March 22nd, 2011

Blinky Ball’s Mystery £7,000

Blinky BallsLabour’s response to the budget tomorrow will no doubt include how out of touch Osborne is, and how only Labour understand the squeezed middle. Guido wonders how many of that squeezed middle have seven grand to pay into the bank on an idle Tuesday. No such worry for Ed Balls, who Guido sees was doing exactly that in NatWest on Victoria Street at around 10 o’clock this morning.

Legal fees Shadow Chancellor?


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Hang him!

    • 5
      Tessa Tickles says:

      By his genitals.

      • 8
        jgm2 says:

        Nope. There’s a Toyota tow-hitch in Mogadishu with his name on it.

        • 55
          Tessa Tickles says:

          Connected, initially, to his genitals.

          With a backup rope to his newly-pierced nipples. Then, a third backup rope to hooks in the soft part of his hands, between thumb and forefinger (Labour’s beloved socialist paradise of North Korea uses this trick). And a final backup rope to his ankles.

      • 212
        gildedtumbril says:

        Who says he’s got any?

    • 168
      Ed Balls says:

      I told the BBC that if Labour were still in power, I’d have had the economy back on track by this summer.


      Yes, of course I did.

    • 231
      Alexandr Orlov says:

      Balls is an obnoxious, slimey, two-faced, overweight, corrupt crook…Simples!!!

  2. 2
    Ed Bollokov ( Son of Brown, Deficit-Admirer-in Chief ) says:

    I am the Shallow Chancer, NOT the Shadow Chancellor.

    • 121

      Shallow indeed and a thick turd to boot. I heard Balls banging on the other day how the UK should introduce a low rate of VAT of 5% on Home improvements. What complete and utter Tosh. VAT is a european wide tax. our masters in Brussels allow it to be called different things in different countries but it all adheres to the same rules. They would never give the UK a derivation to apply a 5% rate on DIY. Balls knows this, the dogs on the street know it. He is a lying Turd!!!

      • 173
        oddly helpful says:

        DEROGATION not ‘derivation’ – and you’re right they wouldn’t forego taxing us,

        • 179

          You might be right? Anyway it pretty much amounts to the same thing. Later on Balls started piping up about how UK financial services such as Pensions provision had to compete on a world stage. Even more ignorance. You have to be a UK resident to take out a Personal pension in the UK. Foreigners could purchase an annuity here. However why would they If you’re an American male annuity rates in any EU country are soon set to be lower than what could be obtained in other countries ( Due to the absurd ECJ ruling) In short Balls has not got a Fuc***g clue what he is talking about!!!!

  3. 3
    Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Croquet, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

    He paid in SEVEN GRAND ?? That’s my dinner money.

  4. 4
    Ampers says:

    We need to know, Guido, did he have it in a brown envelope?

    • 36
      Anonymous says:

      Doesn’t £7k have to be declared by the bank for possible money laundering?

      • 95
        Croesus says:

        Not sure. We got taken over and my share options were worth 37K. I don’t remember the bank enquiring where this sudden largesse came from.

        The MD got 2 million for his options. Perhaps the bank might have been a little more interested in that.

      • 201
        Anonymous says:

        The Banks are legally obliged to make a suspicious activity (SARS) report to the Police only in cases when there is unusual activity involving a large sum of money through an account. Judging by the large amounts of income both Balls claim on their second home allowances £7000 is a mere pittance to them and such deposits are probably not uncommon. Isn’t Socialism Wonderful.

    • 42
      Ken Lorp says:

      It’s probably the sponsorship money he receives from Optrex.

      I’m sure he convinced them that it’s far more convenient to give it to him in a brown envelope!

    • 85
      Polly's Villa in Tuscany says:

      It’s the last of his Smith Institute Backsheesh that he has been hiding. He’s trying to dribble it into his account for quite a while now…

  5. 6
    jgm2 says:

    Seriously Guido? Paid in? I’d have thought all his parliamentary expenses and suchlike would be settled by Direct Debit.

    Where’s he getting 7,000 in cheques and/or cash from?

    • 12
      Anonymous says:

      Is a bank clerk breaking a confidence? That’s a bit naughty.

      • 15
        jgm2 says:

        It is. But then it’s the conspiracy of silence that allowed the c*unts to destroy the entire UK economy in the first place.

