February 18th, 2011

How the Mighty Fall

There have been all sorts of suggestions, mostly unprintable, about the shiner on Ken Clarke’s forehead that was noticed in his copious media performance today. It wasn’t Dave’s mobile phone but apparently he tripped up in Speaker’s Court.

Insert gag about a reshuffle here.


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe he had a “Good Lunch” as most do in parliment?


  2. 2
    Hugh Janus says:

    Has it knocked some sense into him?


    • 64
      fagged@eton says:

      He’s converted to islam and has been hitting the prayer mat – literally!

      Look out for the “prayer mat bump” on the foreheads of all those “secular & moderate” (according to Al-jabeeba) demonstrators in the middle-east.


  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe he took a beating from Mandelson’s rubbery cock


  4. 4

    It’s a bindi.

    “The area between the eyebrows (where the bindi is placed) is said to be the sixth chakra, ajna, the seat of “concealed wisdom”. According to followers of Hinduism, this chakra is the exit point for kundalini energy. The bindi is said to retain energy and strengthen concentration. It is also said to protect against demons or bad luck.”


  5. 7
  6. 8
    Gordon Brown says:

    Mobile throwing is MY trademark.


  7. 9
    Anonymous says:

    You should the state of the old lady…


  8. 11
    Engineer says:

    Sitting too close to the trombonist during the big finish.


  9. 12
    Ampers says:

    Who wants to talk about Ken Clarke?

    I have something else to say.

    Politicians who espouse closer integration to the EU are bastards, they probably have very dirty habits, and although they push their case they know full well that the majority of the people they represent are agin it.

    So in addition to the above, they are evil and probably have smelly breath.


  10. 13
    Stroppycow says:

    “Minister – just ice that.”


  11. 15
    Trish abelson says:

    A shiner in speaker’s Court…. Were the Speaker’s expletives flying around at the time?


  12. 16
    why AV will not work says:


  13. 17
    Larry The Cat says:

    When it comes to being tough on crime, Ken’s a pussy.


  14. 21
    Ken Clarke says:

    My brain hurts


  15. 23
    Stroppycow says:

    Between the eyes have it?


  16. 24
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Did he trip up – or was he tripped up?

    That’s the question.


  17. 25
    EU, prisoner votes, sex offender list appeals, bailouts, muzzies, corrupt MPs & me? No thanks. says:

    It’s a shame the old codger didn’t suffer a more serious injury.


  18. 26
    Thanks to Mad Frankie for funniest pic of the year says:


  19. 28
    Steve Miliband says:

    Ken Clarke’s attempt to be the subject of the Friday caption contest ends in failure


  20. 29
    Yeah, right..... says:

    Ken been at the cooking sherry again?


  21. 32
    gildedtumbril says:

    He should have broken his fat, ugly, hush puppied neck.
    I am not too awfully fond of him or his idiot ideas.


  22. 33
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Is it something to do with ash wednesday?

    He was making pancakes and hit his head with the frying pan.


  23. 34
    Stroppycow says:

    Guido – would that be a soft shoe (re) shuffle?


  24. 38
    berlusconi says:

    Pissed again I suppose.


  25. 40
    Concerned says:

    Ken, contact Lawyers4U. That pavement is a death trap. Who needs expenses when you can claim compensation.


  26. 42
    Scotty says:

    O/T. England must reclaim it’s National Identity. It must cleanse itself of the PC agenda which promotes multiculturism over and above National Identity. Multiculturism does not work. Intergration is the way forward. England is the land of the confused.


  27. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ll make a statement about this to the House at 3pm. First, fizzy orange time.


  28. 45
    Gawkes says:

    Take him down


  29. 47
    Martin Day says:

    That’ll teach Ken not to try and interfere between the Hells Angels and the Outlaws again


  30. 48
    Billy Blofeld says:

    Someones been prodding Ken on the forehead……….. We. Are. Not. Joining. The Euro. Ken.


  31. 49
    nell says:

    Did he jump or was he pushed?


  32. 51
    David Cameron says:

    Bloody fool,Ken

    Should have been airbrushed like my photos


  33. 52
    Scotty says:

    That is not a shiner. That is a cut.


  34. 54
  35. 56
    Mad Rassa says:

    I see it’s all kicking off in the religion of piss.


  36. 57
    Carey in a wheelchair with joggers nipples says:



  37. 58
    drakes drum says:

    O Ken, you old bruiser! You are the ideal candidate for the Ambassadors’ job in Bahrain.


  38. 59
    Hamish says:

    The story about Norman Lamont’s shiner was that he had bumped into a filing cabinet. It later energed that it was the fist of a jealous husband he had bumped into.
    Could this be the story with Ken? Err, maybe not.


  39. 61
    FGAU says:

    He probably banged his head on the floor while praying to Brussels too vigorously.


  40. 63
    Desperate Dan says:

    He got it from the boot of the Lord Chief Justice whose megalomania and defence of his unelected and unaccountable office knows no bounds.


  41. 66
    Stroppycow says:

    Has he visited Glasgow recently?


  42. 68
    Chris says:

    Well what did he expect I am surprised it was on his forehead, I wonder if he has any more marks in places we cant see


  43. 70
    I hate Blue Labour says:


    I hope it hurt.


  44. 71
    Alf Garnett says:

    I just hope that it knocked some of that Europhilia out of him.


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Find out more about PLMR

Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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