February 15th, 2011

A Battalion of Spinners

The MOD isn’t having a good day. They are rightly being hounded after news emerged that thirty eight soldiers had been sacked by email, Andrew Neil asked Patrick Mercer on the Daily Politics “Is the MOD run by a bunch of numpties?” There was an awkward laugh and a notable pause before the denial.

As troop numbers are being slashed, who is responsible for mopping up these PR disasters? Well according to research by Think Defence, a battalion of spinners. They conclude that there are 697 personnel from both the military and civil service engaged in MoD spinning. Perhaps Fox should look again at where the axe is falling. Maybe send them an email.


  1. 1
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Battalion, Guido. Fucking civvies.

  2. 2
    smoggie says:

    Email them from the nearest lamppost

  3. 3
    adsum says:

    Who needs an enemy when we have the MOD?

  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Hang the fucker!

    O/T what happened to the wonk post?

  5. 5
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The Aussies need a decent spinner.

  6. 6
    Paul Marks says:

    The military is being undermined.

    This is not some weird bit of anarchocapitalism (undermining the national armed forces in the hope that private indivduals or organizations will, somehow, take their place) it is just incompetence.

    Incompetence on an incredible scale.

  7. 7
    @Kilkeal says:

    Don’t bother with emails, just send them their P45, and remind them to leave their car keys on the desk.

  8. 8
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I heard on the news last night that a up to 100 trainee pilots are being “let go” from the forces. Some of them were reported to be “hours away from earning their wings”.

    Which idiots have sanctioned this? Surely it would have been better to let them qualify and try to get a job in the private sector, rather than cut short their training and let them leave unqualified to do anything.

  9. 9
    smoggie says:

    Or sell them when the transfer market window re-opens.

  10. 10
    Larry says:


  11. 11
    Guido knows my ISP says:

    Anybody interested what the high and flighty Catherine Ashton thinks of Dave? Read on:


    Oh and also how hard she works

  12. 12
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Are there private sector jobs for fighter pilots?

    Of course thats just being a git, but its likely they aren’t “hours away” from some sort of commercial pilot status, even if they’re helicopter or transport aircraft trainees.

  13. 13
    Sir William Waad says:

    …..led by donkeys.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Fuck the PR disasters, it’s the decision disasters that matter.

  15. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Can we have some more Boobs :-) ?

  16. 16
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Still trying to get hold of a copy of her election manifesto…..

  17. 17
    A defence contract is a licence to print money. says:

    Until the RAF is disbanded then we will never have efficient Defence. There is simply no reason to have this force of civvies in uniform. The RN and the army have their own airforces, their own flying training bases and their own airfields. There is far too much duplication.

  18. 18

    Loving how much more coverage Larry is getting than the AV debate… shows how much of a priority changing the electoral system is to the people.

  19. 19
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “Ashton: You mustn’t expect any dramatic performances from me.”

    We gave up long ago, love.

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Cull the MOD says:

    It is apparent that the present group of numpties are as every bit inadequate, as the numpties who preceded them.
    Words fail, the only way to change the appalling MOD, is a root and branch cull of the career civil servants who have screwed our military relentlessly and think only of what effect their actions have, on their own back pockets.
    The MOD is not fit for purpose, not fit for our military and not fit for our country.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    If they are just hours away then they are already qualified pilots. Ryan air ain’t quite as exciting mind.

  23. 23
    Happy as Larry says:

    Mark my words. Installing a cat into number 10 is a vote winner. This is the sort of thing people like.

    Gordon spent billions of pounds trying to buy votes and it did not work. All he had to do was hand over 25 quid at the local rescue center and display the common touch.

    Dave must be as Happy as Larry today.

  24. 24
    Pookah says:

    It’s the Big Societies chance to guard the nation.

  25. 25
    South of the M4 says:

    ” hours away ” from being a trained fast jet fighter pilot ready for combat. They would already be competent and qualified fixed wing pilots with a conversion to civilian airline work relatively easy. Probably highly sought after by the prestige national airlines.

  26. 26
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    You’ll be waiting a long time for that Billy, this is the dawn of the ‘post democratic era’ where people are selected to positions of power.
    It also appears that neither ability or competence is a required attribute either, though being a ‘former’ communist is.

