November 15th, 2010

The Birrell Bandwagon Rolls On

He is wounded, but without a smoking gun Coulson isn’t going to be forced anywhere. However let us just say a few months into the new year a job offer he can’t refuse might arise and off he goes. Whenever Coulson leaves, and in whatever way; be it disgraced, or off back to News Corp., British Petroleum or a spin merchants at board level there will be one hell of a power vacuum in Number 10. There is no way that the control-freakish Steve Hilton isn’t going to want to fill the post with one of his own. One of the Zen Men so to speak…

Since months before the election the name of Ian Birrell has been floating around CCHQ and wider Tory-circles.  Since they sing from the same hymn sheet it seems likely that Hilton wants the Big Society enthusiast and former deputy-editor of the Indy inside Downing Street. Other than being a mate of Dave and Steve’s what is it about Birrell that is so desirable? Even ConservativeHome today calls for Birrell and three other people to be added to the No.10 machine, despite the Tories promising to cut the number of political advisers. Is something afoot? Birrell’s big-society, blue-sky, Cameroon credentials are not entirely to ConservativeHome’s taste…

UPDATE : Well connected source texts speculating that he could replace Ed Llewellyn, Dave’s chief-of-staff. Hmmm…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Its not there money its ours !!!!

  2. 2
    Gerry Mandering says:

    Interested in the job Guido

  3. 3
    Spelling. says:

    It’s. Their. !!!!

  4. 4
    Selohesra says:

    That’s not the first time BB has been picked up on that error – write it out 100x

  5. 5
    Zen jock says:

    Zen Men?

  6. 6
    sockpuppet #4 says:


  7. 7
    Sir William Waad says:

    Out of the crooked timber of humanity no straight thing was ever made, if I may say so.

  8. 8

    I’ve got it!

    Michael J Fox…

  9. 9
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    O/T But ithought this was a good piece

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    I see the big T is about to use more part time people to work “slivers of time” during seasonal periods of intense activity:

    I just wondered whether it would be a good idea to apply that same principle to parliamentary matters?

    Like… have 2 or more MP’s to share the same number of hours. Benefits included reducing the number of unemployed.

    Mind you, I recall a former PM who was known among friends as the Lord of Slither.

    Oh I forgot that system already exists – we have Camerlegg.

  11. 11
    Albi Here says:

    If Coulson was that good,cast iron Dave wouldn’t need the services of a gang of tailcoat hangers on hungry for power,he would be in sole charge,even with sh*tehawk Brown in charge and everything going wrong did Coulson do any good batting did he fcuk,he’s a waste of money and the sooner he goes the better.

  12. 12
    Ewanme says:

    Hiya , Guido , petal xx .

    Yeah ….. but ain’t this tittle-tattle bout some nobody wot no one’s heard of ???

    When you gonna give us somethin juicy to type about then , darlin ??

    Your compliant co-conspiritual ,

    E xx .

  13. 13
    Metric Martyr says:

    ‘ Is something afoot ? ‘

    Yes, my twelve inch ruler is.

  14. 14
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    There >>>>>

  15. 15
    Labour Lost says:

    Birrell seems ok. The Conservatives should be careful that the inner circle is not to cumbersome. The tories would benefit from seeking the views of the public and staying in touch with what is going on in the real world and empowering the ordinary man/woman to help resolve the difficult issues that the government and people have to deal with everyday.

  16. 16
    Unpaid Marketing Pawn says:


  17. 17
    Labours financial leg-arsey (not one to stand on) says:

    Meanwhile it looks like UK will have to foot 12% of the Irish bailout under a European agreement we signed. Well actually Labour signed after they were voted out and while they were dicking about with a rainbow coalition of misfits.

    This was the agreement that Darling signed without consulation and the Jonah blessed which push the UK chips ‘all-in’ ……..we are about to get ‘called’

    F%^KI^NG B#^$ards

  18. 18
    Unpaid Marketing Pawn says:

    BB, don’t feel bad! I often type your instead you’re.

  19. 19
    streamfisher says:

    My todger is, but I don’t use it as a rule.

  20. 20
    smoggie says:

    Aye…. Back to The Fuckups.

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    He does. Everyday, on heir.

  22. 22
    The Golem says:

    Too right! Zed Men more like it.

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    You’re what?.

  24. 24
    smoggie says:

    difficult issues that … people have to deal with everyday. piles? What the fuck is the Coalition doeing about my grapes?!! I’ll tell ya….


    You know what, I think I’ll throw a fire extinguisher off a roof. That should do the trick.

