December 3rd, 2010

Friday Caption Contest (Lembit Slips On Ring Edition)


406 Comments

  1. 1
    On Harman Pride's Dossier says:

    I refuse to be snarky about this, and I wish them both well for the future.

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ” you think your pussy is that small ? “

  3. 3
    Merv the Perv, BoE says:

    So, do you by any chance take it up the chuffer?

  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ” Yes i know about the birds and bees , stop being cheeky “

  5. 5

    Man with stupid name and stupid face checks out a new pair of ‘cheeky girls’.

  6. 6

    One massive tit looks at two massive tits.

  7. 7
    Catosays says:

    I wonder if you’d mind me slipping into your ring!

  8. 8
    AC1 says:

    They make a lovely pair, and so does Lembit and “friend”.

  9. 9
    Limpet Opec says:

    When I’m finished with this jungle I’ll start on yours, dear.

  10. 10

    Pretty lady fingers cretin’s ring.

  11. 11
    purpleline says:

    Darling you play with this ring now and I will play with your ring piece back at the Hotel. I am rimming with pride. Did you know I was an MP in Westminster before coming out here trying for a career in TV.

  12. 12
    Steve Miliband says:

    When I said ‘give me a ring when you leave the jungle’ this is not what I meant you fucking perv.

  13. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ” I am in a crap jwellrey advert , Get me out of here ! “

  14. 14
    Doc Trough says:

    A Celebration I think! O’Tenn, bring us Caviar and Sekt…

  15. 15
    Steve Miliband says:

    On leaving the jungle Lempit Opik confronts his knockers

  16. 16
    Son of Gordon and Harriet says:

    Oh, that’s better, I can see the ring now.

  17. 17

    There’s a ghost in that photo (seriously).

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Think of all the lucky girls who have worn this ring before.

  19. 19
    gawkes says:

    “I said to him give me a ring and he brings me here, sucker”

  20. 20
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ” Its Ok , I got it on expenses a few years ago “

  21. 21
    Steve Miliband says:

    Ratners reveal new advert;

    “How can you sell this for such a low price?”
    “because it’s total crap”.

  22. 22
    Young Man With Dick In Hand says:

    Who is the MILF?

  23. 23
    I say "aye"! says:

    I’m a celebrity let me in !

  24. 24
    Confucius he says:

    Man who pretend to admire lady fingernails really fantasise bout titty-fuck

  25. 25

    *ripple of applause*

  26. 26
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Next Labour leader proves he is a man .

  27. 27
    Catosays says:

    And this fitted your willy?

  28. 28
    Doc Trough says:

    There is. At his right shoulder. I think it’s his spirit guide, Charlie.

  29. 29
    Ricky Ponting says:

    Lembit “Your tummy looks like you’re pregnant. Tell me you’re not carrying the Son of Brown”

  30. 30
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ” its ok , I have done this before .”

  31. 31
    Confucius he says:

    I see it ! Edwina Currie ?

  32. 32
    Leprechaun says:

    Nice Little Earner:-

    “Anyone with a bit of free time at 1pm tomorrow
    in London – we suggest you hire a boat and
    hang around on the Thames under Westminster
    Bridge. Students from the Slade School
    of Art are planning on protesting the rise
    in university fees by gathering on the bridge
    and, “after Big Ben’s jingle at the strike
    of ONE”, everyone is supposed to release a
    five pound note into the river. “The group will
    then leave in silence”. You could conceivably
    leave considerably richer. And of course,
    donate the money to the students, or something.”

  33. 33

    Opik looking right at it shocker.

  34. 34
    Steve Miliband says:

    Boasts of being ‘big down under’ win another admirer for unlikely suitor

  35. 35
    Amongomous says:

    Cor! thats the first time i’ve seen a profile of her tits,he’s a right lucky bastard that limpdick.

  36. 36
    London Dingy Owner says:

    Lot man the boats boys, a good days pay is on it’s way.

    Someone ask Freddy Flintoff if they can borrow is pedalo as well to get some free money.

  37. 37
    Lady Victoria Sponge says:

    Lemon Optic looks like he has had a stroke and anyone who hooks up with him is seeking publicity and cash. :Φ)

  38. 38
    old letch says:

    What doe she possibly see in her?

  39. 39
    Cheeky girl says:

    Nice pair of tits.

  40. 40
    nell says:

    And who is that shadow lady, in the picture, watching him from behind his right shoulder?

    Surely he’s not being haunted by one his past loves?

  41. 41
    Phil is out on his Woolarse says:

    Ah, he’s a fellow boob man. Good on him.

  42. 42
    simon r says:

    The lovebird’s moment of joy soon turned to horror when they noticed that Mark O-a-t-e-n had left a ‘present’ for them on the glass topped cabinet.

  43. 43

    MP who tried and failed buys ring for bride that was mailed.

  44. 44
    the clap says:

    After some light cosmetic surgery, Sian and Lembit rekindle the fire.

  45. 45
    Phil is out on his Woolarse says:

    She bears a worrying resemblance to Sally Alley in profile.

  46. 46
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ” Yes Darling … Perfect Darling …. 100k Darling no worries darling …….. An affair Darling , Fine darling ”

    ” What did you say again ?”

  47. 47
    Lemon Optic says:

    A couple of tits looking for publicity.

  48. 48
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Passer-by: “That’s quite a tit”

    Lemsip ToothpicK: “Oi! I resemble that remark!”

  49. 49
    Mike Litorus says:

    Mong I’d like to Fuckoff? It’s Lembit Something or other, some z-lister, fuck knows what he is famous for…

  50. 50
    DR says:

    This one must be a contender, Guido …

  51. 51
    the last quango in paris says:

    I spy a couple of tits

  52. 52
    Willsteed says:

    Do my tits look big in this?

  53. 53
    Jethro Q. Walrus-Titty says:

    The only ring Limpdick is slipping is his cockring-he needs it some say.

  54. 54
    Lembit the stroke victim says:

    I thought he was still in the jungle letting Shaun Ryder give him one up the ring.

  55. 55
    Steve Miliband says:

    So Lembit, what was it that attracted you to your blond, buxom 21 year old fiance?

  56. 56
    jgm2 says:

    I’d rather have his ring on my finger than his finger in my ring.

  57. 57
    Outlier says:

    What an utter twat! Why doesn’t the media simply ignore this vain, attention-seeking idiot….?

  58. 58
    Lempit Otpik says:

    Exclusive : ” I was kicked out of the Lib Dems for being a hetrosexual man “

  59. 59
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    The cheeky girl’s mother.

  60. 60
    Ouch says:

    ..and the two lucky guys.

  61. 61
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    What I want for Christmas is the invisibility cloak that this constantly attending photographer has (although this appears to be through a window they have been rather closely shadowed).

