January 21st, 2011

What is Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander

In a twist to the usual story the Mail is reporting that Laura Johnson is having an affair with Alan Johnson’s police protection officer.

Paul Rice, an experienced detective constable,  is expected to be suspended from duty within 24 hours.

She has left him…


252 Comments

  1. 1

    Policemans pension is bigger than a postmans. simple

  2. 2
    Fenrir says:

    At least Ed Balls will be comfortable about the sanctity of his marriage, not even a blind police dog would want to shag the sour faced bitch he is married to.

  3. 3
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ve got my party back!

  4. 4
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    She’s left the postie or she’s left the copper?

    • 93
      NeverRed says:

      Do keep up, she’s left the copper and run off with the milkman, he’s shacked up with the civil servant.

  5. 7
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Bliar on Trial….what a great day to bury bad news

    • 17
      misterned says:

      Blair is not on trial. He is giving evidence to an inquiry whose purpose to to establish what happened in the run up to war, without attributing any blame whatsoever.

      • 28
        Fees Office Clerk says:

        I see you’re on message

        • 39
          Anna Tolia says:

          No, he’s not on trial. He’s not under oath and therefore free to lie. And he will.

          • Dick the Prick says:

            Chilcott (verb) – to lightly dust with irrelevant questions and provide tea and cakes.

        • 73
          misterned says:

          No I am just telling a disgusting truth. The Chilcott inquiry is not a trial. Blair is not under oath and the terms of reference are set so as not to attribute blame.

          I do not agree with this situation and I believe that Blair should be charged with crimes against peace and put on trail in the Hague for his treachery, but the truth is the Chilcott inquiry is NOT a trial and Blair is not a suspect on trial. He is a former PM giving evidence to an inquiry which will NOT attach blame.

      • 30
        Great British Public says:

        He should be on trial though.

        • 91
          misterned says:

          Agreed 100%

          Right now Blair is using a lie filled interview he did on Newsnight as evidence. The man is positively delusional.

          • NeverRed says:

            Blair is being quite clear, it was as a result of 9.11 that he invaded Iraq to remove a dictator who hated Alki Ada.

          • misterned says:

            Seeing Blair give evidence, reminds me why it is such a good thing that he is not Prime Minister anymore. I feel sick just watching him, the man is evil.

          • Tony B Liar says:

            I would contend that is is merely a different version of reality.

          • T Blair - soon to be Lord God Almighty Blair says:

            Yes, but I’ve got loads of money and meet oads of celebs, and you proles haven’t and don’t.

        • 247
          Anonymous says:

          Perjury anyone? or being economical with with the truth. There are things that we know, and things that we don’t know………………….. guess B’Liar has absorbed all Bushy’s and Dead Eye Dick’s mannerisms

      • 35
        Eeu to me says:

        We can wait,must be plenty of spare cells at The Hague clink readied just in case,Bliar,Brown ,Campbell and the rest of the war criminals are pulled and sent over to Netherlands for trial.

  6. 9
    ALAN JOHNSON MP says:

    She has been polishing a coppers helmet !

  7. 11
    anonymouse says:

    We will now have the spectacle of little ed and Big Head. He will sit in Big Head’s top pocket like a little Noddy.

    Miliband has signed his own death warrant.

  8. 13
    Alistair Campbell says:

    It’s the only reason he resigned, honest……..

  9. 15
    ALAN JOHNSON MP says:

    I hope he provided protection !

    • 124
      Bob Frost says:

      and I thought that ‘hand job to Balls’ was something advertised on card in telephone boxes.

  10. 16
    Anonymous says:

    I don’t understand why he’s resigned though. Either he is reacting to a complete personal shock, in which case he deserves everyone’s sympathy, or there is something still to come out that reflects badly on him.

    • 23
      misterned says:

      I would like to believe that he is actually a decent man who is in shock and pain at the betrayal by his wife and who has stepped down solely because of this, in which case he has my sympathy.

      • 29
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        for once, I am perfectly happy to believe theres far more to this than meets the eye.

      • 37
        Colonel Blimp says:

        I would like to believe that too, but unfortunately I can’t!

      • 105
        South of the M4 says:

        “…I would like to believe that he is actually a decent man who is in shock and pain…” Nope. He is a Labour politician from the Blair/Brown era. Anything he says or does will be steeped in deceit. More to come I am sure.

    • 24
      Anonymous says:

      Of course there’s more. This is him trying to pre-empt the tabloid avalanche with a carefully managed feel-sorry-for-me story.

      • 66
        Dick the Prick says:

        And get more BBC work – unique way they’re funded etc

      • 111
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

        Yes this definitely feels like he’s getting his revenge in first. Hopefully she’s turns out to be a vindictive cow like Robin Cook’s wife.

