Downing Street Struggles in the Thick of It
There is an air of chaos in Westminster today. Firstly Craig Oliver was all in a spin after being refused entry by Downing Street security, but that’s nothing on the mess that the capture of the SAS troops and our “diplomat” in the desert has caused. Hague, who has taken his eye off various balls recently, looks like he is being hung out to dry on this one. He will be before the House at three thirty, but not before a Whitehall source mouthed off to the BBC confirming he personally authorised the mission, despite little evidence our overtures were welcome. It’s almost as if No.10 has other matters on their plate…
The Prince Andrew story has gone nuclear, not least because an-as-of-yet-un-named SpAd briefed in Cardiff over the weekend that “one more story” and Andrew would be out. Cue a mass shaking of the branch by every hack. Another briefing, perhaps by the same chatty character, said “no tears would be shed” at Andrews departure. A long cry from the official line this morning that the Duke has the government’s full confidence. It’s times like this that real weak spots are being exposed and a bad day for Dave and co to go gallivanting up north for a gimmicky Cabinet Away Day. No wonder it’s open season on SpAds according to Ben Brogan…
UPDATE: Mark Wallace notices that SpAd’s are even using Malcom Tucker’s favourite “omnishambles”. You could make it up…
I thought they wer going to scrap those awayday gimmicks?
Can I thank my Libyan Muslim Brothers for returning the SAS safely & unharmed
http://londonmuslims.blogspot.com/2011/03/sas-in-libya-fiasco.html
I think the rebels fucked up. But perhaps they don’t need help?
Soon I sort out the rebels. Then I will be coming after you all!
Was that diplomat Chris Myers by any chance? “Guarded” by all these butch SAS types!
I think my spad fucked up….right up my chuff!!
‘appen I think my spad fucked up….right up me chuff! Come here and give me some more of that help lad, ba goom!
I don’t mind your viewpoint, but couldn’t you fuck off from this blog until you’ve learned to be funny?
Muslim brothers having a great time killing their fellow muslims all over Africa, it seems.
It would not have been very British
to shot dead all the rebels we were there to help
so they had no choice but to let them capture them
Not a question of just being British, it would have been tota\lly stupid if not mad to shoot at the rebel captors whom we are seeking to befreind!
You can do more than that pal, make every Englishman happy and go and join your ‘brothers’.
William ‘Got it wrong again dad’ Hague !!!
Billy’s on a roll, he must have his dick wired to the internet.
Its just the same where we are, we keep getting these messages from a Billy about hang em, code name cricket.
That’s just Billy acting the goat!
Billy, the kid?
I’m now glad I got out when I did. Being associated with William’s cock ups would have ruined my reputation.
Aye lad… it would have stretched it a bit!
Dear Chris
Always remember to keep a stiff upper one
always look up to an honourable member
always enter by the tradesmans entrance
I want to go back to Battersea. This place is a mad house.
You’re thinking of the last occupiers …….
The present occupiers look every bit as shambolic as the last lot, minus the madman. Osborne on television lauding Rolls Royce engines and saying that we should boost selling them around the world, while his government look at ever increasing ways, to tax people out of flying. They are all cretins.
Take a trial of these great aero engines and if you want, we can give advice on just ONE little legislative tweak that means they will QUITE LITERALLY pay for themselves whilst you’re using them.
Send NO CASH NOW: our operatives at the Export Credit Guarantee Scheme are just waiting to talk to you!
Looks like the “enemy of enterprise” speech did not go down well in Whitehall. Civil service bites back!
Andrew = scapegoat so the no light shines on the like of blair, mandy etc ?
As for the sas/sbs/ SF Libya farce it reeks of a Spad or FO cock up more than a military one, sir Humphrey must be protected blame the poor bloody toms
Exactly. Andy’s far from my favourite person but you have to be suspicious when Bryant mouths off (again) on Toady, as he did this am.
What’s that fucking narcissistic little twink every done for his country, eh? Fuck all, that’s what. FUCK ALL. He certainly hasn’t drummed up billions of pounds of trade; still less has he flown helicopters in **front line combat** in the Falklands.
