Name Games
Total Politics are running a competition to name a hotel suite, with a political twist. Guido is presuming it’s a double bed so that rules out the Christopher Myers Suite. As it is a hotel that lets gay people stay the Grayling Suite is out too. Not sure who would want to stay in the Handy-cock Suite? The Laws Lundie Suite has a certain ring to it. The Tracy Temple works well, though the Strathclyde Suite is a little too Holiday Inn for the Corinthia Hotel.
Enter here, though Guido has a feeling the answers below will be funnier…
Gorgon Brown, u would be mad to have anything to do with it.
The Benjamin Netanyahu
Half the west is camped up his arse already.
The Smith Suite – please note that the bill will contain no attempt to disguise the fact that you have been watching porn
The Andy Coulson pay a fat blogger a bung suite of CCHQ spin.
Labour lost.
Get over it.
Cameron couldn’t even win a majority against a useless tosser like Brown.
Get over it.
Brown couldn’t even win a majority over a lightweight tosser like Cameron.
Getting on with the job? Hahahahahahaha! Bunch of incompetent, useless retarded, fuckwits the lot of ‘em.
I’ve seen playground politics produce better policies.
“The Sinking Feeling” Suit?
RT is better than the BBC, even Al Jazeera spouts less bullshit than the beeb.
Given the success of the FREE London Evening Standard, maybe a friendly takeover of them would result in the end of the hated licence fee.
Top chap, sums it up succinctly.
Top Chap, takes it up the arse from Cameron on EU surrender then pretends to give a shit.
Strathclyde Suite is too Blackpool.
The Cleggover honeymoon suite?
Gravy train suite or liars paradise suite.
With 30 beds in it??
More of a ‘Honeymoon Dorm’.
The Flippers Suite?
The Cast Iron Suite
Brown and out
How about “The Trough” ?
How about the Cameron is a Cun ‘t suite
This wins it for me!
Hague is suite.
Tommy Sheridan Suite (as many as you want, and nobody needs to know…)
Moat House Incident Suite?
http://www.scotsman.com/news/Several-charges-dropped-in-Sheridan.6639872.jp
Moat House Incident Suite?
http://www.scotsman.com/news/Several-charges-dropped-in-Sheridan.6639872.jp
What? They let gay people stay in hotels?
Whatever next?
I suppose in that case they could call it The Hague
Sweet smell of success suite.
see story about Richard Dawkins alias Wickhams arrested for…..
http://www.newsagentprovocateur.blogspot.com
The Canterbury Suite
My facefull of Clare’s Quim Suite.
Quango Suite – unelected, unaccountable and thoroughly thief proof
The Second Home Suite.
The Norway Suite – for the grace of god, go…
The Peter & Gordon Suite
Any suite here:
http://failads.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/L000141-hotel-Huntz.jpg
oops… didn’t work. try again…
http://www.hotels.com/3/hotelimages/s/079000/079032A.jpg
Looks more like a knocking shop than a hotel.
The Mark Oaten Suite
Clearly all surfaces would need to be easy to clean.
Nose in the trough sweeter than sweet suite.
A teenage girl was arrested on suspicion of inciting religious hatred after allegedly burning an English language version of the Koran, police said.
The 15-year-old was questioned and bailed by detectives last Friday after the alleged incident at a school in the Sandwell area of the West Midlands.
Call the suite the ‘MECCA SUITE’ cause it won’t be fucking long now the rate this country is going…..
The PC mad Chief Constable who ordered this lunatic overreaction which makes british law a total fucking laughing stock ought to reconsider his decison fairly quickly or pray to whatever idol he currently worships that his job is not up for election anytime soon.
Home
Hee hee.
In honour of Dick Tinmey – the Mrs & Mrs Smith suite – she defo had the strap on if he was watching gay porn. (Also helps when playing away).
The benefit system has been encouraging chav breeding programmes for years. What’s the problem with saying so?
Just say no!
People aren’t meant to hear the truth. People should be distracted. Quick bring back Big Brother to keep the proles quiet.
It seems that the freeloading underclass has become a sacred cow. Don’t criticise the sponging bastards or you’ll be vilified by BBC/Grauniadistas.