        • 39
          Hugh Janus says:


        • 124
          misterned says:

          And they wanted to know every fucking penny everyone else had, where they got it from and where it was going, so fuck them if they want any privacy!

          • jgm2 says:

            And they wanted you to carry an ID card so you’d have to produce your ‘authorisation’ any time you wanted to conduct practically any transaction either. For your own safety you understand. Voluntarily.


      • 16
        Cynical-old-bag says:

        Needn’t be a bank clerk – could have been someone else in the queue. Just doing their civic duty.

        • 19
          Anonymous says:

          Be a bit hard to count cash or see a cheque from the queue?

          Strongly suspect bank clerk. Not sure I approve, even for Balls.

          • jgm2 says:

            I heartily approve if it was 7,000 in cash.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Why the barstards have been spying us for years

          • Anonymous says:

            If it was a clerk he/she needs to be careful ‘cos Balls could easily complain. Would be some awkward questions at least.

            Just add another job loss to Balls’ tally?

          • Banking for idiots says:

            I agree. The receipt will bear the till stamp id of the cashier who received the credit.If it’s cash it will also be recorded through their Till Terminal which will bear their uniqur personal id and will also be traceable through every department of the bank with each member of staff having a unique id number which is recorded against anyone who processed it.It should be pretty easy for any Bank Auditor to find out if anybody has broken their terms of employment.Merely by interviewing all staff involved should discover that in a few minutes.

            I have no time for Balls personally but this is a breach of trust if it involves a bank employee and not to be condoned

          • jgm2 says:

            but this is a breach of trust

            What about Balls’ breach of trust when he, along with Brown, totally destroyed the UK economy. You know, ran up an additional 800bn quid of debt while proclaiming their ‘prudence’. That breach of trust.

            Ned Balls? Breach of trust? He can go and fuck himself.

          • smoggie says:

            It could have been anyone in the branch not just the teller (sic).

          • Cynical-old-bag says:

            As I said – it needn’t have been a member of staff. It could have been a customer standing at the next till, who looked over and saw. It could have been anyone.

          • Asquith says:

            Agreed. This is more meaningless piffle, Guido. Where’s the LibidoDem scandal story you promised?A

        • 87
          Ed But Look Balls says:

          The queue must have been gypping, the smell of shit like Blinky would be overpowering!

      • 23
        The Till Spike says:

        Not only that but it is “gross misconduct” under their “Contract of Employment” and a sackable offence…or it was in my days in the bank…whatever your political views the rule of confidentiality is a basic condition of employemnt in any bank

        • 27
          Mervyn King (can I have my Knighthood now please) says:

          Which is why I said nothing while Brown and Balls were plundering and destroying the UK economy.

        • 33
          Anonymous says:

          I agree, Till. We use banks as well, remember?

          • It didn’t come from the cashier.. it was someone in the queue who overheard.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            The real surprise in this story is that someone in the queue saw Balls paying £7K into a bank and.. didn’t lynch Balls.

          • jgm2 says:

            Cash or cheques Guido?

            Cheques might be his and Yvettes weekly expenses cheques. But cash….

          • Guido Fawkes says:

            Ah guido – thanks for that update – trolls can stop hanging a cashier… or two

            now then we looking for Natwest (thats rbs folks) customer, probably with internet savvu (they talk to guido) and we can triangulate mobile phones and nail the sucker……

            Good to know balls uses the bank he busted and now owns….

          • Anonymous says:

            Cashier posing as customer? How does Guido know?

            OK – it doesn’t matter.

          • Guido Fawkes says:

            anyone think mr osbourne would like the £7k deposit for a joke or two…

            We are all in it togeher – feeling the pain – except the shadow chancellor who can deposit £7000 the day before budget…. how strange

            a quiet day to drop bad news ….

          • Number 10's Cunt says:

            If another customer overheard the amount, it was almost certainly cash. When paying in a cheque the amount is never said, but when paying in cash, you tell the cashier how much and they count it and confirm it.

          • smoggie says:

            And more to the point, why was Balls doing it in person? Get some flunkie to do it, and intern or summat.

        • 68
          Fa Kin Su Pah says:

          British banks today are squalid, dirty,
          noisy, uncivilised, chimp tea party dumps
          lacking any privacy whatever.

