December 2nd, 2010

1% of Tory Election Expenditure Went on Bambi Killing

Going through the £16 million the Tories spent on the election Guido had to laugh when he came across a bill for nearly £30,000 for a dinner at Annabel’s in the Tories’ declared election expenditure, but Return Three is the gift that just keeps giving:

The Carphone Warehouse boss and intriguing donor David Ross donated £40,000 for “shooting” as an auction prize at a fund-raising dinner and billionaire Richard Caring donated another £140,000 worth of shooting. As they were given away as auction prizes the cost had to be factored into notional election spending. Of the total £16,682,874 the Tories spent, some 1% on this:

Brings a tear to your eye…


  1. 1
    CallMeDaveCameron says:

    What’s the problem with a good old fashioned hunt? It was to give one practice for shooting oiks and prollies.


  2. 2
    Anonymus says:

    £40,000 on shooting= 200 lithuanian girls ?


  3. 3
    Gordon Brown says:

    If England win the bin, it’ll be because of me.


  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So they might repeal the hunting act then ???


  5. 6
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So they are scarpping the hunting ban then ???


  6. 7
    Robert Peston's peyote supplier says:

    Let’s hope England’s World Cup bidders dribble into the box and SHOOT.

    Sorry – I’ll get me fapping-sock.


  7. 9
    Stepney says:

    Anthropormorhic shite.


  8. 10
    Robert Peston's peyote supplier says:


  9. 11
  10. 12
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I’ll mainly be a cucumber.


    • 17
      Samuel Johnson says:

      It has been a common saying of physicians in England, that a cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing.


  11. 13
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Shooting” as a sport usually means shooting birds. Deer are stalked or, in the USA, hunted.


  12. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    are the tory party in debt like labour , Well not like labour but in debt ?


  13. 16
    Gordon Brown - fucking mentalist says:

    Uh, hullo.

    I’d like to wish the England world cup bid all the best.

    Uh, good bye.


  14. 18
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    I cried when i watched Bambi , Then i went to a party and bumped into Madonna …..


  15. 20
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Rumour : England out at first round


  16. 21
    I need the money says:





  17. 23
    I need the money says:

    Building contracts here I come


  18. 25
    A Gordon Brown Result? says:

    The glum faces on the England bid team suggest we’ve lost, AKA A Gordon Brown Result.


  19. 26
    Gonk says:

    Cautious phraseology there Fawkes.
    For myself I think they’re lovely, lovely people.


  20. 27
    Rat's arse says:

    They’re saying it’s bad news for the England bid. Bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  21. 28
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Stewed Bambi is nice


  22. 29
    And the winner is... says:

    Nigeria. Result brought to you by the vote count at Zanu PF headquarters.


  23. 30
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Unconfirmed : Russia 2018 Qatar 2022


  24. 31

    The New Statesman can’t get over the Lib dems going off with the Tories.
    Why? Why , don’t you like us..We’re the Labour party..the party of the left..You’re MUST love us?

    A transcript from Gordon and Nick’s own speed dating session.

    Clegg says ..
    “Want to know why we Lib Dems don’t like you? Do you really want to know..”

    “Yeah..I mean we’re all progressive and like, equality and stuff..and green..”

    “OK..You wanted it. You are the worst party we know. You shafted Paddy Ashdown when you no longer needed his help. You did over the voters on boundary changes and electoral reform. You ponce about, saying you are the party of peace and free love and CND, like some ageing,mind-melted hippy, yet you went around starting a ton of wars and then tried to pretend that they would have happened anyway, and it wasn’t really your fault. You get all high and mighty about everyone going to university, yet allowed their degrees to become so dumbed down that now a 2:2 is like an NVQ. Except it costs about £10k to get. You like to say “Oh..we are SOOOO Liberal, yet you wanted to imprison people for 90 days without trial. Why? To make you look tough. That was the only reason. Macho big dickery bullshit.

    You pay for nothing. You sponge off the taxpayers using the ‘communications allowance’ and the “Union modernisation fund” to pay for your campaigns. You denied..flat denied..on the bible, hand on heart, on the eyes of my children,..denied there was a Blair/Brown rift and then all rushed to print books about how dysfunctional those two were. to be all about ‘working class’ and ‘manufacturing’ yet how many coal mines did you re-open? How many..Can’t quite hear you…was it NONE!
    Where’s ROVER.. that’s the new kids book. Look at the pictures of this showroom kids and see if you can see ROVER GROUP that Labour promised..before an election mind.. Where’s ROVER ..In fucking India ..that’s where!
    You go about best for Britain yet you allowed 3m -5m? maybe 10 million, who the hell knows..No one kept a record.., 10 million migrant workers into the country.. British jobs for British workers? Like Cadbury’s ..
    Here poor people..why not sit on the dole? if you don’t I’ll take away you’re 10p tax threshold just to score a days worth of media headlines for my own image.
    Working class ..yeah right. like LORD KINNOCK..LORD PRESCOTT. You are the party of hypocrisy.

