This week there is a copy of Dennis Kavanagh and Philip Cowley’s comprehensive “The British General Election 2010″ up for grabs for the wittiest caption comment.
Usual rules apply, competition closes midday Saturday…
If Dave Were President He’d Have Resigned By Now | Alex Wickham
Loongate: What Happened in the Blue Boar Bar | Simon Walters
Feldman’s Tennis Days With Dave | Telegraph
How Geoffrey Howe Has Lost the Debate | Robin Shepherd
Dave Has Lost Control on Europe | Geoffrey Howe
Lib Dems Should Support EU Referendum | LibDemVoice
Feldman’s Denial | Fraser Nelson
Obama’s Presidency is Imploding | Nile Gardiner
Miliband Could Be a Great PM | Thomas Pascoe
What Are You Really Paying in Income Tax? | TPA
Galloway’s Mad Month | The Commentator
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Tom Harris bemoans the public’s attitude to politicians…
“Mr Oborne echoes the lazy, anti-politics whine we hear so often these days, all based on the absurd notion that politicians were once loved and only fell out of public favour during the expenses scandal. He should take a walk to the Strangers’ Bar. But not to sup with the patrons he seems to despise so much, dearie me, no; he should instead look at the paintings on the corridor outside the bar, which depict the devastating fire which consumed most of the Palace in 1834. And he should reflect on the fact that on that dramatic night, as the Commons went up in flames, a crowd gathered on the South Bank to clap and cheer.”
The thing that Dave needs to work out is which group is more likely to vote Conservative. Mad swivel-eyed loons or mad homosexuals wishing to get married.
Ex Prime Ministers wife points to where French President is sitting
On a different note, have you seen that the pope doesn’t want to meet Mrs.Sarko?
Something to do with her tits I believe.
Nein, it is ze foul Schmeck of Nuttendiesel zat makes me feel sick…
http://tinyurl.com/realreasonyouoldsod
Warning: this link contains a very nice picture.
You sit here and explain to me why Jacqui Smith got a better kitchen than me through the Fees Office! Blair got three fcking houses! Come back you gutless turd!!
Yes. He prefers them like the fallen Madonna with the big boobies.
“Gordon you’ve shat on the chair again!”
delinquent escapes kirkcaldy’s shambolic back-to-work scheme whilst nurse’s back is turned………
Sarah: Gordon, you’ve forgotten these mugs
Gordon: I used to be Prime Minister…in charge of millions of mugs…
Gordon! Are you going to clean that up?
No. That’s a jobby for Mark Oaten
I suppose that’s the cats fault AGAIN!
** Applause **
Blatant Photo-shop job puts Brown and Beard in same room.
“And don’t forget to empty the bin before you go off and empty the economy”
“.. I don’t care, Gordon. You promised to take the boys to Rugrats. You can ‘save the world’ later. Which reminds me. While you’re in the shed, check on the tortoise will you.”
” I’ve told you before not to leave your red penis pump on the granite work surfaces.”
LOL!
Sarah Brown explains seating arrangement for forthcoming ‘summit meeting’ with Barack Obama
Just had a phone call from my book publisher. He said publishing my self-congratulatory book about the financial crisis and how I saved the world would be a flop – like “throwing good money after bad”.
He said I’d be better off writing a book about “How to groom and maintain a beard”.
Goddammit Gordon, The toilet is upstairs.
OR
so you want to replace that chair with your rockinghorse?
OR
Sit down and finish your fizzy orange juice, then you can go save the world!
“Don’t you just walk away, you caused this mess, now you can clean it up!”
Claps!
A winner!
And you can pick up that damned Nokia before you go off saving the world again.
SIT back down, you’ve got humble pie to eat…
You can play outside after your memoirs.
Sarah – I love you darling
Gordon – I love you too darling
You can look all you like but you’re not taking another tenner out my purse
Sarah Brown explains seating plan for the return ‘summit meeting’ with Barack Obama
Gordon: “We need a fresh Miliband for the dishwasher, darling”.
Zing!
Get your ass back here now Gordon! Just because the British public are glad to see the back of you doesn’t mean I am. Come and finish your kippers!
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
*claps*
I told you all that fizzy orange would play havoc with your bowels.
The man who’s not for turning walks backwards to the kitchen chair, verbally assisted by his wife.
Obey me now Gordon or that Chilean mine with have a new resident !
