November 24th, 2010

Cameron’s Comedy Turn

While 10,000 kids smash up Whitehall outside, Cameron was entertaining the Lobby lunch, the first PM to do so in 31 years. It must have been a good speech for devout Dave-hater Kevin Maguire to announce that “Cameron witty, smooth, confident, clear and direct in answering questions at today’s press gallery lunch. Impressive”.

Guido could hear the laughter from the cellar. Rory Bremner, warming up, declared “Cameron and Clegg have no mandate (for tuition fees) the only one with a man date is Hague”. However it was Dave’s crack about Simon Burns really tickled him. Apparently once when Bercow told Burn “I’m not happy” the Tory Health Minister quipped “Well, which one are you then?”

UPDATE: Paul Waugh has more of the jokes, but comedy aside DC gave the clearest hint yet he wants David Laws back in the Cabinet “soon”. You can bet on just how soon over at Smarkets where prices on Laws to return have jumped…


205 Comments

  1. 1
    Grumpy says:

    Oi!

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ont careif he is funny , just want him to run the fuckin country

  3. 3
    Mike Litorus says:

    Did they have a dwarf called “Obnoxious little Hunt” then?

  4. 4
    Peter Grimes says:

    The old ones are the best ones, but Berkov is STILL a c u n t!

  5. 5
    Grumpy says:

    Billy is dopey! Ffs.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron remains me of Nero, when Rome burns the fool is playing around with his liar friend and lady boy.

  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    Silly Fokkers now burning wreaths at the Cenotaph

  8. 8
    So which one the bercow? says:

    1.Sneezy
    2.Sleepy
    3.Dopey
    4.Doc
    5.Happy NOT
    6.Bashful
    7.Grumpy

  9. 9
    Grumpy says:

    I feel Happy but he doesn’t like it.

  10. 10
    David Cameron says:

    And my best joke is…………

    …….. Nick Clegg

    Just a mention of his name has the gathering on the floor laughing uncontrollably

  11. 11
    DIRTY SCRUFFY STUDENT BASTARD says:

    They are heading for Downing street
    shoot the bastards

  12. 12
    Engineer says:

    Is there one called ‘Smug’?

  13. 13
    Scary Biscuits says:

    Either Cameron was good or the wine was good for Maguire.

    Also Laws (he of the implausible rent story) will be back in govt soon. Heir to Blair indeed. Honest men like Young kept away. Dishonest cronies can do no wrong.

  14. 14
    Bad Press says:

    I reckon all sympathy is now lost for them.

  15. 15
    Engineer says:

    So at least when Cameron either retires or gets kicked out as PM, he can earn the crust he doesn’t really need as an after-dinner speaker.

  16. 16
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Witty? Repeating someone elses joke?

    Double the dose of smooth and confident then.

  17. 17
    Gordon Brown says:

    A little bit of wee just came out.

  18. 18

    1.Sleezy -Hain
    2.Seepy – Vaz
    3.Dopey – Abott
    4.Doc – Reid
    5.Crappy – Balls
    6.Basher -Prescott
    7.Grumpy – Brown

  19. 19
    nigel jackson says:

    serious question..

    anyone think david cameron could be the best pm since thatcher?

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    There is one called Oik or lady boy and another trying to share a room / bed.

  21. 21
    DIRTY SCRUFFY STUDENT BASTARD says:

    I think that Transit van was put there as bait
    and the silly fuckers fell for it
    look where all the other police vans are parked
    hope it had cameras inside it !

  22. 22
    Wisdom of the crowd says:

    Students are vermin.

  23. 23
    Elsie Beattie says:

    I understood it, dear. Do you have to use rude words to get your point across?

  24. 24
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Re the protests , Can hire a helicopter and drop some shit parcels on there heads ?

  25. 25
    Herr Fritzl says:

    Who is this Guido Fawkes in the cellar ??

    “Guido could hear the laughter from the cellar”

  26. 26
    Tessa Tickles says:

    He’s probably a kweer.