    I certainly wouldn’t be using the cloak for photographing these two (good luck to them, I know I would given half a chance) there’s work to be done saving the country!

  62. 62

    “You’ve got breasts bigger than Guido’s.”

  63. 63
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I bet he’s had a lot more than a stroke. Life just aint fair.

  64. 64
    Sir William Waad says:

    Lembit’s new job was going well so far.

  65. 65
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Now, where did that locket go to when the chain broke?”

  66. 66
    Rog says:

    Lib Rings Merily We Spy…

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    it must be love because he is looking at the ring, personally tru love is looking at the snobbins :)

  68. 68
    Figgley, D says:

    It’s funny money, mate. I printed it for the little darlings. They ain’t that stupid, FFS.

  69. 69
  70. 70
    Anonymous Guinness Drinker says:

    Oi !!

  71. 71
    Phil is out on his Woolarse says:

    Is this the same ring you bought that Cheeky Girl?

  72. 72
    Steve Miliband says:

    UK Secret Agent caught on film trying to bribe wife of FIFA official.

  73. 73
    Cheeky girl says:

    Opik says: “If I give you this ring will you let me get into your pants”

    Women says: “No thanks I have one arsehole in there all ready”

  74. 74
    Cheeky girl says:

    Opik says: “Are you sure you are not pregnant? I’ve always wanted a blonde with brain-cells”

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    A career ladder, with out him she cannot get on it. Once she get it, she will kick him off.

  76. 76
    jgm2 says:

    OT

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11909607

    officials revised this view of Mr Brown during the financial crisis that followed in the autumn of 2008, when they reported that the then PM was “suddenly riding high”.

    But it was short-lived – by the following April, in the wake of the resignation of aide Damian McBride over a plot to smear T***s, they said it was “unlikely that any Labour politician with his or her eye on the future would want to take on the sinking ship that is the current Labour party at this time of crisis”.

    Brown was ‘riding high’ for the same reason OJ Simpson was ‘riding high’ when he got acquitted. Brown had, with the help of the BBC, changed the narrative from ‘incompetent lunatic destroys UK economy’ to ‘it was all the banker’s fault’. Just as OJ changed the narrative from ‘bang to rights’ to ‘institutionalised police racism’.

  77. 77
    Ethan says:

    Lemsip Opec – amazing how a bloke as (p)ugly as him, does it. Are there REALLY that many blind women in Westmonster? Or has he dug a tunnel into a ‘Womens college for the terminally blind and daft?

  78. 78
    Those tits are fucking gorgeous says:

    So which Japanese horror film is the ghost from?

  79. 79
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Winner !!!!

  80. 80

    Thank God I didn’t get re-elected – I couldn’t handle all this abstaining lark.

    http://fxbites.blogspot.com/2010/11/im-cable-and-shameless.html

  81. 81
    Julian says:

    “By the way this used to be Sian’s ring.”

  82. 82
    what a profile says:

    the ring slips on like this, you won’t know I’m wearing it, and my erections will last longer

  83. 83
    Buying her giant muff and comedy tits says:

    He’s paying for her ring. The pikey bike (who has 3 qualifuckations – a quim, an arse-hole, and a mouth, that the deformed fuckpig seeks from ‘women’) is his PA (aka proz).

  84. 84
    jdennis_99 says:

    Of course, she’s with him for his personality. Not the diamond, you hear? And of course, he’s with her for her… “personality”.

  85. 85
    Big guy says:

    Great tits, but she’s got a bit of a tummy.

  86. 86
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

    Honey, yes I know, my cock ring fits your finger…… is that a problem??

  87. 87
    Lembit Oik says:

    Slipping a finger in my ring makes me smile like that too.

  88. 88
    Steve Miliband says:

    Remember there’s no winners here Billy

  89. 89
    Proctologist says:

    up to the kuckle

  90. 90
    Siân (not the real one) Lloyd says:

    Three tits and a wedding.

  91. 91
    NotaSheep says:

    Outstanding

  92. 92
    6EQUJ5 says:

    This can’t be true as BBC News 24 haven’t reported it….erm.

  93. 93
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    OPPPs :) Silly me .

  94. 94
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I’m sure I’ve got a fake five pound note somewhere.

    Its got a picture of a harp on it.

  95. 95
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Have a butchers at this :

    Its a laugh

  96. 96
    literate pedant says:

    ‘of course you’ll be able to bring it back, dear. they know me here.’

  97. 97
    Limpet Opec says:

    I’m fascinated by your Swatch. Are they genuine?

  98. 98

    “I’m hallucinating – all I can see is Chris Huhne and Vince Cable!”

  99. 99
    Hugh ffishingly-Whittlingstool says:

    Figgy, old chap – I had no idea you were at the Fed now.

  100. 100
    Mad Jock McGinty says:

    Wouldn’t crawl over her to get to you.

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    Well known Irish navvy, Lembit O’Pick, admires his ‘Cheeky Girls’ .

  102. 102
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    L*ckerbie bomber to sue Scotish prison , for failing to look after him .

  103. 103
    Anonymous says:

    Lembit’s fembot tries on ring tat.

  104. 104
    Eva Prawn says:

    :)

  105. 105

    Desperate Lembit had tried
    to order a catalogue bride
    she came with big tits
    and a strap-on that fits
    right up Opik’s backside

  106. 106
    Ethan says:

    Riding high becuase he was carrying little of substance.

    You can try to hide your inner fuckwit for some time but sooner or later a fuckwit will emerge. I just had no idea that behind McDoom’s inner fuckwit was a even bigger mentalist fuckwit.

  107. 107
    cheesy knob says:

    weather its cheeky or not hes now going for a–shes 21 get me into her.

  108. 108
    Amike says:

    “Difficult to see it properly under the overhang Lemmy, but fits the ring finger just great. Real comfy. A genuine Aussie croc anus, wow!”

  109. 109
    Radio Balls Pond Road says:

    Stop fingering my arse, you’re making me giggle.

  110. 110
    News ... Sky Snooze - Breaking News - Sky Snooze - Breaking says:

    We are all pussies here, especially our twat Security Editor Sam Kiley who is attempting to bat for the government and establishment by assassinating the character of a certain Mr Assange.

    – – – + + + – – –

    Are Sky jealous they haven’t been given any ‘exclusives’ by any chance..?

    Why do they call themselves journalists? Why not just simpering apparatchiks?

  111. 111
    Mark Oaten says:

    Yup

  112. 112
    Dick the Prick says:

    Seriously, how the fuck do you get away with that? Respect to the lad.

