December 1st, 2010

David Davis Takes Liberty Award

Ephraim Hardcastle draws to Guido’s attention that there is an innocent explanation for the Shami and Basher late night Tuesday over-the-candles chat. Liberty had given David Davis their “Independent Voice of the Year” Human Rights Award on Monday. So Basher would have seen Shami two nights in a row…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    A lkove story ???? so sweet

  2. 2
    Billy Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    Did you post this one from the pub , Fawkes? Genius.

  3. 3
    tiscali says:

    No wonder. Have you see the state of Basher’s wife.

  4. 4
    Phwooar! says:

    David! Have some taste, man! There’s plenty of hotness around. Tory MP Caroline Dinneage rings my bell!

  5. 5
    Trashbin Alibi Clown says:

    Nobody fancies me! Weep!

  6. 6
    Eckky-Thump says:

    EEEH, bye gum.

  7. 7
    News of the Screws says:

    Yes, but did they shag?

  8. 8
    Jeremy Vine's left bollock says:

    Just heard her bleating on about something or other on R2.

  9. 9
    Lt Frank Drebin, Police Squad says:

    Like a blind man at an orgy, I was gonna have to feel my way through.

  10. 10
    Holborn Viaduct says:

    Ha! Don’t be fooled. Guido uses the term ‘going to the pub for a pint’ as a euphemism for ‘going to my bedroom to crack a tinny’.

  11. 11
    EPHRAM HARDCORE(what sort of fuckin name is that)? says:

    Yes! Yes!
    But did he get his leg over?
    or did he end up “Bashing it”?

  12. 12
    Mr Plum says:

    Any relation to fred

  13. 13

    Chakrabarti……..i would.

  14. 14
    Tessa Tickles's Image Consultancy LLP says:

    Here you go, dear, you’ll be fighting them off from now on.

  15. 15
    Leslie Nielsen RIP says:

  16. 16

    Is ‘crack a tinny’ a euphemism for having a wank…?

  17. 17
    Asian Affairs Correspondent says:

    All such enquiries should be addressed to Ms Shakrabootis representative at the Max Clifford Institute of Applied Whopper Telling – Mr Basha Hassan Shagda

  18. 18
    EPHRAM HARDCORE(what sort of fuckin name is that)? says:

  19. 19
    Roddy Martindale says:

    Is this blog ‘Hello Magazine’ or what ?

  20. 20
    Ephraim Hardcastle says:

    Thanks for the plug, Guido. I knew I had a reader out there somewhere.

    E x

  21. 21
    Mindbleach! says:


  22. 22
    Old dog no tricks says:

    Gorgeous lookin’ 10 pinter (and 3 Sambuka’s) I’d say !

  23. 23
    Jay says:

    Come on, Fawkes. A non-story. Who cares.

  24. 24
  25. 25
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    A german bloke just said that Germany not being able to sell its bonds is like seeing a penguin on the equator.

    Funny that, because there are penguins that live on the equator.

  26. 26
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So Germans cant sell there bonds ?

  27. 27
    Sarah Beeny says:

    Nothing a bit of Polyfilla couldn’t deal with. Some of the fittings look original.

  28. 28
    I, literally, died laughing says:

    What so funny about that?

  29. 29
    I, literally, died laughing says:

    Surely, he was one of the funniest people ever.

  30. 30
  31. 31
    regular as cockwork says:

    Billy Bowden had a wank,
    He did it in a septic tank,
    When he came back,
    His Y fronts stank,
    Silly Billy Bowden.

  32. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I wonder if Gordon was watching who got the nokia chucked at em ?

  33. 33
    a finger of fudge says:

    No, their penguins you stupid cuпt.

  34. 34
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Are DD and Shami both single ?

  35. 35
    Hello, is it me you're looking for? says:

    Ooh ‘ello.

  36. 36
    Statute of liberty says:

    So Davis was taking a Liberty?

  37. 37
    CON 40%, LAB 40%, LDEM 10%. says:

    Dave won at PMQ’s.Like Hague did so often and then lost.

