September 27th, 2010

Third Time Unlucky For Hancock

Weirdy-beardy LibDem MP and coalition critic Mike Hancock has never been far from controversy involving his sex life, and this weekend was no different. Hancock has done well in recent months to keep certain stories about him out of the media.  Carmen the busty señorita he wined, dined and even gave a personal tour of the House of Commons never surfaced and Hancock’s re-election campaign in Portsmouth was blighted with much darker allegations that were injuncted. However this time there was nothing Hancock could do to stop being splashed across the Sunday papers again – mainly because he admitted the allegations put to him.

Hancock has not denied he pestered a mentally ill constituent who came to him for help. He dined with her in the House, bought her a teddy bear and other gifts and pestered her with “sexy” text messages. He claims her was just trying to “cheer her up” but the woman’s carers have reported him to the police, who are now investigating. Given his track record it’s unlikely Hancock’s long suffering wife will buy that line…

On the back of the scandal that he had employed a researcher who has links to the KGB, the knives are sharpening around Hancock. Guido spoke to a senior council source down in Porstmouth who is fuming about the lastest embarrassment Hancock has caused:

“The pressure is mounting on Hancock. There have been many rumours about him swirling around Portsmouth and Westminster for years, but this latest news is particularly worrying. It is not acceptable for him to remain in a Cabinet role on Portsmouth City Council – where he has influence over policy regarding care for the vulnerable – at a time when the police are investigating him for allegedly abusing a vulnerable constituent. Whether he should remain an MP is a matter for the Liberal Democrats, and his conscience.”

Looks like Hancock might be waiting a little longer for his long-coveted title Lord Hancock of Fratton…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    At least he is in the right party


    • 14
      The political class can kiss my arse says:

      Hear hear. He looks like a fucking eco-fundamentalist terrorist too.

      I bet the wanker wears sandals and white socks.



      • 90
        Ordinary person says:

        He sounds like a sociopath to me, tho I expect inside politics he appears totally unremarkable.


        • 168
          Anonymous says:

          He looks like that loony Lord Bath at Longleat.


          • Mike Hunt says:

            without alas his Wifelets.


          • Portsmouth resident says:

            “His wife of 43 years, Jacqueline, a fellow Portsmouth councillor, was clearly angered by the allegations.”

            You bet she is. The troughing couple are facing a possible reduction in their crazy allowances.

            “He will of course co-operate with the police if they ever contact him.”

            Oh, so it’s only the small people who don’t have a choice whether to cooperate or not is it?

            They can both go to hell.


          • The great and the good says:

            Read Baths online book, what a fucking perv, into pissing on his nanny.


    • 15
      Gideon Osboobery says:

      The BrokeBack Coalition welcomes all deviants.


      • 28
        Hague, SpAd bummerist & homosexualist arse bandit says:

        Ooh ducky! You know it!


      • 137
        Better Dead than Red Ed says:

        Except Marxists like me – you have to draw the line somewhere.


        • 152
          Comrade Cable says:

          You’re just not Marxist enough chum.

          Smash the system! Anti-Capitalism all round!


          • Disaffected says:

            Clegg only claimed last week he was sorting out people like him. cameron keeps saying he will clean up politics as well- all talk no action. Corrupt fkers the lot of them. Mandelson smiles as he collects his £8,600 a month for an EU job he left two years ago! Yet the coalition have the bare faced cheek to say taxes will increase and the BBC is an instituton to be proud of. No more taxes, no more license fee (tax), no tuition fees (while EU students get free university education in Scotland) and more MPs to face prosecution, including the smiling Blair for his war crimes (someone must have a copy of his expenses or know what he fiddled/was given for his second house claims).


    • 24
      shaken not stirred says:

      Why is he wearing a martini?


    • 66
      Taxpayers' money says:


      • 78
        CCHQ says:

        Phew!! thanks goodness it wasn’t Matt Hancock. Osborne’s former Spad.
        William, make sure George has been discrete.
        There’s nothing to find there tabloids so dont look!


