November 10th, 2010

Woolas Staffer Eyes Oldham

Guido is hearing rumours that the bun-fight has already begun to be the Labour candidate in the Oldham by-election and soundings are well underway. One well-placed-red says Shona Woodfine, who has been Phil’s long-suffering bag-carrier, is positively gagging for the nomination. And has made that clear to the party machine…

This wouldn’t be the first time Labour have made such a move, the “Baby of the House” Pamela Nash, who is just 26, took over John Reid’s safe seat having been his special advisor. Woodfine’s chances have to be weakened by her closeness to her disgraced former boss, she was presumably in the campaign office when these leaflets were going out. Apparently that’s not what she is saying though…

UPDATE : Can you read between the ambiguous lines of this Tweet she sent just after this story went up:


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Fucking ace work Guido !! This is what the kids want to know !!

    I can just imagine her campaign line now…

    “I did not inhale the posters…””

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Put anything in a red rossete and it would win ( with hel

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Help of postal votes ) , There is something nasty about our politics at the moment mainly coming from the left !

    Oh and EU accounts not signed off again !

  4. 4
    Shona Woodbine says:

    I fully support my boss, obviously. Until I have the chance to shaft him. This is the Labour party, after all.

  5. 5
    Hugh Jardon says:

    is it me..or is wanker woolas straing at that bird’s shakers?

  6. 6
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    come on – where’s your sense of humour? Jacqui Smith? or lets wait and see if Sarah Brown wants to enter politics?

    By the way, if all labour MPs have £100 to spend on Woolas can they all chip in £100 a month for charity?

  7. 7
    Hugh Jardon says:

    staring… I’m such a hoon!

  8. 8
    Mike Hancock says:

    “Phil’s long-suffering bag-carrier, is positively gagging”

    In that case she can be my bag-carrier any day.

  9. 9
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    bring on flip flop hatttie:

    i’m for the war – it was wrong

    all woman short lists – let my husband in

  10. 10
    PMQs says:

    Clegg is on good form today, tearing into Harpy.

  11. 11
    gildedtumbril says:

    These incorrigible dirty, filthy bastards are quite incorrigible. They are disgusting beyond words. It appears The Palace Of Shithouses needs a complete clean out.

  12. 12
    Hellboy says:

    You are very wide of the mark on this one Guido. It will be a local candidate and Shona is disliked by Oldham folk because she is London based and got ideas above her station as Phil’s “adviser” when he was a Minister.

  13. 13
    Another Labour twat who needs a smack says:

    Who is Gavin Shuker and what the fuck kind of haircut is that? Labour c unt.

  14. 14
    MILF Watch says:

    Phwoar! Where has the lovely Tory MP Caroline Dinenage been hiding all this time? Yummy!

  15. 15
    Greasy Newspaper Editor says:

    You’re on a roll Guido, keep it up, saves all my political correspondents from having to do any work, they just have a look at your blog on their lap tops while they’re on the piss…..

  16. 16
    Thuggie Whelan says:

    Labour should name an Effnick Candidate for Woolarse’s seat…

    Instead of pandering to the Effnicks just name one…

    It is a Labour tribal area after all…

  17. 17
    The Dark Lord says:

    Baroness Uddin should stand…

  18. 18
    Christ on a bike says:

    Labour’s Heidi Alexander is the size of a small galaxy. She’s obviously feeling the cut in subsidised HoC food the most.

  19. 19
    Bob Bob Bobbing... says:



  20. 20
    2 Shags n 2 Jags (paid by the Chinese) says:

    BTY Guido…

    What has happened to the Zanu Mp who lamped an innocent the other night ?

    He should be awarded the Order of the TaliBrownies I say….

  21. 21
    I fucking despise Labour with a passion says:

    Watching PMQs, there’s not one single human being on the Labour benches. What an odious and evil bunch of c unts. There’s only one nasty party and it’s them. Fucking die the lot of you.

  22. 22
    Mad Hattie Hairpin says:

    I will have you know that I have never contradicted myself…

    My Unite Teamster husband tells me its called being “economical with the truth” or something complicated like than…

  23. 23
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Was it her tampons he was fiddling?

