March 28th, 2011

Tory Bagcarriers Census Sleepover

Overblown comparisons to the suffragette movement seem to be all the rage this weekend. After Miliband’s “I have a dream speech” one parliamentary bag-carrier took things a step further. Emily Davidson slept in parliament on the night of 1911 census to highlight the issue of votes for women, and a number of Tory researchers did the same last night to apparently highlight the that “overbearing government is the big issue of the day.” One emailed Guido early this morning to tell him:

“Ordinary people are being increasingly spied on by government snoopers. I wanted to take a stand and highlight the need for parliament to defend our civil liberties. Obviously it’s illegal to refuse to do the census or to lie, so my protest enables me to be honest with the Office of National Statistics without telling them anything about where I live.”

It seems Big Brother Watch have found a different bag-carrier with the same idea. That’ll show ‘em.

UPDATE: It is the head of the household is responsible for accurately completing the forms – not the individuals. Guido very much hopes that Mr Bercow has accurately filled in his forms with all residents of the estate last night because it would be rather unfortunate if he were to be prosecuted and fined £1,000 for incorrectly completing them.


  1. 1
    Lock em up! says:

    149 tosspots charged over Saturday’s violence. Delicious.


    • 2
      Sky News First for Breaking Wind says:

      Socialist thugs smash up London shocker


    • 3
      Tossflap Watch Is Still Very Much Alive And Kicking!!!! says:

      That reminds me- whatever happened to Fucking Delicious?

      He was a fucking deluded tossflap if ever there was one.


      • 23
        AC1 says:

        Where’s that blog you promised Tat?

        You really don’t care about telling the truth.


        • 31
          Tossflap Watch Is Still Very Much Alive And Kicking!!!! says:

          Sorry AC1- if you’re looking for tat you’re looking in the wrong place.

          Now please run along and find some other poster to wrongly accuse of being tat.



        • 48
          When you gonna move out of your parents house? says:

          It’s the mentalist youtube mong who posts at 4am, calls everyone tat, and has no job or friends.


          • Tossflap Watch Is Still Very Much Alive And Kicking!!!! says:

            Well, that certainly isn’t me then!

            I was in bed at 4am this morning, having tossflap-free dreams.


    • 4
      Gordon says:

      Emily Davidson(sic) was a bigoted woman.


      • 7
        Tossflap Watch Is Still Very Much Alive And Kicking!!!! says:

        Better to be bigoted than delusionsal.

        You are a tossflap. Now please fuck off and remind your constituents who you are.


  2. 5
    Disgusted of Neasden says:

    Don’t know what effect these people think they have. The census asks who normally lives at your house, who is staying elsewhwere, and any visitors you have.

    Presumably Mr Bercow will have to list them all on his form …


    • 8
      Up sh1t creek says:

      The census is an unenforceable document with unenforceable fine for not filling it in. “The Occupier” is not a named individual, nobody can be held liable without being specifically named.


      • 15
        Lynnette Occupier says:

        You speak for yourself Mr Creek.


        • 22
          Up sh1t creek says:

          I’m sure you approve that Labour wasted £200,000,000 on the census. And in the interests of tackling the deficit, the coalition decided in May 2010 to add another £300,000,000 to the bill, instead of chalking the £200m as a loss and scrapping the census. (They strangely managed to scrap ID cards scheme despite it already costing a small fortune).

          But hey, you fellatio the government if you want, it’s YOUR money they are burning up, while the politicians and bankers make themselves even more richer at YOUR expense.


          • “fellate”, Mr Creek.


          • Anonymous says:

            You should know, Tuscan Tony. It comes from the Latin verb “fellare”, or “to suck”. Given that your administration sucked big time, and expecting any day another gag reflex-inducing revelation from Cherie that she puts the slotgob to good use as a fellatrix, I bow to your expertise on the matter.


      • 123
        Anonymous says:

        In addition, if you read the large print on the front, you are required only to fill in the census information, either online or on paper. It does not specifically require you to put it in the post. I have filled mine in on paper. It is sitting in my desk drawer as tangible evidence that I have complied with my civic duty, and will remain sitting in my desk drawer for a very long time. If a census enforcement bod calls at my house to enquire why my data is missing from their database, I shall show him or her the filled in form, evidence of my compliance with the law. He or she will not be allowed to take away with them the form, as that would remove from my possession this valuable evidence.

        Legal get out I reckon.


    • 12
      Tread softly for you tread on my dreams says:

      Shhhhh…don’t dis-illusion them..


    • 104
      Mistress says:

      I get the impression that Mrs Bercow is the head of that household.


  3. 6
    Up sh1t creek says:

    The census is private information, so how are they going to know if someone lies UNLESS the Office of National Statistics are not telling the truth, and they ARE cross referencing it with other data, once again breaking the Data Protection Act?

    The data you submit WILL go to the USA via the Lockheed Martin contractor, and just like the 2001 census, a copy will go to Brussels. This breaks the UK’s Data Protection Act.

    Filling in the census you will be aiding and abetting a crime.

    Here’s a clip of councils claiming that the census is used to plan local services. HOWEVER, no such information was needed for government and local councils to cut services.


    • 116
      so there says:


      Mps don’t give a toss about our rights they are only interested in their own

      If it means selling the population down the river – that’s what they will do

      and we will never find out because of the shroud of secrecy they enact everytime they open their mouths

      they are truly scum


      • 117
        so there says:

        by the way

        even though we have spent £450M on the census we won’t be able to see the findings for 100 years – it’s our information not the fucking politicians


  4. 9
    Idiots in permanent supply says:

    The news said a crowd of people surged forward as the cab driver arrived at court this morning to be charged with murder. If he’s guilty, he’s clearly an evil piece of shit. But that aside, I just wonder is there a group of braindead chavs who are always wheeled out for these events just to shriek and run at police vans? Without fail, it happens every single time a murder or nonce suspect is brought to court.

    Do these gormless tracksuit-bottom wearing imbeciles think they can achieve anything by histrionically running towards the police van whilst screaming “murdarah”?


  5. 11
    EdMiliband says:

    Comwades! I have a dream that I feel the hand of destiny on my shoulder as we fight them on the beaches. This man is not for turning – Ich bin ein Berliner! I did not have sex with her ask what your country can do for you.


    • 21
      Whilst Ed is in Churchillian mode says:

      Yet another speech for “Ed” to emulate
      When I stand here this quiet afternoon I shudder to visualise what is actually happening to millions now and what is going to happen in this period when politically inspired Tory cuts stalk the country. None can compute what has been called “the unestimated sum of human pain.” Our supreme task and duty is to guard the services of the common people from the horrors and miseries of another Tory government. We are all agreed on that.

      From Durham in the North to London in the South, an iron curtain has descended across the Country. Behind that line lie all the peoples of the Labour heartlands, all these famous regions and the populations around them lie in what I must call the blight of the Tory sphere, and all are subject in one form or another,to the evil regime of cuts………


    • 106
      Mine d'Boggles says:

      A “Berliner” is actually a “doughnut” in Deutsch. So JFK made a total prick of himself. Plus, the Krauts have been screaming with laughter ever since at ignorant uneducated UK politicians who try so, so, so ineffectually to rub some of the Kennedy shine off onto themselves.


      • 115
        The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

        He should have said “Ich bin Berliner”(I am of Berlin), instead, he said “Ich bin ein Berliner” (I am a ‘Berliner’). In this case he said he was a piece of confectionery.

        The Septics miss some of the local linguistic nuances and customs. An American I knew, whose name is Randall, was brought to a meeting. Instead of waiting to be introduced he lunged forward shook everyone by the hand and said (in a loud voice) ” Hi, I’m Randy”. The girls giggled, the older ladies allowed themselves a little wry smile.


  6. 14
    Sir William Waad says:

    The only question I object to on the Census is the ‘ethnic’ one. It’s intrusive. It’s wrong even to ask. Above all, it’s ill-defined, as people do not clearly belong to ethnic groups and obliging us to give a truthful answer to a vague question, under penalty if we fail, is unjust.

    It also causes problems to the likes of my own dear Lady Waad, who is mainly Nyanja, with some Yao and a dash of Goanese.


    • 102
      Postlethwaite says:

      Agreed, but
      British Passport = British ethnicity
      n’est pas?


