September 21st, 2010

Bigger Brother Twists Arms

Labour Uncut claims that “This Saturday, David Miliband will be elected. It will not mean that we are on the path back to power. Nor that we have fully come to terms with our election defeat. But we will have a new leader.” Well at least half of that is true, but that hasn’t stopped David’s campaign team putting a bit of stick about amongst the 2010 intake of MPs to secure their support in the non-secret ballot.

Guido hears that the David’s henchman have told the newbies “We are going to be back in power in 2015, so this decision is about whether you want a ministerial job or not.”

The campaign is clearly brimming with confidence…


  1. 1

    “back in power in 2015..”

    With henchpeople as deluded as this surrounding Bananaboy one has to wonder whether one of the Eds is in with a chance after all.


  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    It’s not just the 2010 intake


  3. 3
    Ed Miliband's Press Officer says:

    This is bollocks…..

    Ed Miliband will be elected, there must have been a typo


    • 9
      Engineer says:

      It will probably come down to which of them has the biggest team of postal-vote stuffers-in-envelopes, and the fastest printing press for voting forms.


  4. 4
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Well at least our doubts are settled. Extra-shiny new Labour with added listening power is still at heart the redundant Stalinist model it’s been since 1945.


    • 7
      Anonymous says:

      If my kids don’t listen after 5 minutes they know about it.

      Why should our elected government be given 13 years and still not be able to listen?


  5. 10
    Anonymous says:

    The way thing are going labour will be in power with a huge majority even without learning what the mistakes they made; it is frighting.

    I do support conservative cuts, there are a lot of waste in government but it should be done in a manner public understands. Also British people should be given jobs but this government hasn’t controlled immigration, caps reduce total immigration by 1.5% it is not enough, zero immigration and not extending visas for even two years will reduce unemployment by a million and help this government in terms of vote.


  6. 11
    Martin Day says:

    And now for something completely differerent

    Prime Minister Gordon Brown Address to Congress British Prime Minister Brown addressed a joint meeting of Congress.


  7. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Threaten and lean on people is what they do best.


  8. 15
    Blessed be the Banker for they shall inherit the earth says:

    “half is that is true” er of.


  9. 16
    Unsworth says:

    How many ‘Ministers’ are they proposing, then? Given the previous shambles no one in their right minds would wish to be a Labour Minister, anyway.

    They’d spend their (mercifully short) Ministerial lives permanently having to fend off slurs and ‘briefings’ from Downing Street, terrorised by various Spads, the Press crawling over them, the resident despotic lunatic in Number 10 constantly on their backs, no freedom of action or thought, having to fuck ugly women (or men), being ‘pleasant’ to the likes of Prescott, Mandelson, Brown, etc etc.

    The only recompense? Money.

    Frankly it’s not enough.


  10. 17
    Lord Presclot of Green Ginger says:

    Did ‘is man not tell ‘im that if ‘e dun’t keep yon gob shut ‘e’ll like as not catch pies?


  11. 19
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Sir, there is no settling the point of precedency between a louse and a flea”.


  12. 28
  13. 31
    Steve Miliband says:

    Will all it all be live on the BBC?
    It is all sooooooooo dull.
    Why oh why is this stupid leadership election given wall to wall coverage.

    Why can’t they just leaflet their dumb members and then ask them to vote for whichever twat they want, without inflicting it on everyone else. Like we give a shit.


  14. 32
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Guido … you need to some animation on the eyes.

    Perhaps little red dots that go round and round. Or cookie monster eyes.


  15. 34
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Odious little man surrounded by odious sycophants – like the other 4 candidates, totally unelectable in 2015.


    • 73
      Death warmed up says:

      Has anyone in the Labour Party thought to ask what Ed and Dave Miliband will look like in 2015?

      They both look haggard, drained, old-before-their-time, myocardial-infarction candidates today. In 5 years’ time, they’ll probably look like desiccated husks.