Not once – not fucking once – have I seen any constructive suggestion for a replacement to Andy. Just what you’d expect from the Blank Sheet of Paper Party.
Useless poof.
Bryant is a shit stirrer full stop. This probably explains why he likes to wiggle his willy up men’s bottoms.
Think he referred to Andy as an “embarrasment”? From a man who circulates pics of himself in his (none too clean) pants that’s a bit rich really.
Being a useless two-foot tall twink from the Rhondda is hardly a badge of pride, really, is it…
Oh, I don’t know.
He’s the only gay in the village…..
He’s 2 feet tall? I had him down as smaller, a Bercow 3 maybe?
I had him down under
Posting pictures of ones self in your underwear on the interweb
is a perfectly normal
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQqDduTm2hBOhgz4g0U6Ok3x1SeiBaDVTuRYbIFlEFdE9oKSabYLQ
So is hanging out with a convicted p**do.
You can judge a man by the company he keeps.
out “diplomat”? – Friend of Hague’s no doubt, hence the mission.
It’s almost as if Bliar doesn’t exist anymore, in the rush by the MSM to keep the fat prince in the headlines. Maybe that’s the advice he gave to Scameron.
Blair?
(((
He is dead?
Someone actually managed to drive a stake into his sulphorous pass-oozing heart?
mis read the posting.
The BBC seem to be creaming their collective nickers over the SAS snafu with Billy Vague getting a hit because he authorised it, the Beeb has “experts” coming out of the woodwork all over the organisation giving “explanations” as to how things went wrong, If I was the Beeb I would crawl under the woodwork and keep quiet, those bstards work on, we will get our own back and not on Political Correctness.
Just testing for why I’ve been modded?
Ah I now know – it was using the correct spelling for peeedofile which automatically goes into moderation – pathetic!
Try again – watched the increasingly spineless Vince Cable giving his support to the befriender of a peedofile the fooking arrogant royal Andrew. This guy uses taxpayers money to swan around the world with his flunkeys. Why is it that all ministers are weak when it comes to criticise that incredibly disfunctional family the royals?
Because they sent him in the first place?
Seems Andy Pandy is getting a trial by association, are these Bstards hiding something else and using Andy Pandy as a smokescreen.
I’d also like to know what Andy’s “professional” relationship with Ghislaine Maxwell has to do with a peedo phile ring.
She left the UK for the states almost immediately after daddy fell off his yacht.
Someone should release the Operation Ore papers onto wikileaks . That’ll give a few MP’s the willies.
And ministers don’t swan around the world on taxpayers’ money, of course.
That’s because it’s THEIR money.
WE elect MPs so they are entitled to do business around the world. We don’t elect that rude, arrogant twaat Andrew and his little army of flunkeys, one of whom is used to ensure he can put his trousers on the right way round and another used to ensure there is toothpaste ready on his toothbrush.
No prejudice there then
If I was the Beeb I would…
A promising headline for a new thread here. My own thoughts on this matter would struggle to avoid the Moderator’s axe.
Randy McKnob…MY PRIVATE HELL.
Excerpt from the soon to be serialised behind TIMESPAYWLL-EXCLUSIVE
“we were kept in a room lit only by low energy bulbs. There were no i-pods or PS3s.
Just a few chairs and some bottled water. It was quite hot.
The guard came in and said “OK English. You are free to go to wherever you come from but please don’t come back until we’re sorted out..we’ve rather a lot going on at the moment.”‘
We were led up the steps and into the bright sunlight where a waiting old fashioned bus, the sort that is common throughout Darkest-Afrika was waiting. It took us to safety but there were no proper refreshments like Yorkie bars or Pringles. Just hummus and dates.
It was a ghastly, horrid experience that will haunt me forever….”
Liked the interview done by the Sun newspaper in Basra with a squaddy during Iraq war No1, the Labour Defence minister at the time had said it was just like being in an English sea side town, squaddy: Yeah, its just like Portsmouth, no women, no decent beer and the locals all hate us.
There was another at the time.