That’s where Sally Bercow was sitting. Take it out and burn it would you dear, I don’t want to risk catching anything.”
“Is that chair as empty as your promises Gordon?” said his wife, adoringly for the camera.
Whilst Ed faces his first PMQs Gordon gets to deal with PMT’s
“Who spilt Chocolate Cheerios on his chair this morning?”
“Get back here this instant you spineless, incompetent, one eyed, Scottish wankstain!”
No, no
You don’t repeat the real comment, you invent a new one.
It’s a sort of game, you see
I’m told they can be terribly amusing
“It’s my birthday and you’re dining at the Y, Gordie.”
Sit down Gordon, the cupboard door does NOT lead to Narnia.
“My hero!”
Go on now go, walk out the door,
Just turn around now, cause you’re not welcome anymore…
Applause…
You’re not the Messiah, you’re a very naughty boy!
“That fucking chair has more of a personality than you do you good for nothing sack of shite!”
If you don’t clean up your spilt fizzy orange then you can go to the naughty corner Gordon.
“Come back Gordon. You know the rules. You can’t get down from the table till you’ve finished”.
Which hospital trust did they steal the sink from?
Sarah says “Gordon, where are your manners?, you didn’t ask permission of Speaker Bercow sitting here to get up and leave”
I want payment for my work, stop extending the contract!
It’s C….H….A….I…..R
Gordon! You`ve left the most massive deficit on this chair. I`m going to ask Dave and Nick round to clear it up.
Gordon, I’m not your slave, tuck your chair in when you leave the table!
Sit down and take your pills Gordo..
That is a chair, not a commode, you arsehole!
Haw!
Gordon spotted the kippers in the laundry basket and then understood why breakfast had tasted like a beard’s knickers.
Gordon: It’s Ashcrofts fault.
I always though you wore the trousers Sarah….
I though I had got rid of you Trousers…
Gone non-dom like Tone then ?
“The revolver is in the top drawer darling. I’ll leave a glass of whiskey for you here.”
Confusion reigns with an unexpected visit from David Miliband just as the order “do something about that little turd” is ringing in the ex-PM’s ears.
They want you to be the Chair of the MFI
Gordon is reminded by his wife that he still has a constituency seat.
No you can’t hide in the broom cupboard again Get your arse downstairs and sort it out.
Broony Comic Quiz
{Use a crayon to circle your answers.You can ask an adult to help you.}
-Circle all the mugs in this picture?
-Sarah has hidden Gordon’s Kryptonite. Can you guess where?
-One of the things in this picture cost the taxpayers £2,200. It was the sink.
Another cost the taxpayer almost a trillion pounds. Can you find it?
Yet again a picture of Mr Brown provides post after post of comedy gold! He may have been the worst PM ever but at least he has left a legacy.
Agreed Steve.
He’s a giver having been a taker for so long.
taking the pensions, taking the freedoms, taking the piss….
MAY??????!!!!!!!
Listen! ….. actually no, don’t bother. I think I see why the British hate you so much.
Mr and Mrs Brown host a party for all the people who elected Gordon to the post of Prime Minister.
Seeing as how he pays £12,000 for a ‘shared’ cleaner with his brother, you’d not expect the sink to be so full of dirties would you?
I’m going to look for my parliamentary seat,
The only seat the country wish you to sit at. is there, and your bloody lucky that’s not in a padded cell.
or.. Heading to the sink, “you aren’t fucking French, why can’t you just swallow the tablets like everyone else in this country “?
Sit down – you scabby headed wain
GB: “All political careers end in failure, Sarah”
SB: “Yours started with it”
Now sit down and for God’s sake decide, once and for all, which mug you’re going to drink from..
“are you still searching for your moral compass darling, as I think I see it under the sink…”
Yes the cupboards are bare again Gordon. Take this chair here and see what you can get for it.
I have had my imaginary bacon sandwich now I am going to take my imaginary dog for a walk.
“Gordon, your butt plug’s fallen out”.
LOL!
“Now sit down, freak. I saw this photo of you ( http://eotp.org/2009/05/08/2009-new-labour-unelected-p-m-gordon-brown-parasite/ ) and it seems I better straighten you out.”
” Is that a Brown stain I can see on that chair ?”
Gordon
“I’m so pissed off and Margaret Thatcher must be gutted…
Her 85th birthday and the only thing on telly is miners celebrating!
