January 12th, 2011

Nick Clegg Kicked My Baby

Or did he? According to BBC North, Clegg accidentally kicked a small child in a push chair on a walkabout in Oldham yesterday. He then tried to blame a less than impressed Michael Crick who was doing his usual two-paces-behind-asking-awkward-questions trick.

However, as PoliticsHome picked up, the father of the alleged victim has rushed to tweet Nick’s innocence, denying it happened. Guido isn’t so sure though, especially when you look at the footage from fourteen minutes here. Of all things that could go wrong on the stump, injuring small children is very high up the list.

There’s definitely some sort of contact.


  1. 1
    Nick Clegg says:

    I made a solemn pledge not to kick children.

  2. 2
    Number 10's Cat says:

    I said kiss the baby Nick

  3. 4
    AngryEnglishJon says:

    Gordo McIdiot ate the little darlings.

  4. 5

    That’s the funniest thing i’ve read this morning. Sticking with a football (baby) theme.


  5. 6
    dazzatrada says:

    I blame Nick.

  6. 7
    Nick Clegg's Right Foot says:

    HAVE IT!

  7. 11
    EXCLUSIVE! CCTV footage of Nick Clegg and the shocking inicident says:

  8. 11
    voter says:

    today’s guardian has this headline:

    “Labour turns up heat on government over City bonuses”

    labour couldn’t turn the heat up on the oven!

  9. 13
    Sir Magnus Greene says:

    As Chief Inquisitor of the Optimum Population Trust I can only support anything the reduces the next cohort of carbon emitters. Only by recycling yong children for zero-carbon energy production can the Planet be saved.

  10. 15
    Gordon Brownism says:

    “That was a disaster – they should never have put me with that child. Whose idea was that? Ridiculous.”

  11. 16
    Handy hints for every occasion says:

    Someone wake Guido up and point him in the direction of Dr vince mckee

    • 22
      Lib Dem Suspended For 'Defrauding' Students says:

      Dr Vincent McKee has been implicated in defrauding students out of thousands of pounds in tuition fees.

      The 52-year-old offers private tuition through the Institute of Colleges and University Teachers (Icut), in Coventry. But students and parents who hand over bank details to the company have discovered large sums missing from their accounts.

  12. 19
    Gordon Brown says:

    I never hit anyone.

  13. 20
    Gonk says:

    Convene the Security Council, quick

  14. 21

    Of all things that could go wrong on the stump, injuring small children is very high up the list.

    But not as high as kicking a small child and then trying to deny it by blaming someone else.

    FFS! This is what happens when risk averse pansies get elected to office.

    We all make mistakes and the child clearly hasn’t been maimed. What harm would it have done Clegg to apologise profusely and make some sort of lighthearted comment. A lot less, I would imagine, than his pathetic attempts at “damage control”.

    • 30
      Calamity Clegg says:

      I think blaming a TV reporter with a camera asking him questions is a fine example of the public relations genius we’ve come to expect from Nick.

      He’ll get his Party’s rating down to 5% if it it kills him.

    • 37
      smoggie says:

      But that would having to pick the filthy brat up and kiss it.

      • 57

        No matter how innocent they may be we must always pay for our mistakes in some way.

        But Nick wouldn’t have done that either. if he had he’d have opened himself up to allegations of “inappropriate physical contact with a child while not in possession of a CRB clearance certificate” on top of the physical assault of a child charges for which he’s already in the frame.

  15. 23
    Edward Woollard says:

    My botty hurts.

  16. 25
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Simon Hughes has been asked to manage the baby’s ‘perception’ of the kick.

  17. 28
    sussex sire says:

    the real question is whether he converted with his kick… Fucken vermin anyway, ought to be a law allowing the wee fuckers to be shot.

  18. 29
    Nick The Kick says:

    If they bring a knife to the fight, we”ll kick the shit out of them.

  19. 31

    Up norff kickin’th kid’s makes them pay attention
    and makes sure they never refuse to go up chimney !

  20. 32
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin says:

    Who put that baby there ?? Was it Sue ??

  21. 33
    Calamity Clegg says:

    This is what Clegg means when he talks about Alarm Clock Britain.
    He’ll wake you by kicking one of your children.

  22. 34

    Nick Clegg said He didn’t
    Michael Crick said He did
    Simon Hughes Abstained

  23. 36
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    FFS Nick! Now you are in a Tory led coalition you’re supposed to eat babies.

  24. 38
    FlipC says:

    ‘The officers who were protecting the child showed very real restraint. Some of those officers were armed.’

    • 43
      Anonymous says:

      Plod should be let nowhere near any firearms FFS., they can’t be trusted.

      • 47
        Backwoodsman says:

        plod would arrest the parents for pushing the pram without due care & attention & failing to fill in a risk assessment form for the journey.
        Acpo = nulab with flashing lights & a Taser !

  25. 39
    Diane Abbott's rectum says:

    urrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh, oooorgggggggggggg, ththththtppppppppp, Crick’a lefty cu’nt, arrrghhhhhhhhhhh, uuuurrrghhhhhhhhhhhh, ploooooooooooooooooooopppppppp

    • 41
      Joss Ayinglike says:

      Morning, Hippo crit.

