October 15th, 2010

Friday Caption Contest (Naughty Chair Edition)

This week there is a copy of Dennis Kavanagh and Philip Cowley’s comprehensive “The British General Election 2010″ up for grabs for the wittiest caption comment.

Usual rules apply, competition closes midday Saturday…


262 Comments

  1. 1
    Steve Miliband says:

    Ex Prime Ministers wife points to where French President is sitting

    Like

  2. 2
    concrete pump says:

    I suppose that’s the cats fault AGAIN!

    Like

  3. 3
    Uddin says:

    Blatant Photo-shop job puts Brown and Beard in same room.

    Like

  4. 4

    “And don’t forget to empty the bin before you go off and empty the economy”

    Like

    • 16

      “.. I don’t care, Gordon. You promised to take the boys to Rugrats. You can ‘save the world’ later. Which reminds me. While you’re in the shed, check on the tortoise will you.”

      Like

  5. 5

    ” I’ve told you before not to leave your red penis pump on the granite work surfaces.”

    Like

  6. 6
    Steve Miliband says:

    Sarah Brown explains seating arrangement for forthcoming ‘summit meeting’ with Barack Obama

    Like

  7. 7
    Gordon Brown says:

    Just had a phone call from my book publisher. He said publishing my self-congratulatory book about the financial crisis and how I saved the world would be a flop – like “throwing good money after bad”.

    He said I’d be better off writing a book about “How to groom and maintain a beard”.

    Like

  8. 8
    crip says:

    Goddammit Gordon, The toilet is upstairs.

    OR

    so you want to replace that chair with your rockinghorse?

    OR

    Sit down and finish your fizzy orange juice, then you can go save the world!

    Like

  9. 9
    Kester says:

    “Don’t you just walk away, you caused this mess, now you can clean it up!”

    Like

  10. 10

    And you can pick up that damned Nokia before you go off saving the world again.

    Like

  11. 11
    concrete pump says:

    SIT back down, you’ve got humble pie to eat…

    Like

  12. 12
    John Cipher says:

    You can play outside after your memoirs.

    Like

  13. 12
    Selohesra says:

    Sarah – I love you darling
    Gordon – I love you too darling

    Like

  14. 14
    Andy M says:

    You can look all you like but you’re not taking another tenner out my purse

    Like

  15. 15
    Steve Miliband says:

    Sarah Brown explains seating plan for the return ‘summit meeting’ with Barack Obama

    Like

  16. 16

    Gordon: “We need a fresh Miliband for the dishwasher, darling”.

    Like

  17. 18
    The Watcher says:

    Get your ass back here now Gordon! Just because the British public are glad to see the back of you doesn’t mean I am. Come and finish your kippers!

    Like

  18. 19
    Steve Miliband says:

    If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen

    Like

  19. 20
    Anonymous says:

    I told you all that fizzy orange would play havoc with your bowels.

    Like

  20. 21
    IanVisits says:

    The man who’s not for turning walks backwards to the kitchen chair, verbally assisted by his wife.

    Like

  21. 22
    simon r says:

    Obey me now Gordon or that Chilean mine with have a new resident !

    Like

  22. 23

    That’s where Sally Bercow was sitting. Take it out and burn it would you dear, I don’t want to risk catching anything.”

    Like

  23. 24
    Fiddler-Diddler says:

    “Is that chair as empty as your promises Gordon?” said his wife, adoringly for the camera.

    Like

  24. 25
    simon r says:

    Whilst Ed faces his first PMQs Gordon gets to deal with PMT’s

    Like

  25. 26

    “Who spilt Chocolate Cheerios on his chair this morning?”

    Like

  26. 28
    Gene Hunt says:

    “Get back here this instant you spineless, incompetent, one eyed, Scottish wankstain!”

    Like

    • 197
      Beard says:

      No, no

      You don’t repeat the real comment, you invent a new one.

      It’s a sort of game, you see

      I’m told they can be terribly amusing

      Like

  27. 29

    “It’s my birthday and you’re dining at the Y, Gordie.”

    Like

  28. 30
    concrete pump says:

    Sit down Gordon, the cupboard door does NOT lead to Narnia.

    Like

  29. 31
    13eastie says:

    “My hero!”

    Like

  30. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Go on now go, walk out the door,
    Just turn around now, cause you’re not welcome anymore…

    Like

  31. 33

    You’re not the Messiah, you’re a very naughty boy!

