February 21st, 2011

The Gordon of Student Politics

Guido’s student politics days are long behind him, but sometimes there is BS too good not to call out. A Labour hack to the core, NUS President Aaron Porter has announced he will not be seeking re-election less than 24 hours after his complete re-election plans were leaked, and subsequently shredded. He claims he was confident he would have won the April ballot, yet decided he won’t be running citing hard left bullying. Where have we heard the one about flunking “an election because he thought he was going to win it” before?

Instead of going with grace and dignity after a student was sent to prison for  nearly killing a policeman on a march that was poorly planned by Porter he shirked responsibility. Subsequently humiliated to the point of being taken into police protection from a crowd of students he later smeared as anti-Semites. The makings of a true Labour politician. So while Porter waltzes off into management consultancy or the like, hopefully we will see the NUS rightfully taken back by the loony-left and used as a mouthpiece for their bonkers plans.


189 Comments

  1. 1
    Cake Thief says:

    As a rather naive person I have to ask this question. Porter has completely screwed it so who would actualy employ him? If anybody can answer this please do.

  2. 2
    The Labour Party says:

    erm….

  3. 3
    BBC Controller says:

    We think he’s splendid!

    A six figure salary awaits

  4. 4
    Clare Solomon says:

    We’ve got our union back.

  5. 5
    Grauniad says:

    Oh, absolutely – we’ll happily take his column

  6. 6

    ‘OMG, THEY’RE BOTH LABOUR AND THEY BOTH CALLED OFF ELECTIONS!!!1!’

    Political analysis at its most profound . . . Grow up, Guido

  7. 7
    Gordon says:

    Today I will be mostly using the Labour Potty

  8. 8
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Sour grapes, or what.

    They’re better off without him.

  9. 9
    Don't like Porter, really I don't says:

    Not that I wish to defend Mr Porter, I think a crowd of lovely labour lefties shouting to Porter that he is “a Tory Jew” is a bit antisemitic. This was at Manchester uni.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    f’uck off back to the shopfloor you stupid union c’unt.

  11. 11
    Bully Boy Balls says:

    ‘ Hard left bullying’ ??? Step outside and say that !

  12. 12
    Ed Miliballs says:

    This blog is fun whereas your blog is shite. Try harder.

  13. 13
    Kooeeee says:

    He has what you would call, people attraction,people like to listen to him and when he gets them into trouble he runs and they follow to discuss his actions and their reactions in having to pay a load of cash out to lawyers, great for people being employed in sales and politics,people attraction.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    I love that this is filed under Twat Watch.

    A most accurate categorisation.

  15. 15
    Fancy a Flutter says:

    Guido, you’re a gambling man.

    My prediction is that Porter is about to become a SPAd, and then a Labour candidate in a safe seat at the next General Election.

    What say a bottle of Glenmorangie on it?

    Polling day 2015 (or whenever)?

  16. 16
    P. Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    Ooooh and so would I.

  17. 17
    Kooeeee says:

    Heel boy!

  18. 18
    Bidisha says:

    Bigot!

  19. 19
    stupid union c'unt says:

    don’t be daft!

    We only send east europeans dahn there, mate

    We do the conferences and tea breaks – they do the work, innit

  20. 20
    Silly Sally Bigcow says:

    Perhaps I should go down the SpAd root.

  21. 21
    Bert Plumber says:

    Spigot!

  22. 22
    Ken Lorp says:

    I expect he’ll be parachuted into a safe seat – maybe Kirkcaldy?

  23. 23
    Lee says:

    Clare this statement is only true should your candidate win the election in April…if someone else wins are you going to badger them till they decide its not worth it. And credit to Aaron he has put a lot of years into this movement its a shame he is leaving like this because of a small number of extreamists

  24. 24
    Kooeeee says:

    Today you will be reading your wife’s new book aloud, altogether now, The cat sat on the mat.

  25. 25
    Fancy a Flutter says:

    You’d be more likely to go down on a SPAd’s root …

  26. 26

    There will be plenty of quangos with Labour appointed Chair persons, or PR companies anxious to get a foot in the door with a new government after Cameron loses the next election.

  27. 27
    Weygand says:

    So is he leaving in humiliation or waltzing into management consultancy?

