March 11th, 2011

Balls Brings Back Mrs McBride

Mrs McBride, Balshan IzzetWhen Damian McBride had to hide out from the cameras during Smeargate, he holed up with long-suffering girlfriend and former Treasury civil servant Balshan Izzet. When Balls had to deny the disgraced spinner was advising him about his leadership bid last summer, it turns out it was “Mrs McBride” that was on the campaign trail. And now Balls is beefing up his Shadow Treasury team and has bought her back into the fold as an advisor.  The talk in Labour circles is that the pair are still smearing the sheets together…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Knew , scum atracts scum!

    • 2
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Knew it.

      • 13
        Polly, resting in Tuscany says:

        You want a final solution for Labour.

        • 65
          Knew it , scum attracts scum! says:

          • you call this a gloat? says:

            now the general election is so close Gui­do is sweating like a ra­pist and the reader should expect no impariality from this place from here-on-in.
            Fa­wkes is a tory fifth columnist.
            end of story.
            still going to be a Labour win Guido and when that happens I will return to gloat.
            you lose, I win.

          • jgm2 says:

            I agree with George Osborne who said…

            “The near-collapse of the British banking system more than two years ago still generates today deep feelings of anger and cries for retribution. I understand that, for the link between risk and reward that underpins our free market was completely broken.”

            “Bankers who had made the most catastrophic mistakes walked away with huge payouts and pensions.”


    • 25
      more than ballsup says:

      shes as big a moose as yvette so obviously the truth..

    • 42
      Larry The Fat-Cat Banker says:

      My dear Guido – whilst we all enjoy your anti-McBride bamter, surely this is old news? Wasn’t she ‘outed’ in the House back in 2009 on this issue and more to the point, hasn’t she been working for Balls for around 4 years now? Hardly a ‘scoop’ old man…

    • 163
      Lt. Gen. Bertie Farquarson says:

      I think Guido is Billy

  2. 3
    Ed Balls says:

    So what?

  3. 4
    Gordon Brown is a cunt says:


    You mean that fat sack of c unting shit McBride actually has a girlfriend?

    Oh hold on, I just saw her pic. Makes sense.

  4. 5
    Anonymous says:

    Who is shagging her?

  5. 6
    ArgentSilver says:

    Repulsive on all fronts…

  6. 7
    Sue Marsh says:

    Are you implying Ed Balls is shagging her now?
    It reads like that.
    Might want to reword it if not or libel wings a-fluttering….

    • 8
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      No , Just implying that damian is still working from the shadows.

    • 18
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      Brings a whole new meaning to “naughty night-stains”…”sweaty Balls-stains” anyone?…..Arrrggghhh Mind Bleach quickly

    • 43

      I thin the pun is ‘Smearing for the broadsheets.’

      Only an unpopular one eyed psychotic doom-curse mental head would let Balls anywhere near him.

      Ed Miliband, obviously would also.

      • 93
        Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

        Little Ed goes where he’s told.

        “Oi, Ed, don’t spill me coffie in the saucer, there’s a good lad”.

  7. 9

    Yes – it does, doesn’t it.

  8. 10

    Balls must be pretty desperate if this woman is the only person who fits the job – or wants to work for him.

  9. 11
    Balshan Izzet says:

    Listen, yeah? I’m da bad bitch round here, yeah? Do as I say, yeah? I don’t take no shit from no one, yeah? Or I’ll get Damien to smear you, yeah? And I’ll get Chris Bryant to smear something else, yeah? I’m da rude beeatch, yeah? Don’t fuck wid me, yeah? I’m from da streets, yeah? I got mans and dem, yeah? I box you, yeah?

  10. 16
    capt apollo says:

    well the blue touch paper has been lit no stand back and wait for the explosion when this pair takes things 5 steps too far and get caught out, followed by balls’s resignation and divorce as Ms cooper doesn’t want the proverbial shit to land on her and her dreams of being the first female liebour PM.
    Fun awaits

  11. 17

    So that make Balshan Izzet the Shadow McBride for the Shadow Chancellor then?

  12. 24
    8 Minute Eddie says:

    I do not and have never known Mr Mcbride.

  13. 27
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Balls is desparate. The reek of failure is in the air. Comrade Balls is destined to one of those politicians who says much but achieves nothing beyond antagonising anybody with more than half a brain.
    The sooner he is consigned to the dustbin of history along with his mentor Mr Broon the better.

    • 34
      gildedtumbril says:

      Sir Barrington, I concur. But I believe a cesspit is a more suitable receptacle.

