January 21st, 2011

Front Runners to Replace Coulson

Back in September (GPW Hotly Tipped for Post-Coulson Downing Street) Guido put a few names forward as potential successors to Andy Coulson. The same names are in the frame again. Former Indy deputy editor Ian Birrell seems to be Steve Hilton’s preferred choice, he is apparently liked and trusted by Cameron. George Pascoe Watson, the former Sun man now spinning at Portland, is mentioned, however  replacing one former Murdoch man with another could be problematic.

Ben Brogan, despite much speculation, insists he is not in the running.  Another name mentioned is Guto Harri, currently spinning for Boris, he is known to fancy going to Downing Street. The BBC’s James Landale shouldn’t be ruled out – he is an Old Etonian after all – don’t be surprised if you next see him in No. 10 rather than reporting from outside it. Modesty forbids Guido suggesting another combative tabloid-tuned, right-winger who likes taking the fight to Labour…


  1. 1
    Bad Al says:

    My CV is in the post

  2. 2
    Steve Miliband says:

    Now that’s entertainment!

  3. 3
    bbitgu says:

    Throwingbya hat in the ring Guido ?

  4. 4
    Alan Johnson says:

    Not for long.

  5. 5
    bbitgu says:

    I have heard its going to be Carlos Tevez ……….

  6. 6
    Dolly Draper says:

    Me, Me!

    Pick me!

  7. 7
    Voter says:

    “James Landale shouldn’t be ruled out – he is an Old Etonian after all”


    scheming bastards the lot of ‘em

  8. 8
    Red 'Ed & Thick 'Ed says:

    You can’t beat Tom Badwin. Sniff

  9. 9
    pong says:

    Be the one Guido.

  10. 10
    Sweaty Balls says:

    Are they any good?

  11. 11
    Johan says:

    Go Guido!

  12. 12
    Gonk says:

    Can you do two jobs at once ?

  13. 13
    They Huffed and Puffed, Coulson Still Standing says:

    “What has been a politically motivated attack by enemies of the Murdoch press was bound to fail without a smoking gun, however much they huffed and puffed.

    It has played out pretty much as Guido predicted last year (see Coulson’s Guilt). Punters now give Coulson a 96% chance of surviving…”

  14. 14
    The big D says:

    If Cameron was smart he would have you on the inside pissing out, not the other way round.

  15. 15

    Was your photo shot in the shadows because of artistic license or vanity….?

    The ‘about to fiddle with cuffs’ pose, suggests the latter…

    Any caption comp today…?

  16. 16
    Cabinet sources tell me it's... says:

    Anne Widdecombe!

  17. 17
    Voter says:

    none of these people are elected are they? Yet they have access to the highest places in the state machinery. Often they are mates of the politicians with not necessarily any credible experience of what they are to do. Wonderful isn’t it how the politicians take on these advisors, loads of them, all at OUR EXPENSE and totally unaccountable to the public

  18. 18
    lolol says:

    After his astonishing Postie exclusive it’s a sure thing.

  19. 19
    renaldo says:

    Wide angle lens needed for that photo of you Guy!!

  20. 20
    bbitgu says:

    Lord Gower ???

  21. 21
    observer says:

    I don’t know any of these characters but we need
    someone crossbred with a pitbull to tear Labour a new one.

  22. 22
    bbitgu says:

    Hey , tory Bear could get a job doing that !

  23. 23
    SB says:

  24. 24
    bbitgu says:

    Good point CP

    Caption Comp Slim ?

  25. 25
    Plod says:

    Mines in the posties wife

  26. 26
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    I can’t even do one job at once.

  27. 27
    Joss Taskin says:

    Why the fuck do politicians need spin doctors ???? Look at the mess people such as Alyingstare Campbell and now Coulson leave in their wake ????

  28. 28
    Peter Grimes says:

    The caption would be

    ‘Guess how many pies I’ve just eaten (in 2001 when the photo was taken!)’

  29. 29
    bbitgu says:

    aye lad , I asked this on preivous thread , win the debate with ideas not bullshit

  30. 30
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    job done.

    A: So their names can be pinned to cock ups rather than blaming it all on the people who actually made the decisions.

  31. 31
    bbitgu says:

    The EU ?

  32. 32
    Brown Broadcasting Company says:

    WTF…WatO all over Coulson…extended the b’cast to 13:45…that’s usually for a Royal Death!!!

  33. 33
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Old Holborn for Chief Spin Doctor !!!