    Having achieved a public profile, I would guess that he is intelligent enough to know that it is time to cash in while his stock is high.

    He may send Guido a bottle of something by ways of thank for his own contribution to the process.

  28. 28
    United we fall divided we fall oh well says:

    extreamists ,hmm , welcome to the society of windowlickers, pedants are available if you wish to review your spelling.

  29. 29

    You just wait until I’m appointed NUS President Guido you capitalist mouthpiece. THINGS WILL CHANGE.

    The Labourites have ran our great NUS into the ground, only a Socialist Workers’ Party Candidate like me can take the NUS to new heights where it’ll be respected by all students.

    Down with Porter. Long live the NUS Revolution!

  30. 30
    Tiger Woods says:

    Divot

  31. 31
    Aaron Porter says:

    You tried to bring me down Guido, but I chose the manner and timing of my leaving. I’m sure that annoys you intensly. Whether I shall go on to future sucess is in the lap of the Gods, but knowing it will grate on you so much acts as a major career incentive.

  32. 32
    Mrs F. Merritt says:

    Are the Unions giving you money to display the No2AV adverts on this blog?

    I heard the so-called hard left is partially funding this campaign. You might be biting the hand that feeds you.

  33. 33

    The capitalist swines deserve all they get.

    IF I’M APPOINTED PRESIDENT BY NUS DELEGATES THE NUS WILL NO LONGER SUPPORT ITS CAPITALIST GRADUATE TAX. IT WILL DEMAND FREE EDUCATION FOR ALL.

    WE’LL DEMAND THAT THE CAPITALIST GOVERNMENT AND ITS TORY SWINES PAY FOR IT BY RAISING THE TOP RATE OF INCOME TAX. 50P IN THE POUND IS TOO GENEROUS FOR THOSE SWINES. 70P IS MORE LIKE IT.

  34. 34
    Um Bongo says:

    What a load of old shite.

  35. 35
    smoggie says:

    He can’t count that high. He’s just a student.

  36. 36
    Um Bongo says:

    Are you for real?

  37. 37
    Gerry Mandering says:

    Now he’s going the number is even smaller.

  38. 38

    But that was spin. They were shouting Tory Too as the audio that emerged proved:

    http://www.harrycole.net/2011/02/aaron-porter-we-know-you-there-is-no.html

  39. 39

    Oh be silent you capitalist mouthpiece. You’re not running because you know I would have beaten you. I’m sick of you going around talking about your “so-called” graduate tax. FREE EDUCATION IS THE ANSWER.

  40. 40
    Um Bongo says:

    Take them away from a group wank at the Grauniad and they go native.

  41. 41
    smoggie says:

    Another fucker who can’t read the sign above the door. Political analysis at its most profound if you please.

  42. 42
    Spinner says:

    Pivot.

  43. 43

    I didn’t avoid the question. I answered it: “THE CAPITALIST SWINES DESERVE ALL THEY GET”.

    YES IT’S FAIR. WHY IS IT NOT FAIR? THE WORKERS NEED EDUCATING, IF THE RICH REFUSE, THEY’RE DECLARING WAR.

  44. 44
    smoggie says:

    The eternal student has her union back. Now for the top job.

  45. 45
    smoggie says:

    Has you-know-who been sent to the naughty step? It’s awfully civilised here at the mo.

  46. 46
    Spinner says:

    Free education doesn’t exist. Somebody has to pay the teachers and provide the buildings.

  47. 47
    smoggie says:

    “success” mate. So you won’t be going into publishing then?

  48. 48
    Steve Miliband says:

    It’s called pay per click advertising.
    Following your logic GF wears Saville Row shirts and buys Mrs F flowers everyday

  49. 49
  50. 50
    Gordon Brown says:

    Last night I was out on Hampstead Heath.

    It certainly opened my eye.

  51. 51

    THE CAPITALISTS DON’T WANT JOBS FOR WORKERS, THEY WANT MONEY FOR THEM AND THEIR TORY BUDDIES. DELEGATES APPOINT ME YOUR LEADER AND I WILL MAKE YOU, THE WORKER, RICH. NOT THE CAPITALIST SWINES.

    NUS IS POWER. EDUCATION IS POWER.

