November 29th, 2010

Tatler’s Intriguing Top Tory Totty

It is seemingly slim pickings for a single girl in Westminster. Tatler’s annual list of London’s most Eligible Bachelors 2010 is out. In the top ten we have one Christopher Myers, presumably going for the lifetime achievement award, and our miniature Member from Penrith, Rory “definitely not a spook” Stewart.

While the the girls might find it tough to win over Mr Myers, Guido is pretty sure both he and Chris are better dancers than Rory:

Form an orderly queue…

(Video courtesy: Sam England, Penrith)


251 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    not my type Guido

    Like

    • 10
      Billy Bowdens Apprentice Umpire says:

      Dead Ball!

      Like

    • 52
      Osborne has pissed me off. says:

      Hey what the F@ck is Osborne playing at?

      Just heard on the BBC news that his Welfare cuts are going to save so much money that he will not reduce public sector jobs as much as he first planned.

      Look here Osborne, public sector waste is public sector waste and if the public sector can be run with less waste then run it with less waste. DO NOT CREATE public sector waste just because you can…TWAT

      Like

      • 56
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Depends , If its frontline genuine jobs ( Binmen, Drs ,Frontline police etc ) then okay , If he retains any non-jobs then he is a wanker !

        Like

        • 60
          Osborne has pissed me off. says:

          It doesn’t depend on that at all. Osborne told us that his cuts would NOT affect frontline services and he had identified where the cuts could be made without affecting services. He can’t have it both ways.

          What he should do though is tear up all Gordon’s PFI contracts as unlawful and renegotiate them on fair terms.

          Like

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Ok agree on first point , Contracts though , you know how spitful Gordon was he proberly tied them up with so many penalty claues that they cant be undone or it would be cheaper to have the contracts .

            But thats the cynic in me

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            If a government can’t renegotiate contracts, by using their purchasing power they are pathetic. Cameron and Osborne are useless but even so we should have at least one civil servant who isn’t a complete wanker.

            Like

          • Spot on anonymous – tell the chiselling bastards that they’ll never get a look in on another government bid unless they renegotiate, and watch them squirm.

            And if they invoke Europe – well, we know what to do there…

            Like

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            I was just sayin , You dont know how the contract was written ( I dont either) , Maybe they are trying to renogatie it ?

            Beside , do we really know the full extent of Labours mess ?

            Like

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            The full extent of Labour’s mess is that Britain is totally and utterly shafted for the next 50 years, and Camoron’s Spendaholic Conservative Party is going to make the mess even worse.

            Like

        • 187
          AC1 says:

          A lot of the “frontline” things the extortion funded sector does could be done better by the reciprocal sector, such as healthcare.

          Like

      • 79
        Tessa Tickles says:

        I read this news with total dismay, too. A £750bn structural deficit and £4.8 trillion national de*bt but David “Spendaholic” Camoron’s not going to ditch the 700,000 non jobs (not to mention the other 5 million state employees who do SFA) because he thinks we’re suddenly rich again.

        Blue Labour is New Labour. There’s no difference, you couldn’t get a Rizzla paper between the two of them.

        Like

        • 81
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          dunno Tessa , Ok both are EU arse lickers , but id cards scrapped , Hips scrapped , Are the coalition as bad as Labour ? Not yet .

          Like

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            HIPs partially scrapped. Some of the requirements remain (to satisfy Dave’s anti-AGW fetish).

            ID cards scrapped – good, happy with that.

            But Camoron’s just put his foot on the peddle of public spending. £4.8 trillion de*bt? Nah, no probs, says Camoron. We’ll borrow our way out of it.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            They are fucking worse arse licker. They pretented to be an alternative.
            At least the Labour scum were honest traitors.

            Like

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Like i said Tessa , I aint 100% happy with Dave or the coalition , but am not at that moment i was with Labour where i stimulated the local tv shop . has he shifted uto the left because of the libs ? Yeah , Would he be better if he had a decent majority ? Dunno , Bill cash for me as leader ( anti EU ) , I am just willing to give him a bit of slack ( Dave ) , But not for long .

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            He will do what all governments eventually do. Inflate the country out of debt.

            Like

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            And let us not forget Dave’s “EU referendum lock” which he’s, erm, forgotten.

            And his imm*igration limits which he’s, erm, forgetting about.

            And remember when he got in to No10 and set up a website where we could all tell him what we wanted his government to do? Forgotten. Just like Tony Bliar’s “Big Conversation”.

            With the exception of ID cards, this government is every bit as bad as the last government. And I bet Dave “The C*unt” Camoron brings ID cards in by the back door, too.

            Like

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            I love you, Billy, but I’m ahead of you in the “I hate Camoron” competition. :)

            Like

          • barefootcontessa says:

            He’s been steadily rowing back on his ‘cut back’ policies. He’s running scared ‘cos Ed’s new new labour is ahead in the poles, or are the Lib Dems getting to him?

            Like

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            I think Camoron is the leader of the LimpDims. No self-respecting Conservative leader would have done a deal with them.

            The news today that Camoron’s Cons aren’t going to get rid of the non-job yoke around the private sector is definitively the moment when true Tories abandon Camoron’s Party, surely?

            (no Leslie Nielsen jokes, please).

            Like

          • AC1 says:

            > He will do what all governments eventually do. Inflate the country out of debt.

            Inflation => Unemployment. Iron rule.

            Like

          • S. Baldrick says:

            Inflate yourself out of debt. What a great idea on a personal level. Qualitative squeezing I will call it, since privately money printing is not in fashion anymore. Mugabe’s fault by the way.

