March 7th, 2011

Downing Street Struggles in the Thick of It

There is an air of chaos in Westminster today. Firstly Craig Oliver was all in a spin after being refused entry by Downing Street security, but that’s nothing on the mess that the capture of the SAS troops and our “diplomat” in the desert has caused. Hague, who has taken his eye off various balls recently, looks like he is being hung out to dry on this one. He will be before the House at three thirty, but not before a Whitehall source mouthed off to the BBC confirming he personally authorised the mission, despite little evidence our overtures were welcome. It’s almost as if No.10 has other matters on their plate…

The Prince Andrew story has gone nuclear, not least because an-as-of-yet-un-named SpAd briefed in Cardiff over the weekend that “one more story” and Andrew would be out. Cue a mass shaking of the branch by every hack. Another briefing, perhaps by the same chatty character, said “no tears would be shed” at Andrews departure. A long cry from the official line this morning that the Duke has the government’s full confidence. It’s times like this that real weak spots are being exposed and a bad day for Dave and co to go gallivanting up north for a gimmicky Cabinet Away Day. No wonder it’s open season on SpAds according to Ben Brogan

UPDATE: Mark Wallace notices that SpAd’s are even using Malcom Tucker’s favourite “omnishambles”. You could make it up…


198 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I thought they wer going to scrap those awayday gimmicks?

  2. 2
    @Kilkeal says:

    Looks like the “enemy of enterprise” speech did not go down well in Whitehall. Civil service bites back!

  3. 3

    Can I thank my Libyan Muslim Brothers for returning the SAS safely & unharmed

    http://londonmuslims.blogspot.com/2011/03/sas-in-libya-fiasco.html

  4. 4
    capt apollo says:

    Andrew = scapegoat so the no light shines on the like of blair, mandy etc ?
    As for the sas/sbs/ SF Libya farce it reeks of a Spad or FO cock up more than a military one, sir Humphrey must be protected blame the poor bloody toms

  5. 5
    Number ones says:

    Billy’s on a roll, he must have his dick wired to the internet.

  6. 6
    Toby Lerone says:

    out “diplomat”? – Friend of Hague’s no doubt, hence the mission.

  7. 7
    Chris Myers says:

    I’m now glad I got out when I did. Being associated with William’s cock ups would have ruined my reputation.

  8. 8
    Ashtrayhead says:

    It’s almost as if Bliar doesn’t exist anymore, in the rush by the MSM to keep the fat prince in the headlines. Maybe that’s the advice he gave to Scameron.

  9. 9
    Eeu to me says:

    The BBC seem to be creaming their collective nickers over the SAS snafu with Billy Vague getting a hit because he authorised it, the Beeb has “experts” coming out of the woodwork all over the organisation giving “explanations” as to how things went wrong, If I was the Beeb I would crawl under the woodwork and keep quiet, those bstards work on, we will get our own back and not on Political Correctness.

  10. 10
    Voice of Treason says:

    Just testing for why I’ve been modded?

  11. 11

    Randy McKnob…MY PRIVATE HELL.
    Excerpt from the soon to be serialised behind TIMESPAYWLL-EXCLUSIVE

    “we were kept in a room lit only by low energy bulbs. There were no i-pods or PS3s.
    Just a few chairs and some bottled water. It was quite hot.
    The guard came in and said “OK English. You are free to go to wherever you come from but please don’t come back until we’re sorted out..we’ve rather a lot going on at the moment.”‘
    We were led up the steps and into the bright sunlight where a waiting old fashioned bus, the sort that is common throughout Darkest-Afrika was waiting. It took us to safety but there were no proper refreshments like Yorkie bars or Pringles. Just hummus and dates.
    It was a ghastly, horrid experience that will haunt me forever….”

  12. 12
    The Pentagon says:

    Its just the same where we are, we keep getting these messages from a Billy about hang em, code name cricket.

  13. 13
    Where's Warsi says:

    Can you imagine being in the SAS, and being asked to take orders from Bill Vague….