  16. 37
    Steve Miliband says:

    The inside story of life in Brown’s Downing Street

    Why didn’t someone have the backbone to stand up to him?


    • 79
      Former Labour voter says:

      Because no one in the Labour Party has any backbone. They’re just a bunch of fucking sixth-formers who never ever grew up. Too busy trying to hammer workers with tax, and spray workers’ money all over the feckless parasite class to have any interest in getting rid of their maniacal leader.


    • 104
      AC1 says:

      We knew it, the Lobby knew it.
      Why didn’t they report it?
      If you’re rup3rt murd0ch and wondering why “news” papers are dying maybe they should report what they know?


    • 112
      South of the M4 says:

      “He developed a sense that the Treasury were a conspiracy, that they were constantly plotting to undermine the economic stimulus, the fightback, what we were doing to save businesses and jobs and people’s homes.”

      …… of course he felt that. This is how it was when he was in command of the treasury. The man remains a threat to this country. Totally and utterly evil and incompetent. And his continuing presence can only harm the would-be-labour leaders.


  17. 39

    Help! The Saucy Sue has been holed beneath the water line. If it sinks any faster we will all be refugees…

    On a different note, does anyone know I can find a decent Wobble-om-mitrest? I have an urgent need.. ..which I think only they can satisfy.


  18. 40
    I hate New Labour says:

    Do they think people have forgotten the last 13 disastrous years?

    Every government announcement regarding cuts should be preceded with a picture of Blair/Brown and an explanation as to *why* these cuts are needed. Something the idiot Labour party have conveniently airbrushed from history already.


    • 60
      George W. Bush says:

      Remember me ?
      Neither does the U.S. electorate.


    • 94
      get the boot in says:

      If the dopey Tories let them get away with it, that’s their problem.


    • 109
      Hiram Holiday says:

      People might well prefer to have Brown back when they have had a few more years of being branded ‘benefit cheats’ for avoiding taxes – by a government that includes a number of people who extorted personal fortunes from a deliberately vague expenses and allowances ‘system’.

      It made my blood boil to see that ginger turd burglar Alexander making his self righteous and hypocritical speech yesterday.

      I am still for the piano wire and lamp posts solution!


  19. 45
    Mr Ned says:

    If D. Miliband wins the leadership, do you really think Britain will vote for a party led by a man who confessed to be far less capable than Brown? A man whose own personal courage was even less than Browns and who on numerous occasions had the opportunity to act decisively to end Brown’s disastrous tenure in number 10, but then failed through fear and insecurity and rank cowardice.

    A man who clearly believed that Brown was wrong, but who lied to the public and gave a man who he felt was wrong, continuous support.


    • 56
      pick a Blair, any Blair says:

      You really think Britain will vote for another Blair clone ?
      Like the one leading the Conservatives and the one leading the Lib Dems ?


      • 87
        EU puppet Slavey Davey says:

        I am not Blair, I am heir-to-Blair.

        There’s a big difference, you know.


      • 90
        I hate New Labour says:

        To be fair, the choice was Blair Clone or Brown.

        Frankly, I think most right-minded people just wanted rid of the mad, fat Scottish cyclops. Cameron got lucky.


        • 93
          new Balls please says:

          like the choice between Balls and Milibland
          hows that working out for Balls ?


          • Adolph says:

            Who would you rather be stranded on a desert island with? Or an evening down the pub? Its got to be Ed Balls – he’s the most normal of the five of them. Andy Burnham – too earnest. Diane Abbott – she can’t engage in conversation, only pronouncements and she’d shout “racism” and/or “sexism” if she didn’t get her own way. Ed Miliband – who could live in the company of that hideous mouth, those bulging eyes or the gormless look when he’s not speaking. David Miliband – no principles (he’ll say anything to get elected), physically unattractive, an undiplomatic disaster at the Foreign Office, surrounds himself with members of the jooish community, buys foreign babies.


  20. 55
    Sir William Waad says:

    David Miliband’s photo, above, proves beyond doubt the rumour that he was lost in the Congolese jungle at the age of 2 and brought up by chimps.


