January 12th, 2011

Nick Clegg Kicked My Baby

Or did he? According to BBC North, Clegg accidentally kicked a small child in a push chair on a walkabout in Oldham yesterday. He then tried to blame a less than impressed Michael Crick who was doing his usual two-paces-behind-asking-awkward-questions trick.

However, as PoliticsHome picked up, the father of the alleged victim has rushed to tweet Nick’s innocence, denying it happened. Guido isn’t so sure though, especially when you look at the footage from fourteen minutes here. Of all things that could go wrong on the stump, injuring small children is very high up the list.

There’s definitely some sort of contact.


  1. 1
    Nick Clegg says:

    I made a solemn pledge not to kick children.

  2. 2
    Number 10's Cat says:

    I said kiss the baby Nick

  3. 3
    Nick Clegg's Right Foot says:

    But only if we come into power…

  4. 4
    AngryEnglishJon says:

    Gordo McIdiot ate the little darlings.

  5. 5

    That’s the funniest thing i’ve read this morning. Sticking with a football (baby) theme.


  6. 6
    dazzatrada says:

    I blame Nick.

  7. 7
    Nick Clegg's Right Foot says:

    HAVE IT!

  8. 8
    Nick Clegg says:

    An end to broken bones, I mean promises.

  9. 9

    We’re all being hit together.

  10. 10
  11. 11
    EXCLUSIVE! CCTV footage of Nick Clegg and the shocking inicident says:

  12. 12
    voter says:

    today’s guardian has this headline:

    “Labour turns up heat on government over City bonuses”

    labour couldn’t turn the heat up on the oven!

  13. 13
    Sir Magnus Greene says:

    As Chief Inquisitor of the Optimum Population Trust I can only support anything the reduces the next cohort of carbon emitters. Only by recycling yong children for zero-carbon energy production can the Planet be saved.

  14. 14
    Nick Clegg's Right Foot says:

    Imagine if Cable had kicked it… it would have gone nuclear!

  15. 15
    Gordon Brownism says:

    “That was a disaster – they should never have put me with that child. Whose idea was that? Ridiculous.”

  16. 16
    Handy hints for every occasion says:

    Someone wake Guido up and point him in the direction of Dr vince mckee

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:


  18. 18
    Excuses for every occasion says:

    It was Sues fault !

  19. 19
    Gordon Brown says:

    I never hit anyone.

  20. 20
    Gonk says:

    Convene the Security Council, quick

  21. 21

    Of all things that could go wrong on the stump, injuring small children is very high up the list.

    But not as high as kicking a small child and then trying to deny it by blaming someone else.

    FFS! This is what happens when risk averse pansies get elected to office.

    We all make mistakes and the child clearly hasn’t been maimed. What harm would it have done Clegg to apologise profusely and make some sort of lighthearted comment. A lot less, I would imagine, than his pathetic attempts at “damage control”.

  22. 22
    Lib Dem Suspended For 'Defrauding' Students says:

    Dr Vincent McKee has been implicated in defrauding students out of thousands of pounds in tuition fees.

    The 52-year-old offers private tuition through the Institute of Colleges and University Teachers (Icut), in Coventry. But students and parents who hand over bank details to the company have discovered large sums missing from their accounts.

  23. 23
    Edward Woollard says:

    My botty hurts.

  24. 24
    Nick Clegg says:

    I changed my mind about baby kicking after recalculating the size of the deficit.

  25. 25
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Simon Hughes has been asked to manage the baby’s ‘perception’ of the kick.

  26. 26
    Nick agrees with Vincent says:

  27. 27
    Ampers says:

    “Not to kick children?” Then you’ll never get my vote!

  28. 28
    sussex sire says:

    the real question is whether he converted with his kick… Fucken vermin anyway, ought to be a law allowing the wee fuckers to be shot.

  29. 29
    Nick The Kick says:

    If they bring a knife to the fight, we”ll kick the shit out of them.

  30. 30
    Calamity Clegg says:

    I think blaming a TV reporter with a camera asking him questions is a fine example of the public relations genius we’ve come to expect from Nick.