A TV reporter asked a surprised Sergeant if Um Casa really was like a seaside town.
“Either the minister has never been to Portsmouth or he’s never been to um Casa.
Um Casa has a lot of sectarianism,fighting,bigotry and poverty. Its more like Glasgow.”
Glasgow = Labours Boardwalk Empire
Can you imagine being in the SAS, and being asked to take orders from Bill Vague….
….and yes Cambo did say he would scrap the cabinet away scheme….U -turn number 127
Thought the SAS were invincible but it seems that a bunch of civilian protesters can arrest them in no time at all LOL!
I’m sure they didn’t intend to start a firefight with people they had come to talk to. The intelligence was fucked. Blame MI6.
Hardly surprising
Labour trashed the Intelligence Services
Hasn’t Bill Vague or the FO ever heard of that new fangled telephone thingy?
RoE I suspect were……. .if apprehended claim ..you were on a diplomatic mission to”recce” a place for “Will’s”stag night …………….
Willie Vague sent the SAS out there to capture a farmer, and to bring him back here for Willie to interrogate him, or something like that.
It’s obvious really.
Not so long ago they were jumping to David Millibandstein’s tune, oyvey!
Moral must be pretty low in the armed forces just now…even for those who aint got their UB40s yet.
Moral should be low in a service that blindly follows orders to invade and subjugate sovereign countries that have done nothing to the UK simply because it suits US foreign policy. Simply following orders is not a defence against murder or war crimes charges.
seems to work for Israel.
If they’d subbed out the job to the Israelis instead of trying to do it in-house, it would have been successfully completed before anyone knew anything about it (and with a handful of excellent fake passports into the bargain).
All those lithe young military men in tight fitting uniforms clutching their big weapons as they climb into helicopters….almost makes me go all squidgy
I love those 4′ nuthin munchkin plod you see about these days, all tooled up to the nines with the latest gadgetry, and the crims running riot all around them.
Take your pick:-
“PM Props Up Prince and The Pa*ed*o”
“PM Praises Prince and The Pa*ed*o
“Prince promotes Pa*e*do with PM’s Promise”
I assume the “Diplomat” was based on the other side of the River from the Foreign Office ….so just what were they up to with the Rebels
They were scouting for a decent hotel ? What else ?
They could have asked John Simpson for that
Advance booking for the next camel train of dates and hummus maybe? the babagannouche is off until August.
Why is a convicted pedophile prostitute user paying off Sarah Ferguson’s Debts?
Quite. She’s not exactly a spring chicken.
Neither am I, but like kids too…
I have never given Fergie a single penny.
No one else would
Okay, it’s a story, but why now? Could it be Cameron needs to deflect attention from a growing number of fuckups?
Scandals involving the Royals is always guaranteed to get the red tops yapping like poodles after all.
Will Mr Hague be put under very much scrutiny in the House this afternoon? I doubt it. The wheels are falling off the idea that the events seen in North Africa are a spontaneous peoples’ uprising due to various technical difficulties.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the SAS/Spook mission was to offer more money for the mercenaries to keep up the attack. After all, since the other regimes had collapsed like sacks of sh*t, it is hardly surprising that the mercenaries/technicals only expected to turn up rather than participate in a sustained attack.
Ah – so you’re suggesting that the resistance may not last long, at least not without more money being paid?
What value UK contracts if Gadaffi survives?
“so you’re suggesting that the resistance may not last long,”
If I’m correct that they are ‘technicals/mercenaries’: Yes, that’s what I’m suggesting.
Re Gadaffi contracts … I’m sure he’ll be very wary of any Casus Belli and he still needs a market for his oil.
Perhaps the plan was to preempt the Americans; by getting the new regime to sign deals for oil and gas to continue going to Europe, before the Americans grab the lot after installing their stooges as the new regime.
Prince Andrew to take up position with Childline.
As long as he wears protection…
It’ll need putting on by one of his flunkeys.
Strawberry ribbed tonight, Your Grace?
But I’m the Nation’s loved one. Everyone adores me.