Freedom of thought and speech is now dead in the Conservative Party under that spineless twat Cameron’s leadership. He’s more of a wishy-washy LibDem than Clegg.
If you want to see the proof of Howard Flight’s comments, just visit any post office on certain days and watch the fistfuls of taxpayers’ dosh handed over the counter to the queues of scummy mummys. Enough cash to keep every little Kaiden, Tegan, Chantelle, Madison, Kalisha etc. in designer clothing, mobile phones and playstations until they leave school.
The Howard Flight Family Rooms
Sweet Willy Hague.
The Tango Suite
The Red Suite
How about: “Expenses Are Suite”
I’m for this.
The Lying Rooms
The Happiness Suite.
The Taxpayer’s Suite.
The Rinka Room?
The Zyklon B en suite.
“Bite the Pillow” Suite.
The Bigger than Big Society Suite.
You just MIGHT get there if you use British transport
http://www.tolpuddlemartyr.blogspot.com
‘The Green Room’
A diamond encrusted glory hole
The “Isn’t It” Suite
CLAPS
sweet
In honour of all the money-grabbing bastards who occupy our parliament, “The Cell”.
3′ x 9′, bunk bed, in-room toilet, concrete walls, door locks from the outside… you get the idea.
I thoroughly approve, we’d all be much happier if they all cleared off and let us sort things out for ourselves. The removal of traffic lights has been a success in many places.
The Royal Wedding Suite, god forbid!
Be reasonable – that’s far too plush.
The Custody Suite
The Laws Suite?
The Spin Suite
The Jonathan Aitken suite, featuring complementary shredding of all record of your stay.
Did somebody mention shredding all records of their stay? Apart from the shredding bill.
You’ll be guaranteed a good lie-in in the Campbell Suite, but we regret that the McBride Suite is unavailable following the discovery of some nasty smears.
The Manifesto Suite.
The brochure promises 4-poster beds, complimentary minibar, en-suite, 24-hr room service, blah blah blah.
When you get there, it’s actually just an empty cupboard. With spiders.
For which the hapless punter is still charged full whack, in advance.
And 2 weeks later you find the receptionist skimmed your credit card, watched you type your PIN, and is buying all sorts of mail-order shit with it from Brussels.
lol
haha, tahts great! esp the spider touch
Mister Bbbbrrrrrrrrrrroooon Sweetie.
The Gordon’s Brown Suite, featuring an emergency supply of Nokias and toilet paper.
And chocolate biscuits, or hobnobs, which ever gets more votes.
With a crate of bananas delivered daily.
Ming-ing Campbell Suite
Bite The Pillow suite..
The Cowperthwaite Suite
The Margaret Moran, comes decked out in authentic dry rot.
…and is 130 miles away from where you actually booked.
*applauds*
Charlie Kennedy Suite: no mini-bar, instead an actual bar with a barman and a doorman to throw you out when you’ve had 200 too many.
The “Peter Mandleson ‘bend over’ suite(y)”…
The Caroline Nokes Nookie suite.
Confidential videos provided on request.
Caroline also avaliable on request for 200 quid an hour.
Outfits avaliable.
“Bleughr…”
The Liberton Suite
The Ritz, need we say more?
The “Eurosceptic”
No Rumpey Pumpey allowed!
The Richard Timney wanking suite.
If a 1970s glam-rock band once stayed there and enjoyed a charming bijou pudding it could be the Sweet Sweet Sweet Suite.
Only the politically correct and boring easily offended don’t like Frankie. He’s the funniest comic on the planet and he takes the piss out of everyone equally. His Prescott and Delhi jokes are great here.
The Celtic Tiger Suit
The Celtic Tiger and The Slut?
gordon’s secret hideaway.
The Bercow Suite with fully stocked miniatures cabinet.
The Brown Suit
*Complimentary bogies included on furniture*
Let me show you to our ‘ Lovely tiny gingery Blears Suite.’
The chav tastic breeding suite.
We are pleased to announce that following expansion, the Kinnock Suite is now renamed the Kinnock Wing.
Like that one E. Aptly named.
