February 21st, 2011

Telegraph Totty Tossed Out

There has been a notable absence in the Telegraph newsroom recently. Many a hack has pondered what happened to the editor’s secretary cum beauty columnist Jane Cullen. Not only has she disappeared but apparently her desk has gone too. Jane’s vanishing act coincided with the hunt for the source of the Cable-gate tape leak, including his infamous “war on Murdoch” rant, to Robert Peston.

While Rob Winnett was suspected after vocally challenging the paper not revealing the whole story, what a coincidence that Jane was also secretary to the previous editor, and Peston’s mate, thirsty Will Lewis. Guido has noted Lewis and Peston’s mutually beneficial friendship before…

UPDATE : Other Telegraph sources insist it was a regular reorganisation redundancy.


  1. 1

    Next up: Bryony Gordon.

  2. 3
    Tardkiller says:

    hey, whatever happened to the lib dem scandal at the weekend ..?

    was a D notice slapped on it or was it bollocks ..?

  3. 4
    Moley says:

    Sorry its off topic, but;

    Now that Libya is in turmoil and Gadaffi is attempting to massacre everyone who disagrees with him, would Blair, Mandelson and Brown like to comment on the likelihood of those BP contracts, (which cost this country its international reputation), being honoured?

    BP and Gadaffi would have done well to listen more carefully to those who suggested that Brown was a universal harbinger of doom to everyone who met him.

    • 11
      Anonymous says:

      Libya still has to sell its’ oil, which means dealing with western oil companies.

      • 18
        Guido knows my ISP says:

        Catherine Ashton is a bloody disgrace to the UK, how long do we have to suffer her?

        • 79
          Up sh1t creek says:

          We have to put up with Ashton until we can vote her out. Oh wait, in the European “democracy” we can’t actually vote her out. Oh well, looks like we’re stuck with the ugly brainless cow.

          • Primrose Hill Marxist says:

            Well then hopefully Ashton will develop some terrible disease. I would wish face cancer on her but from what I’ve seen, she already has it.

          • annnnonyperson says:

            Yeah, but if we quit Europe, we can leave her behind, if they like!

        • 335
          Archie says:

          You mean bleedin’ “Kaffee”?

    • 13
      Blair Mandelson Brown Inc says:

      NO, NO, NO

    • 57
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Let’s see what great deal b@stard Peter Mandelbum made for the UK… Will Cameron agree to this deal, of course he will, anything to screw the British into the ground while claiming he’s doing something about immigration.


      The UK is set to welcome 20,000 extra Indian workers a year due to a secretive trade deal brokered by the European Union.

      Britain will accept thousands of skilled workers in exchange for lucrative export deals, even though the public sector are cutting jobs and unemployment stands at 2.5million.

      The EU India Free Trade Agreement was initiated by Former Trade Commissioner Lord Mandelson in 2007 and is expected to be signed by the middle of this year.

      Under the agreement European countries will grant India between 35,000 and 50,000 visas in return for £4billion worth of trade.

      However, sources have revealed that India are demanding up to 20,000 of them should be provided by the UK, with only 7,000 asked of Germany and 3,000 expected from France. Meanwhile Estonia is expected to accept just 19 individuals.

      The 20,000 will not count towards the Coalition’s pledge to cap net immigration at ‘tens of thousands.’

      • 212
        speak for england says:

        Dave’s trying to head them off at the Suez Canal.

        He’s taking this very seriously. (And so are all his boarding school bumboys and cocksuckers).

        • 312
          annnnonyperson says:

          Charlie Welan went to a posh private school. Do you know something about Charlie that we don’t. Go on- tell us.

    • 58
      A Pensioner says:

      How long before the mob finds all the correspondence with Bliar, Mandelscum et al??

    • 81
      • 113
        AnotherAnon. says:

        That’s according to William Hague!

      • 137
        jgm2 says:

        Venezuala will be the next place to blow up if he does. The Dear Leader there isn’t too popular as it is.

        Might be deliberate disinformation from Hague.

        Or to give the yanks a chance to intercept the plane. I’m sure they’d love a word with Gaddafi now he’s no longer head of state.

        • 165
          Observer says:

          Venezuela is putting its head in a noose if it accepts the Colonel.

          • jgm2 says:

            Hence the suspicion that it’s young Billy flying a kite to get the ball rolling in Venezuela.

            Hope it doesn’t ruin my October break. I was toying with the idea of flying in from Aruba to Venezuela to see some big waterfall they have. Looks like I might just have to stay in Bonaire or Curacao instead.

            Jeez. What an inconvenience.

            You’ll laugh though. My original Summer 2011 plans (back in October 2010) was to take our car, get all the Carnets de Passage and all that shit, drive through France into Italy, take the ferry to Tunisia (Carthage, El Djem) then travel across Libya (Leptis Magna, El Alamein war graves), Egypt (pyramids’n’stuff), Jordan (Aqaba, Petra) , Syria (Damascus, Palmyra, Aleppo), Turkey (All those other biblical places) and back home through U-Rope.

            Imagine looking through your insurance policy to try and claw a few quid back on pre-booking ferries and hotels and visas and suchlike on that fucking mission.

            Lucky escape.

        • 336
          Archie says:

          Ghaddaffi and Chav-ez fucking well deserve each other!