            Like

      • 126
        Yeah, Right says:

        Yeah, right. Let’s just keep regurgitating the same old shit, shall we?
        To think I abandoned The Daily Mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/ for this, FFFFFFFFSSSSSS !!!!!!!!

        Like

    • 246
      Airey Belvoir says:

      I believe that Rory Stewart’s friends call the sensitive, Arabist intellectual bachelor ‘Florence of Belgravia’.

      Like

      • 248
        Desperate Dan says:

        Oh God – another ‘Friend of Mandelson’ then? Is that now a prerequisite for a job at westminster?

        Like

  2. 2
    Disco Biscuit says:

    I thought it was Santa who had lots of little elves, not a little elf who had lots of Santas?

    Like

  3. 3
    Chris says:

    Missed off Alan Duncan

    Like

  4. 4

    Phwoaaarrrrrr! Look at that totty (fap) (fap), can’t fookin’ ‘elp mesel……..oooooooooh!

    Spoff…….!

    Like

  5. 5
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Our species is doomed.

    Like

  6. 6
    Hermione H-C says:

    No wonder I’m still single.

    Like

  7. 7
    Pattie O'Doors says:

    Did you spot Mr Squeaker also?

    Like

  8. 8
    Ed Miliband says:

    No comment.

    Like

  9. 9
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am Top totty , Now watch me shake my botty .

    Like

  10. 11
    Billy Bowdens Apprentice Umpire says:

    Leg bye!

    Like

  11. 12

    Let’s hope Christopher’s lucky lady likes the taste of feathers.

    Like

  12. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Who is worse , Bankers or Politicons ?

    Like

  13. 16
    Billy Bowdens Apprentice Umpire says:

    New ball!

    Like

  14. 17
    Billy Bowdens Apprentice Umpire says:

    One short!

    Like

  15. 18
    Dave Figgley says:

    Fuck me, son. So many exciting posts – so little time, mate.
    Keep it up, geezer. The Tellygraph just disappeared up it’s own arsehole.
    Ha ha. Ponces.

    Like

  16. 19
    Roger Moore says:

    Silly point!

    Like

  17. 20
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    After the 5th test match the words all England will hear .

    ” And England retain the Ashes for the first time since 1986/87 in Australia”

    Like

    • 58
      Sir William Waad says:

      Can I be the first to point out, gently but firmly, that cricket is boring? As dear old Bill Temple said when he was Archbish of Canterbury, cricket is a form of organised loafing. The only circumstances in which I would want to watch it is if I were chained to a radiator in suburban Kandahar, as I could then feel less anxious about the possibility of beheading.

      Like

      • 59
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        I disagree , But respect your view .

        Like

      • 84

        Dunno, Sir WW – I always used to field at third man, cause I could leave my ale on the boundary and have a slurp between balls – organised loafing to be sure but better than tennis where I had to wait 2 games for a swallow!

        Besides, I only do cricket on the radio these days – Geoff Boycott is still a star even after all these years.

        BTW – apparently the reason the convicts played without a third man in the second innings was that he’d defected to Moscow…

        Like

        • 123
          Engineer says:

          More likely to have defected to Peking these days.

          I hear the Chinese have set themselves the target of being a Test nation within the next decade (seriously – no jest). No doubt they have many left-arm spinners with well-concealed wrong-uns.

          Like

          • Farouk – is that you?

            I’ve no doubt the Chinese could produce a great cricket team – they’re not short of folk to choose from, and they have already proved that they can target athletics events (e.g. women’s long distance running) with pretty good success.

            All they need to do is to convert a few whiff-whaff players to spinners and they’ve got it made!

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Spot on, CHINAMAN-Left-arm unorthodox spin

            Like

        • 125
          Must get a pseudonym one day says:

          Mmmm… had to wait two tennis games for a swallow ?

          Maybe that’s why Billy Hague prefers boy-on-boy wrestling.

          Like

  18. 21
    A Sweet Old Lady says:

    Yawn!

    Like

  19. 22
    ModBot says:

    Dave @ 18ish. Useful hint #7: Please refrain from typing “geezer” because, from where I’m sitting, it looks too much like “gayboy”.
    Try “laddy” or “my good fellow” for maximum enjoyment, without censorship.

    Like

  20. 23
    Tattoo Tats Twin says:

    That’s Tats favourite magazine.

    Like

  21. 24
    Maximus says:

    Wikileakspedia reveals that Roderick James Nugent Stewart, is known as Rory Stewart, presumably not to be confused with the better known Rod Stewart. But whereas Rod the Mod has a CBE, the member for Penrith has an OBE. Wikileakspedia is most uninformative as to how this was obtained, and I for one would love to hear from some other barstewards whose efforts have been overlooked.

    Like

  22. 25
    Victoria Sponge says:

    Oh dear. So who is the richest? :Φ)

    Like

  23. 27
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    That picture of Rory Stewart looks like somebody just smacked his arse.

    Like

  24. 29
    Ms Widdecombe says:

    Ok, Guido let’s see your fancy footwork.

    Like

  25. 30
    Tankus says:

    wheres the wiki shit on gordo ?… I’m in need of a good belly laugh

    Like

  26. 31
    A Sweet Old Lady says:

    Eenie, meenie, mynie, mo….

    Like

  27. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    O/T Guido , Do you know if Dave is at PMQS this week , I heard he will be lobbying for the 2018 world cup bid . Looks like numbers 2s this week ?

    Like

  28. 37
    Yuck Pass The Sick Bucket says:

    Hillary Clintons speech littered with NWO speil, those of ‘good faith’ ‘common international purpose’ etc. etc.

    Like

  29. 38
    the beast of t' yorkshire moors says:

    Top botty !