  27. 27
    Mornington Crescent says:

    And yet the 697 spinners couldn’t put anyone up on Toady this morning. Result: that revolting Jockshire hoon Murphy was allowed to run amok, with only Montague to keep him in check. I’m still seething.

    Give us some more tits, Guido, I need to calm down.

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    Ashton: We try to export our European values ~~~.

  29. 29
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    +1 on the Tits :-)

  30. 30
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    Quick factcheck:

    The MoD is the Ministry itself, based in London. The bureaucrats in the MoD will have been completely unaware of this before it came out in the news. They set policy (often spectacularly badly), not implement the minor details.

    The decision to impart the news by email was taken by mid-ranking officers in the Army Personnel Centre (APC), in Kentigern House in Glasgow. APC reports up the chain of command to the Adjutant General, based in Andover. Truly crass, and you can bet your next paycheck that AG and his direct reporting chain down to the desk officer concerned aren’t going to be receiving complimentary personal reports this year, or getting promoted.

  31. 31
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Agreed. Which were the most read articles on the Beeb website this morning? Berlusconi knocking off a teen (allegedly) and the arrival of the Downing Street cat.

    NHS exterminating the elderly? Nah – who cares, innit. Not even in the Top 10, FFS.

  32. 32
    Rat's arse says:

    Didn’t old slot gob get rid of the last Downing Street cat [I think his name was Humphrey]. Only room for one smelly pussy I suppose!

  33. 33
    Gordon Brown says:

    i need a camel to complete my collection

  34. 34
    Worthless Lib Dem Pledge says:

    It’s incredible to think that the procurement section of the MOD act so incompetently that we hear how it costs more to scrap the build of an aircraft carrier than to build it, nine aeroplanes scrapped before they are even used, a £38billion black hole in the budget, yet the hoon in charge is paid over £250,000. What the frigging heck is Fox, Cameron and the socialist Clegg doing about it?? Sweet FA, as the defence of our nation is going down the pan and the brave are being rewarded by an e-mail from some gutless turd of a civil servant or politician. When are the severe cuts coming with MOD personnel ??

    Clegg and his mob came a poor third at the election because the public did not want his policies on defence, EU, immigration, welfare etc. No one voted for a coalition that they try to spin. We can’t use the nuclear missile Cable to fight our enemies, the least we can do is support our troops and give them the tools to fight. The politicians created the war not the public, soldiers or other military personnel. Politicians created this financial mess- Clegg and Cameron did not oppose Blair/Brown’s reckless spending plans. They still carry on like adolescent university buffs- it is not a game, this is our lives you are messing about with. Grow up, and sort the mess out that you created.

  35. 35
    Rat's arse says:

    My mate’s husband is serving in Afghanistan and his SOLE job is to buy and then give out gifts to tribal elders, to show how generous we are [bribes]. I’m suprised he is not handing out free British passports too.
    He has the gall to tell me how much waste their is in the British Army!

  36. 36
  37. 37
    Worthless Lib Dem Pledge says:

    And they still get paid a bonus…. Unbelievable. Sack a few hundred and give us back the soldiers. This is in accord with government policy in keeping front line services and getting rid of back office staff.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    No thank you – I had my fill of tits yesterday after seeing Tony Blairs moobs on a yacht .

  39. 39
    tit nutter says:


  40. 40
    SocialGhism says:

    Bloody good fun and plenty of pulling in those uniforms. We need to grow the RAF and get them better established in London’s rakish club society.

  41. 41
    Gordon Brown says:

    kabaddi kabaddi kabaddi kabaddi kabaddi kabaddi

  42. 42
    The Labour Party says:

    Its all Thatchers fault.

  43. 43
    Catflap says:

    Troops getting the sack via e-mail or getting kicked to death prior to deployment to Afghanistan.
    Fucking country makes me sick.

  44. 44
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I’ll swap you for two malboro lights and a lucky strike.

  45. 45
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    First they came for my vote , I said nothing……..

  46. 46
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    and then spat on when they return…….

  47. 47
    Hugh Janus says:

    And in that case this should, presumably, have been a good day to bury bad news – if the 697 MOD & civil service spinners had got their act together….

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    “Think Defence” are talking bollocks.

    What do you mean by “spinners”?

    Press Officers? OK, fair enough. But only about twenty in the MOD headquarters. Pretty normal for a department of state.

