October 15th, 2010

Friday Caption Contest (Naughty Chair Edition)


262 Comments

  1. 1
    Steve Miliband says:

    Ex Prime Ministers wife points to where French President is sitting

  2. 2
    concrete pump says:

    I suppose that’s the cats fault AGAIN!

  3. 3
    Uddin says:

    Blatant Photo-shop job puts Brown and Beard in same room.

  4. 4

    “And don’t forget to empty the bin before you go off and empty the economy”

  5. 5

    ” I’ve told you before not to leave your red penis pump on the granite work surfaces.”

  6. 6
    Steve Miliband says:

    Sarah Brown explains seating arrangement for forthcoming ‘summit meeting’ with Barack Obama

  7. 7
    Gordon Brown says:

    Just had a phone call from my book publisher. He said publishing my self-congratulatory book about the financial crisis and how I saved the world would be a flop – like “throwing good money after bad”.

    He said I’d be better off writing a book about “How to groom and maintain a beard”.

  8. 8
    crip says:

    Goddammit Gordon, The toilet is upstairs.

    OR

    so you want to replace that chair with your rockinghorse?

    OR

    Sit down and finish your fizzy orange juice, then you can go save the world!

  9. 9
    Kester says:

    “Don’t you just walk away, you caused this mess, now you can clean it up!”

  10. 10

    And you can pick up that damned Nokia before you go off saving the world again.

  11. 11
    concrete pump says:

    SIT back down, you’ve got humble pie to eat…

  12. 12
    John Cipher says:

    You can play outside after your memoirs.

  13. 13
    Selohesra says:

    Sarah – I love you darling
    Gordon – I love you too darling

  14. 14
    Andy M says:

    You can look all you like but you’re not taking another tenner out my purse

  15. 15
    Steve Miliband says:

    Sarah Brown explains seating plan for the return ‘summit meeting’ with Barack Obama

  16. 16

    Gordon: “We need a fresh Miliband for the dishwasher, darling”.

  17. 17

    “.. I don’t care, Gordon. You promised to take the boys to Rugrats. You can ‘save the world’ later. Which reminds me. While you’re in the shed, check on the tortoise will you.”

  18. 18
    The Watcher says:

    Get your ass back here now Gordon! Just because the British public are glad to see the back of you doesn’t mean I am. Come and finish your kippers!

  19. 19
    Steve Miliband says:

    If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    I told you all that fizzy orange would play havoc with your bowels.

  21. 21
    IanVisits says:

    The man who’s not for turning walks backwards to the kitchen chair, verbally assisted by his wife.

  22. 22
    simon r says:

    Obey me now Gordon or that Chilean mine with have a new resident !

  23. 23

    That’s where Sally Bercow was sitting. Take it out and burn it would you dear, I don’t want to risk catching anything.”

  24. 24
    Fiddler-Diddler says:

    “Is that chair as empty as your promises Gordon?” said his wife, adoringly for the camera.

  25. 25
    simon r says:

    Whilst Ed faces his first PMQs Gordon gets to deal with PMT’s

  26. 26

    “Who spilt Chocolate Cheerios on his chair this morning?”

  27. 27
  28. 28
    Gene Hunt says:

    “Get back here this instant you spineless, incompetent, one eyed, Scottish wankstain!”

  29. 29

    “It’s my birthday and you’re dining at the Y, Gordie.”

  30. 30
    concrete pump says:

    Sit down Gordon, the cupboard door does NOT lead to Narnia.

  31. 31
    13eastie says:

    “My hero!”

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Go on now go, walk out the door,
    Just turn around now, cause you’re not welcome anymore…

  33. 33

    You’re not the Messiah, you’re a very naughty boy!

  34. 34
    Gene Hunt says:

    “That fucking chair has more of a personality than you do you good for nothing sack of shite!”

  35. 35
    Skool was cool says:

    If you don’t clean up your spilt fizzy orange then you can go to the naughty corner Gordon.

  36. 36
    Jess says:

    “Come back Gordon. You know the rules. You can’t get down from the table till you’ve finished”.

  37. 37
    Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen sucks says:

    Which hospital trust did they steal the sink from?

  38. 38
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    On a different note, have you seen that the pope doesn’t want to meet Mrs.Sarko?
    Something to do with her tits I believe.