    Like

  32. 34
    Gene Hunt says:

    “That fucking chair has more of a personality than you do you good for nothing sack of shite!”

    Like

  33. 35
    Skool was cool says:

    If you don’t clean up your spilt fizzy orange then you can go to the naughty corner Gordon.

    Like

  34. 36
    Jess says:

    “Come back Gordon. You know the rules. You can’t get down from the table till you’ve finished”.

    Like

  35. 37
    Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen sucks says:

    Which hospital trust did they steal the sink from?

    Like

  36. 39
    Martin Day says:

    Sarah says “Gordon, where are your manners?, you didn’t ask permission of Speaker Bercow sitting here to get up and leave”

    Like

  37. 40
    crip says:

    I want payment for my work, stop extending the contract!

    Like

  38. 41
    Steve Miliband says:

    It’s C….H….A….I…..R

    Like

  39. 42
    Cruishank says:

    Gordon! You`ve left the most massive deficit on this chair. I`m going to ask Dave and Nick round to clear it up.

    Like

  40. 43
    Edward Balls says:

    Gordon, I’m not your slave, tuck your chair in when you leave the table!

    Like

  41. 44
    Jack says:

    Sit down and take your pills Gordo..

    Like

  42. 45
    gildedtumbril says:

    That is a chair, not a commode, you arsehole!

    Like

  43. 46

    Gordon spotted the kippers in the laundry basket and then understood why breakfast had tasted like a beard’s knickers.

    Like

  44. 47
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    Gordon: It’s Ashcrofts fault.

    Like

  45. 48
    Trousers Mandelson says:

    I always though you wore the trousers Sarah….

    Like

  46. 49
    Gene Hunt says:

    “The revolver is in the top drawer darling. I’ll leave a glass of whiskey for you here.”

    Like

  47. 53

    Confusion reigns with an unexpected visit from David Miliband just as the order “do something about that little turd” is ringing in the ex-PM’s ears.

    Like

  48. 54
    Steve Miliband says:

    They want you to be the Chair of the MFI

    Like

  49. 55
    concrete pump says:

    Gordon is reminded by his wife that he still has a constituency seat.

    Like

  50. 56
    Backwoodsman says:

    No you can’t hide in the broom cupboard again Get your arse downstairs and sort it out.

    Like

  51. 57

    Broony Comic Quiz
    {Use a crayon to circle your answers.You can ask an adult to help you.}

    -Circle all the mugs in this picture?
    -Sarah has hidden Gordon’s Kryptonite. Can you guess where?
    -One of the things in this picture cost the taxpayers £2,200. It was the sink.
    Another cost the taxpayer almost a trillion pounds. Can you find it?

    Like

  52. 58
    Willsteed says:

    Listen! ….. actually no, don’t bother. I think I see why the British hate you so much.

    Like

  53. 59
    Tom FD says:

    Mr and Mrs Brown host a party for all the people who elected Gordon to the post of Prime Minister.

    Like

  54. 62

    Seeing as how he pays £12,000 for a ‘shared’ cleaner with his brother, you’d not expect the sink to be so full of dirties would you?

    Like

  55. 63
    Gordon's Glass Steagall eye Bankrupted the Country says:

    I’m going to look for my parliamentary seat,
    The only seat the country wish you to sit at. is there, and your bloody lucky that’s not in a padded cell.

    Like

  56. 64
    Backwoodsman says:

    or.. Heading to the sink, “you aren’t fucking French, why can’t you just swallow the tablets like everyone else in this country “?

    Like

  57. 65
    brooks says:

    Sit down – you scabby headed wain

    Like

  58. 66
    BluRay says:

    GB: “All political careers end in failure, Sarah”
    SB: “Yours started with it”

    Like

  59. 67
    I Squiggle says:

    Now sit down and for God’s sake decide, once and for all, which mug you’re going to drink from..

    Like

  60. 68
    filipinomonkey says:

    “are you still searching for your moral compass darling, as I think I see it under the sink…”

    Like

  61. 69
    Lord Yorkshire says:

    Yes the cupboards are bare again Gordon. Take this chair here and see what you can get for it.

    Like

  62. 70
    The Looney has Left says:

    I have had my imaginary bacon sandwich now I am going to take my imaginary dog for a walk.