  52. 52

    NO. FREE EDUCATION. FREE EDUCATION. GIVE US IT OR WE’LL SMASH UP CCHQ AGAIN.

  53. 53
    Mancunian says:

    Arse Hole !

  54. 54
    Anna Tolia says:

    Caps Lock alert!!!

  55. 55

    Typical socialist airhead – he doesn’t care what it costs, as long as he’s not paying.

    What do you study Mark? Media studies? Political studies? European studies? Am I close?

  56. 56
    Um Bongo says:

    Is your keyboard knackered?

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    So you are taking Union money.

  58. 58
    Just saying like says:

    Said the man with the shit blog and tumbleweed blowing through his comments section!

  59. 59

    MY KEYBOARD IS BROKEN BECAUSE IT WAS PRODUCED BY THE SLAVES OF THE CAPITALISTS WHO DID NOT CARE FOR QUALITY ONLY PROFIT.

    LONG LIVE NUS-REVOLUTION! VOTE BERGFIELD!

  60. 60
    smoggie says:

    Oh, here’s me thinking it was coz you were typing with your knuckles.

  61. 61
    Gordon Brown says:

    if i eat a coconut shell, will it hurt my bottom hole when it comes out?

  62. 62
    Engineer says:

    There is nothing to stop anybody who wants an education getting one. Unfortunately, quality of education seems to vary from excellent to grossly inadequate, and that problem needs solving. Also, it all has to be paid for, and as a taxpayer, I want to see value for money. I don’t mind if the education system is turning out a high proportion of motivated, well-qualified young people bursting with enthusiasm to contribute to the well-being and prosperity of the nation, but being asked to pay for a system that turns out too many ill-educated, unmotivated louts sticks in my craw.

  63. 63

    I had a video exclusive. The late night commenter himself, tap tap tatting at his keyboard. But it won’t upload. |s there another video maker except winMv ?

  64. 64
    Just saying like says:

    If you have had a free eduacation then how the fuck can complete idiots like yourself ask for a refund? think about it!

  65. 65
    Tony Blair War Criminal, Liar and Crook says:

    So here we have Blair being a crook again

    And our old friend Lord Levy influencing peddling again…

    They should both be in Court…

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1358425/Bernie-Ecclestone-Tony-Blairs-behaviour-rate-played-crooked-hand.html

  66. 66
    Mulberry's Harbour says:

    Are you for real or are you TaT?

    Caps lock is on the left hand side. Many thanks.

  67. 67
    smoggie says:

    Ask again after he’s had his education.

  68. 68
    oh well tea time says:

    You really need to calm down and stop being angry, you will end up with a heart attack and please stop shouting, your welcome here to state you case, if you voted Labour in 1997 then since then you have agreed by vote, in your name to the “Graduate tax”,it was Labour who pulled up the ladders to free education, they started off with the comprehensives equality for all but the brainy, turned quality colleges into “universitys” for the masses,one day I do hope you become a Capitalist and end up being the first one to take flight to avoid the your 70% tax,get a grip and get a life before you harm yourself.

  69. 69
    Woeful Warsi says:

    The boy will go a long way in mainstream politics. Unlike you Guido. Envy isnt a nice trait…. Now go back to Dave’s knob !!!!!

  70. 70
    Woeful Warsi says:

    errrr

    The boy will go a long way in mainstream politics. Unlike you Guido. Envy isnt a nice trait…. Now go back to Dave’s knob !!!!!

  71. 71
    smoggieski says:

    Bill, next time you pour salt on your chips, think whence it came Comrade?

  72. 72
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    You’re *still* banging on about the student and the fire extinguisher?

    Private Eye put it best:

    “32 months in jail for the student protester who could have killed a police officer (but didn’t) when the threw a fire extinguisher

    0 months in jail for the police officer for striking and pushing Ian Tomlinson which could have killed him at a protest (and probably did.)”

    Move on. Start concentrating on real issues. This country is royally screwed because of the greedy half wits in office (and previously). Attack them. Please.

  73. 73
    I'll have some of that says:

    roflmao!

  74. 74
    Eeu to me says:

    LOL.

  75. 75
    smoggie says:

    Or even Benghazi, help continue the people’s revolution.