    He’ll get his Party’s rating down to 5% if it it kills him.

  31. 31

    Up norff kickin’th kid’s makes them pay attention
    and makes sure they never refuse to go up chimney !

  32. 32
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin says:

    Who put that baby there ?? Was it Sue ??

  33. 33
    Calamity Clegg says:

    This is what Clegg means when he talks about Alarm Clock Britain.
    He’ll wake you by kicking one of your children.

  34. 34

    Nick Clegg said He didn’t
    Michael Crick said He did
    Simon Hughes Abstained

  35. 35

    Like Fuck it is! LOL!!

  36. 36
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    FFS Nick! Now you are in a Tory led coalition you’re supposed to eat babies.

  37. 37
    smoggie says:

    But that would having to pick the filthy brat up and kiss it.

  38. 38
    FlipC says:

    ‘The officers who were protecting the child showed very real restraint. Some of those officers were armed.’

  39. 39
    Diane Abbott's rectum says:

    urrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh, oooorgggggggggggg, ththththtppppppppp, Crick’a lefty cu’nt, arrrghhhhhhhhhhh, uuuurrrghhhhhhhhhhhh, ploooooooooooooooooooopppppppp

  40. 40
    Poetic licence says:

    It wasn’t Clegg’s leg.
    It was Crick’s kick.

  41. 41
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Morning, Hippo crit.

  42. 42
    I'll have some of that says:

    OT – Guido you really should have this piece in Seen Elsewhere. I have never agreed with Jenkins or the Guardian before…..!!


  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Plod should be let nowhere near any firearms FFS., they can’t be trusted.

  44. 44
    Jon Cravens says:

    Imagine that fat lump on the bog, oh my god, the horror

  45. 45
    mick says:

    dey do doh dont dey?

  46. 46
    Newsnight says:

    It’s Christmas again.

  47. 47
    Backwoodsman says:

    plod would arrest the parents for pushing the pram without due care & attention & failing to fill in a risk assessment form for the journey.
    Acpo = nulab with flashing lights & a Taser !

  48. 48
    blackbyle says:

    Cleggy has been practising his kicks on the supine Cameron so now its the turn me future voters in buggies – next come pensioners in wheelchairs? Could have come out me “The Goodies” !

  49. 49
    Exiled in Wales says:

    Barrel. Scrape.

  50. 50
    Anonymus says:

    I think we should kick the git who invented the “english baccalaureate”

    Don’t get me wrong I like croissants as much as anyone does. But WTF.

  51. 51
    The Liebour party says:

    Ouch !!

  52. 52
    annnnonyperson says:

    As ever, Mr Crick’s name contains a typo at the start of it.

  53. 53
    Gordon's Greatest Hits says:

    The kid was obviously a “Bigot”

  54. 54
    The Dingo says:

    Whew! One they can’t pin on me!

  55. 55
    Urban Fox says:

    Hah! Me neither!

  56. 56
    Nick Clegg says:

    The child in question was engaged in a provocative protest against scrapping child benefit. He attacked my left foot with a vicious headbutt and it was only after swift action from my 20 burly minders that he was prevented from causing further injury to my campaign..sorry, er.. innocent bystanders.

  57. 57

    No matter how innocent they may be we must always pay for our mistakes in some way.

    But Nick wouldn’t have done that either. if he had he’d have opened himself up to allegations of “inappropriate physical contact with a child while not in possession of a CRB clearance certificate” on top of the physical assault of a child charges for which he’s already in the frame.

  58. 58
    Anonymus says:

    Its ok The child is an undercover agent employed by the National Public Order Intelligence Unit.

  59. 59
    Nick Clegg says:

    I was going to kick the child and the father but we have to make compromises in a coalition, so after negotiating with David I agreed only to Kick the child.

  60. 60

    Ah Gentle Nick. Still worked on the principle that a chap should never use his fists until his feet are bleeding, I see.

  61. 61
    anyone says:

    That’s true, you only hit women.

  62. 62

    What? You mean he’s actually a Crook?