          • Cynical-old-bag says:

            That’s what the Banks want. Noticed how the banking halls of almost every High Street Bank have changed? Cashiers tills have decreased considerably, and the self-service payment machines have doubled in numbers. They don’t want you taking up the cashier’s time, they want you to serve yourself. Saves them having to employ loads of people, and you can just go in and deposit your money – that’s what they want!

            Easy peasy money for old rope.

          • Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

            They don’t want you to have money, full stop. Nasty, dirty, bothersome stuff.

            Electronic transactions is where their at. More control by the state and less bother and fewer employes for the bank (ie MORE profit) and none of those awful bank roberies, the ones that are done TOO them I’m talking about. Theveing Cunwnts.

          • ichabod says:

            Agreed, practically every bank I go into these days, has piped music trying to soothe us all. It makes them all seem so tacky and desperate, but whenever I complain ( last time it was because Tom Jones was giving it his everything) they always say its because head office decrees it.

    • 25
      Peter Grimes says:

      It’s this week’s ‘expenses’ instalment!

    • 30
      Anonymous says:

      It’s a simple matter to transfer funds between ones own savings accounts and current account online, it’s called online banking.

  6. 7
    Joss Taskin says:

    In readies or expenses cheques ??

  7. 9
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Hang on Guido, I thought his landlord was sueing him for 2k , Why would you pay more in legal fees than you are being sued for, I supose its typcal Ed Balls judgement, Pay 7k to lose a cased that you only owed 2k in ? Is Balls bonkers?

  8. 10
    Penfold says:

    Cash?, cheque? drawer?
    If cash we should report this, as he may be on the take, and can offer no reasonable reason for having such a large sum of money.

    Unless he was paying into a Court Account to settle his landlord’s dispute ;-)

    Balls cannot claim to represent the working class, the squeezed middle classes or even the midly affluent. 2 Shadow Cabinet salaries plus all those loverley expenses plus travelling, groceries that the pair jointly claim, he’s getting more than poor ole Georgie Osborne.

  9. 13
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    He’s probably opened an ISA cos he’s got wind of what’s going to happen in the Budget. :0)

  10. 14
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    unless he bullied Ed Miliband to pay for his legal fees, As a socailist it is always someone elses money.

    • 44
      yeah right, someone elses money says:

      So Billy, whose money are you pissing up the wall when you’re posting on here every 5 minutes when you should be working?

  11. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Is it his winnings from the ‘how hypocritical can Ed Miliband be on Libya’ sweep?

  12. 20
    Labour doesn't half have a brass neck says:

    It was Labour who squeezed the middle class into near non existence into the first place and now they are claiming to understand the same squeezed middle?

    Its about a credible defense as a battered wife hears from her abusive husband; ‘ooooooh I won’t beat you black and blue next time love, I promise, I only do it you know because I love you’

  13. 22
    Loungelizard says:

    Seven grand, nothing to these boys, gone in the blink of an eye!

  14. 24
    Sir William Waad says:

    For that, I get an entire, no-holds barred weekend with Yvette.

  15. 32
    Drowning in debt! says:

    The legal fees should be deducted from his salary. He has the luxury of a well paid job which he is underqualified for. He should stop money grubbing from poor people. Bad economics!

  16. 35
    Ed But Look Balls says:

    It’s from his Dad, Gordon to buy some gold back!

    • 38
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Typical Gordon , Sell low , buy high.

      • 45
        Anonymous says:

        Yeah, using £7k to buy back £1k’s worth of gold.

        • 49
          jgm2 says:

          Pah. A bargain. What about Brown using 5bn quid of tax-payers money to underwrite his 65K job representing the fuckwits of Cowdenbeath. When he can be bothered.

  17. 40
    marcus Aurelius says:

    Moscuvite Gold

  18. 41
    Knock in Shoppe says:

    The immoral earnings of Labour parteh hoes?

  19. 43
    Gooey Blob says:

    The last Labour government was living in fantasy land, throwing money around as if it grew on trees, and landed us in this mess. Some on the left have begun to realise this. Alas, in Ed Balls I see no signs of repentance for the calamity he helped bring about, and not even the merest hint that he might now understand the error of his former ways. If granted another chance at running the economy, he will clearly make the same mistakes again and again, leaving others to clear up the mess each time.

    Ed Balls still doesn’t get it. He’s the one who is out of touch.

    • 47
      Hugh Janus says:

      Spot on!

    • 100
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Labour sill cannot take the blame for the mess THEY created. Blame it on someone else is their m o.

