In a twist to the usual story the Mail is reporting that Laura Johnson is having an affair with Alan Johnson’s police protection officer.
Paul Rice, an experienced detective constable, is expected to be suspended from duty within 24 hours.
She has left him…
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Nigel Farage hits the nail on the head:
“This olive oil ban was virgin on the ridiculous.”
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
Policemans pension is bigger than a postmans. simple
But Bigger than a cabinet minister’s pension? Really?
Will Whelan and McBride follow Balls back to Westminster to start smear campaignsagainst his colleagues? Ed wanted change from the past, he certainly has not chose very well with scum like Balls and his wife.
How sad for them both…
http://horsforthletdownbyleeds.blogspot.com/
An unusual way to admit your last story was a complete load of shite you dreamed up in an alc*holic stupor, but it could become your new catchphrase.
Laura Johnson’s got a bit of a chin on her, is she related to Lembit Limpdik.
Antoine du Beke…?
Jimmy Hill
Anton du Bukakke, shurely.
Arkle.
Brucy anyone, good game, good game.
I’d like to be a part of that as well. Not that I knew anything about it last time of course.
Why not bring back Derek Draper as well – I need a good laugh and you know he is going to humiliate himself and the Labour Party within three months of reappearing on the public scene
Shadow Cabinet sources and rumour has it that he is living with a pigeon in Zimbabwe.
It must be true.
Not when he has to give her half.
Balls could hardly suppress his smirk last night. TBH he didn’t even try.
Prob already posted but worth repeating.
But I think life hasn’t finished with Edward yet………
So are Both guido and the mail correct?
Has a copper arrested Al’s wife attention and a Civil servant is servicing Al?
And what is Balls’ role in this complete load of Bollocks?
At least UnWed Ed won’t have to worry about this sort of thing.
For all we know Pat started messing about first. But he’s got his story in first, which is critical.
Yes, both correct.
Always get your retaliation in first..!
counter spin !
Shadow Cabinet sources and rumour has it that the Postman always rings twice while he was shagging Anne Widdecombe.
It must be true.
“ut he’s got his story in first, which is critical.”
But he/she who laughs last, laughs longest.
I prefer
‘What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander’
“Policemans pension is bigger than a postmans. simple”
;;;;;
Perhaps, but their intelligence isn’t.
Policemen’s balls are bigger than postmen’s – but only because they sell more tickets.
Like a chimps!?
I feel sorry for Jess.
He’ll get fucked off for ‘gross misconduct’ or somesuch and no pension. Same reason Kelly killed himself.
He’ll get fucked off for ‘gross misconduct’ or somesuch and no pension.
No he wont. The police are beyond accountability in this country. they can murder and rape at will and the media will go gaga over them. shite!
Who’s this Alan Johnson wallah?
At least Ed Balls will be comfortable about the sanctity of his marriage, not even a blind police dog would want to shag the sour faced bitch he is married to.
I would.
The dog or the Alsatian ??
Both.
What’s it like to make love to a blind man, David?
I quite fancy him – I mean her.
I would. I should probably seek help, it’s been going on for over a year now but i’ve been just drinking more and trying to surpress it.
I would, as well.
I would, just to wipe the grin off Blinky’s treacherous face.
And her mouth is smaller than the face-slot I’m used to…
As the new shadow chancellor, Ed Balls will know ALL about figures – how to defraud the taxpayer with his wife, flipping homes and pocketing the money WE pay out for the scum PM’s.
Harold Macmillan thought he was safe with Dorothy, who really was an unattractive looker ( a man in drag type), but that charmer Bob Boothby had a 20 year plus affair with her. Compared to Mrs Mac. , Yvette is a beaut.
Wasn’t Boothby rat most of the time though?
I’ve got my party back!
You want to start looking for your marbles.
And we want them back!
We’re aaaawwwwiiiiiight !! We’re aaawwiiiiggghhhtt !!
Oh Yes!
She’s left the postie or she’s left the copper?
Do keep up, she’s left the copper and run off with the milkman, he’s shacked up with the civil servant.
Bliar on Trial….what a great day to bury bad news
Blair is not on trial. He is giving evidence to an inquiry whose purpose to to establish what happened in the run up to war, without attributing any blame whatsoever.
I see you’re on message
No, he’s not on trial. He’s not under oath and therefore free to lie. And he will.
Chilcott (verb) – to lightly dust with irrelevant questions and provide tea and cakes.
No I am just telling a disgusting truth. The Chilcott inquiry is not a trial. Blair is not under oath and the terms of reference are set so as not to attribute blame.