  21. 57
    Allan, you at t'bar says:

    2015 ??? That’s presumably the islamic calendar. 7th May 2015 under their system equates to 29 November2576

    Sounds about right.


  22. 58
    Notasheep says:

    Twisting arms and subtext threatening; it’s like having Gordon and Ed back…


  23. 65

    Ed Balls reflects on his campaign and popularity.

    Featuring Lee Evans


  24. 68
    The Watcher says:

    Is it just my impression but does Millipede not look uncannily like an Ape?

    Same hair, same mouth………………..


  25. 76
    Penfold says:

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that Marxist clang of intimidation.
    Don’t ya just luv it when you can unpack the chains and thumb screws, and lash out at the scum.
    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, it’s so good when the chavs and plebs know their place.
    The great leaders can relax and think up the next great thing and be progressive.
    David MilliMarxipede will be the next great leader, the minders and thugs have spoken, and they know best.
    OR, perhaps little Red Ed might have a better gang of intimidators and enthusiasts………
    Then again, little, slim, svelte Di Ab might just beguile them all. Just watch out for them chicken bones and don’t trim your toe nails….!


  26. 80
    Easing your own quantity, or EQ says:

    The deficit is sorted. Print your own money.


    • 91
      Up sh1t creek says:

      If you bartered with people instead of using bits of paper, then who will the tax man squeeze for taxes to pay for the feckless and to justify his own worthless existence?


      • 100
        Jerry Attrick says:

        It’s called the Black Economy


      • 103
        Easing your own quantity, or EQ says:

        how many pigs for a 52 inch flat screen telly?


      • 105
        Con O'Tractor says:

        They’ll bring back the tithe barn, a chain of which I will happily build for the usual fee.


      • 108
        AC1 says:

        Well barter isn’t as efficient as cash and taxing all the eficiency gains out of using cash is a sign the state is fucked into a downward spiral.

        There’s only one thing that can be legitimately taxed and that’s GCMs (Goverment created monopolies) examples of GCMs include patents and Land grants.


    • 124
      White Van Man says:

      Don’t even think about it.


      • 137
        Herr Von Ratty says:

        I once got a mark I cannon colour copier from a car boot, its was the only one that could print currency without altering it. What a monster though it took 8 of us to lift it.


  27. 89
    13eastie says:

    When is the coalition going to cut Labour’s balls off and legislate against its corrupt trade-union funding?

    There is an opportunity to bury Labour once and for all and taking it is, in the long term, more important for the good of the country than almost anything else.


  28. 95
    GrimeLord says:

    How long will it take for the Coalition to look into torture allegations?

    I hope Millibanana is ready for it!!!


  29. 111
    International Snow White Day says:

    hiiiiiiiiiiiiii hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Why do socialists think they can spend the money I make more effectively than I can?

    I would like to employ more people but they take so much tax off me to man the job centres to try and get me to employ people that I cannot afford to


    • 118
      Anonymous says:

      “Why do socialists think they can spend the money I make more effectively than I can?”

      because socialists don’t believe that the money you earned is your money; they believe it belongs to their own voters and nobody else.

      Their attitude is “thanks for making/earning that money for us. now we’ll take it all away from you. can you make some more money again? we’re running a bit low because we pissed it all up the wall last time”

      It’s just their mentality; they don’t believe that it’s your money; they believe it’s theirs.


  30. 114
    Anonymous says:

    “so this decision is about whether you want a ministerial job or not.”

    ah, good to see that the familiar labour blackmailing and bullying approach is still there; it’ll help secure their defeat in 2015 when people know that labour are basically still following Gordon Brown’s policies/approach.

    They can’t win in 2015.

    If they tell the truth and say that they bankrupted the economy and are sorry and won’t do it again then nobody’ll believe them about the second part and people will punish them for the first part.