    Like

  30. 40
    Billy t' beast of t' yorkshire moors says:

    Top botty !
    Ay oop as I like to say when summat unexpected comes up at 6am in a shared ‘otel room

    Like

    • 45
      nell says:

      No c’mon prezza, even with your yorkshire accent, there is no way you are going to make it into tatler’s top ten.

      Like

  31. 41
    Jim says:

    Bandits with more STDs than bus full of blacks.

    Like

  32. 42
    nell says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/legacygallery/gallery-9018/Tatler-Top-Ten-Boys.html?selectedImage=78826

    OMG! tatler’s top ten of eligible men includes russell brand!!

    C’mon he looks like someone’s dragged him through a hedge backwards and his IQ’s very suspect.

    Who on earth would regard him as an asset?!! ( well maybe the labour party) but other than that ??!

    Like

  33. 43
    A well hung Parliament please!!! ex BBC cunt, Ben 'buggering' Bradshaw says:

    Why is the Pikey drunk so obsessed with the delightful Mr Myers’ sexuality?

    If Christopher enjoys large uncut cock in his mouth and anus, that’s his affair surely you Pikey twat.

    Im packed, Chris love

    Like

  34. 46
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

    Chop off ‘is knob !!!!!

    Like

  35. 47
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Any Totty o the left ( Well to the left of Dave )

    Like

    • 55
      nell says:

      Well to the left of buzzmilitwit.

      There’s twatson and prezza. They’re about as good as it gets in labour.

      Like

  36. 48
    Sir William Waad says:

    I’m pleased to read that Chris Myers has good calves. I’m experimenting with Stabiliser cattle and on my experience so far with these beasts I thoroughly recommend them to Chris, especially if he’s trying to run a hill farm with a suckler herd – not at all an easy proposition these days!

    Like

  37. 51
    What I really want to know says:

    IS IAIN DALE SINGLE?

    Like

  38. 53
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido , Now Ireland has got its bailout ( UK 3.7 billion ) , Will this solve the problem or are they really in the shit ?

    As long as it gets a decent intrest rate .

    Like

    • 61
      nell says:

      Err.Nope. Belgium Portugal and Spain(by the end of 2011) are all going to face economic meltdown.

      Germany’s the one with the problem , because they are the one’s that have to bail these people out.

      ‘Un’ Fortunately, as the wikileaks us cablegate has just pointed out, angelamerkel lacks creativity and avoids risks.

      With luck the dominoes will tumble and the euro will crash!!

      Like

    • 65
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      2-1 to England

      Like

      • 86
        puffing billy bowden says:

        Billy, you can’t disappear from this blog for days on end and suddenly return like nothing has happened. What do you think this is, a fucking hotel? Insensitive bastard.

        Like

      • 92

        No chance Billy – the Adelaide pitch is even flatter and deader than the Gabba, so that’s a draw, and unless Swann pulls his finger out then it looks like deadlock every game.

        I’d go for 0-0, but we still keep the ashes…

        Like

        • 103
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          Swanns had a bad game ( Not as bad as the aussies bowlers apart from siddle ) , Plus you got KP as a 2nd spinner or Monty ( who done well last time ) , Finn looks good , Jimmy was unlucky bowled really well , We in good nick .

          Like

    • 73
      Mr Plum says:

      Your looking at it all wrong, we’re all one big happy U.S. of E now, irelands problems are our problems.
      In the USA if one state is failing the people just go and live somewhere else

      Like

    • 78
      Sir William Waad says:

      We get 5.8% according to ROB…….ert pest…….ONontheboxlast NY-UT.

      Like

  39. 63
    William Hague says:

    How come I surround myself with gayers?

    Like

  40. 66
    Bob Crow says:

    Who the fuck leaked all this shit?

    Like

  41. 70
    Gordon Brown ( Kareoke star) says:

    Ok , Guys , Guys ……… Sing with me , Get into the groove baby ………

    THINGS ………….. CAN ONLY GET BETTER ….. THEY CAN ONLY GET BETTER

    Like

  42. 71
    nell says:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/29/wikileaks-cables-rude-prince-andrew

    Well I’m a great fan of Her Maj.

    But this corrupt son needs mothballing!!

    Like

    • 119
      jgm2 says:

      Bollocks nell.

      He was only stating the truth. The prissy yank can go and fuck herself.

      Like

      • 152
        Grown Up says:

        Too bloody right – anyone who uses the word “inappropriate” without irony has got to be a right minger

        Like

        • 157
          Dame Celia Molestrangler says:

          Actually Prince Andy comes out of wikileaks gaining a few points methinks – insulting everyone, including the Graunaid and the french before lunch, without drawing breath. Fabulous. Way better value than the last government!

          Like

          • jgm2 says:

            If the grauniad and the French (and the US) are insulted by the truth then they can ….. go and fuck themselves.

            Andy, whilst there is much feed back I could give him, is bang on the fucking money with his assessments of the real politik. This bed-wetting yank should mayhap spend more time looking at the bribery and corruption in US defence acquisition than losing sleep over the A-rabs.

            Like

    • 233
      Archie says:

      Yeah, fuck the Yanks! What’s the betting Assange meets with a very nasty “accident” ere long?

      Like

  43. 72
    ABU HAMZA says:

    There all gayers !

    Like

    • 82
      nell says:

      I wonder which is worst ‘gayers’ or evilpeople who use ‘religion’ to excusejustifyviolence ??!!

      Like

      • 97

        I’d rather have a good scrap with a few Islamists than spend any time with the gayers Nell, but then I’m British and hetero…

        Like

        • 107
          nell says:

          Regret I can’t agree with that.