  39. 39
    Martin Day says:

    Sarah says “Gordon, where are your manners?, you didn’t ask permission of Speaker Bercow sitting here to get up and leave”

  40. 40
    crip says:

    I want payment for my work, stop extending the contract!

  41. 41
    Steve Miliband says:

    It’s C….H….A….I…..R

  42. 42
    Cruishank says:

    Gordon! You`ve left the most massive deficit on this chair. I`m going to ask Dave and Nick round to clear it up.

  43. 43
    Edward Balls says:

    Gordon, I’m not your slave, tuck your chair in when you leave the table!

  44. 44
    Jack says:

    Sit down and take your pills Gordo..

  45. 45
    gildedtumbril says:

    That is a chair, not a commode, you arsehole!

  46. 46

    Gordon spotted the kippers in the laundry basket and then understood why breakfast had tasted like a beard’s knickers.

  47. 47
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    Gordon: It’s Ashcrofts fault.

  48. 48
    Trousers Mandelson says:

    I always though you wore the trousers Sarah….

  49. 49
    Gene Hunt says:

    “The revolver is in the top drawer darling. I’ll leave a glass of whiskey for you here.”

  50. 50
    Thuggie Whelan says:

    I though I had got rid of you Trousers…

    Gone non-dom like Tone then ?

  51. 51
    Gene Hunt says:

    Haw!

  52. 52
    Bob says:

    Applause…

  53. 53

    Confusion reigns with an unexpected visit from David Miliband just as the order “do something about that little turd” is ringing in the ex-PM’s ears.

  54. 54
    Steve Miliband says:

    They want you to be the Chair of the MFI

  55. 55
    concrete pump says:

    Gordon is reminded by his wife that he still has a constituency seat.

  56. 56
    Backwoodsman says:

    No you can’t hide in the broom cupboard again Get your arse downstairs and sort it out.

  57. 57

    Broony Comic Quiz
    {Use a crayon to circle your answers.You can ask an adult to help you.}

    -Circle all the mugs in this picture?
    -Sarah has hidden Gordon’s Kryptonite. Can you guess where?
    -One of the things in this picture cost the taxpayers £2,200. It was the sink.
    Another cost the taxpayer almost a trillion pounds. Can you find it?

  58. 58
    Willsteed says:

    Listen! ….. actually no, don’t bother. I think I see why the British hate you so much.

  59. 59
    Tom FD says:

    Mr and Mrs Brown host a party for all the people who elected Gordon to the post of Prime Minister.

  60. 60
    Steve Miliband says:

    Yet again a picture of Mr Brown provides post after post of comedy gold! He may have been the worst PM ever but at least he has left a legacy.

  61. 61
    Uddin says:

    Claps!

  62. 62

    Seeing as how he pays £12,000 for a ‘shared’ cleaner with his brother, you’d not expect the sink to be so full of dirties would you?

  63. 63
    Gordon's Glass Steagall eye Bankrupted the Country says:

    I’m going to look for my parliamentary seat,
    The only seat the country wish you to sit at. is there, and your bloody lucky that’s not in a padded cell.

  64. 64
    Backwoodsman says:

    or.. Heading to the sink, “you aren’t fucking French, why can’t you just swallow the tablets like everyone else in this country “?

  65. 65
    brooks says:

    Sit down – you scabby headed wain

  66. 66
    BluRay says:

    GB: “All political careers end in failure, Sarah”
    SB: “Yours started with it”

  67. 67
    I Squiggle says:

    Now sit down and for God’s sake decide, once and for all, which mug you’re going to drink from..

  68. 68
    filipinomonkey says:

    “are you still searching for your moral compass darling, as I think I see it under the sink…”

  69. 69
    Lord Yorkshire says:

    Yes the cupboards are bare again Gordon. Take this chair here and see what you can get for it.

  70. 70
    The Looney has Left says:

    I have had my imaginary bacon sandwich now I am going to take my imaginary dog for a walk.

  71. 71
    concrete pump says:

    “Gordon, your butt plug’s fallen out”.

  72. 72
    Watt Tyler says:

    “Now sit down, freak. I saw this photo of you ( http://eotp.org/2009/05/08/2009-new-labour-unelected-p-m-gordon-brown-parasite/ ) and it seems I better straighten you out.”

  73. 73
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” Is that a Brown stain I can see on that chair ?”

