March 9th, 2011

Cameron’s Contraband Plan

Former smoker David Cameron and current smokers Nick Clegg, Simon Burns, Steve Hilton etc are outlawing tobacco advertising. Do as they say, not as they do. Leaving aside the obvious risk that cutting off thousands of small shops at the knees poses, just as with prohibition and drugs, the evidence suggests that forcing vices underground increases the attraction. An “enemy of enterprise” and a purveyor of forbidden fruits in one easy piece of legislation.


158 Comments

  1. 1
    Southern Softy says:

    What a fag!

    Like

    • 3
      The people says:

      As with most silly ideas, it originated from the EU.

      What are France, Spain, Greece, etc doing about this? That’s rght – f*ck all.

      Like

      • 28
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        I believe France stopped advertising tobacco well before the UK (certainly did for some types.)

        Mainly because of the assertion that advertising doesn’t make people smoke more, it makes them change brands. Which at the time meant “stick with french brands”.

        Like

        • 144
          Progressive says:

          Argument is that blank packets will not encourage yoof to take up smoking. Apparently they like the pink and multi coloured flashy packets and this encourages them to smoke.

          True or false? Maybe Gadaffi Jnr. produced some thesis about this at the Libya School of Economics in London?

          Like

          • Socialism has murdered 150 million human beings pride says:

            Time for the tobacco companies to tell Cameron to fuck off.

            They need to tell the country that “law” has now passed into tyranny and they will not obey. They have profits enough to start a campaign calling on the 13 million smokers to put their votes behind any party that will stop the nannying . UKIP seems a good choice since the main three are shite. Brazen defiance will put the state on the defensive. They will have to close the tobacco industry down by force in Pol Pot-style and even if they succeed they will 1-look like the scum they are and 2-lose billions in tobacco tax that they take while spitting in smokers faces. Plus, if enough smokers get pissed off they might just hit the streets Egypt-like.
            Bad news for Cameron, Lawnsley, Clegg AND for the Labour twats as well.

            Like

    • 9
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      I like choirboys, Barbara Streisand, wanking off to photos of Des O’connor, mincing down Old Compton St. in a thong and getting rogered by mutiple male partners. Does this mean I’m gay?

      Like

      • 27
        Scurfy says:

        No, it means you are (a) Tony Blair and (b) trolling the sainted Billy.

        Like

      • 39
        Twatspotter says:

        Your comment means that you are a cerebrally-challenged name thief and all-round wazzock. May the fleas of a thousand rats infest your arsehole, and may your arms be too short to scratch.

        Like

      • 115
        AC1 says:

        Dear Tat,
        Just wondering where your promised blog is?

        Give my love to your therapist.

        Like

    • 142
      Ampers says:

      It’s a servant to a senior boy at public school.

      And how can you identify these moves as the same as prohibition? Are you saying that, in America, shops could sell booze in a plain label, as long as the bottles weren’t visible over the counter?

      Of course you are, and of course this isn’t the case.

      I think you are beginning to do a Hague with us – losing interest?

      BTW Anyone remember the Haig whisky add from the fifties? “Don’t be Vague, ask for Haig”|?

      Like

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    What happened to the free market?

    Bad one Dave you knob!

    Like

  3. 4
    Spot on says:

    Pipe smokers live longer than non-smokers!
    (Thereby also proving that there is no danger from passive smoking.)

    Like

  4. 5
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    and besides , what about revenue that the goverment gets from the obsence tax on Fags? Surely in thease times we need \all the income as possible(Without raising anymore taxes) , if the tax revenue falls what then?

    Like

    • 19
      DisgustedOfTunbridgeWells says:

      The Government will find something else to make up for any lost revenue, how about tax avoidance?, what a hope.

      Like

  5. 6
    The people says:

    “In 2003, it was reported that sales of cigarette cases had surged, attributable to the introduction of more prominent warning labels on cigarette packs by an EU directive in January 2003. Alternatively, people choose to hide the warnings using various funny stickers, such as “You could be hit by a bus tomorrow.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tobacco_packaging_warning_messages#European_Union

    Like

  6. 8
    Yawn says:

    Hey Dweebo, all those stupid advertising videos are really slowing down the site.

    Like

    • 109
      Anonymous says:

      then pay to use the site and they can get rid of the ads….

      Like

      • 129
        Anonymous says:

        There’s advertising and ADVERTISING, get real. 10+ vids and animations running will loose him readers.