    What Think Defence and others are counting as spin doctors includes, for example:

    – recruiting and marketing types; may seem unnecessary, but stop and think how many young men and women the Armed Forces need to recruit each year, even in these times of falling military strength. Many infantrymen may only serve 5 or 6 years before leaving. A steady churn has to be maintained.

    – unit press officers; in other words, some junior officer who did not move fast enough when the Adjutant came looking for someone to dick. Attends a one week course and is then qualified to write a nice little “what we did on our hols” piece for the local paper when his battalion (note spelling, Guido) returns from a tour overseas, or to invite the photographer in when the unit hosts a visit by the local Brownies pack or whatever. In other words, a normal soldier with normal duties, who just has an extra responsibility thrust upon him when needed.

    – military media ops officers; the thankless task of looking after the hordes of journos reporting from the frontline, keeping them safe and well, making sure they don’t get in the way of the infantry or a bullet, getting them on or off helicopters, getting all their TV equipment to and from Afghanistan, feeding them, and generally applying TLC to media luvvie egos.

    – photographers; soldiers, sailors and airmen trained to high standards for when it is just too dangerous to put an unarmed civilian out there, to get the pictures that, in a modern democracy, the public expect to see. If they don’t do this, people start whinging about “secret wars”.

    Oh, and a lot of this capability is provided by Reservists, to avoid drawing in too many Regular personnel.

    Don’t insult these people by calling them spin doctors. Ultimately, the MOD has to be able to show Joe Public where and how the country’s Armed Forces are fighting – and dying – on their behalf. That needs something a little more organised and robust than, say, the Department of Work and Pensions press office…


  49. 49
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Best I can do, Billy, from my hero Milligan. Ticks all the boxes: tits, takes the piss out of the BBC and expenses, more tits.

  50. 50
    bergen says:

    The MoD has been a shambles for decades.It would have been better to leave the Service ministries independent because they are all individually weaker than the monolithic central Defence Dept which acts in its own interest and is far too close to the Defence industries.

  51. 51

    … bit hard on donkeys, that.

  52. 52
    Rat's arse says:

    Sad Dick Khan on t.v. Why isn’t that b@stard in prison? Oh, could it be something to do with his name? Surely not.

  53. 53
    Marmite says:

    Don’t forget Baroness Houdini……….

  54. 54
    Oooooooo get you says:

    i should take off you crash helmet take up cross stitch old chap

  55. 55
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    :-) , No sound here tho .

  56. 56
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Stone the Khunt !

  57. 57
    Rat's arse says:

    That’s precisely what she’d have got if she was in her own Country Billy. Thieving b@tch.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    This “Redundancy Notice by eMail” may not be an unfeeling conspiracy or incompetence etc. It may be that the recipients had signed up on their HR account to “receive notices by email” rather than by paper mail or through their CO.

    When minor clerk hits the print button, it prints the letters for the latter and instantly emails the others before clerky can say “Oh Damnation”

  59. 59

    They don’t make them like that any more,
    More is the pity
    Exotic locations
    And plenty of titty.

  60. 60
    Hugh Janus says:

    But she didn’t “keep him in check” did she? Far from it. She really reached a new low this morning (if that were possible). She just sat back while the slimy creep Jim Murphy (our alleged shadow defence secretary – full time now perhaps??) was allowed a virtually interruption-free broadcast to the nation. No mention by her of the £38bn black hole created by Hard Liebour, no mention of the shambolic chaos that masqueraded as the MOD in those now infamous 13 years. She didn’t challenge him on his assertion that Liebour had put in record investment (and we all remember how similar lies by Gordon Ponzi-McBust were comprehensively trashed at the time).

    I was prepared to put this down to the usual pro-Liebour interview, but on this occasion her shameful performance and her obvious ignorance of the most basic facts and figures was actually one of the most inept and pitiful interviews I have heard on Toady – and we are not exactly spoilt for choice on that increasingly mediocre and biased programme.

  61. 61

    It may be your hearing, lad… Cut down a bit. I heard it but I keep it down to eight times a day.