    If they lie and try to continue with the spend/borrow ideology that bankrupted the country saying that it’ll all work out fine, then people’ll punish them for blindly continuing with policies that they know full well are designed to bankrupt the country.

    Either way they’re fucked, and they’ll only get the extreme-left union members voting for them in 2015 (and might well lose their 2nd party status in the process).

    The only way they’ll ever win again is when all the labour MPs who caused the current mess are gone and replaced with blair-like clones who basically follow coalition policies but dress them up as a bit more “friendly”. That won’t happen for about 15 years.

    History will repeat itself on this front.

    The BBC are always complicit in allowing labour to bankrupt the country without ever reporting on what’s going wrong; that allows labour to stay in power until it’s too late. Then, once the damage is apparent for everyone to see despite the BBC lies, people see behind the BBC lies and learn from it so don’t vote labour again. Then, as the lefty state schools and unis indoctrinate students into believing that labour are lovely and all tories are evil, a new generation with no understanding of the issues vote labour in again.

    It takes about 15 years for the MPs to be replaced and for the new generation of lefties to emerge from school/uni.

    Labour will be back again (sadly), but it’ll be a long time coming.

    In 2025 they’ll be back again, just in time to inherit a booming economy with a perfect private/public ratio where everything’s working perfectly, and turn it to complete shit within 5 years. Then the whole process/loop will start again.

    It’s depressing that most voters who weren’t voting/alive during the damage being done don’t seem to learn from history, and that they don’t understand why extreme left wing spend/borrow policies can never ever work. But, I guess that’s just how the left-wing school/uni system is and it will never change.


    • 158
      Biffo says:

      Good theory but I think you’re forgetting postal votes – as long as the current system of postal voting is allowed Labour can win. They only lost this time round because they under-estimated the non-Labour voters & didn’t stuff enough envelopes.


  31. 115
    MI7 says:

    Wow an MP actualy doing his job :-

    Douglas Carswell Introduces a bill to stop Fractional Reserve Banking

    Someone finaly has the balls to address the elephant in the living room. Will definitely be watching this with interest. My guess is he’ll become a victim of multiple smear campaigns through the Corporate Media and the BBC will totaly ignore such a grand ideal instead favouring the left/right paradigm economic principles of there illuminati overlords.


    • 122
      Easing your own quantity, or EQ says:

      My God twice in one week. first the hatchet job on the MOD and BAE. Now this, and from a Tory too. Whats the angle? They have worked out a new scam. This is too good to be true. But like the poster I watch with interest. Well done that man.


    • 123
      Easing your own quantity, or EQ says:

      Guido sort the modding out mate, its getting bad.
      My God twice in one week. first the hatchet job on the MOD and BAE. Now this, and from a T*ory too. Whats the angle? They have worked out a new scam. This is too good to be true. But like the poster I watch with interest. Well done that man.


    • 125
      Bolshi Bastard says:

      Doug is going to need his back watching, get on it lads


    • 128

      Well I’m reasonably well clued up about the fractional reserve scam, but still had to read that twice to see the simple genius of this plan – and the flaw.

      Allowing depositors to choose whether to join the lending money-go-round or not would indeed reduce the tendency to create credit from thin air, but it isn’t just depositors money that banks lend out – they do a similar money-go-round trick with government bonds as well.

      There’s the elephant in the room – the profligacy of governments will always provide a ready supply of credit to fuel the system, with predictable results. Only sound fiscal policy can reduce the expansion of government d*bt which feeds this Ponzi scheme.

      Good on Carswell for proposing it – he was very sound on the C4 Dispatches programme last night (along with Dannatt and the excellent Lewis Page of the Register).


    • 147
      The Watcher says:

      I hope he does not plan to fly in a light aircraft or helicopter anytime soon – or to Poland for that matter. If the good guys get too close to the fire they’ll top him.


  32. 116
    David Minibanana says:


    • 143
      Woebegone says:

      Very informative.

      The MIllibands are such obvious party apparatchiks. Complete tools of the Labour Party. As is Benn Jnr.