  25. 25
    g1lgam3sh says:

    ‘Their’ Billy :-)

  26. 26
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    ah crap. you made me look.

  27. 27
    Unpaid Marketing Pawn says:


  28. 28
    Maximus says:

    ‘Big Society’ sounds like the front half of a slogan they could all agree on before they got bored and went down the pub. But what should follow it?

    ‘, Little Government’ or
    ‘, Big Brother’ or
    ‘ of peons’ or

  29. 29
    2 Shags n 2 Jags (paid by the Chinese) says:

    Cameroon should be obliged to read this blog every day before going to bed

    He would learn and lot

    And have a giggle…

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    ‘… another load of bollx to cover up the continued lying and thieving’ ?

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Not more BLUE SKY THINKING, everyone is sick to dead that expression used under one Dis. Hon T. B’Liar, the clouds were building up, and the blessed Tone saw only blue sky

  32. 32
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    All these unelected people paid by the state from our taxes to do what exactly?

    Those republicans whingeing about the Queen on their website, at least she has a role in British society. Perhaps the republican tendency should turn their attention to the political hangers on.

  33. 33
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Perhaps like the windmill. Dave really did think it would work!

  34. 34
    The Apostrophe Police says:

    And it’s “it’s”.

  35. 35
    HIGNFY production team, huddled around screen waiting for our next free gag says:

    We, too, are losing interest. Might look to Heffer’s column for some material.

  36. 36
    Sir William Waad says:

    You will have a grey suit, a phone and a shifty expression. You will be able to lie without blushing, mentally beat up journalists, prevaricate and spin. If you swallow a nail, you will sh*t a corkscrew. Candidates should send a brief summary (in any medium) of why black is white and a press release explaining why bears only ever use en suite toilet facilities.

    –== PlausibleRogue ==– Making Superstars Shine since 2006

  37. 37
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Isn’t Heffer’s column essentially a cut-and-paste of what he cut-and-pasted the week before, and the week before, and the week before, and the week before..?

    I stopped reading it many months ago, I must admit. Maybe it’s improved.

  38. 38
    streamfisher says:

    Mr Blue Sky please tell us why you had to hide away for so long?

  39. 39
    Sir William Waad says:

    It sounds like a Pride movement for the circumferentially challenged. You know, Big Society blocking The Mall, marching three abreast, to protest against sizism.

  40. 40
    Tessa Tickles says:

    That could work..

    But how about we have one MP – just one – who does the work of, say, 648 MPs (or however many there are)?

    This one MP’s one and only duty is to stop spending £750bn every year that we don’t have. In other words, to not do stuff. I think one MP could just about manage that. Maybe we’d have to heavily sedate him, though.

  41. 41
    James says:

    Sadly, he would learn that most of those who post here are very sad individuals who, like me, should get put more.

  42. 42
    Schoolboy, 37 and three quarters says:

    When I was 16, I used to read The Mail for Fred Bassett and the weather forecast.
    I’m sure Heffer’s set-piece column was appearing there, even then.

  43. 43
    Labour Lost says:

    @smoggie, calm down put the fire extinguisher slowly down on the ground. I meant in a political and economic context.
    True, the govt is only wants our opinion when they are about to lose an election and when it is too late.
    We are not the enemy we just want to live in a better, freer and prosperous country.
    aNUSol cream may help yer farmer giles.

  44. 44
    pawn to king 4 says:

    I’m overloaded already, mate. Try walking unaided, pal.

  45. 45
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    But what about graphics fidelety ?

  46. 46
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    O/t if any comfort its not just English taxpayers that get fucked .

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Cunch of Bunts.

    That is just typical of the old eyed scottish criminal idiot.

  48. 48
    G Roddenberry says:

    Cleggeron, you mean.
    See, we’re controlled by aliens.

  49. 49

    I don’t wish to sound facetious smoggie but a carefully supplied stream of CO2 sprayed directly on to piles from a fire extinguisher could be quite soothing……


    In fact, if you got the CO2 to hit said Clements dead on, you could freeze them off.


  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Sure its not some kind of a Condom Club?

  51. 51
    Jerzy Polielusko, Martyr for the Freedom of Poland says:


    Re your twitter “Right to life”

    There must be a serious debate about the killing of small human beings
    under the so-called abortion laws.

    I write this not be raise howls from the luvvies

    But because we still do not know when a foetus becomes a human being..