Re the SAS/Libya farce – surely it would have been more of a story if we discovered Hague *hadn’t* personally authorised it. That and we really should know who over at the MOD authorised it – though we’ll probably discover it was a Captain Mainwaring..
Maybe it was the same person who authorised the two SAS men caught in Basra dressed as Arabs and with a car full of explosives and weapons.
If i were Dave i would check No 10 for any black magic/voodooo stuff that the fromer squatter may have left .
Saw Tony at lunchtime earlier. He gave me an ice-cream cone. He must really like me
Remind me again, what is the point of William Hague?
Wasn’t he Welsh Rarebit Secretary under John Major, eigh oop, champion, iechyd da? After that, well, I might have been dreaming, but I could have sworn somebody made him leader of the Conservative Party, presumably in a spirit of impish fun!
North North West I think.
On this one, takin’ the heatr for Dave & putting the FCO into Fiasco. Generally, to fool Conservatroid robot people that they voted for conservative politicians.
I said to my doctor “Every time I have sex with a white woman my eyes begin to sting.”
The doctor says “That’ll be the pepper spray.”
Blimey, if he’s got Call-Me-Dave’s full confidence then he’s a dead man walking.
What would Kelvin do?
He would hire the lot of them and start again
Good question …
There are telephones to contact the Lybian Oppoisition in Bengazi
Whoare these amateur wan kers at the Foreign Office or MOD ?
Qatar has established diplomatic relations with the Opposition without sending anyone !
You would have difficulty making up this stupidity
Any old hands out there remember Suez, FO Arabists at their finest?
Yeabut… all phones including yours and mine go via Israel
At least I knew how to get past security
Marvellous opportunity for the anti-British
brigade ably led by the BBC and typified by
that bacterial pervert and victim of bullies,
‘Chris-pants-Bryant’
Only about 20 earlier comments on this.
I simply couldn’t wait though. Bryant has now
officially replaced Keith Vaz as 1st on my absolutely
fucking hate him list.
One of fooking Andrew’s flunkeys are you?
Yes
Well get up off your knees in case he misinterprets your desire.
No-one can replace Keith Varse on top of any hate list!
Well perhaps Peter Hain could.
If we melted these two fellas down it would keep us supplied with oil for years.
That can’t be true. The slimy Vaz-on-the Take is far far worse thand anyone in the UK.
Guido
I even had some cash to pay the taxi
I caught the train OK
Thanks for the support
There will be a happy ending
This is as bad as Brown FFS
Thanks God for all of this
It will take people’s attention away from the Ralph Milliband Gaddafi Lecture organised by my brother’s mates
BYW That brother is mine is the pits
Britain is a third world country
Thought you were a ghost Kasper, still, the more politicos talk up up the economy, the worse position GB is in.
Yes we hit that milestone between 1997 and 2010.
If you put a Beeboid in charge of Government Communications
With no experience in politics
You dont’ need to be Sherlock Holmes (or watcson) to know that the whole shebang will just descend into omnishambles
That’s right, if you can’t spin away your misrule, bungling, and downright criminality, people are going to see it
Isn’t it rule that the PM gives his support and a short time later the ladder is whipped wat beneath them!
Yes
And I am an expert in taking the ladder away
I thought that this was the week for “the Shock Royal announcement “- No not boring Andy- something bigger !
In Canada the rumours are that Charles has gone gaga !!
Oh dear
How dare you call the heir to the throne GAGA! True he seems to go off at a tangent but please do tell, Guido wants to know, all tickle tackel appreciated.
It is Prezza that is going gaga
Or deaf
Or both
Too much shagging and Jagging and pying John !
Here is the Greggs Pie Forecast for the next 24 hours.
Steak and Kidney
Quantity: 4/5.
Outlook: Diminishing around Tea Time.
Flatulence: Possible
Pork Pie
Quantity: 8/9.
Outlook: Vanishing lunch time.
Flatulence: Mild, increasing.
Custard Pie
Quantity: 3/4
Outlook: Scoffing-severe, mid-afternoon
Flatulence: High, increasing to gale force.