      • 157
        Guido Fawkes says:

        balls blames torries/libdems for opposing his banking reforms…?

        which turned out to be too soft and thus should be opposed… ?

        a laughable rant that tries to rewrite history in his own words…….

  20. 48
    Steve Miliband says:

    No doubt £7k into an ISA.

    However he’s not really in touch is he? How many people actually have a spare £7k?

    • 52
      Anonymous says:

      Ah possible. Is the end of the tax year, after all.

      Yes, £7k in cash isn’t usual for most people.

    • 56
      the old Dufflebag says:

      after a good weekend pimping yvette perhaps

    • 59
      Anonymous says:

      Er, wouldn’t most financially savvy people have the alloted amount of money in an ISA at the beginning of the tax year to maximise gains?

    • 108
      News of the Screws says:

      7 grand is over the cash ISA limit. He could have paid it into both kinds of ISA, I suppose. OTOH you’d have thought that anyone with a ministerial salary would pay into an ISA at the beginning of the financial year, not the end.

      • 185
        Hugh Janus says:

        Anyone with any sense that is, so that immediately rules out the Testicular One.

  21. 50
    Observer says:

    While queueing at my bank, I saw a minister paying in a cheque for £14 billion of UK taxpayer funds made out in favour of the European Union. Apparently this is a practice that has gone on for many years despite the EU having accounts that the auditors will not approve.

    • 74
      couldn't run a piss up etc says:

      Either a criminal conspiracy is going on or the EU is full of fuckwits… decide.

      • 78
        A Fuckwit says:

        Don’t compare us to those c u n t z in the EU

        • 110
          Up sh1t creek says:

          Why can’t we compare? The EUSSR have their accounts cooked so much they have not been signed off for over 10 years. Here in the UK, the Office of National Statistics have been cooking the UK’s books for years, aided and abetted by the Bank of England who are also cooking the books.

          The UK is just like the EUSSR = corrupt.

  22. 51
    Steve Miliband says:

    Perhaps he’s making a donation to Comic Relief after Gordon Brown’s heroic appearance on the cult BBC show.

    Maybe not.

  23. 53

    The BBC actor hired to play the part of Al Megrahi, in their new production of “Don’t Cry for Me Libya”, has just died.

  24. 57

    Balls has been trying to guess Osborne’s popular choices so he can claim them as his own. “That’s what we would do..but not that..not any cuts…”

    • 61
      Tax Payer says:

      Osborne could have a decent dig in his speech at Balls about the £7k. If he was so minded?

      • 76
        jgm2 says:

        It would help if it were true though. Plus there’s deliberate ambiguity in the story. It’s written to suggest that Ned was paying in a couple of envelopes full of loose fivers but he might have just been, as others have said, opening an ISA.

        That said, Ned is hardly looking at the ‘big picture’ if he’s worried about saving the tax on 7,000 quid – currently paying about 3%. What’s that at 40% tax? 7,000 x 3% = 210 quid. Tax on that about eighty quid. For a couple on over half a million quid a year it’s hardly worth the paperwork and hassle.

        • 80
          Anonymous says:

          Suspect was cash because then he would have to say “there’s £7k” and be over heard. A cheque speaks for itself.

          Suspiciously round number?

        • 81
          financial genius he ain't says:

          Leaving it a bit late to pay into an ISA isn’t he?

        • 148
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          When I said he was opening an ISA, I was being facetious.

          I think Ed and Yvette have probably got better places to stash their dosh.

    • 191
      Hugh Janus says:

      “Balls has been trying to guess Osborne’s popular choices so he can claim them as his own. “That’s what we would do..but not that..not any cuts…”

      At the start of his budget speech Osborne should spend at least 15 minutes setting out in detail how NuLiebour landed us in this unholy mess, as there seem to be plenty of people who are in deep, deep denial – and we are not talking just Liebour MPs here either. The people who voted for them, in the face of the most overwhelming odds, also have a great deal to answer for. With an economic situation like ours it is a complete mystery to me why they were not annihilated at the GE, and then lynched in the street for good measure.

      Such was the extent of their financial crimes we should ensure that generations to come will never be in any doubt why we are sliding down the world rankings of anything that is worthwhile, and why their standard of living is as bad as it will inevitably be.