    BTW, on this busy day, let’s not forget that Tony Blair’s a c|_|nt.

  34. 34
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Guido’s a right-winger. No place for him in Downing St. Mrs Dale might be up for the job though.

  35. 35
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Cameron isn’t smart, but he is vindictive.

  36. 36
    Mandy says:

    I would prefer his helmet.

  37. 37
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Bring back Norman!

  38. 38
    bbitgu says:

    Polly Tynbee ?

  39. 39
    Gonk says:

    Someone really hard. Now that the phony war’s over
    and ‘Balls dropped’ back in the hot seat they’ll have to
    work for their money. Sort of like a nightclub bouncer
    who can read a bit.

  40. 40
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    What a happy day.

  41. 41
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Am surprised that Al Beeb haven’t played Berlioz’s Marche au supplice on the defenestration of Coulson.

    Can anyone recall when a leading Labour or Tory politician left the front benches because his wife was playing away?

  42. 42
    Dick Scratcher says:

    I thought Landale was seriously ill with cancer? (No joke)

  43. 43
    Archer Karcher says:

    ‘If Cameron was smart’

    Which of course he demonstrates constantly, he isn’t.

  44. 44
    bbitgu2 says:

    I want a million to leave Katie Price alone.

  45. 45
    bbitgu says:

    it could be Tim Lovejoy……..

  46. 46
    Brown Broadcasting Company says:

    Bollox on WatO being allowed to spray shite economics about Liebour record like a gatling gun!!!


  47. 47
    P. Doff says:

    Everyone would dance rings around her!

  48. 48
    bbitgu says:

    Yeah , Looks like he got better .

  49. 49
    JMR says:

    I heard from a ‘reliable’ source that old master of spin, Tony Blair, is in with a chance. He did after all, manage to sell sand to the Arabs and is currently managing to sell crap to the Chilcot enquiry.

  50. 50
    Archer Karcher says:

    Set Norman on the BBC, tough love is the answer there.

  51. 51
    Dr JG Brown says:

    I can do two jobbies at once.

  52. 52
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    the interviewer did say that his fingers were all over the stupid policies of the labour party. (didnt mention gold though).

  53. 53
    Horse and Hounds correspondent says:

    What is wrong with Hacking?

    Thousands of people do it everyday along lanes, bridal paths and across fields.

    They’ll want to ban hunting next.

  54. 54
    Archer Karcher says:

    A rather cowardly way to proceed, surely one must have the courage of ones convictions? Oh wait, modern politics is not about ideas and ideals any more is it? It has been reduced to a management process.

  55. 55
    Ed² says:

    We at the Institute of Deficit Denial will publish our economic policy once we have cleared it with the Unions and Gordon.

  56. 56
    Backwoodsman says:

    Probably used to shut postie in the boot of the car, then give her one on the back seat.

  57. 57
    Archer Karcher says:

    Let us not forget either, the clowns who effectively got him off the hook. Cameron and Co.

  58. 58
    david1 says:

    I do hope that when Coulson goes down the same route as his ex-royal reporter, Cammo will be able to find some time to visit him in the, ‘Johnathan Aitken Suite’ at Ford open prison.

  59. 59
    Voter says:

    …. and of course, they’re all rich, seriously wealthy man

  60. 60
    You can't take the 'B.O.' out of Labour says:

    WTF ?????????!!!!!!

  61. 61
    One of the Great Unwashed says:

    Radio 5 Live is still banging on Coulson resignation,as they cut away again, they have now dragged out that annal reject Prescot, instead of staying the Chilcot enquirey which only has about 30 mins before it ends for the day, as Bliar tries to spin, evade and doing what he has a masters degree in machiavellian, mendacity.

    When will the Culture Secretary finally do something about this blatant biased LieLabour Propaganda Machine in total breach of its charter ?

  62. 62
    Bogeyman says:

    Cameron must find a replacement for Coulson quickly – a good one who can handle the Marxist-Leninist BBC.

    Why? The outcome of elections is determined these days by benefit junkies, infantile stewdents at euwnee, chavs, chavettes with fatherless “little princesses” to scream at in Asda car park, union boneheads and ethnic activists, wannabee footballers and gangsta rap “artists”, Strictly Come Celebrity Detox addicts and pee-doh-file vigilantes.

    The collective IQ of these people leaves them highly susceptible to the outpourings of Al-Jabeeb. We are counting on the Tories to put them straight.

  63. 63
    David Cheater says:

    Fuck off. I’m in there.