      • 214
        speak for england says:

        you’ve got plenty of competition from all those young arab lads.

        billy will want to give them all second helpings of his yorkshire pudding.

  4. 5
    Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Croquet, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

    Is she looking for a position as a diary secretary ??

  5. 7
    Maddamar Qaddaffi says:

    Does she want a position as my Ukranian Nurse !

  6. 8
    Steve Miliband says:

    Is that where you can find tat?

  7. 9
    Catflap says:

    The two tales of the king with no clothes and the one eyed king who rules over the land of the blind(Westminster).
    They both apply to Vince Cable.
    A one eyed king with no fucking clothes.

    • 14
      london fashion week says:

      for a few quid we can sort that

      • 74

        I can’t decide whether to go to the off price show this year.
        Can’t see much that’s new.

        HEAD bags are back.
        {popular in the 80′s with the Grange Hill crowd.}

        Apart from Peter Mandelson I don’t know who else will buy one.

        Sally, I suppose…

  8. 12
    Anonymous says:

    …of sherry.

  9. 15
    Catnip says:

    Someones got to Will Lewis on Google Wikipedia result

    William Lewis (journalist) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    William Lewis (born 1969) is a British prostitute who is group General Manager at News International in the UK. He was editor-in-chief of the Telegraph …

  10. 17

    I’m still getting my brain around “editor’s secretary cum beauty columnist”. So far I’ve spilled nothing, thank God.

  11. 22
    Libyan Freedom Fighter says:

    We are begging you for help in any way

    Please force your government to denounce Gaddafi openly as a murderer

    • 25
      Libyan Freedom Fighter says:

      Why oh why is the West silent ?

      Have your beliefs in freedom disappeared ?

    • 26
      Anonymous says:

      I think the best you can hope for is Billy hinting indirectly that Gadaffi may not be ideal.

      There’s money involved, you know?

    • 27
      Down with Brown and the causes of Brown says:

      Sorry, there are a couple of ex-PMs here that need sorting out first.

    • 28
      jgm2 says:

      Don’t be silly. We all saw what happened in Iraq.

      Fuck ‘em. Their mess. Let them sort it out. The only honest policy is to sell guns to both sides. Let them sort it our amongst themselves. None of our business.

      We’ll can still buy oil off the winner.

      We’ll get fuck all thanks for getting involved. And fuck all thanks for not getting involved so we might as well take the cheaper option.

      • 91
        Must get a pseudonym one day says:

        See you’ve been reading the French Government’s standard manual on international diplomacy.

      • 338
        Archie says:

        Er, anyone remember that Egyptian bint pleading for help from the West a couple of weeks ago, but threatening death and destruction to any foreign powers who interfered in Egypt’s affairs? Mixed message I call it.

    • 30
      smoggie says:

      You lot need to denounce the Brown first.

    • 34
      nell says:

      gad afi is apparently on the run.

      I wonder whether St Tone is going to loan his bosom pal, who’s been paying him £2million pa to advise him (not sure on what) , one of his london houses for his forced retirement?

      And where are St Tone and madasahattergord now that their best pal gad afi is in need of support?

      Both acting macavity the cat now aren’t they?!!

      • 38
        smoggie says:

        Blair is the Middle East Envoy.

        That is why he is in Lincoln today, nowhere near his old chums.

        • 44
          jgm2 says:

          That’s another day off the 90 he’s allowed in the UK before he’s considered ‘resident for tax purposes’.

          • smoggie says:

            Tell me about it. And with these new-fangled isotonic passports you can’t sneak in and out anymore.

          • Easy peasy. says:

            Fly into Ireland. Cross the border into the North – no border restrictions. Travel to mainland UK from the North.

            You didn’t see me – right.

          • Makes perfect sense for the holder of an Irish passport to fly in and out of the land he calls home every now and again. Nothing to see here, move on…

          • Easy peasy. says:

            The Irish, like most of the rest of Europe, have a 180 day rule on tax. Much easier to be ‘non-resident’.

            The UK is practically unique with a 90 day rule.

            One of the harshest is the US where you have to not set foot in the place for ten years before they finally relinquish you from the tax obligation of being born, entirely against your will, in the fucking place.

      • 52
        The War Criminal Blair says:

        I am Tony Blair

        My family friend Gaddafi has paid be a my sidekicks directly or indirectly $millions

        He gave me some dosh for my Inter faith heist as well

        You see, Nell, I am specialist of playing both ends against the middle and cashing in every time.and lying my way out of it…like I did over Iraq…

        Even, when the Libyan people get massacred…

    • 37
      streamfisher says:

      Tony said he didn’t believe in regime change.

  12. 23
    smoggie says:

    She’ll have yer bails off if she finds out.

  13. 24
  14. 29
    If you value your computer screen. DO NOT Watch this video. says:

  15. 33
    Catflap says:

    How was the great sage,font of all wisdom,master of the universe Vince Cable laid low by such as she?
    Was it his shabby attempt at trying to lay her?

  16. 35
    The Beast of taughtness says:

    She specialises in teasing elderly cables?
    Count me in!

  17. 39
    Stokie says:

    Nice tits.
    Put her on page 3.

  18. 42
    Prezza says:

    I’ll toss to her.