      • 81
        Curious of Gillingham says:

        What’s all that about then?


      • 242
        Cassandrina says:

        CBE? He either pretended to phone the polis or they know him for the wrapbag he is and ignored his message.
        Clegg need to get rid of the low hanging fruit otherwise he will be in one embarrassment after another.
        Should’nt take long with their number of MP’s and “celebrities”


    • 130
      Info says:

      Check out his connections with MIND


    • 247
      Susie says:

      Hankcock’s Half Whore?


  2. 2
    NuAttack Dog says:

    Deviants to a man


  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    If Gulity then hang him , If not guilty then he should carry on


  4. 4
    Potkettle says:

    The carers said it wasnt the teddy bear or the texts it was the naked Morris Dancing that they reported him for


  5. 5

    I mean he doesn’t look like a sexual predator. Oh, no, no, no. Not at all.


  6. 6

    Have Hancock and Benny Andersson of Abba ever been seen in the same room together:



  7. 7
    Phil says:

    I never realised Del Trotter had a career in politics.
    I’d put his peccadilloes down to drinking too much peckham spring water.


  8. 8
    Captain Black says:

    Best joke about Portsmouth was Paul Merton’s:

    You can’t sack the Navy otherwise the streets of Portsmouth would be awash with discharged Seamen.

    Sounds like Hancock’s got his own ideas on the topic…


    • 88
      Backwoodsman says:

      Any relevance to the fact that the ‘researcher ‘ is KGB & Pompey is, as reported, awash with discharged seamen , a fair few with technically classified knowledge ?


    • 146
      BluRay says:

      From the best of Hancock’s Half Hour.

      “A millilitre? That’s very nearly a cock full”


  9. 9
    Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifs says:

    I mean he doesn’t look like a sexual predator. Oh, no, no, no. Not at all.



  10. 11
    Anonymous says:

    it’s so much easier to attack the good people isn’t it


  11. 12
    No 2 AV says:



  12. 13
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    A history of sexual harassment has never been a barrier to ennoblement – look at that fat fuck Prescott for starters.


  13. 16
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    So, that’s near enough a sex scandal per month since the coalition was formed – Laws, Huhne, Hague and Hancock. Cast iron told us to vote for change and that’s what we’re getting.


  14. 17
    Mike Hunt says:

    Don’t forget his ‘residence’ in Portsmouth is a rented garage – he actually lives in Fareham BC and has the garage so he can con his way onto the council.

    I used to have a friend as a LibDem activist and they were all warned about his letching.


  15. 20
    Dis-Unite says:

    Whelan is on TV crowing!


  16. 21
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    A woman with mental illness ?

    Wasnt Sarah Brown was it , I mean living with Gordon ………….


  17. 22

    “It’s red hot, mate. I hate to think of this sort of thing getting in the wrong hands. As soon as I’ve finished this, I shall recommend they ban it.”



    • 170
      Damn... wrong Hancock says:

      “A Pint? Have you gone raving mad? Why, a pint is very nearly an armful!
      I’m sorry but I’m not walking about with an empty arm for anybody”


  18. 25
    Deep Who says:

    Or the England cricket team


  19. 31
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido , this is a set up by Mossad .


  20. 32
    Ben E Hill says:

    Look, we’ve all had secret fantasies about getting a retard in the sack and getting them to do weird shit telling them it’s normal. I know I have – lots. But only a few lucky fuckers get to do it. Good man.


  21. 33
    Werdna Retral says:

    I thought all Lib Dems were poofs


    • 54
      Polly Twaddle (still in Tuscany, working from home) says:

      I’d say 50/50. The dirty fuckers and the Cons were made for each other.


    • 67
      nonce watch says:

      They are, only this one has several beards, some of them nutcases.


    • 69
      Magnus Magnusson says:

      Tories – homo males and nympho females, Lib dems – mixture of homos and creepy sandal wearing celibates, Labour – pederasts and dykes.


  22. 34

    Does anyone know how mentally ill this woman is? She could have anything from depression to a desperate need to chew her own shoulder – obviously ‘sexting’ a depressive is fine, but sending dirty texts to someone who dribbles more than they drink will be seen as ‘very fucking wrong’.