  62. 62
    They may not frighten the enemy but by God they frighten me says:

    One good thing to come out of these Defence Cuts though(oops sorry that should read Strategic Defence Review)….. army/navy.RAF redundancies;sacking of trainee RAF pilots,scrapping of Harriers;shredding(literally)ofnext generation Nimrods and mothballing of Royal Navy ships is that no future Labour PM will be able to get the country into another “illegal war” cos’ we won’t have enough military assets/personnel to take on Andorra let alone Iran……

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    Of course, old boy, of course. Silly me.

    By the bye, how many operational tours have YOU served?

    Just like any part of the Armed Forces, it is not a risk free business. RIP Vanessa Lang – you were never a spinner.

  64. 64
    Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori says:

    Almost (not) makes you proud to be British !!

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    Have you actually read the linked post, don’t think the word spinner was used once

  66. 66
    Mrs Slocombe says:

    Has anyone seen my pussy?

  67. 67
    Red Dog, Blue Dog says:

    Clearly you have never served in uniform on operations or you would know that the giving of little gifts to locals is part of any hearts and minds campaign (an integral part of counter-insurgency ops). These ‘bribes’ compliment physical security measures that provide force protection. I am not saying that there is no waste in the Army but in this case you are simply ignorant of the facts.

  68. 68
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    When I said hours away, what I meant was flight hours. Apparently, some of the trainees have less than 24 hours left before they get their wings.

    I should have explained it better.

  69. 69
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Very well put, Hugh. Agreed.

    I posted elsewhere on the subject


    and only came down from the ceiling at lunchtime – blood pressure still not normal.

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Yes I have. Thinking Defence’s piece is still trite bollocks.

    More to the point, Guido uses it. It is the big word after “A Battalion of…”

  71. 71
    snarthwick says:

    Never was a truer word spoken Mr Dimpledge.

  72. 72
    Sir William Waad says:

    Indeed, my uncle was a unit press officer during the third Arakan offensive in Burma and his incisive, graphic cables with their sparing use of adverbs played a vital role during the capture of Kalewa.

  73. 73
    grim reaper says:

    Sack front line service workers & keep nhs managers …plenty of work for me…

  74. 74
    ouch says:

    as happy as anyone sans testicles

  75. 75
    black snatch watch says:

    I keep a dirk in my sock

  76. 76
    The Wolfman says:

    I only wish I could meet and work with the battalion, nay Division of perfect geniuses who emerge so regularly to carp and criticise all this incompetence they see around them; I could express my gratitude that they can spare a few moments from their super efficient world (where, presumably, they fix brains or end poverty) to gob up some bile at their stereotype of a public servant/civvy/politician/union member/etc (delete as applicable).

  77. 77
    sheet a breek says:

    I’ve got a little gift for Sally, I hope she likes it

  78. 78
    Aesop o'Sardis says:

    To all of the armchair fighter pilots with thousands of hours of stick time on Combat Flight simulator, you are talking bollocks.

    The student pilots are a few flight hours of training from passing to the next stage of training. That means a few weeks or months away from sticking a badge on their chests. They then have to go to advanced training before they are even selected for a particular role or aircraft type.

    When that happens, they do another course to convert onto the aircraft, then they may have to do role specialist training.

    When they get to their first squadron, guess what, they have to do even more training before they are considered competent to perform their squadron role. That will take up to a year.

    It costs an airline pilot tens of thousands to train – possibly into 6 figures. It costs millions to train military pilots and they never stop training. By the time they reach their 30s, it will have cost over £10 million in taxes. On the gucci fast jets, you can double that.

    Nobody in the military or MoD is smiling about this. It is a miserable state of affairs, bringing heartbreak to a lot of youngsters who have dreamed of nothing else all their lives. It is just as miserable for their commanders who are watching the forces disintegrate because of the evil conduct and cretinous incompetence of the last government.

    It is my opinion that at least a dozen of the miserable bastards should stand trial for treason for what they have done. But they won’t. They will sneer at us in contempt for our pitiful existence as victims of a shitty cabal of bullies, liars, thieves, perverts and dickheads.

  79. 79
    Anon says:

    Actually Anonymous old chap, I trained as a Leading Airman (Photographer) in the RN, plus worked in a role with the TA where I occasionally had to do photography, and certainly do NOT think Think Defence is talking bollocks. The original article asked a question, a reasonable one at that.