  19. 43
    William Hagues Squeaky Bum says:

    The islamic dictators must have had shit loads of stuff on Western governments, lets hope files of information start to be leaked.

  20. 45
    The Jock Marr says:

    I am a good socialist

    I have never hidden it

    That why I have a state paid salary of £600,000 plus expenses Guido

    It’s logical

    Tony Blair told me years ago that to be a good socialist you had to earn over $ half a million a year.

    But do not ask how we avoid tax please…

    That will start blowing up (I know Guy Fawkes tried!) White Powder City the home of so many abuses (at your expense)

  21. 49

    Libya appears to be getting “down to the last man” right now.

  22. 51
    Vampiric says:

    Jane Cullen? Any relation to Edward Cullen from Twilight?

    I’ll get me coat.

  23. 55
    Madoff Madelson of Lazards says:

    I am making fucking millions my friends

    We manage hedge funds you know

    My old friends the Gaddafis are murdering people like madmen

    But of course our hedge funds are long on oil…

    I will always coin it you see

    And become filthy rich…my ambition ever since I joined the Young Communists …

  24. 56
    streamfisher says:

    We should employ him to sort out our NHS.

  25. 59
    nell says:

    BP has had to close its operation in lib ya and is repatriating its employees.

    bliar’s 30 peices of silver has just turned to tin.

  26. 62
    cheche says:

    Listening to PM on the radio – Lybia, Scotland , is there no news in England or what is the BBC burying

    • 68

      Halifax has had to give a little extra to its customers.
      Railtrack are sort of liable for stuff they didn’t do.
      Lefties have been getting agitated with other lefties.
      Something about … MI5…

      Anything on Al Jazeera?
      They’re always hot on celeb gossip.

      • 93
        Eeu to me says:

        Usual,Iran blaming the US,fighter jets and helicopters landed on Malta,got modded before on that

  27. 64

    Is it just me being an old cynic, or does the coincidence of the UK not acting quickly enough to freeze Mubarak’s assets being followed swiftly by Call Me Dave getting first dibs on meeting the new leaders not ring a little false?

    Seems that the noisy diplomacy of the US was swept aside by some clever dealing from our FO orientalists – hope we get lots of deals coming from our new friends soon…

    • 142
      cheche says:

      More likely Obuma rang up and said ” Hi Cameroon go to Egypt and tell’em this: now” and dont make any cast iron guarantees

  28. 66

    Rumour is Qaddafi has flown out.
    Can only assume Gordon has just flown in.

  29. 70
    Tony B Liar says:

    Hi proles. Aren’t I doing a splendid job as middle east peace envoy? I get to fly first class everywhere and stay in nice 5 star hotels, accompanied by bodyguards paid for by you. I know lots of people are being massacred in Libya right now but I’m a pretty straight sort of guy and my friendship with Col Gaddafi has made me awfully rich, or I should say, richer. Bye proles!

  30. 71
    Good old islamic terror says:

    Civilians marching from Mesrata toward Tripoli are being fired upon from Apache helicopters. Real massacres are taking place in Libya.”

    • 77
      jgm2 says:

      Think about it. Apache gunships = yanks.

      The yanks selling Gadaffi Apache gunships?

      I don’t think so.

      Shit reporting from the BBC.

      • 82

        On Al Jazeera {live stream} the planes in Malta look like MIGs.

        • 85

          What’s odd is that people have been shot and injured and are being carried and then an ambulance and a police car turn up.

          Why would you bomb your people and then send an ambulance?

          • jgm2 says:

            Left hand doesn’t know what the right hands doing.

            It’s the military ‘v’ The Rest.

          • jgm2 says:

            Shit military too. Got their arse handed to them by the mighty…. Chad.

          • Sir William Waad says:

            Muammar has always been a rum sort of cove, half statesman and half serial killer. He’s actually made much better use of Libya’s oil zillions than most of the most of the keffiyeh-wearers and doesn’t appear to have pinched much of it for himself. On the other hand his foreign policy has generally been nuts – losing a war against Chad, I mean, how daft can you get? – and providing support for vile terrorist acts. Libya’s corrupt of course, but that goes with being an Arab country (observed fact, not prejudice) and like all autocrats he’s made no provision for what happens when he’s upstairs in Jannah. Still, the Libyans are a tough and level-headed lot in my experience and may make a much better fist of it than one might expect.

          • T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

            I gave you democracy in Iraq !!

          • jgm2 says:

            Hello stalker.

          • jgm2 says:


          • jgm2 says:

            Screaming Reels!!

            Too easy.

            I feel so cruel.

          • jgm2 says:


        • 107
          Tits and ass says:

          I prefer watching Al’s Jizz Era. Much better viewing.

          • MI5 says:


            By far the best reporting on Libya by any TV station..BBC and CNN etc non existent…

            But Jereeza is still 12 hours or so behind the twitter channels…

        • 110
          Jack says:

          The planes in Malta are fucked out Mirages

          Amazing that they ever got that far…

          Training aircarft

      • 112
        Jack says:

        They are old surplus Chinooks in fact

  31. 95
    Boris the Impaler says:

    Very secret information Guido

    I have put Jane in the family way…

  32. 97
    Gordon Brown says:

    Good luck to the Dutch tomorrow.