    And all the luvvies (? murderers) in the world cannot cry that is a problem uniquely for women to deal with

    It is a problem of all men and women who do not believe in legalised murder

    Can there be a real debate in Britain about the right to life ?

  52. 52
    Archer Karcher says:

    Another legacy that Labour and retardED left, is the £18.4 billion a year, for the next forty years, that Red Ed’s committment to an 80% cut in CO2 will cost.
    All paid for via ever higher energy and heating bills by the proles, you know the very same bills the political class force us to pay for them, in their expense claims.

  53. 53
    no longer anonymous says:

    I see Sky have identified the face of the cock who chucked the fire extinguisher.

  54. 54
    A professor of demograhics says:

    Quite right

    But there is another aspect to this


    The local populations in almost every European are collapsing (especially Germany, Eastern Europe, Russia and Scandinavia)

    This fashion of abortion (whether ethically right or wrong) is opening the door
    to mass immigration which will result in the Islamification of Europe within 50 years…

    And the end of European civilisation…

    Are all “luvvies” blind as well ?

  55. 55
    smoggie says:

    I’ll pass. So to speak.

  56. 56
  57. 57
    smoggie says:

    The same people demanding the right of life or death over unborn children are the same ones who will rise to the defence of a filthy fox.

    You see, vermin have more rights that humans in the socialist utopia.

  58. 58
    Look. I don't care what your politics are; just make me laugh FFS. And stop modding me. says:

    Blogging, particularly political blogging, is so passé. YAWN.

  59. 59
    Rasta Bob says:

    Hi Guido,

    I want to apply for Steve Hiltin’s job..

    I have already had the pleasure to visit your site and advertise my wares

    I am Rasta Bob, your friendly supplier, (especially the House of Commons, but I even have have a few Lords and Lordesses now)

    I can do a better job than Hilton any day…

    I see blue skies every nite…(you know what I mean)…

  60. 60
    13eastie says:


    Unеlесtеd Lаbоur рееr Fаlсоnеr hаѕ fаіlеd іn hіѕ bіd tо рrеvеnt thе соаlіtіоn frоm ѕtаrtіng оur muсh-nееdеd еlесtоrаl rеfоrm рrосеѕѕ.

    Аl-Jаbееbа іѕ guttеd.

  61. 61
    Rasta Bob says:

    PS My only handicap, for obvious reasons, is that I do not have
    a mobile ‘phone…

    But I suppose No 10 could always lend me one…

  62. 62
    Jerzy Polielusko, Martyr for the Freedom of Poland says:

    Sadly no Sir

  63. 63
    Archer Karcher says:

    I could smell the stench coming off of him from the photo. Plod better be wearing full bio hazard kit, when they go around to collar him.

  64. 64
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I believe in choice , Some women get preggers by being abused/raped , I think that is a good enough reson (If the woman wants ) to have the choice of abortion , Every circumstance is different , You can not just have a one size fits all answer on such a complacated issue

  65. 65
    Put-out Guy says:

    Yes, indeed. You should get put more often.

  66. 66
    Chairman of the Electoral Society says:

    Lord Forkbender, the acolyte of the Tony the Grinning Multiillionire Ape,

    Ex- Lord Chancellor, FFS, and now morally depraved

    Would do anything to stop the electoral reform process…

    And especially to keep the built in advantage of Zanu Labour

    What scum…

  67. 67
    Honest citizen says:

    I agree

    But the real question is

    When does a foetus become a human being ?

    4 weeks, 8 weeks 12 weeks …?

    My (atheist) wife is worried about this as I am…

    Are we murdering children en masse ?

  68. 68
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Kant! Sorry, that was not personal!

  69. 69
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I dont know ! Some of the religoues people will say it has a soul , some will say x,y of z , I think its something you can only deal with if you are going throiugh it .

  70. 70
    Vera Drake says:

    I personally would not have an abortion. I would never impose my views on another woman. We are all individuals in individual circumstances. However, if there is SCIENTIFIC evidence that supports lowering the abortion time limit then it should be reduced. It is in the interest of the women to know that they have caused no pain or suffering to a feotus.
    It is not a good idea to criminalise abortion it leads to more suffering and back street abortions.

  71. 71
    streamfisher says:

    A near run thing, Napoleon must now retreat with his haemorrhoids.

  72. 72
    Sir William Waad says:

    Reducing the number of MPs is a bad idea because it will increase the power of the Executive. Less MPs means there will be a higher percentage of MPs who are shackled to the Government or its shadow, unless at the same time the number of ministerial posts is cut, which is most unlikely.