    In fact TD has had articles pointing out just what a good and necessary job many “MOD Civil Servants’ do (MOD Police, Guard Service, RFA, etc etc) so the site is certainly not one which spouts the usual “their all useless civvies, so sack em’ all” type shit available elsewhere.

    So please be careful not to slip and hurt yourself when you climb down from your very high horse !

  80. 80
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    Our Armed Forces’ ability to deploy across strategically significant distances, along with a historically interventionist policy of muscular peace enforcement, are just about the only things that keep us at the top table in the UN. The latter has become weaker and weaker, the former is declining rapidly. In ten years, unless there is a turnaround in both policy and budget, it will be gone forever.

    Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing depends on one’s point of view. It would however be a crying shame to stumble into a position of irrelevance on the world stage because of short term political manoeuvring.

  81. 81
    Cassandra King says:

    Hmmmm, its a very very difficult choice to make for the MOD isnt it?

    Actually spending the billions on defence OR spending it on tens of thousands of parasitical civil servants with lavish pensions and perks..its a real hum dinger of a choice they have to make.

    Well its no choice at all really for them to make, the money should of course be lavished on MOD mandarins and penpushers and parasites, what do we need an armed forces for anyway? I suspect the MOD sees the armed forces as some kind of irritating and unnecessary burden always getting in the way of their core primary objective, that of looking after themselves.

    The real business of the MOD is taking very good care of themselves and anyway it wont be long before the whole tedious business of defence will be handed over to the EU so who cares? They certainly couldnt.

  82. 82
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    Perfectly plausible, if not for the clear evidence that DM(A) knew they had a problem with some feckless deliberate decision making by desk officers in advance of the emails going out. Head over to the ARRSE forums to read the details of deck-chair re-arranging at DACOS level in mid January.

  83. 83
    TheRagingTory says:

    Perhaps you should read the TD article before you judge hmmm?

    I’d hate to think Guidos window lickers were prejudiced

  84. 84
    The Wolfman says:

    The trouble is that the MOD you refer to is, in fact, civil servants AND Armed Forces personnel – over half of the staff in London are the latter. Oh and they are all getting an ‘X’ factor allowance (12% of their salary, essentially ‘danger money’), their accommodation in private properties paid for, their kids paid through public school and a full pension after 22 years service. In fact, they cost around 5 times more than a ‘parasitic’ civil servant doing the same job. It was one of them who sent the insenstive emails… But, hey, let’s not allow the facts to get in the way eh?

  85. 85
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    I agree. Britain invented the independent air force in 1918, but its time has gone. The rationale of the independent air force was strategic bombing, and the RAF hasn’t been in that game since the V Force gave way to Polaris in 1968. The army would be much better off arranging for its own helicopters and close air support, and the navy can operate fast jets from carriers rather than air bases in the UK. It would be a shame to lose the dam busters, but these are the breaks.

  86. 86
    Cassandra King says:

    Translation needed I think.

    Is annon employed by the MOD to sift through all the blogosphere hunting down criticism and righting wrongs, a kind of civil service superman?

    You see its clear what the message of the parasite class is, its the old ‘you need us and you could not possibly do without our services’ and its quite possible that they have persuaded themselves that they are more important than the actual armed forces.

    The MOD now employs more parasites with grand sounding job titles than it employs actual service people, ever wondered why the troops lost in Iraq and are losing in Afghanistan? Look no further than the MOD whose sole occupation is to look after themselves and this they do very well, in fact if they looked after the armed forces half as well as themselves the armed forces would not be the laughing stock they have now become.

  87. 87
    Cassandra King says:

    Yes, the MOD hands out fertilizer and diesel which is then mixed to create the IEDs which kills and maims the troops who are forced to mill aimlessly around because the MOD human rights lawyers will not let them attack and kill the enemy and because the MOD is desperately trying to talk to anyone claiming to be a taliban leader so the MOD places crippling restrictions on the troops who can only walk up and down providing target practice for taliban snipers and IED teams because they have no air transport to speak of.

    How to lose a f*cking war brought to you by MOD productions and their motto is ‘who gives a sh*t?’

  88. 88
    Cassandra King says:

    All perfectly timed to hand over whats left of our armed forces to the EU which then takes over our seat at the UN, its been planned for years.

