December 8th, 2010

William, It Was Really Nothing

The only sitting MP to have been found guilty of breaking the Representation of the Peoples Act, Labour’s Kerry McCarthy, thought she was being funny when she highlighted that Morrissey and his old band mate Johnny Marr want to “ban” Dave from listening to The Smiths. A blatant test to see if he was a fan and the PM managed to reply with two song names. Obviously he went with“This Charming Man”, being the song that people who have never even heard of The Smiths have heard, however Guido wonders whether Dave really should have chosen, in reference to Hague, “William, It Was Really Nothing”. Was it the only other song he could think of?

Any Smiths fan could tell you the song  is about trying to persuade a friend not to waste his life by getting married to someone for all the wrong reasons. Awkward…


  1. 1
    Miliband Should Resign says:

    Most people grew out of The Smiths in the early 1980s.

    • 9
      A ghost says:

      I did when i commited suicide.

    • 10
      misterned says:

      I remember when Cameron was touring the country in the tory leadership election 5 years ago. A reporter from North West tonight spent a week with Cameron on the tour during this time. He managed to grap quick interviews with Cameron in-between appearances and meetings and during one, he asked Cameron what his favourite band was and without missing a beat Cameron said the Smiths and they both started reciting lyrics of several Smiths songs to each other.

      If Dave is not genuinely a fan of the Smiths, then he did a very good impression of one.

    • 14
      Black Smith says:

      Most people never grew into them in the first place.

      • 131
        Engineer says:

        Hear, hear.

      • 149

        I did, i loved The Smiths when i was a spotty teenager in the 80′s, still got all their albums on vinyl. Between the ages of 12 and 16, i wasn’t at all political so i didn’t really care what the lyrics meant.
        Morrissey is a sublime song writer, it’s just a shame when he opens his mouth to voice an opinion.

    • 24
      twunt watch says:

      Who the fuck is Morrisey?

      • 54
        Tessa Tickles says:

        A socialist multi-millionaire, like Billy Bragg and Paul Weller.

      • 55
        Fatty Edwards says:

        I prefer Walkers

      • 65
        AC1 says:

        A good stage performer who turns into a whining mong between tunes.

      • 66
        South of the M4 says:

        A sanctimonious twat revered by those of non-independent thought. File him next to Billy Bragg. And then forget about him.

      • 139
        Sophie says:

        Irish blood, English heart, this I’m made of
        There is no-one on earth I’m afraid of
        And no regime can buy or sell me

        I’ve been dreaming of a time when
        To be English is not to be baneful
        To be standing by the flag not feeling
        Shameful, racist or partial

        Irish blood, English heart, this I’m made of
        There is no-one on earth I’m afraid of
        And I will die with both my hands untied

        I’ve been dreaming of a time when
        The English are sick to death of Labour
        And Tories, and spit upon the name of Oliver Cromwell
        And denounce this royal line that still salute him
        And will salute him forever

        Thats who he is. Fair play to him.

    • 97
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Hmmm…. before they released their first album?

  2. 2
    Red Ed should be dead says:

    Ed was pathetic today. Resorting to a joke about the Bullingdon Club shows how desperate he’s got. Clueless twat. It may have pleased the Labour MPs but it won’t save his floundering leadership.

    • 29
      Anonymous says:

      Like Dave said an opportunistic student politician,well anyway that’s what he looked like.

    • 82
      Nick2 says:

      Cameron has to tread a fine line between humiliating him and obliterating him – the first will help to assert ConDem (hopefully the Conservative element) supremacy, the latter will probably motivate Ed’s army to try to replace him earlier.

      • 94
        lololol says:

        yes it was DELIBERATE
        Dave is always DELIBERATELY shite
        like in the election campaign

      • 112
        Anonymous says:

        I doubt very much Cameron gives a fig about who leads that bunch of discredited useless tosspots.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:


    As for Kerry McCarthy – she should bugger off to Somalia, sorry, Bristol East and stay there.

    And another thing: Dave’s spot on for not listening to The Smiths, although he could’ve used Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now.

  4. 4
    tory boys never grow up says:

    Shouldn’t you lot be out shovelling snow?

    And before you ask I did my road last Friday.

  5. 5
    Evie Lennon says:

    Guido, please stop banging on about Hauge. You are being so daft and we’re fed up of this pettiness. Thank you!

  6. 6
    Chronos says:

    I am sure Ffion had plenty of alternative choices in her life. I would have joined the queue for a start!

  7. 7
    Red Ed should be dead says:

    Cameron handled Dromey’s moronic question brilliantly. Even Jack Harman had to smile at the all women’s shortlist joke.

    • 19
      I, literally, died laughing says:

      The cross-dressing reference was the highlight of the whole charade IMO.

    • 129
      Laugh @ Liebour says:

      Interesting that Al-Beeba conceded that the exchange….. “That raises a few laughs.”
      Bit underwhelming as usual as the entire Gov Benches erupted and I should imagine the majority of listeners/viewers!!!