Boriss’ bonking Suite.
Suite XVl
For the well groomed client
The Bony Bliar Suite and it comes with a signed memento of you stayed here,for a price of course.
The Queen’s Speech Suite
The beef curtains suite
The Dodgy Dossers Suite
The Boris Johnson Suite is provided with seperate His and Hers rooms, the ‘His’ room benefitting from direct access from outside, complete with revolving door.
The one-eyed vomiting python suite
Dig it, dude.
You are in luck! Our reasonably priced plain and simple ‘Mzzzz Eagle Suite’ is still available.
The Darling Suite. Aw, sweet. :Φ)
The Benn Building (formerly Stansgate Towers) has been developed over several generations, and clients will be served complimentary waffles.
The Speaker’s suite. Complete with low level flush wc and mini bar.
The Ken Clark Suite – No short stays
The Blair-Brown Guantanamo Utility Room.
Water board, Gas poker, and Electric chair are all free, to the right clients.
Taj Hotel II
The Ed Balls Rooms.
Pink Oboe Suite
The “I’m harder than your husband” Suite
thanks for the chuckle
Suite Harriet.
The Shop Floor
The Gaydar Suite
The Suite Fuck All.
*ripple*
The Lawsuite
laughing
don’t stick it on your expenses suite
what would your wife say suite
the jacqui smith suite
the brokeback suite
you’e only going to get found out suite
The Lady T suite
Champagne Socialist suite
Squear Speaker face like a beaker suite
The Harriet harperson non suite suite, a room comprising of a bed for two people regardless of their race, status, political associations, gender, age, height, weight, sex sex suite
The John prescott
The limp wrist
Clapham Common
The Lembit Opik
The Boom and Bust.
(Never to be repeated, sponsored by the Taliban.)
The Aspirations Suite.
The Winging It Millipede Suite.
the farmyard
The Terrorist Suspect Suite –
Stay 90 days without charge.
Book soon, will shortly be reduced to 14
Sister hotel of the Paddington Green
The Winterton’s family suite.
The Timney Suite – comes with unlimited free porn, so no troublesome claims to present to the taxpayer afterwards.
The In-Laws Suite
The Shield of Truth Suite
The Blank suite
A nice little earner
The Whiter-than-White Suite
The Big Society Suite – I’ve heard of it but have no idea where to find it
Room 101
The Presidential Suite.
For some real class – The Ebay Suite
Toot Sweet
The bedbug suite
The Edward Miliband Suite.
Always empty.
The Campbell Suite
Problem is you’ve only got 45 minutes before you have to vacate it,
Suite Tooth.
If it has a sea view;
Obama Beach suite
You won’t get arrested for burning poppies or holding placards threatening to behead people. But you will get arrested for burning the peedo terrorist manual known as the ko ran:
“A teenage girl was arrested on suspicion of inciting religious hatred after allegedly burning an English language version of the Ko ran, police said.
The 15-year-old was questioned and bailed by detectives last Friday after the alleged incident at a school in the Sandwell area of the West Midlands.
She is alleged to have posted footage of the burning booklet on Facebook.”
Killjoy, sir. The teenage girl was white trash with an IQ of 84. We need clever people to start burning the Koran before anyone will take us seriously.
Snob.
The Bailout Suite
The Bercow suite with his n hers seperate sized beds.
The ‘It’s Within The Rules’ Suite.
Ipsa Daisy suite
The Honourable Members Suite aka the ‘Hon’ Suite.
Fuck me. Good one !
The Boris Johnson Suite aka the ‘Toot’ Suite.
Also works, allegedly, for the George Osborne Suite. And the Charles Kennedy Suite.
The Union Leader Suite. No luxury spared. Fully stocked champagne bar, your own butler, fine dining as well as those special little “extras” to make your stay all the more “comfortable”…all paid for from union subs.
I’d prefer the union member fuckers paid than I do so that’s OK.
The Irish bailout suite is a different matter entirely.
The Sticky Sheet Suite
Sally’s Nutcracker Suite.
re 154 — the 100th monkey phenomenon arrives at Guido’s
I knew this would happen.
The Nutcracker Suite
Aka – The Hazel Blear’s Suite.