  113. 113
    joe 90 is Belgian Commie says:

    Limptwatt starts Wales 2026 World Cup bid by looking for proportional Representation

  114. 114
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ” Well its a better sight than looking at Labour from across the House “

  115. 115
    Engineer says:

    Not a caption, but I just wonder what the tensile strength of t-shirt material is. It’s elasticity is clearly quite good.

  116. 116
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Sion Simon ????

  117. 117
    Four Eyed English Genius says:

    Big tits all round, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

  118. 118

    As you suggest. Looking at his right arm though maybe he’s performing a vertical appendectomy.

  119. 119
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    +1

  120. 120
    Euripides says:

    There once was a Liberal named Lembit
    The voters all told him he was shit
    They gave him the sack
    But now he is back
    On our screens, being a right tit.

  121. 121
    Harriet Rugmuncher says:

    Oh, yes!

  122. 122
    Euripides says:

    I’ll get me sock.

  123. 123
    bergen says:

    Lembit has imitate and overtake strategy to beat Boris in next mayoral contest.

  124. 124
    Harriet Rugmuncher says:

    Spot-on!!

  125. 125
    Hugh ffishingly-Whittlingstool says:

    If Guido gave out prizes, this would get one.

  126. 126
    Pattie O'Doors says:

    Here’s another picture of the happy couple…

  127. 127
    Carl Sagan, astronaut says:

    I’d say the t-shirt has more elasticity than the protuberances it contains.

  128. 128
    Harriet Rugmuncher says:

    Scotland the Brave, eh?

  129. 129
    Airey Belvoir says:

    “I hope you like it – I bought a whole box of them wholesale on expenses, only a few left now.”

  130. 130
    Harriet Rugmuncher says:

    He’s a lop-sided c’unt, but I wonder what Lembit’s sex face looks like.

  131. 131
    Guido Tweet says:

    “Odd article from Sam Coates in @timespolitics accusing me of “using material from Tory Press Officers.” Something he does every day.”

  132. 132
    Gregory Peckory says:

    That’s weird. In this picture she’s being chopped in half by a pane of glass. Shouldn’t someone warn her?

  133. 133
    streamfisher says:

    Lembit fisting half a yard makes bitch laugh.

  134. 134
    Gordon Brown says:

    I cannot see what he sees in her

  135. 135
    Maximus says:

    The ring or the baby?

  136. 136
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    the woman serving appears to being bashed by an enormous ghostly handbag.

  137. 137
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    surely “ghostly handbag” isn’t banned is it?

    Is that because its David Cameron’s recurring nightmare?

  138. 138
  139. 139
    Postal Vote says:

    Naturally interested in natural curves …

    Mind you, being women-obsessed is not an impediment to become London Mayor!

  140. 140
    SIR STANLEY CAMERON says:

    Kidney bean faced would be comedian
    oggles a pair of false tits

  141. 141
    Head ICC Honcho says:

    Very attractive.

  142. 142
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    With no chance of ever being elected again as a Lib-Dum
    Limp dick and his child bride consider a legal passage into Labour

  143. 143
    Patrick Troughton, just passing says:

    It’s probably just a trick of the light.

    *THHUMMP*

    *gurgle*

  144. 144
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Blonde: ‘ It’s lovely but I’d really like Kate Middleton’s ring.’

    Limpdick: ‘After three months I’ll probably be saying the same thing.’

  145. 145
    BEAN FACE says:

    I must marry this one quick before i become a total nobody !

  146. 146
    BA Pilot says:

    Nose is a bit Concordy.

  147. 147
    Thunders says:

    They did a great job filing off the engraved “Cheeky cheeky”…

  148. 148
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Blonde: ‘ The ring’s lovely! D’ya know what would go well behind my ears with it ?? ‘

    Limpdick: ‘ Your ankles ??’

  149. 149
    SILICONE VALLEY says:

    £3,500 you could have a pair of them
    what the fuck do people find atractive about plastic tits ?

  150. 150
    Hugh Janus says:

    Definitely.

  151. 151
    jockstrap says:

    ok now can i have look at pussy

  152. 152
    Limpdick Open says:

    Really ??? Only known her two months, haven’t looked at her face yet.

  153. 153
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You are Mrs Balls and i claim my £5 :)

  154. 154
    randomly pressing keys says:

    Grey bimbo : So, do you three come here often?

  155. 155
    m m m m m m mr speaker says:

  156. 156
    shellingout says:

    Oh dear. Well the cheeky girl must have been well past her sell by date when he broke off their engagement, so he’s had to get a newer model. Doesn’t say much about her taste in men though, does it.

  157. 157
    Hugh Janus says:

    Your post neatly encapsulates the only attributes required for the job of MP.

  158. 158
    P. Doff says:

    Three months, maybe four… hence the other unexpected present – a ring!

  159. 159
    shellingout says:

    Heels aren’t quite high enough……

  160. 160
    Hugh Janus says:

    Brutal but remarkably accurate.

  161. 161
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Was the ring slippery?

  162. 162
    Albert Hall says:

    she can **** in my tea and I’d still drink it.

  163. 163
    Jonathan says:

    Why on earth give yet more publicity to this useless has-been? He abused the parliamentary expenses system – don’t forget the alterations to his kitchen and the 42″ plasma television paid for by the public purse, was a waste of space as MP for Montgomeryshire – the electorate there finally got fed up with his “celebrity” life style and threw him out at the General Election. Round the Welsh Marches most of us are sick to death of this loon-faced, self-serving, self-promoting idiot

  164. 164
    Mandy says:

    What on earth does he see in her?

  165. 165
    HARRY CO BEAN says:

    Yer pants are commin down !

    No there not !

    Well fuckin rings going back then !

  166. 166
    I, literally, died laughing says:

    Gets my vote.

  167. 167
    MUNG BEAN says:

    If a woz still an MP yer cud av ad one off the £100 tray !

    Lets try Ratners !

  168. 168
    Billy H, SW1 says:

    One too many holes for my liking.

  169. 169
    Just Sayin' Like... says:

    How does he do it? Lucky bastard! Wish them well too.

  170. 170
    A RUMMAGE THROUGH THE UNDERGROWTH says:

    She is saying

    I hope you last longer in my bush than you did in that one !

  171. 171
    I, literally, died laughing says:

    You’re on the shortlist of winners, just behind Australia and Belgium.

  172. 172
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Winner!

    Plastic or real, they are humungous tits tho’.

  173. 173
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    A valiant effort.

  174. 174
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Let me get this right Lembit, you’ll buy me this ring if I let you take me from behind?

  175. 175
    Just Sayin' Like... says:

    One image I could do without….

  176. 176
    Little Boy Blue says:

    Do you like it darling – I get them wholesale.