          There are some very decent gay people about.

          There are no decent people who use religion to justify violence about.

          Like

          • Nathan Treasure says:

            Quite.

            I dont understand homosexuality. Lesbianism I can see. Two men kissing and cuddling, stubble scratching stubble, nah, cant see it.

            what I do understand is, they are born that way. So, its ok with me.

            Frankie Howard, Benny Hill, Charles Hawtrey, Kenneth Williams, the list is endless. They were national treasures – even Paul O’Grady is in danger of becoming a national treasure.

            Like

          • John Inman's ghost says:

            I’m free!

            Like

          • Mr Plum says:

            Not benny hill as well

            Like

          • YOU CAN STICK YOUR GLOBAL WARMING UP YOUR FROZEN JOCK ARSE ! says:

            not benny hill !
            No Way

            Like

          • so this is what goes on says:

            according to one of the Hill’s Angels, one of their tasks was occasionally lending him a hand, so to speak.

            Like

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            According to Wiki , Benny proposed to three women so not likely he was a shirtlifter. We could add Larry Grayson, John Gielgud, John Inman, Julian Clary to the list of national treasures

            Like

  44. 80
    David Miliband Labour leader in waiting and Luvvie lover Tweet says:

    Like

    • 85
      David Miliband Labour leader in waiting and Luvvie lover re Tweet says:

      “Nice to talk to Strad magazine with Louise about music, Britain and why arts shdnt be dismissed as luvvies.”

      Like

      • 90
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Back to cool britania then ?

        Like

      • 98
        nell says:

        buzzmilitwit thinks his louise, music and the arts need labour’s support.

        Oh Dear!! I feel a a labour moment coming on for pouring £millions into a quango sometime in the future if ed ever gets into power!!!

        No doubt his louise will take a senior role (paid of course) unlike boris’s lass who took an unpaid role to raise funds for the 2012 olympics.

        But if ed has his way, when/if he gets into power , labour won’t be raising any questions about her remunerations will they??!!

        Like

        • 105
          On the Fiddle says:

          Louise is his Missus and like most Labour wives she has not taken her husband’s name. It’s Louise Shackelton and she is a professional fiddler.

          Like

    • 100

      Strad magazine?

      They must have wanted to know who made the worlds tiniest violin that was playing when Banana Boy lost the Liebour leadership!

      Like

    • 109
      The Arts Council says:

      London Symphony Orchestra will receive £2,244,817 in 2008/2009, £2,305,427 in 2009/2010, £2,355,836 in 2010/2011 and £2,193,283 in 2011/2012.

      http://www.artscouncil.org.uk/rfo/london-symphony-orchestra/

      They obviously are not all in this together.

      Like

      • 159
        Dame Celia Molestrangler says:

        Just like the labour front bench. Johnson was woeful today – can’t even agree with himself, having words like forecast and future directly opposed in the same sentence. Tosser!

        Like

  45. 89
    Dack Blog says:

    Cripes, Danny Alexander (C4 News) is getting a bit jowly. He must be on the Dave/Nick/Ozzie diet. He could do with going to a Santa exercise class. They’re looking quite svelte in Santa terms.

    Like

  46. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Assume this is not a trick question.They do both bat for the home side don’t they?

    Like

  47. 101
    BOTTY WATCH says:

    Calling all single girls around Westminster
    if its gonna be slim pickens
    here he is

    all the rest of them are gayers !

    Like

  48. 112
    BOTTY WATCH says:

    gayers cannot be trusted in politics
    They are all to busy “Aiding and a botting

    Like

  49. 113
    al-Jabeebies says:

    The BBC have outdone themselves today. Interviewing Danny Alexander about the OBR’s report which has forecast growth in the economy and a million jobs in the private sector, Jon Sopel said “You can look at this report any way you want, can’t you?”

    Like

  50. 132
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have asked Harriet Harman to deputise for me at PMQs on Wednesday.
    I shall be in the Cowdenbeath Waterstones signing copies of my new book.

    “How America ruined it for everyone. Beyond the cash”

    Like

  51. 133
    Frozen Blue says:

    Bloody freezing here, I couldn’t even get the car up to the house as the slush on the lane immediately froze at sunset.

    Chop down the windmills and throw them on the fire and commission half a dozen coal fired power stations is what I say.

    Like

    • 138

      Hear, hear!

      Sod carbon dioxide – it’s all a scam anyway, and we need energy security so let’s build the coal stations, reopen whichever mines are still fit, and get the next generation of nuclear on the way as soon as possible – thorium reactors are on the horizon and you can get plenty of that out of granite which we’re not short of.

      Added to which, the Liebour commitment to reducing CO2 is costing us at least 18 billion a year, without the costs of importing French nuclear which knackers our balance sheet still further.

      We’re skint – we can’t afford to be ‘precautionary’ based on the word of ‘climate scientists’ who are mostly thicko geography students elevated to positions of power anyway.

      Like

  52. 139
    Nick2 says:

    OT, but just seen Pan o rama re f/ball bid. Was pretty cynical before, but if Cameron’s agreed to tax exemptions all round, winning could cost the country loadsamoney – in addition to the cost of the ‘privilege’ of hosting the event.

    It also makes me wonder what tax exemptions/other give – aways Blair/Brown agreed to in order to host 2012…

    Like

    • 155

      I watched that too, prepared at the start to slate the BBC like I normally do.

      However, Andrew Jennings’ reporting is back up to the old standards, and it’s time the chickens came home to roost on both FIFA and the IOC – I’ll happily watch the footy or olympics on telly and don’t want tax evasion on the scale insisted upon by the organisers to beggar my country still further.