  73. 73
    Tosser says:

    Not forgetting the double negative!

  74. 74
    Abbreviation Police says:

    its = belonging to
    it’s = it has, it is

  75. 75
    streamfisher says:

    You are not really the Chairman of the Electoral Reform Society are you?,…Pity.

  76. 76
    ModBot says:

    Please don’t get the hump because your Sally Bercow gag didn’t get past me.

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:


  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    “argues is designed to rig the electoral system.”

    I think the idea is to undo said changes Liebour made to make sure they stayed in power.

  79. 79
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    In that case I would put a limit on the number of paid, expensed ministerial posts. The trouble is, whatever their best intentions, they nearly all go native within minutes of getting inside the place. Suggest they examine the air conditioning to see if drugs are pumped in.

  80. 80
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    In Prescott’s case, never.

  81. 81
    Gonk says:

    You ought to consider it yourself Guido.
    You can’t do this stuff forever.Think of the perks.
    Paternity leave, decorating leave, massive hols,
    big money and enormous pension.

  82. 82
    streamfisher says:

    Mori poll: On the subject of back street abortions please fill in the form below, should Gordon have been terminated at 36 weeks or sooner?.
    1) Yes.
    2) Earlier
    Thank you for your time, you may qualify for a £5 pounds Boots voucher.

  83. 83
    fuck up says:

    The cut in legal aid is a disgrace. But let’s keep crooks out of prison. Good one, Ken.

  84. 84
    Zen From Blake's 7 says:


  85. 85
    A Pope XXIV says:

    I) Read the bible.

    II) Worship me.

    III) Don’t have intimate relations with any alien being.

    IV) If you do, DON’T use a condom – find a smaller hole.

    V) If she won’t consent, try a choirboy.

    VI) If he squeals, deny everything.

    Bless you, my son.

  86. 86
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I told you all it was michael bolton
    He’s looking a bit rough inty?

  87. 87
    Yazmin Alibye Down says:

    I’m reporting you all to the police.

  88. 88
    Susie says:

    First things first…

    I somehow doubt there’ll be a Euro in its present form by next year with the ECB holiding 2 trillion euros worth of government junk bonds.

  89. 89
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fuck off and asume the position ( For stoning )

  90. 90
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Rosie Vela singing with G Lynne. I would not have climbed over her to get to him.

  91. 91
    J K Money-Grubbing-Slag says:

    The corruption of the dirty filth in parliament is staggering. MPs (and their evil wives and fitly children need to be burned). What the Hell is wrong with this country – why can’t we burn MPs and their evil families?

  92. 92
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Now that would up there as a vote winner with leaving the fuckin EU .

  93. 93
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Do they sell snack pots in Guildford?

  94. 94
    13eastie says:

    Вut іn рrасtісе, Віll?

    Тhеy аrе аll whірреd іntо lіnе. Whеn dіd yоu lаѕt ѕее thе gоvеrnmеnt rеіgnеd іn by bасk-bеnсhеrѕ? Аnd аnywаy, yоu соuld аrguе іnѕtеаd thаt thе еffесt оf а ѕіnglе dеfесtіоn ІNСRЕАЅЕЅ аѕ numbеrѕ (аnd mаjоrіtіеѕ) соmе dоwn.

    Тhеy аrе (vіrtuаlly) аll thіеvіng trоughеrѕ. Аnd thе оnеѕ lurkіng іn thе ѕhаdоwѕ hаvе bееn аѕ bаd аѕ аny.

    Тhе fасt thаt wе іnѕtаllеd hundrеdѕ mоrе іn Еdіnburgh аnd Саrdіff ѕhоuld hаvе mаdе mаny МР’ѕ rеdundаnt аgеѕ аgо.

    Іf thе рrісе оf fіxіng thе gеrrymаndеrеd еlесtоrаl ѕyѕtеm іѕ ѕеndіng а fеw оf Lаbоur’ѕ trоughіng hооnѕ fоr аn еаrly bаth, yоu wоn’t ѕее mе ѕhеddіng аny tеаrѕ…

  95. 95
    Joe Soap says:

    Because the public have every faith in our Parliamentarians, and the selfless work they do for little reward.
    That’s why they keep electing them back into Parliament.

  96. 96
    'ello willy says:

    You can get your rocks off on me if like luvvie.

  97. 97
    Joe Soap says:

    I’ll wager you’ve got a rock hard for her, Billy.

  98. 98
    pok ting tang says:

    Billy, you must have a fucking laptop strapped to your dick all day the amount of comments you make. Jeez.