  25. 58
    Mumsnet says:

    I’m sure it was payment for a worthy working class socialist thing, like school fees, last minute ski holiday, new Volvo or perhaps a new pony for Tarquin and Camilla

    • 152
      Caroline Lucas - Green says:

      Actually it was a down payment for research into a new alternative energy concept, very hush-hush at the moment, but I don’t think he’ll mind me telling you that a lot of hot air is involved.

  26. 63
    Steve Miliband says:

    When Balls makes an ‘Investment’ is it not really a cut? The bank had better do an audit,as they will probably find they end up £7k short

  27. 65
    Doubting Thomas says:

    Cash for questions?

    Watch for mention of special interest groups in his Parliamentary speeches.

  28. 75
    QWERTY says:

    That’s the Liebour party moving Gaddafi’s money around for him.

  29. 79
    Gormless Gidders says:

    I see Libya Operation “Save Hague’s Career” isn’t going too well….LOL

    Whats Op called – Dunno
    Who’s in charge – Dunno
    Whats our Goal – Dunno
    How much is it costing – Dunno

    No one has the appetite for this…. so keep at it

    • 86
      Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

      Question 3:

      £3,000,000 every 24 hours.

      Vanity wars for “nearly elected” Prime Ministers do not come cheap.

      Blue Labour out.

    • 102
      smoggie says:

      What the fuck has this got to do with Balls’ unaccounted £7,000 dosh being slipped into an account?

      Where did he get it from, is the question, not Hague’s career?

      • 111
        Anonymous says:

        Why cash – that’s the question?

        Any business transactions or personal ‘moving about’ would be cheques. Why does he need to be messing about with large amounts of cash?

        • 115
          jgm2 says:

          Chinese whispers time. There’s no mention of it being cash in the story. And Guido’s not saying despite being asked for clarification. Probably because he knows it wasn’t cash but, as others have suggested, an ISA payment.

          It’s just a teaser.

        • 122
          Tessa Tickles says:

          Tax evasion, usually.

  30. 82
    Gormless Gidders says:

    You should be more concerned with what awful crap Gidders is about to dump upon us all.

    Furthermore Gidders comes across as a jumped up little Na*zi. He is really quite creepy.

    • 91
      jgm2 says:

      Look, just be grateful you haven’t got the Maximum Imbecile or Balls up there explaining how they’ll be forced to print another 200bn quid this year to pay the public service again.

    • 104
      Anonymous says:

      Is this Gidders the one who has said there’ll be no new tax rises or ‘cuts’?

  31. 83
    Desperate Dan says:

    I’m the middle and no-one’s squeezed me yet.

    • 90
      between a cock and a hard place says:

      The squeezed middle are the only suckers left with any real money if you think about it.

      • 117
        Desperate Dan says:

        The millionaire Tony Blair’s got money. So have the Leftie millionaires John Prescott, Polly Toynbee, Alan Rusbridger, Kevin Maguire, Sean Woodward, Mark Thompson. As Denis Healey would say “Squeeze them till the pips squeak”.

  32. 84
    Sir William Waad says:

    Big Ed has more confidence in the solvency of NatWest bank than I have. Isn’t it owned by the state-subsidised, porage-gobbling losers at RBS?

  33. 92
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Backsheesh, init.

  34. 99
    Blinky is an evil fucking cunting sack of shit stained vomit says:

    Sleazy, slimy, crooked c unt. I fucking hate Ed Balls. I fucking hope he gets cancer and dies a slow agonising death.

  35. 101
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Everytime i try and launder money i always set the washing temp wrong.

  36. 109
    Rowley Birkin QC says:

    fucker. If only we had known Balls was on the street carrying 7 grand around with him, what a flash mob that could have been.

    “Give me my money back you thieving bastard!”

  37. 114
    Ed Balls says:

    Don’t be so howwible about me. I’m a man of utmost integwity and pwobity. The landlowd is a howwible Towy who’s twying to besmiwch my good chawactew.

  38. 116
    Billy Bowden is not the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Anyone want Ed Balls pin number ?

  39. 118
    gildedtumbril says:

    I insist upon knowing where this money was stolen, before we hang him. Such monies in cash is definitely to be referred to plod for investigation of source. So plod could have leaked story.
    Most banks are scared shitless of ‘regulations’ concerning suspicious sums.Any and all sums in the hands of balls are suspicious.
    Hanging is a fine method to persuade not to re-offend.