    Like

  63. 71
    concrete pump says:

    “Gordon, your butt plug’s fallen out”.

    Like

  64. 72
    Watt Tyler says:

    “Now sit down, freak. I saw this photo of you ( http://eotp.org/2009/05/08/2009-new-labour-unelected-p-m-gordon-brown-parasite/ ) and it seems I better straighten you out.”

    Like

  65. 73
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” Is that a Brown stain I can see on that chair ?”

    Like

  66. 74
    Greg Beales says:

    Gordon

    “I’m so pissed off and Margaret Thatcher must be gutted…

    Her 85th birthday and the only thing on telly is miners celebrating!

    Like

  67. 76
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Gordon, you can go out and play with Dr Kelly when you’ve finished your breakfast.”

    Like

  68. 77
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Quick, or you’ll lose your seat.”

    Like

  69. 79
    Sleepless in Kirkaldy says:

    When you said you had deposited the book advance, I didn’t think you meant there

    Like

  70. 80

    “I said ‘eat your lentils’ not ‘you’re mental’. Now sit back down and finish your lunch.”

    Like

  71. 81
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Gordon, please don’t leave gay porno magazines lying around the house!

    Like

  72. 82

    While pointing to a soiled chair
    My thoughts flew back to Tony Blair.
    Might not have reined the wicked witch in?
    At least he left a tidy kitchen.

    Like

  73. 85
    Joint-runner-up says:

    “Gordon, are you still fretting?”

    Like

  74. 87
    Bob says:

    O/T

    Guido

    This case seems to have passed under the radar …

    I therefore uphold this complaint.

    Re Mr and Mrs Keen MP²

    “121. This is in my view a serious breach of the rules involving significant public funds. But Mr and Mrs Keen clearly both believed that it should have been permissible for them to continue to claim in full on their London property because they still saw Brentford as their main home. They were reinforced in this view when the House authorities agreed that their claims could continue to be met. And it did not seem to occur to either of them (or indeed to the Department) that Mr and Mrs Keen’s use of their publicly-funded second home in place of their Brentford property gave them a personal financial benefit. A more rigorous examination of their circumstances might have led Mr and Mrs Keen to take a different view. But the evidence is that they were preoccupied by a great many other competing priorities, which themselves probably contributed to the delay in getting their house back into use. The result is that some of the costs arising from their building problems were unnecessarily carried on parliamentary funds. I think it is a mitigating factor that the Department twice considered their circumstances in 2009 and twice agreed that they could continue to regard Brentford as their main home and so continue to claim in full for their London flat. Nevertheless, Members are responsible for their own actions and I consider that both Members were equally responsible for what I regard as a serious misjudgement.

    24 February 2010 John Lyon CB”

    Like

  75. 89
    Captain Oates says:

    I’m Just going for a short walk darling.
    Oh Gordon, I’m so proud you will have the whole Country behind you at last.

    Like

  76. 90
    concrete pump says:

    Gordon makes a hasty exit as Sarah enquires as to who has the receipts for the kitchen furniture.

    Like

  77. 91
    Steve Miliband says:

    Come back here immediately! I said you’re rubbish, not your rubbish.

    Like

  78. 92
    Anonymous says:

    don’t blame the dog

    Like

  79. 93
    Bobert says:

    Man leaves home every morning pretending to go to work.

    Like

  80. 94
    13eastie says:

    Gordon’s absconds. Kircaldy seat remains vacant.

    Like

  81. 95
    Bob says:

    And this one got under the radar as well…

    “d) Overall conclusion

    164. I have concluded that Mr Cohen was in breach of the rules of the House in identifying his property in Colchester as one of his homes for the purpose of parliamentary allowances from April 2004 to August 2008. If the Committee were not to accept that conclusion, I consider that Mr Cohen nevertheless breached the rules of the House in identifying his Colchester property rather than his constituency property as his main home during the same period, thus enabling him to make claims against his Additional Costs Allowance on his constituency home in London. In this respect, I uphold the complaint.

    165. Mr Cohen was also in breach of the rules in relation to the registration of Members’ interests by not consistently registering his Colchester property and the income he received from it from 2004 to 2008. This was not the subject of the complaint.