      • 44
        Jon Cravens says:

        Imagine that fat lump on the bog, oh my god, the horror

        • 97
          A nasty thought says:

          I imagine the man from Dyno-Rod has his own front door key to her flat.

          “Morning, Miss Abbot, it’s your 8 o’clock unblock. Upstairs one again, is it? Put the kettle on, love, this will probably take a while.”

  26. 40
    Poetic licence says:

    It wasn’t Clegg’s leg.
    It was Crick’s kick.

  27. 46
    Newsnight says:

    It’s Christmas again.

  28. 48
    blackbyle says:

    Cleggy has been practising his kicks on the supine Cameron so now its the turn me future voters in buggies – next come pensioners in wheelchairs? Could have come out me “The Goodies” !

  29. 49
    Exiled in Wales says:

    Barrel. Scrape.

  30. 50
    Anonymus says:

    I think we should kick the git who invented the “english baccalaureate”

    Don’t get me wrong I like croissants as much as anyone does. But WTF.

  31. 52
    annnnonyperson says:

    As ever, Mr Crick’s name contains a typo at the start of it.

  32. 54
    The Dingo says:

    Whew! One they can’t pin on me!

  33. 56
    Nick Clegg says:

    The child in question was engaged in a provocative protest against scrapping child benefit. He attacked my left foot with a vicious headbutt and it was only after swift action from my 20 burly minders that he was prevented from causing further injury to my campaign..sorry, er.. innocent bystanders.

    • 58
      Anonymus says:

      Its ok The child is an undercover agent employed by the National Public Order Intelligence Unit.

  34. 60

    Ah Gentle Nick. Still worked on the principle that a chap should never use his fists until his feet are bleeding, I see.

  35. 63
    Nick the Kick Clegg says:

    It was a tough love. In four years time that child will appreciate my need to kick him and reward the Liberal Democrats at the ballot box for making the unpopular but necessary decisions.

  36. 65
    Hellboy says:

    It’s part of his A Lame Cock campaign launched yesterday.

  37. 69
    Mr Plum says:

    Dad, whats a matter with you.
    Child, I’ve just met Camerons side kick

  38. 70
    Sres says:

    ffs, something out of nothing…

  39. 71
    Guardianista says:

    The Arizona shooting was Nick Clegg’s fault.

  40. 75
    Nick Clegg says:

    When I said I was trying to kick the habit it wasn’t smoking I was talking about.

  41. 77
    David Cameron says:

    I have agreed to let Nick and his fellow ministers kick children for this one campaign as his commitment child kicking was in the coalition agreement document.

    However, in other campaigns he will have to abide by collective cabinet decisions on child kicking and kick the way the government whips tell him.

    • 104



  42. 78
    Lib Dumbs says:

    200,000 UK expats live in Brisbane and the surrounding suburbs. Brace yourself for another flood of Johnny Expat foreigners deluge back to UK. Keep em out !!!!

  43. 81
    PMQs verdict says:

    Ed was quite shit.

  44. 87
    where's billly? says:

    where’s billy, i’m getting worried?

    • 117
      Lib Dumbs says:

      Where’s Warsi and Gove the Gimp.

      Not a lot of Tory faces around these days, all in hiding – bounus day is only around the corner after all.

  45. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Re the kick, NC was probably trying to endear himself with core local voters…

  46. 92
    "Thatcher out!" says:

    Unbelievable. Twenty one years after she left office, a Labour MP still mentioned Thatcher during PMQs. They do know she’s not in power anymore, right? It’s bizarre how they’re still petrified by her.

  47. 93
    Taxfodder says:

    Nick Clegg should resign over the Australian Flood Disaster!

    • 96
      Nick Clegg says:

      It was not a disaster, it was much needed cuts to dry conditions that was the fault of the last Australian weather season.

  48. 95
    The Guardian says:

    Nick Clegg gave Michael Jackson the propofol.

  49. 98
    Vince Cable says:

    I stand fully behind Nick at this difficult time, because if I stood in front of him he might kick me.

  50. 99
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    what was PMQS like ????

  51. 101
    Truthosaurus says:

    Who cares about someone punting a child by accident. Leave this news to the taboids..

  52. 105
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Harold Wilson punched John Simpson in the stomach, perhaps Crick was rather fortunate.

  53. 108
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Have they kicked Eric out of the house yet ?

  54. 120

    These days you have to get your kick in first, especially in Oldham.

  55. 121

    Gis a new thread Guido………

  56. 125
    Lib Dumbs says:

    Enjoyed The Gimp getting battered on 5 Live today


  57. 127
    Baby Gwendolen says:

    That nasty Clegg kick me in the face.

  58. 128
    Anonymous says:


  59. 131
    sandown says:

    1) Coalition Politician, surrounded by a crowd, kicks child by accident.

    2) Coalition-hating BBC-leftist presenter tries to make a political issue out of the incident.

    3) So what else is news ?

  60. 132
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Should be kicking arses…NOT babies!!

  61. 136
    michael w says:

    why wait until child reaches 18 to givehim a kicking over uni fees?

  62. 138
    George says:

    Nick Clegg has kicked the whole nation hasnt he?

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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