  8. 8
    DikiLeaks says:

    Johnny Marr thought Morrisey was a cun’t. That’s good enough for me.

    • 18
      Anonymous says:

      Didn’t he used to take copious amounts of skag.

      • 31
        Anonymous says:

        Isn’t Morrissey the one who’s always telling the Asians to “go home”?

        • 57
          Anonymous says:

          No, that’s Hart’s Estate Agents

        • 59
          Tessa Tickles says:

          That’s the one. “England for the English”, was one of his songs.

        • 68
          ST says:

          Lol. More or less.

          Actually, it’s one of the few on which I agree with Morrisey. Multiculturalism was foisted on the white working class without their being asked. As a result it destroyed a distinctive culture.

          This is why whenever I hear lefty middle class types banging on in favour of immigration it grates. Until very recently it didn’t have any impact on their lives other than making sure they could afford a child minder. More recently, since Labour let the immigration genie out of the bottle, it’s started impacting on the public services the lefty middle class use and as a result it’s now a “valid election issue”.

          • ST says:

            Although there is something slightly unpleasant about Morrisey’s take on it, you get the feeling he isn’t just worried about social cohesion.

            I find this quote from a Times interview particularly amusing:

            “The pop star, originally from Manchester, suggested that immigration was one of the reasons he would not move from his American home back to Britain. ”

            So he laments the loss of British culture but chooses to live in another country where there is not British culture? Yeah, that makes sense.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            He hates immigrants so much, he became one?

          • ST says:


            But then we all know lefties are in to self loathing.

          • Daz Calgon says:

            In other words, he lives in a wealthy, white gated community.

          • My other van's a comma says:

            Let me:

            In other words, he lives in a wealthy, white, gated community.

          • T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

            Lives in a white gated community….

            Some of us socialists own TEN houses.

  9. 11
    No Cricket Scores ( Not a Sport blog) says:

    Oh dear , Or maybe it was just a fuck yp ???

  10. 15
  11. 16
    streamfisher says:

    Could have been worse (better): English Blood, Irish Heart.

  12. 25
    No Cricket Scores ( Not a Sport blog) says:

    Just had a thought , What happens when Dave has a reshuffle ? There aint to many lib dems that are good enough for goverment posts .

    • 34
      Anonymous says:

      There aint to many Tories.

    • 35
      streamfisher says:

      You gotta know when to hold em and when to fold them.

    • 37
      Tessa Tickles says:

      There aren’t any Libdems good enough for government posts!

      But that’s OK, because there are no Conservative or Labour MPs good enough, either.

      • 61
        Albert Pierpoint says:

        Say what you like, I still prefered a decent rope and drop to a post and firing squad. So much less labour intensive.

        • 83
          Tessa Tickles says:

          You’ve got me wondering what the least labour-intensive form of execution would be for all our MPs. I’ve come up with: chaining them to a wall and leaving them to die.

          • It worked for Mugabe says:

            Lock them all up in a big cell with two sledgehammers.The winner is the one alive at the end. Then we kill him/her.

        • 151
          Timmy Guillotin says:

          My method is foolproof but a little messy.

    • 103
      ST says:

      Perhaps there is something to be said for not having any.

      After all health, education, and welfare are undergoing massive changes I would imagine the ministers would be best left in place.

  13. 32
    Smithy says:

    When should Ed resign? How soon is now?

  14. 38
    Monty P says:

    Get over it, Guido. It looks pathetic to keep banging on about Hague’s alleged homosexuality (which appears to be utter bollocks), and also makes you seem like you’re trying to justify yourself.

  15. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Assange: Guido Speaks Out.

    Coming soon…..

  16. 45
    someone with a life says:

    “Obviously he went with“This Charming Man”, being the song that people who have never even heard of The Smiths have heard,”

    Nope, give us a clue.

  17. 48
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    I gave Cameron a sound thrashing in PMQ today.

    Furthermore, all those who think Cameron is laying off me because I am so dreadful and he doesn’t want Liebour to get rid of me had better watch out.

    The dire man is here to stay and he’s turning up the bollocks !

  18. 50
    Smithy says:

    Good times for a change. Sigh!

  19. 52
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today i will be a table lamp .

  20. 58
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I will be a long jump sand pit

  21. 64
    Vaguely Gay says:

    My tug boat is pulling into FFions harbour

  22. 74
    Chaytor, Morley & Co says:

    Strangeways Here We Come!

  23. 76
    Gordon says:

    Anyone up for an Arctic Monkey?.

  24. 79
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    I bumped into William at a party once …..

  25. 88
    It's raining men says:

  26. 114
    Sky News says:

    Love the last thread.

    Dead Ed.

    Errrrrr… I think poor old Dave and Nick took a bit of a pasting

  27. 116
    Ho Hum says:

    Get Moz track

    “Margaret on the Guilotine”

  28. 117
    Smithy says:

    Morrisey hates McCarthy, she eats too many bacon rolls.