  27. 27
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    As a student I remember someone saying: “Maggie Thatcher- she’s only doing it for her CV”.

    Just an absurdist joke at the time, but I wonder these days, whether PM is a career step before something more lucrative.

  28. 28
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Gimpy?

  29. 29
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Is Fuck a rude word ? i mean we all do it .

  30. 30
    Engineer says:

    So he has to better than Brown, Bliar and Major.

    Cameron could be a rather average PM (and currently the signs are that he will be), and he’d still be streets ahead of the first two, and probably level on points with the third.

  31. 31
    DIRTY SCRUFFY STUDENT BASTARD says:

    no

  32. 32
    blackbyle says:

    Can anyone imagine the Caledonian Cyclops raising a laugh like that one about Simon Burns and the pompous fartlet Bercow ? Had “chippy”, class garbage- carrier Macguire had a Newcastle brown or two too many ?

  33. 33
    Nurse Botha says:

    Keep your weenie out, Mr. Brown, dear. Afternoon wankies in ten minutes. Would you like chocolate hob nobs or digestives with that?

  34. 34
    Vermin says:

    Oi!

  35. 35

    Who’s the one who was a wooden boy? A wooden puppet with someone pulling his strings to make him dance to their tune.

    Then he comes to life, tells a load of porkies and becomes the unexpected leader of the Labour party.

    I like that one.

  36. 36
    13eastie says:

    І’m fuсkіng lоvіng wаtсhіng thеѕе “ѕtudеnt” twаtѕ bеіng kеttlеd оn Whіtеhаll, оn Ѕky Ѕроrtѕ Nеwѕ.

    Іt’ѕ lоvеly аnd wаrm аt my рlасе, І саn uѕе thе bаthrооm аѕ І рlеаѕе аnd еаt аnd drіnk whаt І сhооѕе.

    Мuѕt dаѕh ― сrumреtѕ аrе rеаdy…

  37. 37
    DAVE (all wind ane piss) CAMERON says:

    He is the best prime minister since Gordon Brown
    Now you wouldn’t want that on your CV

  38. 38
    streamfisher says:

    Creepy!

  39. 39
    Tessa Tickles says:

    No.

  40. 40
    Steve Miliband says:

    Worked for Blair
    Brown still at the jobcentre plus

  41. 41
    Reading The Telegraph destroyed my brain says:

    ….Adolf ?

  42. 42
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I think Major was better. And I really really hated him.

  43. 43
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I bet he’s even better than Thatcher.

    At telling jokes.

  44. 44
    6EQUJ5 says:

    Time for a ‘Power Nap’ Billy, we need you on top form with just over 6 hours to go.

  45. 45
    Ed Miliiband says:

    “Mmm…?”

  46. 46
    DAVE (all wind and piss) CAMERON says:

    Gove on the bbc now just said of the students “If they go into the higher paid sector
    ie Banking or BBC Presenting “will start to pay back the loan more quickly
    what a wag he is !

  47. 47
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    I am one off the BBC reporters , And i bumped into a few poor students that may commit suicide because of the savage cuts the unelected coalition are planning .

  48. 48
    Sally-ho ! says:

    Leave my gnome alone, you nasty people.

  49. 49
    David Cameron says:

    I just Samantha some perfume for Xmas.

    The Black guy serving me said, “Would you like me to wrap it?”

    I said, “No thanks, just talking normally is fine”.

  50. 50
    streamfisher says:

    Beg to differ, that one is too wooden ever to come to life.

  51. 51
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Can you narrow it down a bit? Which decade?

  52. 52
    Engineer says:

    Kinoccio?

  53. 53
    Tim Bellend says:

    I once met a black man you know.

  54. 54
    Al says:

    And you ‘Anonymous’ remind me of a talentless, spotty Labour lickspittle…

  55. 55
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Just eaten a huge chicken sandwich, on my second be*er, thinking exactly the same thing.

    I bet it’s cold out there.

  56. 56
    Wisdom of the crowd says:

    Say what you like about Cameron at least he looks and sounds like a leader. Ed Militant looks and sounds like the President of the NUS. He looks out of his depth and sounds like he is speaking at a student’s meeting. He is not leadership material.

