March 21st, 2011

Time Called on Andrew Pierce

This week’s guest publication is Hampstead’s local paper the Ham and High. Last week it had an intriguing story about the famously convenient for the heath gay pub the King William IV branching out and encouraging a more mixed crowd:

As a local celebrity resident and patron, the Mail’s Andrew Pierce got a quote in the story:

‘Mr Pierce, 50, said: “I don’t know if it’s true that its gay identity is being diluted because I haven’t been in for months, but if it is I’d be very surprised and disappointed.'”

Haven’t been in for months, eh, Andy? And why is that?

Could it be the fact that he is, to quote the landlady of the pub, “banned for life”. She slapped on the ban a few months ago after a series of unpleasant drunken incidents, including “inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour towards other men”, “foul language” and drunken rants at an ex-boyfriend. The landlady, Elaine Loughran, tells Guido that “all of the staff know not to serve him…”


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    what a twat, Maybe deaerves Twatwatch tag?

  2. 2
    Lazy hacks should fear Guido says:


  3. 3
    P. Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    I’ve never been banned

  4. 4
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Bitches….I’ll slap ya wivme ‘andbag!

  5. 5
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Pierce is a very unpleasant drunk.

  6. 6
    Chris Myles says:

    I like going up the old King Willy

  7. 7
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And he still gets on tv? Well they did keep trying to interview Gordon before the election.

    What is it about this egos in the media that think they can behave like this in private and then preach something else in public?

  8. 8
    Polly Toenails says:

    I don’t know what you mean.

    Now open some champagne..champagne for everybody!

  9. 9
    NuAttack Dog says:

    This wins “The most pointless Guido thread of the year 2011″

    really what with everything going on in the world right now who gives a flying about this?

  10. 10

    It is only March, there will be more. This is tittle-tattle, it is why we’re number one. Suggest you fuck off back to Comment is Free.

  11. 11
    Beard Watch says:

  12. 12
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    OMG , how fuckin sad is she?

  13. 13
    Dolly the Creep says:

    I’ll have some Bolly with you, Polly !

  14. 14
    Engineer says:

    It falls neatly into the category of “Tittle-tattle, gossip and rumour”, and Pierce does report on Westminster (when he isn’t borrowing other people’s stories).

  15. 15
    A Bummer says:

    He’s also a fuckwit sober

  16. 16
    Joss Ayinglike says:


    1. A life
    2. Over yourself
    3. Lost

  17. 17
    Sally Bercow says:

    Did Gordon and the kids remember to buy you a card?

  18. 18
    Mandy says:

    Will Mr Mckay, Mr H Deedes and Petsy be publishing this one ???

  19. 19
    A Bummer says:

    Because it’s an illness where their mind is fucked

  20. 20
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ” She slapped on the ban a few months ago after a series of unpleasant drunken incidents, including “inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour towards other men”, “foul language” and drunken ”

    Round our way we get banned if we dont behave like this.

  21. 21
    A Greed says:


  22. 22
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Stupid woman.

  23. 23
    Ben Bradshaw says:

    What do you mean by trouble?

  24. 24
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    There’s always two sides to every story.

  25. 25
    Dick the Prick says:

    Schoolboy error – never get barred from your local, that’s what town centre boozers are for.

  26. 26
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Well said, Guido.

  27. 27
    Eeu to me says:

    How the times have changed it, used to be the he-men that got kicked out of pubs for brawling, now it’s the she-men, time for the goverment to think how can it tax brawling in the bars.

  28. 28
    Engineer says:

    “The King William IV is keen to attract customers regardless of their sexuality”.

    One of the problems of becoming well-known as a niche venue is that other non-niche patrons tend to automatically go elsewhere, not out of prejudice, but just because they don’t think they’ll feel at home with the other patrons. If you happen to hate Heavy Metal, and a particular publican is known to encourage such bands to perform, you go elsewhere.