I do not agree with this situation and I believe that Blair should be charged with crimes against peace and put on trail in the Hague for his treachery, but the truth is the Chilcott inquiry is NOT a trial and Blair is not a suspect on trial. He is a former PM giving evidence to an inquiry which will NOT attach blame.
He should be on trial though.
Agreed 100%
Right now Blair is using a lie filled interview he did on Newsnight as evidence. The man is positively delusional.
Blair is being quite clear, it was as a result of 9.11 that he invaded Iraq to remove a dictator who hated Alki Ada.
Seeing Blair give evidence, reminds me why it is such a good thing that he is not Prime Minister anymore. I feel sick just watching him, the man is evil.
I would contend that is is merely a different version of reality.
Yes, but I’ve got loads of money and meet oads of celebs, and you proles haven’t and don’t.
Perjury anyone? or being economical with with the truth. There are things that we know, and things that we don’t know………………….. guess B’Liar has absorbed all Bushy’s and Dead Eye Dick’s mannerisms
We can wait,must be plenty of spare cells at The Hague clink readied just in case,Bliar,Brown ,Campbell and the rest of the war criminals are pulled and sent over to Netherlands for trial.
Blair and his family are now Irish citizens in a move designed to complicate any attempt at that.
Proof?
http://theylaughedatnoah.blogspot.com/2009/09/will-tony-blair-take-irish-nationality.html
Have a look at http://www.google.com, it’s great when you know how to use it.
It’s great when you know the difference between old speculation on a blog and things that have actually happened, too.
She has been polishing a coppers helmet !
B’doom-tssssh!
And oiling his truncheon!
But postmen have bigger sacs and always leave it on your doormat.
ergo – delivering his post
We will now have the spectacle of little ed and Big Head. He will sit in Big Head’s top pocket like a little Noddy.
Miliband has signed his own death warrant.
A new team for a new challenge. Yeah, right…….
Big Enis and little Enis ?
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSbnwdiuu51c_eIoLmuCqdbjKUPWgW5nkOncgo1TApDSWHqUL1hug&t=1
Lib-Dems!
he might be an earnetht bwethless teenage lethbian twapped in the body of an overthize middle age homunculus, but he’s my earnetht etcetewa lethbian etcetewa
Are you talking about me perchance?
… reminds me of the 1980s with the two Alliance Davids on Spitting Image, one in the pocket of the other…
except this time, one will be up the arse of the other
It’s the only reason he resigned, honest……..
He should know he wrote it for him!!!
I hope he provided protection !
and I thought that ‘hand job to Balls’ was something advertised on card in telephone boxes.
I don’t understand why he’s resigned though. Either he is reacting to a complete personal shock, in which case he deserves everyone’s sympathy, or there is something still to come out that reflects badly on him.
I would like to believe that he is actually a decent man who is in shock and pain at the betrayal by his wife and who has stepped down solely because of this, in which case he has my sympathy.
for once, I am perfectly happy to believe theres far more to this than meets the eye.
I would like to believe that too, but unfortunately I can’t!
That reply was to post #22
“…I would like to believe that he is actually a decent man who is in shock and pain…” Nope. He is a Labour politician from the Blair/Brown era. Anything he says or does will be steeped in deceit. More to come I am sure.
Of course there’s more. This is him trying to pre-empt the tabloid avalanche with a carefully managed feel-sorry-for-me story.
And get more BBC work – unique way they’re funded etc
Yes this definitely feels like he’s getting his revenge in first. Hopefully she’s turns out to be a vindictive cow like Robin Cook’s wife.
So would you be if your “ethical” “principled” husband dumped you by text after running off with his secretary. Evil little odious c u nt.
I always thought Cook dumped her in the lounge at Heathrow on their way off on holidays after getting a message from Bad Al saying “the papers know about your mistress – it’s one or the other!”.
My terminology for Mrs Cook was perhaps a bit strong above but she did make an exremely good job of publicising his heavy drinking and womanising and generally haunting him like Banquo’s ghost.
…because Bad Al told him too! Yes, not Cook’s finest moment. But she made him pay for it, big style.
“Hopefully she’s turns out to be a vindictive cow like Robin Cook’s wife.”
MIIEEOOWW!!
Balls keeping powder dry?
I was wondering where this fits in with Balls and his spad briefing against AJ.
Perhaps this is a nice bit of counterspin
Powder keeping balls dry, surely ?
Did someone mention powder
On Ball’s Balls.
I wonder if Blinky came up to the Postie and stammered something along the lines of, you’ll be all over the Sunday papers but here’s some dirt on your missus, now just sign this letter of resignation.
