November 30th, 2010

Where’s Billy?™ : Rifkind Revisited

Hillary Clinton said in her presser yesterday that “a counterpart” told her “well, don’t worry about it, you should hear what we say about you…” An interesting line, clearly from a native English speaker in its idiomatic use of “well” and “don’t worry about it”, which is bordering on slang. No one with English as a second language, however fluent, would ever come up with a line like that. Add a barbed sense of humour and the fingers are pointing at William Hague.

Talking of Hague, Guido isn’t the only one to have noticed that in the past few days former Foreign Secretary Malcolm Rifkind has been put on Sky News, BBC News, BBC Radio 2, 4, 5 and Channel Four speaking about Wikileaks and other foreign policy issues. It’s almost as if the current Foreign Secretary has been sidelined and a new spokesman found. Guido can’t think why Hague might not want to hit the airwaves to discuss why the Americans were featuring his personal life in their intelligence dossiers. Rifkind seems well on top of the brief still and would be high up the list of likely candidates for the job, were a vacancy to arise…

UPDATE: Paul Waugh questions why Hague isn’t representing the UK on the international stage in Kazakhstan tomorrow.


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Maybe his wife has problems ?


  2. 2
    I used to vote Conservative but then Dave took over says:

    “Guido can’t think why Hague might not want to hit the airwaves to discuss why the Americans were using his personal life in their intelligence dossiers.”

    Because Hague’s probably a kweer?


  3. 3
    jgm2 says:

    Probably in the ST*n making a hush-hush visit to the troops.

    Section D.


  4. 5
    Dazza says:

    Big Willy? A poof? Never.


  5. 7

    I reckon the CIA have got pictures of Hague hanging out the back of a chloroformed homnast…


  6. 8
    Popeye says:

    Hague is a potential threat to the “Eton Mafia”! Not one of us you know!


    • 67
      Twat Watch says:

      Yes the last thing we want is someone intelligent, articulate and witty to represent the UK. Someone more Media friendly perhaps. Margaret Beckett?


      • 100
        Lord Haw Haw says:

        Maggy Beckett never went abroad as she preferred caravanning in North Yorkshire were as Billy Harg prefers a cottage.


  7. 9
    Eckky-Thump says:

    EEE by gum , lad. As we say in Yorkyshire.


  8. 11
    Johnny says says:

    You’re assuming the counterpart told her that in English. All it would need is a translator who is a native English speaker to get the language right.


    • 34
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Its not a particularly good point either.

      A non-native speaker of english could easily have picked up a few odd expressions in English if they’ve actually spent time (esp as students etc.) in a country. Or perhaps off TV if they’ve watched a lot of subtitled stuff.


  9. 12
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Maybe he is at Mossad HQ for briefing ?


  10. 13
    MARK OATEN (Shit Breath to my friends) says:

    Why does Vince Cable always look like he is snorting shit ?


  11. 16
    Three's a crowd says:

    I didn’t know Ian had a brother
    but when asked where William Hague was
    Tory party HQ said
    “He’s up the Dales”


    • 71
      Deep Who says:

      Funny as fuck. You should be on telly. Beheading on Al Jazeera preferably


      • 90
        GEOFF HOON 07796938196 says:

        beheading who exactly ?


        • 102
          Frank Randle says:

          For those who live below the River Don “beheading” is an ancient Yorkshire dialect word for “fellatio”.


          “Thou must be a reet kweer bogger forever b’heading nancy-boys in Lundun when thee cud be at ‘ome tupping thy missis! If yo’ don’t fancy ‘er can I ‘ave a bit of what she’s sitting on Serry?”


  12. 20
    Donkeyscrump says:

    “Well, don’t worry about it,you should hear what we have to say about you cu*ts”

    Definitely British,possibly southern England.Not so sure it is William Hague.
    Boris Johnson more like.


  13. 22
    nell says:

    Well it might be a little more complex than that.

    William has proved that he is capable of earning large sums of money outside of parliament. He didn’t exactly join the current govt , or become foreign secretary, with huge enthusiasm. His wife certainly doesn’t hold any interest in politics.

    It could be that william himself, is in the throes of deciding to give up politics and go off and earn better money elsewhere without the constant controversies and press intrusion.

    malcolmrifkind for foreignsecretary hmmm?? Well I guess he’s better than davemilitwit, who was a complete deadloss.


  14. 24
    Eileen Critchley says:

    Oh! what a tangled web we weave.


  15. 25
    So what? says:

    This relentless campaign against Hague is bordering on the obsessive. So what if he’s g a y? Oh but let’s protect and defend pee do catholic priests who nonce children. The last thing we want is consenting adults having g a y sex.