“Gordon, you can go out and play with Dr Kelly when you’ve finished your breakfast.”
“Quick, or you’ll lose your seat.”
When you said you had deposited the book advance, I didn’t think you meant there
“I said ‘eat your lentils’ not ‘you’re mental’. Now sit back down and finish your lunch.”
Gordon, please don’t leave gay porno magazines lying around the house!
Like it… and an unexpectedly different twist!
While pointing to a soiled chair
My thoughts flew back to Tony Blair.
Might not have reined the wicked witch in?
At least he left a tidy kitchen.
A Papal Knighthood for that one.
“Gordon, are you still fretting?”
O/T
Guido
This case seems to have passed under the radar …
I therefore uphold this complaint.
Re Mr and Mrs Keen MP²
“121. This is in my view a serious breach of the rules involving significant public funds. But Mr and Mrs Keen clearly both believed that it should have been permissible for them to continue to claim in full on their London property because they still saw Brentford as their main home. They were reinforced in this view when the House authorities agreed that their claims could continue to be met. And it did not seem to occur to either of them (or indeed to the Department) that Mr and Mrs Keen’s use of their publicly-funded second home in place of their Brentford property gave them a personal financial benefit. A more rigorous examination of their circumstances might have led Mr and Mrs Keen to take a different view. But the evidence is that they were preoccupied by a great many other competing priorities, which themselves probably contributed to the delay in getting their house back into use. The result is that some of the costs arising from their building problems were unnecessarily carried on parliamentary funds. I think it is a mitigating factor that the Department twice considered their circumstances in 2009 and twice agreed that they could continue to regard Brentford as their main home and so continue to claim in full for their London flat. Nevertheless, Members are responsible for their own actions and I consider that both Members were equally responsible for what I regard as a serious misjudgement.
24 February 2010 John Lyon CB”
I’m Just going for a short walk darling.
Oh Gordon, I’m so proud you will have the whole Country behind you at last.
Gordon makes a hasty exit as Sarah enquires as to who has the receipts for the kitchen furniture.
Come back here immediately! I said you’re rubbish, not your rubbish.
don’t blame the dog
Man leaves home every morning pretending to go to work.
Gordon’s absconds. Kircaldy seat remains vacant.
And this one got under the radar as well…
“d) Overall conclusion
164. I have concluded that Mr Cohen was in breach of the rules of the House in identifying his property in Colchester as one of his homes for the purpose of parliamentary allowances from April 2004 to August 2008. If the Committee were not to accept that conclusion, I consider that Mr Cohen nevertheless breached the rules of the House in identifying his Colchester property rather than his constituency property as his main home during the same period, thus enabling him to make claims against his Additional Costs Allowance on his constituency home in London. In this respect, I uphold the complaint.
165. Mr Cohen was also in breach of the rules in relation to the registration of Members’ interests by not consistently registering his Colchester property and the income he received from it from 2004 to 2008. This was not the subject of the complaint.
166. I consider that Mr Cohen’s arrangements for his properties represented a particularly serious breach of the rules of the House. It was a breach sustained over some four and a half years. Had Mr Cohen considered his position more objectively and had he more fully and explicitly consulted the House authorities, the breach could have been avoided. I recognise the difficult circumstances through which Mr Cohen has lived over this period, and I sympathise with his wife’s continuing episodes of ill health, which clearly put a heavy strain on them both. But the consequence of Mr Cohen’s decisions was that he continued making substantial claims against his Additional Costs Allowance for his constituency home. Those claims, in my view, were not in accordance with the rules of the House and they resulted therefore in his receiving payments to which he was not entitled.
13 January 2010 John Lyon CB”
Gordon, you’re not going out to play with Denis until you sit back down and apologies to me for being so rude and grumpy…and for making a mess of your bedroom…and the country as a whole.
Gorgon, you place is here, not representing your constituents, wasn’t them who let you down?
“Mop this up!”
That’s the best I can do. I’ll get my coat.
Wouldn’t it be better if there was a photo of Brown in 1998 saying that.
“That’s the best I can do. I’ll get my coat.”
Nice one!
” And I suppose you think the Coalition is going to clear that up as well !!!”
That’s the winner for me.
Aye
Agreed
Yup!
No Gordon, it is not Sue’s fault, you made the mess.