  76. 76
    jgm2 says:

    I think this Mark chap is just wind you up. Nobody could possibly be that stupid and find his way to a keyboard.

  77. 77

    Labour’s attacks on the previous page were clearly co-ordinated. Even so, with all the advantage of surprise on their side, they cannot present a sound case on anything, especially if it has to do with money.

  78. 78

    Just reading the Lisbon treaty part of Rawnsley’s book.

    Seems that TB only agreed to a referendum on EU constitution at all because of Brown’s anti-Eu politicking amongst dissatisfied Labour MPs.

    But Jack Straw agreed.
    “As long as we agree to a referendum it will get us through the Euro elections and the general election of ’05.”

    As Blair commented to Straw,. “You’re a devious politician Jack. But you’re such an obviously devious politician.”

    The idea was never to actually have a referendum. Just to silence the ‘giving away power’ critics within the Labour party and the Murdoch press.

    As Straw himself said..”It was a stupid treaty. Full of all sorts of power grabbing crap.”

  79. 79
    Eeu to me says:

    As windups go this one is at least 9 out of 10, Claps loudly

  80. 80
    Steve Miliband says:

    Nothing to do with me. I am not GF, I am Steve Miliband, the talented Miliband with a string of hit records. Abracadabra – you know the one – ‘you heat me up, I can’t cool down…’

  81. 81

    I believe the argument is that someone called ‘Fatcher’ has ..um..’Done It.”

  82. 82
    Gordon Brown says:

    Blue Labour, what colour budgie should I buy?

  83. 83
    Engineer says:

    You could be right, jg, but given standards of education in some places these days….

  84. 84
    jgm2 says:

    What about free food? We should all have free, state provided food Mark. And free housing. Without food and housing you wouldn’t live long enough to go to school.

    Get your priorities right Mark.

    Free education? Fucking bourgeois luxury.

    You have no idea how the poor live. Frozen meals and damp homes. Fre food for the workers. And fre houses.

    And free Lear Jets.

  85. 85

    Not very democratic are they? The Unions.

    What they want is the one man one hundred votes, union block vote of old.

  86. 86
    Ed² says:

    They have to clear it with us first

  87. 87
    jgm2 says:

    Shove it up your arse and see.

  88. 88
    Catflap says:

    Is Aaron Porter a student?
    To be honest he looks old enough to be my dad.
    Fucking square.

  89. 89
    Richard Gere says:

    Free Tibet

  90. 90
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    brilliant – lets hope that foghorn eternal student femal idiot takes over – she’ll do *loads* of good for the cause!

  91. 91
    Billy Bragg says:

    I will show solidarity with this SWP candidate by turning up at rally and singing a preachy song about Thatcher in a fake cockney accent and wearing a Palestinian cravat thing.

    Then I will be driven home to the palace I bought with all the money I made out of socialism.

    Free Tommy Sheridan! Up the NUS!

    *does socialist fist thing*

  92. 92
    Mike Hunt says:

    They just go to the magic money tree.

  93. 93

    You @ Cummings vs Handycock Guido?

    (Is open to the public and am court report on BBC South Today

    Enjoy your Guiness!

  94. 94
    Catflap says:

    I wonder if NUS reps sit round the common room bemoaning the fact coppers these days look younger than them?

  95. 95
    Aaron Porter says:

    “We’ve brought the coalition to its knees”

    Must be the best joke that Dave’s heard in ages.

    http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/the-staggers/2011/02/nus-president-student-porter

  96. 96
    Mike Hunt says:

    No, sadly completely believable.

  97. 97
    smoggie says:

    It’s defo a windup. And you have to play the game.

  98. 98
    Polly Toynbee says:

    This site wants a final solution for the loony left.

  99. 99
    Ed Miliballs says:

    Parachuted without the parachute one hopes.

  100. 100
    Eva Braun-Cooper says:

    The only time you get hard is when I dress up as Himmler.

  101. 101
    jgm2 says:

    Yeah, probably best to check it with your blank sheet of paper so that you’re all ‘on-message’.

  102. 102
    Peter Mandleslime says:

    Free Willy.

  103. 103
    Catflap says:

    “You’re a devious little C**t jack but I hate a smart arse.”
    Cattle prod and carrier bag over the head then follows.
    If only.