    ….and yes Cambo did say he would scrap the cabinet away scheme….U -turn number 127

  14. 14
    Voice of Treason says:

    Ah I now know – it was using the correct spelling for peeedofile which automatically goes into moderation – pathetic!

    Try again – watched the increasingly spineless Vince Cable giving his support to the befriender of a peedofile the fooking arrogant royal Andrew. This guy uses taxpayers money to swan around the world with his flunkeys. Why is it that all ministers are weak when it comes to criticise that incredibly disfunctional family the royals?

  15. 15
    Voice of Treason says:

    Thought the SAS were invincible but it seems that a bunch of civilian protesters can arrest them in no time at all LOL!

  16. 16
    Cynic says:

    All those lithe young military men in tight fitting uniforms clutching their big weapons as they climb into helicopters….almost makes me go all squidgy

  17. 17

    Because they sent him in the first place?

  18. 18
    Eeu to me says:

    Seems Andy Pandy is getting a trial by association, are these Bstards hiding something else and using Andy Pandy as a smokescreen.

  19. 19
    smoggie says:

    I think the rebels fucked up. But perhaps they don’t need help?

  20. 20
    Where's Warsi says:

    Take your pick:-

    “PM Props Up Prince and The Pa*ed*o”
    “PM Praises Prince and The Pa*ed*o
    “Prince promotes Pa*e*do with PM’s Promise”

  21. 21
    Cynic says:

    I assume the “Diplomat” was based on the other side of the River from the Foreign Office ….so just what were they up to with the Rebels

  22. 22
    Cynic says:

    Why is a convicted pedophile prostitute user paying off Sarah Ferguson’s Debts?

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    They were scouting for a decent hotel ? What else ?

  24. 24
    gyges says:

    Will Mr Hague be put under very much scrutiny in the House this afternoon? I doubt it. The wheels are falling off the idea that the events seen in North Africa are a spontaneous peoples’ uprising due to various technical difficulties.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the SAS/Spook mission was to offer more money for the mercenaries to keep up the attack. After all, since the other regimes had collapsed like sacks of sh*t, it is hardly surprising that the mercenaries/technicals only expected to turn up rather than participate in a sustained attack.

  25. 25
    I says:

    Prince Andrew to take up position with Childline.

  26. 26
    smoggie says:

    And ministers don’t swan around the world on taxpayers’ money, of course.

  27. 27
    :# says:

    I love those 4′ nuthin munchkin plod you see about these days, all tooled up to the nines with the latest gadgetry, and the crims running riot all around them.

  28. 28
    smoggie says:

    I’m sure they didn’t intend to start a firefight with people they had come to talk to. The intelligence was fucked. Blame MI6.

  29. 29
    over 200 years of highway robbery says:

    That’s because it’s THEIR money.

  30. 30
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Exactly. Andy’s far from my favourite person but you have to be suspicious when Bryant mouths off (again) on Toady, as he did this am.

    What’s that fucking narcissistic little twink every done for his country, eh? Fuck all, that’s what. FUCK ALL. He certainly hasn’t drummed up billions of pounds of trade; still less has he flown helicopters in **front line combat** in the Falklands.

    Not once – not fucking once – have I seen any constructive suggestion for a replacement to Andy. Just what you’d expect from the Blank Sheet of Paper Party.

    Useless poof.

  31. 31
    smoggie says:

    Quite. She’s not exactly a spring chicken.

  32. 32
    I Squiggle says:

    Re the SAS/Libya farce – surely it would have been more of a story if we discovered Hague *hadn’t* personally authorised it. That and we really should know who over at the MOD authorised it – though we’ll probably discover it was a Captain Mainwaring..

  33. 33
    Usually correct says:

    Not so long ago they were jumping to David Millibandstein’s tune, oyvey!

  34. 34
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    If i were Dave i would check No 10 for any black magic/voodooo stuff that the fromer squatter may have left .

  35. 35
    Tax Payer says:

    Ah – so you’re suggesting that the resistance may not last long, at least not without more money being paid?

    What value UK contracts if Gadaffi survives?