      • 40
        Anonymous says:

        Don’t be too hasty – Ed Balls is one of the few assets the Conservatives have.

        • 67
          Sue Marsh says:

          As a leftie, this has all been quite amusing, but implying Balls is not threat is a bit silly.
          Only one who make you shiver – you know it’s true.

          • The man's a freak (and incredibly dim) says:

            Shiver in a creepy kinda way.`

          • smoggie says:

            One needs charisma to be any kind of threat. Balls will make leader simply by default but I don’t ever see him as PM. He’s a second rate Brown ffs

    • 37
      liam byrne's smile says:

      What about Yvette, she of so many words without saying anything.

    • 81
      The reek of failure is in the air. says:

      • 169
        Clegg apologist's controller division - (requires 24/7 supervision) says:

        Good job.

        Now post the Brown video.

        [Must remember not to post this to my entire e-mail list]

        Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine !!

      • 220
        Archie says:

        That man does NOT look as though he’s having a good time lately!

  14. 28
    more than ballsup says:

    with any luck this ugly could orchestrate a threesome suicide pact using an electric stun gun and a carton of laxatives

  15. 31
    gildedtumbril says:

    I eagerly await the DVD of these shenanigans. Just as I eagerly awaited the DVD of monkeyface major and the Curry woman. So far I have been disappointed. It would appear that the security services, who usually hold such illuminating material, are hanging on to it. Perhaps there will be a Christmas compilation.
    What a bunch of slithery, slimey bastards.

  16. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    How long before smeargate part 2? i give it 4 weeks.

  17. 33
    Nothing worse than a spotty teenage socialist says:

    The c unt describes himself on his Twitter as a “Leeds student, future Labour MP, Malcolm Tucker or Jeremy Paxman. Ex-chair of Stroud District Youth Council and Stroud Young Labour”.

    Anyone who wants to intern with Kerry McCarthy needs their head tested. She’s an odious partisan robot who does as she’d commanded and got a police caution. Great role model, dickhead!

  18. 36
    liam byrne's smile says:

    Red Ed does not stand a chance. Balls for labour leader before the autumn. I’ll bet Gordon Brown’s life on it – any takers?

  19. 39
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    May i ask if there was a winner to last weeks caption conest (The one with clegg with a blue hand) and if i may ask if there will be a prize for todays one?

    I would appricate it if you could take 30 secs to respond to these questions :-)

    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever !

    • 44

      Lifetime’s free entry into a caption competition?

    • 48
      BillyBob.....time for Dave to get things right at home !! says:

      Billy, you deserve it ‘cos you are fastest off the mark !!

      • 50
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Nope has to be on merit :-)

        • 54
          Baroness Warsi's Burqa says:

          Not necessarily. People can get all sorts of undeserved rewards in life. Meritocracy? Rubbish!

          • nell says:

            Well baronessuddin would understand that principle well enough wouldn’t she?

            I wonder is she’s repaid any of that first £90k she troughed claiming her brother’s house, which she hardly visited, was her first home , or any of that £100k she troughed claiming that that empty maidstone flat in which she had never lived was her first home?

            Why wasn’t she prosecuted?!

    • 52
      streamfisher says:

      I recently purchased a cat mate cat-flap online and got a free gift with it, its a bag of back-2-nature small animal bedding, I could despatch this to you free in lieu of a Guido prize, postage only £15.

      • 55
        Tessa Tickles says:

        I can chip in an empty wine bottle (and in about 3 hours’ time, another two empty wine bottles). P&P about £15, too.

  20. 53
    Moley says:

    Mc Bride is an essential part of the Opposition machine.

    In the early stages, Labour will rely on spin, smear, propaganda, criticism, scandal and undermining of the Coalition in order to reduce the electorate’s confidence in the Government.

    There will be no policy announcements from Labour because they; a) Haven’t got a clue, b) Can’t agree among themselves; and c) Think that not declaring any policy will avoid the possibility of them being proved wrong.

    If the Opposition won’t publicise its policies, it is up to the Coalition to do it for them. We can infer from what has been said so far that the Opposition Policy is “No cuts”, and increased borrowing.

    Given that this year’s debt interest was 47% more than last year’s, one can assume that even Ball’s knows that he is continuing to peddle lies to the Labour electorate because he and Labour hold their supporters in contempt, and believe that a lie repeated often enough will become a truth.

  21. 57
    Ed Miliband says:

    The Japan flooding was down to climate change.

  22. 62
    nell says:

    But I thought militwit said, when he took over as opposition leader, that he was heading a New generation!

    Now we find that not only do we still have gordon’s old guard ministers, balls is now also bringing back gordon’s old guard spinners and backstabbers.