    166. I consider that Mr Cohen’s arrangements for his properties represented a particularly serious breach of the rules of the House. It was a breach sustained over some four and a half years. Had Mr Cohen considered his position more objectively and had he more fully and explicitly consulted the House authorities, the breach could have been avoided. I recognise the difficult circumstances through which Mr Cohen has lived over this period, and I sympathise with his wife’s continuing episodes of ill health, which clearly put a heavy strain on them both. But the consequence of Mr Cohen’s decisions was that he continued making substantial claims against his Additional Costs Allowance for his constituency home. Those claims, in my view, were not in accordance with the rules of the House and they resulted therefore in his receiving payments to which he was not entitled.
    13 January 2010 John Lyon CB”

    Like

  82. 96
    Rickytshirt says:

    Gordon, you’re not going out to play with Denis until you sit back down and apologies to me for being so rude and grumpy…and for making a mess of your bedroom…and the country as a whole.

    Like

  83. 97
    Bazz says:

    Gorgon, you place is here, not representing your constituents, wasn’t them who let you down?

    Like

  84. 98

    “Mop this up!”

    That’s the best I can do. I’ll get my coat.

    Like

  85. 99
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” And I suppose you think the Coalition is going to clear that up as well !!!”

    Like

  86. 100
    The Looney has Left says:

    No Gordon, it is not Sue’s fault, you made the mess.

    Like

  87. 101
    sweat in gordon's crack says:

    Beard “get back there and clear up”

    Brown “if you pretend to be Obama, I’ll come running in and we’ll have a summit about it”

    Beard “Gordon, this is not the fucking white house. ”

    Brown (mumble mumble…) “I saved the fucking world you know…”

    Like

  88. 102
    Steve Miliband says:

    Brown’s get dream job at MFI

    Like

  89. 104
    NuAttack Dog says:

    Gordon when I said why don’t you vacate your seat, I meant your Parliamentary one.

    Like

  90. 105
    streamfisher says:

    Who are they?

    Like

  91. 106
    Steve Miliband says:

    I’ve got one just like that in Cantebury.

    Like

  92. 107
    Handycock says:

    I would shag her.

    Like

  93. 108
    NuAttack Dog says:

    Is Mandelson responsible for that muck dripping out of your hoop Gordon?

    Like

  94. 110
    Lil Olmey says:

    Gordon, I do NOT buy this story about your imaginary friend o’Bama – I know YOU did it !

    Like

  95. 111
    Deep Who says:

    Sarah: “Come back and clean this chair”

    Gordon: “No return with broom & duster”.

    Like

  96. 112
    Notajournalist says:

    Jim Devine

    http://edinburghnews.scotsman.com/breaking-edinburgh-news/Tribunal-hears-of-bizarre-events.6580895.jp

    But when she came into the office the following day, the office manager realised it was all a big hoax.

    She said: “I went into work and checked my emails and I had access to Jim’s email.
    “There was one marked urgent so I opened it.
    “It was from Fiona Fox mostly about the Embryology Bill.
    “She is the Director at the Science Media Centre in London.
    “But at the end there was a PS said that ‘I phoned that poor woman in your office and left the message. Hope you’ve put her out of her misery.

    Fiona Fox

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiona_Fox_(UK_press_officer)

    Fiona Fox (born 1964) is the director of the Science Media Centre and a former leading member of the Revolutionary Communist Party.

    FF is sister of Claire Fox

    http://www.instituteofideas.com/people/claire_fox.html

    Claire Fox is the director of the Institute of Ideas (IoI)[sic],

    Like

  97. 113
    Martin Day says:

    Gordon I know you love getting your arse licked so I spread pedegree chum on it. Sadly I don’t have a dog, and Sarah is getting clingy.
    Now pop out to the shops for some dog food please

    Like

  98. 114
    al gore says:

    sarah – “gordon you mong, what is it with you and cupboards? your seat is over here!”

    Like

  99. 115
    streamfisher says:

    I am just stepping outside, I may be gone some time.

    Like

  100. 116
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Gordy, you’ve got glue all over the arse of your trousers!

    Like

  101. 117
  102. 119
    Andrew Efiong says:

    “I don’t believe it, you’ve actually shat on your chair”

    Like

  103. 120
    anon, anon, anon..... says:

    Put that knife back and close the drawer……..there’s no way you’re stabbing me in the back

    Like

  104. 121
    genghiz the khan says:

    Mistress Sarah : Hear Me Moan – Order-Order.co.uk’s

    Like

  105. 123
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    It wasn’ae me. A big boy crapped on the chair and ran away!