  36. 36
    Muammar Muhammad al-Gaddafi says:

    Soon I sort out the rebels. Then I will be coming after you all!

  37. 37
    Operation Certain Fuckup says:

    Moral must be pretty low in the armed forces just now…even for those who aint got their UB40s yet.

  38. 38
    Ho, Hum says:

    Liked the interview done by the Sun newspaper in Basra with a squaddy during Iraq war No1, the Labour Defence minister at the time had said it was just like being in an English sea side town, squaddy: Yeah, its just like Portsmouth, no women, no decent beer and the locals all hate us.

  39. 39
    Voice of Treason says:

    WE elect MPs so they are entitled to do business around the world. We don’t elect that rude, arrogant twaat Andrew and his little army of flunkeys, one of whom is used to ensure he can put his trousers on the right way round and another used to ensure there is toothpaste ready on his toothbrush.

  40. 40
    Gordon says:

    Saw Tony at lunchtime earlier. He gave me an ice-cream cone. He must really like me

  41. 41
    Puzzled says:

    Remind me again, what is the point of William Hague?

  42. 42
    A Professional shit stirrer says:

    Bryant is a shit stirrer full stop. This probably explains why he likes to wiggle his willy up men’s bottoms.

  43. 43
    Lex Durex Lex says:

    As long as he wears protection…

  44. 44
    gyges says:

    “so you’re suggesting that the resistance may not last long,”

    If I’m correct that they are ‘technicals/mercenaries': Yes, that’s what I’m suggesting.

    Re Gadaffi contracts … I’m sure he’ll be very wary of any Casus Belli and he still needs a market for his oil.

  45. 45
    Vanessa George says:

    Neither am I, but like kids too…

  46. 46
    Trevor Phillips says:

    I said to my doctor “Every time I have sex with a white woman my eyes begin to sting.”

    The doctor says “That’ll be the pepper spray.”

  47. 47
    Mike Hancock says:

    I have never given Fergie a single penny.

  48. 48
    smoggie says:

    No prejudice there then

  49. 49
    Hugh Janus says:

    Blimey, if he’s got Call-Me-Dave’s full confidence then he’s a dead man walking.

  50. 50
    P. Doff says:

    That’s just Billy acting the goat!

  51. 51
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    What would Kelvin do?

  52. 52
    P. Doff says:

    Aye lad… it would have stretched it a bit!

  53. 53
    Larry the Cat says:

    I want to go back to Battersea. This place is a mad house.

  54. 54
    Jack says:

    There are telephones to contact the Lybian Oppoisition in Bengazi

    Whoare these amateur wan kers at the Foreign Office or MOD ?

    Qatar has established diplomatic relations with the Opposition without sending anyone !

    You would have difficulty making up this stupidity

  55. 55
    Damian Macbride says:

    At least I knew how to get past security

  56. 56
    Sir William Waad says:

    Wasn’t he Welsh Rarebit Secretary under John Major, eigh oop, champion, iechyd da? After that, well, I might have been dreaming, but I could have sworn somebody made him leader of the Conservative Party, presumably in a spirit of impish fun!

  57. 57
    Fa Kin Su Pah says:

    Marvellous opportunity for the anti-British
    brigade ably led by the BBC and typified by
    that bacterial pervert and victim of bullies,
    ‘Chris-pants-Bryant’

  58. 58
    Craig Oliver says:

    Guido

    I even had some cash to pay the taxi

    I caught the train OK

    Thanks for the support

  59. 59
    The Grand Old Duke of York says:

    There will be a happy ending

  60. 60
    Angry Taxpayer says:

    This is as bad as Brown FFS

  61. 61
    Toby Lerone says:

    Think he referred to Andy as an “embarrasment”? From a man who circulates pics of himself in his (none too clean) pants that’s a bit rich really.