  63. 63
    Nick the Kick Clegg says:

    It was a tough love. In four years time that child will appreciate my need to kick him and reward the Liberal Democrats at the ballot box for making the unpopular but necessary decisions.

  64. 64

    Are there still people so thick they hand over their banking details to any schyster who asks for it? If there are, they deserve to be ripped off.

  65. 65
    Hellboy says:

    It’s part of his A Lame Cock campaign launched yesterday.

  66. 66
  67. 67
    The clue is in the word 'Defrauding' says:

    One person contacted by Sky News, who asked to remain anonymous, booked eight hours lessons for her daughter at a cost of £35 per hour. With the registration fee, the bill should have come to £380.

    But the mother then discovered £3,260 had been taken from her account.

  68. 68
    ComRes show 8 point Labour lead says:

    CON 34%(-2), LAB 42%(+2), LDEM 12% (nc).

  69. 69
    Mr Plum says:

    Dad, whats a matter with you.
    Child, I’ve just met Camerons side kick

  70. 70
    Sres says:

    ffs, something out of nothing…

  71. 71
    Guardianista says:

    The Arizona shooting was Nick Clegg’s fault.

  72. 72
    Citizen KY says:

    I take it wasnt maths tuition

  73. 73
    Ed Miliband says:

    I wonder if I can work that up into a policy

  74. 74
    Nick Clegg says:

    Buggy. Kick.

  75. 75
    Nick Clegg says:

    When I said I was trying to kick the habit it wasn’t smoking I was talking about.

  76. 76
    Up sh1t creek says:

    I just checked the footage from last nights Newsnight, the incident is there, but it’s about 1/2 second blink and miss it event. You just see Clegg say sorry to the guy with the push chair. The ramblings of Crick was obviously more important to the Newsnight editors.

  77. 77
    David Cameron says:

    I have agreed to let Nick and his fellow ministers kick children for this one campaign as his commitment child kicking was in the coalition agreement document.

    However, in other campaigns he will have to abide by collective cabinet decisions on child kicking and kick the way the government whips tell him.

  78. 78
    Lib Dumbs says:

    200,000 UK expats live in Brisbane and the surrounding suburbs. Brace yourself for another flood of Johnny Expat foreigners deluge back to UK. Keep em out !!!!

  79. 79
    An Estate Agent says:

    Brace yourself for some bargain properties once the water subsides

  80. 80
    LJ says:

    Watch the video again – the BBC cameraman is walking backwards and almost walks into the pushchair, Clegg says ‘are you alright’ not ‘sorry’.

  81. 81
    PMQs verdict says:

    Ed was quite shit.

  82. 82
    Dick Pegg says:

    I agree with Nick.

  83. 83
    Lib Dums says:

    It wasn’t in fraud either.

  84. 84
    Taxfodder says:

    Let alone run a bath even less a country…

  85. 85
    agreed says:

    Literally the worst speaker in Liebore. Even Prescott’s better.

  86. 86
    Lib Dums says:

    We suspended him for a laugh.

  87. 87
    where's billly? says:

    where’s billy, i’m getting worried?

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Re the kick, NC was probably trying to endear himself with core local voters…

  89. 89
    News highlights says:

    and the public doesn’t care about the bankers so it’s a win win for dave

  90. 90
    Kick Clegg says:

    I can smell victory already.

  91. 91
    SS-Obersturmbannführer K A Eichmann says:

    The oven is where Labour and its supporters belong.

  92. 92
    "Thatcher out!" says:

    Unbelievable. Twenty one years after she left office, a Labour MP still mentioned Thatcher during PMQs. They do know she’s not in power anymore, right? It’s bizarre how they’re still petrified by her.

  93. 93
    Taxfodder says:

    Nick Clegg should resign over the Australian Flood Disaster!

  94. 94
    The British Public says:

    Solution: rope + neck.

  95. 95
    The Guardian says:

    Nick Clegg gave Michael Jackson the propofol.

  96. 96
    Nick Clegg says:

    It was not a disaster, it was much needed cuts to dry conditions that was the fault of the last Australian weather season.