      • 107
        Sir William Waad says:

        That’s not what they are asking. Basically, they are being nosy as to whether you are a h***y, a n****r, a p**i or a c***k but they like to phrase these things delicately.


    • 118
      so there says:

      why does it go on about being an asylum seeker even when you state you are a british national born and bred?

      the form is a gross invasion of privacy


  7. 16
    Red has been stupid again says:

    Labour have shot themselves in the foot regarding Saturday’s march. They say the government should change their policies because of the protest. The news says about 250,000 people took part. In contrast, 1m people went on the march against invading Iraq and Labour roundly ignored them. Eddie didn’t really think this through, did he?


    • 24
      Guardianistas Cherished Myths# 234 says:

      Saturday’s March has made this Government think again……


    • 28
      Boat Race fan says:

      On that basis – more rowing all round! There were more of us in London than state dependent workers


    • 75
      The March of the Troglodytes says:

      “The WSPU launched a heightened campaign of protest in 1912 on the basis of targeting property and avoiding violence against any person. Initially this involved smashing shop windows, but ultimately escalated to burning stately homes and bombing public buildings including Westminster Abbey…….”

      Actually Ed was correct in his allusion to the “Suffragettes” but probably not in the way he supposed


    • 127
      Disgusted of Neasden says:

      Come to think of it, how many turned out against the fox-hunting ban – and were also ignored?

      Not that I’m a fox-hunter.


  8. 17
    Sally Bercow tweets says:

    Shit – where was I last night?


    • 20
      Anonymous says:

      In the company of that midget of a husband, that dwarf-sized intellect that hasn’t yet reached double digits. No wonder you felt obliged to get insanely pissed yet again.


    • 128
      Disgusted of Neasden says:

      In the middle of a mass sleepover with a bunch of Tory Researchers, I guess.

      “Did you sleep with that woman?”

      “Not a wink, your honour.”


  9. 18
    Duty Pedant says:

    It wasn’t a “dream speech” Guido, far from it – in fact it was the usual load of horsehit from Militwat.

    What I think you may have been trying to refer to was his “I have a dream” speech?


    • 53
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Ed Miliband gave his speech to marchers, it was SO important, that both the BBC News and Sky News channels decided to break away from it and show something more interesting instead. They did show Brendan Barber’s speech though.


  10. 19
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    So, returning Government spending to 2006 levels is akin to “apartheid” according to Ed Miliband?

    That is just shallow & insulting to anyones intelligence.

    I notice that the Police were very soft yet again on the left wing extremists.

    Probably saving their strength & baton charges for middle aged women on the next Countryside Alliance march.


    • 33
      Anonymous says:

      I wonder what the chances are that more than 500,000 people could be got together to march under the banner “cut faster, cut deeper”?


      • 46
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        I dont think they can get the same day of work , unlike the public sector wasters.


        • 109
          Tell it like it really is says:

          Plus the various unions paid all transport costs to get their useless, idle, leeches, oops sorry, union members, to London.


      • 60
        Up sh1t creek says:

        No chance, those people in private sector jobs having to shell out for the public sector, they’ve no time (or money) for marches.

        No private sector = no public sector. Why is it so hard for a politicians to actually say that?


      • 65
        Tessa Tickles says:

        The odds are quite high – how many people choose “buy one get one free” offers? Millions, I would think. ‘Savings’ are very, very popular. Government savings are only ‘cuts’ in the doublespeak of the BBC/Guardian/Labour Party.


      • 71
        Bled White Taxpayer says:

        Reminds me of that 60s film “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” So go on then George, faster, faster!


  11. 25
    UK Census questions in 2021 says:

    Infidel! Answer this census or you will be beheaded!

    1. How many wives do you have?

    2. How many kuffars have you beheaded in the last week?

    3. Are you Shia or Sunni?

    4. Do you pray 5 times a day to allah? Warning: be honest as your answer will be cross-checked with CCTV footage of your home! Any man found to be lying and praying less than 5 times a day will receive 100 lashes! Women will be stoned to death.


  12. 27
    I hate dykes says:

    Let’s get it right the Suffragettes were mostly men hating lesbians (in particular Emily Pankhurst who was a raving dyke) who supported WW1, in fact they backed the war which of course saw over 1 million males from this Country (some just boys) slaughtered in France. Another million were so badly fucked up they never recovered.