  23. 66
    BBC News says:

    We’re getting reports that the tsunami was caused by Lord Ashcroft. Over to our new political correspondent Alistair Campbell for the latest.

  24. 68
    Calamity Clegg says:

  25. 71
    Sludge Pump says:

    The picture in one’s mind of the copulation of Balls and that nice young lady is the thing of nightmares and horror movies!!

  26. 74
    Doc Trough says:

    They all smell of armpits and yesterday’s semen.

  27. 76

    Balshan Izzet. Sounds a bit Turkish to me. Oh well, part of the EU, I suppose. What?

  28. 77
    Who's been a naughty/thick boy then? says:

    He doesn’t sound too bright if he posted videos and tour dates online for the world to see.

    The former singer of the heavy metal band Iron Maiden has been jailed for nine months for fraudulently claiming benefits. Paul Andrews, of Salisbury, fronted the band between 1978 and 1981, under the stage name Paul Di’Anno.

    Andrews, 52, was jailed at the city’s crown court after earlier admitting falsely claiming more than £45,000.

    Fraud investigators had viewed online videos and read about gigs on the performer’s website. The site still lists dates for a May tour of Portugal, Spain and the Netherlands.

    • 202
      Sally Bercow says:

      Shudda been a woman and he wuld not haVE had 2 pai id bak unlike the Babesataion GURL

  29. 78
    Gordon Brown is Lord Gaga says:

  30. 79
    Calamity Clegg says:

    • 86
      Yes, it's the Youtube mong again, back to bring down the coalition by posting hundreds of videos! says:


    • 98
      smoggie says:

      Leave Clegg alone or I’ll have a tantrum and shit myself!!

      • 108
        Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man says:

        Rawnsley says you’re full of shit, son. FAIL

        • 121
          smoggie says:

          Oh dear I’ve shit myself again!!
          Mummy!! Mummy!! They are taking the piss out of Nick and I love him!!!

    • 184
      Wavy Davy apologist's controller division - (requires 24/7 supervision) says:

      I stick my tongue up Dave’s ringpiece so hard his shit is constantly dripping down my chin.

  31. 82
    Bye Bye Clegg says:

    YouGov’s latest poll, prompted with explanations of what the AV and FPTP systems are, has a 17 point lead for the NO campaign.

  32. 84
    Mrs Faye Merritt says:

    What a load of incomprehensible nonsense. I was expecting the lowdown on Goodwins so-called super-injunction. Am very disappointed.

  33. 87
    Mrs G says:

    Listening to Squealer on Any Questions, is there anything that can be dug up on him so he will have to just piss off? Complete twat.

  34. 91

    There’s me thinking McBride was the normal ZaNuLabor shirtlifter, mind you Balshan not some Turkish tranny’s name is it?
    As for smearing the sheets together, one has to wonder who’s rectum it is coming from?
    I wonder if Mrs. Balls* has noticed the increased laundry expense claims?

    * I will not call that she-boy Cooper, it’s an insult to Frank and his Oxford Marmalade.

  35. 94
    Gazza says:

    Wai ai, man! Did yowze say summat abooot a toon army?

  36. 96
    tory boys never grow up says:

    So low – why are you now trying to play the same guilt by association game that McBride and Draper did??

    • 97
      If Labour were still in power and Labour's Jo Moore was still working for Labour today says:

      “I think given the events in Japan, it’s a good day to bury bad news”.

      • 99
        Dave's Beeboid Spindoctor says:

        Like Dave being 11 points behind in the polls ?

        • 104
          If Labour were still in power and Labour's Damien McBride was still working for Labour today says:

          “I’m writing up some stories to send to Derek for his blog”.

    • 190
      Wavy Davy apologist's controller division - (requires 24/7 supervision) says:

      I stick my tongue so hard up Dave’s arsehole he farts in my mouth.

    • 205

      Don’t forget to mention/emphasis it’s a TORY led coalition.

  37. 100
    Minekiller says:

    Balshan Izzet……is it a British person?

  38. 103
    ConDems bringing the country to its knees again says:

    • 105
      Yes, it's the Youtube mong again, back to bring down the coalition by posting hundreds of videos! says:

      Oh dear, the Youtube mong has taken to posting the same video for the millionth time. Time to up his meds again.

      • 107
        smoggie says:

        I’m wanking furiously over Hague’s shiny blad head.

        • 110
          Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man says:


  39. 109
    Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man says:

    Rawnsley says you’re full of shit, son. Never happened.

  40. 112
    Come back, Gordo! Come back! I luv you wid my liddle winkie dinkie! says:

    Oh no! He’s having another tantrum!


