shame. On a more serious note what are we doing in LIBYA? Itwill returnto bite us on the bum!!!!


    • 180
      Quantrill says:

      More importantly perhaps, who exactly are we supporting? Does anyone know? Now mad D wants to give guns and ammo to a bunch of no hopers tearing up and down the Libyan coast road. Not so long ago we were told our troops in Stan were short of weapons and ammo so WTF???


  40. 138
    Clapped Out Clarke says:

    Really enjoyed Paxo tearing Billy Vague to shreads on News Night tonight.

    Hague remit on libya…say the word “Legal” at least 20 times in every interview….LOL


    • 142
      bring home the canon fodder says:

      Paxo, he who never has to make a decision or answer to anyone.
      He is so smart, with the answers of course, during University Challenge. So how do all those young fellow me lads and girls know the answers to those questions. Thickos like me don’t understand the question in the first place.


      • 153
        Saif Al Islam Gaddaffi says:

        And to think the people pay £140+ for the privilege.
        Only the British are that fucking stupid!


        • 175
          beeboid insider says:

          Paxman is a Hunt – wattch Alex Salmond handing him his arse on a plate in any interview


  41. 139
    bring home the canon fodder says:

    Anyone for a game of Libyan ping pong.
    The BBC must be getting fed up with Lybia as Lamb Watch is soon to grace our screens again. More cheap tele, what’s the license fee for, apart for over the top salaries. I ask you!


  42. 140
    Anonymous says:

    Where as my posting gone


  43. 141
    Anonymous says:

    What is going on – modded twice#


  44. 146
    bring home the canon fodder says:

    Goodnight everyone.


  45. 152
    Dave's extraordinary adventure. says:

    So mission creep is already happening. Now they want to supply arms to the “rebels”.

    Look, Libya is not the simple problem of the people v the tyrant Gaddafi that Dave makes out. Libya is a complicated tribal system with complicated tribal loyalties. And if Dave wants to protect Libyan civillians then he has to protect the hundreds of thousands of Libyan civillians who support Gaddafi.

    Dave has made one fooking big mistake. And as far as I can see not giving Gaddafi an escape route to exile is the biggest.

    How did our parliament fall into another Mid east crisis again?


    • 154
      nell says:

      Hundreds of thousands of gad afi supporters?

      That’ll be like the beeb’s hundreds of thousands of government nonjob persons who marched on london at the weekend and trashed shops and offices will it??!!


      • 157
        Ipsa new dawn says:

        If only they’d offered to let Nick Clegg suck their cocks, who knows where we’d be now.


      • 159
        Dave's extraordinary adventure. says:

        Nell as difficult as it may seem to you. Gaddafi would not have remained in power for so many years without popular support. I ain’t arguing the rights or wrongs, just the what is.


      • 168
        Anonymous says:

        Now they have started it they must kill Gaddaffi. Having him remain in power or in exile will only put the UK in extreme danger of certain terrorist attacks masterminded, encouraged and financed by him. I hope they have the stomach to see this through or they have just put us all at risk.


    • 155
      Ipsa new dawn says:

      I blame the voters who fell for the old trick of “Change you can believe in”.


    • 181
      Quantrill says:

      Question?? Was that rabble motoring along the coast road after Nato air attacks had devastated gadaffi’s army civilians or some kind of army? Look like civilians with guns to me…….used to be called terrorists or anarchists until we changed sides. I laughed at their antics when trying to fire a mortar which promptly collapsed. If we don’t know who we are supporting, or what, perhaps we should not have become involved.

      As for their claims that they only want “freedom” perhaps we could do with some of that. There seems to be some double standards at work.


  46. 164
    Gordon Brown says:

    Tomorrow I will be a gerbil.


  47. 165
    a man says:

    No comments on the BBC online disappearing?? Not even a request for a refund of the licence fee for loss of service?


  48. 170
    Ed's brave new world says:

    Last year the Labour Party was beaten badly, recording our lowest share of
    the popular vote since 1983 and losing dozens of excellent MPs.


    The consequences are now being felt not only by the Party but by every
    community across the length and breadth of Britain.


    The reason we did not suffer an even worse defeat – and why we prevented
    the Conservatives from winning the outright victory they craved – is because
    of the determination and organisation of Labour Party members and activists.


    In the face of seemingly impossible odds and against much better-funded
    opponents, local Labour parties in key battles across Britain held the line and
    kept our rivals at bay.


    Our task now is to ensure that same level of energy is replicated at every
    level of the Party.


    We must repair, restore and reform our party to meet the challenges ahead.
    Our opponents threaten not only the values we cherish and the communities
    we serve but have made plain their desire to wreck our party too.


    For instance, we have already seen through their cynical gerryandering of
    Parliamentary constituencies how the Tory-led Government intends to use
    power for narrow political advantage.


    It is essential that Labour is fit for this fight. (… AS OPPOSED TO BEING ABSOLUTELY MINGING)

    I do not want to break the party up, but build it up. Already, 50,000 new members have joined since the last election. We must regard them as only the first wave of recruits.


    We must look to our own traditions as a community-based grassroots party
    where the voices of individual members, trade unionists were always valued.
    But we must also widen our horizons to our supporters and the wider public.

    They must have their say in the future of our party too.


    In 13 years of government, Labour achieved a great deal of which can be
    proud but we also lost touch with many of the people we were founded to
    represent. The process of reconnection over the next few years is both a
    means to regaining the trust of the people and an end in itself.


    In November, I asked Peter Hain, Chair of the National Policy Forum, to write a
    consultation paper taking stock of situation and setting out some key
    questions on what we should do next as we embark on the long road back to
    regaining the trust of British people.


    I believe this document is a frank assessment of our party’s present condition
    and its future prospects. But it is only the beginning. We must listen to our
    members and look outward to the people whose support we seek at election


    I hope you will be active in the coming election campaigns in Scotland, Wales
    and the English regions. Nothing should distract us from that now. But I also
    hope you will find time to read this paper and think about it.


    After this round of elections are over, I want to hear from as many people as
    possible – in constituencies, in the unions, in the affiliated societies, from
    those holding elected public office and beyond – about the future shape of the
    Labour Party.


    Please send us your views on the issues raised in Peter’s paper and make your
    mark on Labour’s future.


    Our task is nothing less than the refoundation of the Labour Party: The
    People’s party.



  49. 171
  50. 176
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Just announced, Ed Miliband is to marry later this year. So we no longer get to call his children bastards!


  51. 178
    Mandy says:

    Andrew Pierce’s mouth is a no fly zone, me hears !


  52. 179
    MarkGerrardMusic says:


  53. 182
    Yo! Screwball says:

    “A mere 20,000 Twitter users steal almost half of the spotlight on Twitter, which now ropes in a billion tweets every week. That means only 0.05% of the social network’s user base attracts attention, according to a new Yahoo Research study. From the article: ‘Like findings in previous studies, the researchers for this one conclude Twitter resembles an information-sharing hub rather than a social network, with the top generators garnering huge follower tallies but not following their content consumers in return.'”

    Car! Boys! Swell!


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