  16. 26
    Anonymous says:

    The last thing on earth the Party needs is Rifkind back in the FO with Europe on the boil.Disaster!


    • 35
      I used to vote Conservative but then Dave took over says:

      No, the last thing the party needs is a pro-EU liar in charge of it, handing over tens of billions of our borrowed money at a time when we’re br*oke.

      That would be the last thing the party – and Britain – needs.


  17. 30
    Sir William Waad says:

    Perhaps Mr Hague has become locked in a cupboard at home and nobody can find a way to get him out of the closet.


  18. 31
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ok Guido , Lets just say he is batting for the home team and having a affair , Better than fiddling expenses , He is fuckin someone else not the taxpayer .Not the first MP and wont be the last , I aint got nothing against shit stabbers what 2 consenting adults do in private is there own buisness .


  19. 39
    Chris uncut Bryant says:

    There he goes again, the Pikey is once more obsessing about homos, to the point of juvenile innuendo.

    They have homos in Pikeyland dont they? or do they spend all day begging instead of buggering?

    I wonder if juvenile sexual innuendo that was the fare of the day when this blog first started.


  20. 40
    Anonymous says:

    Hague has not been in the country. H.M. the Queen has been on state visits in the Gulf where Hague had to be in attendance. That is why he has not been on the airways.


  21. 44
    McDoomed says:

    When the gunman took 24 kids hostage in a school in Wisconsin yesterday, I was sure it would turn out that Brown had visited the school last year. All the students were released unharmed and the gunman shot himself and is now in hospital. Obviously Brown never visited the school.


  22. 45
    Anonymous says:

    He can stay there!


  23. 48
    Billy bum bot hague says:

    I’ll use th’ tradesmans entrance


  24. 50
    I hate New Labour says:

    What’s the betting the terrorist alert is raised this week?

    Just, y’know, to distract the horde…


  25. 54

    Wikileaks has been a release of the blindingly obvious.
    African’s are a bit corrupt? Who’d a thought it.
    Chinese think north Korea is a rouge!
    Israel not keen on Iran…

    If the wiki bloke hasn’t got some decent dirt on Wagner Fiuza-Carrilho or the Beckham affairs or ‘Dubya’ shooting an aide and burying him under the lawns of the Whitehouse he should just shut his hole.

    I’ve seen better ‘breaking news’ in the Daily Express. And when you think how unlikely that is, it shows what a snoozefest wikileaks has been.


    • 74
      Sir William Waad says:

      La Corée du Nord, un État rouge? Mais évidemment….


    • 79
      Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my disk? says:

      If only there was some commercially available software you could deploy to prevent use of removable media…

      Oh wait, there is.

      I guess they just weren’t bothered enough about their security to use it.


  26. 58
    Chris Myers says:

    Yes sir, I can booooooooooooooogie, I can boooooooogie all night looooooooooong.


  27. 62
    Eh says:

    Think your link’s a bit messed up Guido


  28. 63
    GORDON McBUST says:

    Looks like after all this shit with these scruffy bastard students
    that call me dave will be defeated when it goes before the house !
    promise everything
    deliver nothing
    labour will vote against it
    most lib dumbs will vote against it
    some tories will vote against it
    it’s not what is right for the country
    it is how can i hang on to my seat
    and keep fleecing the taxpayer for at least another four years
    dirty scruffy students and labour scum WIN !
    Dave (no balls) Cameron LOSE


    • 77
      nell says:

      Are you talking about those poor little dears, 13 years old and upwards who went to london this morning for a student demo, and got lost?

      I felt really sorry for them. They ended up in cold straggled little lumps in all different parts of london, waving soggy posters and looking awfully sad. Didn’t know anything about the real student proposals, but then what d’ya expect of 13 year olds. nus was really dragging the barrel wasn’t it??!!

      Where was aaron porter, I thought he was supposed to be showing how the nus is superior at organisting good demos.

      Bet he was hiding in the beeb news studio in the warm.


      • 82
        Blimey says:

        He wants to keep safe ready for his time as a labour MP. Meanwhile he urges on the useful idiots to help bring down the coalition.


      • 88
        Dack Blog says:

        I doubt the 13 year olds are in the NUS nell. Speaking as one who thinks we should halve degree places and fund them properly, I am at least heartened that some of the students I teach are talking ‘politics’. Anyway, many of the younger students are talking about the shorter term loss of the EMA rather than degree funding.


        • 98
          Anonymous says:

          Fuck ‘em. If they’re not prepared to put a penny towards their future then why the fuck should I !