    • 134
      Very sad says:

      Any second you’ll start typing in caps again.

    • 135
      Top Boy Returns says:

      Work in progress mate. Meanwhile I just post on here everyday using other peeps monikers. that’s sophisticated politicisation innit

  41. 114
    IQ of a voter says:

    Have a little moan and then get back to to paying taxes.
    It’s the British way.
    Or is it?

    • 127
      White Van Man says:

      I don’t know I don’t live there. I’m one of those sad fuckers who spends all day here posting about a country I don’t even live in.

      I’m pitiful.

    • 187
      Spot the fuckwit says:

      The men on the video whom we are supposed to feel sorry for , look like monkeys. That tells me all I want to know. Fucking knuckle draggers.

  42. 117

    Let’s face it. There was a certain class of people who named their sons Damian a few decades ago, weren’t they? Some of these sons may be perfectly nice chaps – can’t help that their parents were mongrels.

    And some of them are not …

  43. 119
    smoggie says:

    I like it when William Hague shits in my mouth.

    • 123
      Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man has never recovered from Rawnsley exposing Brown says:

      I love it when I have to clean up my parents’ feces as they both have alzheimers and I’ven never left home. I’m unemployed and lonely and post the same youtube videos all day and night.

  44. 120
    Another famous Damien says:

  45. 122
  46. 125
    £2 Million of UK taxpayers money to protect Calamity Clegg from protests says:

    • 131
      Top Boy Returns says:

      Here’s a corker…

      I am just about to get banned by the arch tory G­uido Faw­kes.
      F­awkes never gave a damn about the expenses scandal, he only used it as cover to act as a propagandist for the tories.
      now the general election is so close Gui­do is sweating like a ra­pist and the reader should expect no impariality from this place from here-on-in.
      Fa­wkes is a tory fifth columnist.
      end of story.
      still going to be a Labour win Guido and when that happens I will return to gloat.
      you lose, I win.

      • 147
        Top Boy Returns says:

        We know why. And we knows why you daren’t use your own moniker. Embarressed I should coco

      • 191
        Alfred North Whitehead says:

        Hilarious – keep it up, sad little person. After all – we need a laugh…

  47. 137
  48. 139
    You've got to be fucking kidding me says:

    You are actually clinically ill. You’ve been posting the exact same drivel since 2009 for fuck’s sake. You should be put to sleep for your own good.

    DZ says:
    December 1, 2009 at 6:44 pm
    The real tat is watching Gideon and the Bullingdon boys wanking through his letterbox on to all the junk mail piled up against the back of the door.

  49. 141
    nell says:

    balls, damian and balshanizzat dominating militwit.

    Says everything there is to say about labour doesn’t it?!!

  50. 143
    misterned says:

    9/11 was an inside job!

  51. 144
    Ha ha! says:

    TOP BOY IS CUCKOO! says:
    September 27, 2010 at 3:28 am

  52. 148
    misterned says:

  53. 153
    jgm2 says:

    “Nick Clegg has said he wanted to “wring the necks” of bankers who threw Britain’s economy into turmoil and forced the coalition to bring in austerity measures.”

  54. 155
    Alan akbar says:

    Balshan looks like a muzee

  55. 156
    Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man says:

    Rawnsley, Rawnsley, Rawnsley, Rawnsley, Rawnsley, Rawnsley, Rawnsley, Rawnsley, Rawnsley, Rawnsley!

  56. 158

    Smearing sheets is what we do best !
    and as we share a room it’s VFM for the tax payer !

  57. 160

    So she is emptying Balls ball’s ?

  58. 167
    7 up says:

    Caqn’t see why the Super Moon theory is being poo pooed. If the moon can move the oceans around the world why can’t it move the Earh’s crust? One only has to look at the Severn Estuary to see what the moon can do. Certainly makes more sense than man made global warming.

    • 172
      Laban says:

      Nonsense. Unscientific rubbish about the supermoon.

      Everyone knows the earthquake was a consequence of turning on the Large Hadron Collider a year ago today. Since then it’s been nothing but blood, fire and vapour of smoke, car insurance is up 33%, the Lib Dems are in the cabinet, and the small but perfectly formed black hole at the heart of the LHC, created on switch-on day, is causing earthquakes and volcanic activity from Iceland to China, as it circles in its journey round the collider, occasionally swallowing a technician here, a neutrino there.

      • 174
        Anonymous says:

        Anyone who has ever seen the difference between low water and high water during spring tides would never deny the massive affect that the moon has.