  57. 57
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I have some rope if they need assistance.

  58. 58
    streamfisher says:

    No that was Punch and Judy on the beach, happy days.

  59. 59
    Socialist Worker says:

    Tory education secretary Michael Gove blames the Socialist Workers Party for student protests. We’re proud to play our part.

    http://www.socialistworker.co.uk/art.php?id=23188

  60. 60
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Hmm. They may have to start without me. Should make it there for first ball on day three.

  61. 61
    Engineer says:

    It’s REALLY cold out there. Just look at the way they’re all huddled together for warmth.

  62. 62
    Bushcraft says:

    Today’s students are incredibly thick. They don’t even realise that sitting down wind of a smoking fire is not good for the eyes and lungs.

  63. 63
    Tessa Tickles says:

    What about “every woman needs a Willie”?

  64. 64
    student Tweet says:

    just burnd sum reeths.
    of 4 pot nudle & wank now

  65. 65
    Michael Ostomy-Bag says:

    Yeah. It’s still MP for Salford.

  66. 66
    Engineer says:

    I think he blames the National Union of Soapdodgers as well.

  67. 67
    Libertarian Bitch says:

    @Beastie. You read my mind. Who would want to be them. Warm as toast indoors.

  68. 68

    Shouldn’t you two be at work…? (enquires enviously)

  69. 69
    Sophie says:

    So Dave has given a cast iron hint that he wants a thief in Government “soon”.

    Laws will not be the only thief in the cabinet, thats for sure.

    I wonder how much public money an MP would have to steal before they were persona non grata for a pucker troughing top job in Team Dave.

    £100,000?

    £250,000?

    How much theft would be beyond the pale?

  70. 70
    Michael Ostomy-Bag says:

    Are they still following this? I’m gonna nip out for some supplies, then.

  71. 71
    ha ha ha says:

    SociALIST worker party – how about being honest enough to remove workers from your name

  72. 72
    Ho Hum says:

    While Rome is burning , he’s having Lobby Luncheon. A Bit haughty- don’t you think.

    The Guy is an arrogant and conceited. And Neo Con Guido Lovers, you will find out very soon how arrogant and conceited he is.

  73. 73
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I love your website! “A revolutionary anti-capitalist paper in Britain”.

    And then the links to follow you on Twitter and Facebook.

    You couldn’t make it up.

  74. 74
    streamfisher says:

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Al, you remind me of a person cheering in Nuremberg rallies.

  76. 76
    Absent-Minded Old Git says:

    There is an old joke about Snow White sitting on his face but I can’t for the life of me remember what it is ….

  77. 77
    Tachybaptus says:

    Korean concrete pumps never stop working. If the concrete has a chance to set, they’re finished.

  78. 78
    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha says:

    oi knob – I see it as burning rome whilst the lobby is having lunch

  79. 79
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Quite a lot. The EU’s just made off with another £8bn of our dosh, and Dave’s quite happy about it. In fact, I bet you could steal the entire United Kingdom and Dave wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

  80. 80

    “The primary motivation for the creation of the blog was purely to make mischief at the expense of politicians and for the author’s own self-gratification.”

    But you don’t get it, do you….?

    Do you ‘get’ anything..?

  81. 81
    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha says:

    make you own socialist, computers, internet and website eeerrrrrr but you can’t coz socialist are shit and all they can do is protest

    don’t take viagra or wear a condom if capitalist stuff bother you that much

    how about no tampon!

  82. 82
    Lou Scannon says:

    Just been up your chimney, had he ?

  83. 83
    Dorian Smith says:

    I love your appeal for £150,000, you could always try working.

  84. 84
    Sophie says:

    Fuck off Jimmy.

  85. 85
    Oldie but goodie says:

    Snow White thought 7-up was a drink until she discovered Smirnoff.

  86. 86
    Red dwarf says:

    There is little humour to be had from these small minded jokes.