    Like

  106. 124
    Mr Pampers says:

    “Finish your tea or you won’t get to play on the rocking horse!”

    Like

  107. 125
    Dazza says:

    ‘Gordon, you may have shit all over the economy and just walked away; but if you think when you shit on the kitchen furniture you can just do the same… you can forget it’

    Like

  108. 126
    Vladikavkaz says:

    “… And once you’ve finished licking my fanny batter off that chair, you can suck my toes clean. They haven’t been washed for a week, as I knows that’s how you like ‘em”

    Like

  109. 129
    Gordon says:

    Sarah I will nay sit down I wan ma pills now.

    Like

  110. 130
    streamfisher says:

    Gordon tries to control his fury after Sarah has put wrong biscuits on table.

    Like

  111. 131
    BluRay says:

    GB: “Ah’m here for ma cabinet meeting”
    SB: “I’ve wiped the melamine tops and they’re ready for you”

    Like

  112. 132
    Stepney says:

    “You’ve left some shit”.

    “It’s what I do”.

    Like

  113. 133
    Oily Rag says:

    I told you to wear your Brown trousers today.

    Like

  114. 136
    h.e.roe says:

    You may not take your seat at work, but behaviour like that here will not be tolerated!

    Like

  115. 139
    Anonymouse says:

    Glad to see the back of him

    Like

  116. 140
    Steve Miliband says:

    Man turns back on woman after arguement about ‘poncy breakfast food’

    Like

  117. 143
    Doc Trough says:

    “….and when you’ve done that you can spend the night in the potting manse. I’m expecting to be on the telephone for quite some time.”

    Like

  118. 144
    fred says:

    Sit !

    Like

  119. 146
    Domestic Bliss says:

    SB: Gordon it’s Robinsons Jam, did you collect the Gollies?

    GB: Bigoted woman

    Like

  120. 147
    Duncan Goodhew says:

    “Don’t talk to me about cuts”
    “But Gordon, I only asked if you wanted another slice of toast?”

    Like

  121. 148
    Ratzo (an ex Labour Luvvie) says:

    Happy Families of the Political Class ( Edition 13).

    Gordon caught playing with himself in No 10 kitchen tries to place dirty magazine in dishwasher and then sneak out.

    Sarah spots the evidence and demands an explanation.

    Like

  122. 149
    Fyffes Robertson says:

    I told you not to eat all those bananas.

    Like

  123. 152

    You have shit on the country but you are not going to shit on my chair, get back here and clean it up.

    Like

  124. 153
    George Lees says:

    Was that chair taxpayer funded as well?

    Like

  125. 154
    Mother Hubbard says:

    “Gordon, Jam and oatcake is all we can afford, I told you not to run our household budget like you did the country’s.”

    Like

  126. 155
    Steve Miliband says:

    GB Thinks: That was a disaster. Should never have put me with that woman. Whose idea was that? Sue’s, I think. Just ridiculous. She’s just this sort of bigoted woman who said she used to be a Labour voter. Ridiculous.

    SB thinks: He’s an educated person, why has he come out with words like that? He’s going to lead this country and he’s calling an ordinary woman who’s just come up and asked him questions what most people would ask him – they’re not doing anything about the national debt and it’s going to be tax, tax, tax for another 20 years to get out of this national debt and he’s calling me a bigot.

    Like

  127. 156
    Mr Plum says:

    Its not my fault you exchanged your golden nuggets for bread and water

    Like

  128. 157
    Steve Miliband says:

    You sold all the Gold Blend remember

    Like

  129. 158
    Mr Plum says:

    I always said you would slam it in the cupboard

    Like

  130. 159

    Disappointment for Sarah as her demand for a really good fawkin’ on the kitchen table only sends Gordon to the cutlery drawer.

    {in this household forks are called spoony-prongs. Gordon hates Fawkes.}

    Like

  131. 160
    My old laptop says:

    No, you can’t have a knife.

    Now sit down and drink your Koolade

    Like

  132. 162
    Smegma and Fury says:

    Your potty is under the table Gordon.

    Like

  133. 163

    GORDON: Antiques Roadshow…??!!

    SARAH: I meant the chair, Gordon.