  62. 62
    David Milliband says:

    Thanks God for all of this

    It will take people’s attention away from the Ralph Milliband Gaddafi Lecture organised by my brother’s mates

    BYW That brother is mine is the pits

  63. 63
    Cardinal Kasper says:

    Britain is a third world country

  64. 64
    Uncle Rupert says:

    If you put a Beeboid in charge of Government Communications

    With no experience in politics

    You dont’ need to be Sherlock Holmes (or watcson) to know that the whole shebang will just descend into omnishambles

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    Isn’t it rule that the PM gives his support and a short time later the ladder is whipped wat beneath them!

  66. 66
    Sky News reporter says:

    They could have asked John Simpson for that

  67. 67
    Plop says:

    I thought that this was the week for “the Shock Royal announcement “- No not boring Andy- something bigger !

    In Canada the rumours are that Charles has gone gaga !!

  68. 68
    Bob says:

    No one else would

  69. 69
    Bob the Builder (I've taken Squeaker's ladder away..again) says:

    Yes

    And I am an expert in taking the ladder away

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Thought you were a ghost Kasper, still, the more politicos talk up up the economy, the worse position GB is in.

  71. 71
    Phil the Greek says:

    Oh dear

  72. 72
    1980s slapper says:

    Guido

    Now is perfect timing to throw a Rave Party to kill all Rave Parties in 10 Downing Street

    That wil at least make them all happy ..The happy index will explode

  73. 73
    Mad Rassa says:

    Muslim brothers having a great time killing their fellow muslims all over Africa, it seems.

  74. 74
    Jon snow says:

    But did William tell Dave before hand?

  75. 75
    Fa Kin Su Pah says:

    Only about 20 earlier comments on this.
    I simply couldn’t wait though. Bryant has now
    officially replaced Keith Vaz as 1st on my absolutely
    fucking hate him list.

  76. 76
    Mr Chilcott says:

    Hardly surprising

    Labour trashed the Intelligence Services

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    How dare you call the heir to the throne GAGA! True he seems to go off at a tangent but please do tell, Guido wants to know, all tickle tackel appreciated.

  78. 78
    Goldbug says:

    Moral should be low in a service that blindly follows orders to invade and subjugate sovereign countries that have done nothing to the UK simply because it suits US foreign policy. Simply following orders is not a defence against murder or war crimes charges.

  79. 79

    There was another at the time.
    A TV reporter asked a surprised Sergeant if Um Casa really was like a seaside town.

    “Either the minister has never been to Portsmouth or he’s never been to um Casa.
    Um Casa has a lot of sectarianism,fighting,bigotry and poverty. Its more like Glasgow.”

  80. 80
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Yes we hit that milestone between 1997 and 2010.

  81. 81
    Mr Chilcott says:

    It is Prezza that is going gaga

    Or deaf

    Or both

    Too much shagging and Jagging and pying John !

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    Yeah, that’s why he has a full diary of visits and speeches, etc.

    Try again.

    http://www.princeofwales.gov.uk/diary/index.html

  83. 83
    Gawkes says:

    “Name?”
    “Oliver”
    “Sorry chum , not on the guest list, next”

  84. 84
    Voice of Treason says:

    Which flunkey are you – the one who wipes his arse?

  85. 85
    Buck House Press hack says:

    Actually for our Canadian friends

    The heir to our Throne usually speaks to plants and is very ecological you see

    You must never think he is gaga, he is just speaking to the spirits and will be Defender of all the faiths (God help us)

  86. 86
    Editor of the Sun says:

    He would hire the lot of them and start again

    Good question …

  87. 87
    Jawn Wain says:

    Billy, the kid?

  88. 88
    Voice of Treason says:

    One of fooking Andrew’s flunkeys are you?

  89. 89
    Voice of Treason says:

    It’ll need putting on by one of his flunkeys.

  90. 90
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin says:

    Drowning Street was all calm and tranquility when I was there.

  91. 91
    Asylum R Us says:

    You’re thinking of the last occupiers …….

  92. 92
    Fa Kin Su Pah says:

    Yes

  93. 93
    Roman Polanski says:

    How can I get a job with this Andrew guy?