    • 120
      Lord Denning says:

      It looks like the cash limit is £10k, so this particular drug deal will not register.

  40. 119
    I wish someone would get medieval on Ed Balls says:

    Whenever I see Blinky’s ugly fucking mug, I just wish someone would get the same revenge a character in Pulp Fiction planned: “I’m gonna call a couple of hard, pipe hittin ni**ers to go to work on homeboy here with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. You hear that?! I’m gonna get medieval on yo ass!”

  41. 123
    Shaggy dog tory says:

    But the cash ISA allowance is £5100.

    • 142
      Rowley Birkin QC says:

      I would have thought a tory (even a shaggy one) would know that you can deposit more than that much cash into a stocks ‘n shares ISA and hold it there for a short period (while not earning interest) for the purpose of purchasing said stocks ‘n shares.

  42. 125
    Phwooar! says:

    I don’t know her name but the BBC news presenter on right now is yummy.

    • 182
      Ed But Look Balls says:

      That’ll be ‘granny tits’ Maitless showing her legs off!

      • 242
        Airey Belvoir says:

        ‘Granny Tilts’ indeed. She must be really pissed off that the first pic of her that comes up on Google images is that horrendous sight, pissed, with tits like roofers’ nailbags…..

  43. 126
    Martin Day says:

    For crying out loud !

    Can’t an MP pay off his credit card balance in full without Guido assuming the worst ?

    Thank heavens Ed Balls didn’t deposit his dosh in one of Lord Ashcroft’s bank’s in the Cayman Islands

  44. 128
    misterned says:

    I remember when I could lay my hands on 7K in cash anytime I might have needed it. Didn’t think it was a lot either.

    However, after 13 years of economic genocide from labour, I would have a great deal of difficulty laying my hands on 700. I could probably just about manage 70 at the moment.

  45. 129
    PigShit says:

    they’re all out of touch

    if any mps are reading – fuck off your lying cheating bastard scum

  46. 133
    Postal Vote says:

    You’ve got to give him credit for doing so well for himself. Without postal votes he would not have been reelected (he had a majority of just over 900 in a consitutency in which 10,000 votes were ov the postal, i.e. labour machine, variety) .

    For the next election Balls needs either another constituency (will the other Ed try and get rid of him?) or AV.

    • 146
      Rowley Birkin QC says:

      For the next election Balls is going to need –

      a) Body armour
      b) Personal security
      c) A fuckin’ miracle

  47. 135
    Breaking News says:

    Deputy chief constable of Wiltshire police found dead. Death comes before results of an internal investigation.

  48. 137
    jgm2 says:


    BBC names and shames those who failed to support our glorious war of liberation in Libya…

    Notice the Maximum Imbecile is not listed as absent or abstained so must have supported the latest idiocy. Figures. Wherever idiocy is at large he won’t be far from the scene.

    • 147
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Oh dear, my MP (Simon Kirby, Con, majority: a laughable 1,328) voted in favour.

      Another reason not to vote for him.

  49. 140
    Steve Miliband says:

    Would you accept a cheque from Balls? Thought not

  50. 141
    Billy Bowden is not the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I wouldn’t be seen anywhere near a Nat West bank……..

    I bank with Belize Bank,I’m not stupid.

  51. 150
    Sherlock Bones says:

    Let’s look at the evidence:

    It was probably cash because with a cheque he wouldn’t have to say “£7k” and be overheard. Also, he paid it in early, probably wanting to avoid carrying £7k round in his pocket all day.

    He probably travelled down from the constituency yesterday so today is the first chance he got this week.

    Was there a constituency or party ‘do’ last weekend which raised the cash? But then why is he paying it in rather than somebody from the local party?

  52. 151
    Billy Bowden is not the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido Fawkes can help you to protect your important documents and valuables that would be difficult or impossible to replace. Items that can be protected in a Guido Fawkes safety deposit box include, but are not limited to:

    • Automobile lease agreements
    • Automobile titles
    • Birth certificates
    • Confidential items and documents
    • Employee benefit records
    • Household inventory lists and photos
    • Income tax records
    • Insurance policies
    • Jewelry
    • Loan documents
    • Marriage licenses
    • Property deeds
    • Rare coins and stamps
    • Stock certificates
    • Savings bonds
    • Trust documents

    We offer various sizes of boxes that can accommodate just about any need. Guido Fawkes Safety Deposit Boxes are available for a minimum yearly fee.