  177. 177
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    Ha ha dates a cheeky girl
    gets involved in their immigration row
    soon as it’s sorted gets dumped
    ever get the feeling you were sought out ?

    i wonder what this one wants ?

  178. 178
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    Love the term “Has Bean”
    ha ha ha

  179. 179
    Blond in the photo says:

    If you need some light relief, Lembit, wear this at full volume, babes.

  180. 180
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    The cheeky girl Dumped bean face
    not the other way round !

  181. 181
    smoggie says:

    “And one ring to rue the Mall.”

  182. 182
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    As a failed MP !
    I still hold some clout !

  183. 183
    Harriet Rugmuncher says:

    EXCELLENT!!!!!

  184. 184
    Lembit and babe says:

    “Didja say you was a minister in da guvverment?”

    “Of course. I’m minister for…um…the ring cost £20,000.”

    “Oh wicked! Fanks!”

  185. 185
    LIMP DICK WHAT HAVE YOU BEAN DOING ? says:

    He’s an ex Glib-Dem !
    and She’s in Labour !

  186. 186
    Sir William Waad says:

    She: “Now, where’s the microscope?”

  187. 187
    Lord Haw Haw says:

    DUNK ?

  188. 188
    LAUGHING BOY says:

    Oh Yeh !

  189. 189
  190. 190
    Bat out of Hell says:

    The strange and funny appearance of Meat Loaf on This Week talking about being a conservative and a sex god.

  191. 191
    Ludwig says:

    He’s fallen in love, arse over tit!

  192. 192
    Anonymous says:

    do a search on google for:
    lembit opik girlfriend
    then click on images to get thumbnails of his past/present birds in all their various states of undress.

    It’s a veritable wankfest.

    Say what you like about him being a nerdy annoying twat, but he’s a fucking lucky nerdy annoying twat.

  193. 193
    Dick the Prick says:

    Hope weather’s alright man. Had a leaky kitchen tap so turned water off and fucked off to boozer like a chump so now have eliminated water through frozen activity. Having to resort to cider rather than tea but frankly!!!! Hope all’s well a’Italia. This latest Berlusconni thing looks like it’ll take him out?

  194. 194
    Bat out of Hell says:

    “Lembit’s new squeezable squeeze”.

  195. 195
    P. Doff says:

    Lord Haw Haw… that just about takes the biscuit!

  196. 196
    Bernard Manning says:

    The lad’s coming on good. Pimplet should now concentrate on saying something funny.

  197. 197
    shellingout says:

    But why is that? Certainly not for his good looks, or shining wit – or was it the other way round.

    The only attraction is his money. Quite shallow really.

  198. 198
    shellingout says:

    Has Been? I thought he was a “Never Was”.

  199. 199
    Limpet O'Pecker says:

    12 inches is hard to turn your nose up at.

  200. 200
    smoggie says:

    For any England fans in need of a larf..

  201. 201
    Delbit Trotpeg says:

    A nice cluster of solitaire diamonds
    Lovely Jubbly

  202. 202
    shellingout says:

    Depends on your perspective.

  203. 203
    shellingout says:

    OK, but it still doesn’t say much for her taste in men. She obviously kept the ring, otherwise he wouldn’t be in Tiffany’s.

  204. 204
    Bat out of Hell says:

    Have you see 70 year old multi-millionaire Sir Clive Sinclair’s girlfriend? A double Phwoooar with fries on the side.

  205. 205
    ron Vibentrop says:

    Yep, and the only ring you got on your finger was his arsehole.

  206. 206
    nell says:

    http://www.heatworld.com/Im-A-Celebrity-Get-Me-Out-Of-Here/2010/12/Gillian-McKeiths-diva-jungle-demands-and-the-Lembit-Opik-roadshow/

    +++laugh++

    lembit says he has to find a way to earn a living so he’s joining up with gillianmckeith in a roadshow about insect phobias!!

  207. 207
  208. 208
    Bat out of Hell says:

    Do you mean this lovely?

  209. 209
    shellingout says:

    Well it won’t be Diamonique. I hope it costs him an arm and a leg.

  210. 210
    shellingout says:

    He’s got a good face for radio.

  211. 211
    nell says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/formulaone/article-1333283/Fabiana-Flosi-Bernie-Ecclestone-mugged-200-000-jewellery.html

    Well of course these women are only interested in money / jewellery

    just look at 80yearold bernie’s latest!

  212. 212
    I came to see a comedian get me out of here ! says:

    You mean this young slapdancer ? it must be the teeth or the promise of his C5″

  213. 213
    Even Have I Got News For You taking piss out of Ed says:

  214. 214
    I came to see a comedian get me out of here ! says:

    Even John Major got to shag away from home
    It’s all about power !

    limp dick hasn’t got a great deal of wealth
    or looks the bean faced twat !

  215. 215

    Look into my eyes, not around the eyes, look into the eyes…and you’re in!

  216. 216
    girl number 43 - somewhere between the Welsh bint and the Stick Insect says:

    comment removed by the author

  217. 217
    Bat out of Hell says:

    Yes, her, though I prefer this pic:

  218. 218
    Busted Nokia says:

    that ring has more carats than her age

  219. 219
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Lemsip Ropedick. Living proof that politics is show business for ugly people.

  220. 220

    That Gillian McKeith really scrubs up lovely.

  221. 221
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    What attracted her to a guy with a bendy face?

  222. 222
    shellingout says:

    If Ann Widdecombe can earn a living after politics, there is a glimmer of hope for Lembit.

  223. 223
    shellingout says:

    Lembit is a serial fiancee.

  224. 224
    I'm Just a Normal Person: Get Me Outta Here and Meet Me In The Ship, Wardour Street says:

    Modern life is soo interesting.

  225. 225
    Laban says:

    “You have to say that’s magnificent”

  226. 226
    Nick Clegg says:

    Lembit is a huge penis that happens to be attached to an ex-Liberal MP.

  227. 227
    ...... says:

    I love italics.

  228. 228
    Mussel Leany says:

    Yeah, their tanks have 23 reverse gears.

  229. 229

    Lembit is saying “This is my kind of Bushtucker trial”

  230. 230
    I came to see a comedian get me out of here ! says:

    Hung like a Baboon ?
    Certainly looks like one !

  231. 231
    CLARENCE frog man HENRY says:

    So the government is right
    Students definitly have more money than sense

  232. 232
    pussywatch says:

    um,

    now let me get this right,

    thats not Cherie Blair he’s talking to , is it?

  233. 233
    THE BONE ARRANGER says:

    Show us a picture of your perfect wife then !

  234. 234
    THE BONE ARRANGER says:

    And by the way I used to be a man !

  235. 235
    THE BONE ARRANGER says:

    I say dear do you like football ?
    oh good then come back to mine and i’ll take you up the Arsenal !