        Like

    • 128
      oddly helpful says:

      Get an ad blocker for your browser. Or try disabling Flash animation in your Preferences window. A full refund is available on the usual terms.

      Like

  7. 10
    NannyState says:

    Psssst want some shag?

    Like

  8. 11

    Tough on Smoking, Tough On the Causes of Smoking?

    Like

  9. 12
    Anonymous says:

    “Do as they say, not as they do.”

    They are advertising tobacco?

    Like

  10. 13
    A Smoker says:

    Hurrah, cheaper fags (albeit illegal ones).

    Like

  11. 15
    Voice of Treason says:

    I thought Cameron was going to get rid of the nanny state but he’s just as bad as New Labour. In fact I’m getting really pissed off with this government and especially the twat-faced Cameron and his treacherous sidekick Clegg. They talk tough but are as limp-wristed as a fractured arm faggot.

    Like

  12. 16
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    “We’ll roll back the Nanny state”

    Meet Blue Labour just like the old Labour, why not trust the people to make a decision over if they want or not want to smoke?

    It started with the enforcement of seatbelts and it’s continuing now, someone needs to have a closer look at ASH and it’s lobbying power, f’ing commies.

    Like

    • 38
      Scurfy says:

      Bookmark Dick Puddlecote, I say:

      http://dickpuddlecote.blogspot.com/

      Like

      • 78
        Socialism Ate My Future says:

        Thanks for the link, I’m sick of all these “we know best” clearings in the woods just leave me alone to go about my daily day.

        On a tangent, do you know how long it took the Police to come over after I slapped a chav for throwing a stone at my windscreen? 3 days! god knows what it’ll be like when the Labour fan boys and girls start loosing their jobs.

        Like

    • 42
      Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

      Indeed

      Like

  13. 17
    • 25
      Socialism Ate My Future says:

      Yeah I watched and learnt so my Chinese fixer is sending over 10 shipments only Bensons though is that ok?
      :)

      Like

    • 114
      Wayne And Waynetta's Sugar Daddy says:

      2nd most expensive in the world, and people are buying contraband, wow what a shocker.

      I’m fortunate that I travel abroad a lot with work so haven’t bought uk cigs for a while, so keep raising the taxes and watch revenue continue to decline stupid idiots.

      Like

  14. 18
    EU, prisoner votes, bailouts, nannying, muzzies, corrupt non-resigning MPs & me? No thanks. says:

    Too right.

    “Democracy for the Libyans” but not for the overwhelming majority of the UK who wish to wrest control of the UK back from Europe eh? You morally vacuous and poisonously dogmatic dictator.

    When is the referendum Dave you fucking wanker?

    Remember when you wrote this in the Sun?

    – – –

    ‘Labour promised vote on EU’ ……… By DAVID CAMERON
    Writing exclusively for The Sun ………………..28 Aug 2007

    “I’VE got a couple of simple questions for Gordon Brown.

    What makes you think you can break your promises to the British people?

    And what makes you think you can change the way our country is governed without asking the British people first?

    There’s a simple answer to both questions: Arrogance.

    And when it comes to Europe, arrogance is what we’ve seen from Labour time and time again.

    It’s the arrogance that says: “We, the powerful elites, know best” “

    – – –

    You have the power to make the required changes. You will not exercise that power.

    It’s the arrogance that says: “We, the powerful elites, know best”

    It certainly is the arrogance. It goes further when you are now in a position to do something about it and refuse to do so.

    You are a fra~ud. Hell is too nice a place for you.

    Like

  15. 20
    Giles says:

    Really? Stopping people smoking is an enemy of enterprise? I wouldn’t have thought paying £5 for a box of tobacco and then setting fire to it (damaging your health in the meantime) is a constructive use of wealth.

    Changing the packaging is hardly prohibition either.

    By any chance are you a smoker?

    Like

  16. 21
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    We did win the 2nd world war , right?

    Like

  17. 22
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    That’s a few more votes for UKIP.

    And for Dave’s next election-losing trick……..

    Like

  18. 24
    Engineer says:

    So far as I’m aware, it isn’t illegal to grow tobacco plants in your garden. I’ve no idea if the resulting crop is palatable, but it might be worth someone’s while to give it a try. No tax, just a bit of effort.

    Like

    • 32
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      I believe its not possible to grow palatable tobacco north of … Greece.

      Like

      • 57
        TOBACCO GROWER says:

        You are wrong. Tobacco can be grown very easily in GB just like tomatoes. In fact it was encouraged and considered a patriotic thing to do during the war.