    Like

  134. 164
    Major Bonkers says:

    Why hasn’t the bugger shaved before breakfast?

    Like

    • 181
      Sir William Waad says:

      She has.

      Like

      • 203
        Major Bonkers says:

        Him: Ahm jest awf tae save the worrrrld.

        Her: Come back here right now and fill out these expenses forms! This kitchen won’t pay for itself you know! And where’s that idle cleaner?

        (Gordon Brown charged the taxpayer £9,000 for a new kitchen in 2005, and charged over £6,500 between 2004 – 2006 for a cleaner, shared with his brother Andrew.)

        Like

  135. 165
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    We have a winner in the “hunt for Johnsons missing 20th chair” competition.

    Like

  136. 166
    Pyramid says:

    SB: Gordon, come back here this instant. We must discuss our £7m overdraft!

    GB: Dinnae worry yerself lass, I’ll pay it off as soon as my £10m loan comes in.

    Like

  137. 167
    NuLiebor Stinkers says:

    Don’t you DARE just fart and then slope off out.

    Like

  138. 168
    What's Less Red Than A Milliband - A Rubber Band unless it's a postie's one says:

    Darling, you appear to have left a Cumberland sausage on the floor.

    Like

  139. 169
    Guy Fawkes Matches says:

    Get back here now. I’m sick and tired of picking up your little turds.

    Like

  140. 171

    “Gordon! The Arctic Monkeys may really wake you up in the morning, but there’s no reason to shit like one of them!”

    Like

  141. 172
    edwardian says:

    “you cannot make me sit in this, or any house”

    Like

  142. 173
    Projectile says:

    Naomi was here last night. She said you both have new Nokia’s and are going to have a fling. What do you have to say for yourself?

    Like

  143. 174
    Honour Mission says:

    ‘An empty seat in the Commons, an empty seat in the kitchen… WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SIT IN THE HOUSE??’

    Like

  144. 175
    Honour Mission says:

    Bugger Kircaldy, I mean get back to THIS seat!

    Like

  145. 176
    Anonymous says:

    “Gordon when are you going to fix that thing, it’s been there 6 months, you haven’t been to Westminster, never mind cannot make up your mind up and , for goodness sake just get it fixed!”

    Like

  146. 180
    Sir William Waad says:

    Gordon refused to do the housework, claiming that he had abolished broom and dust.

    Like

  147. 182
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Very well, Gordon, the high chair comes out again!”

    Like

  148. 183
    Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifs says:

    Gordy! Bad gordy! Sit! Sit! SIT! SIT! Heel! HEEL! There’s a good gordy!

    Like

  149. 184
    Angry Sarah says:

    Gordon come back here and explain why you sold all my gold jewelery for Euros.

    Like

  150. 185
    stanlycam says:

    SITTTTTT!

    Like

  151. 187
    Ear to the Ground says:

    “You can’t blame Blair for that”

    Like

  152. 188
    Driller Killer says:

    Sit down and drink your hemlock you worthless man, the train to Canterbury leaves in 30 minutes

    Like

  153. 189
    Ear to the Ground says:

    “That’s a double whammy”

    Like

  154. 190
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Sarah: ‘And another thing Gordon, you can pick that effing moral compass up and stick it up your effing arse – if there’s any more room.’

    Like

  155. 191
    Ear to the Ground says:

    “You cannot leave this mess for the Tories”

    Like

  156. 192

    Sarah: “Gordon! This is no time for a novel!”

    Like

  157. 193
    brooks says:

    Oi – have you left your croissant that chair?

    Like

  158. 196

    Fragrant Sarah: “Gordon! This is not time for a novel”

    Like

  159. 198
    Bank Manager says:

    At last, Gordon makes a deposit.

    Like

  160. 199
    Anonymous says:

    That’s another bloody mess you’ve left there !

    Like

  161. 200
    Anonymous says:

    Man gets crumbs on beard.

    Like

  162. 201
    A humbled Mr Geeks is very sorry Guido :( says:

    Sarah: “Gordon! This is no time for a novel!!”

    Like

  163. 202
    Tomeraider says:

    Oh darling, don’t forget your manuscript! It’s that little pile of ashes over there…

    Like

  164. 204
    Article 38 says:

    “Bring out the Gimp!”

    Like

  165. 205
    augustine the hippo says:

    Come here now Gordon, it’s time to change your nappy.