  33. 103
    Jack says:

    She’s married Billy

    And glad you are back…

  34. 105
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish the people of Libya the best.

  35. 109
    John Prescott says:

    55 million Big Macs please. And for my main, I’ll have 125 million Filet-o-Fish. Pauline says fish is healthy, so I reckon a Filet-o-Fish will be good for me.

  36. 111
  37. 116
    MI5 says:

    From Libyan tweet 2 minutes ago

    “Where is #TonyBlair, the sanctimonious Middle East Peace Envoy, whilst the Libyan people are being massacred #feb17″

  38. 117
    Costcutter1 says:

    You tube wont let me ask David Cameron the following question
    “What is the current net interst cost to the tax payer in 2010/11 and in 2014/15? What would the the equivalent on the basic rate of tax to pay for the increase?

  39. 120
    The Arab Street says:

    Where is the sanctimonious Middle East envoy Tony Blair while the Libyan people are being murdered by his friend ?

    Answer : Counting his she kels with Imedla

    • 124
      The Arab Street says:

      Hang him

    • 127
      T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

      I can feel the hand of history on my shoulder !

    • 128
      Tony Blair says:

      Being p*ace envoy has made me very rich. So what if some people are being massacred in Libya? My friendship with Mummar is far too profitable for me to say anything.

      • 156
        jgm2 says:



      • 158
        Anthony Charles Lynton Blair says:

        I can grin. See me grin! I pull a special face when asked a Difficult Question. It is an Indulgent Smile. It says “I am clever. I am a Big Person. You are a stupid, little person but I will listen to the stupid little thing you say and give an answer that will annoy you but play well to the audience.” Another grin is coming. There it is! Now I must put on my serious face because I am going to tell a Lie. Did you spot it? Of course not. Let’s move on. Grinnnnnn!

  40. 123
    Anonymous says:

    Where is “Briton” is it anywhere near “Britain” ?

  41. 125
    Extra-curricular activities says:

    I wish there had been a classroom assistant like her when I was at school.

    A married teacher and his classroom assistant have been suspended over an alleged sex film. The pair are facing the sack after a colleague discovered the film on a school computer, according to The Sun.

    It is not known if the 800 pupils had access to the computer on which it was found. The video shows a man sitting on a chair in what looks like an office, grinning and looking at the camera while a woman performs a sex act on him.

    The woman also gazes toward the camera and later lifts up her top. The newspaper reports that Tim Edwards, 46, and Angela Thornhill, 50, have been suspended while bosses investigate whether they are the couple in the film.

    Mr Edwards said at his home in nearby Warlingham: “I can’t talk to you about anything. The council is investigating.”

    Mum-of-two Mrs Thornhill, who is separated from her husband, began as a cleaner and became a classroom assistant last September. She was not answering the door at her home.

  42. 126
    Squeaker says:

    Jane has morphed into Felicity Parkes

  43. 132
    The real Guy Fawkes says:

    Thank you Tony Blair

    You have done more than I can ever have imagined to destroy British institutions

    You trashed the House of Commons with Gorbals Mick and expenses

    You trashed the House of Lords with all your ermin vermin cronies

    You trashed the Prime Ministers office by flogging peerages and lying

    You trashed the intelligence services through the dodgy dossier and all Campbell lies

    You trashed the country’s finances by the biggest Ponzi scheme in British history

    I thank you…

    • 134
      Gorbals Mick, I made the taxpayer pay for my ugly wife to be driven everywhere in a taxi says:

      Hey lad! I was a great speaker! I did nothin’ wrong!

      • 285
        tell it like it really is says:

        Stop telling porkies – You couldn’t string two words together you old jock b.st..d.

    • 198
      Anonymous says:

      You should also add, you trashed our justice system by signing up to the pernicious Human Rights Act, enriching yourself in the process, Lawyer Scum!

    • 341
      Archie says:

      Don’t forget “trashed the UK by giving the Jocks and Taffies their own Mickey Mouse “legislatures”, paid for by England, of course!

  44. 133
    Gordon Brown says:

    Tonight I will be a Libyan protester.

  45. 136
    Wuv, winkie etc says:

    Post the video again, I’m sure this time it will bring the coalition down.

  46. 140
    jgm2 says:

    Looks like they’re doing the job themselves.

    Leave them to it. It would be rude to interrupt.

  47. 146
    Ed Miliband says:

    I try to thay thomething about Libya but nobody lithens.

  48. 149
    Engineer says:

    What difference would it make? It’s all sand dunes already. All you’d do is shuffle them about a bit.

    • 153
      jgm2 says:

      But you could save a fortune on seismic. Just turn the whole place to glass and you could see the oil.

      Or blow big enough holes and let the oil pour in and just pump it out. Save a fortune on drilling.

      • 161
        Engineer says:

        Must be hard work drilling for oil in a desert. The sand just fills up the hole – as anybody who has tried to be friendly to a young lady in the sand dunes knows only too well.

    • 159
      Engineer says:

      Besides, you’d have the RSPCA going ape about cruelty to camels.

  49. 157
    Engineer says:

    Bahrain go boom.