  38. 38
    Mr Plum says:

    They might melt on the equator

  39. 39
    Mr Plum says:

    No not Jim Davison as well

  40. 40
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    There was an undersubscribed bond issue.

    Oh, and the bloke is Dutch.

  41. 41
    Thatcher thinks Dave is a twat says:

    Baroness Thatcher delivered a damning verdict on “boring” David Cameron.
    The former Conservative PM confided that she has serious doubts about the party leader’s ability to deliver victory.
    In frank conversations with her close confidant and former Tory grandee Lord Tim Bell, Lady Thatcher dubbed Cameron “boring” and “still out of touch with the British public”.

    Not bad.

  42. 42
    Who will Osborne bail out next with our money ? says:

  43. 43
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Yes , But dave and william where up against blair , who love him or hate him was quite good at PMQS ( I fuckin hate him ) , Ed however is proper shit !

  44. 44

    Jesus H Christ !

    is going to carry on fighting ?
    he should be charged under the trades description act
    this tosser has never had a fight yet
    my granny would kick his arse and she’s dead
    give it up now you fucking embarassment !

    the british boxing board of control should withdraw his licence
    before somebody die’s
    of fuckin boredom

  45. 45
    Environmental Money spinning sham! says:

    O/T. Crap summer, really cold winter. Exactly when is this Global warming malarky going to happen?
    Sooner or later people will wake up to this environmental bullsh*t and realise they are being mugged left, right and centre by the eco-fascists who are laughing all the way to the bank with tax payers money.

  46. 46
    Kim Jong-Il says:


  47. 47
    David Haye says:

    No you cant !

  48. 48
    Pingu says:

    It’s bloody hot here

  49. 49
    mugwump says:

    Gawd save us: if these two have got the hots for each other then good luck to them. Leave them alone. A little bit of lurve (good luck to those lucky enough to get some ) does anyone a power of good especially especially midst all the gloom and doom of this God awful Winter.

  50. 50
    Wavy Davy Bullingdon Gravy Loves to eat his Greens says:

    Mr Cameron said: “If you want to understand climate change, go and see Al Gore’s film, An Inconvenient Truth.

  51. 51
    HARD MAN HAGUE says:

    william hague murdered blair every time they met
    you could see blair squirming
    as if he wanted to punch hague

    but hague would have battered
    blair coz he is hard

  52. 52
    Mr Plum says:


  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    they don’t

    it’s complete horseshit

  54. 54
    Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Croquet, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

    I’m just off to Cancun on all expenses paid jolly on the subject of Global Warming.

    Shall I send you a postcard ??

  55. 55
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    at least he aint a bum bandit .

  56. 56
    Mike Hunt says:

    Yep, his daughter.

  57. 57
    Sir William Waad says:

    It’s not just the eco-fascists now. Big business is seriously in favour of the kind of gargantuan transfers of funds from the productive people of the world that Governments try to agree in places like Cancun. Thus, California’s Proposition 23 was opposed by business interests that funded the successful campaign against it. The possibility of carbon trading made the stripy-shirt brigade wet themselves with anticipation, although so far it’s flopped and aforesaid shirts have been lost.

    ‘Alternative energy’ remains financially non-sustainable and reliant on huge public subsidy. Follow the money; global warming is popular with capitalists because it is a great big payola.

  58. 58
    David Davis says:

    She seems to have an invisible touch yeah

  59. 59

    I’m aware Dave is a twat, i was surprised he managed to better Ed Millimong, that’s all.
    Please don’t get the impression i like Cameron – he is a traitorous c*nt.

  60. 60
    Anonymus says:

    Next tuesday.

  61. 61
    Choking Hazard says:

    mmm . . . we’ve heard he can be hard.

  62. 62
    Engineer says:

    Well that’s Global Warming for you. First the polar bears, then the penguins.

  63. 63
    Mr Plum says:

    Watch him make a pot

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    David Davis would have been a good PM, he might have even got a majority.

  65. 65
    The Beast of grievance says:

    Guido just saw your sordid money lending ad
    Friday will do and its more than £750 and I I chare a higher rate of APR

  66. 66
    Marmite says:

    Are you trying to give me a heart attack ‘trashbin’? Clicked on your link and had to have my GTN!