Chicken and Mushroom
Quantity: 7/8
Outlook: Petering out around midnight
Flatulence: Storm force
Gluttony warnings remain in place for Baker’s Oven, Ginsters and Battersea Pie Station.
Moby Prescott was last seen heading in the general direction of Bluewater. The Essex Coastguard has been informed
piss off
Yeah, that’s why he has a full diary of visits and speeches, etc.
Try again.
http://www.princeofwales.gov.uk/diary/index.html
Which flunkey are you – the one who wipes his arse?
Actually for our Canadian friends
The heir to our Throne usually speaks to plants and is very ecological you see
You must never think he is gaga, he is just speaking to the spirits and will be Defender of all the faiths (God help us)
Very ecological?
Who flys endlessly around the world lecturing people about consuming less. Who also drives around in a selection of V8′s and V12′s and berates everyone within earshot, that they should drive around in windmill powered ‘eco’ boxes, stop flying and live on potato gruel, that very ecological heir you mean?
Guido
Now is perfect timing to throw a Rave Party to kill all Rave Parties in 10 Downing Street
That wil at least make them all happy ..The happy index will explode
But did William tell Dave before hand?
He only needs to know
on a need to know basis
“Name?”
“Oliver”
“Sorry chum , not on the guest list, next”
Drowning Street was all calm and tranquility when I was there.
How can I get a job with this Andrew guy?
Crack SAS team held by farmer.
Sounds a bit fishy to me, like a cover for something else
None of it makes sense. What we (the public) now know though is that Gaddafi has taps into the rebel communications, so there was no way as some are suggesting that we could have simply phoned the rebels and arranged a meeting at a time and a place, as that would have resulted in an air strike from Gaddafi. I assume they were intending to give the rebels secure comms for future use.
Or have completed secret mission at Rebel HQ, with Gadaffi spies at rebel HQ not knowing they have completed their secret mission.
Less of the secret if you dontmind
George, you ought to have a quiet word with your contacts at Sky and the BBC.
Did he have a spud gun?
Perhaps their contacts double-crossed them. Maybe they can get a better deal from the Americans.
Are No 10 and Hague sleep walking into another Suez?
Will Obama do an Ike and hang out Cameron to dry?
What’s Mandy up to?
Right now I’m up to the pelvic colon.
The yachting season hasn’t started yet.
Tough on crime, tough on the causes of slime….
http://bit.ly/dUa1O3
Stop slagging off dumb Cardiff Spads.
I have had notification that my mortgage payments will be going up next month.
Has David Cameron no clue how to run our economy ?
I shall be voting Labour from now on to bring an end to Boom & Bust
Mortgage? How quaint.
You are not Billy. Your spelling is too good!
Coming soon the i-Spad………….
Spad ‘u’ Like never got off the drawing board.
I like to call a Spad a Spad.
Spaad, surely, Sir William?
Liam Fox gave the OK for the f*** *p, before he left for Venezuala,
Or, maybe it was Gaddaffi.
Jolly good show.
Don’r forget Mr Hague, that is you elbow, and THAT is your arse’ole
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Putting the FCO into Fiasco!
Although this will give Liebore ammunition, I must admit all this chaos is rather entertaining. My money’s on Hague going in the next cabinet reshuffle.
http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2011/03/07/charlie-sheen-wants-to-hang-out-with-boris/
POTENTIAL CATASTROPHE OF THE WEEK! Charlie Sheen wants to pal up with Boris Johnson!
I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse.
I didn’t know I could buy another can in the departure lounge
Where did you hide the cheese sandwiches?
Dont look at me already !
i have novere to hide them
Come to think of it, ze British government ist only vollowing ze orders!
The way I see it is journalists don’t know what is going on so they guess, make things up and spread ridiculous rumours, eg double dip recession, flu pandemic, double digit interest rates etc. When it turns out that their wild imaginings are completely wrong, as they very often are, instead of offering an apology they look round for someone to blame and its usually the government. Its not this government’s fault that journalists are thick as bricks and are increasingly running round like headless chickens because no-one is feeding them enough press releases.