The ‘Wholly, Exclusively and Necessarily’ Suite.
The ‘Redacted’ Suite.
Suite Violets.
Oooh ! My fucking head hurts.
England 260 all out – sweet !
Let’s hope it’s not ‘gordon wishes england well in the ashes’ suite!!!
Think we’re OK , gordon’s a scot, he doesn’t have a clue about cricket or any other serious sport for that matter!!
just got up then ?
That was first thing this morning !
Do try to keep up !
Jus goin thro the motions etc.
Home Sweet Second Home Suite.
V. Good.
Extra buns for you.
See matron.
A Hoon with a View.
Suite Mother of God.
In honour of Gordon Brown;
The Suite FA
Or Liam Byrne.
The Sausages Suite
Suite home Alabami
The Metropolitan PC Suite, complete with own kettles
Suite Six
teenThe Livingston Suite is decorated in a red theme, with newt-ral details.
Suite Philly on his death bed lay for the love of barmy Harman.
The Bailout Suite.
It’ll cost you £7 Billion and you get to watch paddy bankers laugh at you.
How about?
‘yvette’ll cook your goose for free’ suite?
Suite Tenner.
Dun Spaddin
Blood, Suite and tears.
Actually I think he said ‘Blood, toil, tears and sweat.
So ‘Blood, Toil, Tears’ Suite would work.
Suite Gordie Brown
Oh god, please make it stop
Booty Suite.
The Suite FA
The Bitter Suite – in honour of D. Millipede.
Excellent.
+1
Suite shops ‘r’ us
Welcome to the Brazilian Suite, sir, a favourite of Lord Mandleson.
Welcome to the Smith Suite with free porn movies a speciality, madam.
Welcome to the Ecclesiastical Suite sir for guests with a religious bent?
Welcome to the Hague Suite, sir, with, you will notice a single bed.
Welcome to the Clapham Suite, sir, It has no lights for gentlemen who like a stroll in the dark!
Ah wagner !! I beat simoncowell suite! !
the davemiliwit ‘I won in the end’ suite!!
The foot in mouth suite.
I’m immune to garlic, Howard, suite x.
Suite.
Sarah Tweet Suite – Good selection of munchable rugs.
The swing low suite harriet suite
The Brown leather suite
Suite for my suite ?
Suite as a N.U.T
Revenge is suite. Peace, man.
Hi cheery chaps. Wondering if you’d help us out formulating our happiness survey. Most grateful if you’d answer the following questions:
1) on a scale of 1 to 10 – how happy are you currently?
2) what should the happiness equation be?
3) when were you happiest – and why?
4) what one thing could we Coalites do to make you happier?
Many thanks,
Smiler Dave.
at the moment i am a 3
but if you blow your fucking stupid smug head off
i could make a 9
Now, now… we’re giving you a good deal. There’s no payback at all until you’re earning more than 21 grand. You could commute from Dorking into London for a year for that! (Obviously if you earn more you’ll be paying more tax anyway, but…). See? Cheer up you ungrateful oik.
How the fuck am i gonna make 21k per ann stacking shelves at tesco
How good are you at looking pregnant?
Just to get you in the mood…
The Caroline Flint Suite aka Suite Caroline. Comes with plenty of window dressing.
The EU surrender suite.
Go to the Express for their campaign!
Hey dude !
What recession ?
All is Suite in Downing street
Guido,
I think your optimism was confounded.
Paddy Pantsdown is talking out of his bottom.
The duck (raoul) moat Suite
The but cracker suite
It has been said before in other ways but what about the Fanny Adams Suite
What about the Jacqui Smith Suite, with over 600 on demand porn channels? (sorry if this ones already been done)
Toot suite
For senior conservatives only
The Tailgunners’ Suite.
The Admiralty Suite, big enough to fit all 6 matelots and 120000 senior officers of the Royal Navy
‘The I bent a female intern over the desk and gave her a jolly good rogering but then she threatened to tell my wife so I pushed her onto the jubilee line suite’
Traitor’s Gate does it for me.
“The Gay Gordon Suite” has a nice ring to it, and i should know!