  64. 64

    Rick Nobinson – 200:1
    Smears Porgan – 1000:1
    Highground Heiffer 350:1
    Ron Jedwood 160:1
    Penny Dreadful 120:1
    Bally Serpico 120:1
    James Kockup 45:1
    Sunny Holdall 12:1
    Miriam O’Reilly 14:1
    Iain Dale 3:1
    Peter Mandleslime 1:2

  65. 65
    Postlethwaite says:

    Isn’t it subjunctive case?

    ‘If Cameron were smart’

    But he is always well turned out so it should be ‘if he is smart’

  66. 66
    Urban Tory says:

    I would give my left nut for Guido to take the job, It’d probably be a pay cut bet hey!
    Let Harry run the blog and put your hat in

  67. 67
    John Toulouse Presclott says:

    So can I.

  68. 68
    John Ward says:

    You read it here first…


    My top five:
    Russell Brand, Jon Cruddas, Fred Goodwin, Bob Diamond, Simon Hughes

  69. 69
    Gerry Mandering says:

    Twas alway so.

    The demise (of the Roman Empire) was “decadence, monetary trouble, and military problems”

    Did they have spinners then?

  70. 70
  71. 71
    Stepfordwife says:

    I wonder why he didn’t wait until Monday so they could let Alan Johnson’s and Tony Bliar’s dirt dominate the day.

    Seems an odd thing for a master spinner to do to his own party …

  72. 72
    david1 says:


    Could it be that there might be something in a Sunday newspaper that may not be to Coulson’s advantage, and he was tipped off?

    Lest we forget.

    News of the World royal editor Clive Goodman was today sentenced to four months in jail after pleading guilty to intercepting phone messages.

    His co-conspirator Glenn Mulcaire was sentenced to six months.

    The judge, Mr Justice Gross, described Goodman and Mulcaire’s behaviour as “low conduct, reprehensible in the extreme”.

    He said Goodman had been motivated by “career advancement and protection”.

    “Neither journalist nor private security consultants are above the law,” the judge said.

    “This case was not about press freedom; it was about a grave, inexcusable and illegal invasion of privacy.

    “It was not pushing at the limits, or at the cusp: it was plainly on the wrong side of the line. It is essential for the decency of our public life that conduct of this kind is clearly marked as unacceptable.”

    “This was serious criminal conduct to which we must not become numbed. It is to my mind [of] the very first importance to the fabric of our public life that such intrusive, sustained criminal conduct should be marked by immediate loss of liberty,” the judge said.

  73. 73
    The big D says:

    I don’t believe the direct correlation between state of attire and intelligence has been conclusively proved; however I bow to your superior understanding and use of the English language.

  74. 74
    Piss Organ says:

    Why am 1000-1 ?? Oh yes. I couldn’t afford the pay cut.

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Was that Guido? I thought it was the spawn from the unholy union of Fatty Soames and Claire Short!

  76. 76
    Piss Organ says:

    Jedward ???? I never liked those two cretins.

  77. 77
    An Englishman says:

    “none of these people are elected are they? Yet they have access to the highest places in the state machinery.”

    That describes thousands of Civil Servants, too. Is the PM not even allowed to have a secretary, then?

    These people are just employees of the government.

    As long as HM Opposition is full of spinners and liars, and as long as the British media follows the lines of those spinners and liars so willingly, there is a need for the government to put its case across as strongly as it can. And it’s in the nation’s interest that it does so.

  78. 78
    An Englishman says:

    Does being wealthy and male disqualify someone for the job, then?

    Would a poor female be better qualified in some way?

  79. 79
    Peter Grimes says:

    And the bloody copper probably told his sergeant that he was OTS!

    They all do!

  80. 80
    An Englishman says:

    John, you ARE two jobbies.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    You left out Kelvin McKenzie and Tory Bear. I’m putting them in a reverse exacta.

  82. 82
    Senator Bloodn' Gore, says:

    Your ‘chip’ overfloweth, oh sorry, is showing.

  83. 83
    An Englishman says:

    Oh, yes. Now your talking. I would so love to see Vinnie sort Balls out.

  84. 84
    An Englishman says:

    The government needs them because the Labour Opposition uses them, and the British media or complicit with them, so the British public is continually fed a diet of lies and misinformation. The government has no choice but to try to defeat such malignancy, and it has to fight that battle on ground it didn’t choose using tactics it probably wouldn’t employ if it didn’t have to.

  85. 85
    Senator Bloodn' Gore, says:

    Politicians need spin doctors because spin doctors tell them they need spin doctors or from another point of view, which would be mine – it keeps people like me in flash cars, nice houses and a simply must have little pad in Monaco to help deflect the vagaries and whims of the Treasury and HM Excise and Customs .

  86. 86
    Engineer says:

    There might be some awkward conversations when it came to presenting foreign policy….

  87. 87
    Ricky Ponting's eyes are veryclosetogether says:

    Guido – you are better as a roving assassin; although God knows the Tories need to learn and embrace the art of ripping the public guts out of yet another failed, red-rimmed Labour adventure. Coulson is obviously able – but where are the teeth? Where is the cold glitter of the political switchblade and the will to wield it?

    I can’t imagine I’m the only one wanting this Labour cancer to pay the highest possible electoral price for fucking up the country twice, in two attempts, within the span of a single generation.

  88. 88
    Voter says:

    this is not about trivial party politics – rather about accountability to the british electorate who happen to pay their fucking wages

  89. 89
    Gissa Clue mate says:

    I agree CP. Can’t make out who it is.

  90. 90
    Mike Hunt says:

    I can see Blinky in the Gazza role in ‘that’ photo.

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Guido has been avoiding this like the plague because Coulson has been such a good source, but now wants credit for predicting it. What a twat!

  92. 92
    South of the M4 says:

    Read your last sentence again and you will discover the answer. He is not.

  93. 93
    An Englishman says:

    And are thousands of unelected civil servants accountable to the British electorate who pay their wages? Are they hell!

    This IS about party politics. Spinning was brought to UK politics by Labour in the mid-90’s and has been kept at the centre of government since by them. Even in Opposition they force the agenda on this matter. If they dumped all their spinners and acted as decent, honest and, yes, accountable servants of the nation and the electorate, the Conservatives may well be happy to do without spinners, too. As long as Labour plays dirty, the Conservatives have to defend themselves as best they can.

    Just how many times have I heard ‘Conservative-led Coalition’ said by Labour drones and blinkered Beeboids in the last few days? Labour’s all about spin and unless they change for the better they force the Conservatives to employ their own spinners in defence.

  94. 94
    Mike Hunt says:

    They even have that fat cunt Prescott on.

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Because the Politicians are far too busy playing fiddly/diddly with their expenses to have any time for mundane matters such as representing their constituants!!

  96. 96
    Andy Coulson's monkey says:

    A monkey friend tells me AC’s replacement will be Prick Robinson. Watch this space.

  97. 97
    Catch Me If You Can says:

    What he actually said was “I’m getting my oats”.

  98. 98
    Catch Me If You Can says:

    PMs sidekick seems to have an AC pattern that I think will continue. My money’s on Andy Capp.

  99. 99
    tory boys never grow up says:

    Guido for Coulson – what an excellent idea!

  100. 100
    AyeUpLetsNotGetSilly says:

    Bernard Ingram

    case closed

  101. 101
    Captain Ginger says:

    Oh yes; if his spinning is like his steer on the Alan Johnson story, Cameron will be toast within six months. Bring it on!

  102. 102
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Modesty is in short supply in the Fawke’s persona!

  103. 103
    Little Boy Blue says:

    What makes you think being right wing is a requirement for the job? Poison Polly has more chance of getting the job than you Guido.

  104. 104
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Who paid off the beak to send ‘em down?

  105. 105
    Glyn H says:

    Give the Englishman a CDM! This foul ‘management’ of the ‘news’ is right at door of Campbell, Mandelson, Blair, Brown and his despicable low life chums. They have polluted our politics as militant did before. It is always Labour and the left that seek to denigrate our country and it’s values

  106. 106
    Glyn H says:

    What c******g rubbish that man speaks. Everythink he did might have achieved those ends for him personally but at the expense of the country at large.
    You could not make up the level of malevolent incompetence incorporated in that vile man.

  107. 107
    Down With Brown! says:

    The perfect man for the job:


  108. 108
    Anonymous says:


    This is the first picture I have seen of you where you have been able to do your top button up on you shirt
    You fat k nut

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Andrew MacKay has been suggested – Cameron loves him!

  110. 110
    NotW_Scumbag says:

    The position requires a slimy, lying no-gooder.

    So who’s cast their hat into the ring ?

  111. 111
    nemesis says:

    You still think you understand 1) the media, and 2) politics

    What a fool. And your audience are so fucked up, they’re convinced Cameron is ‘part of the Fabianisation’ of Britain and that the BBC has a permanent left-wing bias because it is not as fascist as it should be.


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