      Tony Benn speaks with conviction but then he’s a complete fucking hypocrite. He won’t allow the public to use the footpath around his nice estate. Typical fucking socialist!


  33. 119
    gildedtumbril says:

    Of course there will be a new leader of the labour party. It will be Daffy Camoron, ably assisted by his lapdog Ruprecht Cleggover.
    Aside from Sarcoma and Balloxsconi is there any leader who has not got a beard? I have been wondering.


  34. 121
    Anonymous says:

    But what happens to these “lickers” when Ed wins?


  35. 135
    Anonymous says:

    That photo of Millimong looks as through Gordon is just about to insert his big clunking cock in his face.


  36. 138
    Chris says:

    Having watched Question Time last week, my overall thought was what a 3rd rate set of candidates. If I were David Cameron, I would be grinning constantly whoever wins the Labour leadership election. New Labour’s problems are only just starting if this is the best the party has.


    • 140
      Woebegone says:

      Too right.

      Michael Foot looks looks like a convincing winner compared to that lot – and he’s been dead six months.


  37. 139
    the old Dufflebag says:

    listening to david miliband this morning on the box clearly hes developed a new syntax of conversation when talking about his thoughts for the future but ‘a la blair’ this is very simplistic stuff bereft of any real content and clearly aimed at what he believes to be his core audience of traditional socialists. the public face of new labour mark 3 will be ‘ignore past performance’….. ‘rubbish the coalition cuts’…’vote for a better future with us’…all vacuous air brushing.


  38. 145
    The Velvet Nuclear Attack says:

    shurely not????????????????????????????????????????????

    Foreign Secretary, David Miliband, is the son of one the foremost loony-left lecturers in Britain. Tony Blair made him head of his Policy Unit when he became Leader of the Opposition and he remained in this position until TB parachuted him into a safe Labour seat in 2001. He has been groomed for the top job ever since. In 2004, The Sunday Times reported thus: “David Miliband, the schools minister, and his brother Ed are set to avoid paying thousands of pounds in tax through an Inland Revenue loophole which the Labour party pledged to close. Ed Miliband is chairman of the council of economic advisers responsible for co-ordinating the Treasury’s long-term policy on behalf of Gordon Brown. Brown recently launched a retrospective crackdown on the abuse of similar inheritance tax schemes which will hit tens of thousands of middle-class families. The scheme used by the Milibands has been excluded from the chancellor’s tough new laws. In 1994 Brown named 25 ‘tax abuses’ – including the Miliband scheme – which he said Labour would stop if it was elected. Almost immediately after arriving in England in 1940, Miliband’s dad, Adolphe, was moved to write: “The Englishman is a rabid nationalist… perhaps the most nationalist people in the world… When you hear the English talk of this war you sometimes almost want them to lose it to show them how things are”. Big Brother > Tony Blair > Education Airstrip 1


  39. 146
    anonymoney says:

    For what it’s worth, I can’t wait to see Miliband turn up at parliament in his short trousers and his lunch box including a banana, waiting to get on the swings with Balls and play school – because that’s what it will be


  40. 151
    Greychatter says:

    I can never understand how these sons of an illiegal immigrant can be push into power to control the British people. Who or what is the power behind the scenes that controls the media and BBC to dupe the public into thinking these people are the best thing since sliced bread.

    The new government gets less publicity than these morons and they are the ones who are trying to sort out Labour Socialist mess. We have to live within our means and that means a lot of heart ache for the public but not the Politicians.

    I turn off the TV if ever they are on including Andy Marr, Kevin McGuire etc.


  41. 152
    Alf Garnett says:

    What an arrogant little shit! Perhaps Peyronies’s Disease will spread from his banana to his ding-a-ling, in a manner akin to Pinnochio’s snout?

    Or maybe he has it already?.

    Anyone would have to be as deranged as he seems to be to think that he or his dictatorial party have in any whit changed or are worth voting for.


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