  24. 24
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    They are all Mossad plants .

  25. 25
    Y Fronts says:

    I want more Gay Zanu candidates…

  26. 26
    IPSA says:

    and Women’s underwear?

  27. 27
    Trunks says:

    How about Effnick AND gay ?

    That would confuse evryone…

  28. 28
    Keep Britain Bona says:

    Let’s put a red rosette on Billy Bowden and put him up Woolarses seat!

  29. 29
    percy throwup says:

    How often do you water these plants Billy?

  30. 30
    Steve Miliband says:

    Took over from Moran

  31. 31
    Fred Dineage says:


  32. 32
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    I support The Right Horourable Fill Woolas in his current campaign to bring as much disruption and chaos to the liebour party as possible. Please do everything you can to keep his profile as high as possible at this important time. At last it can be said he is doing something useful by continually damaging the liebour party at the highest level.

  33. 33
    The Ginger Rodent says:

    Suck my ginger nuts bitch!

  34. 34
    DonkeyDong says:

    Cracking pair of norks on her.
    Shame about the ideology. And the big arse. And thunderous thighs.

  35. 35
    why? says:

    David Cameron admits tuition fees increase will keep cost to foreign students down

  36. 36
    The cunt of Monte Cristo says:

    She intends to offer the proles of that shithole an altogether cleaner form of racial hatred and scaremongering.

    A new kind of politics if you will

  37. 37
    misterned says:

    nah, they check it out on their iphones.

    BTW, what is nine and a half inches long a satisfies a twat?
    an iPad!

  38. 38
    misterned says:

    It would have to be an Islamic Asian transgender or Lesbian candidate.

  39. 39

    I dont know about “Bag carrier”
    i wonder if she would mind being my bag emptier ?
    PS who is the blonde bloke in drag ?

  40. 40
    Ayesha Hazarika says:

    Did you enjoy my freshers week joke I wrote for Harriet? Aren’t I talented and witty?

  41. 41
    Engineer says:

    Thereby tempting more of them in, thereby bringing much-needed overseas earnings.

    We don’t just earn our living overseas by selling bits of bashed metal; the economy depends on more than that.

  42. 42

    Woodfine – post op.

  43. 43
    13eastie says:

    Ѕhе’ѕ no oіl раіntіng, but wіll mаkе а truly еxсеllеnt саndіdаtе nonеthеlеѕѕ.

    Неr саndіdасy wіll fіnаlly lеgіtіmіѕе mаѕѕ dіѕtrіbutіon of fuсktаrd Woolаѕ’ depraved racist leaflets.

    This time by Labour’s opponents.

  44. 44
    Mr. #4 says:

    I sometimes think British students are just allowed to go as “extras”.

  45. 45
    Shona Woodfine says:

  46. 46
    Sir William Waad says:

    It was a mistake to imagine that half the population needs, wants or could benefit from a tertiary academic education. You might as well decide to teach everybody parachuting. Of course, given a choice between getting a job, signing on the dole, or dossing around drinking and shagging for three years at the end of which you get a voucher entitling you to apply for white-collar jobs, most people would make the obvious choice.

    Childhood ends at 18.

  47. 47
  48. 48
    Sir William Waad says:

    Appropriaely, ‘Shona Woodfine’ is an anagram of:

    Fawned? O, shoo-in!

  49. 49
    Images of sorrow says:

    Pictures of delight
    Things that go to make up a life
    Endless days of summer
    Longer nights of gloom
    Just waiting for the morning light
    Scenes of unimportance
    Like photos in a frame
    Things that go to make up a life
    As we relive our lives
    In what we tell you

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Your just a dirty old man Mickey.

  51. 51
    Holly Blunkett says:

    What a couple sponging useless labour arsewipes. Woof! Woof!

  52. 52
    Thought for the Day says:

    Labour’s Emily Thornberry is reprehensible.

  53. 53
    P. Doff says:

    I’d show her the way to Oldham… and then Saddle her for all she was Worth!

  54. 54
    Tell it like it really is says:

    I see she brags of Shahid Malik being her “friend” – enough said.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:


    That’s exactly how I feel about the Tories.