  23. 38
    Sir William Waad says:

    This mentally ill woman wasn’t Margaret Moran by any chance?


  24. 39
    Engineer says:

    ” Carmen the busty señorita he wined, dined and even gave a personal tour of the House of Commons never surfaced ”

    Surely the drowning of vistors to the HoC, even by MPs, is frowned upon?


    • 59
      Sir William Waad says:

      Perhaps Guido means that she operated the the drill, the digger, the grader and the striper but never the surfacing machine.


  25. 42
  26. 43
    Thunderbox says:

    About time this piece of slime got his dues. What on earth does his wife seein him other than his pension?


  27. 44
    Jed says:

    This Hancock fellah sounds like a nonce.

    I hope the bizzies are investigating or do these pervs have Parliamentary immunity when they’re sexually abusing their constituents?


  28. 49
    They Do Like It Up 'Em says:

    Bet he doesn’t fall on his own pork sword.


  29. 52
    Mike Hancock says:

    Why is this not tagged totty watch ?


  30. 56

    I thought it was compulsory for LibDems to be sex offenders!


  31. 61
    lmao says:

    If Red Ed Miliband is the best that the Frankfurt School can come up with then we’ve not got too much to worry about.


  32. 62
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    Has he ever been introduced to Hollie Greig?


    • 103
      jgm2 says:

      That’s a Scottish cover-up – it’s a devolved issue. Like releasing Magrahi or whatever the fitted-up Lockerbie bomber is called.

      I say we employ more Libyan cancer care specialists.


  33. 64
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Wonder if this will be swept under the carpet ?


  34. 70
    Penfold says:

    Book ‘im Dano!


  35. 71
    Jon says:

    Has Red Ed Milband ever had a job outside politics or is he a professional political geek like his yellow-bellied brother?


  36. 73
    Anonymous says:

    How many beаrds does this man need?


  37. 76
    The White Eared Elephant says:

    Oppose the Condems and this is what happens.


  38. 77
    The Perfect Storm says:


    Weired MP, LibDem & dog shit city.

    Not a hope in Hell.


  39. 79
    Potkettle says:

    1239: BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg tweets: “David Miliband just left the conference by the back door without saying anything.” Read Laura Kuenssberg’s tweets
    1236: From Nick Robinson: “Pursued by a vast rolling pack of cameras and reporters, David Miliband refused to answer questions about his future. As he fought to get through, it was perhaps unwise to keep saying: ‘Come on guys, I’m on the way out.'”

    OK which one of them is lieing


  40. 80
    Jimmy says:

    They’ve been in coalition four months and they’re behaving like tories already.


  41. 89
    • 194
      Potkettle says:

      I didnt realise Khan was on Ed’s team.
      Had I known I would have put my shilling on Ed at the begining.
      Khan has a track record of stuffed postal ballots and vote rigging


  42. 90
    Anonymous says:

    There’s more that one dodgy councillor in the world, of course. Parties need to self-regulate rather than turn a blind eye.


    • 133
      The political class can kiss my arse says:

      Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha.

      Politicians self regulate? That worked so well with the expenses scandal didn’t it.

      The only thing ‘self’ they should be left to do is a good session of autoerotic asphyxiation. They might even do the decent thing and really get their tights in a tight twist around their scrawny necks.

      Fuck em!


  43. 92
    Andy says:

    Has Ed Miliband just come back from a foreign holiday? He looks very dark, swarthy even. Perhaps he’s got some gypsy blood in him?


  44. 95
    Dave says:

    That Mike Hancock looks like a right slimy nonce. Which cretins voted for a shifty sleazebag like that?


  45. 100
    Knock me down with a feather says:

    So this MP sits on various defence and security committees, is pro Russian and has a Russian researcher with links to the KGB?

    You could not make this up.


  46. 105
    Anonymous says:

    He could teach some of the conservative MPs how to bat on the right side as the conservative MPs are all over the place, some aren’t even sure which side they are on.