      The BBC still needs shrinking and privatising though.

      Like

      • 166
        Britain should not support a corrupt sporting event says:

        Agree on both points.

        Like

      • 176
        13eastie says:

        It mаy hаvе bееn jоurnаlіѕtісаlly ѕоund, but thе еdіtоrіаl dесіѕіоn tо ѕсrееn іt tоdаy wаѕ аѕ соrruрt аѕ аny оf іtѕ rеvеlаtіоnѕ.

        Наlf оf thе ѕtuff іn thе рrоgrаm wаѕ yеаrѕ оld ― іt hаrdly ѕееmѕ tо hаvе bееn urgеnt nеwѕ рrіоr tо thіѕ wееk.

        Оnly thе ВВС wоuld ѕріtе mіllіоnѕ оf ѕроrtѕ fаnѕ tо еngіnееr а ‘fаіlurе’ fоr СаllМеDаvе…

        Сuntѕ.

        Like

        • 178
          FIFA has no place in Britain says:

          But why does Call Me Dave want to emrace a corrupt organisation?

          Like

        • 192

          It’s hardly spiting millions of sport fans to reveal the institutional corruption at the highest levels of FIFA, nor the insistence of FIFA on tax and other concessions in order to allow foreign fans to visit, for example, Milton Keynes.

          The oligarchs will have already sewn it up for Russia anyway – these votes seem to come fairly cheap by maffiya standards, so we weren’t in with a chance from the start.

          Like

          • 13eastie says:

            Yоur рrеdісtіоn mаy bе соrrесt, but І’m nоt ѕurе thе ВВС wіll lіkе thе Ѕun hеаdlіnе thе dаy оf thе аnnоunсеmеnt, аnd fоr а gооd whіlе аftеrwаrdѕ…

            Like

          • Suits me 13eastie – the more crap the BBC gets the sooner it’ll be looked at as a burden on the rest of us and the useful bits sold off, with the rest scrapped.

            We win either way!

            Like

        • 194
          Iain Dale and his giant inflatable cock head says:

          Dave was going to strut about and look simply wonderful appealing to the oiks by pretending to care about foot-the-ball as I think it’s called.
          And now these beastly rotters revealing rampant corruption have spoiled it!!! Filthy nosy spoilsports!!!

          Those foreigners at wikileaks are just as bad for revealing the Americans to be unprincipled liars. Dave and me love Obama and sucking his black cock.

          I’ll need Mad Nads to give me a good strap on session tonight to make me feel better.

          Like

  53. 140
    Dr David Viner, senior research scientist at CRU says:

    “Within a few years winter snowfall will become a very rare and exciting event”.

    Like

  54. 153
    Katherine Hudson says:

    Harriet Harman would object to such a list of women. That ugly munter would not be in it!

    Like

  55. 158
    Hamish says:

    What happened to the “Royal behaving inappropriately” story?
    Rumours spread that it was Randy Andy.
    Now it is revealed that indeed it was.
    The dirt is that he guffawed that if you want to do business in some countries, you have to abide by the local customs.
    Yawn.

    Like

    • 163
      Prince Andrew loves a good Haguing says:

      Rude, cocky and tried to laugh off the colossal corruption in the Saudi Arms deal

      The same Saudis the US named in the leak as being directly responsible for funding Al Q terrorists. So UK taxpayers were funding AL Q via bungs to Saudi Royals and the fuckwit Andrew laughed about it.

      The little shit deserved to be cuckolded by the twat Frergie considering he’s ‘friends’ with andrew lloyd webber in the same way Hague was ‘friends’ with his Spad in tha hotel room so many times.

      Like

      • 173

        Fat Andy and Lloyd Webber?

        MIndbleach time, sorry…

        Like

      • 174
        jgm2 says:

        Oh Christ, this is so circular it’s fucking spherical. The same yanks that Blair’n’Brown bent over to let themselves be fucked up the arse in order to (in Blair’s case) emulate Thatcher with a ‘righteous’ war ending in a short, sharp victory and a massive poll bounce and b) a nasty, narcissistic. economy-wrecking lunatic who figured that for him, personally, it was better to go along with Blair’s lunacy in order to keep his evil fucking feet under the table.

        In the field of recognising the Saudis as the font of all Islamic evil I defer to no man.

        On Sept 12 2001 I wouldn’t have been lighting up Baghdad or Damascus or Kabul or Tehran. I’d have been visiting the warmth of a million Suns on Riyadh.

        Because we all know the fountainhead of all this lunacy.

        Oh yes we do.

        Like

        • 182
          Anon says:

          Nuking mecca would put an end to it all but they would rather see us fight pointless wars designed for loss and failure so we are ripe for conquest.

          Like

          • jgm2 says:

            Better to give God fair warning I think. Give him a full weeks warning that Mecca was going to be turned into a giant glass exhibition. The better for Allah, the all-powerful, the all-knowing, to get his shit together. Get his power-of-the universe defence shield in place.

            And then nuke the fucking place.

            Oh what?

            We caught ‘Allah’ by surprise?

            No fair?

            Bull_shit – he had a full weeks warning and couldn’t even get his act together to bat away a single missile. Do you know it’s almost like A) He doesn’t give a shit or B) He only exists in your fucked-up heads.

            The kindest thing we could do for a billion people really.

            Like

          • Dubya says:

            God told me to invade Iraq so I’m better than you.

            Like

          • Eccentrica Gallumbits says:

            Mecca IS a glass exhibition. Isn’t that rock of theirs a glassy meteorite (tektite)?

            Like

          • jgm2 says:

            As a geophysicist I am qualified to tell you that rock of theirs is a fucking stone.