  87. 87
    Engineer says:

    Woolas – why aren’t you thinking up excuses for your possibly-not-forthcoming Judicial Review?

  88. 88
    One warped senior student and NUS leader says:

    Clare Solomon welcomes outsiders into the protest and says it is the police who were the violent ones.

  89. 89
    Rat's arse says:

    Some dopey tart on Sky with some sort of feather in her hair [it could be her brain hanging out] moaning about being penned it. I HOPE THEY KEEP THEM PENNED IN ALL SODDIN NIGHT. Oh, and Berkcow and his fragrant wife [she who smells of whiffy fish] should be in the middle of that lot, so that he can exercise his ‘authority’ and she can ply her trade.

  90. 90
    smoggie says:

    You mean the homophobic ones?

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Sophie, tried joining B*P, they are bit more nasty than the tory once you got. You could enjoy what they do to poor helpless people.

  92. 92
    Hope Clare is un-kettled to make a fool of herself on Newsnight again says:

    She also reckons the Plod purposely left that van parked up so that the press could have shots of the students trashing it.

  93. 93
    smoggie says:

    Good speech or was Toilets well lubricated?

    Or indeed, looking for a job?

  94. 94
    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha says:

    rustle me up some chow mein and a sweet and sour chicken ball please

  95. 95
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I think we need to ask the 3rd umpire .

  96. 96
    I hate New Labour says:

    So Cameron gives a good speech while actually achieving very little.

    Heir to Blair indeed…

  97. 97
    Sophie says:

    I am a right wing English nationalist libertarian & I agree with you about team Dave.

  98. 98
    smoggie says:

    We don’t pay the police to stand back and not hit anyone. Get stuck in lads!

  99. 99
    Marmite says:

    Oh God. and this pile of muck is the future generation.

  100. 100
    Gordon Brown says:

    I was a student once

  101. 101
    Our 'azel Blears says:

    Well at least I am not a ginger rodent.

  102. 102
    Rat's arse says:

    Got a job thanks for asking smoggie. I’m ready to go on the night shift at A & E.
    .
    You got a job?

  103. 103
    100th says:

    Fap fap

  104. 104
    streamfisher says:

    Where’s the punch line?.

  105. 105
    misterned says:

    It did, quite a few cemeras.

    Burning wreaths at the cenotaph? Oh well that fucks them totally.

    They are the most stupid, braindead, retarded, idiotic, clueless fuckwits ever to protest.

    But what do you expect from students who have exclusively been educated under labour?

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    1.Sleezy -Nick
    2.Seepy – Cable
    3.Dopey – Osborne (more like cokey)
    4.Doc – None (we have a stupid bunch)
    5.Crappy – Cameron
    6.Basher – Clark
    7.Grumpy – May
    8. Bi – Hague

  107. 107
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido , Any chance of a Ashes post to mark the begining of the greatest sporting battle this year ?

  108. 108
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Ditto.

  109. 109
    smoggie says:

    Right! Socialism produces nothing worthwhile because it suppresses innovation and endeavour.

    All their exports are packaged in cattle trucks or shell casings. Ask the South Koreans.

    And Socialist “Worker” here would have us start from Year Zero again.

    Socialism and Democracy are incompatible.

  110. 110
    Not the best thing to do in trying to gain public support says:

    Makes a change from the usual pissing on War memorials on Freshers nights

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1220579/Carnage-Shame-drunken-student-caught-urinating-war-memorial-mass-pub-crawl.html

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    Unlucky, Tat.

    Go for 200.

  112. 112
    smoggie says:

    Yes thanks.

  113. 113
    Rat's arse says:

    Can’t wait Billy. Hope we do ourselves proud!

  114. 114
    Media Wankers says:

    No Solomons not the future shes middle aged and pushing 40 for christ sakes. Someone one should ask where when she intends to graduate.

  115. 115
    Martin Day-Miliband says:

    Coalition of Resistance: Can’t Pay, Won’t Pay
    ‎2,000 STUDENTS SURROUND POLITICAL BLOGGER,GUIDO FAWKES.