  236. 236
    Delbit Trotpeg says:

    That ring costs more than than Uni fees

  237. 237
    Delbit Trotpeg says:

    Bugger developed a stammer – your uni fees

  238. 238
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    TIT’s better to have loved and lost
    than never to have loved at all

  239. 239
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    Thank you thank you calm down !

    David Chaytor in the prison showers he looks at the bloke next to him who has a 14″ cock
    Jesus christ mate ! I’d give my right arm for half of that !

    Bloke point’s to the floor and says
    Pass us that soap and you can have all of it !

  240. 240
    The Lumberjack Diet says:

    So, when I pull on this one, your bottom squeaks?

  241. 241
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    thank you thank you
    you’ve been a great audience
    before i go

    Phil woolarse went home from the pub
    he says to his wife
    Our milkman was in the pub shouting out that he had shagged every woman in our street except one !
    his wife say’s yes it’s probably that miseable cow at no32

    boom boom thak you

  242. 242
    Dack Blog says:

    A picture of Lembit Opik? A caption would be superfluous.

  243. 243
    GRIPPER SMITH CAREER CRIMINAL PRISON DADDY and part time puff says:

    He is in Strangeway’s

  244. 244
    GRIPPER SMITH CAREER CRIMINAL PRISON DADDY and part time puff says:

    Limp Dick Opek
    the only man alive with an arsehole at each end !

  245. 245
    SaltPetre says:

    I was hoping to see a video of some jiggling titties!

  246. 246
    concrete pump says:

    What the fucks with the italics…..?

  247. 247
    Bat out of Hell says:

    It was rather delicious to see piggy surrounded by the press. The look on his face is priceless.

  248. 248
    The wanker on the blog says:

    Respect. I couldn’t keep this up. V funny +1

  249. 249
    Dont panic dont panic there is no fuel shortage says:

    there is now you jurno wankers
    why fucking report it if it isn’t true
    oh i know to start panic buying and cause a new story for your rag
    tossers

  250. 250
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Let’s sum up the parties with 1 word:

    Labour: Incompetent
    Conservative: Corrupt
    LibDem: Wierd

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11915836

  251. 251
    The wanker on the blog says:

    Sian said there would be pressure building round my parts.

  252. 252
    nell says:

    lembit is as seriously incompetent at relationships as buzzmilitwit is as seriously incompetent at politics.

  253. 253
    Anonymous says:

    Being a Liberal, this wasn’t the first time she had stuck her finger in Lembit’s ring.

  254. 254
    Ooh errrr matron says:

    darling..slip your finger into my ring…that’s right, all the way over the knuckle…does it fit? What? It’s too slack?

  255. 255
    Lecter 8 says:

    Hey! What about us?

  256. 256
    Anonymous says:

    C’mon lembit that ring doesn’t cost anywhere near as much as my bust enhancement did!

  257. 257
    콘크리트 펌프 says:

    That’s better – now what’s with the fucking italics…?

  258. 258
    Bat out of Hell says:

    Lembit seems attracted to chavs. My idea of a beautiful woman is the perfect English rose Emily Blunt.

  259. 259
    Limpet O'Pecker says:

    No, your thingy is nice and tight but you could’ve had a dump before we came to bed.

  260. 260

    Foully wet here too.

    Will he be bothered though? A greater loss to Italy than often reckoned, it’s been grand and dandy having a government led by a politician that doesn’t take himself seriously. he’s on the opposite side of the board to McSnot: surrounded by adulating women, a single guy with some serious cash to splash. North Queensferry or Sardinia anyone?.

  261. 261
    A woman spurned says:

    Ooooh! Get her!

  262. 262
    Err.. says:

    That’s three.

  263. 263
    The last quango in paris says:

    Theres a ghost there!!

  264. 264
    The last quango in paris says:

    Is she u t d ?

  265. 265
    Young Man With His Dick In His Hand says:

    Im prefer a real English woman like Gemma Arterton!

  266. 266
    Where is she now? says:

  267. 267
    Lord Haw Haw says:

    or maybe a soapy titty w*nk, it would be rude not to.

  268. 268
    Bradders The Badger says:

  269. 269
    Dual citizen says:

    Slightly off topic .. that hypocritical bint Lisa Nandy has just posted a blog on Labour List …. comments please …

    http://bit.ly/gyj8XI

  270. 270
    nell says:

    A woman spurned eh??!!

    Bit like gordon with the yanks then?? Hmm??!

  271. 271
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Son of Simon?

  272. 272
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Ho ho ho.
    Here’s 3 more then:

    UKIP: Fanatical
    Green: Deluded
    B N P: Misguided

  273. 273
    Dick Scratcher says:

    “…and how about a nice pair of drops to go with them darling?”

  274. 274
    David "It's too close to call" Cameron says:

    If only he’d have been willing to be a junior partner, who knows how the special relationship would have gone?
    My hero, Tony, taught me that when romancing our American friends, coquettishness really turns them on

  275. 275
    nell says:

    In that video edmilitwit says labour is doing everything it can to combat fraud.

    Yet he is still giving his support to phil woollyarse!

    Says everything !!

  276. 276
    Anonymous says:

    I agree, strangely no Trolls defending him either.

  277. 277
    Vote for change says:

    300+ lives in Afghanistan a complete waste of space according to our American friends.
    Still think that’s a price worth paying Dave?

  278. 278
    Vote for change says:

    300+ lives in Afghanistan a complete waste of space according to our American friends.
    Still think that’s a pr*ce worth paying Dave?

  279. 279
    I, literally, died laughing says:

    Must be a Catholic joke.

  280. 280
    nell says:

    son of brown, edmilitwit says, “my hero tells me that all I need to do is romance omaha in a kitchen somewhere and the yanks will lurve me”!!

  281. 281
    CCHQ says:

    8:23.

    Hasn’t engineer clocked on yet?

    Stop his benefits immediately.

  282. 282
    Lemsip O'paque says:

    You know darling, I am interested in asteroids, and particularly Uranus.

  283. 283
    Dont panic dont panic there is no fuel shortage says:

    Quick save me from the swamp monster ! certainly my dear
    would you like a lift to carry those two ?

  284. 284
    David "It's too close to call" Cameron says:

    Luckily, he’s not in power, so who knows what a balls up of EU budget increases, the world cup bid, and junior partner in the special relationship he would make.

  285. 285
    Bill Wiggins says:

    It certainly does.

  286. 286
    nell says:

    How many of them died under bliar and brown’s premiership?

    Yes dave’s not clear of guilt either. And we arenlt going to forgive him for not getting our lads out of there as soon as he realised we couldn’t win. Which he surely did as he came into no.10.