  67. 67

    They can’t sell their penguins…..?

  68. 68
    Marmite says:

    Sorry Tessa, she still makes me fart!

  69. 69
    Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Croquet, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

  70. 70
    Brokeback Cameron says:

    And that’s why he can’t be in my cabinet.

  71. 71
    YokshireLad says:

    Whatever are you suggesting Guido? :)

  72. 72
    Maximus says:

    Clever double insult from Dave the Cameraman. Even Socialist World at One were moaning about him getting the better of poor little Red Ed.

  73. 73
    Engineer says:

    Morning or afternoon?

  74. 74
    Cowboy Surgeon says:

    He has had six months to rehearse that line.

  75. 75
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    I bumped into Shami at a party once …….

  76. 76
    Evie Lennon says:

    OK ‘Thatcher,,,,,,,,,,blahdeblah………’ admit it! You’re either Ed B@ll@cks or Tom Watson aren’t you?

  77. 77
    A Sweet Old Lady says:

    What a nice young man David is. Congratulations.

  78. 78
    Mr Plum says:

    How many tonnes of co2 does it take to fly that tub of lard all the way to mexico

  79. 79
    Diane Fatbutt's son says:

    Oh my days! Innit, blud?!

  80. 80
    Dudley Muggins says:

    I have been invited to a Scottish Christmas Ball, what should I expect?

  81. 81
    Anonymus says:


    Make sure you have your wellingtons and a rubber boat.
    Disclaimer: I am in no way involved in the manufacture or retailing of these items, or any rubber goods or clothing.

  82. 82
    The wrong Kind of cold snap says:

    Some Twat on the daily Politics show said this cold spell was a result of man made Global warming.

  83. 83
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ll be sitting on each guest’s face.

  84. 84
    Anonymus says:

    its ok.
    Mr. Prescott himself is in fact a major sink of the worlds carbon.

  85. 85
    Sally-ho ! says:

    Blair was ‘hard’ when it came to issuing death sentences. God comes across as a pussy next to Tone.

  86. 86
    Gordon Brown says:

    You know i saved the world , Well for my next act i will win England the Ashes .

    Dear Team Austraila

    May i wish you a crushing victory over England .

    Gordon Brown

  87. 87
    Kim Jong-Il says:

    It is all bullshit designed to screw tax money out of us and to make profits to large multinationals trading carbon permits.

    We stand for it every time.

  88. 88
    Dudley Muggins says:

    I would prefer a McDonalds Quarter Pounder

  89. 89
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Can we just kill politicions at birth ?

  90. 90
    Engineer says:

    Do rubber goods or clothing protect against Global Warming, then? Sounds dodgy to me. And sweaty.

  91. 91
    fuck them all says:

    Fuck off back to Uganda.

    Fuck off!

  92. 92
    Nothing to see here... move along please... says:

    Classic displacement activity.

  93. 93
    Engineer says:

    Good idea, but how do we tell which babies are going to grow into politicians?

  94. 94
    Alibaba Brown says:

    I’m being picked on again, its racist, not fair and….

  95. 95
    Kevin Maguire calls for Gordon to bribe FIFA official with a PM ship says:

    Kevin Maguire has sunk into a deep madness. He want’s Dave to take Gordon to Zurich so that he can help out in Dave’s bid to get the World cup for England.

    1) Gordon is a Jinx
    2) Gordon is a Jock

    Even more shocking Kevin writes:

    “Brown knows more about the game than most of Fifa’s ­decision-makers. And he’s on good terms with Jack Warner, an ambitious Caribbean fixer who would love to be PM of Commonwealth country Trinidad & Tobago.”

    This would be the corrupt Jack Warner who is on the take?

  96. 96
    Shami says:


  97. 97
    Engineer says:

    Have a quick grope under a few kilts and you might find one.

  98. 98
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    its only a little detail , Start with union fat cats and reps , Then random 5 out of ten that have there names for Eton etc

  99. 99
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Nurse !!!!!!!!!!

  100. 100

    I think ‘homely’ is the best description – i’m sure she’s a lovely woman.