Beard “get back there and clear up”
Brown “if you pretend to be Obama, I’ll come running in and we’ll have a summit about it”
Beard “Gordon, this is not the fucking white house. ”
Brown (mumble mumble…) “I saved the fucking world you know…”
Brown’s get dream job at MFI
Dyslexic couple get dream job at MFI
Gordon when I said why don’t you vacate your seat, I meant your Parliamentary one.
Who are they?
I’ve got one just like that in Cantebury.
I would shag her.
Is Mandelson responsible for that muck dripping out of your hoop Gordon?
Gordon, I do NOT buy this story about your imaginary friend o’Bama – I know YOU did it !
Sarah: “Come back and clean this chair”
Gordon: “No return with broom & duster”.
No return to broom and dust.
Jim Devine
http://edinburghnews.scotsman.com/breaking-edinburgh-news/Tribunal-hears-of-bizarre-events.6580895.jp
But when she came into the office the following day, the office manager realised it was all a big hoax.
She said: “I went into work and checked my emails and I had access to Jim’s email.
“There was one marked urgent so I opened it.
“It was from Fiona Fox mostly about the Embryology Bill.
“She is the Director at the Science Media Centre in London.
“But at the end there was a PS said that ‘I phoned that poor woman in your office and left the message. Hope you’ve put her out of her misery.
Fiona Fox
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiona_Fox_(UK_press_officer)
Fiona Fox (born 1964) is the director of the Science Media Centre and a former leading member of the Revolutionary Communist Party.
FF is sister of Claire Fox
http://www.instituteofideas.com/people/claire_fox.html
Claire Fox is the director of the Institute of Ideas (IoI)[sic],
Gordon I know you love getting your arse licked so I spread pedegree chum on it. Sadly I don’t have a dog, and Sarah is getting clingy.
Now pop out to the shops for some dog food please
sarah – “gordon you mong, what is it with you and cupboards? your seat is over here!”
Mistress Sarah’s Slave Training Ends In Failure.
I am just stepping outside, I may be gone some time.
Gordy, you’ve got glue all over the arse of your trousers!
Why do they only find excuses like this for the rich?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8066147/Asil-Nadir-hazardous-bacteria-in-old-files-could-delay-trial.html
“I don’t believe it, you’ve actually shat on your chair”
Put that knife back and close the drawer……..there’s no way you’re stabbing me in the back
Mistress Sarah : Hear Me Moan – Order-Order.co.uk’s
It wasn’ae me. A big boy crapped on the chair and ran away!
Very good.
“Finish your tea or you won’t get to play on the rocking horse!”
‘Gordon, you may have shit all over the economy and just walked away; but if you think when you shit on the kitchen furniture you can just do the same… you can forget it’
“… And once you’ve finished licking my fanny batter off that chair, you can suck my toes clean. They haven’t been washed for a week, as I knows that’s how you like ‘em”
Sarah I will nay sit down I wan ma pills now.
Maoi maoi.
Today I will be a cat.
Gordon tries to control his fury after Sarah has put wrong biscuits on table.
he’s got a point though. Croissants? I don’t think I’ve met anyone who actually likes them
Could be a Cornish pasty, Turnip & Swede.
GB: “Ah’m here for ma cabinet meeting”
SB: “I’ve wiped the melamine tops and they’re ready for you”
“You’ve left some shit”.
“It’s what I do”.
I told you to wear your Brown trousers today.
You may not take your seat at work, but behaviour like that here will not be tolerated!
Glad to see the back of him
Man turns back on woman after arguement about ‘poncy breakfast food’
“….and when you’ve done that you can spend the night in the potting manse. I’m expecting to be on the telephone for quite some time.”
Sit !
SB: Gordon it’s Robinsons Jam, did you collect the Gollies?
GB: Bigoted woman
“Don’t talk to me about cuts”
“But Gordon, I only asked if you wanted another slice of toast?”
Happy Families of the Political Class ( Edition 13).
Gordon caught playing with himself in No 10 kitchen tries to place dirty magazine in dishwasher and then sneak out.
Sarah spots the evidence and demands an explanation.
I told you not to eat all those bananas.
You have shit on the country but you are not going to shit on my chair, get back here and clean it up.
Was that chair taxpayer funded as well?
“Gordon, Jam and oatcake is all we can afford, I told you not to run our household budget like you did the country’s.”
GB Thinks: That was a disaster. Should never have put me with that woman. Whose idea was that? Sue’s, I think. Just ridiculous. She’s just this sort of bigoted woman who said she used to be a Labour voter. Ridiculous.