    But let’s put blame where blame’s due. Who took us into this war? Who made sure our troops didn’t have kit and equipment to do the job? And who stood back and watched most them die over the few years when he could have done something to have at least made sure they had proper vehicles, kit and and equipment. Brown did! because he wanted to best bliar!!

    Brown and aintbustinagut didn’t give a toss. Bliar felt even less!! They went to bed every night, knowing our lads were dying, and never lost a minute’s sleep. And don’t you ever forget it!!!

  287. 287
    Dave "I'm going to get it sorted" Cameron says:

    Goodnight nell, and god bless British troops.

    http://www.channel4.com/news/harsh-criticism-for-british-military-in-us-diplomatic-cables

  288. 288
    A Life in Prayer says:

    “As it is more than 6 months since my last dumping, I assume my ring is ready for re-use.”

  289. 289
    Some Numbnut says:

    Yes, The Americans can be slightly annoying, don’t you think?
    Our boys will come home. Some of them will come home in several pieces.
    Look. We are fighting a war on terror. There are no winners.
    This is war. We have to keep at it. Without this invented conflict, the Western World would collapse. How else would we spend your money if we weren’t at war ?
    Sacrifices have to be made. War is never easy or cheap. We must never thumb our noses at the opportunity forwar. We will fight on until they realise that Britain is not for turning.

    etc. etc .

    E x .

    Fuckin arseholes .

  290. 290
    nell says:

    The world cup bid??

    gordon never understood like to rest of us that it was always going to go to russia.

    Yes cameron had to try and turn the tide with decency, honesty and an excellent bid. And he was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t.

    But even he knew, as we did, that russia had far too much mafia money for bribes, and the dark side of humanity was going to win out this time.

    Honesty and decency were drowned by bribery and corruption.

    There you go!!

  291. 291
    Just admiring my own comment says:

    lol

  292. 292
    Cassandrina says:

    Seems the ice and snow have quadrupled the entries to this blog concerning two twits and a twat.

  293. 293
    Francis Maude says:

    David Chaytor!
    What a thieving bastard.

  294. 294
    nell says:

    Don’t believe dave’s getting it sorted.

    Don’t believe it’s a war we can win.

    At the same time don’t stop believing in our lads because they are f++++++ marvellous . They are out there under equipped, poor vehicles, not enough medical support and fighting their hearts out. You won’t find better fighting men anywhere!!

    The yanks by comparison have been babied with every sophisticated piece of kit, best vehicles and armaments, much of it purchased from british manufacturers that have been blocked from supplying our own troops.

    Thanks gordon and aintbustinagut for nothing!!

    Dave and liam have still to make their mark!!

  295. 295
    Dave "I'm going to get it sorted" Cameron says:

    So when it comes to a choice between supporting the coalition, or sending more young servicemen into the meat grinder of Afghanistan, nell’s preference is blood for expenses, and political cowardice worthy of Gordon Brown.

  296. 296
    ERRATA says:

    For ‘asteroids’, read ‘haemorrhoids’.

  297. 297
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    Now watch a real stand up comedian
    play the crowd !

  298. 298
    nell says:

    Choice?? You idiot!!

    bliar and gordon haven’t left our soldiers with a choice!!

    There is no immediate way out of the hell labour has locked us into with it’s wars.

    All we can hope for now is that the coalition get our lads out of there sooner rather than later, because even they can’t get money and equipment to them fast enough to ensure that more of them are not going to die. Anybody that understands supply line technology understand that.

    bliarbrown and aintbustingut really do have blood on their hands.

    If cameron and liam don’t act fast to get our lads out of there so will they.

  299. 299
    Greg Beales says:

    Quote of the Day

    Guido Fawkes

    “Dr Vince Cable has performed so many U-turns over the issue of university funding that he is spinning on his heels.

    “That might stand him in good stead with the Strictly Come Dancing judges but the electorate will see it differently.”

  300. 300
    Mad Dog says:

    Sa

    Sa

    SAU

    SAUUUU

    SAUUUUSSS

    SAUUUSSSSSSSS

    SAUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAA

    SSAAUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    SSAAAUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS

    SAUSAGES!

  301. 301
    nell says:

    Never mind vince. How much have those faux middle class bored meeja uni/13 year old aspiring students of makeup and beauty cost the taxpayer in trashed premises and police time.

    It must amount to £millions.

    Are they worth it??!!

  302. 302
    CCHQ tealady says:

    nell’s doing a double shift. He’s snowed in his shed. Two sugars nell?

  303. 303
    Guido's spad says:

    ” Going for Bust”

  304. 304
    CCHQ tealady says:

    nell your tea’s getting cold. I made some turnip biscuits.

  305. 305

    “Let me at the mealie bug, young wench!”

  306. 306
    John Bercow says:

    The blood on his hands is washed away by the tears he weeps every Wednesday from 12:00 to 12:01.
    Then we get on to the serious business of knockabout politics.

  307. 307
    nell says:

    DavidChaytor – yeah sure but what about the rest like uddin and moran…………….??

  308. 308

    He’s probably asking her to come back to look at his engravings, and maybe, just maybe – Have Some Madeira My Dear – You’ve really got nothing oto fear…

  309. 309
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    And after a whirlwind romance limp dick utters those four little words

    Yer Not Are Ye ?

  310. 310
    CCHQ tealady says:

    Girl (adjusts beer goggles to ‘level 12x Bacardi Breezers’ as unzips gargoyle’s fly): “Lembit – you didn’t wash all those maggots off.”

  311. 311
    nell says:

    That’s gordon then is it bercow? Every night in the chamber from 1200 to 1201??

    That’s why he has cost us more the £2500 in airfares, between scotland and westminster in the last 6 months since he lost power, is it??!!

  312. 312

    John Major really was a lucky bastard – Edwina still has a lovely arse even after all this time…

  313. 313
    Number 8 says:

    lol

  314. 314
    nell says:

    Tealadies were retired when shriekyshriti and gordon finally left no.10.

    There was finally no-one left to scream abuse at them.

    Go home, put your feet up and enjoy some peace and quiet!

    As for turnips, try roasted parsnips. Same family but much sweeter. Really good with a sunday roast!!

  315. 315
    Number 8 says:

    Sorry to hear about your predecessor losing his job because William Hague kept rogering his leg and arse everytime he bent down over to put the kettle on.

  316. 316
    nell says:

    He probably is!

    I think he lives in cheshire. That’s where the big snowfalls are supposed to be tonight!

    I however have no intention of doing double shifts for anyone.

    Cosy bed, glass of wine, decent book, just beginning to snow outside and a rabbit thawing ready for me to cook rabbit stew and herby dumplings tomorrow.