  99. 99
    Sarah Macauley says:

    Mr Brown, please don’t kick bins at me.

  100. 100
    Yazmin Alibye Down says:

    I’m reporting you to Trevor Philips.

  101. 101
    streamfisher says:

    But if you are intelligent enough to be pragmatic, the lessons of history. As regards these puffed up Mussolini’s it inevitably leads to a length of rope or a firing squad, that Nicolae Ceauşescu moment. I will light up a Hamlet cigar.

  102. 102
    Shami Chuckrafarty says:

    Abu Hamza is a political martyr.

  103. 103
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You are confusing me with someone that gives a fuck !

  104. 104
    Muzbot follower of peedo prophet says:

    Sounds much very good to me!

  105. 105
    Yazmin Alibye Down says:

    I’m reporting you to Liberty and Shami Cackrafunny.

  106. 106
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Thats scared me ……………………….not !

  107. 107
    Rich says:

    I don’t understand why people seem to think Coulson leaving (voluntarily or otherwise) would be such a big loss.
    Government PR under his watch has been an absolute shambles – look at the handling of announcement of child benefit cuts
    I don’t know if Coulson was behind Hague’s opening up to the public following rumours around his private life – but it was completely cringeworthy
    I hear Coulson advised Boris Johnson to publicly admit that he fathered a child to a mistress. BoJo’s London PR adviser told him to not to say anything and it would go away – and apparently it has.
    The only potential damage to government is that judgement will be questioned on the appointment of Coulson in the first place.

  108. 108
    Andy Couslon says:

    Nice puff piece GF. Liked the way you pretended to hedge everything in idle speculation yet still defended me to the hilt.
    Your monthly cheque is in the post.

  109. 109
    Andy Coulson says:

    Nice puff piece GF. Liked the way you pretended to hedge everything in idle speculation yet still defended me to the hilt.
    Your monthly cheque is in the post

  110. 110
    Thank you for all your pledges says:

    No refunds!

    I’m off to the pub.

  111. 111
    Elsie Beattie says:

    Oh, what joy! This lovely aria starts playing when my Teasmade gurgles into life at 0545 GMT every morning.
    How do we oldies post? our songs on this, thoroughly entertaining, interweb log site, dear?
    Help an old lady, if you can.

  112. 112
    Dead Tree Press Regurgitator says:

    Well it’s not as if the Daily Mail are going to give him another Hague ‘scoop’ any time soon.

  113. 113
    Fat Police Informer for hire. CCHQ will supply references. says:

    But are you offering a $1000 reward for squealing to the piggies?

  114. 114
    Murdoch's mini-me says:

    Because the dirty secret is that he might be shit at public relations but Couslon still has Murdoch and his minions on speed-dial as well as most of the street of shames other editors. He is there primarily as a go-between.

  115. 115
    Religious Fanatics are Scum says:

    Fucking hell!

    Is this the Popes blog now?

    Some of these twats need to learn this isn’t America or Saudi Arabia where religious nutters are actually listened to instead of mocked.

  116. 116
    Guido is either behind or very far behind that is because he is a fat sweaty cunt says:


    Coulson’s a fucking dead man walking, Guido.

    Do try to keep up.

  117. 117
    Can't remember he's a belgian banker pedo says:

    Why ? Are you planning to go grooming there instead of Belgium ?

  118. 118
    streamfisher says:

    Methinks you are trying to take the piss Elsie, please remind me to shove you in front of a bus sometime… soon.

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    LLewellen would be a welcome move but dave’s bald Igor may be having other thoughts.

  120. 120
    Susie says:

    He knows windmills don’t work already.

    The trouble is wind turbines are one of Siemens’ major products — and Siemens is Germany’s main corporation. Germany’s not allowed to make armaments so all that’s left for them is stupid windmills. He’s being nice to Merkel at the expense of our landscapes, wildlife habitats (on and off-shore) and electricity bills.

  121. 121
    Rhetorical question says:

    Am I the only one amazed that there is appaently “one hell of a power vacuum in Number 10″ just because a P.R. job is vacant? Why on earth is an unelected post/person able to weild such apparent power!

  122. 122
    NotW_Scumbag says:

    Coulson looks sleazy enough to be a porn merchant. Maybe he can get a job with Dirty Des if he’s too radioactive to go back to the Dirty Digger.

    Certainly doesn’t reflect well on Dave, whose integrity is eroded every day this scumbag is still working for him.

  123. 123

    And the silly bastard believes in the climate change scam.

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