  74. 74
    Greg Beales says:

    Gordon

    “I’m so pissed off and Margaret Thatcher must be gutted…

    Her 85th birthday and the only thing on telly is miners celebrating!

  75. 75
    Gene Hunt says:

    LOL!

  76. 76
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Gordon, you can go out and play with Dr Kelly when you’ve finished your breakfast.”

  77. 77
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Quick, or you’ll lose your seat.”

  78. 78

    Agreed Steve.
    He’s a giver having been a taker for so long.

    taking the pensions, taking the freedoms, taking the piss….

  79. 79
    Sleepless in Kirkaldy says:

    When you said you had deposited the book advance, I didn’t think you meant there

  80. 80

    “I said ‘eat your lentils’ not ‘you’re mental’. Now sit back down and finish your lunch.”

  81. 81
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Gordon, please don’t leave gay porno magazines lying around the house!

  82. 82

    While pointing to a soiled chair
    My thoughts flew back to Tony Blair.
    Might not have reined the wicked witch in?
    At least he left a tidy kitchen.

  83. 83
    Jethro Q. Walrus Titty says:

    “Gordon you’ve shat on the chair again!”

  84. 84
    Benedict XVI says:

    Nein, it is ze foul Schmeck of Nuttendiesel zat makes me feel sick…

  85. 85
    Joint-runner-up says:

    “Gordon, are you still fretting?”

  86. 86
    Deathwish Drang says:

    A winner!

  87. 87
    Bob says:

    O/T

    Guido

    This case seems to have passed under the radar …

    I therefore uphold this complaint.

    Re Mr and Mrs Keen MP²

    “121. This is in my view a serious breach of the rules involving significant public funds. But Mr and Mrs Keen clearly both believed that it should have been permissible for them to continue to claim in full on their London property because they still saw Brentford as their main home. They were reinforced in this view when the House authorities agreed that their claims could continue to be met. And it did not seem to occur to either of them (or indeed to the Department) that Mr and Mrs Keen’s use of their publicly-funded second home in place of their Brentford property gave them a personal financial benefit. A more rigorous examination of their circumstances might have led Mr and Mrs Keen to take a different view. But the evidence is that they were preoccupied by a great many other competing priorities, which themselves probably contributed to the delay in getting their house back into use. The result is that some of the costs arising from their building problems were unnecessarily carried on parliamentary funds. I think it is a mitigating factor that the Department twice considered their circumstances in 2009 and twice agreed that they could continue to regard Brentford as their main home and so continue to claim in full for their London flat. Nevertheless, Members are responsible for their own actions and I consider that both Members were equally responsible for what I regard as a serious misjudgement.

    24 February 2010 John Lyon CB”

  88. 88
    Benedict XVI says:

    A Papal Knighthood for that one.

  89. 89
    Captain Oates says:

    I’m Just going for a short walk darling.
    Oh Gordon, I’m so proud you will have the whole Country behind you at last.

  90. 90
    concrete pump says:

    Gordon makes a hasty exit as Sarah enquires as to who has the receipts for the kitchen furniture.

  91. 91
    Steve Miliband says:

    Come back here immediately! I said you’re rubbish, not your rubbish.

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    don’t blame the dog

  93. 93
    Bobert says:

    Man leaves home every morning pretending to go to work.

  94. 94
    13eastie says:

    Gordon’s absconds. Kircaldy seat remains vacant.

  95. 95
    Bob says:

    And this one got under the radar as well…

    “d) Overall conclusion

    164. I have concluded that Mr Cohen was in breach of the rules of the House in identifying his property in Colchester as one of his homes for the purpose of parliamentary allowances from April 2004 to August 2008. If the Committee were not to accept that conclusion, I consider that Mr Cohen nevertheless breached the rules of the House in identifying his Colchester property rather than his constituency property as his main home during the same period, thus enabling him to make claims against his Additional Costs Allowance on his constituency home in London. In this respect, I uphold the complaint.

    165. Mr Cohen was also in breach of the rules in relation to the registration of Members’ interests by not consistently registering his Colchester property and the income he received from it from 2004 to 2008. This was not the subject of the complaint.