            Also, as a geophysicist, I am very receptive to the idea of nuking the entire area to the point where the entire desert turns to glass and we can simply wander around peering down trough the glassy substrate directly at the oil instead of fucking about with all that seismic shit.

            It’s what God would have wanted.

            Like

          • I was under the impression that it was an iron-nickel meteorite, and being a bunch of camel jockeys and highly untechnical they worshipped such things as they could be beaten into special swords for beheading the rest of us, and it was cheaper to find one of the funny rocks than it was to import wootz steel from India or even trade with those nasty Hittites.

            Mind you, that may be my prejudices coming through…

            Like

          • Oh, and the rock was worshipped by the local animists long before the shagger of 9 year olds turned up with his ridiculous dream writings.

            Like

          • jgm2 says:

            I am not going to get dragged into a long drawn out argument about Mohamed’s special stone.

            Except to say that it is further proof that the old cock-waving, primary-school child bothering, camel-jockey was an utter nutcase.

            It’s what God would have wanted.

            Him being all-merciful, all-knowing and all-that.

            Like

        • 193

          But I like Wahabi sauce on my sushi!

          Like

    • 164
      Phil Oso Fur says:

      Inappropriately is in the eye of the beholder.

      Like

  56. 161
    Jack Frost says:

    So Dave is forcing us to pay more for our heating bills by way of the subsidy for his windfarms because he thinks we are living in a warmer world?.

    Well i’ve got news for you Dave

    Like

    • 242
      Ars'n Venga says:

      Cameron doesn’t have to pay fuel bills ar downing street – we pay. He doesn’t have to pay fuel bills in his rented-out house – the tenants do – getting my drift here ….. ?

      Like

  57. 165
    Dame Celia Molestrangler says:

    Gweed must be busy poring over wikileaks, like the rest of the Meedja, pity as I would have thought Mandy’s new job might be worth a poke or two – metaphorically. Here’s hoping WPPs share price goes thro the floor as a result – what are they doing employing someone so discredited – oh silly me – he’s in good company, getting ahead in advertising.

    Like

  58. 168
    Sally-ho ! says:

    Well, I’m a single/married, sober/drunk, Blue Labour/ConDem/Laboratory kinda gal.
    I can tweet. I can dance. I can touch my toes.
    I’m bored with The Squeaker poking my navel with his tongue.
    I NEED a REAL TORY that I can manipulate, face to face.
    Is there anyone out there? Forget the Tory/Labour shit.
    I NEED A MAN LIKE RIGHT NOW !!!

    Like

  59. 170
    13eastie says:

    Ноw muсh dоеѕ thе ВВС асtuаlly НАТЕ uѕ?

    Еnоugh tо ѕаbоtаgе thе Wоrld Сuр bіd?

    Еnоugh tо tеll lіеѕ tо yоur kіdѕ tо mаkе thеm hаtе thеіr оwn соuntry?

    Like

    • 177
      Tell FIFA to F Off says:

      Why would we want to invite a corrupt organisation to hold a so called sporting event in our country?

      FFS we invented football, if we want a world cup then we can hold one. A corruption free one at that.

      Like

      • 197
        13eastie says:

        І соuldn’t gіvе а mоnkеy’ѕ аbоut thе fоur-yеаrly-thugаthоn, оr thе рlеbѕ thаt wіll wаѕtе mоnеy tо rерlасе thеіr 42″ ТV’ѕ wіth еvеn bіggеr оnеѕ juѕt fоr thе оссаѕіоn.

        І dо саrе thаt my ТV lісеnсе іѕ bеіng uѕеd tо роlіtісаl еndѕ ― іn thіѕ іnѕtаnсе, tо ѕріtе thеіr сарtіvе аudіеnсе оf vіеwеrѕ іn оrdеr tо thwаrt а роtеntіаl gооd nеwѕ ѕtоry fоr DС.

        Like

        • 200
          jgm2 says:

          I’ll give you a good news story for DC.

          DC gets on TV and says ‘We can’t afford this World Cup bid – we can’t even afford the fucking Olympics – every penny we spend on a four week football tournament is a penny we can’t spend on t’NHS or schools or pensioners. World Cup bid? I shit World Cup bids’.

          That’s what DC could do for us. Tell FIFA to fuck off.

          Like

          • 13eastie says:

            Іn yоur drеаmѕ…

            Wе’vе ѕееn thе rеаl соаlіtіоn gоvеrnmеnt tоdаy.

            Тhе ОВR’ѕ рublісаtіоn оf аn іmрrоvеmеnt іn grоwth оvеr рrеvіоuѕ fоrесаѕtѕ іѕ іmmеdіаtеly ѕрun аѕ а wаy tо ѕаvе рublіс ѕесtоr jоbѕ thаt wе wеrе рrеvіоuѕly tоld wеrе dіѕреnѕіblе wіth nо іmрасt оn frоnt-lіnе ѕеrvісеѕ.

            Іn оthеr wоrdѕ:

            GООD NЕWЅ = ВLUЕ LАВОUR

            Like

          • jgm2 says:

            There were never going to be any job losses. No fucker was ever going to be fired.

            All the ‘job-losses’ would have (will be) just be the result of a recruitment freeze. The notional ‘job-savings’ are bullshit. They’re just the result of an ONS recalculation whereby the turnover in public service jobs has gone down as they realise there will be no job for them in the private sector. Better to sit tight and keep taking the money.

            Less public sector job cuts is not a product of ‘better than expected growth’ – it’s a decrease in public sector turnover caused by the realisation that this is the best gig they’re going to get.

            It’s CMD being dealt lemons and making lemonade.