SB thinks: He’s an educated person, why has he come out with words like that? He’s going to lead this country and he’s calling an ordinary woman who’s just come up and asked him questions what most people would ask him – they’re not doing anything about the national debt and it’s going to be tax, tax, tax for another 20 years to get out of this national debt and he’s calling me a bigot.
Its not my fault you exchanged your golden nuggets for bread and water
You sold all the Gold Blend remember
I always said you would slam it in the cupboard
Disappointment for Sarah as her demand for a really good fawkin’ on the kitchen table only sends Gordon to the cutlery drawer.
{in this household forks are called spoony-prongs. Gordon hates Fawkes.}
No, you can’t have a knife.
Now sit down and drink your Koolade
Your potty is under the table Gordon.
GORDON: Antiques Roadshow…??!!
SARAH: I meant the chair, Gordon.
Why hasn’t the bugger shaved before breakfast?
She has.
Him: Ahm jest awf tae save the worrrrld.
Her: Come back here right now and fill out these expenses forms! This kitchen won’t pay for itself you know! And where’s that idle cleaner?
(Gordon Brown charged the taxpayer £9,000 for a new kitchen in 2005, and charged over £6,500 between 2004 – 2006 for a cleaner, shared with his brother Andrew.)
The photo-shoot over, John and James were carefully put back in their drawer.
Sarah: “Look, Tony’s sent you a postcard!”
“…It’s from the Gaza Strip. ‘Wish you were here’. Hmmm.”
We have a winner in the “hunt for Johnsons missing 20th chair” competition.
SB: Gordon, come back here this instant. We must discuss our £7m overdraft!
GB: Dinnae worry yerself lass, I’ll pay it off as soon as my £10m loan comes in.
Don’t you DARE just fart and then slope off out.
Darling, you appear to have left a Cumberland sausage on the floor.
Get back here now. I’m sick and tired of picking up your little turds.
“Gordon! The Arctic Monkeys may really wake you up in the morning, but there’s no reason to shit like one of them!”
“you cannot make me sit in this, or any house”
Naomi was here last night. She said you both have new Nokia’s and are going to have a fling. What do you have to say for yourself?
‘An empty seat in the Commons, an empty seat in the kitchen… WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SIT IN THE HOUSE??’
I cam’t I have an irrestable urge to go somewhere!
Bugger Kircaldy, I mean get back to THIS seat!
“Gordon when are you going to fix that thing, it’s been there 6 months, you haven’t been to Westminster, never mind cannot make up your mind up and , for goodness sake just get it fixed!”
Gordon refused to do the housework, claiming that he had abolished broom and dust.
Gets my vote, and those of all of my constituents of course.
“Very well, Gordon, the high chair comes out again!”
Gordy! Bad gordy! Sit! Sit! SIT! SIT! Heel! HEEL! There’s a good gordy!
Gordon come back here and explain why you sold all my gold jewelery for Euros.
SITTTTTT!
“You can’t blame Blair for that”
Sit down and drink your hemlock you worthless man, the train to Canterbury leaves in 30 minutes
“That’s a double whammy”
Sarah: ‘And another thing Gordon, you can pick that effing moral compass up and stick it up your effing arse – if there’s any more room.’
“You cannot leave this mess for the Tories”
Sarah: “Gordon! This is no time for a novel!”
Oi – have you left your croissant that chair?
Fragrant Sarah: “Gordon! This is not time for a novel”
At last, Gordon makes a deposit.
That’s another bloody mess you’ve left there !
Man gets crumbs on beard.
Sarah: “Gordon! This is no time for a novel!!”
Oh darling, don’t forget your manuscript! It’s that little pile of ashes over there…
“Bring out the Gimp!”
Come here now Gordon, it’s time to change your nappy.
Go to your room, and do as you are told. You are a very bad boy.
Voice from small UFO (to the right of lamp): “We’ve made first contact and there’s no intelligent life on this planet”
No Gordon, you can’t keep borring teabags from the neighbours
Oh Gord, you don’t have to pretend you’re working class any more, we havn’t got an outside lavvy!
Sarah, where’s Omaha? I was hoping to head him off in the kitchen again.
Sarah, where’s Omaha? I was hoping to head him off in the kitchen again.
Sarah: ‘Gordon, where’s Obama? I was hoping to give him head in the kitchen again.’