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    Glasgow = Labours Boardwalk Empire

  95. 95
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Being a useless two-foot tall twink from the Rhondda is hardly a badge of pride, really, is it…

  96. 96
    Salesman says:

    Advance booking for the next camel train of dates and hummus maybe? the babagannouche is off until August.

  97. 97
    Steve Miliband says:

    Crack SAS team held by farmer.

    Sounds a bit fishy to me, like a cover for something else

  98. 98
    Moral compass says:

    North North West I think.

  99. 99
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Oh, I don’t know.

    He’s the only gay in the village…..

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    None of it makes sense. What we (the public) now know though is that Gaddafi has taps into the rebel communications, so there was no way as some are suggesting that we could have simply phoned the rebels and arranged a meeting at a time and a place, as that would have resulted in an air strike from Gaddafi. I assume they were intending to give the rebels secure comms for future use.

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    Well get up off your knees in case he misinterprets your desire.

  102. 102
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I’d also like to know what Andy’s “professional” relationship with Ghislaine Maxwell has to do with a peedo phile ring.

    She left the UK for the states almost immediately after daddy fell off his yacht.

  103. 103
    Steve Miliband says:

    Or have completed secret mission at Rebel HQ, with Gadaffi spies at rebel HQ not knowing they have completed their secret mission.

  104. 104
    Col Nasty. says:

    Are No 10 and Hague sleep walking into another Suez?

    Will Obama do an Ike and hang out Cameron to dry?

    What’s Mandy up to?

  105. 105
    Those Lee-by-anns are very beastly to us says:

    RoE I suspect were……. .if apprehended claim ..you were on a diplomatic mission to”recce” a place for “Will’s”stag night …………….

  106. 106
    Mad Rassa says:

    Tough on crime, tough on the causes of slime….

    http://bit.ly/dUa1O3

  107. 107
    Hain's dumb X Spad says:

    Stop slagging off dumb Cardiff Spads.

  108. 108
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I have had notification that my mortgage payments will be going up next month.
    Has David Cameron no clue how to run our economy ?

    I shall be voting Labour from now on to bring an end to Boom & Bust

  109. 109
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Coming soon the i-Spad………….

  110. 110
    Billy Vague says:

    Liam Fox gave the OK for the f*** *p, before he left for Venezuala,

    Or, maybe it was Gaddaffi.

    Jolly good show.

  111. 111
    Smileys People says:

    Less of the secret if you dontmind

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    Did he have a spud gun?

  113. 113
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    It would not have been very British
    to shot dead all the rebels we were there to help
    so they had no choice but to let them capture them

  114. 114

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Putting the FCO into Fiasco!

  115. 115
    Where's the popcorn says:

    Although this will give Liebore ammunition, I must admit all this chaos is rather entertaining. My money’s on Hague going in the next cabinet reshuffle.

  116. 116
    angela says:

    http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2011/03/07/charlie-sheen-wants-to-hang-out-with-boris/

    POTENTIAL CATASTROPHE OF THE WEEK! Charlie Sheen wants to pal up with Boris Johnson!

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    Spad ‘u’ Like never got off the drawing board.

  118. 118
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Dear Chris
    Always remember to keep a stiff upper one
    always look up to an honourable member
    always enter by the tradesmans entrance

  119. 119
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse.

    I didn’t know I could buy another can in the departure lounge

  120. 120

    That’s right, if you can’t spin away your misrule, bungling, and downright criminality, people are going to see it

  121. 121

    On this one, takin’ the heatr for Dave & putting the FCO into Fiasco. Generally, to fool Conservatroid robot people that they voted for conservative politicians.

  122. 122
    Fa Kin Su Pah says:

    He only needs to know
    on a need to know basis

  123. 123

    Come to think of it, ze British government ist only vollowing ze orders!

  124. 124
    Desperate Dan says:

    The way I see it is journalists don’t know what is going on so they guess, make things up and spread ridiculous rumours, eg double dip recession, flu pandemic, double digit interest rates etc. When it turns out that their wild imaginings are completely wrong, as they very often are, instead of offering an apology they look round for someone to blame and its usually the government. Its not this government’s fault that journalists are thick as bricks and are increasingly running round like headless chickens because no-one is feeding them enough press releases.