        Like

    • 34
      Scurfy says:

      Too chilly hereabouts, sir, as I understand. Growing plants in one’s loft is apparently more profitable, as long as you pirate the leccy from next door or the lamp-post in the street.

      Like

    • 49
      TOBACCO GROWER says:

      I GROW MY OWN TOBACCO HERE IN GB AND IT’S EASY!
      If you can grow tomatoes, you can grow tobacco.
      Plenty of info on the net and the seeds are really cheap.

      Like

      • 60
        Scurfy says:

        I stand corrected and will check this out. I have destroyed my lawn in order to grow veg and may set aside a plot. Then I will cure the leaves and roll them into fags which I will leave on my little glut-table outside the gate with a “Help Yourself” sign.

        Like

    • 91
      Walter Raleigh says:

      IIRC, by law you’re legally liable to pay duty on home grown tobacco even if it’s only for personal consumption. Not that they’re likely to make a court case out of it at the moment, but in a few years time…

      Like

      • 123
        TOBACCO GROWER says:

        Bullshit.
        You can do what you want for your own use because a leaf only becomes smokeable tobacco when shredded, until then it’s compost.
        Don’t worry about Nanny, she knows when she’s licked.

        Like

  19. 31
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    More EU inspired Liberal Fascism from rusty Dave.

    The sooner this Coalition is destroyed at the ballot box the better.

    At least with Labour we know that we are utterly fucked rather than the deceit & fraud of this duplicitous bunch of lying shysters.

    Continuity Blue Labour OUT!

    Like

  20. 36
    The Sheikh Of Arabeeee says:

    …and meanwhile cigarette counterfeiting gangs in the Balkans are cumming in their pants at the thought of how much money they’ll save and how easy it will be to replicate these non-branded packets.

    Like

    • 44
      The people says:

      it’s possible to have security measures such as holograms etc. that aren’t advertising?

      Like

    • 53
      Scurfy says:

      How do you counterfeit a cigarette? When I was a kid the sweet-shop stocked vile sugar cigarettes with one end painted red to make it look as if it was on fire. They were not only counterfeit but a triumph of capitalism — training us to smoke, rotting our teeth and giving us diabetes, all of which contributed to GDP. Genius or what?

      Like

      • 77
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        How do you counterfeit a cigarette?

        you make a shite cigarette out of any old crap tobacco, perhaps add some Tea and a few random chemicals to make it smell right. Shove in nicely printed packet.

        Like

        • 98
          Socialism Ate My Future says:

          Yep smoked one Marlborough “Light” from a I use the term loosely from a 20 pack purchased at a bazaar in Basra a few years back.

          Took one drag and quit smoking soon after, I’m sure that’s where Saddams wmd have been turned into it was vile and I didn’t have to put up with ASH telling me that I should stop, I thank the man sitting in the van sliding “tobacco” into a hollow cigarette for that.

          Like

        • 132
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          …or in the case of Camel cigarettes, it doesn’t matter. They taste like shite. Never had a fag like it and hope I never do again.

          Like

    • 130
      Mine d'Boggles says:

      Sobranie Balkan for me chaps!

      Like

  21. 41
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Roll on PMQ’s

    And it’s goodbye from William Hague,I understand that Ed Miliband will put the boot in today.

    Like

  22. 47
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    The country is awash with bootleg tobacco full of Cadmium, Arsenic and God knows what else, which ARE dangers to passive smokers, so what does the Muscular Liberal do? Allow the bootleggers a greater opportunity to increase market advantage. I suggest the title of Maximum Imbecile has found a new owner. BTW, I’m a non-smoker.
    This act of pygmy-brained prejudice against the legal pastime of tobacco usage should put paid to any lingering doubt that Camoran (sic) is a Tory. The sooner the Party defenestrates him, the better.

    Like

    • 63
      Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

      GOM,

      Not going to happen.

      I left the party because of the infestation of EU liberal fascism & Heathite treason that Cameron & his clan espouses. Only now is the mask dropping & the true nature of “call me Dave” known.

      The Cameroons have already sealed the fate of & the destruction of the Conservative Party.

      Sooner the better for me now – all the more for UKIP.

      Like

      • 150
        The Sheikh Of Arabeeee says:

        I keep getting letters from Nice-But-Thick-As-A-Nappy-Butty Warsi asking me to donate.

        No.

        Fuck off.