  29. 122
    Ephemeral music, pah! says:

    I don’t know the name of anything by the Smiths, nor have I knowingly heard anything by them. Or heard OF anything by them.

  30. 123
    Gordon says:

    Got the xmas job working in the grotto at the Kelty shopping center performing as my alter ego: Santa Claus, all the kids will get the same present from my copious sack, a copy of Beyond the Crash.

  31. 126
    Ho Hum says:

    There are just so many tracks you could use to describe this shower of low life’s

    Miserable Lie
    Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me
    I started something I couldnt finish
    Heaven knows Im miserable now ( re titled Heaven knows my well being index is below national average )

    That joke isn’t funny anymore ( Billy Vague the tory clown )

    Stop me if you think you heard this one before ( Gideon – “didn’t fix the roof while sun shining”, “In this together” etc etc)

  32. 133
    The Miserable Tuesdays says:

    Everday is like Sunday

  33. 134
    Paddy Pants-Down. says:

    Politics today appears all very grubby,it wasn’t always that way.

  34. 140
    Smithy says:

    There is a light that never goes out. Unless you time travel back to ’70s when strikes and power cuts were rife under Labour!

  35. 141
    Ho Hum says:

    I’d advise Cock Head to stop talking about The Smiths… Total mine field

    Strangeways, Here We ( DON’T ) Come

    Shop lifters of the world unite ( don’t worry community sentence only )

    • 152
      Engineer says:

      Nothing wrong with Smiths. They stock an excellent range of stationery, newspapers and magazines.

      • 160
        Tessa Tickles says:

        They’re a bit expensive. I got a 2011 diary for much less money at an independent stationers.

    • 155
      Tessa Tickles says:

      How about..

      I know it’s over
      Suffer little children
      What Difference Does it Make?

  36. 146
    BBC Bias says:

    For weeks now Red Ed has been shit at PMQs but you would not have known this from BBC news . This week he comes up with a Bullingdon Joke and of course the BBC make PMQs their number 1 headline.

    Having said that Nick Robinson’s Blog is quite good at taking the Piss out of all three parties as every one of them has done a complete U turn on Tuition fees. The difference between being in power and opposition.

  37. 150
    Smithy says:

    Meat is murder!

  38. 159
    Gordon Brown says:

    This week my book has sold 49,000 copies which has lifted 200,000 out of poverty and increased health spending by 45%.

    • 180
      streamfisher says:

      FOI request, where has the money come from to pay for the printing bill? (as if we didn’t know) more pulped fiction.

  39. 164
    Ayesha Hazarika says:

    Did you like my jokes I wrote for Ed? Aren’t I witty?

  40. 167
    the last quango in paris says:

    Kerry should resign – she looks and acts like a sack of spuds and wastes valuable pmq time asking pathetic questions – the pm should not have to speak to trash like that.

  41. 169
    Smithy says:

    McCarthy take a bow, when you have lost some weight you fat, illiberal, undemocratic, troughing pig!

  42. 177
    Ho Hum says:

    all gone very quiet about PMQ’s …Oh dear

  43. 179
    Martin Day's goldfish says:

    They will be talked into doing a useful course. They might be encouraged to spend a year or two doing something else.

    That would have been sensible advice anyway.


  44. 181
    Engineer says:

    About 43% of the population go to university (we could debate whether this is appropriate, but it currently remains a fact). That comes at a cost – universities are not self-funding, especially the ones that find it hard to attract research income from the private sector. Those costs have to be paid. The full cost could be loaded onto the taxpayer (as was the case when a much smaller proportion of the population attended university) or it could be refunded by those who benefit from a university education when they can afford to do so. The first option isn’t possible because the country has spent all the taxpayers’ money (and then some). So it has to be the second.


    • 183
      Anonymous says:

      You forgot to mention that the English taxpayers can’t afford to send their students to university because they’re taxes are being used to send Scottish and Welsh students to university. That seems fair.

      • 184
        Engineer says:

        Not much the Westminster government can do about the decisions of the devolved assemblies, except that if the piss is taken too much, Westminster has the option of making the devolved assemblies raise their own taxes – if they can.

        The Scots, in particular, go quiet about independence when that possibility is raised.

  45. 189
    Postlethwaite says:

    Must be a slow day at Fawkes Manor . . .

  46. 196
    Jimmy says:

    That joke isn’t funny anymore.

  47. 199
    Colonel Blimp says:

    I’m VERY pleased to say that I couldn’t identify any song by any modern pop band.
    Obviously I must have heard pop songs as part of the general noise-clutter of everyday life – but to say who is “singing” what – no way.

  48. 200
    Tom FD says:

    It’s too close to home and it’s too near the bone

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Kevin Maguire on the less than electrifying Ed Miliband…

“I bet if you went into a pub tonight and started a conversation about ­politics you’d hear strong opinions. David Cameron would be out of touch and Nick Clegg despised while Nigel Farage would divide people sharply. Miliband? In a lot of boozers he’d be the fourth most interesting man in British politics.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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