  56. 56
    Shona Woodfine says:

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    But Madam Guillotine, sharp as her blade is, is French

  58. 58
    White Van Man says:

    Look at all those NUS students, aren’t they suppose to be studying today?

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Cleggy has to be there because the PM is not there, now what is his name, seems to be missing more at question time far more than Brown ever was, mind Gordon is making up for that now.

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Given that they are paying to go to school, they don’t seem to bothered about wasting theier fees on a day trip to london.

  61. 61
    genghiz the kahn says:

    al beeb accused of discrimination on Countryfile – age discrimination – we wanted to employ people with the right profile…

    Could be fun if they lose the case.

  62. 62
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Can’t she type out Gordon Brown?

  63. 63
    Lil Olmey says:

    Most MPs could be described as prehensile too.

  64. 64
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    She probably wrote those leaflets for Woolas.

  65. 65
    Little Shona says:

    Hi everybody I am interfering, useless, sponging Labour twat. Who sticks my nose in other people’s business without their permission cos I am useless interfering Sponger Labour arsewipe. An interfering illiberal piece of useless sh*t!

  66. 66
    From Me says:

    To all Labour lying, bullying, interfering sponging cnts! Stay out of MY LIFE! You illiberal, useless fuck ups!

  67. 67
    Engineer says:

    A rational debate about what tertiary education (and secondary, come to that) is supposed to do is long overdue. How many of society’s roles actually require degree qualifications? Could some of them not be better filled by people with common sense, determination and a good secondary education?

    Something we are weak on is allowing people to expand their education later in life. I worked with several engineers who ‘served their time’ as apprentices, moved into the Drawing Office as draughtsmen, then sought higher qualifications late in their twenties or early thirties to better themselves. Not everybody is ready for more academia at 18, but increasing maturity can bring a more focussed attitude.

    Some degree courses are too long – Simon Jenkins wrote perceptively in the Grauniad recently that many arts and humanities courses could be completed in twelve months. Being allowed to doss about most of the day is not good training for later responsibilities in work or life.

  68. 68
    Jack R Greaves says:

    You’re old enough to be her grandad, you old lecher. In fact …..

  69. 69
    Sir William Waad says:

    ++++ LAW FIRM OF THE YEAR ++++

    This year’s award for services to truth, justice and honest government goes to Steel & Shamash for their sterling work in the cases of Phil Woolas, Jim Devine, David Chaytor and Elliot Morley. The London, SE1 firm have established beyond doubt the constitutional principle that MPs are not above the law and the legal principle that Telling Lies and Stealing are Wrong.

  70. 70
    stun says:

    Might have that arse about face, Anony. Clegg is there because EdM is away on leave and the Deps get to have a go.

  71. 71
    Sir William Waad says:

    If ‘is’ read ‘has’, it might be worth paying some attention.

  72. 72
    filipinomonkey says:

    But that was Blair for you, 50% a completely arbitrary number that could be shown as a triumph for ‘fairness’ and improved results, while at the same time keeping many thousands off the unemployment figures for a few extra years. And still employers say they can’t get UK graduates with the required skills.

    Higher qualifications need to be driven by demand, what’s actually needed to give someone the chance to do something of value for our country rather than build aircraft carriers we don’t need, ‘to provide jobs’.

    Labour, if it isn’t FUBAR’d yet, they just need more time.

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    Or more specifically, so many wonderful and supportive friends in the Oldham East and Saddleworth CLP.
    Have we decided who’s on the selection committee yet?

  74. 74
    Airey Belvoir says:


  75. 75
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Looking at the Opposition benches I reckon that over half the Labour women MP’s are obese. Says something about greed and lack of willpower being no bar to succeeding in politics….

  76. 76
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Shona Woodfine – bloody hell, not another four by two?

  77. 77
    Barry West-Wood says:

    Far nicer than Ed Miliband’s partner.

  78. 78
    Observer says:

    Why does she use an ampersand instead of the word “and”?

  79. 79
    Mme La Guillo says:

    Ah! But ah would jus lerv to ‘ave zees rosbifs pour le lunch…

  80. 80

    Are you home by the sea?

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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