“Now sit down there and GIVE THOSE TAXPAYERS BACK THEIR MONEY!!”
No Gordon that is not where we have the washing machine where we wash all your dodgy expenses. That is up in Fife.
It looks like your ankle bracelet is chafing again. Sit down here and let me check it.
“Here is a place reserved, sir. What is’t that moves your highness?”
“No, Gordon, not the Americans, not the bankers, not Mandelson – they didn’t make that mess – it was YOU. Now clear it up!”
Gordon, I thought you’d got a Chair at Harvard, but this one’s from IKEA.
When I said “You shit!” it wasn’t an order.
If you want to escape broken Britain and get that top financial job in Brussels you will have to learn to like croissants.
Not again! I said SIT
Mr & Mrs Brown reminisce about the time they met Mr Obama in the kitchen
You won’t find the gold in there ! Now sit down and I’ll remind you again what you did with it.
Picture him laying naked on his back.Hands grasping the backs of his thighs,mouth straining toward his erection.Thinking ‘Just anoth inch’ – mouth-gape.
‘Have you seen my personality,darling?’ ‘You don’t have one! Now come and eat your words.’
I didn’t think you were coming out of that closet Gordon.
This article was amended after publication to remove an inaccuracy that was introduced during the editing process.
“And seated here, Gordon, are all the people that think you did a good job as PM.”
Sarah: Yes Gordon, I know this mess isn’t your fault, it started in America, so I suppose you can leave the table.
Gordon: Thank you and goodbye!
Gordon you havn’t taken your medication again.
“Gordon, don’t you dare! So what if everyone hates you, if you break off any more cupboard doors I’m asking Dr Shrink to send you back to the funny farm!”
“Sit back down and finish your sprouts or it’s NO strokie cockie for you tonight “
I didn’t call you a sink!
I said you fucking stink !
When i said you are all washed up
i meant…Oh forget it !
Gordon ! Gordon ! Get that cleaned up !
“We’ll never live last night down, Gordon. How many times do I have to tell you that when a chef invites you to taste his Cocky Leaky it has NOTHING to do with his willy!”
Gordon you better get to like it in England jock, i’m off home. Alex Salmond may have called for your backing but i ain’t staying in this god forsaken hole. Even the seat is full of fucking holes and there is fuckall left. That minister you employed wasn’t lying when he said the cupboard was bare.
“Don’t you dear use the down stairs toilet come back and use your commode.”
Gordon
Why did you not go to the house of lords with the other socialists John, Mick, Neil and Glynis. Ed says he will pay millionaires family allowance you know. We could buy bacon and egg for breakfast instead of this foreign shit.
It’s no good Darling. I have to go to bed, the stab marks of the knives in my back are hurting. If the shithouse comrades ring to ask how i am tell them to fuck off.
Sarah: And this is where Tom Bower will be sitting.
If you don’t stop shouting dance muppet dance i am sending you back to the catalogue.
It wasn’t my fault that all the comrades shafted me.
Sarah – Hang on Gordon, come back, look here, you’ve left a bit of a mess
Gordon – What mess, I can’t see it, I’m fucking blind
Come back and pull my Finger bitch.
“… and clean up that brown substance NOW !”
Alan Douglas
Brown declines unsuitable kitchen cabinet position.
That’s another mess for Cameron to clean up!
Sarah : “Sit down and write something funny! If you couldn’t win the election, you might at least win a book about it !”
Voice from outside the door…”Taxi for Broon?”
Sarah – “Thank fuck for that”
Don’t go poopy on chair go poopy in splash splash.
Sarah the carer:
‘And just where the fuck do you think you’re going? Get your sorry arse back here – now!’
Rainman:
‘I was just going to go up to my bedroom and write a couple of chapters for my new book.’
Sarah the carer:
‘Not the stupid book again. All I hear about is that bloody book, day and night, night and day. Christ, sometimes I wish I was fucking dead. Listen, if you don’t shut the fuck up about that bloody book, I swear I’ll shove this jar of jam up your arse. Do you hear me?’
There appears to be a deficit of Gordon on this chair.
When you told me you had piles i thought you meant piles of cash like the other labour cabinet members.
Sorry, Sarah, I must rush – I I have to do a big jobby. Keep my bedtime milk warm.
Gordon! Your butt plug has fallen out.
SB: “Gordon…I love you.”
GB: [pause] “Thanks.”