    166. I consider that Mr Cohen’s arrangements for his properties represented a particularly serious breach of the rules of the House. It was a breach sustained over some four and a half years. Had Mr Cohen considered his position more objectively and had he more fully and explicitly consulted the House authorities, the breach could have been avoided. I recognise the difficult circumstances through which Mr Cohen has lived over this period, and I sympathise with his wife’s continuing episodes of ill health, which clearly put a heavy strain on them both. But the consequence of Mr Cohen’s decisions was that he continued making substantial claims against his Additional Costs Allowance for his constituency home. Those claims, in my view, were not in accordance with the rules of the House and they resulted therefore in his receiving payments to which he was not entitled.
    13 January 2010 John Lyon CB”

  96. 96
    Rickytshirt says:

    Gordon, you’re not going out to play with Denis until you sit back down and apologies to me for being so rude and grumpy…and for making a mess of your bedroom…and the country as a whole.

  97. 97
    Bazz says:

    Gorgon, you place is here, not representing your constituents, wasn’t them who let you down?

  98. 98

    “Mop this up!”

    That’s the best I can do. I’ll get my coat.

  99. 99
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” And I suppose you think the Coalition is going to clear that up as well !!!”

  100. 100
    The Looney has Left says:

    No Gordon, it is not Sue’s fault, you made the mess.

  101. 101
    sweat in gordon's crack says:

    Beard “get back there and clear up”

    Brown “if you pretend to be Obama, I’ll come running in and we’ll have a summit about it”

    Beard “Gordon, this is not the fucking white house. ”

    Brown (mumble mumble…) “I saved the fucking world you know…”

  102. 102
    Steve Miliband says:

    Brown’s get dream job at MFI

  103. 103
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    http://tinyurl.com/realreasonyouoldsod

    Warning: this link contains a very nice picture.

  104. 104
    NuAttack Dog says:

    Gordon when I said why don’t you vacate your seat, I meant your Parliamentary one.

  105. 105
    streamfisher says:

    Who are they?

  106. 106
    Steve Miliband says:

    I’ve got one just like that in Cantebury.

  107. 107
    Handycock says:

    I would shag her.

  108. 108
    NuAttack Dog says:

    Is Mandelson responsible for that muck dripping out of your hoop Gordon?

  109. 109
    P. Doff says:

    Like it… and an unexpectedly different twist!

  110. 110
    Lil Olmey says:

    Gordon, I do NOT buy this story about your imaginary friend o’Bama – I know YOU did it !

  111. 111
    Deep Who says:

    Sarah: “Come back and clean this chair”

    Gordon: “No return with broom & duster”.

  112. 112
    Notajournalist says:

    Jim Devine

    http://edinburghnews.scotsman.com/breaking-edinburgh-news/Tribunal-hears-of-bizarre-events.6580895.jp

    But when she came into the office the following day, the office manager realised it was all a big hoax.

    She said: “I went into work and checked my emails and I had access to Jim’s email.
    “There was one marked urgent so I opened it.
    “It was from Fiona Fox mostly about the Embryology Bill.
    “She is the Director at the Science Media Centre in London.
    “But at the end there was a PS said that ‘I phoned that poor woman in your office and left the message. Hope you’ve put her out of her misery.

    Fiona Fox

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiona_Fox_(UK_press_officer)

    Fiona Fox (born 1964) is the director of the Science Media Centre and a former leading member of the Revolutionary Communist Party.

    FF is sister of Claire Fox

    http://www.instituteofideas.com/people/claire_fox.html

    Claire Fox is the director of the Institute of Ideas (IoI)[sic],

  113. 113
    Martin Day says:

    Gordon I know you love getting your arse licked so I spread pedegree chum on it. Sadly I don’t have a dog, and Sarah is getting clingy.
    Now pop out to the shops for some dog food please

  114. 114
    al gore says:

    sarah – “gordon you mong, what is it with you and cupboards? your seat is over here!”

  115. 115
    streamfisher says:

    I am just stepping outside, I may be gone some time.

  116. 116
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Gordy, you’ve got glue all over the arse of your trousers!

  117. 117
  118. 118
    genghiz the khan says:

    No return to broom and dust.

  119. 119
    Andrew Efiong says:

    “I don’t believe it, you’ve actually shat on your chair”

  120. 120
    anon, anon, anon..... says:

    Put that knife back and close the drawer……..there’s no way you’re stabbing me in the back

  121. 121
    genghiz the khan says:

    Mistress Sarah : Hear Me Moan – Order-Order.co.uk’s

  122. 122
    Mike Hunt says:

    That’s the winner for me.

  123. 123
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    It wasn’ae me. A big boy crapped on the chair and ran away!