  97. 97
    A nasty thought says:

    I imagine the man from Dyno-Rod has his own front door key to her flat.

    “Morning, Miss Abbot, it’s your 8 o’clock unblock. Upstairs one again, is it? Put the kettle on, love, this will probably take a while.”

  98. 98
    Vince Cable says:

    I stand fully behind Nick at this difficult time, because if I stood in front of him he might kick me.

  99. 99
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    what was PMQS like ????

  100. 100
    genghiz the kahn says:


  101. 101
    Truthosaurus says:

    Who cares about someone punting a child by accident. Leave this news to the taboids..

  102. 102
    Dick Pegg says:

    I don’t.

  103. 103
    Zzzz says:

    flat and shit

  104. 104



  105. 105
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Harold Wilson punched John Simpson in the stomach, perhaps Crick was rather fortunate.

  106. 106
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Nothing new then ……

  107. 107
  108. 108
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Have they kicked Eric out of the house yet ?

  109. 109
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Does that mean in 20 years we can still blame Brown ???

  110. 110
    silver bullet says:

    Just shows that it’s about time we had a cull of the general population, they’re regressing back to neanderthal levels of intelligence. A nuclear fireball over vast swaythes of the north and Jockinese land would do very nicely.

  111. 111
    Nick comes out swinging says:

    perhaps the child was just as fortunate

  112. 112
    annnnonyperson says:

    All those, and more.

  113. 113
    Porky Pickles says:

    He’s too fat to kick. You just rebound.

  114. 114
    Wavy Davy says:

    I agree with Nick.

  115. 115
    freddie flintoff says:

    Billy Bowden is a 4 X x = 8 mоssad plant, and should be shot up the arse with a shotgun!

  116. 116
    bmp2 says:

    I agree with Nick Griffin.

  117. 117
    Lib Dumbs says:

    Where’s Warsi and Gove the Gimp.

    Not a lot of Tory faces around these days, all in hiding – bounus day is only around the corner after all.

  118. 118
    Cam-pain in the arse Clegg says:

    Calm down Nick. There’s always the next by-election.

  119. 119
    John Major's Face Full of Curry says:

    Oh Yes!

  120. 120

    These days you have to get your kick in first, especially in Oldham.

  121. 121

    Gis a new thread Guido………

  122. 122
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Like I said, the clip that Guido has found is MUCH longer than the one on Newsnight, so you can retract your comment because I was right and you weren’t.

  123. 123
    Chancellor Browns prudent legacy says:

    We’ll certainly still be paying for him.

  124. 124
    BBC Cokehead says:

    No I heard it was Sarah Palin

  125. 125
    Lib Dumbs says:

    Enjoyed The Gimp getting battered on 5 Live today


  126. 126

    Or a big Tot

  127. 127
    Baby Gwendolen says:

    That nasty Clegg kick me in the face.

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:


  129. 129
    Big Daddy says:

    Harriet Harman cannot even run an All Woman shortlist!

  130. 130
    Big Daddy says:

    Hilarious Ben Elton is making a come back then?

  131. 131
    sandown says:

    1) Coalition Politician, surrounded by a crowd, kicks child by accident.

    2) Coalition-hating BBC-leftist presenter tries to make a political issue out of the incident.

    3) So what else is news ?

  132. 132
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Should be kicking arses…NOT babies!!

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    Thatcher (PBUH) 1979 – 1999 UK in best economic position since WW2
    Brown 2030 – the origin of the ‘Big Brother’ face on UK €1 coins after we went bankrupt & were bought up by the EU’s trading arm.

  134. 134
    Anonymous says:

    His books don’t seem to be selling well these days…

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    Back then a PM did his own dirty work.

    Besides, after a BR train journey back then, it was either Simpson or the Guard…

  136. 136
    michael w says:

    why wait until child reaches 18 to givehim a kicking over uni fees?

  137. 137
    jabbathecat says:

    Wish someone would give Crick the Prick a good kicking…

  138. 138
    George says:

    Nick Clegg has kicked the whole nation hasnt he?

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