  50. 162
    David says:

    Guido – you are so far removed from the real world it’s a fuckin’ joke. You really may care about the tossers et al closeted in Westminster but thankfully an increasing majority are accepting that they are ALL complete ineffectual wankers. Any chance your schoolboy purile nonsense might be directed at a more worthwhile target. The UN for one. Guess you are too busy reassessing your portfolio in the light of our pal Col Ghaddafi’s imminent demise. Tosser.

    • 178
      Gayboy's handler says:

      leave the fat fake paddy alone. his poor-banker, poor-Israel schtick is total shite but you’d be amazed how many people believe he’s a crusading libertarian and not a sad-sack bender on the payroll of Herziliya.

    • 182
      statto says:

      We aim to please anonybottom.

  51. 163
    Stop living with your parents, Mr Wuv says:

    When do you plan to move out of your parents house?

  52. 166
    Mr Wuv is having another tantrum says:

    • 169
      Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man says:

      Are you going to be up at 4am again? Why don’t you paste “Topboy’s had enough” anymore?

      • 179
        Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man thinks lizards did 9/11 says:

        Are you going to shut the site down with your magical nutter powers?

      • 188
        Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man thinks lizards did 9/11 says:

        Are you going to threaten to shut the site down again?

      • 205
        tattyboy the coward ran away then ran away then ran away says:

        I’m done posting here. I’m off.

  53. 167
    Mr Wuv is having another tantrum says:


  54. 168
  55. 172
    Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man rims tramps for cider money says:

    Don’t you DARE make fun of my Gordie!

    • 201
      Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man rims tramps for cider money says:


    • 342
      smoggie says:

      (the real one here)

      No fucking wonder he pretends not to be ta­t and steals other peoples’ monikers.

      How embarressing.

      And just a little creepy as well.

  56. 175
    Let the people speak. says:

    So after Blair spent £billions and thousands of lives during his time as PM to free just one Mid East country, it seems all he had to do was give them facebook and Twitter, then job done.

  57. 177
    Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man has magical nutter powers says:

    Where’s the blog tat?

  58. 180

    Shadow Cabinet’s morning briefing.

    Shadow foreign secretary Dougie Alexander explains the world situation to Ed miliband.

    ” The uprising in Tunisia toppled their dictator then spread unrest around the Arabworld.
    Egypt followed, convulsed by unprecedented street protests. Widely covered on TV as their are plenty of good hotels there. Dictators in other Arabcountries began making policy changes or calling out the tanks. Libya, a long time loony country, but with oil supplies making it a rich loony country, looked as if it was going to avoid their neighbours fate.
    But an uprising in Benghazi quickly spread to open revolt. It seems Muammar has lost control of his country.”

    Ed Miliband – “I see…I see…erm…and exactly how do is this all the fault of the Tory-led coalition’s cuts?”

    • 185
      Gordon says:

      And it started in America.

    • 189
      Peter Mandelson. says:

      And just to think it was only last year that Nathan Rothschild and I went on a shooting party with Gaddafi’s son.

      • 197
        Winston SMITH says:

        It’s difficult to see how Labour can distance thenselves from their close ties with the Gaddafi regime.

        But they will. They have already done it with the biggest deficit ever and Iraq .

  59. 181
    Now is the time to buy. says:

    To be fair to Blair. He started all this off. If we had towed the Euro line and just imposed sanctimonious sanctions that only hurt the people and Never the leaders then the mid East Status Quo would still be intact.

    It is not popular opinion to support Blair but IMHO popular opinion is rarely if ever right.

    And on that subject I have been bombarded by the papers and TV news of late telling me that house prices will never rise again. On that Basis I would say now is the time to BUY BUY BUY. We humans all aspire for better accommodation it is in our genes. The BBC knows the square root of SFA.

  60. 183
    Poor Bill says:

    So Tony and George and the Neo-cons were right.

    Kick the door in, remove one. Set up a democracy, of sorts.

    Then all the rest will follow.

    Well done lads. Not quite the Thatcher-Reagan, end the cold war success, but still a good job so far.

    Now we wait and see how all the shit that has been thrown up settles.

    ( I still hate you Blair you bastard. However credit where,,,, )

    • 187
      Er...no says:

      You call 10,000 soldiers dead and 1m civilians dead a “good job”? Meanwhile, Mr Blair has made $60m blood money.

    • 190
      GOD says:

      I think on reflection that Bush and Blair did do the right thing.

      I told them to do it.

  61. 184
    THIS will stop the violence! says:

    UK comedian Eddie Izzard tweets: “Just sent this Direct Message @SaifGaddafi Please stop the military killing your people. History is watching and you can stop it. Thank you.”

    • 191
      nell says:

      Interesting how bliar – gad afi’s bosom pal, mandy – saif’s bosom pal and brown – he who is currently claiming he is an international statesman (and the man responsible for al megrahi being sent home), are all absolutely silent and invisible to the public eye tonight!

      BP and Total oil drillling operation tinight are suspended and staff have been sent home. If gad afi really foes fall and a new regime takes over, they’re not likely to let the gad afi supporting british back in are they?!

      St Tone’s moneymaking, mostly for him, scheme is in tatters!!

      Thank you Lord!! There is a God!

      • 199
        Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man rims tramps for cider money says:


      • 210
        nell says:

        Not over lib ya sweetie.

        bliar and gordon the moralcompass and mandy are the bosom pals of gad afi and his son saif.