  124. 124
    Mr Pampers says:

    “Finish your tea or you won’t get to play on the rocking horse!”

  125. 125
    Dazza says:

    ‘Gordon, you may have shit all over the economy and just walked away; but if you think when you shit on the kitchen furniture you can just do the same… you can forget it’

  126. 126
    Vladikavkaz says:

    “… And once you’ve finished licking my fanny batter off that chair, you can suck my toes clean. They haven’t been washed for a week, as I knows that’s how you like ‘em”

  127. 127
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Aye

  128. 128
    genghiz the khan says:

    Mistress Sarah’s Slave Training Ends In Failure.

  129. 129
    Gordon says:

    Sarah I will nay sit down I wan ma pills now.

  130. 130
    streamfisher says:

    Gordon tries to control his fury after Sarah has put wrong biscuits on table.

  131. 131
    BluRay says:

    GB: “Ah’m here for ma cabinet meeting”
    SB: “I’ve wiped the melamine tops and they’re ready for you”

  132. 132
    Stepney says:

    “You’ve left some shit”.

    “It’s what I do”.

  133. 133
    Oily Rag says:

    I told you to wear your Brown trousers today.

  134. 134
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Wouldn’t it be better if there was a photo of Brown in 1998 saying that.

    “That’s the best I can do. I’ll get my coat.”

  135. 135
    literate pedant says:

    delinquent escapes kirkcaldy’s shambolic back-to-work scheme whilst nurse’s back is turned………

  136. 136
    h.e.roe says:

    You may not take your seat at work, but behaviour like that here will not be tolerated!

  137. 137
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    he’s got a point though. Croissants? I don’t think I’ve met anyone who actually likes them

  138. 138
    Sheikh Imandyrattles says:

    Maoi maoi.
    Today I will be a cat.

  139. 139
    Anonymouse says:

    Glad to see the back of him

  140. 140
    Steve Miliband says:

    Man turns back on woman after arguement about ‘poncy breakfast food’

  141. 141
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    MAY??????!!!!!!!

  142. 142
    Steve Miliband the second says:

    Dyslexic couple get dream job at MFI

  143. 143
    Doc Trough says:

    “….and when you’ve done that you can spend the night in the potting manse. I’m expecting to be on the telephone for quite some time.”

  144. 144
    fred says:

    Sit !

  145. 145
    streamfisher says:

    Could be a Cornish pasty, Turnip & Swede.

  146. 146
    Domestic Bliss says:

    SB: Gordon it’s Robinsons Jam, did you collect the Gollies?

    GB: Bigoted woman

  147. 147
    Duncan Goodhew says:

    “Don’t talk to me about cuts”
    “But Gordon, I only asked if you wanted another slice of toast?”

  148. 148
    Ratzo (an ex Labour Luvvie) says:

    Happy Families of the Political Class ( Edition 13).

    Gordon caught playing with himself in No 10 kitchen tries to place dirty magazine in dishwasher and then sneak out.

    Sarah spots the evidence and demands an explanation.

  149. 149
    Fyffes Robertson says:

    I told you not to eat all those bananas.

  150. 150
    Sleepless in Kirkaldy says:

    Agreed

  151. 151
    Geezer says:

    Sarah: Gordon, you’ve forgotten these mugs

    Gordon: I used to be Prime Minister…in charge of millions of mugs…

  152. 152

    You have shit on the country but you are not going to shit on my chair, get back here and clean it up.

  153. 153
    George Lees says:

    Was that chair taxpayer funded as well?

  154. 154
    Mother Hubbard says:

    “Gordon, Jam and oatcake is all we can afford, I told you not to run our household budget like you did the country’s.”

  155. 155
    Steve Miliband says:

    GB Thinks: That was a disaster. Should never have put me with that woman. Whose idea was that? Sue’s, I think. Just ridiculous. She’s just this sort of bigoted woman who said she used to be a Labour voter. Ridiculous.

    SB thinks: He’s an educated person, why has he come out with words like that? He’s going to lead this country and he’s calling an ordinary woman who’s just come up and asked him questions what most people would ask him – they’re not doing anything about the national debt and it’s going to be tax, tax, tax for another 20 years to get out of this national debt and he’s calling me a bigot.