  53. 153
    Rowley Birkin QC says:

    I have the answer!!

    Balls’s share of this £250k bank raid –

    So much for the Japanese bearing their misfortune stoicallly and in good order.

  54. 154
    Martin Day says:

    Whatever next ??

    Former Liberal Democrat MP Mark Oaten, who quit parliament after cheating on his wife with a rent boy, has taken a job promoting the fur trade.

    Mr Oaten, 47, is now the chief executive of the Surrey based International Fur Trade Federation that promotes the industry and gives it a “factual image”.

    The move was today branded a “disgrace” by anti-fur pressure group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta

  55. 155
    Voice of Reason says:

    Sorry to digress but it’s just been on the news. Midsomer Murders is to get its first ethnic – a Pakistani terrorist who blows up the parish council members.

  56. 156
    Voice of Reason says:

    Sorry to digress but it’s just been on the news. Midsomer Murders is to get its first ethnic – a coffee coloured terrorist who blows up the parish council members.

    • 165
      Tacitus says:

      Nice to see the Klan are still thriving. I suppose the site will soon have links to noose-making courses and weekend sprees on how to build your own burning cross.

      • 228
        socialist degenerate says:

        That’s right, cos those BASTARDS who object to being dismembered on public transport are all waycists! Boo fucking hoo, you pathetic brainwash victim.

    • 167

      He’s going to be trained by the CIA in Indonesia, have a job created for him in the area and then allowed to immigrate no questions asked.

      Then, when he has done for the parsih council declared Midsomer independent, the SAS are going to fly in and help him kill the local police. Then, Cast-Iron Dave will declare that the guy is being repressed by Bergerac, and will declare a no-fly-zone that pretends to protect civilians, but is designed to take Bergerac out and kill a load of civilains into the bargains.

      Meanwhile, a lot of very stupid conservatroid robot people will wet their pants and declare the war-mongering, arms selling, Quisling criminal Dave a hero.

    • 180
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      ..and the spin-off could be Midsomer Mecca. No white people in it at all, and a Jih*d against the local corner shop for selling sausages.

  57. 161
    Steve Miliband says:

    That Greening is holding her own against the socialists

  58. 163
    Tacitus says:

    Before all the right-wing Conmen and women start pointing the finger at Labour, let’s not forget that our glorious PM, Citizen Dave, the people’s toff is banking £4,000 a week whilst thousands serve out their redundancy notices. It’s a hard life for some.

  59. 170
    the last quango in paris says:

    a bit like ickle ole hazel blears who managed to find 13k to wave for the cameras when she needed it.

    Up The Workers x (can someone pass the Bolly)

  60. 171
    Mark Oaten says:

    Lunch time!

  61. 174
    Ed Balls brown enevelope says:

    The £7k is a “thank you” from Fred Goodwin, nudge, nudge, know what I mean.
    Oh by the way Ed Balls is a fat turd.

  62. 178
    NotaSheep says:

    Since 30 December 2002, a customs officer or a constable may seize cash at the borders or inland if he has reasonable grounds for suspecting that the cash is recoverable property or intended for use in unlawful conduct and if the sum seized is in excess of a minimum amount (S294 POCA). This exercise of power is subject to a Code of Conduct. The minimum amount was originally £10,000, but was subsequently reduced to £5,000 on 16 March 2004. On 31 July 2006, the minimum amount was further reduced to £1,000.

    From – purely FYI

    • 196
      jgm2 says:

      A thousand quid in cash is deemed a figure you have to ‘prove’ came from a legal source?


      • 210
        Wobbo says:

        a grand is only a round of drinks

      • 223
        The devils in the detail says:

        “reasonable grounds” are required.

        • 227
          jgm2 says:

          ‘reasonable grounds’ is meaningless.

          • The devils in the detail says:

            What is your experience in these matters jgm 2 ?
            You seem to speak with such certainty about these legal concepts. I can assure you from many years experience that “reasonable grounds” requires solid justification. Are you just making things up to suit your pre conceived prejudices or are your comments based on actual real life experience?

  63. 184
    Gordon Brown, live from his potty in Killkiddies says:

    I ended poo and flush!

  64. 187
    About fookin time! says:

    Right now, Theresa May announcing plan to cut number of foreign students. About time. And she’s wearing a pretty snazzy outfit too, even if it does look like it’s from Star Trek.