  116. 116
    Tim Bellend says:

    I quite like the saab drakken, but not the citroen DS.

  117. 117
    smoggie says:

    Yeah, like who has been sha­gging Clarke’s missus.

  118. 118
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Going to be wicked , Watching the Aussies get there butts kicked at home …

  119. 119
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Most of the aussie team

  120. 120
    Tim Bellend says:

    Is that enough? Are they touching their fingertips together?

    puddledum-tish

  121. 121
    Ricky Ponting says:

    Are you kidding, mate ?

    David Cameron won’t go near “The Gabba”

    Let the sledging commence

  122. 122
    Sophie says:

    “Sophie, tried joining B*P”

    Sorry, socialist partys of all descriptions are collectivist evil personified, but then you eugenics supporting fabians know that already.

    I remain an English libertarian, currently donating money & support to UKIP.

    You are dismissed.

  123. 123
    Maximus says:

    Sounds like they’re both up for it. The point of protesting against HE tuition fees rather than anything else that comes to mind is that it’s an excuse for the agitators to get a load kids into the crowds. So when Plod goes to kettle them all for a few hours, they can shout “Oi, [political + other expletives deleted] think of the kiddies”.

  124. 124
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Sophie , Its Out ! raising a finger as well .

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    You would!

  126. 126
    smoggie says:

    PS Ratarse, my comment was a new one referring to Maguire’s tweet on Cameron not a reply to yours.

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    You sound quite daft too.

  128. 128
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ” Mind the windows Tino ”

    You are going to lose again .

    EASY , EASY , EASY !

  129. 129
    smoggie says:

    And a few Aussie Rules boys.

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    FFS.

    Twats with bats.

  131. 131
    AC1 says:

    Good day to bury new of systematic islamic sexual abuse

    http://news.sky.com/skynews/Article/201009115826644

  132. 132
    Gordon Brown - fucking mentalist says:

    I will be travelling back to report to the House at 5 pee emm and, uh

    Good bye

  133. 133
    streamfisher says:

    But only until you were aged 38, imagine that now £9000 a year for twenty years = £180,000, money well spent by the state I would say.

  134. 134
    Tim Loveboys says:

    Hello, my name’s Tim Loveboys and I’m an absolute wanker.

  135. 135
    V Reasonable (Mrs) says:

    Fucking hell, they really are dirty bastards.

  136. 136
    smoggie says:

    In thirty years they’ll be running the country. Oh, joy.

  137. 137
    AC1 says:

    Romes due to burn after Lisbon and Madrid.

  138. 138
    Gary Glitter says:

    Wanna be in my gang?

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    Sophie; might be EDL will suit you.

  140. 140
    Billy 'backstairs' Hague says:

    Fuck me!

  141. 141
    AC1 says:

    Marxism and an economy are incompatible.

  142. 142
    Sky Snooze - hoping for a mass riot says:

    Police or students?

  143. 143
    Divy Miliband Tweets says:

    I have been asked to open a new 99p shop. the mangager thinks I am a penny short of a pound.

  144. 144
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’d like to wish South Britain all the best for the cricket.

  145. 145
    AC1 says:

    2 Comment #9s. Well done the guidobase!

  146. 146
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Cun t !

  147. 147
    AC1 says:

    Haha, what country? They might be lording it over EUSSR region #7

  148. 148
    Unsworth says:

    So you’re as old as that?

  149. 149
    Sophie says:

    Sophie; might be EDL will suit you”.

    I have no quarrel with any English patriot.

    Your point was again?

  150. 150
    Abdul al-Ramadamadingdong says:

    No, Smoggie. In 30 years, we’ll be running the country.

  151. 151
    Martin Day BBC Political Correspondent says:

    Guido Fawkes risked controversy today as he “kettled” several hundred protesters after clashes during student tuition fee protests.

    Demonstrators were penned in by political bloggers in Whitehall after a stranded police van was attacked and vandalised.

    Guido Fawkes said he will bring in portable toilets and water but he said it was unclear how long people would have to remain.