  104. 104
    smoggie says:

    One is minded of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven

    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
    Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
    While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping…

  105. 105
    streamfisher says:

    From an ‘Offshore’ Guardian employee.

  106. 106
    smoggie says:

    Just don’t eat chicken bones. We had a Spaniel who loved to chew them, but by Christ, the lad paid a painful price the next day.

  107. 107
    smoggie says:

    He looks like a fifties contemporary of Dirk Bogard in Doctor at Large.

  108. 108
    jgm2 says:

    Naaah. Probably had a moment of clarity and realised what an utter mental case he looks to the rest of the world and slunk off in shame.

    It’s happened before.

  109. 109
    solopolis says:

    Capitalist Swine? You mean the poor bastards that pay Union subs in order to enrich the likes of Simpson, Woodley, et al.?

    You are a pillock of the highest order. Socialism works only for those at the top. Everyone is kept in their place in order to be cannon fodder for the likes of the National Executive and the other dacha-living nomenklatura.

  110. 110
    Not a member of the NUS and never will be. says:

    Ha ha ha. The idiot thinks he & the great unwashed brought ‘the Coalition to its knees’?? Yeah crumpled up with laughter.
    These poorly educated little dorks fail to recognise that Labour played a major role in crippling our economy.

  111. 111
    solopolis says:

    Definitely studied something that did not involve getting his hands dirty.

    I’m thinking he has a solitary GCSE. In bedwetting and boxticking.

  112. 112
    jgm2 says:

    Poor old Clare. Her dad a Military Policeman. Desperately right-wing, middle-class up-bringing and perpetually trying to overcome the fact that she’s basically one of life’s liggers.

    Another lefty jackass. A Toynbee or Harman clone.

  113. 113
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.

    Winston S. Churchill

  114. 114
    jgm2 says:

    Hahahaha. Did he really say that? Brought the coalition to its knees? By ‘brought the coalition to it’s knees’ he presumably means students won’t soon be paying 9K a year for their till receipt degrees.

    Unless he’s claiming the forestry sell-off U-turn as an NUS victory.

  115. 115

    WINDUP? WHEN THE REVOLUTION COMES YOU’LL ALL BE SORRY THAT YOU SAID THAT.

    FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER http://twitter.com/#!/mdbergfeld. I SHOW THE LIES OF THE CAPITALISTS AND THE LIES OF THAT SCUM PORTER EVER DAY.

    ALSO DID I VOTE LABOUR BACK IN 1997? GET REAL MATE. I WAS 10. THE CAPITALISTS WERE BRAINWASHING ME INTO A SENSE OF FALSE CLASS CONSCIOUSNESS BY MAKING ME GO ON TRIPS IN DADDY’S YOUGHT EVERY DAY.

  116. 116
    streamfisher says:

    Students never looked like that in my day, apparently he’s only 25, I recommend he sees a consultant that specialises in rapid ageing diseases.

  117. 117
    solopolis says:

    Porter couldn’t bring a tuppeny whore to its knees.

  118. 118
    Wes Sesame Streeting, muppets stunt double. says:

    bring on the revelushion.

  119. 119
    Eeu to me says:

    Spelling little one, caps lock and threats,never maketh the man.

  120. 120
    Jim Keltner says:

    You’re certainly a joker.

  121. 121
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    If you think back hard enough you’ll probably find you already have.

  122. 122
    oh my my says:

    Then came a rapping,
    and TwAT was at the bleedin door,
    well I nearly fell to the floor,
    I looked at my dog when
    TwAT said he had a blog
    their’s me smoggie no door.

  123. 123
    solopolis says:

    Get a pie flavoured one and set if free in the same room as Prescott.

    My money is on Lord Lard.

  124. 124
    solopolis says:

    Didn’t that there fella Wilson steal the milk from secondary school kids?

  125. 125
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Dear me, what a rant.

    Take some deep breaths and relax. It is only a blog….!

  126. 126
    Smig says:

    I scrawled “fuck off you homos” on it in tippex. The gimp still hasn’t seen it.

  127. 127
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Well, then you shouldn’t have any trouble getting another job, should you.

    Oh – and if you think we care – think again.