        • 154
          The truth about cook says:

          So would you be if your “ethical” “principled” husband dumped you by text after running off with his secretary. Evil little odious c u nt.

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            I always thought Cook dumped her in the lounge at Heathrow on their way off on holidays after getting a message from Bad Al saying “the papers know about your mistress – it’s one or the other!”.

            My terminology for Mrs Cook was perhaps a bit strong above but she did make an exremely good job of publicising his heavy drinking and womanising and generally haunting him like Banquo’s ghost.

          • Anonymous says:

            …because Bad Al told him too! Yes, not Cook’s finest moment. But she made him pay for it, big style.

        • 180
          Number 10's Cat says:

          “Hopefully she’s turns out to be a vindictive cow like Robin Cook’s wife.”

          MIIEEOOWW!!

    • 26
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Balls keeping powder dry?

      I was wondering where this fits in with Balls and his spad briefing against AJ.
      Perhaps this is a nice bit of counterspin

    • 143
      Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

      More to come yet

  11. 20
    Johan says:

    So much for Westminster rumours, huh? Is it still thought Ball’s Spad was behind this?

  12. 22
    Aneurin Bevan says:

    With everyone having affairs nowadays us singletons feel left out!

    • 36
      Ted Heath says:

      Hello sailor

      • 177
        P. Doff says:

        I would have thought you fancied your hand on the Tiller Girls.

      • 186
        Jeremy Thorpe says:

        Luckily for us Ted the press were so much more discreet about us musical types in the 60s and 70s. It was only when I took to shooting people’s pets that it came out I was shopping on the other side of the street.

        I look positively puritan compared to the current lot of Libs

  13. 25
    John Page says:

    Yes, we can read the papers, thank you.

    Were you sold a pup last night or are you standing by that story?

    • 32
      Anonymous says:

      Be patient, there is a LOT more of this to come out. Suspect Pat isn’t totally whiter-than-white.

      • 58
        Eeu to me says:

        People are so cynical these days when a politician is in the news that nobody believes what they say or do until it’s proved by numerous sources.

        • 96
          Citizen KY says:

          Alan Johnson was way out of his depth as shadow chancellor and was being endlessly mocked for his poor grasp of his brief.Forget who shagged who-Balls fucked him over the side ice hockey style as the appointment of AJ showed little ed to be a monged out moron with no vision or judgement whatever

  14. 31
    Postman Prat says:

    69 !

  15. 33
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Surely there is more to this than the postman’s wife being poked by a policeman’s truncheon.
    More digging, please, Guido.
    We await your revelations with bated breath!

  16. 34
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    Has anyone asked the Unions what Ed should do next?

    We need to know.

  17. 38

    Where’s my schadenfreude gone….?

  18. 41
    pissed off voter says:

    a copper’s affair affair is dealt with in 24 hours while. Blair’s affair ( with Bush) takes years (and millions). Expenses scandal took years (and millions), cash for honours, etc ,,,, Way past time to take the ‘elite’ out of ‘political elite’.

  19. 43
    Gilbert and Sullivan says:

    When constabulary duty’s to be done, to be done,
    A policeman’s lot is not a happy one, happy one.

  20. 44
    PD77 says:

    Well it’s better than the Milkman I suppose, the only other person it could have been was the Postman but she’s already done one of them!

  21. 45
    ALAN JOHNSON MP says:

    Breaking news
    Met policeman conducts his own internal investigation !

  22. 48
    Taxfodder says:

    All in each other together!

  23. 50
    Only askin' says:

    Was this a “revenge” affair ?

  24. 51
    We should be told says:

    Whose thumb is that? and where has it been?

  25. 54
    I says:

    Just turned Blair Off…….he’s making my stomach churn.

    • 63
      ALAN JOHNSON MP says:

      How did such a vile cretin ever get elected ?

      • 81
        Sir William Waad says:

        You can fool most of the people most of the time. Also, all but the most loyal Tory media rolled over for him to tickle their tummies.

        • 137
          misterned says:

          The media totally capitulated to Blair and willingly acted as propaganda whores in his lies about WMD. They are equally to blame for the unlawful invasion taking place with British troops as Blair is.

          If they had actually done their jobs and investigated the wild, delusional tin-hat conspiracy theories that Blair, Straw, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld et al were expecting us to believe, then they would have easily debunked the WMD threat bullshit inside a day. People writing blogs from pocket change managed to debunk most of it at the time. The media called those bloggers delusional conspiracy theorists and tinfoil hat wearing loons.