  101. 101

    The ‘666’ tattoo behind the ear.

  102. 102
    Handbrake turn says:

    It also looks like Dave’s U turn on school sports funding anounced at PMQs today is to strengthen England’s bid for the FIFA world cup.

  103. 103
    Engineer says:

    How about a more scientific test? If a baby will only suckle on one nipple, it’s likely to be either Left or Right, and probably has political leanings. If it happily suckles on both nipples, it’s probably more balanced, so should be spared.

  104. 104
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    HMMMMMMM intresting …………………

  105. 105
    Anonymus says:

    OK you got me.
    I am one of the world’s largest producers of talcum powder.

  106. 106
    AC1 says:

    +1 Even if you do post as an anonymong.

  107. 107
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    As red Ed is a socialist , does that mean we already know his polices ?

  108. 108
    AC1 says:

    More like seeing a Black Swan…

  109. 109
    Cameron McSpreader says:

    Expect endless eightsome reels, kids looking up your skirt and giggling at your sporran, and a huge bar bill. I assume you are English?

  110. 110
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    David Davis?

    Is he not one of those “Old Conservatives”?

    No wonder we do not see much of him around Team Dave.

    PS – Mr Davis, come over to UKIP with the rest of the “Old” Tories.

  111. 111
    HARD MAN HAGUE says:

    That just confirms
    why they cal;l him toilets

  112. 112
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    So another hoon robbing our children to support his vanity on the world stage?

    He really is the heir to Blair.

  113. 113
    AC1 says:

    I would say rent-seekers rather than capitalists (but that’s just me).

  114. 114
    Martin Day says:

    You used to be the future once Guido .

  115. 115
    Oily Vazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz says:

    More liberties taken by some of our beloved MP’s. No names just the 1’574 claims that have been rejected by the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority.

    £116,359 worth of claims denied.

    One MP asked for £338 for a shredder, while another tried to claim £1,057 for advertising and a third requested £1,085 for ‘contingencies’.

    I think we need to know the names of all these troughers.

  116. 116
    HARD MAN HAGUE says:

    If anyone can “Pull it Off” Dave can !

  117. 117
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    Relax, no-one watches that rubbish.

  118. 118
    Wouldn't dare put a name to this comment says:

    Yep. Read the Tory manifesto.

  119. 119
    Julian Assange says:

    Where’s a Wikileak when you need one?

  120. 120
  121. 121
    Engineer says:

    Martin Day, however, has always been the past.

  122. 122
    AC1 says:

    Write taxpayer on the boob and if it suckles on that one post-partum abortion time.

  123. 123
    Al R*pist Gore says:

    Don’t forget the Global Warming, cocksucking limeys!

  124. 124
    HARD MAN HAGUE says:

    For main course
    a Pigs bladder filled with sawdust and dog shit
    known in your parts as haggis
    and a glass of fermented rats piss or whiskey, to wash away the taste
    but pudding should be a treat for you
    it’s a fried mars bar

  125. 125
    AC1 says:

    He’s a progressive. That means he wants us to return to a non-existent utopian past.

  126. 126
    The Revereng Green, in the Conservatory with the rope says:

    I would join UKIP if they had more ‘body’. Conservatism is in danger of dying out.

  127. 127
    Confucius he says:

    The future is somewhat overrated.

  128. 128
    Charles e Hardwaffler says:

    The Tories have no zen and still havent learnt management prosess from Marx , They are creating to many millionairs and keep the poor opressed , The Tories do not grasp Graphics fiedilty and how to empower thoughful thinking with action .

  129. 129
    Madme Defarge says:

    I agree. Wouldn’t read too much into his having a nice dinner with Shami wotsits. In the real world men and women do often have nice dinners together and never get their leg over.
    Hevaen knows Madme Defarge has had many nice dinners for two with men during the course of her professional life and trust me they may be quite charming but one really wouldn’t want to exchange body fluids with them.
    But you never can tell…

  130. 130
    Gaydo's IDFblogger handler says:

    Yep, but he’s useful for the ‘Palestinians never had it so good’ shite we put through him.