    Pankhurst and her dyke mates did this to allow women to takeover the jobs in the Factories, in fact the women had such a great time the Government had to introduce the current licencing laws to keep them out of the pubs.

    Not only that but Pankhurst and her dykes were not happy that enough men were being slaughtered so helped start the white feather campaign that was designed to ‘shame’ young boys into joining up and also go and get blown to pieces in France.

    Pankhurst and her dyke mates are no heroes, they were cowards and liars. Miliband would be at home with them today.


  13. 29
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have a nightmare – someone pregnant woman wouldn’t give up her seat for me.


  14. 30
    hmmm says:

    Where did Gordon spend the night – in 100 yrs time we will be able to find out when they are released.
    We can be sure it was nowhere near Westminster
    We know Sarah was in Kent


  15. 34
    Sky News First for Breaking Wind says:

    ‘The seven months pregnant woman told to give up her British Airways seat… just so Gordon Brown could fly Club Class’ –


    • 37
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      yes it has been plastered all over this site all weekend FFS


    • 82
      Who put me with THAT woman...I think it was Sue wasn't it ? says:

      Probably an object lesson on how NOT to handle an irate PREGNANT member of the travelling public…it wasn’t Brown’s fault in this instance more of his replacement for “Sue” I suspect whose belligerence appears to have fanned the flames of outrage even more than it needed to be fanned…a diplomatic word of sympathy and concern may well have diffused the situation and put the blame squarely where it belonged on to BA..the problem is that politicians and their adies simply do not get it and it’s just another “Do you know who I am” episode in an increasingly out touch political class who have no concept of ordinary life be they LABOUR or Tory


  16. 36
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The state should serve the people not the other way around.


    • 49
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Quite. What about the £1 billion fine the EU’s handed us (us, the taxpayer) because our elected government (past and present) hasn’t spent our money in a manner that an unelected foreign power insists our money should be spent?

      hy did Damp Dave take this lying down? Why didn’t he stand up for us? Not a whimper from him. So much for Hague’s “we’re a sovereign nation.”What an utter Hoon.


    • 61
      Cato Street Conspirator says:

      Billy, you’re so wrong – the State shouldn’t exist. It’s only purpose is to give inadequates the illusion of power.


  17. 38
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    Laws are for little people.

    Oh bollocks.


  18. 39
    Kerry Katona says:

    I really, like, sort of, like Labour kind of thing. I want to, like, sort of, stand for Labour in a seat sort of thing.


  19. 43
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “You are not allowed to say that you ar white , working class and English.If you do you will be charged with racial hate crimes”


    • 52
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Yes, but I’m now officially a Jedi Knight. :-)


      • 63
        nell says:

        Gosh Tessa what on earth are your descendents going to make of that when they dig out the 2011 census trying to find their ancestors for their family history!?

        I’ve told them I’m the last of the fen tigers!


        • 70
          Tessa Tickles says:

          I shall speak to my descendants through the power of The Force.


        • 72
          12 fingers good 10 fingers bad says:

          When I first read that I thought it said it ten fingers rather than fen tigers. Should have known it was Norfolk we’re talking about where ten fingers are a fucking novelty.


        • 98
          Aboriginal Rights For Fenlanders- Now!!!! says:

          Nell, it’s time for us to reclaim our aboriginal rights.

          I want my land back, I want it flooded, I want a boat so I can live as my ancestors, I want the right to shag my sister…

          ….and I want to restore Wisbech to it’s rightful place- underwater!!!!


      • 85
        Dudeism biggest religion in the UK(official) says:

        Hey Dude…Jedi is so yesterday


    • 58
      trevor says:

      Sounds like you need a thorough de-briefing and a probe launching into your bumhole.


    • 103
      Postlethwaite says:

      Yes, Billy you are right.
      I wanted to say ‘white heterosexual male’ in that box.
      But it looks like because I am indigenous population, that is not allowed.


  20. 45
    Fa Kin Su Pah says:

    As head of the household I ordered my wife
    to fill it in and then refused to answer
    any questions.