          The mainstream media was not just ‘asleep at the wheel’, they were positively colluding with the government to spread lie-filled propaganda and cover-up and discredit truthful debunking in the blogosphere.

          I am and always will remain utterly disgusted at the mainstream media for its role in our road to war in Iraq!

          • Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

            The Westminster “hacks” were so frightened of being excluded from briefings by Campbell that they just printed what they were told without questioning it. They should be ashamed of themselves. It all started within hours of Blair being elected in 97 when they reported that Tony and Cherie were cheered by all night revellers as they walked up Downing Street and to a man the incompetents knew that the so called revellers were party workers in Moss Bros suits. Their incompetence beggars belief and here we are two wars later and bankrupt.

        • 140
          Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

          By which you mean he made a Faustian bargain with Rupert Murdoch.

      • 85
        RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

        Gordon Brown was the alternative choice.

  26. 55
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Savaloy for lunch?

  27. 62
    Nathan says:

    Does this revelation not prove that your last post was entirely based on your own speculation. Who were providing the apparent rumours in Westminster. Was it just you?

  28. 66
    Ed² says:

    There is no deficit. We just ‘overshot the runway a bit’

    • 76
      Anonymous says:

      Labours shadow cabinet are now in full possession of WMD ‘s.
      Weapons of Mass Denial

    • 90
      Ed Bollokov ( Son of Brown, Deficit-Admirer-in Chief ) says:

      It was not the usual Tax, Borrow and Waste dogma of the Liebour party.

      It was simply the exuberance of investment.

    • 130
      The cheque is in the post says:

      They didn’t chalk up the biggest deficit in history, they simply spent vast amounts of money “in lieu of future income” and allowed their outgoings to “get a bit ahead of their incomings.”

      • 148
        Ed² says:

        It was just a slight misjudgement.
        The Tory led coalition are cutting too hard too fast.
        We will come up with a plan that will cut the deficit in half in four years without actually explaining how we will do it. Our friends in the BBC will help us by not questioning us, but just go along with the illusion that we give a shit and know what we are doing.
        Poor old Postie, still he will eventually see we were doing the right thing by framing him.

    • 132
      Tony B Liar says:

      He didn’t overshoot her runway…

  29. 72
    Name lost due to cache clearing tragedy says:

    There’s close and there’s way too close.

    Although AJ is a lightweight in political terms, I wish him and Mrs Johnson well.

  30. 74
    A Copper says:

    Honest, Mr Johnson, your wife was just helping me by testing the handcuffs.

  31. 77
  32. 87
    • 94
      Ed Bollokov ( Son of Brown, Deficit-Admirer-in Chief ) says:

      I’m a bullyboy, not a bruiser.

    • 99
      Stan Butler says:

      ‘Look out George Osborne, Son Of Brown has been let off the chain ‘

    • 120
      Citizen KY says:

      That article is a tad biased,hard to believe there is an eduacated person living today that deems it safe to ever let Balls into the treasury while still alive

    • 170
      Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

      Maquire the ultimate socialist poodle, the self styled geordie who loves Newcastle so much he doesn’t live there.

    • 220
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      First job in CCHQ this morning: clearing up all the empty champagne bottles opened after yesterdays shadow reshuffle.

  33. 92
    Gordon says:

    Sarah, why do you spend so much time away from home travelling with my police protection officer?

    • 107
      Stan Butler says:

      Because he has a 14in truncheon and a large bobbys helmet!

      • 167
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

        More likely because she had a 14 inch strap-on , could lick her eyebrows and breathe through her ears.

  34. 95
    TodaysNews says:

    Conspiracy theorists convene Fridays conference on Guido Fawkes Blog.

  35. 100
    Andy Coulson's monkey says:

    Have had to order a new job lot of pants off Gideon who has, apparently, soiled 6 pairs since 6 o’clock last night.

    David Davis has started a book on how long Gudeon will last before he invents some reason for stepping down as Chancellor. Even money that he’ll be gone before the end of the year. Have stuck a monkey on that myself

  36. 104
    Jockstrap Sally says:
  37. 115

    “She has left him …”
    Who, the fecking copper or the postie?
    We need to know!

  38. 118
    Steve Miliband says:

    “We were probably the most successful centre-left govt in the world.” Blair bigs up Blair.

  39. 127
    bbitgu says:

    Maybe he couldnt empty his sack anymore?

  40. 138
    bbitgu says:

    Its as if Gordon and Damian never left the Labour party

  41. 139
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    OK. I see where I went wrong….

    Daily mash. better than yesterday.

    Tom Logan, professor of politics at Reading University, said: “Osborne versus Balls. Squeaking at each other. On telly. Every day.

    detective Rice is such a fucking dick.”