  156. 156
    Mr Plum says:

    Its not my fault you exchanged your golden nuggets for bread and water

  157. 157
    Steve Miliband says:

    You sold all the Gold Blend remember

  158. 158
    Mr Plum says:

    I always said you would slam it in the cupboard

  159. 159

    Disappointment for Sarah as her demand for a really good fawkin’ on the kitchen table only sends Gordon to the cutlery drawer.

    {in this household forks are called spoony-prongs. Gordon hates Fawkes.}

  160. 160
    My old laptop says:

    No, you can’t have a knife.

    Now sit down and drink your Koolade

  161. 161
  162. 162
    Smegma and Fury says:

    Your potty is under the table Gordon.

  163. 163

    GORDON: Antiques Roadshow…??!!

    SARAH: I meant the chair, Gordon.

  164. 164
    Major Bonkers says:

    Why hasn’t the bugger shaved before breakfast?

  165. 165
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    We have a winner in the “hunt for Johnsons missing 20th chair” competition.

  166. 166
    Pyramid says:

    SB: Gordon, come back here this instant. We must discuss our £7m overdraft!

    GB: Dinnae worry yerself lass, I’ll pay it off as soon as my £10m loan comes in.

  167. 167
    NuLiebor Stinkers says:

    Don’t you DARE just fart and then slope off out.

  168. 168
    What's Less Red Than A Milliband - A Rubber Band unless it's a postie's one says:

    Darling, you appear to have left a Cumberland sausage on the floor.

  169. 169
    Guy Fawkes Matches says:

    Get back here now. I’m sick and tired of picking up your little turds.

  170. 170
  171. 171

    “Gordon! The Arctic Monkeys may really wake you up in the morning, but there’s no reason to shit like one of them!”

  172. 172
    edwardian says:

    “you cannot make me sit in this, or any house”

  173. 173
    Projectile says:

    Naomi was here last night. She said you both have new Nokia’s and are going to have a fling. What do you have to say for yourself?

  174. 174
    Honour Mission says:

    ‘An empty seat in the Commons, an empty seat in the kitchen… WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SIT IN THE HOUSE??’

  175. 175
    Honour Mission says:

    Bugger Kircaldy, I mean get back to THIS seat!

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    “Gordon when are you going to fix that thing, it’s been there 6 months, you haven’t been to Westminster, never mind cannot make up your mind up and , for goodness sake just get it fixed!”

  177. 177
  178. 178
    Anonymous says:

    I cam’t I have an irrestable urge to go somewhere!

  179. 179
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Gordon! Are you going to clean that up?
    No. That’s a jobby for Mark Oaten

  180. 180
    Sir William Waad says:

    Gordon refused to do the housework, claiming that he had abolished broom and dust.

  181. 181
    Sir William Waad says:

    She has.

  182. 182
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Very well, Gordon, the high chair comes out again!”

  183. 183
    Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifs says:

    Gordy! Bad gordy! Sit! Sit! SIT! SIT! Heel! HEEL! There’s a good gordy!

  184. 184
    Angry Sarah says:

    Gordon come back here and explain why you sold all my gold jewelery for Euros.

  185. 185
    stanlycam says:

    SITTTTTT!

  186. 186
    Johnny says says:

    Yes. He prefers them like the fallen Madonna with the big boobies.

  187. 187
    Ear to the Ground says:

    “You can’t blame Blair for that”

  188. 188
    Driller Killer says:

    Sit down and drink your hemlock you worthless man, the train to Canterbury leaves in 30 minutes

  189. 189
    Ear to the Ground says:

    “That’s a double whammy”

  190. 190
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Sarah: ‘And another thing Gordon, you can pick that effing moral compass up and stick it up your effing arse – if there’s any more room.’

  191. 191
    Ear to the Ground says:

    “You cannot leave this mess for the Tories”

  192. 192

    Sarah: “Gordon! This is no time for a novel!”

  193. 193
    brooks says:

    Oi – have you left your croissant that chair?

  194. 194
    Splooge says:

    ** Applause **

  195. 195
    Splooge says:

    *claps*

  196. 196

    Fragrant Sarah: “Gordon! This is not time for a novel”

  197. 197
    Beard says:

    No, no

    You don’t repeat the real comment, you invent a new one.

    It’s a sort of game, you see

    I’m told they can be terribly amusing

  198. 198
    Bank Manager says:

    At last, Gordon makes a deposit.

  199. 199
    Anonymous says:

    That’s another bloody mess you’ve left there !