    Like

  166. 206

    Go to your room, and do as you are told. You are a very bad boy.

    Like

  167. 207
    BluRay says:

    Voice from small UFO (to the right of lamp): “We’ve made first contact and there’s no intelligent life on this planet”

    Like

  168. 208
    Dan says:

    No Gordon, you can’t keep borring teabags from the neighbours

    Like

  169. 209
    Ena-V says:

    Oh Gord, you don’t have to pretend you’re working class any more, we havn’t got an outside lavvy!

    Like

  170. 210
    Anonymous says:

    Sarah, where’s Omaha? I was hoping to head him off in the kitchen again.

    Like

  171. 211
    Banana boat says:

    Sarah, where’s Omaha? I was hoping to head him off in the kitchen again.

    Like

    • 222
      Cato Street Conspirator says:

      Sarah: ‘Gordon, where’s Obama? I was hoping to give him head in the kitchen again.’

      Like

  172. 212

    “Now sit down there and GIVE THOSE TAXPAYERS BACK THEIR MONEY!!”

    Like

  173. 213
    purpleline says:

    No Gordon that is not where we have the washing machine where we wash all your dodgy expenses. That is up in Fife.

    Like

  174. 214
    Nanny State says:

    It looks like your ankle bracelet is chafing again. Sit down here and let me check it.

    Like

  175. 215
    David Bean says:

    “Here is a place reserved, sir. What is’t that moves your highness?”

    Like

  176. 217
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    “No, Gordon, not the Americans, not the bankers, not Mandelson – they didn’t make that mess – it was YOU. Now clear it up!”

    Like

  177. 218
    genghiz the khan says:

    Gordon, I thought you’d got a Chair at Harvard, but this one’s from IKEA.

    Like

  178. 219
    Charles Smetherington says:

    When I said “You shit!” it wasn’t an order.

    Like

  179. 220
    Cassandrina says:

    If you want to escape broken Britain and get that top financial job in Brussels you will have to learn to like croissants.

    Like

  180. 221
    The last quango in paris says:

    Not again! I said SIT

    Like

  181. 223
    Steve Miliband says:

    Mr & Mrs Brown reminisce about the time they met Mr Obama in the kitchen

    Like

  182. 224
    rightallalong says:

    You won’t find the gold in there ! Now sit down and I’ll remind you again what you did with it.

    Like

  183. 225
    How He Got His Mouth-Gape (Once More) says:

    Picture him laying naked on his back.Hands grasping the backs of his thighs,mouth straining toward his erection.Thinking ‘Just anoth inch’ – mouth-gape.

    Like

  184. 226
    Blair's Paid Ego Parrot says:

    ‘Have you seen my personality,darling?’ ‘You don’t have one! Now come and eat your words.’

    Like

  185. 227
    Muuurty's Ghuuurst. says:

    I didn’t think you were coming out of that closet Gordon.

    Like

  186. 228
    guardian hack says:

    This article was amended after publication to remove an inaccuracy that was introduced during the editing process.

    Like

  187. 229
    I Hate New Labour says:

    “And seated here, Gordon, are all the people that think you did a good job as PM.”

    Like

  188. 230
    Another little mess... says:

    Sarah: Yes Gordon, I know this mess isn’t your fault, it started in America, so I suppose you can leave the table.

    Gordon: Thank you and goodbye!

    Like

  189. 231
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon you havn’t taken your medication again.

    Like

  190. 232
    Auntie Flo' says:

    “Gordon, don’t you dare! So what if everyone hates you, if you break off any more cupboard doors I’m asking Dr Shrink to send you back to the funny farm!”

    Like

  191. 233
    GORDON McBUST says:

    “Sit back down and finish your sprouts or it’s NO strokie cockie for you tonight “

    Like

  192. 234
    GORDON McBUST says:

    I didn’t call you a sink!
    I said you fucking stink !

    Like

  193. 235
    GORDON McBUST says:

    When i said you are all washed up
    i meant…Oh forget it !

    Like

  194. 236
    GORDON McBUST says:

    Gordon ! Gordon ! Get that cleaned up !

    Like

  195. 237
    Auntie Flo' says:

    “We’ll never live last night down, Gordon. How many times do I have to tell you that when a chef invites you to taste his Cocky Leaky it has NOTHING to do with his willy!”