  47. 106
    why i voted Tory says:

    Taleb – The only politician who seemed to understand The Black Swan is David Cameron. He was convinced that there is great hidden risk in the economy in a world that has
    become much more complex in the past 25 years. He understood that government
    deficit makes you more reliant on forecasting, at the same time that our reliance on
    forecasting has proved disastrous. (Guardian)


    • 162
      Bold Vision = 20/20 hindsight says:

      That must be why he was warning everyone about the Banks.

      After it happened.


      • 182
        jgm2 says:

        Sadly Cameron cannot even be credited with warning everybody about the lunacy of the Maximum Imbeciles insane borrowing and spending. Quite the opposite. Just as the wheels were coming off the dumb c*nt agreed to match Br*wn’s squandering projections.

        It’s a fucking tragedy.


  48. 108
    And Paid for by the Taxpayer says:

    After inviting her for dinner at the House of Commons, the woman claims Mr Hancock ran his hand through her hair before asking: ‘Would you be happy with a man like me?’
    But she replied that she did not want to be with a married man. The MP is said to have continued to lavish the woman with gifts and by April was ringing and texting her on a regular basis. The messages included Mr Hancock asking her to ‘give me a chance, you never know my princess’.


  49. 109
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    A not so Limp Dem?


  50. 112
    Tom FD says:

    A prime candidate for the Lib Dems’ (and Tories’) favoured MP recall…


  51. 114
    HappyUK says:

    Talking of weirdy-beardies, a number of dedicated geeks (bless ‘em) continue in their sterling efforts to make head and tail of the code and data that was churned out by those unlovable rogues at CRU, unsuccessfully:

    “Love the ironic title. Got this from reader, Glenn. I’m out of my depth trying to read the code–and apparently so were several folks at CRU. If what he, and the techies at the links, say is true, it’s no wonder they had to spin this for 10 years–it’s all absolute bullshit.”


    • 258
      C Monster says:

      I was wondering why a year-old post, the most popular ever on my tiny blog, was getting traffic. Thanks.
      One comment wrote what is still one of my favorite lines, “I’ve seen tighter routines in virus source code.”


  52. 115
    He found his perfect bird a nutter just like him says:

    Only the mentally ill can understand Liberal Democrat gibberish and waffling anyway.


  53. 117
    Yellow on Yellow says:

    So, Nicks’ new law will be 1st tested on one of hs own.


  54. 120
    All Lib Dems are tossers says:

    I stand by my ‘blogger’s name, which I’ve used for quite some time. Now will you believe me?


  55. 127
    Putin says:

    Fawkes. Stop calling us the KGB. Its FSO now.


  56. 136
    No 2 AV says:

    His next job will be as a Santa in his Grotty Grotto eyeing up the kiddies and their mums.


  57. 148
    Red Ed does not want liberal deviants says:

    There are rumours that he is planning to defect to labour. Something tells me that that door is now firmly shut.


  58. 153

    The boy Cooper is advocating spending billions on new schools and hospitals to bring borrowing down!


    • 166
      jgm2 says:

      They’ve had 13 years and 800bn quid of additional borrowing to replace every single hospital and school in the country with a fucking solid gold one.

      Thirteen years. And they still haven’t replaced all the leaky roofs. They really are fucking sh1t aren’t they.


      • 172

        jgm, you should know by now that Labour failed to fix the roof whilst the sun was shining!!


        • 179
          jgm2 says:

          And any roofs they did fix were in insanely expensive off-the-balance sheet PFI deals. Deals put together by RBS and HBOS amongst others. Which is why the Maximum imbecile was more than happy to watch the borrowing insanity spiral out of control as long as they were putting together financing deals for his Enron construction.

          SO that 800bn quid overspend was actually just borrowing to pay public sector wages.

          ‘I will not borrow for day-to-day expenses’. Fucking liar.


      • 181
        the beast of clerkenwell says:

        Problem is that we now live in East Gernany
        Shame that we don’t have a wall to drop on socialists and homosexuals


      • 203
        AC1 says:

        It did make houses less affordable which is almost the same as real economic growth!


        • 219
          jgm2 says:

          Yep 800bn quid put into the hands of one million extra bedwetters, boxtickers and bastards to bid up the price of available ho*sing.

          It’s an economic miracle Jim. But not as we know it.


    • 199
      Anonymous says:

      Thats because she has no concept of cash flow. When her household budget runs out she just makes another second home allowance claim and everything is rosy again


    • 211
      Red Dave says:

      Remind me who was pledged to match labour spending until Brown and the Bankers caved in the economy ?


  59. 171
    Dodgy geezer says:

    So what were these darker allegations? Were they just pure noncesense?


    • 175
      jgm2 says:

      Good question. I didn’t think our host was usually shy about injunctions and that kind of nonsense.


      • 196
        According to some morons its the nationality not the Politics which matter says:

        Hey jgm2 now that the Labour Party have elected a new Leader who is English I take it that makes everything ok now and they are now fit for government again ?
        Lots of English talent now available, Wheelan , simpson etc etc


        • 218
          jgm2 says:

          You’re quite right. It’s the politics we should be chiefly concerned about. It’s just sloppy to go off on one calling, say, The Maximum Imbecile, a Scottish arsehole. He is. But he’s not responsible for being Scottish. That’s just an accident of birth. That’s neither here nor there. He, however, chooses to be an arsehole and we must continually point this out.

          Yes. He is a Scottish arsehole. But it is far more germane to us and the economic clusterfuck he has bequeathed us all that he is a fucking incompetent lunatic.

          I like to think that my contempt for the Little Scotlander mentality has been kept separate from my contempt for the Maximum Imbecile and his economically destructive ways.

          Likewise my nascent contempt for the Miliband of brothers will not lean heavily on the fact that they are the product of Marxist indoctrination but will focus on the fact that they’re a pair of c**nts who sat through the last Labour government and cheered every idiot decision to the echo.


          • Anonymous says:

            Smooth talking John McFall on back foot after Konisberg hits him unexpectedly with news that the IMF have given the coalitions strategy for deficit reduction a thumbs up !


  60. 174
    get him says:

    That Janner needs doing on here.


  61. 178
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    He’s got that same pompus look Harold Shipman had. I bet he’s a right fucking nusence to have around, always wanting something.


  62. 185
    Medical update on Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man says:

    Hi. I’m one of the carers looking after the poster Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man. We understand that last night was a particularly rough one for him and he ended up writing a barrage of angry messages in block capitals. We only know this because he soiled his underwear and threw several phones, emulating his hero. I can now report that he’s been sectioned for his own good and won’t be allowed access to a computer again.

    It was a messy business when he was sectioned though. He screamed at the police officers and just kept saying “Fuck off tat. Waaaah, don’t you dare make fun of my Dave, I wuv him” and proceeded to call out the addresses of links to several Youtube videos. Poor chap. The officers had a good laugh though.


    • 217
      Tat went running and crying to Guido to ban anyone who was taking the piss out of him BTW says:

      Where’s the blog TaT ?

      You’re the one who had the breakdown and ran away from the site vowing never to return

      and then you came back

      and then you ran away again

      and then you came back under the moniker concrete pump and even argue with yourself under different monikers because you are a SCHIZO DRUGGY NUTTER

      then you had yet another mental breakdown and threatened to shut down Guido’s site with your crack team of hackers and law yers because you went completely paranoid thought THEY were after you on this site

      now you just whine all day fucking long about anything posted against Dave or whine about youtubes WHILE you post youtubes

      so go fuck yourself tat
      why not carry out your continual threat of leaving for good instead of lying all the time

      or start your legendary dog raping blog ?

      you chickenshit little whiny cun’t


    • 220
      tat has the self respect of a worm says:

      Boo hoo hoo hooo !! Boo hoo hoo hooo !! Boo hoo hoo hooo !!

      save me gwido! save me gwido! save me gwido! pweeeeaaase!!!

      ban the nasty posters who iz making me cwyyyy!!!!!!

      Boo hoo hoo hooo !! Boo hoo hoo hooo !! Boo hoo hoo hooo !!


  63. 191
    Steve Miliband says:

    Anyone know how much the Lehman Brothers/Gordon Brown plaque sold for?


  64. 192
    Nuts 2 U says:

    So his wife says it is just nutters making up claims. whoops!


  65. 200
    Where's Brown? says:

    Will Sarah Beard make an appearance at the conference this week or did the conditions of her contract specify she only need attend whilst McDoom is still leader?


    • 204
      Steve Miliband says:

      That was a disaster. Should never have put me with that woman. Whose idea was that?

      Aide: I don’t know, I didn’t see.

      Brown: Sue’s, I think. Just ridiculous.

      Aide: Not sure if they’ll go with that one.

      Brown: Oh they will.

      Aide: What did she say?

      Brown: Everything. She’s just this sort of lesbian woman who said she used to be a Labour voter. Ridiculous.


    • 225
      SamCam says:

      Clare’s minge is tasty today.


  66. 202
    Where's Brown? says:

    Will Magda make an appearance at the conference this week or did the conditions of her arrangement specify she only need attend whilst McDoom is still leader?


    • 216
      Anonymous says:

      She has fulfiled her role as Gordons Human shield behind whos skirts he was often found hidding. She is of course welcome to attend but I beleive she may have a previously arranged engagement in Canterbury.


  67. 208
    Anonymous says:

    Nice picture; his hands, goes it shows the size of his balls or penis?


    • 227
      jgm2 says:

      That fucking Icke will no doubt be giving it the Dan Br*wn/Da Vinci code interpretation that it’s the sign of the ‘chalice’ and therefore he’s a 66th Dan Fr*emas*n and therefore untouchable or somesuch sh1t.


  68. 210
    Albi Here says:

    OT, Liam f*ckin Byrne the coffers empty,speaking it’s like the last 13 years were full of goodness and light and money was spent was “invested” and Liebour saved the banks and the country was saved from going under and La La land is a great place to live and the Libs and the NuConned us are nasty b$stards cutting money from the poor,jesus h f*ckin wept.


  69. 212
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    He looks like a childrens “entertainer”, probaby keeps balloons and lollipops in the boot of his brightly coloured car

    written down the side
    Does a lot of charity work for funny farms


  70. 213
    Interestinggggggg says:

    So I just read Greyville Janner is a nonce as well even if it came from dubious sources.


  71. 214
    Garry Glitter says:

    You could’nt make this shit up! How sick are this LiB-Dem freaks!


  72. 223
    TaT the twat wearing a tin foil hat says:

    THEY are coming to get me!!!!

    I will threaten to shut down Guido’s blog with my crack team of Lawyers and Hackers!! If THEY don’t stop.

    9.11 was an inside job and David Icke told me the lizardpeople are coming to get me!!! whooooooop! whoooop! whoooooooop!


  73. 224
    Mistaken Identity says:

    That’s not Hancock in the photo. He looks nothing like Will Smith.


  74. 231
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    This weekens I was doubting my faith, then found out that Milliiband Minor was also sterile
    Thanks God for clearing out that DNA cess pool


  75. 246
    Strathclyde police says:

    Mr Handoncock is helping us with our enquiries being considered as ancommunity outreach officer
    We seem to have a shortage of people who will give “foot massages” to the mentaly ill
    A firearm certificate will be awarded to the succesfull appllicant along with a 50K boat for the token sum of 5 pence
    A love of boys in short trooosers or a desire to shag anybody with a disability will be considered as a positive


  76. 249
    Ian Brady says:

    This is why I am a Labour man
    These libdems are always eating shjt and buggering each other


  77. 256
    roger james says:

    I’ve met the man. He is a pervert, crook and professional busybody politician. It’s about time he gets what’s coming to him.


  78. 260
  79. 262
    Anonymous says:

    How sad all these people are, if you do not know someone then what right have you got to judge by heresay and photos. Nothing better to do folks?


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