            We. Are. So . Fucked.

            Like

          • Spot on analysis of the non-job cuts jgm2 – as usual, I salute you.

            Been reading some of the wikileaks stuff regarding the FDP in Germany – it seems libertarian, small-state parties are viewed as an impediment to the ‘war on terror’. Shows that the Omaha regime is just as statist as the rest of the swine, including the coalition of the unwilling that we have here.

            The state should consume as little as possible consistent with providing what the population needs (that’s needs, not desires), and we’re spending at least twice as much on these gits as we can afford, probably far more if we include their excessive pensions.

            Like

        • 202
          Why not hold our OWN World cup? says:

          Can’t see how prostituting ourselves to implore a crime ridden organisation to come to our shores is a good news story.

          Like

        • 204
          Daves ringpiece cleaner and lickspittle says:

          Calm down Mrs Dale. Why the fuck should anyone hide corruption just to make Dave look good or has all that dildo action scambled your brain ?

          Like

    • 179
      jgm2 says:

      Fuck the World Cup bid. We can’t afford the Olympics. What the fuck do we want to get involved with a World Cup bid for?

      The BBC are inadvertently doing us all a favour.

      If only they’d done the same thing prior to the Olympics bid – the Olympic committe are all a bunch of crooks too – then we’d have saved ourselves tens of billions.

      A velodrome. In East London. A ‘multi-purpose stadium’ that’ll be handed over to some wank first division football club (Fulham?) for peanuts that they wont be able to fill before going B*an*k*r*up*t in five years time. As a lasting legacy you understand.

      Lose the world cup bid? I should fucking well hope so. We’ve better things to do with the money we don’t have. Like not spend it in the first place.

      Like

  60. 171
    Greg Beales says:

    Guido Fawkes calls David Cameron the C-word on Twitter

    Like

  61. 172
    Brown is best. says:

    My local authority has been using white salt to beat the freeze. Now while that strategy works, it has been impossible for us to see where the roads and footpaths have been treated. White salted areas look like white frosted areas.

    Must admit though that the white salt does far less damage to the car paintwork and glass (if anything) than the brown salt grit

    Like

  62. 175
    IS BILLY BOWDEN BONKERS? says:

    Guido have you noticed how Tatler is only 2 steps away from a well known dictator?

    Tatler

    Titler

    Hitler

    Probably a Mossad code.

    Like

  63. 181
    Having a rethink says:

    No ID cards is a double edged sword it’s self, I used to be in the no camp but seeing the untold effects of mass immigration in my area I can’t help but think it would be worth finally knowing how many people are actually here and flocking in.

    If there is an official figure of non uk born residents and immigrants then the Government can’t hide behind paltry cuts and false promises on immigration anymore.

    I think many people, myself included would be shocked and spasm at the true numbers.

    Like

    • 198
      Double Bluff says:

      I really can’t understand Dave’s thinking that illegal foreigners from outside Europe can be easily identified because they must carry an ID card. So anyone without an ID card is legal?

      Like

      • 207
        jgm2 says:

        That wasn’t CMD’s logic. That was Old-Nu-Labour Logic.

        I am British. Therefore I don’t need a voluntary ID card.

        You are foreign therefore you do need a compulsory ID card.

        It was so fucking obvious what was going on you’d need to be a Labaour voter to miss it.

        Brilliant idea. We’ll set it up so a few hundred thousand ‘British’ citizens from P*K*S*tan will be ‘victimised’ on account of not speaking a fucking word of English and constantly being demanded their volunatry/compulsory ID card and taking us to court for ‘racism’. So, to ‘rationalise’ the system in order to save a few hundred thousand recently arrived Labour voters undue profiling we’ll just all have to get voluntary/compulsory ID cards.

        The C*U*N*T*S.

        CMD and Nick Clegg have already addressed the single biggest threat to our civil liberties.

        Now I’d like them to take the Icelandic option. Show-trials for the previous government.

        Like

    • 231
      Anonymous says:

      Yank-My gawd you speak english so well, where you from?

      Me-England

      Twats

      Like

  64. 188
    When the Wind doesn't blow says:

    Tonight is freezing. There is no moon but the stars are bright in the clear skys and there is not one breath of wind.

    Bloody good job I’ve got a stack of logs and a bunker of coal as Dave’s Windmills are frozen solid and doing SFA

    Like

    • 195

      Great topical bit on ‘The Gadget Show’ tonight – reviewing the best log burning stoves lol.

      Looking at the prevailing winds, both summer and winter, it seems to me that if we want wind power we just need to pave over Jockland and put them all there, then the rest of us can burn coal and keep warm while they fuflil the ‘carbon commitments’ entered into by the Fabian gits that they overwhelmingly elect every time.

      Like

      • 215
        jgm2 says:

        Not at all. Most of Fucking Scotland is utterly inhospitable even to 21st century man. It is only the huge number of Scotch nuclear power stations that allows the Scotch to survive. They’d freeze to death or starve like generations before them without nuclear power.

        However there is a huge natural resource in barren Fucking Scotland that goes unused outside of the Outer Hebrides. The very ‘land’ they live on. Just like Ireland, Fucking Scotland is essentially a blanket bog. You can literally dig up the ground, dry it out in the gale season and set fire to it. And, given that its utterly fucking sterile and freezing then you might as well burn the fucking place. Like they do in Ireland. And Stornoway. And Orkney.

        All this renewable shit is a load of shite. Just set fire to Scotland. It’ll keep us warm for years.

        Till they go on strike. Them being ‘key-workers’ and all.

        Like

  65. 203
    Anonymous says:

    Guido

    I doubt very much that you are a better dancer then daffy duck.