    Heaven!!

  317. 317
    LIMP DICK TOOTH PICK says:

    anyone logged on near a telly just stick sky news on after the add’s is one of our scum class tarts phoning 999 to report that someone has stolen her snowman !
    i heared it earlier it is fuckin unreal !

  318. 318
    nell says:

    Never mind stolen snowmen!

    One last thought for tonight. I hope someone is looking after wikileaks assange. He sure deserves it!! Free speech is everything!!

  319. 319
    Dave "Firm but fair" Cameron says:

    Don’t fret nell. I’ll get it sorted.

  320. 320
    Number 8 says:

    The police gave a warning to a student for making a snow dick lol.

  321. 321
    Ewanme's Best Friend says:

    Tranny!

  322. 322
    Lemsip Oak Pick says:

    Yebbut think how disappointed he’ll be when he finds out she hasn’t got a cock.

  323. 323
    War? What war? says:

    As long as your comfortable, fuck those squaddies in danger of missing the weekend’s Conservative trolling.

  324. 324
    Beeb Watch says:

    No Tits Fiona Bruce just followed the Chaytor humiliation interview with Iain Watson with rumour of Cable’s Vote FOR Tuition Fees, no pause and change of subject as usual just straight juxstaposition.

    Al-beeba, ZanuLiebour’s broadcasting arm!!

    WTF!!

  325. 325
    Pay up, and play the game says:

    WTF are you doing watching it, and am i right in surmising you paid £142:50 for the privilege?

  326. 326
    nell says:

    Ah! There you are aintbustinagut and kevan

    Well y’know we middle aged ladies do what we can to raise funds for injured troops and to keep the plight of our under-resourced troops in the field in the public eye with press releases and blog posts.

    Given that your, now failed, government is responsible for putting them there, what are you doing for them??!!

  327. 327
    Phil Woolas says:

    I will be backing Afzal Khan as the Labour candidate for the Oldham East and Saddleworth by-election

  328. 328
    dave "junior partner" cameron says:

    Fuck all, nell, if the truth be told.

  329. 329
    nell says:

    I think more importantly it will be how disappointed she is when she finds out he has no income and no power and he’s hoping to make a few bob as a stand up comic!!

    I suspect she’ll have less staying power than a snowflake in a heatwave!!!

  330. 330
    THE CURSE OF CAMERON STRIKES AGAIN! Hahaha!! says:

  331. 331
  332. 332
    MR BEAN face says:

    Ok who ran over his fuckin head ?

  333. 333
    Trannie Watch says:

    Just heard Droney droming on NewsNight; seems the financial frauder trannie reckons that he worked on the shopfloor at Jaguar Landrover, when pressing Irwin Steltzer on worker exploitation!!

    Feck off Crack-a-Jack, never done an honest day in your life!!

  334. 334
  335. 335
    Now watch a real stand up comedian play the crowd ! says:

  336. 336
    From The Labour Party School of Ethics says:

    A lawyer jailed for conning millions from a bank to help a friend’s airline has been asked to repay more than £2m. Kate Johns, the former deputy head of Tokyo Mitsubishi’s legal section, asked colleagues to approve letters of credit for Indonesian carrier Air Efata. The offences, which took place in 2006, cost the bank about £7.7m. Air Efata shut down and its boss killed himself. Southwark Crown Court asked Mrs Johns, 40, of Gloucester Avenue, Camden Town, north London, to pay within six months. Her personal assets which could be recovered by the authorities were thought to be worth £2.1m. This included her share of the family home, about £100,000 worth of jewellery and a credit card with more than £10,000 credit. If Mrs Johns fails to settle the amount she faces a 10-year jail term.

  337. 337
    A. Nonny says:

    lol

  338. 338
    remember says:

    It reminds me of my other famous girlfriends song entitled touch my ring. I liked that.

  339. 339
    annnnonyperson says:

    “Ummm…. remind me, my dear: Which Cheeky Girl are you, again?”

  340. 340
    Doc Cox says:

    My contribution to civilization. I note that Cowell has copied my ‘bog-brush’ hairdo.

  341. 341
    annnnonyperson says:

    That’s about right…

  342. 342
    memories of propermoney says:

    You don’t buy many of them for a euro.

  343. 343
    Phil is out on his Woolarse says:

    Are you really Doc Cox AKA Ivor Biggun?

  344. 344
    taffy says:

    My parents always said it is better to be born lucky than good looking.
    I am taking her back to whales when i stand again as an Mp they are proud of their mountains in whales.

  345. 345
    Five Go Mad On Billy's Cock ! says:

    Not long till kick off. 1 for 0 sounds good to me. Bring The Squatters on, I say!

  346. 346
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Right , Message to trolls ( Left and right ) , I aint a tory lover or a labour lover or a lib dem lover , In fact they all scum . Our politcs is one big fuckin game for them , Its as corupt as Fifa .

    the only main protest we have is voting for the lesser of 2 evils .

    I am fucking sick of the tit-tat between all sides , Why not put country first ?

    The only people that suffer are taxpayers .

    Maybe Guido Fawkes had the right fuckin idea , You have abused the taxpayer enough 1

  347. 347
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And , all parties arse lick the EU and wank over different versions of socailism .

    FUCKING C UNTS !!!!!!

  348. 348
    Doc Cox says:

    Are you really Phil Woollyarse AKA Itell Bigguns?

  349. 349
    Robbie says:

    Lembit gets set for his favourite bush f*ck her trial.

  350. 350
    Phil is out on his Woolarse says:

    Yes. I lost my appeal at court today and I’m very disappointed. There’s nothing wrong with lying at elections. It’s in the Labour rulebook.

  351. 351
    Ewanme and her drinking buddy says:

    Nice one, petal !!!

    **Buurrrp**

  352. 352
    Sly says:

    A late entry but could be the winner

  353. 353
    Barack Omaha says:

    ED BALLS
    Super-bright but charmless
    ‘Super bright, relatively young, Ed Balls … has performed badly as schools secretary and is accused of shirking responsibility for the failings of his department … Critics point out that since coming out from the shadows and entering the public arena, Balls has shown himself to be less than suited to the top job: his public speaking is derided as “dull”, his slightly awkward manner as “charmless”, and he has many enemies within the party, precisely because of his relationship with the PM. Party insiders accuse him of cowardice because he tells Brown what he thinks Brown wants to hear.’

  354. 354
    Five Go Mad On Billy's Cock ! says:

    You ain’t never had Aussies camping on your floor for nothing, Just Askin ??

  355. 355
    Just Askin says:

    I’m intrigued. Why ‘The Squatters’?

  356. 356
    honest lembit says:

    Hasn’t life turned to shit.
    A few years ago i could have put that down on my parliamentary expenses.