      • 89
        Dack Blog says:

        Jeez modded for what?


  29. 64

    Why is Vince Cable voting against himself?
    I fear he may have a bit of dementia, the poor old soul.
    I think he has confused ‘being progressive’ with ‘being a Dick.’

    Is it time he joined Gordon in the ‘special’ cabinet?
    If we all chipped in I think we could him into that same house where the furniture is all bolted to the floor. They could do PMQs together.


  30. 68
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    Dear Gentlemen and err Ladies

    I would like to take this moment to err I think the word was ‘offer’ yes offer you the chance to pre-order purchase my new book;

    ‘Beyond the Crash: Overcoming the First Crisis of Globalisation By Gordon Brown’

    For the reasonable price of £10.60 that is a saving of £9.40 (47%) just in time for Christmas, so you may understand that I was the right man for the job, continue to be the right man for the job and have presented my vision on why you and the world should agree so too.

    Thank You

    Gordon Brown


  31. 75
    Doggie In The Window says:



  32. 78
    Crikey says:

    According to wikileaks Broon tried to do a deal with the Americans on the McKinnon case. It wasn’t successful of course and his extradition is still being sought. Did McKinnon’s advisers not know better than to enlist Gordon’s help? The kiss of death.


  33. 81
    LOL Not even out yet and it's dropped almost half price already! says:

    Beyond the Crash: Overcoming the First Crisis of Globalisation

    RRP: £20.00
    Price: £10.60 & this item Delivered FREE in the UK with Super Saver Delivery. See details and conditions
    You Save: £9.40 (47%)
    Pre-order Price Guarantee


  34. 92
    Broon the Loon says:

    My next book will be The Loony Bin Trip part two. How I saved the Universe from Economic crisis and Global warming and other delusions used to tax people.


  35. 93
    Ego Warrior says:

    he’s dot a dold in ‘is dose – dese peeple don’t undertand – he stil get’s paid though


  36. 95
    sprogging for benefits says:

    I think our Billy has had enough and they will pick his time to leave.
    He is Ok as a constituency MP, cant comment on the rest


  37. 101
    AnotherAnon. says:

    William Hague has been located,he’s in Tripoli.

    Looks like we now have two William Hagues on the pay,wonder if it’s just the job they are sharing?


  38. 106
    Backbench Gardner-Biter says:

    Mr. Billy ‘no mates’ Hague, our Rt. Flaccid Foreign Member, is currently closeted in top-secret ‘backdoor’ negotiations with a team of Iranians in the Holy city of Kweerpumba, which requires all his skill and ingenuity, as finding a way to accommodate their considerably glowing ‘wheapons’ after several tumblers of claret can be the Devil’s own business, but still, apart from suffering initial interference fits, he is reportedly handling himself with all the skill of a consummate spam-juggler and has suitably impressed his hosts with an ability to phonetically quote the Prophet (pbuh) “It is more blessed to receive than to give” in Persian with his mouth full.

    Naturally, the Yanks have ordered him out to work on this critical intelligence-gathering mission to coyly burgle the DNA-databank of all the top Mullahs, so the still-steaming samples can later be retrieved from the slapptop succubus and shared with Hilary ‘cock-block’ Clintox for yet another battery of Blue-Dress spritz tests.

    Another perfect British wheeze,
    busting a gut for the Master Race,
    jizz fresh crust on his tarded face,
    Billy did his country some serveeze.
    Butt ours is not to question why,
    ours is butt to pay, and die.

    for further details –


    • 108
      Backbench Gardner-Biter says:

      pardon, Gentle Subjects, the above inadvertent Poetry Malfunction: this corrected version has just been forwarded from the US Embassy, via WikiLeaks …

      Another perfect British wheeze,
      busting a gut for the Master Race,
      love’s fresh crust on retarded face,
      Bill did a country some serveeze.
      Butt ours is not to question which,
      just guzzle cawk and shuttup, bitch!


  39. 107
    Common Sense says:

    Ever heard of Canada, Australia, Ireland or New Zealand? They are English speaking countries as well.


  40. 109
    JamesII says:

    Be vague – ask for Hague


  41. 111
    Yer Sniper says:

    Because everything Hilly says is true. Like that time she bravely ran from that plane in Bosnia…


  42. 114
    Taxfodder says:

    Most political parties seem to have a residual scum that stubbornly rims the side of their feeding trough. Funny how Ma Cameron despite all his “cleaning up Parliament bollocks” can’t find enough elbow grease to get the job done.

    Must be the limp wrists….


  43. 118
    google says:

    Hilary saying: “I’m going to kill you MF, and get your money”

    Never like her… what a face!!!!


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