        They were very vocal and explicit about that, did loads of photoshoots to prove that they meant it!!

        And then Mandy and bliar accepted loadsabloodmoney from lib ya for their support.

        The British Labour Party utterly dedicated themselves to gad afi and saif and their repressive regime.

        Time to reap the whirlwind!!!!

        How you going to get out of that one militwit and balls??!!

        I’ll bet they’re spinning like a dervish right now trying to distance themselves from this Labour Party disaster!!

        • 275
          HandsomeDavid says:

          Have not seen a picture of Cameron and Gadaffi together. They have never met.

          Go to google images and search for “Blair Gaddafi” and also “Brown Gaddafi” then see socialist love in with the north african dictator.

    • 193
      Sometimes I wander and think it's a joke says:

      Now that is a joke “UK comedian Eddie Izzard”,FFS another wannabe.

    • 300
      Anonymous says:

      Well done Eddie a tweet like that from a celebrity such as you is just what is needed in this situation. Now if James Blunt could sing to the Taliban we will have solved another problem.

      • 304
        And did those feet in ancient time run...... says:

        Perhaps Mr Izard could run a series of Marathons through the entire Arab world and we could watch agog as Dictator after Dictator falls in his wake ushering in Democracy and freedom wherever he goes.

  62. 186
    nell says:

    So where are the bosom pals, mandy, natro thsch ild, the grandold duke of york and saif gad afi tonight?

    Are they all on that luxury yacht in the med again, planning how to mow down even more demonstrators with british guns?!

    • 219
      nell says:

      No only once sweetie.

      The others meet regularly in the med without you.

      Be grateful for that especially after listening to mandy’s bosom pal, saif, threatening to kill every last woman and child if the protestors keep trying to put him and his dad out of power!!

      bliar, madasahatter, nat ro ths child, saifgad afi, mandy…..

      These are not the sort of mafia associates that you want!!!

      • 245
        nell says:

        I suspect even you know that johnmajor’s affair with the odious curry does not even scratch the surface of bliar’s and mandy’s ‘ evil financial affair with saif gadd afi!!!

  63. 192
    AnotherAnon. says:

    Welcome to Benghazi ,the next failed islamic state. Wonder how much £ Taxpayers money that idiot hague will throw at them?

    • 200
      nell says:

      A very Brtitish Labour Party view.

      “If gad afi falls lib ya will become an islamic state”

      Scaremongering is what that is!

      The British Labour party is in a very precarious position here given that bliar, brown, militwit and the scottish labour idiots have unconditionally supported gad afi’s repressive regime, in bliar’s and mandy’s case for personal gain, and are now about to be exposed for their failure to support democracy in favour of violent repression.

      Chickens coming home to roost now!!

      • 207
        Gordon Brown says:

        I love my beard.

      • 216
        nell says:

        Brown lost?

        No brown drowned in his own lying soup! Alongside aintbustinagut who would have sanctioned those british weapons which have been used this week to mow down lib yan demonstrators.

        Oh Yes! aintbustingut we know exactly what a piece of beetle dung you really are!!

        bliar went over to lib ya and was paid £2million pa for ‘advice’ he gave to gad afi.

        Then ‘ the completely lacking a moralcompass’ helped to get megrahi home , how much was that worth??

        The Labour Party completely lacking in ethics or decency!!

      • 222
        nell says:

        Oh Dear Labour is in panic tonight as their bosom pals gad afi and his son go on the run!!

      • 227
        nell says:

        Must be a bit cold down there in the yard where my externasl letterbox is placed.

        Feel free!

        Just be aware that there are rats in that part of the yard!

      • 259
        Joss Taskin says:

        Will T.B£iar offer to rent one of his TEN properties in the U.K to his old friend G@dd@fi ??

  64. 206

    What were we talking about? Oh yes! That bint at the top. Slapper innit? Face that could cut diamonds and once you get her out of that kit, it would be like a couple of walnuts, dangling in a pair of socks.

  65. 209
    AnotherAnon. says:

    Beats opening the local cost-co I suppose? Looks like the twits at twitter have changed something,spoilsports.

  66. 215
    Editorial says:

    Just a pointer Guido but you did say you wanted your blog to be recorded for posterity.

    Maybe the current turmoil (and your take on it) in the Mid East is a bit more interesting to posterity than Totty watch at the Daily Telegraph.

  67. 218
    I wouldn't sodomise it with yours says:

    nine pint maybe and that’s my final offer

  68. 225
    nell says:

    Try vene zuela sweetie it’s where gad afi has gone.

    Of course you’ll need to take loadsamoney, even gordon’s socialist pal hugo chavez doesn’t do hospitality for free!!!

  69. 230
    nell says:

    So what exactly is militwit, the leader of the opposition saying about Labour’s Very Close friendship with the gad afi’s ??!

    • 234
      nell sniffs out another exclusive says:

      When you surface from Sarah Brown’s tampon bin, perhaps you’ll let us know.

      • 242
        nell says:

        Oh Dear. SarahBrown is so yesterday.

        Today the issue is all about the Labour Party and it’s fascination with gad afi and it’s betrayal of democracy!!!

        • 250
          nell sniffs out another exclusive says:

          Ted Heath.
          Al Yamamah

          Yesterday is always with us.