  29. 29
    toilets says:

    Little wonder he was cribbing your stuff Fawkes, he spends all his time down the ‘Gay Hussars’ getting bummed.

  30. 30
    Sarah Brown's Twit of the year award. says:

    Two years now and my head is still lodged up my arse.
    Will my gay husband go back to parliament and respresent his constituents?

  31. 31
    kiwi capers says:

    And just where is that Billy?

  32. 32
    sockpuppet #4 says:


  33. 33
    Sir William Waad says:

    At the Waad Arms we keep a fierce Alsatian bitch to deter abusive drunkards. Sylvaine was brought up in Stasbourg, the French capital of beer, where her father kept a pub and is a gentle enough lady normally.

  34. 34
    NuAttack Dog says:

    CIF – how dare you. There’s bandits over there.

  35. 35
    The Late Frankie Howerd says:

    A niche venue? Oo-er mister! My kind of niche exactly – no, tiiter ye not!

  36. 36
    Mornington Crescent says:

    In that vein, they might find it useful to change their website:

    “The Willie turned discreetly gay in the late 1930s, specifically to cater for men visiting the Heath, the publican in those days being a woman known as Mumsy. In the post-war years, the Willie was a hang-out for leather men, but today the crowd is more mixed, young and old, with a sprinkling of gay celebs.”

  37. 37
    Sir William Waad says:


  38. 38
    Real Ale says:

    Might try the Kings Arms around the Queens Arse tonight.

  39. 39
    Fa Kin Su Pah says:


  40. 40
    Hark at Her says:

    I wonder if he will be plagiarizing this article for his next collumn Guido?

  41. 41
    Smig says:

    Arris Bandits?

  42. 42
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    “What? Someone forgot? Who’s fault was that? Sue I think..Its just ridiculous”

  43. 43
    Homosexual Muslim says:

    I am going to explode in a minute.

  44. 44

    Sorry Polly, there’s no champagne left. We’ve drank it all.

  45. 45
    Smig says:

    I suspect he gets his column inches from other sources.

  46. 46
    Real Ale says:

    The barmaid at my local is a Lurcher, she comes lamping on the heath after last orders, I believe they call it dogging!.

  47. 47
    Engineer says:

    Fur coat and no knickers?

  48. 48
    Sky News First for Breaking Wind says:


  49. 49
    Ulster says:


  50. 50
    What's good for the goose.... says:

    Surely this establishment have no choice but to cease what appears to be a discriminatory policy against hetro sexuals. Is Pierce encouraging this illegal policy to remain in place by his comments. The very description of a public house as being a “Gay Pub” is now illegal is it not?

  51. 51
    Undercover wife says:

    Sarah, stick you propaganda up yer arse !

  52. 52
    simon r says:

    For F*** SAKE woman – how old are you ? 12 ?

  53. 53
    Sarah's Brown says:

    Anyway, dahlings, back to my second TWATter b-Day, mwah! mwah! Big GAY GORDIE’S expecting a good arsing tonight, but as I told him this morn…”It’s NO YOUR birthday, Gordie, if you’re wantin a pumping whae no paint yersel’ blue and go sprintin’ past ParkHEID wiv nae knickers oan.”

    He grumped off to find some paint, I believe.

    Mwahs! and more mwahs! to my TWATeratti!!!

  54. 54
    al-Jazeera says:

    أ. نفخة, ضرطة

  55. 55
    Heritage Joke says:

    Is it true that the bar stools at the King William IV are all turned upside-down?

  56. 56
    P. Doff says:

    Probably Wagga Wagga – by the sound of it, it’s where he spends a lot of time “waving a hankie”.

  57. 57
    Aunt Hilda says:

    absolutely …only one serious thread about the middle east where international interest is focused currently

  58. 58
    ولكن القاتل الصامت says:

    Reporters are requested not to break wind whilst broadcasting

  59. 59
    Jeff Decade says:

    Journo is drunken tosser. In other news, Pope is Catholic!