  152. 152
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    “Sophie; might be EDL will suit you.”

    Poor grammar, Labour edukation?!

  153. 153
    Lou Scannon says:

    About knee-high.

  154. 154
    damp ops says:

    Stranded? It was planted!

  155. 155
    DAVE (all wind and piss) CAMERON says:

    Wow it looks sooooo cold down there in London
    i think 3 o’clock in the morning would be a good time to release them when all their caches have left all public transport has finished and all the pubs are shut so they can’t have a nice cold beer and reflect on their days rioting !
    fucking vermin !

  156. 156
    Anonymous says:

    Sophie; when you see your EDL friends ask them who they vote.

  157. 157
    Ed Miliband says:

    I will start filling my blank piece of paper as soon as Len and Charlie tell me what to white

  158. 158

    I’m not homophobic – i just hate air stewards.

  159. 159
    Tessa Tickles says:

    This is all getting a bit weird.

  160. 160

    Sorry, you labour troll. but it was your lot that fucked this country beyond saving.
    Please fuck off and die.

  161. 161
    Student Grant says:

    Please let me out of the kettle, I have got to go to school in the morning

  162. 162
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I wonder if Dave will be picking up the tab for those, too.

    (I know the answer, please don’t depress me.)

  163. 163
    Geoff Cunt says:

    I’m an absolute Hoon. Just wanted to make that clear.

  164. 164
    Hannibal Lecter says:

    I’m not fussy.

  165. 165
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Systemic?

  166. 166
    Audley Harrison says:

    No I cant !

  167. 167
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    They are in short supply

  168. 168
    Tim Bellend says:

    I have nothing to say.

  169. 169
    Hague the Vague says:

    I love it when you talk nasty!

  170. 170
    nell says:

    I’ve been wondering who would be good to act as edmilitwit’s press/policy adviser y’know like coulson is to cameron?

    It has to be maguire doesn’t it?

  171. 171
    Von Rumpy Pumpy says:

    You bet he will. He will even paint a target on his arse for me.

  172. 172
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Polly ?

  173. 173

    I’m Korean today, not Chinese……you plick.

  174. 174
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Is it snowing :-)

  175. 175

    Cameron is a joke. Full Stop. As a Conservative, that is.

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    THE PARAGNOSTIC; I accept labour fucked it but the present one is trying to screw the country where ever there is a hole.

    Its more like abusive husband was replaced by violent pimp.

  177. 177
    The bowler's Holding the batsman's Willey says:

    “Students” shout “Tory scum, Tory scum”

    When was the last time you saw a Tory?

  178. 178
    M says:

    I’m just taking the piss.

  179. 179
    Michael Ostomy-Bag says:

    I’m just taking the piss.

  180. 180
    混凝土输送泵 says:

    Give it two weeks.

  181. 181
    Tessa Tickles says:

    What’s the temperature due to fall to tonight in Whitehall? Metcheck says -3 (feels like -7C).

    Right, forget school, you’re not going to see dawn. A human kidney goes for $100K in the US. 3,000 demonstrators x 2 kidneys each = $600m. That’s a bit of Labour’s de*bt-mountain sorted.

    Ta.

  182. 182
    My keyboard is rat-arsed says:

    Tinky Winky?

  183. 183
    Tinky Winky says:

    1989?

  184. 184
    Double-dip Dave's hairpiece says:

    I’d just like to wish West and North Britain bon voyage on your journey of self-discovery.

  185. 185
    6EQUJ5 says:

    Police put the kettle on
    Police put the kettle on
    Police put the kettle on
    But the students want to wee.

  186. 186
    13eastie says:

    Wоrk gеnеrаlly tаkеѕ рlасе оnсе а yеаr іn Jаnuаry аnd іnvоlvеѕ mееtіng оnе’ѕ ассоuntаnt tо ѕіgn оnе’ѕ tаx rеturn аnd wrіtе а bіg fuсkіng сhеquе tо НМRС.