  21. 46
    Moley says:

    Worth a read; (Comment on the Labour riots).

    Along with “seen elsewhere” on UK Uncut’s hijacking of the event; (Comment from LabourList).


  22. 57
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I’m sure the many ‘libertarians’ who post here will have refused to complete the census. That’s right, isn’t it?


    • 88
      Engineer says:

      One suspects that some will have filled it in as they see appropriate. For example, under ‘ethnicity’, one could put ‘homo sapiens’. (A perfect politician’s answer, by the way – totally accurate, but revealing nothing that was not already known.)


  23. 59

    O/T but where did Boots dig up the munters in the No 7 ad above, just so I know never to go there.


  24. 66
    nell says:

    So emilydavidson used the Houses of Parliament for B&B.

    I do hope the authorities will be charging her the appropriate london rate for that privelege.


  25. 76
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m a door handle.


  26. 80
    Helen says:

    I remember the poll tax. Both my husband and myself had full time, but low paid jobs, struggling to buy our first home and raise a family. All our money was accounted for, so I took on a weekend job just to pay the poll tax. My [single] brother refused to pay and the government wiped it off.

    I won’t fall for that again.


  27. 92
    Phil says:

    In lieu of the BBC line that the rabble arrested over rioting at the Protest rally were predominantly anarchists and not part of the rally itself wouldn’t it be interesting to find out just what they did for a living?


    • 95
      Engineer says:

      Claim benefits, usually. Anarchists and SWP activists don’t believe in being paid slaves of the capitalist oppressors, you see.


    • 111
      Tell it like it really is says:

      See DM – Leader of UKuncut is son of theatre director, ex Oxford, ex teacher quoted as teaching pupils to be homosexual and ex bbc – who would have thought it.


  28. 94
    Engineer says:

    That’s a tad unusual. In the normal course of events, stories about researchers sleeping in Parliament have a slightly different slant.


    • 122
      so there says:

      don’t believ a word of this

      researchers don’t do any work rather just answer constituents questions in braille for their mp to sign

      they are also very abusive to constituents who don’t tow the party line


  29. 97
    Weygand says:

    I’m surprised feminists have not taken Guido to task over his anachronistic “Head of the Household”.

    Now it is just down to the ‘Householder’, ie” the person who owns/rents (or jointly owns/rents) the accommodation, and/or
    is responsible (or jointly responsible) for paying the household bills and expenses.”

    In view of his complex financial arrangements, it may well be Mrs Guido who is the one responsible for the Census.


  30. 105
    Kate McCann says:

    Census? Questions? I refuse to answer. Buy a wristband?


  31. 110
    MB. says:

    The census form was not as intrusive as I expected.

    As long ago as 1901 the Canadians had to enter on their census form how much they earned.


  32. 112
    Desperate Dan says:

    Little Johnny Bercow is allowing MPs, Lords and every other Tom, Dick and Harry to turn the Palace of Westminster into a Doss House. He is treated with contempt because he has no authority. Get rid of him.


    • 113
      Desperate Dan says:

      “If I say the Speaker is a man of great stature and peerless integrity and a great hero of Guido Fawkes” will that pass your drachonian purse-lipped moderation system?


  33. 114
    Anonymous says:

    “It is the head of the household is responsible for accurately completing the forms – not the individuals” I am having great difficulty with this as my wife is not agreeing as to who is the head of the household. Maybe we could get a clear definition as to who is head of the household, what are the criteria, in the event of domestic disagreement what routes are open to arbitration, have health and safety issues been fully explored regarding the potential outcomes of issuing this form? Also has a complete risk assessment been undertaken as to the potential consequences generated by the issue of this ‘head of household’ statement? As there is no clear agreement as to who is the head of our house hold I’m afraid that this form cannot be truly filled in!!


    • 129
      Anonymous says:

      Fortunately, we got two forms with slightly different addresses – so we filled in one each.


  34. 119
    Gary Elsby Stoke says:

    Emily who?


  35. 130
    Jimmy says:

    “It is the head of the household is responsible for accurately completing the forms ”

    So what are you whingeing about then?


  36. 131

    Is your Chameleon all politician and no policy ?

    ‘Chameleon Man’ is now online @


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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