    And where the hell has my Post office gone? And where’s the Library? And where’s the jobs you promised? Jobs that aren’t tapping data onto a government website that no right minded f*cker is ever going to read. Maybe I’ll go to the the new Library-Post-Pub see if they’ve any jobs.. Aww.. what do you know. Smoking ban has shut them all down.
    Where’s the cafe culture you promised ?
    24 hour binge drinking..I can see that.
    Did you seriously think that after 11pm teenagers were going to sit around ordering cappuccinos? What ponce thought this would be a great recipe for success..ever cheaper beers and longer hours to drink them in. Never mind. Stick 42 million CCTV cameras on poles and that will stop crime. Or not.. but at least you can watch the whole show from a control room. Rrecord it for ITV.. make a few quid to help clean up the f*ckin shambles you made of law and order. An extra 3,300 criminal offences from the ‘progressive’ party. And none of them could get you into jail. You have to not only kill someone but cut off their ears and stick them over your own and film it all on youtube before a magistrate will even look at the case.

    And your pretence at being green? Filling a field with useless windmills isn’t being green. Its being a dick.
    “Oh 80% of our energy will be green by 2040″
    Really? How’s that going to happen? Carbon capture? A technology that doesn’t even exist is going to sort it out? Why not dilithium crystals or sonic screwdriver power..You dumbass.
    Any dick head can say 1 million new homes will be built. Oh i forget..a dick head did say that. You did. That and a laptop for every home. You announced that four times. And 20 meg broadband..Where is this stuff Gordon? Still in your ‘dividing lines’ scrambled brain.
    After 12 years of not building any houses ..suddenly it was the new plan to win votes. Like no cuts…Lets not even go onto health and the chronic overspending on administrators and the pointless bureaucracy or MRSA, Bird flu hysteria, cancer rates.. the end of GP out of hours…

    And the economy.. The number one failure of ‘responsible government’. personally set up a regulatory system that envisaged no black clouds. Just perpetual sunny days..forever.The result?..The biggest deficit in the history of the nation. And then you had the brazen balls to say it was Obama’s fault?


    And you know what else. You personally are boring. Really,really boring. And you smell.

    And Clegg gets up and leaves.

    Gordon’s Nokia rings. “How’d it go?” asks Mandy.
    “Hmmm.. Well..up & down. But better than I thought it would..”


  25. 32
    Engineer says:

    Venison pie. Yum yum.


  26. 34
    Here we go says:



  27. 36
    Just as we expected says:

    We’ve lost! OK, let’s get back to taking the piss out of Labour and Gordon Brown.


    • 56
      No World Cup for England - Curse of Cameruin says:

      That’s right, because both are still fucking the country up, aren’t they.


  28. 37
    WTF does the PA know FFS says:

    We fucked it then ??


  29. 38
    cheche says:

    Its the BBC wot lost it


  30. 42
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I blame Mossad !!!!!


  31. 43
    Gordon Brown says:

    I like to play foot with my ball.


  32. 44
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Just get on with it !!!!!!


  33. 47
    I need a piss says:

    Tell me what happens


  34. 49
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    FFS !!!!


  35. 50
    Dack Blog says:

    This is like having to listen to a retirement speech when you’re gagging to go home. Cut to the chase, man!


  36. 51
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Stich up !!!!!


  37. 52
    The BBC Panorama lost it for us says:

    Let’s bomb Putin’s mansion.


    • 66
      No World Cup for England - Curse of Cameruin says:

      Booo hisss BBC. How dare they try to expose corruption. We should just beg for good vassals to the international criminal gangsters for bread crumbs from their table.


  38. 53
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    the russians get there revenge !!!!


  39. 54
    Dack Blog says:

    So Putin didn’t go because he knew there was no need then.


  40. 55
    I need the money says:



  41. 58
    I need a piss says:

    Fair-dos. That Russian pole-vaulter was better looking than Becks/Wills/Dave put together.


  42. 59
    Damien Cameron says:



  43. 60
    Guido Tweet says:


  44. 61
    Damien Cameron says:

    I see cock head Cameron wasnt at the presentation….. git


    • 73
      Marmite says:

      Damien. Damien, Damien, Mr Cameron is the Prime Minister, not friggin Alex Ferguson! By the way, are you Damien McBride, ’cause you sound very like it.