Keeps me out the news.
Mr Hague has been shaken to the core by his shirtlifting secret getting out. Its obvious to a blind man on a gallopin’ ‘oss.
Get over you big girl’s blouse.
I think Hague is finished. Probably a relief all round if he does go; even his admirers have been disappointed with his performance at the FO.
A ‘technical’ is an armed pick-up truck rather than the person in it. That person may or may not be a mercenary. In Somalia, for instance, they generally aren’t, although they may be adventurers out for a bit of religiously-encouraged ‘sport’ with the locals. During Gaddafi’s last military defeat in the ‘Toyota War’ they weren’t mercenaries but Chadian irregulars.
I hated the agony of it all in that maternity room, the wife with her legs wide open, blood everywhere and screaming at the top of voice, things like..
“You bastard, you’ve put this inside me! Don’t come near me again!”
It went on for fucking ages before the midwife put an end to it all,
“Billy Bowden, I think it’s time you took your cock out and let the baby come!”
According to a London midwife I spoke to a few years ago this actually happens in the case of mothers arriving from the Dark Continent at West London NHS hospitals to sprog (and up until recently, in passing Go also collect the Brit passport) . She said they have to leave a nurse with them at all times to stop the (presumably) life partner from exercising his conjugal rights both immediately before and after delivery. One kids one not.
All part of the rich, multicultural diversity you’ve been brainwashed to celebrate.
Certainly diverse.
Oh, can I watch? I’ll take some pictures if you want…
the problem with the Tories is that they want to eat the chicken but no one is prepared to snap its neck
They could just get one from Tesco.
Actually, most if not all of them prefer cock…
Today i will buy Order-Order.
Too late Murdoch and chums own it.
Billy saying there was a “serious misunderstanding” about the ‘diplomatic team’s’ role.
Laughter all round.
Well, he’s constrained in what he can say. “A complete fuck-up” probably isn’t regarded as parliamentary language, even if it is technically correct.
It’s times like this that really do beg questions of the so called government and elites. They really do prove how bloody useless they are. Shrouded in secrecy comments appear from all directions, all un-named and all unccountable to us – the paying public. Why we continue to bother with them I do not know. We do know they are all charlatons and thieves – WE SHOULD HOLD THEM ALL TO ACCOUNT NOW – then hang them
if there’s something wrong with this view I would like to know it – I am fed up being continually modded for no good reason
Count your blessings. At least you don’t get sockpuppeted – or maybe your sockpuppet is being modded as well.
Its the letters P-E-A that is modded.
Hey, what about the idea muted that that Bank of Scotland and Loyds banks (and include Northern Crock) should give the public a free share issue, seeing we have all bailed them out, there seems to be a lot of confusion as to the definition between a private company a public company and a quasi nationalised company, won’t hold my breath, stakeholders? whatever happened to that sound bite?… heads we win, tails you lose.
o/t
Ed and Yvette face probe after claiming more than £14,000 travel expenses for their children
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1363568/Ed-Balls-Yvette-Cooper-face-probe-claiming-14-000-travel-expenses-children.html
This is not important. We will not be making any mention of it.
Ed, I see you’ve dropped another rickett on doubling up expenses with Yvette.
I mean come of it Ed, 375 travel claims for children, over 3 years. I mean do they live in one house or 3?
The Daily Mail will be all over this like a rash
Signed
Ed
Does anyone take David Cameron seriously ???
He’s heading for a bruising at this week’s PMQ’s from the party opposite
Who needs Andy Coulson ? The Big Society is going from strength to strength.
Hague and Warsi are in the Cabinet to provide a modicum of comic relief and make the rest look capable in comparison to their incompetence.
I just wanted to impress Dave – he’s been ignoring me for a while since Nick started making eyes at him…
Nothing in his diary between the 4th and the 11th March. Mmmm!
Velly interlesting , what !
Of course I blame you Guido for the state Hague is in. Hague hasn’t been the same since you revealed he liked to pop into a Travelodge for a bit of, ‘inflate ‘yer mate’ or ‘puff up ‘yer pal’