    However I make Michael Jackson at his most alive look untalented in comparison.

    What is more my cock is thicker, longer, and stays harder then most women can safely handle previous to drinking a pint or two of strong spirits.

    Which should throw little Rory and your good self into a very poor losing spot on the pussy front.

    However as we all know, women will always drop a hard well swinging dick for a full wallet with a generous owner. If they have this as well as more then a minute amount of perceived power or fame then they simply can’t possibly keep their nickers on even stone cold sober.

    Such is the nature of women kind. Can’t say I overly blame them, “It is just a shame thats all.” To quote that all singing all dancing old tight wad Phil Collins.

    Like

  66. 208
    ANDY COULSON says:

    Recession ! what recession
    if there was one nobody told me abnout it

    Like

  67. 218
    Observation says:

    Anyone noticed how socialists who want everyone to do as they say tend to be rather wealthy themselves? Funny that.

    Like

  68. 221
    Labour's media arm says:

    The MSM outdid themselves today. In their coverage of the report by the Office for Budget Responsibility which has forecast growth and new jobs, they did everything possible to be negative about it. The BBC said the report could be read any way you want! And Jon Snow on Channel 4 said the credit should go to the last government! They don’t even try and hide their bias anymore!

    Like

    • 243
      Dame Celia Molestrangler says:

      Agreed – they are pointedly not referring to Brown being unstable which of course Gweed told them long ago. Busy spooning out the same old al ja beeba shite and so are skite news. Woeful reporting.

      Like

  69. 223
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish the England 2018 World Cup bid all the best.

    Like

    • 228
      jgm2 says:

      This is one time where your special skill might come in useful.

      As an occasional taxpayer the very last thing I want is for UK Plc to be in the hole for several billion quid for a one month football tournament. Hopefully, by your very special idiot powers you have averted that idiotic possibility. Although of course, with your special idiot powers we could end up with a double idiotting. Or black idiocy cancelling out white idiocy. The ying and yang of idiocy as it were.

      The idiocy to throw the UK’s hat in the ring being cancelled (or doubled up) by your own special idiot intervention. I s’pose it’s a useful control point on the great idiot graph of ‘Just how Big an Idiot Is Gordon Brown?’

      Luckily I’ve got logarithmic graph paper for that.

      Like

  70. 225
    A Pensioner says:

    Is “Tatler” TAT’s new blog?

    Like

  71. 236
    albacore says:

    Fancy that – there’s a new Scotland Bill going through the UK Parliament.
    It’s the usual three-legged donkey bodge-up.
    Still, as long as nobody rocks the imaginary aircraft carrier and asks why we haven’t got an English Parliament, there’s no call for the Tatler-aware to get their kilts in a twist.

    Like

  72. 237
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Where’s MacMental?

    “Greg Hands said the former Prime Minister had spoken only once in the House since May’s general election, had tabled no questions and had made only five of the 131 votes.

    During Commons question time, Mr Hands (Chelsea and Fulham) asked: “Would you agree to have a word with the Member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, assuming he can be found, and perhaps suggest some orientation might be needed?”

    Deputy Commons Leader David Heath replied: “I’m sure it would be invidious to discuss the attendance record of any individual right honourable Member.

    “It does worry me, I have to say, if some Members do have problems reconciling the competing pressures of writing books and making well-paid speeches with their duties in this House. However, I do hope that in the context of the present economic situation, those with particular experience of, say, ending boom and bust will feel able to contribute to our debates.”

    How is the former Prime Mentalist going to wriggle of that one?

    Can’t be long until, ‘The UK Economy, My Part In Its Downfall’ is published or pulped.

    Like

  73. 239
    Greg Beales says:

    You seem to be getting militant in your old age,Guido

    “Rupert Murdoch’s papers incite violence every day, against workers, refugees, women and through support for the Condem scums attacks on vital public services, education and welfare. As for Warsi – an unelected creature sitting in our parliament without a single person voting for her. What a disgrace, what a world we live in and what a pathetic system we have in this ‘democratic and free’ country (my arse!)”

    Guido

    Like

  74. 244
    Snorey Stewart says:

    Neither William H nor I can dance. we just down 15 pints and get buggered.

    Like

  75. 245
    Border Terrier says:

    Rory Stewart is a complete Tit.

    The boy needs a girlfriend and a regular shag.

    Like

  76. 250
    Tobias says:

    Could not agree more, Border Terrier, Roderick Stewart is a complete tit. Does he need a shag ? From all accounts he will not be looking for a girl ?

    Like

  77. 251
    Anonymous says:

    But IS he gay? He is always going on in interviews about wanting to find a girlfriend. The recent profile in the New York Times tells of his love of wooing beautiful women by reading them poetry. He seems like a good guy to me, gay or straight.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

5 Things We Learned From Guido’s Party | GQ
Revealed: Guido Fawkes Anniversary Dinner Guestlist | Peter Oborne
More Owen Jones Errors | Michael Ezra
Why Should Men Get Equal Maternity Leave? | Laura Keynes
Dentists Have Last Laugh Over Sneering Keynes | FT
Why’s Clegg Giving Men Paternity Leave? | Conservative Women
Cam Cannot Stem EU Immigration | David Keighley
9 Mansion Tax Questions for Ed Balls | TPA
Politicians are Lying to You About Immigration | Alex Wickham
Give Journalists Public Interest Defence in Law | Guardian
Cameron is Going to Have to Deal With UKIP | Dan Hodges


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Progressive Inclusion Champion says:

Great to hear Carswell call for inclusive policies and that UKIP must stand for first and second generation immigrants as much as the English.


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