  65. 189
    BillyBob.....time for Dave to get a grip at home !! says:

    Balls, balls, Libya, labia….. it is all just getting too much !!

  66. 191
    Shag The Bastards says:


    (1) Lovely Lips – Kate Silverton (with her glasses on!)

    (2) Dorty Whore – Susanna Reid

    (3) Blonde Totty with Legs – Emily !

    Beat that for a line-up !

    • 197
      Max Hastings says:

      Kate does it for me
      She also didnt get a pair of lips like that from sucking oranges

    • 202
      I once had a pair of yellow socks says:

      What about Lucy the weather girl on ITV’s Daybreak. Yum, yum!

    • 240
      Billy Bowden's mate - Whattock Hunt says:

      Emily’s got saggy tits.

    • 248
      BillyBob.....time for Dave to get a grip at home !! says:

      Yeah….kate looks like a porn queen!!

    • 251
      Richard Timney says:

      PHWOAR! I agree that is a great list to make you want to wrestle your taut trouser snake!

  67. 194
    Max Hastings says:

    Ed balls is a man of the highest integrity
    A titan in the field of economics

  68. 198
    Cynic says:

    Does the taxman know?

  69. 199
    I once had a pair of yellow socks says:

    Yvette Cooper has just been spouting her usual drivel in parliament. She is a disgrace.

    • 241
      Billy Bowden's mate - Whattock Hunt says:

      She is fucking gorgeous, and I would felch her all day long.

  70. 204
    Mrs Khan if I want to says:

    Balls makes the village idiot look like a genius.

  71. 205
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed Balls is not human!

  72. 206
    Was it you? says:

    …..who had a dump in the gents at Cardiff Gate Service Station around 11.30am this morning and managed to stink the whole place out, you could smell it in mini Waitrose

  73. 208
    jgm2 says:


    Hague giving it ‘Our crisis is bigger and better and more important than your crisis…

    15:57…Speaking in London, at the Times CEO Africa Summit, he said: “We are only in the early stages of what is happening in North Africa and the Middle East. It is already set to overtake the 2008 financial crisis and 9/11 as the most important development of the early 21st century

  74. 209
    jgm2 says:


    Hague giving it ‘Our crisis is bigger and better and more important than your crisis…

    15:57…Sp**king in London, at the Times CEO Africa Summit, he said: “We are only in the early stages of what is happening in North Africa and the Middle East. It is already set to overtake the 2008 financial crisis and 9/11 as the most important development of the early 21st century

  75. 211
    I once had a pair of yellow socks says:

    I’m minded to think that John Bercow would make an excellent toilet brush.

  76. 215
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Four disgusting words below.

    John Terry England Captain.

    • 230
      I once had a pair of yellow socks says:

      It’s a disgrace, mind you so is the standard of England’s football.

      • 253
        A Fuckwit says:

        If our footballers were half as good at scoring goals as they are scoring with slappers we’d be World Cup winners every 4 years.

  77. 216
  78. 229
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    If he has illegally claimed over £500,000 in expenses, it should be made public. We have a right to know where OUR money is being spent.

    • 238
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      I fear we are in the post graveyard Mrs bag.

      Its been in the news. about 64 grand of it went on BMWs for his wife and daugther.

      • 243
        Cynical-old-bag says:

        I’m out of the country at the moment, so not heard about it.

        Scandalous! I hope the bastard gets nailed to the wall.

        • 244
          jgm2 says:

          Nobody cares because it was Euromoney. Ie it was already wasted. He can’t be prosecuted for wasting it twice.

          That would be my defence.

  79. 246
    Master Baiter says:

    in accordance with money laundering legislation brought in by labour…

    Balls: I’d like to deposit £7000

    Cashier: Stole it did you sir?

    Balls: No

    Cashier: proceeds of stolen goods sir?

    Balls: No

    Cashier: drugs sales?

    Balls: No ….. do I look like a criminal?

  80. 252
    the last quango in paris says:

    bless him maybe he was donating to comic relief?

  81. 254
    That's News says:

    Amazing what you find down the back of the sofa… seven grand is small change for Balls.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Via @courtnewsuk, asked in court about Rebekah Brooks’ letter referring to waiting for 6 years, Andy Coulson says he had a “different interpretation” of their relationship.

Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?

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