  128. 128
    Tardkiller says:

    Ian Tomlinson was a drunken, homeless, sot, the local paramedics and Transport police who knew him (thanks to his ongoing records and run-ins) was about to die due to drink.

    his family didn’t give a shit and the transport police had a book running as to when he was going to fall over and die.

    he was constantly getting kicked out stations and wasn’t any part of the protests.

  129. 129
    Woeful Warsi says:

    Dave: Today I am announcing 100% privatisation of everything, I’d like to stop and take your questions about this policy, which wasn’t in our manifesto, but my new BBC spinster has advised me to always do a runner to a foreign country after making such broadcasts errrrr a bit like Blair used to.

  130. 130
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Folks who don’t want to pay can always move to Scotland. I’ve heard it’s freee there.

  131. 131
    Woeful Warsi says:

    Blocked again

    Dave: Today I am announcing 100% privatisation of everything, I’d like to stop and take your questions about this policy, which wasn’t in our manifesto, but my new BBC spinster has advised me to always do a runner to a foreign country after making such broadcasts errrrr a bit like Blair used to.

  132. 132
    billy the bumbiter says:

    “fist thing” – I could definitely get behind that

  133. 133

    Just did some research on Jordan Newell, the Mackerel Boy of an hour or so ago, and, sure enough, he is the PPC for Colchester.

    In this article, http://ashleyrudge.co.uk/?p=60 ,he has signed up to the NUS General Election Pledge and states “I don’t agree with putting arbatory figures on pariticpation”. Pity he, or his reporter, have not been educated to the level of being able to spell English properly.

    Here is a picture of the person who can tell us in detail how banking should be organised:

    http://tinyurl.com/4o3ntpo

    Reminds me of someone saying, “I shall be talking truth to financial power.”

    He used to be Colchester’s next MP.

  134. 134

    “… wot done it”, Bill. Keep the standards down, purleeeeze.

  135. 135
    Carey in a wheelchair with jogger's nipples says:

    Oh God student! Why don’t they go for a jog & then jump off the end of a pier? They’re sad & confused idiots. Pretentious idealists to the point of complete stupidity. They think the economy should revolve around them & we should just accept that. Twats.

  136. 136
    billy the bumbiter says:

    “Dirk Bogarde” – I’m still in love with him

  137. 137
    Listening in from Bentley Priory and waiting to take off says:

    When this happens does he get away from his minders?

  138. 138

    “Politics is just show business for ugly people” seems more than appropriate here.

  139. 139
    Double ender says:

    The complete works of the people poet:

    CLIFF

    (from Demolition)

    Oh, Cliff
    Sometimes it must be difficult not to feel as if
    You really are a Cliff
    When fascists keep trying to push you over it
    Are they the lemmings?
    Or are you Cliff?
    Or are you, Cliff?

    (from Demolition)

    What are you doing, Neil?
    To make a meal, Neil? (it’s surreal)
    From totalitarian vegetables.
    How much does it cost, Neil…?
    HOUSE

    (from Demolition)

    House, house, house
    Oh, you are made of stone
    But you are not alone-
    -ly house!
    POLLUTION

    (from Bomb)

    [First, an extreme close-up of Rick squeezing a spot/boil/pimple]
    Pollution
    All around
    Sometimes up
    And sometimes down
    But always around.
    Pollution, are you coming to my town?
    Or am I coming to yours?
    We’re on different buses, pollution
    But we’re both using petrol.
    FREE-FORM

    (from Flood)

    Marrow
    Meringue
    Boomerang
    Long, blue boomerang…
    THE PEOPLE’S POEM

    (from Flood)

    What do you think you’re doing, pig?
    Do you really give a fig, pig?
    And what’s your favourite sort of gig, pig?
    Barry Manilow
    Or the black and white minstrel show?

    (from Sick)

    Oh Neil!
    Neil!
    Orange peel!
    RICK’S TEEN ANGUISH POEM

    (from Bachelor Boys: The Young Ones Book)

    oh god,
    why
    am I so much more sensitive than everybody else ?
    why
    do I feel things so much more acutely than them,
    and understand so much more.
    I bet I’m the first person who’s ever felt as rotten as this.
    could it be
    that I’m going to grow up
    to be a great poet and thinker, and all those other wankers in my
    class are going to have to work in factories or go on the dole?
    yes, I think it could.