    Іt’ѕ nоt ѕоmеthіng І саrе fоr оnе jоt аnd І сеrtаіnly wоuld nоt wаnt tо ѕее any increase in the frequency of its incidence.

  187. 187
    Tell it like it really is says:

    Five years ago the b & p were trying to get action taken on this after parents who went to the police were told “it happpens, get used to it.”

  188. 188
    Just Sayin' Like... says:

    Filthy bastards.

  189. 189

    Almost certainly.
    Seems that war in Afghanistan wasn’t a complete waste of time, life, money and prestige. It taught us that if something looks a bit convenient…don’t go near it.

  190. 190

    Shhh.. quiet Audrey. Doc said rest your jaw for at least 6 weeks.

  191. 191

    Still not decided what to do Ed?

    How about a Gap year?

  192. 192
    the old Dufflebag says:

    Thatcher was lucky that she had pretty much a blank canvas to work on as there had been virtually nothing radically new in British politics since the development of the welfare state after the second world war. Whilst reviled by many she did apply a whole new way of doing things..turned many situations upside down and shook the economy back into life….changed the dominance of the unions… brought in the denationalisation programme and gave ‘right to buy’.

    These three elements alone were enough to put her in the history books…add the rest and she stands tall. No prime minister could achieve so much these days as there are not the opportunities to be really radical in a reforming sense as most of the ground has been covered.

  193. 193
    Anonymous says:

    Straying a bit far from Itaewon today, aren’t you. Better hurry back, it’s your turn on the pole.

  194. 194
    Anonymous says:

    Stop complaining. Don’t you realise you’re being culturally enriched. Lie back and feel the vibrancy.

  195. 195
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    I think she’s saying “Quick Pinocchio tell another lie”

  196. 196
    LipsMoving?Lying says:

    “Cameron witty, smooth, confident, clear and direct in answering questions at today’s press gallery lunch. Impressive”.

    It was a liquid lunch I presume?

  197. 197
    It'sAlreadyTooLate says:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/8158037/Education-White-Paper-teachers-to-be-given-personality-tests.html?source=newswidget

    “Government will force would-be teachers to take aptitude tests and undergo personality screening before being accepted on to courses.”

    Prospective MPs next?

  198. 198
    Who Gives A Fuck says:

    I don’t actually think 10,000 students are smashing up London. Many hundreds/thousands are being held against their will for 4 hours now in the cold London night. Could be one of your children??? Are you sayiug no one has the right to protest???

    But the violence perpetrated by the authorities towards the British population was always bound to be challenged in some form or other. The complacent majority in this country have allowed their lives to be taken away and their futures ruined. Let’s make the right connections shall we rather than admire from afar the ‘jokery’ of the politicians – who frankly don’t give a fuck about the population

  199. 199
    Anonymous says:

    Apparently some parents of protesting students have complained to the police about their little darlings being kept outside when it’s so cold!

  200. 200
    Mr Big says:

    I’m turning on the showers for you now boys

  201. 201
    Anonymous says:

    One of my sons went on the last student demo and I warned him it would be hijacked by troublemakers and turn violent. He peacefully made his point, kept away from the violence and then went to the pub before catching the coach back to uni.
    If he’d gone on this demo and got ” kettled” by cops I would tell him it was tough shit. I certainly wouldn’t be moaning about his treatment by the authorities. These protestors are being treated with kid gloves compared to some of the violent scenes I’ve witnessed on demos before.

  202. 202
    Tessa Tickles says:

    OK. Their kidneys can be collected and sold, too.

  203. 203
    Hugh ffishingly-Whittlingstool says:

    Pyongyang U, Juche 101.

  204. 204
    Worthless Lb Den pledge says:

    No more broken promises and cast iron promises wants an expense fiddler back in Cabinet. Almost as good as his pledge to stick up for UK in Europe, the Eurocrats got a 3.7% pay rise today- Baroness Ashton got £9,00 extra to her £241,000 salary. May’s speech on immigration was laughable. He is starting to make Gordon look good.

  205. 205
    Jethro Q. Walrus-Titty says:

    GET BERCOW !


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George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


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