As William Hague is trailed by photographers and the news channels every time he moves around the conference centre, with Ffion glued to his side, an old hand informs Guido that Hague has a history of hotel bedroom trouble…

Aged seventeen at a Young Conservatives conference in Scarborough, young Billy returned from the bar to find his room at The Grand Hotel stripped of all furniture and belongings. With only the carpet left he had little choice other than to curl up and sleep on the floor. You wouldn’t get that at the Hotel du Vin. But who was the prankster who had slipped the hotel porter a few quid for the key? Step forward Eric Pickles…

UPDATE : A co-conspirator writes to correct the location : “That was in 1978 at Harrogate. The snow had been falling steadily from early Friday. So when a crowd of North West YCs came out of their hotel (next door to the Yorskhire area Hotel) there was wunderkind, so what we did we do? We pelted him with snowballs.”