    RICK’S TROTSKY POEM

    (from Bachelor Boys:The Young Ones Book)

    Today, I saw a dog,
    Yes, a dog.
    Talking to a pig,
    Yes, a pig.
    They were on the pavement,
    Discussing Trotsky.
    Not brotsky or crotsky or drotsky or frotsky.
    But Trotsky.

  140. 140
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    We all know about Tone, Lord Levy and Bernie, but there isn’t enough evidence to prosecute ‘em.

  141. 141
    Life is just a dream until the bill arrives says:

    But but manifesto’s don’t count,a court has said they are dream’s ,remember when Brown was taken to court over a dream that 70% of the people of this country has,a Euro referendum,100% privatisation of zero is still zero, it’s all in pfi hock or was sold off or Liebour privatised it by contracting it out, like the goverments IT,who really cares where a person is these days the t’internet and wifi are available in most places except where the exchanges are on fire or the armies are using as target practice.

  142. 142
    Ed Spherical says:

    So Weak

  143. 143
    Ed Spherical says:

    Daddy’s Yoghurt? Now that does sound nasty.

  144. 144
    A really daft twat in a wheelchair says:

    The students are fantastic role models and the best individual thinkers of our time. They are worth every penny and more.

  145. 145
    PD77 says:

    I think all Socialists should be fisted.

  146. 146
    Anonymous says:

    Manchester uni. Lots of mozzies.

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    What did that police officers right hand think it was getting hold of?

  148. 148
    The following statement is not true says:

    Following the resignation of NUS president Aaron Porter, fellow student activist Clare Solomon has announced she is also standing down to allow her to devote more of her time to completing her studies.
    Ms Solomon (37) said ” I have put my studies on the back burner for the past few years but it is now time for me to get my head down and actually finish my degree which when you think about it is the whole point of being a student anyway. I appreciate that the tax payer finances my education and I would be doing them a disservice if I didn’t work hard and pass my exams as soon as possible. Once I achieve that I could use my degree to get a job and hopefully re pay Society for the opportunities which my time at University provided me with”

    …….then of course I woke up and realised it was all a dream

  149. 149
    speak for england says:

    Floppy Dave is the biggest joke that dave’s heard in ages.

    Good to see a true conservative sticking it to davetwat and all his public school bumboys and arsebandits in today’s Telegraph.

    What the fuck is davetwat doing in Egypt – maybe he literally is the heir to blair?

  150. 150
    billy the bumbiter says:

    me too – I’m not fussy. Just as long as they’re young and available.

  151. 151
    our political class is the best in the world says:

    “on the campaign trail with Sally Bercow”.

    he may be fucking stupid, but you’ve got to admire his bravery.

    Presumably the reason his hair looks like that is that the picture was taken shortly after Sal spat him out.

  152. 152
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    Wore lovely white sØx…

  153. 153
    IanC says:

    Looking at your photo, the old Private Eye caption ‘Ifeel a right tit’ comes to mind

  154. 154
    HappyUK says:

    The sad thing is that Porter is a reasonably bright and capable guy. Had he admitted he fucked up on this one he would have garnered infinitely more respect and increased his chances of re-election.

    Everyone is painfully aware of having made stupid mistakes in their lives and people would have readily empathized.

    Clearly brains and energy are not enough to be a good leader – a little humility goes a long way too.

  155. 155
    Clare Solomon says:

    I am hoping to finish my degree just in time to claim my state pension.

  156. 156
    Willsteed says:

    WTF is it with the fag gelling up his hair?

    Talk about pathetic.

  157. 157
    Manchester University Statements says:

    You should some of the candidates banners/manifestos trying to get into UMSU office positions

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    Question for u tube:- Given your non existant Ministerial experience and limited Government experience do you find it in any way difficult offering advice to senior middle east politicians?

  159. 159
    Platinumberg says:

    Mossad.
    Oh oops, goes without saying …(…Sayanim)

  160. 160
    Jenny Taylier says:

    Free Nelson Mand…. oh, sorry.

  161. 161
    Anonymous says:

    The transport police would say that wouldn’t they?

  162. 162
    The REAL Ed Balls says:

    So what

  163. 163
    Susie says:

    Piggot!