  125. 125
    mandy says:

    Right now I’m up to the pelvic colon.

  126. 126
    Anonymous says:

    Where did you hide the cheese sandwiches?

  127. 127
    8 Minute Eddie says:

    Keeps me out the news.

  128. 128
    John Bull says:

    Mr Hague has been shaken to the core by his shirtlifting secret getting out. Its obvious to a blind man on a gallopin’ ‘oss.

    Get over you big girl’s blouse.

  129. 129
    Sir William Waad says:

    A ‘technical’ is an armed pick-up truck rather than the person in it. That person may or may not be a mercenary. In Somalia, for instance, they generally aren’t, although they may be adventurers out for a bit of religiously-encouraged ‘sport’ with the locals. During Gaddafi’s last military defeat in the ‘Toyota War’ they weren’t mercenaries but Chadian irregulars.

  130. 130
    Cockney Christian says:

    You can do more than that pal, make every Englishman happy and go and join your ‘brothers’.

  131. 131
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I hated the agony of it all in that maternity room, the wife with her legs wide open, blood everywhere and screaming at the top of voice, things like..

    “You bastard, you’ve put this inside me! Don’t come near me again!”

    It went on for fucking ages before the midwife put an end to it all,

    “Billy Bowden, I think it’s time you took your cock out and let the baby come!”

  132. 132
    Sir William Waad says:

    I like to call a Spad a Spad.

  133. 133
    NC says:

    the problem with the Tories is that they want to eat the chicken but no one is prepared to snap its neck

  134. 134
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today i will buy Order-Order.

  135. 135
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Here is the Greggs Pie Forecast for the next 24 hours.

    Steak and Kidney
    Quantity: 4/5.
    Outlook: Diminishing around Tea Time.
    Flatulence: Possible

    Pork Pie
    Quantity: 8/9.
    Outlook: Vanishing lunch time.
    Flatulence: Mild, increasing.

    Custard Pie
    Quantity: 3/4
    Outlook: Scoffing-severe, mid-afternoon
    Flatulence: High, increasing to gale force.

    Chicken and Mushroom
    Quantity: 7/8
    Outlook: Petering out around midnight
    Flatulence: Storm force

    Gluttony warnings remain in place for Baker’s Oven, Ginsters and Battersea Pie Station.

    Moby Prescott was last seen heading in the general direction of Bluewater. The Essex Coastguard has been informed

  136. 136
    Archer Karcher says:

    The present occupiers look every bit as shambolic as the last lot, minus the madman. Osborne on television lauding Rolls Royce engines and saying that we should boost selling them around the world, while his government look at ever increasing ways, to tax people out of flying. They are all cretins.

  137. 137

    Don’r forget Mr Hague, that is you elbow, and THAT is your arse’ole

  138. 138
    JOHN McCRIRICK says:

    Posting pictures of ones self in your underwear on the interweb
    is a perfectly normal

    http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQqDduTm2hBOhgz4g0U6Ok3x1SeiBaDVTuRYbIFlEFdE9oKSabYLQ

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    Billy saying there was a “serious misunderstanding” about the ‘diplomatic team’s’ role.

    Laughter all round.

  140. 140
    The Prince and the Peedo says:

    You can judge a man by the company he keeps.

  141. 141
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    The yachting season hasn’t started yet.

  142. 142
    The RABBI JOHN BERCOWITZ says:

    Dont look at me already !
    i have novere to hide them

  143. 143
    The Prince and the Puido says:

    So is hanging out with a convicted p**do.

  144. 144
    oink says:

    It’s times like this that really do beg questions of the so called government and elites. They really do prove how bloody useless they are. Shrouded in secrecy comments appear from all directions, all un-named and all unccountable to us – the paying public. Why we continue to bother with them I do not know. We do know they are all charlatons and thieves – WE SHOULD HOLD THEM ALL TO ACCOUNT NOW – then hang them

  145. 145
    oink says:

    if there’s something wrong with this view I would like to know it – I am fed up being continually modded for no good reason

  146. 146
    Engineer says:

    They could just get one from Tesco.