More to come yet
So much for Westminster rumours, huh? Is it still thought Ball’s Spad was behind this?
With everyone having affairs nowadays us singletons feel left out!
Hello sailor
I would have thought you fancied your hand on the Tiller Girls.
Luckily for us Ted the press were so much more discreet about us musical types in the 60s and 70s. It was only when I took to shooting people’s pets that it came out I was shopping on the other side of the street.
I look positively puritan compared to the current lot of Libs
Yes, we can read the papers, thank you.
Were you sold a pup last night or are you standing by that story?
Be patient, there is a LOT more of this to come out. Suspect Pat isn’t totally whiter-than-white.
People are so cynical these days when a politician is in the news that nobody believes what they say or do until it’s proved by numerous sources.
Alan Johnson was way out of his depth as shadow chancellor and was being endlessly mocked for his poor grasp of his brief.Forget who shagged who-Balls fucked him over the side ice hockey style as the appointment of AJ showed little ed to be a monged out moron with no vision or judgement whatever
very true.
It just doesn’t add up and neither can he !!
69 !
Surely there is more to this than the postman’s wife being poked by a policeman’s truncheon.
More digging, please, Guido.
We await your revelations with bated breath!
Has anyone asked the Unions what Ed should do next?
We need to know.
Where’s my schadenfreude gone….?
That word to me always looks a bit like “joy through pain”.
“The officer is now protecting Home Secretary Theresa May” says channel 4.
I bet she’s another one who goes like a shithouse door in a gale.
That’s a new word for it – I wonder who “protects” Silly Bigcow
50% of greater London. apparently.
a copper’s affair affair is dealt with in 24 hours while. Blair’s affair ( with Bush) takes years (and millions). Expenses scandal took years (and millions), cash for honours, etc ,,,, Way past time to take the ‘elite’ out of ‘political elite’.
AGREE
When constabulary duty’s to be done, to be done,
A policeman’s lot is not a happy one, happy one.
You have a little list then?
Well it’s better than the Milkman I suppose, the only other person it could have been was the Postman but she’s already done one of them!
Breaking news
Met policeman conducts his own internal investigation !
“applause”
I wonder why your comment makes me think ‘ACPO’
A perfectly justified thought Maximus. With ‘ACPO’ goes ‘sinister, self-serving and uaccountable’ in my book, but it seems that there are currently no politicians with the backbone to put them under the spotlight. Too many funny handshakes I suspect.
Too many politicians with something to hide, more likely.
That’s him fingered then!
All in each other together!
Was this a “revenge” affair ?
Possibly. Think her version will be out this weekend. Hopefully she’ll kick Pat right in the b*ll*cks.
Some hacks must know if their ‘Sunday’ will be running the ‘Postie was making first class deliveries’
Somebody had it in for him.
Whose thumb is that? and where has it been?
Just turned Blair Off…….he’s making my stomach churn.
How did such a vile cretin ever get elected ?
You can fool most of the people most of the time. Also, all but the most loyal Tory media rolled over for him to tickle their tummies.
The media totally capitulated to Blair and willingly acted as propaganda whores in his lies about WMD. They are equally to blame for the unlawful invasion taking place with British troops as Blair is.
If they had actually done their jobs and investigated the wild, delusional tin-hat conspiracy theories that Blair, Straw, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld et al were expecting us to believe, then they would have easily debunked the WMD threat bullshit inside a day. People writing blogs from pocket change managed to debunk most of it at the time. The media called those bloggers delusional conspiracy theorists and tinfoil hat wearing loons.
The mainstream media was not just ‘asleep at the wheel’, they were positively colluding with the government to spread lie-filled propaganda and cover-up and discredit truthful debunking in the blogosphere.
I am and always will remain utterly disgusted at the mainstream media for its role in our road to war in Iraq!
The Westminster “hacks” were so frightened of being excluded from briefings by Campbell that they just printed what they were told without questioning it. They should be ashamed of themselves. It all started within hours of Blair being elected in 97 when they reported that Tony and Cherie were cheered by all night revellers as they walked up Downing Street and to a man the incompetents knew that the so called revellers were party workers in Moss Bros suits. Their incompetence beggars belief and here we are two wars later and bankrupt.
By which you mean he made a Faustian bargain with Rupert Murdoch.
You mean like this?
Gordon Brown was the alternative choice.
Savaloy for lunch?
Or a chipolata?
Does this revelation not prove that your last post was entirely based on your own speculation. Who were providing the apparent rumours in Westminster. Was it just you?