        Get rid of that shiny-foreheaded fucking lying fucking fucking Social Democrat fucking twat CMD and get somebody with a pair of balls to lead you. Ditch the fucking stupid nanny state policies- of which this is a prime fucking example and confirms that Lansley is a fucking spineless, brainless fucking cowardly prick who’s let the fucking Common Purpose dickwads at the Ministry and Arnott wearing a big strap-on gang ream his gaping enlarged-by-prefects-at-Brentwood fucking arsehole.

        Then you might get some support, and my vote, again.

        I want my country back you bastards.

        Like

    • 74
      Engineer says:

      Is it part of the Big Society if people grow their own?

      Like

  23. 51
    @Kilkeal says:

    Surely there are more important things to do, or is everything running so smoothly, the coalition (should I put conservative led?) is looking round for things interfere with. Which legislation is being repealed to make room for this advancement in society. Here in Ireland cigarettes are no longer displayed and sold from a cabinet, smoking in young people has increased.

    Like

  24. 58
    Herodian says:

    I’d never have believed that the fagging system went on beyond Eton until I saw Clegg mincing around Cameron.

    Like

  25. 61
    Cheech & Chong says:

    Hi, I’m Robert Zimmerman.
    I used to smoke ’bout 20 packs of cigarettes a day.
    Till they took away one of m’lungs.
    Cut ma smokin’ in half.

    Like

  26. 62
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    first they came for my freedom to chose my smokes, i said nothing…..

    Like

    • 125
      AC1 says:

      First?

      They started meddling with salt and fat in food (probably because they know you’ll eat more to compensate). Just look what a disaster the “food pyramid” is.

      Like

  27. 64
    Sres says:

    You don’t just walk into a shop and while scouring the counter for your favourite choc bar think, hmm, you know what I’ll have 20 benson and hedges instead.

    Smoking is peer pressure from those kids who sneak their parents cigs, yet again parents are to blame and not cornershops, the evil purveyor.

    Like

    • 112
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      Really?

      You may not be old enough to remember that cigarettes used to be advertised on the TV. They were very trendy back then and everyone was encouraged to smoke because it made you a better person.

      Don’t blame the parents – they didn’t know any different then – just get your facts right!

      Like

      • 127
        AC1 says:

        Smoking does make you a better person. Just look at those who want to ban it.

        Like

      • 131
        Mine d'Boggles says:

        “You’re never alone with a Strand”. Cough, crash.

        Like

        • 139
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          When I was at school in the 70’s I could buy 5 Woodbines for the cost of my lunch money. It was the done thing then and we all smoked. Shops were very willing to sell them to us. We could buy them practically anywhere. No government guidelines then, which is why we’re where we are today.

          Like

  28. 70
    Fa Kin Su Pah says:

    So the frenzied nannying and law making
    continues. We are under a dictatorship
    of health nazis who are determined to do us good.

    Like

    • 73
      Sres says:

      Be quiet and eat your greens and breathless for the environment you CO2 factory you.

      Like

    • 76
      Engineer says:

      Doctor – “If you don’t smoke, don’t touch alcohol, don’t play about with women and eat healthily, you’ll live to be 100.”

      Me – “Why would I want to?”

      Like

  29. 72
    Stepney says:

    P&O ferry sales to increase 200%.

    Convoys of white vans hurtling through Kent.

    Best place to buy fags is Belgium – cheap as chips and although the seat of EU bullyboys, freely available in lovely branded boxes of 1000.

    I go twice a year to stock up and never have to go to the newsagents round the corner. My baccy tax ends up paying for Belgian nurses.

    And will continue to do so.

    Used to be to piss off Gordon. Now it’s Dave’s turn.

    Leave me alone.

    Like

  30. 82
    Anonymous says:

    I’m a great believer in the “you could be hit by a bus tomorrow” argument (as per The People’s posting in number 6).

    There’s one risk statistic that people don’t mention much, which is this:

    Everybody on the planet has a 100% chance of dying no matter what they do.

    So, I’ll live my life in a way that I’ll enjoy it thank you very much, because I’m only here once, and I’d rather have a shortish enjoyable/fulfilled life than a long boring pointless life.

    I might give up smoking one day, but if/when I do, I’m not going to spend my time lecturing other people who smoke; everybody knows the risks.

    I don’t see pictures of clogged arteries on packets of butter, or pictures of broken spinal cords on skiiing brochures, but they’re still relevant risks.