  89. 89
    Cassandra King says:

    “nobody at the MOD is smiling about this” perhaps they can console themselves up with a massive pay rise or two with the money saved by sacking pilots that the MOD devised and approved and carried out, still at least the MOD parasite class saved their own jobs first eh?

  90. 90
    Cassandra King says:

    Lets not let the facts get in the way? Well why not first sack half of the bloated overstaffed lazy and useless MOD parasite class, you know the ones paid to trawl through blogs looking for criticisms of the MOD. Thousands of useless mouths employed by a useless MOD more concerned with its own lavish comforts than anything else.

    How many ‘workers’ employed in procurement alone? The only thing they have procured is lots of money for themselves. A giant self sustaining parasitical monster ever hungry for more and more while giving less and less service, half the MOD is not actually needed at all but then again as a PR troll you know this already.

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    As we are dealing with facts:

    The X factor is not “danger money”, it is the component of salary designed to somewhat compensate for being shifted around every 2 years (or less) that is the reality for most in the Army.

    The educational allowances are there to give children some stability of education. The value does not pay anything like full fees – more likely one third of the fees.

    Neither fact explains why the RAF and Navy (who move far less than the Army, if at all) receive the same level of X factor or educational allowances.

    The full pension is generous, but is contributed to through a rebate in basic salary like just about anyone else. It is not a freebie.

    I’m not trying to make an argument that military people do not cost more than civil servants, simply that there are very valid reasons why additional allowances are paid. The cost differential is not five times: it may be double, but that’s about it. And for that double the difference, you get a lot more than double the flexibility of employment than you get from a civil servant. In one year, a major in the Infantry can go from commanding a company on combat operations in Afghanistan to drafting policy on future manning needs, in both cases unaccompanied by his family. Very few civil servants can do the same, or would wish to. I’ve only come across a couple of fast stream civil servants with the same flexibility.

  92. 92
    Cassandra King says:

    I dont believe you dont realise how funny your words are! Who needs servicemen eh? I suspect you think the MOD civilian useless mouths would be far better able to defend the UK without those expensive soldiers clomping around the place.

    Cracking self parody!

  93. 93
    Flashman says:

    What else would one expect from an unhinged organisation that “employs” the numerical equivalent of an infantry battalion in the role of spin weasels.

    And as sure a hell, these precious latte sippers don’t do their “work” for a squaddy’s wage.

  94. 94
    The Wolfman says:

    The service people, as you will know, are – with a very few exceptions – working in London are majors and above, mostly well above. How many 1 and 2 stars in Whitehall? That they are receiving the same X factor as a tom in afghan is outrageous – these senior officers have no chance of being deployed.But wait a minute it isn’t the same, because 12 % of 120 grand is not the same as 12% of 18 grand is it?
    You are right that service people have different TACOS and for good reasons; I don’t disagree in the slightest. however, it really does make them 5 times more expensive though (you have to factor in length of service, cost to train and replace, etc , aas well as th pay, pension and allowances). And, anyway, you know that many (not all) of the one stars in London (esp RAF because there aren’t enough proper jobs for them elsewhere) has a job about equivalent in terms of pressure and complexity to that of a manager of a tesco metro…

  95. 95
    Flashman says:

    In repelling a taliban attack on an outpost, the embedded media person was instrumental in winning the fire fight by directing fire, organising ammo resupply and co-ordinating air strikes. However it was this person’s ability to head shoot a split infinitive and to long toss a dangling participle were in fact the truly decisive battlewinners.

  96. 96
    The Wolfman says:

    Cassandra, the questions for you are:

    1. Do you want expensive officers (it’s not soldiers dear that work in the MOD, it’s Officers) to count paper clips or a cheaper civil servant? I know what I’d prefer.

    2. Can you describe one of these ‘lavish comforts’ you are so against?

    Oh and I work in the antiques trade, but, again, don’t let that fact get in the way of your little fantasy.

  97. 97
    Flashman says:

    As I read this, my sub-conscious mind suddenly put up a powerpoint bearing the word “Crimea”.

    What can this mean please Doctor F?

  98. 98
    Aesop o'Sardis says:

    Never let logical thought get in the way of an emotional outburst. I share your outrage at all those civil servant millionaires fucking over the MoD (‘not’, in case you lack a sarcasm gland) just for fun. It’s so like the thousands of millionaire retail bankers who destroyed the economy by paying themselves huge bonuses – a habit that started in America and is fuck all to do with government.