No, Guido was harrangued to publish but he didn’t so…..
It is possible that they both had affairs, twit.
There is no deficit. We just ‘overshot the runway a bit’
Labours shadow cabinet are now in full possession of WMD ‘s.
Weapons of Mass Denial
It was not the usual Tax, Borrow and Waste dogma of the Liebour party.
It was simply the exuberance of investment.
We just got carried away in the heat of the moment. Just a shame that we didn’t see the bust coming
Slightly in defecit is the same as slightly pregnant.
They didn’t chalk up the biggest deficit in history, they simply spent vast amounts of money “in lieu of future income” and allowed their outgoings to “get a bit ahead of their incomings.”
It was just a slight misjudgement.
The Tory led coalition are cutting too hard too fast.
We will come up with a plan that will cut the deficit in half in four years without actually explaining how we will do it. Our friends in the BBC will help us by not questioning us, but just go along with the illusion that we give a shit and know what we are doing.
Poor old Postie, still he will eventually see we were doing the right thing by framing him.
He didn’t overshoot her runway…
There’s close and there’s way too close.
Although AJ is a lightweight in political terms, I wish him and Mrs Johnson well.
oh come on, he’s a fucking politician … what’s the matter with you?
From initial reports it looks like the missus who was doing the fucking…
Honest, Mr Johnson, your wife was just helping me by testing the handcuffs.
It’s all a misunderstanding he was only taking down her particulars
Johnson’s counter-spin story concocted here:
http://fxbites.blogspot.com/2011/01/chateauneuf-du-vat.html
‘Look out George Osborne, Bruiser Balls has been let off the chain ‘
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/2011/01/21/look-out-george-osborne-bruiser-balls-has-been-let-off-the-chain-115875-22864292/
I’m a bullyboy, not a bruiser.
‘Look out George Osborne, Son Of Brown has been let off the chain ‘
Piff off. I am the son of Brown.
“We’re not”, said Sarah Brown’s kids.
That article is a tad biased,hard to believe there is an eduacated person living today that deems it safe to ever let Balls into the treasury while still alive
Maquire the ultimate socialist poodle, the self styled geordie who loves Newcastle so much he doesn’t live there.
Did I read he prefers a “cottage.”?
First job in CCHQ this morning: clearing up all the empty champagne bottles opened after yesterdays shadow reshuffle.
Sarah, why do you spend so much time away from home travelling with my police protection officer?
Because he has a 14in truncheon and a large bobbys helmet!
More likely because she had a 14 inch strap-on , could lick her eyebrows and breathe through her ears.
Conspiracy theorists convene Fridays conference on Guido Fawkes Blog.
Nonsense we’re here 24/7.
Have had to order a new job lot of pants off Gideon who has, apparently, soiled 6 pairs since 6 o’clock last night.
David Davis has started a book on how long Gudeon will last before he invents some reason for stepping down as Chancellor. Even money that he’ll be gone before the end of the year. Have stuck a monkey on that myself
loser
That’s the easiest five hundred quid we’ve ever made.
Kiss goodbye to your monkey.
If he’s needed to change his keks it’s because he couldn’t stop pissing himself laughing.
8 months after the election we’ve got Gordon’s Gang of Four back in the Shadow Cabinet with a faceless, spineless loon as puppet head of the Looting Parteh.
PLeeeeeeeease can I be a Liebour MP now ????
No you’ll see, Ed Balls is a fucking twat
Yeah, we saw him for 15 years and mind our own mind up, thank you.
If anyone has Balls constantly on their mind, it’s you….
And why have you tilted your head like a curious Labrador responding to the word ‘sausages…?
Twat…!!
All because the lady loves “sausages”
Should read stupid stupid woman. Thank you for the opportunity to re iterate this fact.
Let me guess Sally, You are another fuckwit who pays off your credit card balance every month, …
… With your credit card?
A wonderful what?
“She has left him …”
Who, the fecking copper or the postie?
We need to know!
“We were probably the most successful centre-left govt in the world.” Blair bigs up Blair.
Successfully avoiding prosecutions yes
..until you take a look at his centre left govt’s accounts….
What’s that got to do with Iraq?
Supporting Iraq and it’s consequences bankrupted us – silly boy.
Maybe he couldnt empty his sack anymore?
Its as if Gordon and Damian never left the Labour party
OK. I see where I went wrong….
Daily mash. better than yesterday.
Tom Logan, professor of politics at Reading University, said: “Osborne versus Balls. Squeaking at each other. On telly. Every day.
“detective Rice is such a fucking dick.”
So, Labour is now a Two Eded party?
