WaterBeebing

Another day and another media darling has sounded off with glorious hyperbole. Today the veteran liberator of Kabul John Simpson compared cutting the budget of the BBC to:

“…immobilizing the subject on his/her back with the head inclined downwards; water is then poured over the face into breathing passages, thus triggering the mammalian diving reflex causing the captive to experience the sensations of drowning. In It can cause extreme pain, dry drowning, damage to lungs, brain damage from oxygen deprivation, other physical injuries including broken bones due to struggling against restraints, lasting psychological damage and, if uninterrupted, death.”

Another luvvie exits the reality based community…

Guido v Axe-Killer

After axe-murderer and state-leech John Hirst was destroyed by Andrew Neil on the Daily Politics at lunchtime regarding votes for prisoners, Guido put the boot in on Jeremy Vine Show earlier this afternoon:

It’s not everyday you hear someone call for the return of hanging on the main-stream media, but after John Hirst’s gloating it’s the least he deserves…

Brillo v Axe-Killer

Via : LiarPoliticians

No Snappy Answer from Dave

When it was legitimately raised at PMQs that it was ridiculous that the PM should have his own personal photographer on the government payroll, Dave did not have a decent answer in his defence. All he could throw at Red Ed was the millions that the last government spent on spin, but given Dave’s airbrushed past, this was an open goal. Obviously official state visits and other such events need to be recorded, but the enormous press-pack that loiters outside Downing Street can’t have escaped the PM or his staff’s notice. Perhaps they could get a rota going…

For those more intimate shots, Steve Hilton didn’t do a bad job back in the days when Webcameron was getting going. Why can’t he pick up his camera again? Guido reckons the official snapper, Andrew Parsons, should be paid for by CCHQ – that would be very “Big Society”?

UPDATE: Jon Craig says Parsons is on £35k and Labour have written to GOD for more information.

PMQs Live: Entente Cordiale Edition

Gordon Paid Six Grand Per Minute

So Gordon finally ma ma managed to speak in the House on Monday. Like any good MP he should be trying to put a question to the Prime Minister today, that is what he is paid for after all. Paid very well in fact.

When he finally found the courage to speak it was 179 days since he was elected. Given his backbench salary is £65,738 he would have far so far received £32,238.63 of that. Brown spoke for 4 minutes 32 seconds in his speech, he then asked one question of 5 seconds. That is a total of 277 seconds.  Therefore, he has been paid £116.38 for each second he spoke, or £6,983.10 for each minute. Not even Blair can earn that sort of of cash.

Can anyone think of any day job that pays that well?

Quote of the Day

Julie Burchill says Stephen Fry is…

“a stupid person’s idea of a clever person”.

Bad Night for Taxing and Spending Democrats

Tea Party candidates advanced; Republican Mike Lee in Utah, Rand Paul of Kentucky and Marco Rubio of Florida enter the upper chamber. Republicans took the House in the biggest shift in power since the Republicans gained 54 House seats in 1994.

The Democrats clung on to the Senate but symbolically lost Obama’s old Senate seat and half-a-dozen other seats.

All three of Sarah Palin’s Mama Grizzlies have won their gubernatorial races: Susana Martinez, a Republican from New Mexico, Mary Fallin, a Republican from Oklahoma, and Nikki Haley, a Republican from South Carolina.

Proposition 19 to legalise dope was lost in California…

OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID
“Fat Cats For EU” “Fat Cats For EU”
“CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS “CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS
CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL
CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS
CAMERON’S AIRFARE FABLE CAMERON’S AIRFARE FABLE
TELEGRAPH BLOODBATH: NEW JOBS CULL UNDERWAY TELEGRAPH BLOODBATH: NEW JOBS CULL UNDERWAY
CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE
OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT
POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES
TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA
ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN
STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION
NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE
CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN
SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY
SADIQ RAISES EU FLAG ABOVE CITY HALL SADIQ RAISES EU FLAG ABOVE CITY HALL
SAJ ‘PRIVATELY SAID HE WANTED TO LEAVE’ SAJ ‘PRIVATELY SAID HE WANTED TO LEAVE’
CRICK CRICK’D CRICK CRICK’D
EU WANTS CULTURAL QUOTAS ON NETFLIX AND AMAZON PRIME EU WANTS CULTURAL QUOTAS ON NETFLIX AND AMAZON PRIME
LIBDEM WHO COMPLAINED TO POLICE ABOUT TORY ELECTION FRAUD BROKE SPENDING RULES LIBDEM WHO COMPLAINED TO POLICE ABOUT TORY ELECTION FRAUD BROKE SPENDING RULES
LABOUR WON’T ALLOW CONFERENCE DELEGATES TO SELF-IDENTIFY LABOUR WON’T ALLOW CONFERENCE DELEGATES TO SELF-IDENTIFY
WORST BEATLES TRIBUTE BAND EVER WORST BEATLES TRIBUTE BAND EVER
CELEBRITY CONSUMER CHAMPION HITS BACK AT BSE CELEBRITY CONSUMER CHAMPION HITS BACK AT BSE
MOMENTUM REJOICE! ONLY 65% THINK CORBYN NOT READY TO BE PM MOMENTUM REJOICE! ONLY 65% THINK CORBYN NOT READY TO BE PM
TAXPAYER FUNDED ASH LOBBIED GOVERNMENT FOR PLAIN-PACKS TAXPAYER FUNDED ASH LOBBIED GOVERNMENT FOR PLAIN-PACKS
REMAIN’S GILLIAN DUFFY MOMENT REMAIN’S GILLIAN DUFFY MOMENT
NORTHERNERS MOCK “GRIM UP NORTH” BURNHAM NORTHERNERS MOCK “GRIM UP NORTH” BURNHAM
LONG-TERM RISE OF ANTI-POLITICS LONG-TERM RISE OF ANTI-POLITICS