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    Hey, what about the idea muted that that Bank of Scotland and Loyds banks (and include Northern Crock) should give the public a free share issue, seeing we have all bailed them out, there seems to be a lot of confusion as to the definition between a private company a public company and a quasi nationalised company, won’t hold my breath, stakeholders? whatever happened to that sound bite?… heads we win, tails you lose.

  148. 148
    Sal says:

    He’s 2 feet tall? I had him down as smaller, a Bercow 3 maybe?

  149. 149
    yeah right says:

    seems to work for Israel.

  150. 150
    Paid it off says:

    Mortgage? How quaint.

  151. 151
    Millions of people says:

    Blair?
    He is dead?
    Someone actually managed to drive a stake into his sulphorous pass-oozing heart?

    :((((
    mis read the posting.

  152. 152
    Archer Karcher says:

    Hasn’t Bill Vague or the FO ever heard of that new fangled telephone thingy?

  153. 153
    Engineer says:

    Count your blessings. At least you don’t get sockpuppeted – or maybe your sockpuppet is being modded as well.

  154. 154
    Engineer says:

    Well, he’s constrained in what he can say. “A complete fuck-up” probably isn’t regarded as parliamentary language, even if it is technically correct.

  155. 155

    Take a trial of these great aero engines and if you want, we can give advice on just ONE little legislative tweak that means they will QUITE LITERALLY pay for themselves whilst you’re using them.

    Send NO CASH NOW: our operatives at the Export Credit Guarantee Scheme are just waiting to talk to you!

  156. 156
    Well I never did says:

    o/t
    Ed and Yvette face probe after claiming more than £14,000 travel expenses for their children

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1363568/Ed-Balls-Yvette-Cooper-face-probe-claiming-14-000-travel-expenses-children.html

  157. 157
    Ed² says:

    Ed, I see you’ve dropped another rickett on doubling up expenses with Yvette.
    I mean come of it Ed, 375 travel claims for children, over 3 years. I mean do they live in one house or 3?

    The Daily Mail will be all over this like a rash

    Signed

    Ed

  158. 158
    ichabod says:

    I think Hague is finished. Probably a relief all round if he does go; even his admirers have been disappointed with his performance at the FO.

  159. 159
    Anonymous says:

    Someone should release the Operation Ore papers onto wikileaks . That’ll give a few MP’s the willies.

  160. 160

    If I was the Beeb I would…

    A promising headline for a new thread here. My own thoughts on this matter would struggle to avoid the Moderator’s axe.

  161. 161
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Its the letters P-E-A that is modded.

  162. 162
    William Gaygue says:

    I think my spad fucked up….right up my chuff!!

  163. 163
    William Gaygue says:

    ‘appen I think my spad fucked up….right up me chuff! Come here and give me some more of that help lad, ba goom!

  164. 164
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Does anyone take David Cameron seriously ???

    He’s heading for a bruising at this week’s PMQ’s from the party opposite

  165. 165
    Marmite says:

    You are not Billy. Your spelling is too good!

  166. 166

    Any old hands out there remember Suez, FO Arabists at their finest?

  167. 167
    The BBC Bias Unit, headcount 14,263 and rising says:

    This is not important. We will not be making any mention of it.

  168. 168

    According to a London midwife I spoke to a few years ago this actually happens in the case of mothers arriving from the Dark Continent at West London NHS hospitals to sprog (and up until recently, in passing Go also collect the Brit passport) . She said they have to leave a nurse with them at all times to stop the (presumably) life partner from exercising his conjugal rights both immediately before and after delivery. One kids one not.

  169. 169
    Prince Hypocrite of Wales says:

    Very ecological?

    Who flys endlessly around the world lecturing people about consuming less. Who also drives around in a selection of V8’s and V12’s and berates everyone within earshot, that they should drive around in windmill powered ‘eco’ boxes, stop flying and live on potato gruel, that very ecological heir you mean?