          • nell says:

            Ted Heath .??

            Who is he??!!

            Gad afi is our man of the moment!!

          • Still got those ration coupons from the 70s? says:

            What would you rather have? Cheap oil, or democracy for some ragheads?
            When you start paying £5 a litre for petrol, will you still be so keen on freedom and justice for all?

          • nell says:

            Very bliar, mandy, gordon , Labour!!!

            Support gad afi and his repressive regime that is paying me £2million a year or face a hike in petrol prices!!!

            You have to admire bliar’s attempt at strategy in order to protect his excessive income!!!!

          • nell says:

            Freedom and justice for all.

            Not if you are a labour party supporter.

            The British Labour Party supports saif and his father as they mow down democracy protestors with British weapons provided by the last labour government!

            Bet Bob Crow is poud of that one !!!!

          • WPC Yvonne Fletcher says:

            Don’t diss Gadafi or a British government doing it’s best for justice.

  70. 235
    Herman Van Rompuy says:

    I love you British and your fascination with games like whiff whaff and Labour v C’onservative.

  71. 237
    Hands up give me hands up. says:

    I’ve got a feeling that Billy Hague is wrong and Mad Dog is not on a plane to Venezuela.

    Gordon, Tony, Alex and Jack’s mate is not going to give up so easily.

  72. 238
    Wine Merchant says:

    I phoned the new government alcohol helpline today. My question was about which one to buy – Chateau Latour or Chateau Lafitte? …..

    • 281
      who let the chavs in? says:

      before you buy anything, it might be a good idea to learn how to spell “Lafite”.

      Ignorance of the important things in life is very New Labour.

  73. 244
    rede says:

    Well done, trolls. Each and every one of you is a credit to our party.

  74. 246
    Chimera with two Eds says:

    Well done, trolls. Each and every one of you is a credit to our party.

  75. 248
    Put up or shut up. says:

    Why the fook are we telling the Arabs that a democracy is better than a Monarchy or even a dictatorship for ordinary people?

    Where is the proof?

    • 255
      President Herman Van Rompuy says:

      Listen to Billy.
      There’s no point voting in a rock solid safe EU constituency.

    • 256
      nell says:

      Where is the proof?

      Probably in those Chad mercenaries that gad afi has employed with western aid money, to mow down his own people.

      Let’s not forget he’s paying bliar £2million pa to advice him on socialist democratic governance!!!

      Presumably bliar is there in Tripoli telling him how to resist the democratic movement.

      It’s entirely what you’d expect of the British Labour Party isn’t it?!!

    • 258
      SPOT ON says:

      Bloody Hell Billy. You should be given wise status.

      SPOT ON

    • 263
      Liz rules OK. says:

      I would go for a Monarchy any day.

      Democracy is only as good as the PR.

      • 283
        Republican calling last orders says:

        Democracy is only as good as the sponging royal dangling from a lampost.

        • 292
          nell says:

          The sponging royal??!

          Well of course the duke of york is one of them but only a minor player!

          The major players are bliar ( and his pal nat) with his personal friendship of gad afi, mandy with his personal friendship of saif gad afi and brown with his endorsment of al megrahi’s release.

          The Labour Mafia and their close connection to gad afi’s genocide regime have so much to answer for!!

          • Prince Big Ears says:

            Wait until my turn comes!
            With a shared interest in tampons, i feel sure we can save the planet.

          • jgm2 says:

            Sharing tampons?

            It doesn’t get any greener. Or nasty-red/rust-colourer-truth-be-told.

            Monbiot should be informed.

            Just think. Halving the front-bottom produced landfill in the UK would, like, totally save the planet.

          • Hair Oil says:

            Am I the only one who saw the Discovery (or maybe the Science) channel documentary about the American who discovered that human hair is a fantastic absorber of oil. Works like magic just sucking the stuff up. He is now making a fortune arranging for every barber/hairdresser in the US to save the hair cut from their clients to be put in sacks and stored in readiness for the next oil spill. Works just like a tampon. Who’da thunk it?

    • 322
      tatmong says:

      I’m tat! I’m a mong! yap yap yap yap! Wheeee.

  76. 249
    nell says:

    I’m not a nutter , so says gad afi and gordon!!

    • 261
      nell sniffs out another exclusive says:

      Said nell, rising from out of Sarahs used tampon bin.

      Been checking for the latest smears have you?

    • 268
      nell says:

      Pity isn’t it that you feel obliged to post under someone else’s moniker?l

      It just means that labour don’t think they have a credible message to put across!

      And they don’t!!!

  77. 251
    Fuck 'Em says:

    now here’s a man looking for peace in the middle east


    cameron not just cozying up to Egypt but looking for arms trade in undemocratic countries aided by leading weapons manufacturers

    who’d have thought it?

    way to go dave

    • 284

      Funny, that – I may have suggested some under the table dealings in a much earlier post, but thought I was being unnecessarily cynical.

      Still, as long as it’s our arms dealers getting the business, I’m fine with it.