  131. 131
    Engineer says:

    I think I’d prefer them tattood ‘Mild’ and ‘Bitter’.

  132. 132
    Barmy Army says:

    Guido give us a wave Guido Guido give us a wave .

  133. 133
    Al the r*pist Gore says:

    I did not have r*pe with that woman!

  134. 134
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have built a big snowman. Nursie helped. Then I built a lot of tiny snow people. I call them Me and My Cabinet.

  135. 135
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    As I read the words I heard his voice, & saw him in the snow with nursey.

    Uncannily, it rings true.

  136. 136
    Méfiez-vous des Geeks portant GIFs says:

    Guido’s Live PMQs chat up here – now off to London for some beers!

  137. 137
    HARD MAN HAGUE says:

    Always liked that David Davis
    best football comentater the bbc ever had

  138. 138
    David Cameron says:

    The futures fucked , Oh well , Tally ho

  139. 139
    Mr. Brown, in the billiard balls with the boot says:

    Agreed, but how do we persuade the undead electorate to vote for a novelty party? They don’t like change, do they?

  140. 140
    guardian reader/bbc watcher says:

    Errrr no way

    David Cameron ran on an extreme right-wing platform of privatising the NHS, leaving the EU, defending civil liberties and cutting public spending. This was the reason he failed to win a majority. Had he been more moderate, ie adopting Labour party policies, he might have won. His market fundamentalist approach is now undoing the glorious economic legacy left by Labour and will cause Cameron to be defeated at the next election.

  141. 141
    NURSEY says:

    Well done Gordon
    today you have learnt something
    You may not be able to polish turds
    but you can polish snowmen !

    now let’s get you out of that wet nappy !

  142. 142
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Stupid girl, there are many here who think the same way as CP, me included and guess what? None of us, unlike Cameron, are EUphile socialists.

  143. 143
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    One word answer? Yes.

  144. 144
    Dale (Mrs) says:

    I’m the future.

  145. 145
    Carry Hole says:

    No, I’M the future

  146. 146
    Angela Eagle says:

    Squeak, whine, squeak, whine.

  147. 147
    Hefferlite says:

    I live in the past and very comforting it is. This weblog is rather vulgar and grammatically inferior. PAH!

  148. 148
    Dizzy says:

    Err. Which way is the future?

  149. 149
    Enjineer says:

    I don’t think the shredder is neccessarily unreasonable.

  150. 150
    Anonymous says:

    And now Dave is licking the as of pro EU LD. Dave was going to control immigration, tough on criminals, etc. Nothing happened.

    As far as I remember Dave was never anti EU, he was pro as Clagg.

  151. 151
    Guido says:

    **Limp-wristed flap of hand in general direction of window-licker**

  152. 152
    mong watch says:

    +1 even if you are a septic neocon fuckwit

  153. 153
    Wavy Davy Bullingdon Gravy Loves to eat his Greens says:

    Mr Cameron said: “If you want to understand climate change, go and see Al Gore’s film, An Inconvenient Truth.

  154. 154
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Not entirely true – he was one of the best deadpan deliverers of funny lines written by someone else.

    That aside, RIP Leslie – the original ‘Airplane!’ was/is the funniest film ever.

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:

    Compared with other politicians David Davis has always seemed human and a realist. No one can say he came from a privileged background, unlike most of the Shadow Cabinet.

  156. 156
    Lil Olmey says:

    ‘Rent-seekers’ – looking for a tear in the ozone layer, perhaps ?

  157. 157
    The undead Electorate says:

    We much prefer folding.

  158. 158
    T Petty says:

    The future ain’t what it used to be.

  159. 159
    J Tull says:

    Can I interest you in my design for a seed drill ?

  160. 160

    Never forget POLICE SQUAD !

  161. 161
    SaltPetre says:

    She looks like a dinner lady !

  162. 162
    SaltPetre says:

    She would be OK if you put a bag over her head…or did it in the dark!

  163. 163
    one up the bum no harm done says:

    I bet gayboy hague has this on constant replay for cherished private moments

Seen Elsewhere

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Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Tory MEP Promised Bashir Investigation | Scrapbook
Stop May Pact | Times

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George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

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