  59. 173
    Only a matter of time. says:

    The BBC must be champing at the bit to blame the Japanese Quake on man made global warming. And they Will.

    • 177

      Nonsense. Unscientific drivel!
      The earth has warmed up due to man made CO2 emissions.
      Now the earth is sick. And when its sick, it shivers. And those Gaia shudders cause earthquakes.

      We’re killing the planet and only hemp shirts and straw huts will save us!

      {As long as we’ve still got Facebook though. Otherwise how could we let people know how Green we are? Facebook doesn’t use any power does it? And computers? They aren’t very energy inefficient or use rare earth metals or anything do they?}

    • 179
      jgm2 says:

      Mr Cameron said: “If you want to understand climate change, go and see Al Gore’s film, An Inconvenient Truth.”

    • 194
      King Kong says:

      I blame Godzilla.

    • 217
      Gearóid Mac Ádhaimh says:

      You obviously mean Obama as Gerry Adams has not won the Nobel Prize (Yet)

  60. 176
    Anonymous says:

    dirty little w-o-g.

  61. 180
  62. 193
    Brian Cowen (Biffo to those who know...) says:

    Jaysus! If that fat ugly ignorant fecker McBride with his red blood pressure face can pull – there’s hope for us all! So there is…

  63. 200
    ???? says:

    O/T Looks like “Dave’s” no-fly zone is grounded until further notice due to the crew refusing to get on board the plane

    • 203
      Eeu to me says:

      Maybe it’ll help rusty get his head out of thr EU’s arse and realise that project they call the EU only exists in uncivil servants wet dreams and to get any business you don’t project power yourself, you do what Germany, France, China does you, wait to see the USA and it’s minions get embroiled and when the hate is transfered to them you go to the winning side and sell them the assets they require, making sure your inbuilt profits has plenty of room for “squeeze” after all that’s what wars are all about, making money.

      • 208
        MRS MILLIBAND says:

        Spineless bastards will do nothing
        on the say so of some unelected swampdog friend of Blair!

        in the future when Gadaffi brings down another airliner
        they will sit there saying “Lessons have been learned and we will do more in the future !

        • 216
          Lessons Learnt #32 says:

          I think the only lesson that has been learnt is that if you rebel against a tyrannical ruler don’t expect the “West” to do much if said tyrannical ruler starts bombing the shit out of you

  64. 206

    Engineer ! Breaking news large explosion heard at Japanese nuclear power plant plumes of white smoke rising into the air ! fears of a meltdown
    Hey but


    • 207
      MRS MILLIBAND says:



      why build a beast you cannot control

      • 210
        Eeu to me says:

        Maybe they could ask Sky or the BBC they seem to have “experts” that could sort this problem out before lunch.

      • 211
        MRS MILLIBAND says:

        pictures from Japanese tv show that the containment structure encasing the reactor has been blown away
        increasing fears of a meltdown

        Dont Panic !

        population for a six mile radius have been evacuated !

        • 212
          Eeu to me says:

          Don’t worry,they’ve alerted Superman and when he’s sorted out Libya he’ll pop over to Japan and sort that out.

          • MRS MILLIBAND says:

            Pictures from Jap tv show the explosion
            it looks a big un

            better inform Readymix that they will be going on overtime for the next few months !

          • Eeu to me says:

            It’s mother natures way of saying I’m in charge and you your ways of trying controlling me is a farce, mother nature wins every time, no doubt the C02 and the Global warming crowd will be creaming their collective nickers as they dream of what they can do with the untold goverment funds that will be poured over them to pretend to work out to control tsunami’s and earthquakes.

  65. 214
    Lance-Corporal Jones says:

    I have a bad feeling about this…

  66. 218
    Mike Allen says:

    Internal squabble in Labour party sees the pal of a senior member and a sexist journalist not gettin get the job that they wanted for her so the talentless sexist journalist has a whinge in the Irish “Guardian.

Seen Elsewhere

Ed’s Constitutional Failure | ConHome
UKIP Poster Girl’s Naked Photos | Sun
Miliband’s Radical Old Labour Agenda | Fraser Nelson
Meet Team Miliband | Dan Hodges
Run Boris Run | Times
Tories Pledge to End Onshore Windfarm Subsidy | Telegraph
Labour’s Plan to Attack Part-Time Boris | Standard
Ex-Sun Hack Cleared After 582 Days on Bail | MediaGuido
11 Times Boris Denied He Would Stand for Parliament | Buzzfeed
Attacking UKIP’s Posters is Counter-Productive | Guardian
Sarkozy Tried it on With Hollande’s Ex | Times

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads