January 20th, 2011

Balls’ SpAd Outed Alan Johnson’s “Personal Reasons”

Alan Johnson’s suspected affair with a civil servant was widely rumoured around Westminster, it was the reason that people believed that he had not run for leader. The story was never stood up by the papers.

This evening Guido sources are pointing the finger at Alex Belardinelli, Special Adviser to Ed Balls, as the person who has been making inquiries into Alan Johnson’s private life. Shadow Cabinet sources say they believe the Sunday Times has the story and Ed Miliband himself believes that Ed Balls’ people have had a hand in the story getting out. Balls chose his moment well, a series of gaffes by Alan Johnson had left him politically weakened.  Yet still Miliband rewarded him with the prize he craved…

UPDATE 22 Jan : Lots of people in the comments saying this story is proven duff by the Mail’s story about the wife and the copper. Don’t be so sure – they’re not mutually exclusive stories…


  1. 1
    SOM says:

    Maybe we can rid of Balls now too. A 2 for 1 job lot. What an utterly loathsome front bench labour have.

    • 13

      Would have been better if Balls rather Wee Dougie Alexander was Shadow Foreign Secretary.

      • 19
        Tessa Tickles says:

        It would be better if you fucked-off to Iran or Saudi Arabia.

        Planes leaves throughout the day. Thanks for visiting us. Bye.

        • 35
          ciasmaninlondon says:

          No let him off Bollocks.

          • Engineer says:

            What do you mean, let him off bollocks? He can’t depart for Saudi and leave his bollocks here, can he?

          • Totty Watch says:

            Balls is a loathsome scum bag – why don’t they prosecute him for the expenses he double claimed with his misses.

          • Gordon says:

            Today I will be mostly feeling… extremely smug

          • "SHADOW CABINET SOURCES" says:

            The same “sources” that made you think Robert Peston was going to be Miliband’s Political advisor ?


          • Bastardo says:

            Tell us about Mrs. J

          • Last to the story, all wrong on the facts, it's a complete Fawkes Up ! says:

            “Alan Johnson’s suspected affair with a civil servant was widely rumoured around Westminster, it was the reason that people believed that he had not run for leader. The story was kept out of the papers – until now.”

            Alan Johnson quit frontline politics after his wife was alleged to have had an affair with his police bodyguard

          • misterned says:

            Breaking News::: Coulson Resigns!!!

            I wonder if the police have finally managed to uncover some evidence? Or has his missus been shagging around too?

            Good day to bury bad news? If it is bad news about the tories, the BBC will NEVER let it be buried! They only do that for labour.

        • 38
          Baroness Warsi of Dewsbury in the county of West Yorkshire says:

          What have i been saying about bigots like you?

        • 41
          Andrew says:

          Goodness me, what a hideous, disgraceful comment. I can’t see that there was any irony or humour intended, and I hope I missed something, but if you’re being straight-faced Tessa, then you should hang your head in shame.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            I’m just suggesting a “better” way of life.

            If Islam’s so great, what’s he doing here? Not exactly a vote of confidence in his faith, is it? (answer: no, it isn’t)

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            Let me just add, Andrew the ignorant, if I may, your chauvinisticness, why should I hang my head in shame, when the utter filth that is London M*uslim wants women to wear burqas, not leave the house without being chaperoned by a male relative, doesn’t want me to drive, didn’t want me to go to school??

            And I should hang my head in shame? Fuck you.

          • Merv the Perv, BoE says:

            I suspect the comment was triggered by London Muslim’s incessant chuntering on about Islam and its alleged superiority.

          • Common Dog says:

            Nowt wrong with saying the Muslims should go back whence they came from. They have made it abundantly clear that they HATE this country.

          • David Cameron says:

            Ghastly Piece of Filth.

        • 117
          Deep Who says:

          ‘Planes leaves’? What kind of grammar is that you dirty whore

        • 183
          Anonymous says:

          Am I on the correct web site? This seems to be EDL’s.

          • sign man says:

            Follow the sign to the Guardian/BBC Group >>>>>>>>>>>

          • On the commute home says:

            Was just thinking the same thing who are these crazies and why are they so angry with entire races / religions?

            Chill out, take a holiday, drink some wine and enjoy life!

          • Smig says:

            That’ll be because some religions, well one predominantly, preache that it’s followers should turn the entire world into one big islamic caliphate. Regardless of whether the existing culture wishes to join them in the worship of their chosen skyfairy.

        • 227
          HealthnSafety says:

          Isn’t putting him on a boat safer?

        • 273
          Enoch P says:

          I take it there some history to provoke that comment. Very ungentlemanly and off topic.

        • 453
          Anonymous says:


        • 538
          Lord Wayne of Trombone and Other Instruments says:

          All in all – most of the young chaps putting posts up here on this blogette,
          are by n large,

          please do not reply with rude comments implying I am a twat etc

      • 221
        Tell it like it really is says:

        What goes around comes around – Balls will not profit – nor will Gollum aka red ed.

      • 253
        Muslims smell says:

        You still here muzee? Shouldn’t you be out stoning women for not wearing a burka and chanting Death to the America?

        • 350
          Baroness Warsi says:

          No! I’ve come here to escape from all that! If I loved my faith, I’d live in Ir*an or Saud*i Arab*ia. But I choose to live here, where there’s freedom.

          How I hate it here. You’re all bigots.

      • 741
        You assume... says:

        You’re assuming Ed Scrotum deserves a shadow posting?; he doesn’t even deserve a severance package.
        his hypocrisy is everywhere – just YouTube his speeches and you can see him flip and flop from one standpoint to an opposing standpoint.
        Google him if you have to; the ‘man’ is an utter self-serving fraud.

        • 757
          William says:

          “he doesn’t even deserve a severance package.”

          He does, just between his chin and his shoulders.

        • 781
          Sporrans Of Arabia says:

          His hideous, slippery spouse is no better – only pops her horrid head up when there’s something in it for either of them – what a vile pair!!!

    • 66
      Norman Tebbit says:


      • 669

        So Mrs Johnson was doing the horizontal boogie with her husbands bodyguard, according to The Daily Mail, whilst the husband Alan Johnson was having it away with a Civil Servant. BUT should the Bodyguard not be guarding ‘the body’ so to speak so how can he be in two places at the same time? Answers on the back of a £5 white note. WE would dearly love to see:
        1. The Bodyguards Timesheet and Expenses Claimed.
        2. Alan Johnsons Hotel Expenses.
        3. MPs’ Expenses
        4. Mrs Johnsons Expenses

    • 74
      I don't get it says:

      Guido your story don’t make sense. Why would Red Ed give Bollocks Ed the Job if he has just shafted his deputy?

      • 88
        Jatrius says:

        No other choice.

        • 626
          Alan Johnson says:

          My job! Why!? Why did I have to lose my job! Why!? *sob*

        • 732

          For the same reason Blair gave Brown the job. To keep him on the inside where he could keep an eye on him and not make trouble.

          Didn’t quite work to plan though.

          Knobjockeys the lot of them!

        • 796
          the Bodyguard says:

          Thank fuck Guido was on the ball with this one or I might be in the shi… oh right… real journalists knew all about me. Bum!

      • 91
        Bled White Taxpayer says:

        Because Red Ed is a sandwich short of a full picnic, plus he’s still playing kindergarten politics. He didn’t know – nor could he believe – that Ed Balls would be so nasty.

      • 145
        Dick the Prick says:

        Where’s Brown?

        • 230
          Tell it like it really is says:

          Gollum is on the end of a very thin and perilous branch, thick as he is he knows he is very close to being ousted so he looks to curry slight support by appointing B b b bbb Blinky.

        • 736
          Marshmyst says:

          Behind the curtains

        • 764
          Gordon Brown c/o HMP Broadmore says:

          I will be back. My cabinet is in place. Only I can save the country. Yvette always liked to watch me play with Balls.

        • 785
          Sporrans Of Arabia says:

          He has got himself a cushy new position on the domestic front – he’s Blunkett’s new home-help!

      • 157
        potato jones says:

        Methinks the Murdopress is seeking to squeeze Blair getting spit-roasted by Chilcot out of the weekend news agenda.
        Balls is as Balls does. But Rupe is wilier.

        • 205
          Lady Macbeth says:

          Deviously plausible, one problem, if that was it then the scoop would have been on the Times front page today.

          Balls is the man with blood on his hands…. out damned spot!

          • Anonymous says:

            No fucker reads The Times though. They’ve paywallee themselves out of existence (and influence). Ergo: no-one gives a shit about what is on The Times’ front page.

      • 298
        robbie says:

        because its a deficit-denying shadow cabinet in full from now on. Bollocks Ed is the worst D-D of the lot so who better to re-launch the attempt by loony Lab to re-write economic history.

        What a parade of brownish tosh in that shadow cabinet…and FTLOG (!) wee doogie as shadow foreign minister. Lets hope they give him lots of fact finding trips.

    • 197
      Crikey says:

      Treachery sometimes pays off doesn’t it Blinky? At least in the short term. BTW what the F%^& did you and Gordon do with all our money?

    • 250
      Anonymous says:

      Two Ed’s are better than one

      • 283
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        The whole grubby episode has made absolutely clear that RedEd has no power whatsoever and is a glove-Muppet wielded by whoever can get his or her hand up. The battle of the Looting Parteh tribes went public tonight. Dave and Nick can now proceed with their plans secure in the knowledge that Labour will present no threat whatsoever for the next 8-10 years.There’s nowhere for the LibDem squishy Left to go, and the Tory Right are unlikely to take the nuclear option now that Labour are self-destructing.

    • 259
      AC1 says:
      • 427
        Tom Tomos says:

        How many balls Guido? Clearly the New Year apostrophe lessons haven’t worked.

      • 519
        no longer anonymous says:

        But who revealed the info on the wife and bodyguard?

        • 693
          Anonymous says:

          If as alleged above it was Alex Belardinelli who spilled the beans, in order to suck up to Balls, then Alex Belardinelli is an utter, utter Hunt.

        • 752
          it's all a load of rubbish says:

          You mean Fawkes has just been caught red-handed inventing a string of lies ?

    • 307
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Tessa Jowell tries to defend Johnson and Ed Balls-up.

      Ed Balls-up has terrible form on the economy, and his PPE degree means sh1t to everyone who has experienced the Blair/Brown/Balls economy.

      • 403
        Labour Sleaze says:

        This the woman who left her husband over a matter which she said he was innocent of. So why leave then ?
        if I was being uncharitable I would say that this separation of convinience was contrived to circumvent possible action under the proceeds of crime act.

        This is also the woman who recently claimed on Question Time that the deficit was soley due to then Banking collapse.

        • 763
          looters/socialshits says:

          She is an animated Picture of Dorian Grey – hideously ugly corruption has eaten her alive.

        • 862
          British Citizen says:

          So why leave and yet stay in the same house? Because she is a solicitor who went to Edinburgh University like fizzy ornageman himself who signs documents she has not read.

        • 868
          Dave S says:

          Deficit (or surplus) is a chosen financial position called by the Chancellor of the day, the annual difference between income and expenditure, and bridged by government borrowing.

          Alistair Darling in his last budget speech declared government borrowing (and hence deficit) for four successive years.

          Nothing to do with banks or any other external factor, surely everyone knows this.

    • 411
      Trafalger says:

      Am I the only one who sees Red Ed as a 7 year old boy in a sleeveless pullover, shorts and a dickie-bow saying “Yes Papa.”

      • 688
        Norris Stampton says:

        No, we all think that – though seven years old is giving him more maturity than he deserves…

    • 452
      Anonymous says:

      Ed Milliband is a dead man walking.
      Balls or his missus will be in charge within a year.

    • 654
      Anonymous says:

      Perhaps you have the wrong story Guido…… it’s the wife, not Johnson…..

    • 819
      Postal Vote says:

      The real Balls story is that he would not have been re-elected without postal voting. Labour are the postal voting champions and Balls had a majority of only about 950 in a contituency in which some 10,000 votes were of the postal variety …

      The coalition is very quiet about changing postal voting procedures. But Cameron seems very naive anyway when it comes to electoral law. Otherwise he would do his utmost to prevent AV getting air time since AV can be the death knell for the conservatives if labour plays its cards clever. Despite the start of improving the government’s finances, there are still millions employed by the public sector and on benefits and it won’t be hard to persuade the labour ones among them living in conservative seats to cast their second vote for the libdems; vice versa, young lib dems will easily be persuaded to put in their second vote for labour. AV looks to end the conservatives’ chances to gain power …

    • 859
      butch83 says:

      Хорошо было бы заказать мебель на этом сайте!

  2. 2
    Mike Litorus says:

    Ferrets! Nice to see Balls reverting to form though, should help keep the treacherous dogs out for longer. Only downside is the bunch of monkeys that are currently in there…

    • 11
      Tessa Tickles says:


    • 12
      Nick Jones says:

      Christmas has come early for the Tories!

    • 48
      Lady Macbeth says:

      Miliband’s screwed now. Labour tore themselves apart in government with backstabbings and undermining each other. Presumably Balls will do Miliband in too when the time is right.

      Balls is definitely the heir to Gordon “Macbeth” Brown.

      • 108
        Reds Under The Bed says:

        If that’s true (and I’m not sayings it’s not) we’ll need quite a different sort of Lady Macbeth than you, my dear. And I just don’t see little Yvette being right for the part.

        But you’re right about Miliboy being screwed – perhaps shafted would be better.

    • 122
      Pickled Wizard says:

      Well, at least the entertainment has come back – no one in their right mind would have an affair with balls…..would they…?

      • 136
        Mike Litorus says:

        If Prescott/Temple is possible…

        Excuse me while I go and pour bleach in my eyes now.

      • 363
        literate pedant says:

        allegedly dear stephanie the bbc economics whizz used to get jiggy with both of the Ed’s……..not at the same time ….as far as we know…..

        i’m sure the hazy memories of those two sex-gods slithering on top of her help her maintain her marvellous impartiality when telling the great unwahsed just why labour are economic genii…….

  3. 3
    Oh dear says:

    If Balls’ fingerprints are seen as all over it already he has only diminished himself.

    Tottywatch- Did Johnson do well for himself?

  4. 4
    Robert Catesby says:

    “Alan Johnson’s suspected affair with a civil servant was widely rumoured around Westminster”

    If it was widely rumoured, then why wasn’t Guido sharing the rumours with the co-conspirators?

    • 36
      QWERTY says:

      Um I think you will find Guido was predicting Johnson would be the first to go a while back.

      • 190
        ichabod says:

        But which Labour frontbencher is the father of Alice Miles’s child ?

      • 717
        WRONG! says:

        No he wasn’t. He said it would be Vince Cable and gave him the crosshairs.

        Why don’t you answer the question about why Fawkes hadn’t a clue about Johnson going ?

  5. 5
    13eastie says:

    No-one had the balls to unseat Brown, though.

    What can we conclude about Red Ed’s grip?

    • 223
      Wayne Kerr says:

      He’s holding his Balls?

    • 435
      South of the M4 says:

      Ed has very recently criticised the Brownomics history and been a little off message.
      How do we know that Brown is not behind this? Is Brown, as devious and dangerous and mad as he is, really out of influence?

  6. 6
    Koba says:

    Is the affair with a man or woman?

    • 60
      gildedtumbril says:

      …Or the No.10 cat. Or did bliar have it put down? Bastards.
      What a choice.That bunch of odious bastards or the brokeback coalition, conceived in perversion and swaddled in corruption.
      650 traitorous bastards. And, I doubt there is a British manufacturer of pianowire extant. I suppose hemp rope will have to suffice.

      • 83
        friendly hangman says:

        Set up a gallows and i’ll make the bastards dance. Short drop just enough for them to die a SLOW death in particular when the fire under the trap door slowly toasts their feet to a turn before they croak

        • 305
          HandsomeDavid says:

          They could drop down with a lemon in their mouth and a J Arthur to boot.

          Way to go, autoerotic asphyxiation.

          • MI5 snuff squad says:

            That’s what we hoped you’d think.

          • Anonymous says:

            I think you’ll find that was a tory pervert, not a labour one… and anyway wasn’t it an orange. I reckon he was killed by MI5, but that’s another story…

      • 278
        John Alex Wood says:

        Too easy.

        But since explosives are strictly Islamic tools of democracy now, I vote for poison. Slow-acting contact neurotoxin on the Expenses Claim Forms should do nicely.

  7. 7
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Jesus Christ. If this is true, Balls is even worse than we thought.

    Shadow Chancellor career: dead on day 1.

    • 388
      Anonymous says:

      It’s not. It’s a pile of crap invented by Coulson and put out by Guido as soon as he was able to remove his tongue from his master’s sphincter.

  8. 8
    Johan says:

    Well played Balls.

    Those who dislike him won’t dislike him any more as a result of this, and Labour tribalists will see him as the man to hammer Osbourne and destroy the myth of deficit reduction being necessary. They won’t give a damn about how he got the role or what that says about the kind of man he is.

    • 45
      Bled White Taxpayer says:

      Oh, I don’t know. Next PMQs Cameron comes out with a line that “the new Shadow Chancellor is only doing the job because of his mastery of the dark arts of spin and back-stabbing” should raise a cheer from the Tories, and be uncomfortable for Edth. Get the story of spin front and centre, and Balls will always be defending himself.

      • 109
        jgm2 says:

        Aye. And not turning your back on him for a second. He had a go at getting rid of Darling but failed. And now he’s got what he wanted. You’d better hope his ambition stops there Miliband.

        It’s an absolute gift.

        Plus Postie will have had a few pals around the Labour Party. They’ll be watching for any slip-ups Ned or the missus might make to get their revenge.

        Ferrets in a sack time indeed.

        Still, at least Miliband got to write something on his blank sheet of paper. Three months into the job and he got to reshuffle his ‘top-team’.

        He’s going to need another blank sheet of paper for his policies now.

    • 112
      Kevin T says:

      Not sure about that, Balls’ ambitions go higher than chancellor and Ed and his circle can’t be so stupid they can’t guess into whose back the next dagger will be aimed. On top of that, Balls already has a lot of enemies and this sort of behaviour may be acceptable to MPs but tends to disgust the party rank and file. Milliband should show he has his own Balls and sack him. He probably won’t because he’s too weak.

      • 131
        Johan says:

        How can there be any thought of sacking him given he has just appointed him? I suppose it depends how much traction the ‘Balls did for Johnson’ story gets…

  9. 9
    Pig Sick says:

    Tracy Temple?

  10. 10
    fonyblair says:

    I’m sure I heard Balls say he would never brief against anyone the other day.

    If I had a 3D TV I’m sure his nose would have headed straight towards me!

  11. 14
    John says:

    Not likely: Balls would have done it earlier.

  12. 15

    What else would you expect from a low life bastard like ball’s
    you would think that Ed ReallyBland would have avoided balls like the fucking plague
    wait till he starts digging into your background ed !
    Old Labour -Smears is wot we do best !

  13. 16
    Dick Scratcher says:

    1. So that’s where the postman was emptying his sack…

    2. Did she get a special delivery in her slot?

    3. How often did he clear out her box?

    Take yer pick.

  14. 20

    And I still have the Baby P memo. Come on Balls, go for leader.


  15. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Wonderful stuff Guido !!

    Thought Alan Johnson would have been squirming at being used as cover by David Cameron on the changes to the NHS !!

    But who is the civil servant ??

  16. 23
    Local Scouser Luciana Berger says:

    I’d like to point out that I am not having an affair with Alan Johnston. I’ve heard rumours that “He’s fucking Useless” and it’s not true.

    • 217
      Bled White Taxpayer says:

      You misheard. It’s “Youfless”, and so it must be true.

    • 481
      Penny Dreadful says:

      I’m more useless than you by far.

      Any fat ugly lezzas want a job doing research for f’uck all pay.

      • 703
        Fat Ugly Lezza says:

        Oh, g’wan chick. After all, according to your tweets, you “moisten” at the very thought of hairy paunches. I’ve got a hairy paunch.

        Anyway, this job. Fcuk the minimum wage, what I wanna know is how you going to pay the travel? I live in Leicester, I can do your “research” on t’internet from my house, but you want me to interview single mother slags. There’s loads in Leicester, but you want me to go around the country for no dibs? Hows that gonna work?

  17. 24
    Ed Balls says:

    I admire Alan so much. He was one of Britain’s greatest politicians. I love Alan. Alan, you’re the best in my swivelling eyes.

    So, a new era begins. I will have MY hands at the controls. I will have the POWER. This time I can reduce the private sector to 0% of the economy. Muhahahahahaha. Come Yvette! Come ride with me to our land of pure bullshit and hypocrisy. We are the chosen ones!!!!!!

    • 44
      Camoron pissing himself laughing says:

      Yeah, but.. shame you’re in opposition (does it suck, Eddie?) and, because of you, Labour are going to stay there. No ifs or buts, Labour are fucked.

    • 704
      Cherie Blair QVC says:

      About that Treasury book you authored in 2002, there didn’t seem to be any mention of the possibility of a downturn in your plans for endlessly growing public spending.

      Tories are gonna rip you a new arsehole

  18. 26
    Anonymous says:

    And it buys a few days to give South Gloucestershire council a bollocking of the first degree so that they can organise some respite care for Celyn’s mum..

    Ah, Government by Mumsnet – live by it, die by it…

  19. 29
    Furious says:

    Always knew balls was a nasty little shit.

    • 613
      Suise says:

      Stupid little shit too. He’s unbearable and Labour have dumped the one personable member of the shadow cabinet. Disaster.

  20. 30
    Anonymous says:

    So why did the blog that likes boast that you’re either in front, or you’re behind, not pick up the gossip first?

    • 59
      Anonymous says:

      Especially as it was being trailed on Politicalbetting.com, with a whole thread last week written by someone called ‘Chilon’ speculating about Johnson’s imminent departure in the manner of Estelle Morris. Was this all part of the plot?

      • 203
        One of the Great Unwashed says:

        Remember the photo of Postman Pat having his 2 hour plus lunch at the Savoy Grill the same day he had been doing the media rounds berating Osborne’s VAT rise (Tues 4 Jan)
        Who would have known in detail,before hand PP’s planned schedule for the day, enough time for someone to ensure that a photo would emerge as the incident was leaked………..looks like blinky’s sticky finger prints all over this…..

        Has anyone advised Milliepeed Minor about the real need of an effective stab proof vest……he will certainly need it, sooner rather later……

        • 291
          AC1 says:

          I’m guessing it wasn’t his wife at the Savoy having a two hour lunch with him?

          • Labour Sleaze says:

            Was thinking that myself and if it’s the case that a significant other was with him then the leaking of this (cropped?) photo was a warning shot across his bows.

          • Suise says:

            You’re spot on.

            Ed ‘blackmail’ Balls. Even after Damien McB he hasn’t changed his spots.

          • NotASheep says:

            Oops, jumping to conclusions not always a good idea.

  21. 34
    It doesn't add up... says:

    The Naked Civil Servant?

  22. 39
    MB. says:

    If that’s true then Red Ed had better watch his back because Balls will be after his job next or perhaps he already has something which is why he got the Shadow Chancellor job?

  23. 40
    QWERTY says:

    We don’t know who Alan Johnson is shagging but we do know he’s just taken one up the anus from Gordon McBrown.

  24. 42
    Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

    Ok, let’s start on dismantling Balls…

    See here – By Robert Winnett, Deputy Political Editor 12:01AM GMT 19 Dec 2007


    “The Northern Rock crisis is threatening to cost every taxpayer up to £1,800, as it emerged Gordon Brown was warned a year ago that “urgent action” was needed to prevent a banking meltdown.”

    “In a further development, the governor of the Bank of England, Mervyn King, revealed that the Prime Minister had been informed that Britain was uniquely vulnerable to a run on a bank.”

    “Mr King told MPs that Ed Balls, one of Mr Brown’s closest colleagues, was part of a top-level Whitehall group warned last year that “urgent action” was needed to deal with the potential future collapse of a retail bank.”

    Ed ‘so what’ Balls was told and he didn’t listen. No more boom and bust eh?

    • 61
      retardEd Miliband says:

      Don’t worry – we’re a new generation.

    • 130
      jgm2 says:

      A year before? Just about the point where, with impeccable timing, Cameron turned his back on ten years of Tory Leaders and shadow-chancellor’s warning of Brown’s insane pyramid borrowing and decided that the way for the Tories to get back into power was to match Brown’s insane spending.

      I remember the fucking clown doing it. Ten years of Tories the whole thing was just a hologram created by borrowed money and he blows the T*ries economic credibility out of the water by aligning it with the Maximum Imbecile. Just to appeal to fucking muppets who didn’t give a sh1t how much money was borrowed as long as their benefit payments kept coming.


      Still, at least Ned Balls isn’t chancellor. Then you’d see some borrowing and squandering. Followed by some printing.

  25. 46
    ciasmaninlondon says:

    Come on Guido, who’s knocking off Yvette. That fat poof bollocks can’t get it up females anymore. prefers Broons rear.

    • 534
      Lord Fondlebum says:

      It’s me – she just looks so much like a boy I couldn’t help myself.

      First time up the batty as well

    • 624
      friendly hangman says:

      I’d bend her over and give her one up either hole or one after the other

  26. 49
    Dack Blog says:

    Crikey. A cheated politician’s wife actually leaves? Is that a first?

  27. 50
    Scallywag says:

    Check out http://www.order-order.com for the truth…

  28. 54
    Fiona Bruce's Most Hostile Constituent says:

    I feel like breaking out into, “Morning has broken”

  29. 57
    Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

    Even now the Fleet Street hacks are banging out 1200 words on the ‘Death of New Labour’ for tomorrow.

    And they’d be right.

  30. 62
    Anonymous says:

    I’m surprised there is still a Sunday Times

    • 70
      BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

      Egg Balls and Egg Milliband….. both likely to end up with something on their faces….. Sunday Times?? They are doomed….. doomed !!

      • 118
        Must get a pseudonym one day says:

        The one thing both Ed Balls and Ed Miliband have ‘had on their faces’ in the past is the BBC’s Economic Totty, Stephanie Flanders.

        When the two Eds start to disagree about economic policy, watch which way the Flanders Mare leans and we might get a clue which of the two was the better flap-licker.

  31. 63
    Shire Tory says:

    Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer!
    None of that lot could manage their way out of a moist paper bag.

  32. 65
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

    Oh what a tangled web we weave …. diddly diddly de de de !!

  33. 68
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    too much of a coincidence !
    the ugly bastard big Al Campbell turns up on tv
    scandal breaks Johnson resigns on the same day !

    Labour= more smears than Mandelsons duvet !

  34. 69
    Queensferry One Eye says:

    Appointing Balls demonstrates Albert Einstein’s belief: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

  35. 72
    Mike Hunt says:

    Balls (Ed) had him dobbed in? well fuck me, I am surprised.

  36. 73
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:


    Hopefully someone else will go before being pushed !!

  37. 78
    Mrs Spe@ker says:
    • 90
      Anonymous says:

      You really are a stupid c nut aren’t you.

    • 97
      Mr Squeaker says:

      Put that fuckin phone down and get back to the sink, margarine legs.

    • 101
      BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

      Why the f*ck should taxpayers fund her life of luxury in the Palace of Westminster ?? Serve notice on the sl*pper to quit and take Grumpy with her !!

      • 134
        Tessa Tickles says:


        And they can take the useless sack of shit, Deputy Speaker Dawn “Brown’s gimp-bitch” Primorolo, with them.

    • 121
      Sally Bigcow says:

      Did I get that right, Ed ?? Can I be an MP now, pleeeeaaaassseee ???
      Pretty pleassseee ??

    • 132
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      Learn to spell Bigcowitz you meant Sham chancellor !

    • 137
      Reds Under The Bed says:

      Even someone as low-life as little Balls might object to getting a reference from a self-confessed slapper whore like you.

    • 184
      Anonymous says:

      This is dire shite even for fuckwit like Sally Longbottom.

    • 289
      Tell it like it really is says:

      The speakers’ wife twitters stuff
      Inane, immoderate idiot musings,
      Vacuous, greedy and boy, she’s rough
      Slappers never change their markings.

    • 700
      Cherie Blair QVC says:

      Go and suck some hard cock you arsehole gobshyte

  38. 80
    Time for a quiet puke.... says:


  39. 84
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    two complete fucking retards in change of the labour party…couldn’t be funnier

    • 99
      Anonymous says:

      …….opposite a whole host of side-show freaks on the government front bench.

      • 125
        Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin says:


      • 142
        David Camoron says:

        I was just about to pack my bags in lieu of the inevitable, and this gets presented to me. Ed + Ed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I’m here ’till 2020 at the earliest.

        Mwa ha ha ha ha ha! Toodle pip.

      • 144
        Bill Quango MP says:

        Its not really your day is it Anon?
        The most liked of the front bench has been replaced by the most despised.

        Putting a duplicitous,mendacious,brooding, dysfunctional, bitter, aggrieved, conceited backstabbing coup plotter has already been tried.

        How did it all work out again?
        lowest number of votes for thirty years?
        Second worse result in history, only just beating the esteemed Mr Foot?

        I’m sure Ed has made a wise decision and is very happy.
        Well, one of them is.

        • 166
          Anonymous says:

          Only despised by you twats, not by the voters.

          • Mike Litorus says:

            That explains the massive majority then…

          • Anonymous says:

            Hahahahahaha….poor old Ed had to rely on postal voters, and most of them don’t even fucking exist!

          • Anonymous says:

            Do I really have to remind you that you don’t have a majority or a mandate and had to be propped up by the liberals you hate? Look at the polls. Labour will have a majority next time and you will be licking each others wounds.

          • what ever he's on, I don't want any says:

            In your wet dreams knobhead.

          • Lady Macbeth says:

            and I will have my wicked way at last!!!

            out damned spot…

          • AC1 says:

            Is this as accurate as the prediction that Alan Johnson will be PM?

        • 334
          Anonymous says:

          You missed my question. If Brown was as unpopular as you say, why did you not win the election? If Labour is as hated as you say, why are they ahead in the polls?

          • Prime Minister Gordon Brown says:


          • Bill Quango MP says:

            Labour couldn’t even get enough seats to form a coalition if they included every other political party in the country.
            That’s how much Labour lost by.
            That’s the scale of your defeat.
            If even your natural allies, the left of centre Liberals wouldn’t support you, how unpopular do you think Labour was?

            But go ahead and believe what you want.

            Alan Johnson quit because he’s got a job as head of the IMF.
            Ed Miliband was elected by 102% of the party.
            Gordon Brown won the election in 2010 by 120 seats.
            Ed Balls is right. There is no deficit. Its all just lies.
            Bush forced Blair to go to war with mind drugs.
            The Post Offices all closed because their owners didn’t want them anymore.
            42 days detention without trial was an invention of the Tories.
            James Gordon Brown NEVER raised the threshold of inheritance tax to help the most well off in society, whilst scamming the poorest on the 10p tax increase..

            HE DIDN’T!HE DIDN’T!HE DIDN’T!

            lalalalalalalalalalala can’t hear you if we don’t want to..lalalalal

          • literate pedant says:

            because a large proportion of the country are as thick as shite and want something for nothing…….which is basically labour economic policy……take from productive people to give to money grubbing underclass client state and borrow any shortfall in the bribes account. simples

          • Anonymous says:


            Your creative writing is lovely, dear. B-. I fear that you may have missed my questions again, though. Why did the Tories not win the election (the usual measurement of which is a majority) if they are so wonderful and Labour is so hated? Why are Labour ahead in the polls, now after the country has been able to sample this wonderful government in its full glory for a few months?

            literate pedarist or whoever you are,

            I think you will find that progressive politics is about each taking responsibility for his own and also for others and for the community. I know that from your little Thatcherite perspective where selfishness is the only virtue, that is hard to understand, but try to better yourself for a moment.

            Anyway good luck, girls. I have other things to do.

          • Anonymous says:

            Exactly what is progressive about a Shadow Cabinet made up almost entirely from a previous Labour government that failed so spectacularly in the election?
            Same old faces, same old tired and discredited policies and still stabbing each other in the back.

          • Suise says:

            Because of the constituency boundaries which are all about to change and there’s fa Labour can do to stop the Conservatives levelling the playing field.

            FACT: If Labour had had the same 10.7 million votes cast for the Conservatives, they’d be back in power with a comfortable majority…

          • City of Vice says:

            OK I’ll answer your question for you then, Anonymous…

            a) The electoral boundaries are rigged in Labour’s favour. Once this is addressed Labour are fucked for good.

            b) Postal votes from ‘certain’ communities – if the government has any sense and clamps down on these third world level scams then Labour’s hold on certain seats, including Balls’, is fucked.

            c) Cos Cameron is a complacent fuck who started talking trendy vicar bollocks like the ‘big society’ and coming on meaningless beauty contests (debates) – Clegg was the beneficiary of that – when all he(Cameron) had to do is attack Brown and Labour’s record and largely keep his gob shut otherwise.

            d) Labour’s poll lead is temporary. The Tories are having to do the dirty work of cleaning up Labour’s mess in the teeth of a media onslaught by publicly funded Labour cheerleaders such as the BBC. Regardless, the rise of the serially incompetent and despised Balls (ie Gordon Brown without the charm!) if not checked will ensure that Labour has no chance of winning the next election.


  40. 89
    Eunuch Powell says:

    Balls up like all evil Shakespearian characters come to a bad end. He is the creator of his own downfall.

  41. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Let’s not forget that Bliar has a date with destiny tomorrow

  42. 96
    Anonymous says:

    This is bollocks, I reckon. Who cares who Johnson is shagging?

    • 106
      Coalition Wet Nappies says:

      I agree, he’s gone ’cause he’s found out not an android like rest of ‘em

      • 156
        Mike Litorus says:

        He finally finished Economics for Dummies, got a look at the books and said “Fuck this for a game of Soldiers”

    • 167
      Anonymous says:

      Mrs Johnson?

    • 188
      getting used to this now says:

      agree. I thought we had moved on from having to fall on your sword due to personal indiscretion. The poor missus, finding out like this.

      • 292
        Anonymous says:

        The postmen had something fall on his pork sword that wasn’t his missus is the problem.

  43. 98
    Reds Under The Bed says:

    Ed Balls & Charlie Whelan: 6
    Ed Miliband & Alan Johnson: 0

    This should be an open goal for the Conservative-led Government – with Cameron in Flashman mode and Osborne’s sneering grin.

    Can’t wait for next Treasury Questions – Osborne will squash the squinty oik.

    • 116
      Coalition Wet Nappies says:

      Squinty is unsquashable, ’cause he’s just an automoton with an unfortunate blink system malfunction

    • 127
      Bill Quango MP says:

      Conservative-led Government — ??

      What a give-away.

    • 128
      A says:

      “Oik” will be eaten raw by Big Bully Balls, you fucknut. Then he’ll pick his teeth with Osborne’s family tree. Because that’s what he does – or haven’t you been paying attention?

      • 153
        retardEd Miliband says:

        High taxes? “So what?” Deficit? “What’s that?”

        More of the same from retardEd’s “new [old dinosaur] generation”

      • 154
        Tom Badwind says:

        Balls has got more baggage than the handlers at Heathrow Airport in a snowstorm.

      • 185
        Reds Under The Bed says:

        Just remind me how the Crewe & Nantwich bye-election went – remember, Labour’s Tory Toffs campaign?

        Answer – they were wiped out.

        Balls’ long history of economic imbicility is well known – he was whispering in McMental’s ear every step of the way over the fucking cliff. All the blood is on his hands.

        AND we have the psychodrama of the Battle of the Eds so like the TB-GBs. For Balls, Miliband junior has always been the nerdy runt sitting in the corner of the room.

        • 641
          Susie says:

          Can’t we just refer to them as a sort of collective noun from now on? Eds Miliballs or sommat…

      • 187
        jgm2 says:

        Balls was lucky to hold on to his seat last time out. If Balls was anything other than totally nasty he’d have, like Brown, have secured himself a nice safe seat crammed to the rafters with Labour-voting imbeciles.

        If Balls was liked by anybody within the party he’d have been elected leader.

        Balls is, like Brown, only good for one thing. Sticking the fucking boot in. Once he turns his attention to policy or running a department or any trivial shit like that he’ll inevitably fuck up in spades. Just like the Maximum Imbecile before him.

        The problem for Balls is that fresh in the voter’s mind is the image of one cock-sure, nasty, class-warrior fucking the economy through strident incompetence. And now, with Balls, they’re being presented with a clone of Brown.

        Balls might manage to stick the knife in enough Labour MPs to get to be Labour leader but, like Brown before him, he’ll find that the UK public simply will not put up with such an odious, incompetent jackass as their PM.

        • 212
          retardEd Miliband says:

          Thith ith why I have created a New Generation.

          Oh, fuckit, I can’t maintain the pretenth any more. It’th too boring even for me.

          Thame old thit. The unionth made me do it.

        • 240
          A says:

          Balls is the guy who stands behind the leader slamming his fists into the palm of his other hand. He knows this [loves doing it and hates its limits], he knows he’s got Ed where he wants him and he knows neither him or the missus will be accepted. He may be a moron but he’ll take Osborne apart limb from fucking limb.

          • A says:

            Or fist, even. I’m certainly not suggesting he has more than two hands.

          • Joss Ayinglike says:

            He probably has got more than two hands. All his colleagues now know that he is a double-dealing, double-crossing shit.

        • 501
          South of the M4 says:

          You are right jg – but probably only after a 5 year stint.

      • 807
        City of Vice says:

        I don’t think so. Osborne is much better at going for the jugular than Cameron. Osborne knows his brief and openly gets pissed off with Labour wankers when they talk shite, which is most of the time. It’s going to be open season on the serially incompetent Balls. And then there’s the McBride factor. The Balls / McBride smear project was directed as Cameron, Osborne and more importantly their families so there is no lovelost there. The difference now is that the Tories now have to resources of goverment to dig up any old crap on Balls they want to throw. Balls is toast.

  44. 104
    Dack Blog says:

    Ed’s been acknowledging ‘mistakes’ of late. He’s just said on Sky that he’s looking forward (!) to working with Balls – following the strategy that he and Johnson have set out.

    I’m getting the feeling that Ed knew this was coming and is warning Balls off. But if so why give Balls the post?

    Something more behind the scenes here I think. Beyond the obvious that Balls is a Brutus.

    • 126
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      Al Johnson was absent at PMQs this week and Cameron drew specific attention to it. He obviously knew why, but was he/Coulson involved in the leaking process?

      • 152
        jgm2 says:

        Why? Johnson was a comedic gift to economics and a gift from God to the T*ries.

        While Ned (Balls) is merely wrong about everything Alan Johnson was utterly clueless and irrelevant.

        Ned is wrong but he’s stridently, arrogantly, brayingly, sneeringly, self-confidently wrong – like the Maximum Imbecile before him – that people get taken in by his self-confidence. After all, they will reason, how could anybody be so cock-sure and be completely wrong?

        Brown will show you how that mind-set works.

  45. 107
    jo stalin says:

    Game over.Conservative majority in 2014/5 50 seats.Ed Balls becomes senior lecturer in Peace studies, University of Bradford,shortly before its closure.

  46. 110
    Gordon says:

    Them’s my boys. Ed and Ed

  47. 120
    Bill Quango MP says:

    This is Rick Nobinson reporting.

    “Earlier today a man, believed to be Edward Balls, confronted Ed MrBean, and demanded that he be made Shadow chancellor. It is rumoured that he held a sock full of snooker balls in his fist and shouted ” I’mmm the Daddy now!”

    On Sunday last week Ed Balls’ wife, Servalan, had visited Alan Johnson and shown him a compromising DVD of a man resembling the shadow Chancellor, standing in the corner wearing a dunce’s cap, whilst an unidentified sexily clad schoolteacher holding a cane reads out the four times table. Mr Johnson resigned on the spot and posted his resignation immediately to Ed Milibean.
    Sadly, he forgot the 240mm by 165mm by 5mm bollocks regulation Labour introduced that made that resignation note count as a Large letter and that letter did not arrive until this evening.

    I’m Rick Nobinson,
    Standing outside wherever the shadow cabinet hang out, some pub probably, telling Peston to swivel on it….BBC News.

  48. 140
    Ed Bollokov ( Son of Brown, Deficit-Admirer-in Chief ) says:

    None of my staff would have shafted Postman Prat. I love him so dearly. Honest…….

    • 159
      jgm2 says:

      He’s got lock-jaw or something. He’s developing the same rigor mortis in the jaw that the Maximum Imbecile had.

      They do say people start to resemble their dogs.

      • 177
        Coalition Wet Nappies says:

        Seems to have some serious malfunctions as a human replica.

        A complete overhaul at labour android productions is recommended.

        Especially unfortunate that the rictus smirk was held throughout the interview.

        • 208
          jgm2 says:

          Biting the inside of his cheek to try and send pain messages all round his body to fool his own nervous system so that he wouldn’t betray the characteristic ‘tells’ of being a bare-faced liar.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            He’s very proud that he’s “studied the economy for 25 years”.

            And only fucked it up for 13 of them.

    • 791
      lolol says:

      Pat wasn’t having the affair it was his wife.

      Who looks the cun’t now mong ? That would be you.

  49. 146
    thinkov says:

    can’t wait to see Ed B wipe the floor with no bed George

    it’s gonna be arma gideon time

    • 160
      Tom Badwind says:

      See 149 above.

    • 165
      jgm2 says:

      George has seen off three Labour chancellors already.

      And Balls is implicated in the Brownian economic clusterfuck right up to his lying eyeballs.

      My money is on George and not the deficit denier.

    • 169
      Mike Litorus says:

      Ed Bollox couldn’t wipe his arse without Gordon telling him what to do..

      • 204
        jgm2 says:

        I think that it’s settled fact that it was Brown who couldn’t wipe his arse without Ned telling him what to do.

        This economic clusterfuck, like much Brown liked to claim credit for, was not entirely of his own doing. Sure, Brown was the front-man – but Balls was the idiot behind the throne.

        Blair had Mandelson and Campbell. Brown had Balls.

        I’ve said it before – Brown didn’t act alone. He couldn’t fuck the economy single handedly. Balls was his chief enabler.

      • 248
        Gordon says:

        Today I am going to be a chocolate digestive biscuit.

    • 174
      Engineer says:

      Why do the Left laud a man who was a senior adviser, and then a Treasury minister, during and in the prelude to the worst economic disaster in Britain’s peacetime history? Balls does not have a record of success by any definition, does he?

  50. 148
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Ideal world !
    Blair get’s ripped apart tomorrow morning at Chilcott
    International arrest warrant issued by the Hague in the afternoon

    perfect day !

    • 228
      One of the Great Unwashed says:

      yes great, like Xmas all over again with Bliar on his way to the Hague with in 48 hours, and at last this war monger will be brought to account….

  51. 155
    Engineer says:

    Wonder if Yvette will be enjoying his post-neoclassical endogenous growth tonight?

  52. 168
  53. 171
    Joss Taskin says:

    When do we get to see photos of Postman Prat’s totty/tranny/toe-toucher ??

  54. 172
    Red Ed & Dickhead HM official opposition says:

    Thith is a hithtoric day for our parthy.

    Mithter Othbourne ith toatht.

    Pleath don’th be nathty to our new chanthellor, we know he’th fucked the Uk buth he thinkth he hath the tholuthion.

    Thankth for lithening folkths.

  55. 176
    Ed Balls is a cunt says:

    Wouldn’t it be delightful and ironic if that poisonous Ed Balls got testicular cancer?

    At least Alan Johnson is a human being. There’s a reason why so many Tories this evening have said they got on with him and are sorry to see him go. Blinky is a loathsome evil little snake.

    • 192
      jgm2 says:

      One of the main reasons the T*ries are sorry to see him go was that he was so crashingly incompetent that, compared to him, the T*ries could do anything they liked.

    • 210
      13eastie says:

      Ѕреаkіng оf сuntѕ, tоnіght’ѕ QТ lіnе-uр іѕ рrеtty fuсkіng ѕресіаl:

      Саrоlіnе Ѕреlmаn
      Аlаѕtаіr Саmрbеll
      Ѕіmоn Нughеѕ
      Gеоrgе Gаllаwаy
      Сlаrkе Саrlіѕlе

      • 219
        jgm2 says:

        Galloway ‘v’ Campbell.

        I think, in another life, Galloway could have fucked the UK even more comprehensively than Brown with his economic outlook but I like what George did to the US Senate Committee (was it?) over the Iraq enquiry.

        Should be a classic.

      • 224
        Laing says:

        yes, all c’unts, agreed

      • 232
        nell says:

        Hmm. You call itm special I call that rubbish!

        Who wants to listen to a panel of losers?!

        The only question I have is ‘when is cameron going to get rid of spelman?’

      • 499
        Ex Fleet St worker says:

        Who is Clarke Carlisle ?

  56. 189
    A Bloke says:


    FFS you couln’t make this up, the Labour triolls are licking their dicks in a squat somewhere in Pimlico.

    If ever proof was needed of a party devoid of talent or direction we see it here and now.

    This is better than Labour under Kinnock or Foot, this is comedy genious.


    • 196
    • 333
      6EQUJ5 says:

      Yep, the ‘New Generation’…….Ed and Ed..the New Chuckle Brothers.

    • 716
      William Gaygue says:


      FFS you couln’t make this up. If ever proof was needed of a party devoid of talent or direction we see it here and now. Warsi is the Party Chairman. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

      This is better than the Tories under IDS or me, this is comedy genious.

      Conservatives the gift that keeps giving: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

  57. 198
    Anonymous says:

    it’s all a load of bollocks
    and bollocks to it all

  58. 201
    Kinnochio & McDoom says:

    We’ve got our party back! Well alright!

    • 218
      nell says:

      Yes you have and we are so relieved about that.

      Now take it away and bury it in the wilds of Wales because we are all so glad to be shut of it!!

  59. 211
    nell says:

    What a loathsome, unlovely couple the balls’ are!!

    postmanpat was an incompetent fool when it came to economics but he was one of the last few remaining gentlemen of the labour party (and let’s face it they’ve had very few of them in the last 13 years!)

    If the balls’ have done a character assa’ssin’ation/out ing job on him , and I believe you guido that they have because that couple would do anything for power, then the rest of the labour party should stuff ‘em down a hole!!

    As an afterthought , if the balls’ have done this, the labour party will hate them. So why then has edmilitwit made ed’ecoerogenousexpert on spending more than you earn’balls, chancellor?

    Another bad militwit decision!!

    • 256
      Bogeyman says:

      Yes, the postman was a gentleman in the same way as the floor manager of my local carpet shop is a gentleman.

      He, too, is dreary little man with a nasal voice.

      • 284
        nell says:

        No bogeyman you are wrong about that.

        posrtmanpat really was a decent human being and a gentleman.

        He was hopeless in economics and miltwit was wrong to give him that brief .

        But balls has made a fatal political decision here to attack his personal life in order to get the job of shadow chancellor.

        balls is now exposed for what he is : an ass ass in. In short an ass!!

        If he ever had any respect fron anyone , and I doubt that, he’s lost it now!!

        • 315
          Bogeyman says:

          Did I say the floor manager of my carpet shop was not a gentleman? He is. So by all accounts is A. Johnson.

          But AJ was tipped as Labour leader, ergo a possible future Prime Minister. They have to deal with people like the President of the USA. Obama does not need new carpets.

    • 545
      South of the M4 says:

      Not convinced. Johnson was popular but off message with the ‘sons & daughters of Brown and Unions ‘. Johnson was deliberately promoted to shadow chancellor knowing that he would be out of his depth. The affair rumours having been ‘held in stock ‘ for some time. They are in opposition, they have time to play the long game. Getting rid of Johnson has been a deliberate strategy to strengthen the non-blairite
      faction. Now they have their moment. It’s hard left from now on in.

      • 561
        Mike Hunt says:

        And opposition for the rest of their pointless lives.

        There are times when there could almost be a God.

  60. 215
    Balls for Britain! says:

    I wonder what Gordon is whispering in Eds ear tonight.

  61. 216
    Hootch says:

    Be interesting to see if the civil servant is disciplined this time. When Prezza was caught nailing Tracey Temple, the reds were in power and could hush it up. I am really looking forward to finding out the the Dept that the tw@t is from and what coalition Minister will have the responsibility to invesigate any breaches of the Code.

    More power to Guido – you won me a bet!!

  62. 220
    It's the way I tell 'em says:

    Belardinelli? Isn’t that a brand of pasta sauce?

  63. 225
    QWERTY says:

    John Craig on sky News

    “All of the top shadow cabinet jobs are held by Brown’s cronies”

    Over at the BBC, “Alan Johnson was a genius and economic genius, a man who was greater than Winston St Churchill, he was the white Mandela”

    Prick Robinson still has shit all around his mouth from licking Johnson’s rectum clean, soon to be followed by blowing Ed Ball’s

    • 258
      Tessa Tickles says:

      I saw this, too. “Alan Johnson spoke human, Ed Balls speaks pure economics.”

      No, sorry toenails, Ed “so what” Balls speaks pure bollocks. The BBC needs to know we know this.

  64. 233
    Blinky's personal poodle is a cunt says:

    A quick google and we find Belardinelli has previous.


  65. 235
    Bogeyman says:

    Anyone else noticed the Grauniad website has been down for several hours? I am bereft.

    • 255
      A says:

      No because it’s not down.

      • 264
        Bogeyman says:

        Well I can’t open it. Everything else works (if it didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to post this, would I?).

        • 277
          A says:

          Well, the live blog on Johnson basically says head for Guido so you’re in the right place.

        • 293
          Bogeyman says:

          This is odd. I wanted to give Balls a kicking.

          • A says:

            A lot of people do but I wouldn’t advise it in actuality. I see him as a sort of “Mongo” figure. Nothing works against him, he just plows through you like a rapey ape.

          • Susie says:

            What was that about the Labour leaker on ‘two Shadow Cabinet ministers’ being involved in expense fiddles last week? We can only hope… Magda and Joe?

  66. 237
    bodo says:

    “I’m Rick Nobinson, Standing outside wherever the shadow cabinet hang out,”

    Well done Rick, but Sky have just shown live pics of Johnson scurrying rat-like from a constituency meeting in Hull. BBC meanwhile showing some Labour talking-head in a studio somewhere. Is £3.5bn a year not enough for the Beeb to chase a story?

    • 245
      genghiz the kahn says:

      BBC News 24 AJ is a saint…sadly missed…wonderful guy etc.

      Meanwhile Cameron kicks the support away from the disabled, and they are still highlighting that Mumsnet story for what its worth.

      Help Labour its in the DNA of the Hoons at White Powder City.

      • 324
        bodo says:

        Yup, and it’s hard to imagine the Beeb making a fool of Johnson by asking him about employers’ NI rates… and replaying the clip.

  67. 246
    Blinky's personal poodle is a cunt says:

    Now here’s an interesting one. A certain Alex Belardinelli submitted a comment to a BBC Online “Talking Point” about Stephen B(L)yers in 2002. An objective opinion of course!

    Who actually cares about Martin Sixsmith? Does anyone seriously believe that anyone voting in last week’s elections gave any thought to this dragged out affair? The press always need a petty and insignificant story they can resurrect from the grave whenever there’s a dull patch in the news. In 2000 it was the Dome, in 2001 it was foot-and-mouth, now its Stephen Byers. If Byers went it would not be a victory for democracy, but for the trivia obsessed press. The fact that the Tories are still going on about it proves three things. Firstly, what an embarrassingly incompetent opposition the Government faces. Secondly, how out of touch with public opinion the Conservatives are. And finally, that they have nothing of substance to say about anything else. Byers is actually starting to make a real difference in transport and regional government. Taking back control of Railtrack will perhaps turn out to be one of the best decisions the Government has ever made. Tory Transport Chief Theresa May still hasn’t been able to lay a finger on him. Judging by her performance today I think will be sacked long before Byers ever is.
    Alex Belardinelli, UK


  68. 249
    Blinky's personal poodle is a cunt says:

    There’s one thing to be said for Alex Belardinelli. He has a face you could never tire of punching.

  69. 261
    denverthen says:

    A [i]coup d’twats[/i] if ever I saw one.

  70. 262
    Engineer says:

    Belardinelli = McBride Mk II ?

  71. 267
    Socialist Worker says:

    Didnt ZaNuLabour have some sort of strictly style dance off for the shadow cabinet after Ed’s union mates made him commisar? And didn’t Ed Bollocks come precisely nowhere in that dance off?

    not so democratic of Ed to give him the job just like that

    • 296
      Voter says:

      lilly-livered and totally untalented Ed has had a gun stuck in his ear by babyface Balls for a while now – it’s called democracy don’t you know.

  72. 269
    nell says:


    ed’knifeintheback’balls and yvette’i’mbetterthanyou’cooper and their plan to get into the mega money of no 10 downing street, as pm and chancellor, by smearing postmanpat!!

    Entertaining isn’t it? this labour in-fighting!!!

    And doesn’t it show people like the balls’ up in their real colours??!!

    Labour are such a backstabbing bunch aren’t they??!

    They’d ki ll their granny for her slippers wouldn’t they??!!

  73. 279
    angelnstar says:

    KEN Livingstone is working and being paid by PRESS t.v. One of the founders denies the Holocaust, is homophobic and rejects the concept of womens’ rights.


  74. 280
    david cameron says:

    two eds are better than one. he he he

  75. 285
    sh202 says:

    Jonah Brown is The Freakfather, he’s back in command:


  76. 287
    Voter says:

    you know what?

    the real losers in all of this are, as usual, the electorate. We have a coalition that is quite wobbly, to say the least – an opportunistic government that nobody voted for. And an opposition that looks like it couldn’t make a jelly trifle without falling out or even falling in it!

    It says clearly that UK politics is in the shit which is great in the economic circumstances we find ourselves. These bastards, paid by us, are plainly only interested in their own situations and don’t give a toss about the people who pay them to be there.

    They should all resign before they find themselves in gaol or we physically kick the shit out of them

    • 318
      Robespierre says:

      If you need some help just give me a shout. Success guaranteed.

    • 319
      fartinatrance says:

      I like your ‘jelly’ theme, what with ‘wobbly coalitions’ and ‘trifle’…I bet that nice Ed balls likes trifle , he is always got that smile on his face.

    • 323
      Anonymous says:

      Ha! When was the LAST time you shower of morris dancing wickers “physically kicked ” the shit out of YOUR govt??

      If you HAD, then this country would perhaps have been one we could have been proud of!


    • 392
      mikesdog08 says:

      Ed Will take “Gideon the nodding donkey” too the cleaners.

    • 541
      Geordie Scoot says:

      If they were all competent life would be very dull. I personally will vote anyone with serious personality defects, a dodgy past, financial irregularities and a propensity to copulate with the nearest thing with a pulse, provided they make ridiculous and unsustainable promises after my self-interest.

  77. 299
    Milliepeed Minor says:

    Yes I talk to Gordon & Neil everyday……….

    But thats the last fcuking time I’ll listen to Ed “Blinky” Balls……..the fcuking ar*ehole…..

  78. 300
    Manlickscum & Sweaty Ball says:

    Oh swell, Balls is back. All swell that ends swell.

  79. 309
    The house of shirtlifters says:

    I hope it is a female civil servant. There has been far too many fufge packer revelations of late.

  80. 314
    Pundit says:

    Labour politicians eh? Don’t you love them? They’d make their own babies into kebabs if it furthered their “careers”.

  81. 320
    Tortoise & the hare says:

    I shall miss the tortoise features of the economic wizard Al Jonson? or whoever he was.

  82. 321
    KaboomBoomBoom says:

    Is Alex the same chap as “belardinellia@parliament.uk” who uses his work email address uses for Paypal payments? I paid him at this email address in 2004. Didn’t know civil servants were allowed to use govt property for personal profit.

  83. 322
    David Minibanana says:

    Never turn your back on this Liebour opposition.

  84. 325
    AnotherAnon. says:

  85. 327
    Alan Johnson, good egg says:

    In this case it appears it’s true that it couldn’t have happened to a nicer fella.

  86. 329
    Icarus says:

    Prescott and Johnson, both caught with Civil Servants, both from Hull. What is wrong with Hull women?

  87. 330
    Gooey Blob says:

    Alan Johnson was that rarest of things, a likeable politician. Maybe he wasn’t up to being chancellor, but given his track record, neither is Ed Balls.

    Labour have lost a Labrador, and only Rottweilers remain on the front bench. A pity.

    • 343
      Anonymous says:

      But apart from the mongs here, does the rest of the country really care?

    • 399
      DimEd says:

      True. Very true indeed.
      What he lacked in intellegence, he had in personality and humanity.
      Enter Balls & Co … what he lacks in …… is precisely what Labour needs right now.

  88. 331
    Anonymous says:

    All Moslems are dangerous terrorists.
    All socially concerned humans are the enemy within.
    Greed is good.
    So is pain, evidenced from the cheers ringing out from the government benches at the news of cuts, cuts and more cuts to front line services, as opposed to management.

    Don’t ya just love Conservatism?

  89. 336
    The Rev'd David Boulton says:

    If all this is true – then we really should not let any of these hateful people anywhere near the levers of power. Left, right or middle-of-the-road, you just cannot trust a politician to be anything other than devious and self-serving.

  90. 337
    The Socialist Nightmare Is Always Near At Hand says:

    “Yet still Miliband rewarded him with the prize he craved… ”

    Well, that will be because although a supposedly educated man, Miliband is a dim fuck

  91. 338
    Anonymous says:

    Bliss to see the liebour scum knifing one another in the back. But still the dumbos say ” Ave voted Labour all me life……..”

  92. 341
    Dan says:

    First visit to this site and what a disappointment. The comments read like a special needs edition of the Daily Mail. Sad.

  93. 342
    Eunuchonomics says:

    Praise the Lord!

  94. 344
    Liebore says:

    Kinnochio: I’ve got my party back.

    Brown: I’ve got my potty back.

  95. 351
    QWERTY says:

    As usual when a leftie c u n t gets found out shagging of the side the BBC goes easy, just like fat northern shit (OK I know he’s Welsh as well) Prescott

  96. 357
    Anonymous says:

    I have never been on this site until now, but it is worse than I could have imagined.

  97. 358
    grobdj says:

    Much play being made of Blinky’s First from Oxford, particularly Rick Nobinson who implies Balls is some kind of economic guru

    PPE=Philosophy, Politics and Economics………..

    Ed Balls’ economic credentials are already toast, so Oxford may not be the best place to educate your children

  98. 362
    Herman Achille Van Rompuy says:

    Winter not over
    Personal reasons could not
    be foreseen. Balls up.

  99. 365
    Labour Sleaze says:

    Labour Sleaze continues apace.

  100. 366
    Ed & Ed comedy duo. says:

    Let the comedy commence.

  101. 368
    Ed's Weakness Exposed says:

    “Alan was the BEST man for the job” !!

    Keep close to your friends but closer to your enemies, eh Ed ?

    Come the Ides of March you’ll have wished you hadn’t made today’s appointment.

    Bad decision, Ed. Bad for you, bad for my country. Typical Labour.

    You have just given Balls & Co a tilt at the nation’s leader-in-future.
    Toenails is already fawning.

    Goodnight Ed.

  102. 377
    Tom Baldwin says:

    Vote Ed get Ed

  103. 380
    QWERTY says:

    Take a read at our soldiers ripping some BBC c u n t anew arse on this forum.

    Fuck the BBC


    • 398
      Anonymous says:

      “our soldiers”
      Isn’t that what it says on your birth certificate under the heading father?

      • 417
        Anotheanonnymouse says:

        At least he’s got something under ‘father’ on his birth certificate – unlike you.

      • 425
        QWERTY says:

        Anon, another leftie c u n t. Shouldn’t you be raping an 8 year old boy in some London urinal? That’s what you fuckers normally get up to when not protesting.

        • 440
          Anonymous says:

          If i were into raping 8 year old boys, don’t worry, you’d be first on the list.

          • Anonybottom says:

            If……I like it.

          • Anonymous says:

            If you vote LibLabCon, you undoubtedly do.

          • Anonybottom says:

            I think we’ve established that the ‘If’ at the beginning of your comment @ 426 was totally superfluous if you’re admitting to being a Labour voter. You’ve helped to shaft a whole generation with £5 trillion of fucking debt. Now crawl away and die.

          • R Swipping says:

            With Anonybottom’s devasting insight in unmasking hopelessly partisan Labour trolls, what future is there left for the anarchists?

        • 448
          Dan says:

          You cannot possibly believe that, can you? Your comment wasn’t funny, or thought provoking. Just childish. Tou wouldn’t have the courage to call anyone a c u n t to their face so either shut up or please GROW UP

  104. 382
    Foodmanuk says:

    If the suggestion that Ed Balls has caused the resignation is true then it makes millibands decision to promote him as being disgraceful. No honour amongst thieves I would venture.

  105. 390
    Red Ed & Thick Ed says:

    Two Eds are better than one, especially with these two useless Huntz.

  106. 405
    Anonymous says:

    Come on Guido

    Tell it like it is. This is just complete shit made up by Coulson. Anyone who thinks you are not his mouthpiece is going to be in no doubt now…

    • 432
      jgm2 says:

      Nope. Johnson is definitely quitting. It’s on t’BBC.

      • 450
        Anonymous says:

        not that – the nonsense about Balls setting it up.

        • 464
          jgm2 says:

          Oh do come on. That’s exactly the kind of thing Balls would do. He was Brown’s chief enabler. The idiot behind the Maximum Imbecile. There are reports of him going berserk at Brown when he failed to execute an earlier coup against Blair.

          He tried to replace Darling with himself. The better to deny the deficit.

          Not set up by Balls?

          His Spad not in the frame?

          You should stick to putting up youtube clips – at least there’s the slight possibility you’re trying to bring some political balance. You sound even more desperate and whiny and a Labour apologist when you try arguing.

          • Anonymous says:

            Cabinet sources tell me that George Osborne set up Wiliam Hague and David Cameron set up David Laws.

          • jgm2 says:

            Hohohoho. That’s more like it.

            Go on, post that Youtube clip of Hague. For balance.


            Rattled doesn’t begin to describe you.

          • jgm2 is Cameron's little doggie says:

            Dave’s little doggie is getting angry. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!


        • 467
          Engineer says:

          The problem is that given past history, it’s very believable. It’s absolutely in character for Balls and his minions to brief against people. It’s what he does, all the time.

          • jgm2 says:

            It really is. Balls is the sort who would deliberately feed Johnson a duff line to take or bad figures just to watch him make an arse of himself in public.

          • AC1 says:

            That’s basically what Ball’s “lecturer” told an acquaintance.


            It’s complete horseshit.

            Only a trio of paranoid wankers like you could possibly believe that someone who didn’t have the slightest idea Johnson was going now has un-named “sources” [yeah, right LOL!] telling him Balls somehow set the whole thing up, including a marriage breakdown, with the Sunday Times.

            Desperate, desperate stuff.

  107. 406
    Snookie says:

    Wait, isn’t Johnson married to Kirsten Imrie?

  108. 410
    rEd Millibwand says:

    I have jutht appointed Gordon Brown ath Leader of the Labour party.

  109. 412
    Down With Brown! says:

    Postie went because he failed to deliver.

  110. 433
    Watcher says:

    Is this the Red Box Blues story, or was that someone else? I always thought Johnson was too nice to be “Nick”.

  111. 439
    john says:

    who has Johnson been shagging? Is it a woman?

  112. 441
    Zed says:

    WRONG Decision, Brother.
    After 3 months in the wilderness you could’ve been shaddow chancellor today ..
    But then again your politica skils were always found wanting.
    Until today I wasn’t aware that was a genetic flaw.

  113. 459
    Ed Balls is a cunt says:

    This site seems to be under attack by Labour trolls. Blinky becoming shadow chancellor has obviously got them worried.

    • 469
      jgm2 says:

      No. They’re upset that we’re taking the p155 out of Johnson and Balls.

      How very dare we.


      • 547
        R Swipping says:

        When it comes to the subject of pissing into the wind, no one can hold a candle to jgm2.

  114. 460
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    What a great time for British politics !
    The Worst bunch of so called tories in history along with the worst ever leader !
    and a Labour party led by a little boy who is just about to be mauled , humiliated and deposed by the nearest thing to Hitler we have seen in 70 years
    The “Ball’s of Balls” to stand on tv and say Johnson will be a great loss to labour by the very bastard who hired the aid to destroy him is unheard of
    It used to be one party exposing the wrong doings of the other
    but how things have changed with the new breed
    once useless Ed has gone it will clear the way for his brothers return so the gang can be complete once more

  115. 461
    Uncomfortably numb says:

    Does anybody on this site give a f*** about how this country is being (miss-)governed, or is is just an opportunity to deliver awfully clever and witty textbites?

  116. 463
    Dack Blog says:

    Some of the papers claiming his wife’s been having an affair with one of their bodyguards.

  117. 466
    Ed Balls is a cunt says:

    Bad Al and George Gallingway on QT. Puke.

  118. 468
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Martial arts expert Alan Johnson
    decribes what he will do to the bastard who grassed him up


  119. 471
    albacore says:

    So poor Al’s out and Big Ed’s in
    Oh deary me, ain’t that a sin?
    And is that petty playground putsch
    Supposed to give us all a rush?
    You want cold shivers down your spine?
    A match and book will work just fine

  120. 478
    Ed Balls is a cunt says:

    What the fuck is the chairman of the footballers association doing on QT? He just said Blinky is a man of principle!!! Christ on a fucking moped!

  121. 479
    Tube_Thumber says:

    i thought posties wife was fucking the bodyguard?

  122. 480
    Zed says:

    I note Labour-Rent-A-Crowd have been invited en bloc to Question Time once again..
    So so typical.
    Time to restructure the BBC (when did I hear that last?)
    I despair.

    • 493
      David Cameron says:

      I love the BBC.

    • 496
      Anonymous says:

      You can always buy some rope at B&Qs

    • 502
      Joss Ayinglike says:

      Have you ever tried to apply to be in the QT audience ? I did. They want to know everything about you apart from your inside leg measurement. There’s even a little box to fill in about your politics. Insert ‘ Conservative’ and your application is automatically deleted.

    • 507
      Dame Celia Molestrangler says:

      You’re so right, just turned over in disgust, a real left wing self-congratulatory love fest. Who in their right minds would describe Mcavity as an economic heavyweight…. oh yeah, same person who thought postie might be able to tackle the job. Al ja beeba strikes again. FFS, Dave, do something about them!

      Millipede will live to regret Balls. Oh and worse, putting voldemort !the coffers are empty” in charge of work and pensions brief.


    • 593
      AC1 says:

      QT is pure Labour party astroturfing.

      Can only happen thanks to the “unique” way AlJaBeebya is funded (threats).

      • 851
        Tell it like it really is says:

        The Toady prog = Fri am = Justin Creep whilst cooing together with some US nonenity about how Oblamer is blueblood and spiritual leader (FFS) trotted out the line – But here at bbc we have to be IMPARTIAL – beyond irony.

  123. 485
    Ratsniffer says:

    When Balls speaks he always seems to have a slightly smarmy, slightly smug shit eating grin, however serious the subject. He reeks of the playground bully, smiling as he sits across your face and farts.

  124. 487
    Postman Prat says:

    You might say that my resignation marks the Last Post…..

  125. 488
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Johnsons final meeting with his economic advisors !


  126. 489
    Anonymous says:

    Where’s the Oil cash stash, Gorgeous George ?

  127. 490
    Ed Ball is a cunt says:

    Bad Al is a truly evil c-unt. Wish he’d just top himself or get cancer.

  128. 494
    Ed Ball is a cunt says:

    Iraq now being discussed on QT. Galloway first up. Should be fun when it gets to Bad Al.

    • 514
      Eeu to me says:

      Do the Nuconned us have anybody other than the farmers wife to put on QT,it’s like putting her amongst the sharks,she will be eaten alive ,it requires a NuConned us shark to be around those two..

      • 544
        Zed says:


        She IS being eaten alive.

        By the audience too. She is out of her depth, that’s why she was invited I’d guess.

        • 556
          jgm2 says:

          It’s Barnsley. They vote Labour. Because their dad’s did.

          • expat twat says:

            Hear! Hear!

          • Old Tory Bigot says:

            When are they going to do a QT from somewhere civilised?

            It’s always these shit holes full of students or Labour donkeys.

          • Anonymous says:

            What’s Simon Hughes excuse ?
            He votes Labour because …. (answers in less than 400 words)
            He’ll choose his moment when the ConDem alliance is having problems then he’ll defect with his incompetent pal Cable.

          • Susie says:

            I’m surprised they turn up at all…

            Their kids are probably being gang raped by M•sims in mummy’s bed while she’s on the telly…

        • 559
          R Swipping says:

          As an honest politician, she is so obviously out of her depth.

  129. 498
    Ed Ball is a cunt says:

    I don’t like Galloway but top marks to him for calling him Goebells on QT!!!!

  130. 505
    Lana Turner says:

    The Postman Always Rings Twice….Laura!!

  131. 509
    Jonathon P says:

    Fucking ghastly Balls & his equally loathsome wife have now slithered up to pole position…… Watch out Eddie…..God how I love politics!!

  132. 511
    aChrist says:

    AC on QT looks like he’s got TB

  133. 516
    "Alan Johnson’s suspected affair with a civil servant was widely rumoured around Westminster" says:

    Yet you hadn’t heard a peep about it or bothered to drop hints here like you did with Hague.

    And you seriously expect people to believe you about “Shadow Cabinet Sources” just because you know the name of Balls SpAd ?

    You’re talking shit.

    • 520
      jgm2 says:

      Go on. Post a youtube clip of Hague ‘for balance’.

      God you’re really rattled tonight.

      • 537
        jgm3 says:

        Guido lied about Lord Taylor because there are no Tory expenses piggies.


        • 548
          jgm2 says:


          Even though you’re a great big Labour apologist button and I was confident I’d totally fucked with your mind (Psychology not being a proper science and all) I wasn’t certain until you posted that.


          Do the Hague Youtube clip. For balance.

          Go on. You know you want to.


        • 551
          AC1 says:

          Where’……s the blog?
          Where’s the blog? Where’s the blog?
          Where’s the blog? Where’s the blog? Where’……s the blo-o-og?
          Where’s the blog? Where’s the blog? Where’s the blog?
          Where’……s the blo-o-og? Where’s the blog!?

        • 554
          jgm3 says:



  134. 517
    Baroness Warsi G String says:

    Oh Johnson take me up the chutney

  135. 521
    Anonymous says:

    “tens of hundreds of thousands”

  136. 525
    R Swipping says:

    You’re either in front, or bringing up the party rear.

  137. 529
    Pendle new gay mp says:

    I love you Johnson

    • 563
      Hagues friend Dorothy says:

      Ahh welcome to the club you can be my pps

    • 564
      Time for the truth says:

      What a truly horrible bunch of evil bastard Marxist scum – if they will do this to each other what chance do the British people have? they would rape and sell their granny for political advantage.

      Well Gordon I have to hand it to you, you have managed to breed a festering nest of evil who will spawn and attract others like them, keeping all of good intent away – nothing but the cold light of exposure on this lot will do.

  138. 540
    the next Mr Katona says:

    It’s actually quite scary to think that the fucking arseholes in parliament, from all parties, are apparently the “best” we have got to do the job ?

    It’s no wonder Baroness Warsi feels she can stand up and shit all over the British people without facing any real punishment.

    We are fucked.

  139. 543
    Female beards says:

    Watching question time in HD is OK but seeing Caroline Spelman’s facial hair in its full glory is gross. Though surely the BBC lighting techs must be aware of this?

  140. 552
    jgm3 says:

    I love Dave and his close friend Baroness Warsi. No wonder I’m his obedient little doggie and arselicker when he talks such sense as this.


    • 587
      jgm2 says:


      ‘Conservative deputy chairman Michael Fallon said: “Alan Johnson is a good man and I wish him well. But what really beggars belief is the appointment of Ed Balls…

      “He was Gordon Brown’s first lieutenant… [They] brought the government to the brink of bankruptcy.“‘

      Get used to it Labour bed-wetters. You’re going to be hearing that for the next fifteen years. Or until Balls gets sacked.


  141. 555
    Anonymous says:

    Will end up in the hand of private Cooooooompanies.

  142. 557
    Anonymous says:

    The earlier the NHS is privatised the better for all of our people.


  143. 558
    ACI says:

    Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!! Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!Tat TAT!! tatty tat TAT TAT TAAAATT!! TAT! tat! TAAAAT! TAT!!

  144. 560
    Dick Scratcher says:

    • 571
      JUST ASKIN says:


  145. 562
    David Cameron says:

    jgm2 is a Ghastly Piece of Filth like Nick Griffin.


  146. 566
    The BBC should be put down says:

    Fucking fucking Hell. I have not seen Question Time in years and now I know why.

    The BBC selects an Audience of leftist dullards and feeds them with leftist shite.

    • 573
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Claps all round for Al Campbell (shudder)

      • 614
        Barnsley massif - postal voting division says:

        He may be a wicked and malicious c*unt who helped rig the evidence to justify a war in Iraq resulting in hundreds of thousands of deaths and drive a brave public servant to suicide just so his wife would get a pension.

        But he’s one of us and his hearts in the right place.

      • 618
        Barnsley massif - postal voting division says:

        e may be a wicked and malicious c*unt who helped rig the evidence to justify a war in Iraq resulting in hundreds of thousands of deaths and dr*ve a brave public servant to suicide just so his wife would get a pension.

        But he’s one of us and his hearts in the right place.

    • 578
      R Swipping says:

      As long as they get satisfaction for their £142.50, who cares?

    • 691
      Susie says:

      And if they’re somewhere where leftist dullards are thin on the ground, they bring their own in a coach.

  147. 569
    Zed says:

    “We’ll take one more question from the woman on the far left”

    How ironic.

    You take most questions from the people from the far left Mr D.

    • 694
      Susie says:

      Did you notice when Campbell and Galloway got into a sort of feeding frenzy, but Spellman was saying her piece quite successfully, how Dims immediately jumped in and interrupted her again?

      He really sucks.

  148. 570
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    O/T – perhaps Baroness Whoresi could look into this sort of shit before accusing the rest of us of bigotry


  149. 572
    I've ate balls says:

    ANAGRAM of Alastair Campbell: A baptismal recall

  150. 576
    QWERTY says:

    So it’s Alan Johnson’s wife doing the shagging on the side is it?

  151. 584
    jon featherman says:

    As it is the wife and the bodyguard – is the title of this thread just rubbish – polite word

  152. 591
    jgm2 says:


    ‘Conservative deputy chairman Michael Fallon said: “Alan Johnson is a good man and I wish him well. But what really beggars belief is the appointment of Ed Balls…

    “He was Gordon Brown’s first lieutenant… [They] brought the government to the brink of b*nk*u*t*y.“‘

    Get used to it Labour bed-wetters. You’re going to be hearing that for the next fifteen years. Or until Balls gets sacked.


    • 599
      Buggins says:

      Young innocent numpties.
      Just what are they like?

      Read your history books, Sonny.

      • 647
        A Labour Party History Book says:

        The British Empire was evil and hated throughout the world, until Chez Guevara, Joe Stalin and Polly Toynbee created a carbon-neutral zero-emission global socialist utopia in which no-one wanted for anything and everyone was happy.

        There was a brief hiccup in 2010-2011 when the Tory-led government ruined all of Glorious Labour’s astonishing successes, but it was dealt with swiftly.

        As told by Mad Hattie Harman’s Curiously Cavernous Front Bottom, and believed by no-one.

        • 659
          Old Tory Bigot says:

          Ha ha! Very good.

        • 674
          straw man dum dum says:

          dats funneee coz dey is all commeenazi’s innits ?!? fuud gows in mowth ?!?

        • 698
          Iron D. says:

          Ha ha! Very good. I see you are taking the piss out of toryboys who parrot witless stereotypes because they are too thick to have a brain of their own. You should have added Marx to make it really realistic though.
          Always remember just how stupid they are.

  153. 592
    Herr E. Nutz says:

    Votch zis space.

  154. 598
    Anonymous says:

    Guido, as I have always suspected you’re a chancer who actually knows fuck all, you have no insider information and took a wild stab in the dark. So much for your ‘sources’ and ‘widely rumoured affair.’

    You’ve made yourself look a right clown (and not for the first time!)

  155. 600
    David Cameron says:

    I support Baroness Warsi 100%.

  156. 604
    Beyond ridiculous says:

    I just can not believe the impartiality of this week’s QT. Spelman is the only person representing the left and the Chair will not allow her to speak.

  157. 605
  158. 607
    LAB 43%, CON 36%, LDEM 10%, says:

    oh dear!

    • 611
      Nick Clegg says:

      I pledge to be Leader for 5 more years and keep Dave in power.

      I pledge to win the AV vote like I won Oldham!

      Where has my Party gone ???

    • 636
      Durrrrrrrrr! says:

      Wait a few days for events to trickle through, dullard.

      • 700
        ROFL! says:

        You mean VAT, inflation, unemployment or the NHS?

        Because the public really gives a shit about shadow chancellors don’t they?


        • 715
          short term memory loss wanker says:

          Durrrrrrrr Who was at the helm of the Exchequer with Gordon Brorown swigging champers with the bankers once a month over dinner?
          We really do give a shit about who is shadow Chancellor, particularly one who was so drubbed at his own seat that he had to launch his leadership campaign in a constituency 70 miles away from his own in he was unfortunate enough to bump into one of his electorate. Balls had over 90 per cent shaved off his majority in one swoop!
          we will watch this tw@t with interest

          • ROFL! says:

            And the public never stops talking about Brown these days do they? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

            Why didn’t Obama mention Bush in the midterms ?

            When you muster sufficient brainpower to work out the reason and why Cameron can’t fight the last election again, get back to us you fuckwitted simpleton.

          • Johnson largess says:

            ROFL: You’re the fuck witted simpleton, I bet your voting slips have that printed on them

          • ROFL! says:

            Poor tat thought the Postie would be PM.

            Awww….. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

            You fucking retard

          • Duuurrrr! Rofl's grammatical cousin. says:

            Touched a nerve? That happens when you think money grows on trees you tw&t

  159. 612
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    QT next venues:

    Cambridge (audience packed with lefty students)

    Workington (audience packed with Labour donkeys)

    Plus ca change.

    • 617
      expat twat says:

      It’s a disgrace.

      • 773
        Anonymous says:

        Whatever they do between now and the BBC cuts they are going to happen. Goodbye to a rubbish lot of lefties.

    • 699
      Susie says:

      Cambridge City is a small yellow dot in the deep Blue Tory sea of East Anglia. That’s why the BBC always have to go back there and be able to say that QT covers every region of the UK.

  160. 619
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    And now MARK FUCKING STEEL is on This Week.

    I have to shoot the telly now.

    • 633
      Anonymous says:

      With Fiona, the old blond tart.
      And Jaquie Smith.
      And Portillo.
      And Brillo.

      Who needs cheap pornstars?

  161. 621
    Poor sod says:

    Johnson’s wife’s affair with his bodyguard: Marital turmoil forced Shadow Chancellor to quit


  162. 629
    Richard from Warks says:

    Jaquie Smith looking hot, hot, hot, on this week, in a strict governess type of way.
    Surely she deserves greater exposure.

  163. 631
    Dack Blog says:

    So have they both been having an affair or has Guido been sold a pup? Are we in front of him and he’s behind?

  164. 634
    Brown Broadcasting Company says:

    Fiona Phillips (Liebour Supporter) on Brillo slating the government rather than being objective on her presentation. WTF!

    Timney’s Tits next to Portillo on the sofa.

    • 642
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      She’s getting ‘over exited’.

      ‘My GP seeing pound signs over my head’ – stupid bint.

      Looks like a dog. Afghan hound possibly.

      • 657
        Zed says:


        Her and her husband rake tens of millions in … then she complains her kids are treated to 5th choice comprehensive school !

        Look this cow up on Wiki to see the truth about her constant socialist bleating about “I feel your pain”.

        Labour Hypocrite at the very top level.

        What a spoilt disgusting bint.

        • 676
          jgm2 says:

          Her and her husband rake tens of millions in … then she complains her kids are treated to 5th choice comprehensive school !

          She should move to Diane Abbott’s constituency. The state schools there are now so good that if her only son wasn’t already grown up and out of (private) school she’d be delighted to send him there. So she would. Honest.

  165. 640
  166. 655
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Portillo on TW:

    Balls is unsackable and has absolute power in the Labour Party.

    Spot on analysis.

  167. 660
    Bri says:

    Is it all part of the naughty schoolboys plot, if he can bring balls into line he can lead the next government

  168. 670
    The Doctor. says:

    I wish Guido would be straight on with the stories here. First the innuendo of being outed implies that Alan is Gay. Instead of being so hush hush and secretive, either state “Johnson Gay Affair” or like the Mail have done “Johnson wife Affair”. Your losing my respect and interest now Guido. This IMO is another example of your insider knowledge falling flat on its arse.

    • 673
      jgm2 says:

      Does this mean Hague isn’t gay then?

      • 692
        jgm2 is William Hague's next Spad says:

        You sound disappointed because you wanted to move inside Hagues arsehole if you ever got too ashamed of living inside Cameron’s ringpiece.


    • 677
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Collect your refund from the ticket kiosk in the foyer.

      • 695
        The Doctor. says:

        If Guido gets his “facts” wrong, then he is off the radar IMO. You “Old Tory Bigot” remind me of a caricature of Beavis and Butthead. Oh look “Alan is GAY, tug tug tug, moan moan moan”. Life is too short to trawl the net of non news sites; There is a good site out there: “Climate Change is caused by Wanking”, google it, its right up your street.

        • 708
          Old Tory Bigot says:

          Oh yes you’ve got me bang to rights Doc. Eh?

          You obviously know what I think about any subject.

          I actually don’t think “Alan is GAY”. Who the fuck brought that up?

          Also I think climate change is a real concern.

          Take the mote out of your own eye dear doctor.

          • Name lost due to cache clearing tragedy says:

            The Doctor has gay thoughts on the mind. Quite a lot, it would seem.

        • 712
          Hamish MacTabbish says:

          climate change could be eradicated if all the ultra uber green Nazis just terminated themselves. Lots less hot air. And no more BBC Whoopee!
          Just a thought!

          • David Cameron says:

            I love the BBC and Al Gore.

          • Johnson largess says:

            I hate Al Gore and the BBC and th IPCc and the removal of the words man made from Gllobal Warming Arguments, though I do like the ter Anthropomorthic instead of ‘man made’, tha should sort out the thickies

          • Johnson largess says:

            bugger predictive texyting!

  169. 671
    MB. says:

    I was watching Red Ed on the news making his statement earlier. Why does he speak out of the side of his mouth, it is rather like watching someone who has had a stroke.

  170. 678
    Kim Jong Broon says:

    I’m so wonley

  171. 686
    David Camoron says:

    I’m standing behind Warsi 100% even if my Lib dem friends and that Ghastly Piece of Filth Nick Griffin don’t like her.


    • 833
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      Warsi is a fool but for Champagne Charlie to accuse others of not being up to the job is given his record of turning up to events too pissed to speak properly and not turning up too events due to being too pissed to speak properly.

  172. 690
    Anonymous says:

    You sad, sad people. I’ve never felt so low about the state of our once great nation. People posting on this site are so full of hate and bile.

    Please sit quietly alone, and think about your own miserable lives that drives the hatred inside you.

    I pity you all

  173. 709
    Calamity Clegg says:

    I pledge to be Chancellor in a few months as Guido has sources inside the Cabinet that confirm it.

  174. 710
    Milliepeed Minor says:

    Please remember to watch our former greatest leader President Bliar later today, with his session at the Chilcot enquirey, and its very pleasing to note that Chilcot cannot get enough of our former greatest leader & have pleaded with him to return for a second glorious time, hopefully all day

    Our Greatest Leader will no doubt evade answering any question directly, and quite rightly he has no need to give any truthful answers or infromation at all. That is not in his nature plus his wonderful wife Cherie wont allow it.

    The british tax payers should be thanked for providing all of the thousands of extra Police as security to restrain his adoring British Public who just wish to shower the greatest Leader with there adoring best wishes, when he arrives & when he leaves.

    Most go need as I need to finish my detention by writing out 500 times “why the fcuk did I make that tosser Johnson the Shadow Chancellor” And give them to my New Head Mr Balls without delay !

    • 713
      David Camermong says:

      I supported Blair and the Iraq war and I still support Blair on the Iraq War.

      Afghanistan is going well isn’t it ?

      • 744
        Milliepeed Minor says:

        David C …….Our Greatest President is a much bigger fish…..your still a wet

        but not at wet as me…….so wait your turn inline

        • 745
          Milliepeed Minor says:

          Ooops cant stop here any longer just learnt my new head teacher, nasty Mr Balls is on his way back………and I’ve still not finished writing out of of my lines he set…..I must try very hard not to upset him as he does get very angry, especially when asked about the total Balls Up’s of the last 13 years…….he say’s he never made any so it must be true……& hopes now Gordon will soon be welcomed back to the front (park) bench in the near future…..

          Oh goody ………..better were all Red than another Ed….and we make a nice big daisy chain all getting a big golden rivet each….

  175. 714
    Osborne's Anal Beads says:

    • 726
      The deranged mong who always posts Topboy's had enough of Guido rimming etc etc says:

      It had been nice here the last few days without your insane rants. Looks like your occasional sudden absences are because you’ve been sectioned. And now you’re back to say tat, wuv, winkie, lickspittle and Yap! Yap! Yap! again.

      • 728
        ROFL! says:

        Dave’s little poodle is going to cwy!! Awww…….



        • 730
          The deranged mong who always posts Topboy's had enough of Guido rimming etc etc says:

          Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!

  176. 721
    You brute! says:

    Alan Johnson’s former personal security officer is to be suspended for porking his missus!

  177. 731
    The big D says:

    Nice play out at the end of This Week. The speaker walking through parliament to the song Big Bad John by Jimmy Dean.

  178. 738
    tattyboy the battyboy says:

    Alan Johnson will be PM!!!


  179. 746
    Anonymous says:

    Guido appears to have got his facts badly wrong here. If AJ decides to act on the version of this story first published Guido could be looking at a serious claim for defamation.

  180. 747
    Dr. Who says:

    As a Time lord I have come here to warn you against Voting in Labour again – I have been to the future, I know the awful future you have created by trusting Labour again.

    In that future Ed Balls deposes Red Ed and Balls ends up as an unelected P.M. he then recalls Gordon Brown as his chancellor who in turn deposes Ed Balls and once again Gordon Brown ends up as an unelected PM.

    You have been warned – never ever trust Labour again

  181. 748
    terrace bar says:

    We now know Mrs J was enjoying her pork sausage, but that does not change whether Mr J was doing similar or not.

    Guido may be right. We shall see.

    The fact she was doing it may mean they had a Shane-Warne like arrangement, who knows.

    • 750
      lolol says:

      who knows ? sources tell me that William Hague’s wife was having an affair with his SpAd! er… is this right ??? who knows!

    • 755
      It'sAlreadyTooLate says:

      Put everything in your wifes name Guido, I see court action in your future.

      • 760
        Guido McBride says:

        Or at the very least… constant ridicule.

        He obviously made this shit up thinking he would sound like he still had some inside knowledge of Westminster.
        Instead, now the truth is out, he comes across as a Coulson stooge inventing any old bullshit on the spur of the moment to try and discredit his Conservative paymasters enemies.

        In short.. he IS now Damian McBride.

    • 759
      Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? says:

      Can’t see why just THIS matter over his wife would cause resignation of him from Shadow Cabinet in the way it was done which seemed rather hurried with perfunctory reasons given…there must be more to it and rest assured the hacks will be on the case… I expect to read some sordid tales in the Sundays which may shed some further light on the reason for Johnson’s hurried departure(that and the fact he hadn’t a clue about economics of course but then again neither had Brown and he was still Chancellor for 10 years)

      • 761
        Guido's whole story is full of shit says:

        The bodyguard’s been referred for an official investigation by the police.

        You think they are doing that for a fucking laugh ?

        The wife was having an affair.
        Guido was wrong and making up any old nonsense.
        Deal with it.

      • 768
        genghiz the kahn says:

        Johnson could have done a Tessa, separated, walked out on his spouse, and kept his political career. If Red Ed wanted him to stay on, that option could have been followed.

        Can’t think of many front line politicians who have had marital difficulties resigning cos the wife was unfaithful.

        • 787
          Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? says:

          Hit the nail on the head. …..this in itself alone is not a resigning matter…take Robin Cook as an example….he ditched his wife and still carried on as Foreign Secretary and Leader of the House until he resigned OVER Iraq NOT marital infidelity…let’s face it nobody cares whether you’re faithful/unfaithfal/gay or hetero these days as long as you don’t lie about it……………it’s usually the cover-up that causes the problems not the actual events

          • William Hague says:

            This is not a resigning affair. My paranoid windowlicker friends can’t accept that Guido was wrong.

  182. 753
    rich Johnson says:

    Who looks the C@nt now?

  183. 756
    Ed Bollokov ( Son of Brown, Deficit-Admirer-in Chief ) says:

    WOOOHOOOOO !!! When can I get my hands on the Nation’s cheque book again !!!

    I’ll also abolish Boom and Bust…….again

    • 766
      Gideon Osboobery (Keeping VAt, inflation and unemployment up) says:

      BOOO HOOO HOOO!!!! Can you add up my expenses for me please ?? The sums are too hard for me.

      I’m going to abolish Bailing out the Irish bankers with £7 BILLION of British taxpayers money……again……after all the other Euro Bailouts planned this year.

  184. 762
    Seymour says:

    Ed Milli takes Johnson out and tucks in two balls

  185. 771
    Ed Bollokov ( Son of Brown, Deficit-Admirer-in Chief ) says:

    Is this a dagger which I see before me ??

  186. 772

    Guido, did you know about this alleged affair for some time?

    If you did, why didn’t you run it on your blog? You know that hacks keep an eye on what you write.

    • 776
      he must have been pissed again says:

      What alledged affair? It was the wife who had the affair not Postie.
      Guido doesn’t have a clue what he’s writing any more.
      A warning to everyone…..never dr*nk and blog.

      • 779
        Sporrans Of Arabia says:

        Why d*d you ‘*’ out the ‘i’ in drink? Th*ck sh*t!!

        • 788
          lolololol says:

          Calm down dear! You’re only an anal twat.

        • 794
          jgm2 says:

          Because he’s been up posting constantly, pleading like the pathetic Labour apologist he is, for balance, since 8PM last night and the drink has scrambled his brain.

          Although, to be fair, which I like to think I am, it had probably scrambled his brain years ago.

  187. 775
    Gerry Keegan says:

    From what the papers are reporting Guido the affair concerns his wife and his ex-protection officer. Who is the more correct?

    • 782
      This is not the beginning of the end but it is certainly the end of the beginning says:

      Nobody knows and that’s the problem….after 13 years of Labour Spin,Deceit and half truths nobody believes what they’re told by politicians of ANY party any more….their spin doctors are all as bad as each other…..particularly as years later after the events its proved that the public were misled over things…and if they can be misled over things as serious as why why this country went to war why should they belive lesser things such as this. ???..there is no trust left between politicians and their electorate…this is the legacy of Blair and Co and the master will no doubt be giving us another master-class to-day at Chilcot

      • 783
        LOL! says:

        Hmmm… The police bodyguard is now under investigation while Guido’s “story” was based on him saying the word sources a few times with fuck all proof or anything to back him up.

        Who is telling the truth ???? That IS a tough one.

    • 835
      English Liberation Front. says:

      Both are correct is the answer!

  188. 780
    Alan (the English arent worth saving) Johnson says:

    Betrayed by the very Gestapo I helped create.

    • 786
      it's all the fault of an un-named source! of course, of course, of course. says:

      No,no,no,no. Guido says you were having the affair so that must be the truth.

      His Cabinet sources are now telling Guido that Wiliam Hague’s wife was taking Hagues spad up the arse and having a gay affair with the Spad.

  189. 790
    Cornflake says:

    So glad I found this blog, Guido. We need more such political outspokenness in the “United” Kingdom. I shall bookmark this page, that’s for sure. If ever you need a box of matches to light any fuses, let me know!

  190. 799
    Gordon Brown says:

    Gizza a job Ed.

  191. 802

    Ooops-a-fucking-daisy, Guido…..

  192. 804
    Finias finds says:

    WOW loads little Eddies puppies on here running all over the place like their minds posting up the same 3 you tube clips endlessly yapping on and on what the feck is wrong with you ? isn’t 13 yr s billions lost, pensions destroyed ,endless wars [which your lot lied about so stuff who else voted because your lot LIED!!] hundreds of thousands dead because your leaders couldn’t get on their knees fast enough for Bush [but its OK now because we laugh when Russell Howard tells jokes about thick Americans!!] !
    Hope ye proud ? and I hope you get yer wish in 2011 and get run over by a riot van martyred for the cause! mark steel will love that!

  193. 805
    Andy Coulson's monkey says:

    Hey Guido

    Thanks for posting any old bollocks that I give you. Sorry that this turned out to be duff info and makes you look a prat. I wouldn’t worry about it too much though cos mist people know you are a prat anyway.

    I will be sending you more made up crap to post over the next few weeks.

  194. 806
    Marty Feldman says:

    It seems that you have to have Bug Eyes to get a job withe the Unite led Opposition

  195. 812
    The sound of silence says:

    Fawkes seems reluctant to post more on this “exclusive”. But why ?

    • 817
      Eeu to me says:

      If you want uptodate news go and read a newspaper or watch tv news,if you want to stir the shit up in real time then first of all read Guido’s strapline,of plots,rumours etc,if you think your not getting your moneys worth then ring up Consumr Direct or your local Trading Standards .

  196. 813
    City of Vice says:

    Cue the pics of Balls parading in Nazi uniform….that should make him popular with Miliband, given the latter’s efnick background.

    This is going to be fun!

  197. 816
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    So now it would appear that Mrs Johnson was “polishing a coppers helmet”

  198. 818

    This is one union i could do without !

    • 823
      Eeu to me says:

      I keep wondering when the shitehawk Brown will suddenly appear as leader of the Liebour party,he wasn’t elected as leader and he wasn’t elected as PM so what’s stopping him this time.

  199. 820
    Up sh1t creek says:

    It was all very convenient that this Alan Johnson story happened just before Blair goes to the Iraq inquiry, arguably a much bigger story. Labour spin machine in action.

    • 827
      Eeu to me says:

      No I just think the the stirrers couldn’t sink that low for an ex PM who’s only interest is wealth,houses and world power mmm my own question answered.

  200. 824
    Weygand says:

    What was worst Guido – getting it wrong or finding that Andrew Porter of the Telegraph actually cited you as the source of his story – only for it to be wrong?

    Are you going to say that did it on purpose just to stop people pinching from your site?

  201. 825
    Kasey says:

    “Alan Johnson’s suspected affair with a civil servant was widely rumoured around Westminster…… The story was kept out of the papers – until now.”

    Whatever you snivelling thunderHunt.

    Hopefully this complete Balls up on your behalf will have people leaving your sorry excuse of a site in droves now that your previously low credibility has been eviscerated through not being able to keep your mouth shut about a story that genuinely had you perplexed.

    Good day.

    • 834
      Eeu to me says:

      Reporters used to find their own stories and not sit on blogs waiting for them appear so they can cut n paste into newspapers,we’ve had 13years of goverment reports cut n pasted into newspapers,reporters are supposed to be the eyes and ears for the public to make sure public people are playing honest and fair,it also helps to sell newspapers.

  202. 826

    The top three Mps in the Shadow cabinet are Brownites. With 2 dozen Blairites gone or working for DC, can we now say the DC is the leading Blairite at Westminster?

  203. 828

    Huntstable Paul Rice
    is about to be suspended by the Met after carrying out
    his own internal investyigation

  204. 829

    This will strengthen Labour as there will be less of a need to keep both Blairite & Brownte camps happy

  205. 832
    F. Atuous says:

    Guido’s original story may well be true, with Mrs J then finding in part 2, after the EastEnder type booms, a nice warm shoulder to cry on .. I find the image of AJ as cuckold neat a bit hard to swallow, surely some other personal ingredients mixed into the brew. Meanwhile on Twitter some not altogether obscure literary and media female figures are “hearting” AJ and so on and offering “support”.

    • 838
      English Liberation Front. says:

      I believe Guido’s original story to be true – the bit about Mrs J is just a distraction. Let’s hope the whole truth will out.

  206. 839
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Fair play to the police protection officer for shafting the wife – Labour have been shafting the rest of us for thirteen years, nice to see some payback.

    Regarding the confusion over which Johnson was misbehaving, I would surmise that both are true – he was playing away, the pissed-off wife then decided to have her own fun, and her dalliance has been leaked by Labour as damage control for him.

  207. 840
    Stryker Miliband says:

    Two words: Bron Madson.

  208. 842
    Name lost due to cache clearing tragedy says:

    And THIS is why Balls and Miliband cannot be trusted.

  209. 845
    Cassandra King says:

    Shows the Westminster vermin and heir MSM hack stooges in their true colours though does it not?

    Postman Twat does a Prescott on his wife but its the wife that gets the poison pill.
    Political shit does the dirty and the likes of toenails keep it secret and as soon as it looks like the political shit is going to get grassed up by another political virus its a case of heaping the blame on the wronged wife? Niiice! and perfect for the likes of Gruppenfuhrer Balls.

  210. 846
    Weygand says:

    Another under cover police operation that has back fired.

  211. 847
    Naughty says:

    I don’t know what Mrs Johnson looks like. Is she attractive? Has Alan’s former guard got good taste in having an affair with her?

  212. 853
    NotW_Scumbag says:

    Johnson was a total thicko, so His Redness is better off without him.

    The real question here is : was the assigned plod porkin’ his missus ?

    It’s beginning to look like plods just can’t keep it in their pants.

  213. 855
    Coulson needs help says:

    coulson has gone the BBC reported it forst

  214. 856
    Handycock says:

    I don’t know why you are all criticising Alan Johnson for being uneducated and unable to grasp the intricacies of economics, I am equally uneducated and don’t understand them either. It is entirely irrelevant, Gordon Brown has a Phd and certainly didn’t understand them. No politcian understands economics, to expect them to is to misunderstand politcians. Politicians enter politics to pursue their own agendas, normally money, in my case money and sex. Their limit of economic understanding is fiddling their expenses, and some of them are not even very good at doing that. Lol.

    • 860
      Gideons CV says:

      yup, we should criticise Alan Johnson for his lack of education and real life work experience; he was clearly out of his depth.

      Thank fuck our economy is in the hands of someone with a 2:1 in Modern History who’s only job outside Conservative Central Office is a summers data entry for the NHS.

  215. 857
    Sixupman says:

    Was it my imagination but did the Mail web-site not run a piece about a top politician having obtained a “super-injunction” relative to his sexual exploits.

    It was then taken-down are the two related.

    My God, Balls looks smug, what about his missus?

  216. 861
    Robbie says:

    Balls- asking to have that fat ego deflated
    Campbell- I’ve never shouted f*ck off to anyone that often before on QT
    Galloway-outrageous but hit a lot of right notes on the night-particulalry Iraq
    Dimbelbore-time he started drawing his pension
    Johnsons- I think there is more of this story to come out
    Coulson- right decision-who can handle it now though?

  217. 863
    Jones says:

    What is a ‘totty?’ What is a ‘twat’? do you really have such low levels of literacy or do you have to accomodate your less than avarage followers?

    do your knuckles trail the ground when you walk?

  218. 864
    Jones says:

    Is this purely a site for socially malajusted and those disaffected from the human species?

    Who would read this?

  219. 865
    Jones says:

    What is Mr Fawkes’ I.Q?

    Does he consider it to be above that of his ‘readers’?

  220. 866
    Jones says:

    Can none Mr Fawkes ‘commentators express themseves witho9ut resorting to the most base language?

    does Mr Fawkes have any standards for his site? Why does he attract so many bullies?

  221. 867
    Jones says:

    Why is the part which Mr Fawkes endorses, devotes all his time to, and bases his life around, known as the nasty party?

  222. 869
    Prophet says:

    Baroness Warsi

    It’s been a busy week for you. Now you can relax with your burkha and dildo. Enjoy!

    I’m off to a dinner party now……………

Seen Elsewhere

NUT’s Loony Defence of Status Quo | Jago Pearson
A Dozen Reasons to Be Cheerful | John McTernan
Political Bloggers Are Equal Opportunities Attackers | ConHome
Michael Gove Should Resign | Conservative Women
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads