Guido is off to tonight’s launch of New Direction, a new free market think-tank seeking to modernise the structures of the EU. He will be avoiding Gerald Howarth for obvious reason, and will hopefully get to ask the keynote speaker Liam Fox how he managed to leak that letter.

Though the star of the show will no doubt be Maggie…

Nadine Dorries is trending on Twitter after she attacked benefit claimants who Twitter all day. “Ms Humphrey Cushion“, one of her constituents, has tweeted nearly 35,000 times in the last six months, often about nights out and her life of unemployed bliss.

She claims that she has chronic arthritis but it clearly isn’t affecting her thumbs. If she can operate Twitter there are plenty of jobs she could be doing on a computer. Alarm bells should be ringing at the Department of Work and Pensions.

Could this be this era’s “on yer bike” soundbite. @HumphreyCushion, get off twitter and get a job…

The fun continues with Labour even after their conference. 49 contenders are pitching to be in the Shadow Cabinet and the good news for those who enjoy watching the Labour Party in chaos is under their archaic rules the fun and games of electing them has to happen every year. Paul Waugh believes that Yvette Cooper, who is likely to come very near the top of the ballot, will be turning down the offer of Shadow Chancellor to save Ed Balls face. She clearly isn’t as ruthless and cold as her leader.

There are some truly laughable candidates but some with high chances deserve more scrutiny. Sadiq Khan gave a Red Ed-lite conference speech yesterday and is clearly vying for a high office shadow. Guido explained why this expenses fiddling and controversial figure might find it tough working in the Home Office or Foreign Office and there will be more on this as his prominence grows. Alan Johnson is apparently in the running to Shadow Hague too, and who knows, perhaps such a role might lead journalists to finally reveal that story he did so well to keep out the  papers while in the Home Office. Balls for shadow business would be an embarrassment after such high profile lobbying for a decent job. Though Guido would enjoy watching him and Cable try destroy each other…

Pop Quiz: A prize for whoever can identify the runners and riders pictured.

Yesterday’s man and old time bruiser Nick Brown may be facing the rest of his career on the backbenchers, but that doesn’t mean he won’t still have a finger in the pie. His Special Advisor Gary Follis, former spinner for Alliance and Leicester and Amicus, is ultra-loyal and was the fixer’s fixer right up until the election. Out of government, Brown had to share his SpAd, and he’s been on loan to the Shadow Leader of the House – Rosie Winterton. It seems Follis will keep his job under the new Chief Whip and Brown’s old way of doing things looks set to continue…

As Labour’s conference comes to an end, and after six days of staring they can confirm it is indeed a navel, the new leader is faced with yet another dilemma. In 2003 the singing of the Red Flag was reinstated at the close of conference. All together now…

Given Red Ed’s desperation to lose the nickname that is so clearly getting under his skin, does he really want footage of him mumbling the socialist anthem forever stored in media archives. The words won’t do his image any favours:

The people’s flag is deepest red,
It shrouded oft our martyred dead,
And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold,
Their hearts blood dyed its every fold.

Then raise the scarlet standard high
Within its shade we’ll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

Gordon sang it with pride, Tony more reluctantly. Over to you Red Ed…

The metal plaque commemorating the opening of Lehman’s Canary Wharf offices by Gordon Brown in April 2004 was up for auction yesterday at Christies. Sadly Guido’s £1,000 bid was not enough for this, tangible evidence, that the accursed Gordon Brown caused the global financial collapse which began with the fall of Lehmans.

The plaque went, as you would expect with anything associated with the accursed Gordon Brown, way over budget. The auctioneer’s gavel came down at £28,750…