Labour is ‘edding for oblivion
Cast Iron Cameron is certainly giving him a hiding in the polls.
Two Ed’s, both with track records of shafting their own.
Smeg-Ed and sh*t-Ed…
Ed squared
Red Ed and Bollock Ed
Two Eds ?? Bit like the Chimera, I’d say.
What sort of a monster is it – 2 heads and a Gorgon !
A monster with two Eds, Aristotle.
Brain dead Ed?
That’s enuf Ed.
I am the Ed of the labour party. Balls is not even my deputy Ed.
That’s two marriages Prat has managed to fuck up (two of his own, that is).
The only surprise is that he hasn’t been outed as gay yet.
I’ve been working on that – just give me a bit more time. I can always tell if a man has tendencies – it just requires a bit of work to bring them out sometimes
“Explain why you sold gold, gordon brown told.”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/investing/gold/7511589/Explain-why-you-sold-Britains-gold-Gordon-Brown-told.html
Did we ever get an explanation? And how much did Ed know about all of this at the time?
Cue tractor statistics !!
This might be too generous but there is one reason that could have contributed: a lack of pessimism.
* Gold is useful when there’s a crisis.
* There weren’t going to be any more crises ever again.
* So Gold isn’t useful.
Its the whole “spending will be paid for by future growth” stuff Brown used to say. And with thanks to Heseltine: “its Balls”.
Just remember: even in 2007 no-one thought things would go as badly wrong as they did.
They call that ‘hubris’, don’t they ??
Future growth is the cheques in the post to you and me
Is there any truth in the rumour that Gordon Brown is to be offered a Directorship of “Ocean Finance”?
Yes. It was going to be a full time appointment for 2 years, but is now 2 days a week for 20 years.
No I think it’s Wonga.com
while I’m at it: Can Balls get the blame for that?
Please?
Does anyone know what has happened to Craig Murray? His blog has died.
Does anyone know what has happened to Craig Murray? His blog has died.
Echo !!!!
Thank God for that, I didn’t sleep a wink last night worrying.
So who is the New in the New generation ?
Bruce Forsyth.
Sauce/goose/gander.
Or prerhaps it’s different in Ireland.
Never trust a copper.
… like an old time special when you can’t find your way home.
More to the point. Did Ed offer his brother the job before appointing Ed?
Deficit is such a negative word. We prefer to say ‘investment adjustment’
Shadow Cabinet sources and rumour has it that Tony Blair is having an affair with Lady Gaga.
It must be true.
Gordon is behind me all the way.
This is an example of a politician resigning so that he can spend less time with his family…
Coulson’s gone:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1349239/Camerons-communications-chief-Coulson-quits.html
BBC going into overdrive interviewing Balls on World at One (more biased than even the Toady Programme which is a very high bar) and of course Coulson will get the treatment.
So World at One under Shaun Ley has the opportunity to raise the pro-loony left wing bias bar to a new world record for the BBC.
Why has Johnson got a police protection officer in the first place?
He doesn’t. But his wife “had” one.
Where else in the world is it possible to find such a concentration of lying thieving scumbags as the HoC.
At the Oil Drum blog (‘CCS’ = Carbon Capture and Storage) – they reckon the lights will be going out by 2015 unless Call Me Dave does a u-turn:
“In China, new Westinghouse-designed, AP1000 reactors are being delivered in three years at a cost that is reliably reported of $1500 per kW; this is even less than a new coal-fired plant without CCS. (This is the same UK state owned Westinghouse that was sold by Gordon Brown’s government for a paltry £5 billion just two years ago to Japan’s Toshiba – an act of economic vandalism comparable to his sale of a third of Britain’s gold reserves at the bottom of the market in 2003 in favour of Euro-denominated assets.)”
All very well but GF still hasn’t clarified whether the “twist” is a complication to, or a correction of, his original explanation of the postie’s departure.
And are we still accusing the gonadal one of spinning against AJ, or is he now acquitted of this, whilst still, obviously, having been previously convicted of crashing the world economy and being an all round hoon.
I’ve got to say that Guido is reacting to the scurrilous gossip rather than unearthing it. I could have got all of this from BBC News 24, minus all the ignorant foul-mouthed hateful comment, so where would have been the fun in that?
But wait! “Alan Johnson’s suspected affair with a civil servant was widely rumoured around Westminster, it was the reason that people believed that he had not run for leader. The story was kept out of the papers – until now.”
Has the story changed then?
Naughty, Naughty,Policeman caught leaving deposits in the ”letterbox” normaly reserved for ”postman pratt”