  42. 141
    Schizo says:

    So, Labour is now a Two Eded party?

  43. 146
    Cynical, moi? says:

    That’s two marriages Prat has managed to fuck up (two of his own, that is).
    The only surprise is that he hasn’t been outed as gay yet.

    • 169
      Lord Rumba of Rio says:

      I’ve been working on that – just give me a bit more time. I can always tell if a man has tendencies – it just requires a bit of work to bring them out sometimes

  44. 151
    Goldilocks says:

    “Explain why you sold gold, gordon brown told.”

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/investing/gold/7511589/Explain-why-you-sold-Britains-gold-Gordon-Brown-told.html

    Did we ever get an explanation? And how much did Ed know about all of this at the time?

    • 156
      Ed Bollokov ( Son of Brown, Deficit-Admirer-in Chief ) says:

      Cue tractor statistics !!

    • 183
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      This might be too generous but there is one reason that could have contributed: a lack of pessimism.

      * Gold is useful when there’s a crisis.
      * There weren’t going to be any more crises ever again.
      * So Gold isn’t useful.

      Its the whole “spending will be paid for by future growth” stuff Brown used to say. And with thanks to Heseltine: “its Balls”.

      Just remember: even in 2007 no-one thought things would go as badly wrong as they did.

    • 212
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      while I’m at it: Can Balls get the blame for that?
      Please?

  45. 152
    robbie says:

    Does anyone know what has happened to Craig Murray? His blog has died.

  46. 157
    robbie says:

    Does anyone know what has happened to Craig Murray? His blog has died.

  47. 174
    bbitgu says:

    So who is the New in the New generation ?

  48. 188
    Idioms'R'Us says:

    Sauce/goose/gander.
    Or prerhaps it’s different in Ireland.

  49. 190
    Ancient Proverb says:

    Never trust a copper.

  50. 204
    Did Ed phone David first? says:

    More to the point. Did Ed offer his brother the job before appointing Ed?

  51. 206
    Ed² says:

    Deficit is such a negative word. We prefer to say ‘investment adjustment’

  52. 208
    "In a twist to the usual story" says:

    Shadow Cabinet sources and rumour has it that Tony Blair is having an affair with Lady Gaga.

    It must be true.

  53. 211
    Balls for Britain! says:

    Gordon is behind me all the way.

  54. 225
    John Wiltshire says:

    This is an example of a politician resigning so that he can spend less time with his family…

  55. 226
  56. 231
    Cassandrina says:

    BBC going into overdrive interviewing Balls on World at One (more biased than even the Toady Programme which is a very high bar) and of course Coulson will get the treatment.
    So World at One under Shaun Ley has the opportunity to raise the pro-loony left wing bias bar to a new world record for the BBC.

  57. 232
    geekparent says:

    Why has Johnson got a police protection officer in the first place?

  58. 238
    Any Answers? says:

    Where else in the world is it possible to find such a concentration of lying thieving scumbags as the HoC.

  59. 248
    Laban says:

    At the Oil Drum blog (‘CCS’ = Carbon Capture and Storage) – they reckon the lights will be going out by 2015 unless Call Me Dave does a u-turn:

    “In China, new Westinghouse-designed, AP1000 reactors are being delivered in three years at a cost that is reliably reported of $1500 per kW; this is even less than a new coal-fired plant without CCS. (This is the same UK state owned Westinghouse that was sold by Gordon Brown’s government for a paltry £5 billion just two years ago to Japan’s Toshiba – an act of economic vandalism comparable to his sale of a third of Britain’s gold reserves at the bottom of the market in 2003 in favour of Euro-denominated assets.)”

  60. 249
    FourEyedJockMong says:

    All very well but GF still hasn’t clarified whether the “twist” is a complication to, or a correction of, his original explanation of the postie’s departure.

    And are we still accusing the gonadal one of spinning against AJ, or is he now acquitted of this, whilst still, obviously, having been previously convicted of crashing the world economy and being an all round hoon.

    I’ve got to say that Guido is reacting to the scurrilous gossip rather than unearthing it. I could have got all of this from BBC News 24, minus all the ignorant foul-mouthed hateful comment, so where would have been the fun in that?

  61. 251
    Anonymous says:

    But wait! “Alan Johnson’s suspected affair with a civil servant was widely rumoured around Westminster, it was the reason that people believed that he had not run for leader. The story was kept out of the papers – until now.”

    Has the story changed then?

  62. 252
    Anonymous says:

    Naughty, Naughty,Policeman caught leaving deposits in the ”letterbox” normaly reserved for ”postman pratt”


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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