      • 90
        Damien Cameron says:

        Marmite…. you dont get the joke do you – Damien ( The Omen ). I recommend Omen III, check it out, thats your boy Cameron.


  45. 62
    The BBC Panorama lost it for us says:

    The Russian women in the delegation have cracking legs. That was our mistake. Should have sent Emily Blunt and Holly Willoughby for the bid.


  46. 65

    Какой ужасный результат для нас – And I mean that!!


  47. 67
    Realist says:

    WGAF? We don’t have the money to waste on it anyway.


  48. 69
    Roman Abramovich says:

    I told you all that David Cameron is a Hoon

    Never have I seen such a waste of space as David Cameron


  49. 70
    Anonymous says:

    thank you BBC, thank you Panorama, Thank you Birmingham fans
    Three good reasons why we lost

    apart from the fact the reds had bigger bungs


    • 85
      screw the lot of them - including Birmingham says:

      Couldn’t agree more!

      Fuck FIFA and the world cup.


    • 87
      Damien Cameron says:

      Errrrrr I think you will find it was Villa fans….who The Cock purports to be a fan of. Villa relegated this season – The Cameron Curse !!!!!!


  50. 72
    2022 says:

    Who ??????????????


  51. 77
    The BBC Panorama lost it for us says:

    So the 2022 World Cup (or 222 according to Sepp Blatter) will be held by ragheads.


  52. 77
    Lord Ashcroft says:

    What the fuck is wrong with David Cameron ?

    He can’t win a General Election outright and now he screws up our bid to host the 2018 World Cup

    Oy Vey


  53. 81
    Derek Smalls says:

    On a practical note guys: The world won’t be here in 2018.


  54. 82
    Damien Cameron says:

    You Blue nose twats don’t get it at all. Cameron is a cursed jinks.

    After all that has happened… HE STILL DIDNT “””WIN””” the election

    He is surrounded by death.

    He’s been a coalition PM for less than 6 months, and we have had riots, loads of strikes, 20+ U-Turns, and now this.

    PS…. Keep linking The Cursed one to Thatcher ( NOT A GOOD IDEA – BELIEVE ME !!!!!! )

    PSS….. Isn’t the Cursed one also an Aston Villa fan – how ironic


  55. 86

    They’re literally ‘bloody,’ aren’t they?

    Some of us will fight them for as long as we live. We know where they live.


  56. 88
    Dack Blog says:

    Well. Once they’ve paid their SA trip off, football fans everywhere (else… ie most of ‘em) can start saving to go to Russia and Qatar.


    • 91
      Dack Blog says:

      And the oil-producing victorious nations can flog us the fuel.


    • 106
      Anonymous says:

      When the fuck are they going to play in Qatar? Between April and September the daytime temp is above 100 so unless every game is at night which it won’t be because of gobal TV rights then there’s going to be some frazzled players out there.


  57. 92
    Damien ( The Omen ) Cameron says:

    I bet Dave had his Coulson speech all ready….bless


  58. 95
    Dack Blog says:

    Can we have our football back please, mister?


  59. 97
    Bongo Cornholio says:

    Nobody looks at Holly Willoughbys legs.


  60. 98
    Jonah says:



  61. 100
    Major Eyeswater says:

    so corrupt tossers choose to stage corrupt tosser fest in corrupt tosser land. Corrupt tosser in chief doesn’t even bother to show up cos he knows all the corrupt tossers votes have been stitched up by corrupt tosser mates of his.


  62. 102
    Glass half full with somethin says:

    You read it ?? Respect for admitting you wiggle your nose in Murdoch’s huge, smelly arse crack.


  63. 103
    DANGER says:

    Keep up you Americanised oiks!

    Shooting = birds, with a shotgun
    Stalking = deer, with a rifle
    Hunting = anything, with scent hounds
    Coursing = anything, with sight hounds


  64. 104
    Leslie Nielsen says:

    Oh deer.


  65. 105
    lucasvanleyden says:

    I can,t but think that the only major cut this country needs is circumcision to Cameron from the neck up, pulling the skin from the back of his head and stitched to the front, thus covering that hideous smug face and preventing speech


  66. 108
    Houdini says:

    Don’t talking fucking shite.

    40k or 140k is easy to spend on some decent shooting days, but not for stalking deer. It would be for grouse, at 200quid a brace, or even pheasant or partridge this year is 30quid, plus vat.

    You’re pretty ill informed for someone who likes to give other shit for being ill informed.


  67. 114
    Breadcrumbs & Batter says:

    Old ‘Fish Finger Ross’ is still around then!


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