  60. 60
    the old Dufflebag says:

    bigotted bitch

  61. 61
    P. Doff says:

    How I(r)onic!

  62. 62
    Father Ralph de Bricassart, says:

    Down came a jumbuck to drink at his water hole !!!!!!!!!

  63. 63
    Desperate Dan says:

    What a pity Woolworths has closed down. Baroness Ashton would be just perfect as an assistant on the broken biscuit counter.

  64. 64
    the money shot says:

    drunks are drunks

    some can handle drink some cant

    he needs help

  65. 65
    It's my 2nd year on the dole thanks to your old man...does that count ?? says:

    Unfortunately most of the twatters who twitter probably are unlike sad old gits on here who spend all their time posting complete bollocks for other sad old gits between episodes of “The Doctors” and “Flog It !” and signing on at the Job Centre

  66. 66
    The Penguin says:

    That bigotted woman – just ridiculous – save the world – started in America – no more boom and bust…NURSE!!!!! My Tablets!!

    The Penguin

  67. 67
    Lazy hacks should fear Guido says:

    Wise words Dick, wise words indeed.

  68. 68
    An Old Estonian Twitters in Reply says:

    Mida iganes sa teed ei saada tema üle siin … meil piisavalt idioodid juba

  69. 69
    ???? says:

    Pick n’ Mix ??

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Come orf it Aunty Hilda,how can it be “serious” if it aint knocking Isr**l & slagging of the j**s ?

  71. 71
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    Even more than you may think. I had no idea who the arse bandit was until this story, so I googled him and discover that he is a co-author of a book called “Great parliamentary scandals: four centuries of calumny, smear and innuendo”. “Pink News” named him “the sixth most powerful gay man in British politics, describing him as “a ball of giggles, gossip, scandal and kinetic energy – Pierce is an interesting mix of rebel and establishment figure”.

    According to another ‘Pink List’, “Andrew Pierce is feared and revered in equal measure; he is a tenacious political hack with a talent for breaking stories about the great and good.”

    The queers do love themselves, don’t they?

  72. 72
    Cassandrina says:

    Sprinkling of gay celebs!
    Nice turn of phrase except it denotes stardust and are’nt most celebs gay now?

  73. 73
    Rat's arse says:

    In a bakery, crimping pies with her god awful teeth surely?

  74. 74
    Cassandrina says:

    She is just too ugly even for broken biscuits or dog food

  75. 75
    Desperate Dan says:

    To be fair to Sarah, she hasn’t started telling how she much lusts after 5 times a night Gordon or what method of contraception she uses.

  76. 76
    the old Dufflebag says:

    ‘brace yourself bennie’ type of trouble

  77. 77
    squeak for england says:

    gordon is his own contraception

  78. 78
    Gordon Brown says:

    Monday night is my bath night (6 o’clock) then I can have alphabety spaghetti, and some fizzy.

  79. 79
    QWERTY says:

    Ex Boyfriend? Would that be toilets MaGuire by chance?

  80. 80
    Anna Tolia says:

    The trouble with Alsatian bitches is you have to learn French.

  81. 81
    Simon says:

    I wonder if he will steal this story?

  82. 82
    Peter Mandelbum says:

    It’s a very gay pub. They make you go in the back entrance.

  83. 83
    annon. says:


  84. 84
    Dan Dan etc says:

    Bog Attendant

  85. 85
    gildedtumbril says:

    +2. Does it not make one feel like screaming down the place for rampant homophobia?. Or even screaming the place down (depending on whether there are any split infinitives lying about).
    As for Libya, well. To hell with Libya.

  86. 86
    Wee Willie Hague says:

    One up the bum, some harm done

  87. 87















  88. 88
    Lecon Un says:

    Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

  89. 89



    KAN IT B











  90. 90
    jrand says:

    Most of his ‘scoops’ are either plaigerised or pinched, he’s cr*p.

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