    Get a grip. Brown, Balls and Milliband fucked us over, just to see if they could do it, knowing that they would most certainly get away with it.


  99. 99

    The interesting thing is that we reserves will not be available for call-up and will leave as soon as we can. Volunteers are not coming forward any more. We all thought the tories would save the military – but they are selling it off.

  100. 100
    Houdini says:

    They are rightly being hounded after news emerged that thirty eight soldiers had been sacked by email,

    What do you mean rightly?

    If you knew your arse from your fucking elbow, or had served in the forces, you’d know that ANY serviceman who is on long service can be gotten rid of at ANY time with twelve months notice, and often do and have been throughout history. This is normal practice with people who serve more than twenty two years and are on SHORT term contracts.

    Now stop lapping up the shit you’re being fed.

  101. 101
    laughing hangman says:

    Maybe a better day to bury 697 spinners six foot under or even down a Chillean mine with a few hundred pounds of high explosive.

  102. 102
    On the commute home says:

    Totally agree my brother just went, he stayed for the Tories hoping it would get better. It’s been worse!

    The Tories dined out on being pro military in opposition, it’s clear they were lying and it’s going to hurt them big in terms of reputation.

    You can’t personally attack Broon for 12 months on an issue then ignore it yourself without having the media eviscerate you in the long run.

  103. 103
    Cassandra King says:

    No really!

    The MOD should be shut down completely and its functions handed over to each service with a supreme combined HQ representing each arm. The bloated MOD only duplicates functions easily carried out by each service command anyway, close down the MOD tomorrow and only the parasites would notice.

    NO CIVILIANS NEEDED and billions of pounds saved.

    Procurement to be undertaken by a maximum staff of 100 people buying only the best kit at the best price at the right time NO CIVILIANS NEEDED. See where I am going with this? The last thing the armed forces needs is tens of thousands of parasites leeching billions from defence funds, it should be used for the defence of the realm and that should be the justification for any expenditure, each job should be examined closely to see whether it could be done ‘in house’ at forces level and what value it brings to the defence of the realm.

    The bloated MOD is like any other parasitical leech quango, it now exists almost exclusively to look after its own interests first and second and last, so much expenditure is being leached from the funding that there is less and less to spend on defence of the realm and that is what the funding is for, to defend the realm. The MOD is filled to bursting with paperclip shuffling nonjobs and yes that does include workshy Ruperts with nothing to do but most of us would rather pay a lazy few Ruperts to lounge around rather than a legion of guardian reading leftist parasites that now infest the MOD.

  104. 104

    I have a solution: Reraise that famous battalion of the London Regiment, The Civil Service Rifles, draft all these useless mouths into its ranks and pack it off to the ‘stan. No money need be wasted on training as I intend them to be deployed in the Force Protection role. More specifically – human IED detectors.

  105. 105

    You think a soldier, even a long service Warrant Officer earns as much as some PR w**ker?

    Sack a battalion of spinners and you could afford at least a reinforced brigade of proper soldiers. Including all the necessary equipment and running costs.

    By the way, I’m pretty sure that number does not include the paid liars on contract from consulting firms. I seems to remember a couple of years ago someone admitting there were another couple of thousand spinners not on the official MoD payroll.

  106. 106

    Nah. People get out of Chilean mines. Now, New Zealand coal mines, on the other hand, are a completely different story. With them you don’t even need the explosives; they blow up quite happily all of their own accord.

  107. 107

    So the decision to sack 38 highly experienced warrant officers (that’s Sergeants Major to the uninitiated) in the middle of a war? That would be a “minor detail” or a “policy”?

  108. 108

    No. That was the DfID.

    They were the tits who went and builtt an ANFO factory ….. sorry, fertilizer manufacturing plant, in one of the hottest areas of terrorist activity.

    Don’t you just love watching HMG spend your taxes?

  109. 109

    And I bet your paycheck comes from HMG too.

  110. 110


    H*Y* GU*Y*SZE







  111. 111
    Biggles says:

    give us your location P C-K and we will show you what we can do…..

  112. 112
    Biggles says:

    give us your location P C-F and we will show you what we can do…..

  113. 113





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