    I wish the government would stop putting us in the “naughty corner” like children – I’m a grown-up for fuck’s sake, I can make my own choices; so fuck off and leave me alone.

    Like

    • 87
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      +1

      Like

    • 103
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      +1

      Like

    • 116
      Olive Oyl says:

      Who eats butter? It’s BAD for you, FFS!

      Like

    • 158
      Stevie says:

      Oxygen is poisonous! EVERYONE who breathes this substance will die one day. I am perfectly well aware of the risks of the baccy – I just dont give a fucking fuck. They are my lungs so just fuck the fucking fuck off and leave me alone. Ive just about had enough of these two faced,thieving. EU cocksuckers telling me how to live my life. I want to emigrate to 1956 – or failing that – bring on the revolution.Time for a fag and a look at the UKIP website….

      Like

  31. 83
    Anonymous says:

    The Labour party has lodged a formal complaint to the BBC amid a growing political row over how the corporation covers the Coalition’s deficit reduction policies.

    Officials complained that a BBC London News report concerning NHS budgets used the word “savings” instead of “cuts”.

    HaHaHa

    Like

    • 110
      tell it like it really is says:

      Family squabble then between the labour party and labours own publicity broadcasting corporation which the public are forced to fund.

      Like

    • 118
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      Nice one. Let’s hope someone at the Beeb knows which side their bread’s buttered.

      Labour is so last week.

      Like

  32. 84
    Gordon Brown stinks of shit says:

    PMQ’s better be entertaining today. It’s been fucking dull the last few weeks.

    Like

    • 88
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Its takes two to tango, Need a decent oppo to make it fun.

      Like

  33. 90
    labour make me puke says:

    If you want to be sick tune into the Daily Politics and look at Caroline Flint. What a vile bitch, spin and one liners are her speciality. Tell us about what labours cuts policy is. What’s that, nothing to say?

    Like

  34. 101
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido, Should you start a “Is dave Bonkers” thread/tag?

    Like

  35. 106
    Gordon Brown stinks of shit says:

    Enjoying watching Brillo grilling Caroline Flint on Daily Politics over Labour’s total lack of policy on Libya. She’s a total fucking c unt.

    Like

  36. 113
    streamfisher says:

    Well if you cant join them beat them, get the baccy growing plot sorted out and have a trawl online for a spirits still, that’s £5,000 a year saved in taxes already.

    Like

  37. 122
    Gordon Brown stinks of shit says:

    Harman has a very punchable face.

    Like

  38. 126
    Gordon Brown stinks of shit says:

    I thought Cameron did pretty well today. Red was quite shit. I just noticed Claire Perry stand up. If Grumpy chooses her to ask a question, the reaction should be hilarious.

    Like

  39. 145
    Mjolinir says:

    Some years ago I managed a ‘Sweets, News, Cigs’ shop -One of the great ‘stop smoking’ campaigns got under way, and the lobbies – as always – said ‘It Doesn’t Go Far Enough’

    Someone in the trade press suggested that the “UK Tobacco Companies” call a press conference and announce –

    //We can no longer resist the allegations of the harm our products cause. All of our manufacturing and marketing is being closed down. As I speak, the Boards of all our member Companies are meeting to initiate winding up process, and all our employees are being told of their immediate dismissal.

    UK Government has been informed that it will receive NO MORE Tobacco Duty.

    Thank you, Ladies & Gents. Good Morning.

    Like

  40. 146
    jheath says:

    Has this wretched government nothing better to do? Even social democrat Helmut Schmidt is still smoking like a good ‘un at 90 odd, and talking sense on global warming and the IPCC. But you get no sense from our younger elite politicians.

    Like

  41. 149
    Voice of Treason says:

    Wonderful to watch Caroline Flint make mincemeat of the fawning Francis Maude today. To see Maude backtracking and getting himself in tight corner because twat-faced Cameron has become all nanny state and hot flushes was a hoot. Fooking Maude was obviously getting angry at having to adopt one of New Labour’s policies.

    There is little difference between Cameron and New Labour. Let’s hope UKIP can provide a platform of sanity in the future.

    Like

  42. 152
    Voice of Treason says:

    So, there will be no ciggys on display but they will be able to display a price list of all the ciggys available. They really are a bunch of half-wits and Cameron with his sidekick treacherous Clegg, the biggest half-wit of them all.

    Like

  43. 157
    Anonymous says:

    Idiots!
    Just wait for AV and then we can get some UKIP MPs who will represent us!

    Like


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