  357. 357
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Right , I got problem from Wiki about voilitre

    ” “I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write.”[

    But says it aint him but in the spirit of him , Can anyone post a link to the truth ?

  358. 358
    jealous says:

    and so says all us

  359. 359
    the clap says:

    Lol ! Err….no. Strauss fancied watching the match from the pavillion, it seems?

  360. 360
    wiseman says:

    click the link on this website
    edmillibandtonyblairgordonbrownjackstraw.liar.co.uk
    they will explain the meaning of truth

  361. 361
    Billy is Holding the batsman's Willey says:

    Na night Billy. Na night lesser posters. R2 fucked. Can’t be bothered. See you in the future.

  362. 362
    healthyman says:

    I am following government advice eating 2 melons counts as part of your 5 a day fruits.

  363. 363
    Breaking News says:

    Apparently some teenagers have been arrested for an arson attack on a newly built mosque in Stoke On Trent. And people keep saying teenagers don’t do anything useful.

  364. 364
    anyway says:

    If you’ve never tried it don’t knock it.

  365. 365
    augustine the hippo says:

    slack bladder head of the Mafifia

  366. 366
    sammishakabartsimpson says:

    I’ve got a solicitor for them they had nothing to do they were only rsing about waiting for the student riots next week.

  367. 367
    Phil is out on his Woolarse says:

    There’s a lefty presenter on Talksport right now, Matt Forde, asking for calls about David Chaytor. Forde used to work for Labour and he’s actually defending Chaytor! Co-conspirators should call in and give the Labour twat an earful!

  368. 368
    MR BEAN face says:

    Specsavers mate !

    MILF she is 21 years old !

  369. 369
    THE LATE GREAT BERNARD MANNING says:

    If she was my daughter
    i’d still be bathing her !

  370. 370
  371. 371
    Blunt says:

    Fuck me I’d shag her tits

  372. 372
    Blunt says:

    And pull her cheeks apart and spit in her hole

  373. 373
    Ms Opik says:

    Lembit is campaigning for Britain to allow one to marry their pet. He wants to be the first and marry this moose

  374. 374

    One ring to ruin them all, One ring to lie to them –
    One ring to support a war and in the darkness blind them.

    Limpdick Nobrain is our very own Gollum, except he’s too precioussssss for his own sake.

  375. 375
    albacore says:

    Oh, where have you been
    Billy Boy, Billy Boy?
    Oh, where have you been
    Charming Billy?
    If this is news to you
    You’ve been sniffing too much glue
    It’s a done thing
    And Fawkes would have no other

  376. 376

    To be fair to Forde, he’s not that bad for a broadcaster – too right wing for the BBC but still out of touch with the real world.

    Mike Graham – there was a proper libertarian on the airwaves, but he’s now clowning about in the mornings with that fool Parry who used to ‘write’ for the Excess.

    I’d do the show just for expenses if I’m allowed to rip the heads off the leftie callers…

  377. 377

    So, Phil – you think that the solution to segregation and the marginalisation of the English population is to choose a Parki as a candidate on the basis of what?

    Postal votes?
    Inclusion?
    Equality?

    Fuck off you Huhne, and remember that I know you’re a police grass.

  378. 378

    The c’unt has been totally employed by the Supreme Soviet since before Grunwick, at which time he had already dropped his former friends – if he went on the shop floor these days they’d give the twat a mop and bucket cause he’s fuck all use for anything else.

  379. 379

    He never played with the girls, down in the wood…..

    He’s a wanker, he’s a wanker and it’s done him no good like it bloody well should…

  380. 380

    Twas Evelyn Beatrice Hall in her biography of Voltaire – he never said it in those words, but it’s an essential element of the Social Contract.

    It doesn’t apply to the Balding Nobheads Party or anyone else who questions the approved line though….

  381. 381
    John says:

    Presumably Opik was the one left in the bar when all the “WAG target” footballers had left for the clubs.

    “Come over here my dear, milky, milky…”

  382. 382
    Anonymous says:

    Lib Dem Mike ‘Handy’ Hancock’s researcher is a Russian spook claim the Sun…

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3259735/MPs-Russian-aide-to-get-boot-in-spy-row.html

  383. 383
    Johan says:

    Lib Dem Mike ‘Handy’ Hancock’s researcher is a Russian spook claim the Sun…

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3259735/MPs-Russian-aide-to-get-boot-in-spy-row.html

  384. 384
    Archer Karcher says:

    The BBC need spearing, problem is, boy Dave is either too cowardly, stupid or incompetent to do the deed. They will destroy him in the end, no matter how hard he tries to be their ‘progressive’ pin up boy, so some good may come of it.

  385. 385
    Kat says:

    Does her shoe cupboard have mice ?

  386. 386
  387. 387
    Colonel Blimp says:

    ROTFLMAO.

  388. 388
    Colonel Blimp says:

    +1

  389. 389
    Soho blighter says:

    There is no way dem melons are real…

  390. 390
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Saturday 7-up thread

    http://order-order.com/2010/12/04/saturday-seven-up-60/

  391. 391
    California Dreaming says:

    Lembit must be hung like a horse.

  392. 392

    No caption needed! I think the I’m a Celeb, Get Me Out of Here drum sequence would be perfect for this image… dum dum da da dum da dum dum dum…!

  393. 393
    Anonymous says:

    That’s easy, piece of the political action, either as advisers or prospective Tory MPs, the Tories bus in their chosen ones to nice safe seats just as Nu Lieboar dig to their favourites.

  394. 394
    Anonymous says:

    Now then, no free advertising allowed on this blog, go to a gay dating site

  395. 395
    Cynic says:

    built for comfort not for speed

  396. 396
    Dave Spartacus says:

    So, Mr Lemsip, What first attracted you to your large-breasted blonde fiancee.. ?

  397. 397
    gildedtumbril says:

    Looks like a pair of inflatables to me.

  398. 398
    Anonymous says:

    “I do so like it when a girl slips a finger into my ring……”

  399. 399
    Ken Humphreys says:

    And now I would like to check two other sizes.

  400. 400
    Jethro says:

    “With thid thing, I tnee bed.£

  401. 401
    Jethro says:

    …or, even, “With this thing, I thee bed.”

  402. 402
    happydays says:

    Hurry up get down to asda they are rapidly selling out of petrol the local sniffers have all been round with their litre bottles filling up

  403. 403
    lembitblunkett says:

    I dont care if i do go blind

  404. 404
    Anonymous says:

    3 tits spotted in shop

  405. 405
    Rick says:

    At last you put a ring on my finger instead of my finger in your ring.

  406. 406
    Big Tony says:

    I was told he has two cocks.


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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