  170. 170
    Dave's Beeboid Spindoctor says:

    Who needs Andy Coulson ? The Big Society is going from strength to strength.

  171. 171
    Usually correct says:

    Yeabut… all phones including yours and mine go via Israel

  172. 172

    George, you ought to have a quiet word with your contacts at Sky and the BBC.

  173. 173

    Spaad, surely, Sir William?

  174. 174
    The Noble Lie says:

    All part of the rich, multicultural diversity you’ve been brainwashed to celebrate.

  175. 175
    Andy has my support (yes really!!) says:

    No-one can replace Keith Varse on top of any hate list!
    Well perhaps Peter Hain could.
    If we melted these two fellas down it would keep us supplied with oil for years.

  176. 176
    Usually correct says:

    Too late Murdoch and chums own it.

  177. 177
    Vanessa George says:

    Oh, can I watch? I’ll take some pictures if you want…

  178. 178
    Gobbler says:

    Actually, most if not all of them prefer cock…

  179. 179
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    If they’d subbed out the job to the Israelis instead of trying to do it in-house, it would have been successfully completed before anyone knew anything about it (and with a handful of excellent fake passports into the bargain).

  180. 180
    Steve Hilton says:

    Hague and Warsi are in the Cabinet to provide a modicum of comic relief and make the rest look capable in comparison to their incompetence.

  181. 181
    William Hague says:

    I just wanted to impress Dave – he’s been ignoring me for a while since Nick started making eyes at him…

  182. 182
    A. Butler says:

    Strawberry ribbed tonight, Your Grace?

  183. 183

    Certainly diverse.

  184. 184
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Was that diplomat Chris Myers by any chance? “Guarded” by all these butch SAS types!

  185. 185
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Not a question of just being British, it would have been tota\lly stupid if not mad to shoot at the rebel captors whom we are seeking to befreind!

  186. 186
    Mandy says:

    I had him down under

  187. 187
    Esther says:

    But I’m the Nation’s loved one. Everyone adores me.

  188. 188
    Objector says:

    That can’t be true. The slimy Vaz-on-the Take is far far worse thand anyone in the UK.

  189. 189
    Plop says:

    Nothing in his diary between the 4th and the 11th March. Mmmm!
    Velly interlesting , what !

  190. 190
    david says:

    Of course I blame you Guido for the state Hague is in. Hague hasn’t been the same since you revealed he liked to pop into a Travelodge for a bit of, ‘inflate ‘yer mate’ or ‘puff up ‘yer pal’

  191. 191
  192. 192
    Fed up with Windowlicker Vaygue says:

    I don’t mind your viewpoint, but couldn’t you fuck off from this blog until you’ve learned to be funny?

  193. 193

    Okay, it’s a story, but why now? Could it be Cameron needs to deflect attention from a growing number of fuckups?

    Scandals involving the Royals is always guaranteed to get the red tops yapping like poodles after all.

  194. 194
    Giles Farmer says:

    William ‘Got it wrong again dad’ Hague !!!

  195. 195
    Odin's Raven says:

    Perhaps the plan was to preempt the Americans; by getting the new regime to sign deals for oil and gas to continue going to Europe, before the Americans grab the lot after installing their stooges as the new regime.

  196. 196
    Odin's Raven says:

    Maybe it was the same person who authorised the two SAS men caught in Basra dressed as Arabs and with a car full of explosives and weapons.

  197. 197
    Odin's Raven says:

    Perhaps their contacts double-crossed them. Maybe they can get a better deal from the Americans.

  198. 198
    Conspiracyexpert says:

    Willie Vague sent the SAS out there to capture a farmer, and to bring him back here for Willie to interrogate him, or something like that.

    It’s obvious really.


Seen Elsewhere

Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times
New Tory, New Danger | Laura Perrins
UKIP Could Work With Dave If Price is Right | Douglas Carswell
Cops Catch Crims With B.O. Test | Techno Guido
Bashir’s “False Account” to His Own Lawyers | Times
Injustice of Tax Avoidance Hysteria | City AM


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