  200. 200
    Anonymous says:

    Man gets crumbs on beard.

  201. 201
    A humbled Mr Geeks is very sorry Guido :( says:

    Sarah: “Gordon! This is no time for a novel!!”

  202. 202
    Tomeraider says:

    Oh darling, don’t forget your manuscript! It’s that little pile of ashes over there…

  203. 203
    Major Bonkers says:

    Him: Ahm jest awf tae save the worrrrld.

    Her: Come back here right now and fill out these expenses forms! This kitchen won’t pay for itself you know! And where’s that idle cleaner?

    (Gordon Brown charged the taxpayer £9,000 for a new kitchen in 2005, and charged over £6,500 between 2004 – 2006 for a cleaner, shared with his brother Andrew.)

  204. 204
    Article 38 says:

    “Bring out the Gimp!”

  205. 205
    augustine the hippo says:

    Come here now Gordon, it’s time to change your nappy.

  206. 206

    Go to your room, and do as you are told. You are a very bad boy.

  207. 207
    BluRay says:

    Voice from small UFO (to the right of lamp): “We’ve made first contact and there’s no intelligent life on this planet”

  208. 208
    Dan says:

    No Gordon, you can’t keep borring teabags from the neighbours

  209. 209
    Ena-V says:

    Oh Gord, you don’t have to pretend you’re working class any more, we havn’t got an outside lavvy!

  210. 210
    Anonymous says:

    Sarah, where’s Omaha? I was hoping to head him off in the kitchen again.

  211. 211
    Banana boat says:

    Sarah, where’s Omaha? I was hoping to head him off in the kitchen again.

  212. 212

    “Now sit down there and GIVE THOSE TAXPAYERS BACK THEIR MONEY!!”

  213. 213
    purpleline says:

    No Gordon that is not where we have the washing machine where we wash all your dodgy expenses. That is up in Fife.

  214. 214
    Nanny State says:

    It looks like your ankle bracelet is chafing again. Sit down here and let me check it.

  215. 215
    David Bean says:

    “Here is a place reserved, sir. What is’t that moves your highness?”

  216. 216
    Sadiq Khan says:

    Gets my vote, and those of all of my constituents of course.

  217. 217
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    “No, Gordon, not the Americans, not the bankers, not Mandelson – they didn’t make that mess – it was YOU. Now clear it up!”

  218. 218
    genghiz the khan says:

    Gordon, I thought you’d got a Chair at Harvard, but this one’s from IKEA.

  219. 219
    Charles Smetherington says:

    When I said “You shit!” it wasn’t an order.

  220. 220
    Cassandrina says:

    If you want to escape broken Britain and get that top financial job in Brussels you will have to learn to like croissants.

  221. 221
    The last quango in paris says:

    Not again! I said SIT

  222. 222
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Sarah: ‘Gordon, where’s Obama? I was hoping to give him head in the kitchen again.’

  223. 223
    Steve Miliband says:

    Mr & Mrs Brown reminisce about the time they met Mr Obama in the kitchen

  224. 224
    rightallalong says:

    You won’t find the gold in there ! Now sit down and I’ll remind you again what you did with it.

  225. 225
    How He Got His Mouth-Gape (Once More) says:

    Picture him laying naked on his back.Hands grasping the backs of his thighs,mouth straining toward his erection.Thinking ‘Just anoth inch’ – mouth-gape.

  226. 226
    Blair's Paid Ego Parrot says:

    ‘Have you seen my personality,darling?’ ‘You don’t have one! Now come and eat your words.’

  227. 227
    Muuurty's Ghuuurst. says:

    I didn’t think you were coming out of that closet Gordon.

  228. 228
    guardian hack says:

    This article was amended after publication to remove an inaccuracy that was introduced during the editing process.

  229. 229
    I Hate New Labour says:

    “And seated here, Gordon, are all the people that think you did a good job as PM.”

  230. 230
    Another little mess... says:

    Sarah: Yes Gordon, I know this mess isn’t your fault, it started in America, so I suppose you can leave the table.

    Gordon: Thank you and goodbye!

  231. 231
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon you havn’t taken your medication again.

  232. 232
    Auntie Flo' says:

    “Gordon, don’t you dare! So what if everyone hates you, if you break off any more cupboard doors I’m asking Dr Shrink to send you back to the funny farm!”