    Like

  196. 238
    Cataloguebride says:

    Gordon you better get to like it in England jock, i’m off home. Alex Salmond may have called for your backing but i ain’t staying in this god forsaken hole. Even the seat is full of fucking holes and there is fuckall left. That minister you employed wasn’t lying when he said the cupboard was bare.

    Like

  197. 239
    Anonymous says:

    “Don’t you dear use the down stairs toilet come back and use your commode.”

    Like

  198. 240
    jealouswoman says:

    Gordon
    Why did you not go to the house of lords with the other socialists John, Mick, Neil and Glynis. Ed says he will pay millionaires family allowance you know. We could buy bacon and egg for breakfast instead of this foreign shit.

    Like

  199. 241
    wiseman says:

    It’s no good Darling. I have to go to bed, the stab marks of the knives in my back are hurting. If the shithouse comrades ring to ask how i am tell them to fuck off.

    Like

  200. 242
    Media whore says:

    Sarah: And this is where Tom Bower will be sitting.

    Like

  201. 243
    neverthought says:

    If you don’t stop shouting dance muppet dance i am sending you back to the catalogue.
    It wasn’t my fault that all the comrades shafted me.

    Like

  202. 244
    Anonymous says:

    Sarah – Hang on Gordon, come back, look here, you’ve left a bit of a mess
    Gordon – What mess, I can’t see it, I’m fucking blind

    Like

  203. 247
    Anonymous says:

    Come back and pull my Finger bitch.

    Like

  204. 249
    Alan Douglas says:

    “… and clean up that brown substance NOW !”

    Alan Douglas

    Like

  205. 250
    Anonymous says:

    Brown declines unsuitable kitchen cabinet position.

    Like

  206. 251
    Ear to the Ground says:

    That’s another mess for Cameron to clean up!

    Like

  207. 252
    HappySlayer says:

    Sarah : “Sit down and write something funny! If you couldn’t win the election, you might at least win a book about it !”

    Like

  208. 254
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Voice from outside the door…”Taxi for Broon?”

    Sarah – “Thank fuck for that”

    Like

  209. 255
    Yvonne says:

    Don’t go poopy on chair go poopy in splash splash.

    Like

  210. 256
    Domestic Bliss says:

    Sarah the carer:

    ‘And just where the fuck do you think you’re going? Get your sorry arse back here – now!’

    Rainman:

    ‘I was just going to go up to my bedroom and write a couple of chapters for my new book.’

    Sarah the carer:

    ‘Not the stupid book again. All I hear about is that bloody book, day and night, night and day. Christ, sometimes I wish I was fucking dead. Listen, if you don’t shut the fuck up about that bloody book, I swear I’ll shove this jar of jam up your arse. Do you hear me?’

    Like

  211. 257
    Anonymous says:

    There appears to be a deficit of Gordon on this chair.

    Like

  212. 258
    duped says:

    When you told me you had piles i thought you meant piles of cash like the other labour cabinet members.

    Like

  213. 260
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Sorry, Sarah, I must rush – I I have to do a big jobby. Keep my bedtime milk warm.

    Like

  214. 261
    Get back to work Gordon you lazy fuck says:

    Gordon! Your butt plug has fallen out.

    Like

  215. 262
    George says:

    SB: “Gordon…I love you.”

    GB: [pause] “Thanks.”

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Hunt Told Off By Former Head | TES
Scrap Tax on Family Flights | ConHome
Has May Declared War on Downing Street? | James Kirkup
The Nasty Left | Dan Hodges
Men Flock to UKIP | Andrew Cadman
London-Britain Divide | Alex Wickham
Pickles Puts Prezza’s Surplus Stationary to Use | Speccie
How Capitalists Can Win the Argument | CapX
Theresa May, or Maybe Not | Spectator Life
YouGov: Working Class Prefers UKIP to Labour | Times
Sainsbury’s Disowns Left-Wing Blogger | Mail


Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


A ‘senior Conservative party official’ passes judgement on Theresa May:

“She is boring. A technocrat. She is Philip Hammond with a fanny. Not interesting, but rendered interesting by circumstance. And that circumstance is that she is a woman. And in an age when the Prime Minister gets it in the neck for refusing to wear a fucking T-shirt that says he is a feminist, that is a rocket boost right underneath you.”



Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,608 other followers