    (One of the prefects at my public school).

  164. 164
    Joss Ackland's spunky backpack says:

    There were anti-semitic slogans being shouted, sorry if that doesn’t fit in with your reductionist tabloid-esque ‘story’

  165. 165
    Susie says:

    +++FASHION TIP CENTRAL+++

    It’s a keffiyeh… that Palestinian cravat thing. You can get them in red, black or green checks.

  166. 166
    Susie says:

    My dog used to eat plastic bags, not so painful, but dead embarrassing for me with the dog walking round with a plastic bag hanging out of his arse after a shit.

    Dogs eh… don’t you just love ‘em.

  167. 167
    Susie says:

    If there is a God, please spare us Sweaty Betty on Newsnight in her levvers, fresh from the barricades… I just can’t take another round.

  168. 168
    Mal Area says:

    So just get the spray out then.

  169. 169
    Jockey Forposition says:

    So, Susie, you woz at Lester as well!

  170. 170
    Jockey Forposition says:

    Clearly the unsweetened variety. Can’t wait until he’s made everyone so rich they all have to pay his preferred 70%. Bergfeld the Brainless – our new Presidential wannabee.

  171. 171
    Jockey Forposition says:

    Looks more like my kitche curtains to be honest.

  172. 172
    Jockey Forposition says:

    The more money people take from the unions the better if you ask me.

  173. 173
    Jockey Forposition says:

    That is the most evolved dog in the history of canines – comes with a built-in shit catcher. Fabulous, you should patent the idea love,

  174. 174
    PC Cashier (retd) says:

    Just checking he had his wallet so he could pay the fine, Sir.

  175. 175
    Jimmy says:

    “Guido’s student politics days are long behind him,”

    Keep telling yourself that.

  176. 176
    Archie says:

    With spelling like that you must be a student!

  177. 177
    Archie says:

    Yeah! The world will really sit up and take notice of you and your pathetic shower-of-shit cohorts!

  178. 178
    Sapailo says:

    Or a lecturer..

  179. 179
    Sally the Trannie says:

    Looks like Sal has been sitting on his face while giving him a good fisting.

  180. 180
    ron Vibentrop says:

    Why doesn’t he just re-cycle his foreskin and go for a place on The Apprentice

  181. 181
    Mr Bimmler says:

    Did I hear someone say that work makes you free

  182. 182
    You know what they say about me with big societies... says:

    Are YOU for real?

  183. 183
    You know what they say about me with big societies... says:

    He linked a video proving beyond reasonable doubt that there were no anti-Semitic slogans being shouted, it was bullshit from the Daily Mail followed by a copycat story in the Telegraph.

  184. 184
    You know what they say about me with big societies... says:

    Or head to the NL. 2000euros a year, great universities (Lijden, Amsterdam, Utrecht) most of the courses are in English and it’s just across the channel.

  185. 185
    You know what they say about me with big societies... says:

    Actually last time I checked, the Tories were the least economically literate of the 3. Although that said they’re all still clinging onto neoclassical economics which the GED has shown to be bullshit.

  186. 186
    You know what they say about me with big societies... says:

    And that of course makes manslaughter completely justified. Any discussion of Tomlinson’s character is completely peripheral to the debate. You can go out and say what you are clearly implying here “he deserved it” but it does not absolve the officer of his actions.

  187. 187
    You know what they say about me with big societies... says:

    Your English. Fucking sort it out.

  188. 188
    You know what they say about me with big societies... says:

    There’s a song called:

    “Indie kids wear keffiyehs but can’t spell PLO”

  189. 189
    You know what they say about me with big societies... says:

    Orlly? What’s this then? http://www.wisdom.weizmann.ac.il/~yakov/Geometry/


Seen Elsewhere

Stop May Pact | Times
Wake Up Call For Capitalists | CapX
Guido’s Column | Sun
Dave Hoaxer High on Coke and Weed | Sun
Let’s Help the Kurds Fight | Boris
Split the Left | Tim Montgomerie
Liz Kendall For Leader | Indy
Bashir Booted Out By Respect | Respect
Americans Try Haggis | Guardian
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Steven Woolfe For UKIP Leader? | Asa Bennett


Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


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