  233. 233
    GORDON McBUST says:

    “Sit back down and finish your sprouts or it’s NO strokie cockie for you tonight “

  234. 234
    GORDON McBUST says:

    I didn’t call you a sink!
    I said you fucking stink !

  235. 235
    GORDON McBUST says:

    When i said you are all washed up
    i meant…Oh forget it !

  236. 236
    GORDON McBUST says:

    Gordon ! Gordon ! Get that cleaned up !

  237. 237
    Auntie Flo' says:

    “We’ll never live last night down, Gordon. How many times do I have to tell you that when a chef invites you to taste his Cocky Leaky it has NOTHING to do with his willy!”

  238. 238
    Cataloguebride says:

    Gordon you better get to like it in England jock, i’m off home. Alex Salmond may have called for your backing but i ain’t staying in this god forsaken hole. Even the seat is full of fucking holes and there is fuckall left. That minister you employed wasn’t lying when he said the cupboard was bare.

  239. 239
    Anonymous says:

    “Don’t you dear use the down stairs toilet come back and use your commode.”

  240. 240
    jealouswoman says:

    Gordon
    Why did you not go to the house of lords with the other socialists John, Mick, Neil and Glynis. Ed says he will pay millionaires family allowance you know. We could buy bacon and egg for breakfast instead of this foreign shit.

  241. 241
    wiseman says:

    It’s no good Darling. I have to go to bed, the stab marks of the knives in my back are hurting. If the shithouse comrades ring to ask how i am tell them to fuck off.

  242. 242
    Media whore says:

    Sarah: And this is where Tom Bower will be sitting.

  243. 243
    neverthought says:

    If you don’t stop shouting dance muppet dance i am sending you back to the catalogue.
    It wasn’t my fault that all the comrades shafted me.

  244. 244
    Anonymous says:

    Sarah – Hang on Gordon, come back, look here, you’ve left a bit of a mess
    Gordon – What mess, I can’t see it, I’m fucking blind

  245. 245
    Dolly the Sheep says:

    LOL!

  246. 246
    Major Bonkers says:

    The photo-shoot over, John and James were carefully put back in their drawer.

  247. 247
    Anonymous says:

    Come back and pull my Finger bitch.

  248. 248
    Major Bonkers says:

    Sarah: “Look, Tony’s sent you a postcard!”

  249. 249
    Alan Douglas says:

    “… and clean up that brown substance NOW !”

    Alan Douglas

  250. 250
    Anonymous says:

    Brown declines unsuitable kitchen cabinet position.

  251. 251
    Ear to the Ground says:

    That’s another mess for Cameron to clean up!

  252. 252
    HappySlayer says:

    Sarah : “Sit down and write something funny! If you couldn’t win the election, you might at least win a book about it !”

  253. 253
    Disaffected says:

    You sit here and explain to me why Jacqui Smith got a better kitchen than me through the Fees Office! Blair got three fcking houses! Come back you gutless turd!!

  254. 254
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Voice from outside the door…”Taxi for Broon?”

    Sarah – “Thank fuck for that”

  255. 255
    Yvonne says:

    Don’t go poopy on chair go poopy in splash splash.

  256. 256
    Domestic Bliss says:

    Sarah the carer:

    ‘And just where the fuck do you think you’re going? Get your sorry arse back here – now!’

    Rainman:

    ‘I was just going to go up to my bedroom and write a couple of chapters for my new book.’

    Sarah the carer:

    ‘Not the stupid book again. All I hear about is that bloody book, day and night, night and day. Christ, sometimes I wish I was fucking dead. Listen, if you don’t shut the fuck up about that bloody book, I swear I’ll shove this jar of jam up your arse. Do you hear me?’

  257. 257
    Anonymous says:

    There appears to be a deficit of Gordon on this chair.

  258. 258
    duped says:

    When you told me you had piles i thought you meant piles of cash like the other labour cabinet members.

  259. 259
    Major Bonkers says:

    “…It’s from the Gaza Strip. ‘Wish you were here’. Hmmm.”

  260. 260
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Sorry, Sarah, I must rush – I I have to do a big jobby. Keep my bedtime milk warm.

  261. 261
    Get back to work Gordon you lazy fuck says:

    Gordon! Your butt plug has fallen out.

  262. 262
    George says:

    SB: “Gordon…I love you.”

    GB: [pause] “Thanks.”


Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood


Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


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