  78. 253
    Gordons Blown our wealth says:

    yes we know he was a d’head- but so are you – cant you cut and paste something new

  79. 257

    Bit scrappy today. The Mong Forecast was quite accurate though – much superior to the BBC:

    February 21, 2011 at 10:11 am
    Good morning, here is the Mong Forecast
    For today until midnight
    First the general situation
    A ridge of high nonsense over the Azores is moving slowly northeast
    And will begin to affect south-western districts of the blog
    by late evening

    Looks as if Muammar might be headed our way…

  80. 262
    Alcoholic Scientist says:

    We have on clear authority that if Britain continues its death wish with alcohol then by 2030 ther will be more people dead than live in the country. We must act to save people’s lives

  81. 265
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    I deny that I was his SpAd.


    • 271
      P. Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

      In an exclusive interview, Saif described Mr Blair as a ‘personal family friend’ of the Libyan leader and said he had visited the country ‘many, many times’ since leaving Downing Street three years ago.

      Read more:http://bit.ly/cVduid

  82. 270
  83. 273
    Yazbin Alibi Clown says:

    My minge smells of 10 day old halibut.

    • 282
      BoJo says:

      Hold on Baby, I’m on my way!

    • 288
      nell says:

      I am bliar and have sold my soul for 30 pieces of tin in the hope of £2million pa from gad afi in libya.

      Oh Dear , gadda fi , I and my Labour Party, and gord’s moral compass, are now exposed as frauds! Gad afi has fled!!

      Oh Such Sadness, that we can’t trough the Libyan public purse any longer!!

      • 289
        WPC Yvonne Fletcher says:

        Remember me, and my government that refused to kow tow to G’daffy?

        • 326
          jgm2 says:

          We’ll take cash.

          Thought the policemen marshalling the Libyan protesters around the Libyan embassy in London were just looking for trouble mind you. You know you’re getting old when the cops haven’t the sense to keep outside of sniper range of the Libyan embassy.

  84. 276
    Bullingdon Dave is still fuming over Labour's election defeat says:

    Yap! Yap! Yap!

  85. 297
    Sir Mark Thatcher says:

    Personally, i can’t see the problem with dodgy dealing in the middle east.

  86. 299
    Where have I seen that before? says:

    The Labour Party in Glasgow/Lanarkshire= Boardwalk Empire.

  87. 303
    GP says:

    Bahrain GP called off because of unrest.

    I hope they have other doctors available.

    I’ll get me coat.

    • 307
      Stephen Byers says:

      Psssst !! Want a taxi for hire ??

    • 345
      Money doesn't buy Tony Blair, he just walks off with it says:

      I’m the Great Bernie Ecclestone

      And it’s all Tony Blair’s fault

      I gave him a million smackers and he did the dirt on me…

  88. 308
    nulabour nuGaddafi-luvvers says:

    Douglas Alexander on Newsnight now, trying to defend Brown’s and Blair’s love-in with that UK-policewoman-murdering-twat Gadaffi.

    He certainly has the greasy little arse-licking tosser look down pat.

  89. 311
    AnotherAnon. says:

    What’s happened to hague’s head,looks like rug burn or something? Video 1:09

  90. 316
    Usually right says:

    No, “War on Murdoch” sounds fine. Where can one contribute?

  91. 317
    Fucked for a monicker now! (formerly Number 10's Cat) says:

    Be sure and do it doggie style: avoids the risk of her choking on her own vomit, which is a distinct possibility if you need to get that much beer into her before she comes across.

  92. 325
    smoggie says:

    WankerWall is down.

  93. 328
    John Ward says:

    It was indeed she….caught by the private dicks hired by the Barclay twins.

    Seems the Met are about to collar Coulson too.

    So Roop has dragged in young Elisabeth to clean things up…..and her husband, private-plane-to-the-Camerons supplier, Matthew Freud.


  94. 343
    Tacitus says:

    Perhaps she’s gone to become an Andy Coulson babe

  95. 344
    Ignorant Hypocritical Polly Twaddle says:


    I didn’t realise

    My salary is paid out of speculative capital gains made by our Guardian hedge fund

    I am devastated

    After all my attacks on the banks and hedgies and speculators..

  96. 346
    Tony Blair, I'll wank in public for £1 million says:

    I am “shocked and appaled by the violence in Libya” because Moammar has not paid his February instalment to me

  97. 354
    Gordon Brown says:

    why would my proctologist suggest I start riding a pony?

  98. 355
    Sarah Brown says:

    how does one get the smell of fish out of my laundry?

  99. 357
    And now the news,bugger it says:

    Iv’e really seen it all now,after that hypocritical Hodge woman on tv straight faced now a member of the public accounts committee actually complaining about the wastage in the MOD,I don’t think MP’s realise or get it how their behaviour pees people off.

  100. 358
    Postal Voter says:

    Britain experienced the largest influx since the Saxons during the 13 years of the last Government with migrants arriving in the UK at a rate of almost one a minute.


  101. 362
    JK Rowling says:


    Let her go to Hogwarts as she looks like a better teacher than Jacqui “five bellies” Smith

  102. 363
    Anonymous says:


Media Reader

Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Mirror’s Weeping Child Picture Lying Lazy Journalism | Guardian
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
BBC Still Loves the Guardian | Breitbart
Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP
Andrew Pierce v Owen Jones | MediaGuido
Michael Rosen’s Expert Opinions | MediaGuido
Metro Editor Leaves | Buzzfeed
Local News Stories That Rocked The World | Poke

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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