September 16th, 2010

Windswept Tom Harris Applies for Shadow Cabinet

If Chris Bryant was somewhat over-detailed in his resume – including every boy scout badge was hardly necessary, Tom Harris is going to the other extreme, or, as he puts it “cutting to the chase”. He looks manly, as he says, he can hold his own at the dispatch box. He includes pictures in his email  to prove it:

Via Labour Uncut.


  1. 1
    Dark Lord says:

    I always wanted to be the first to post.


  2. 2
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Glad he can ‘hold his own’ and not need a spad to hold it for him.


  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    good luck Tom


  4. 4
    Dark Lord says:

    Tom Harris – never heard of him.


  5. 5

    Tom Harris might be wrong about a lot of things – but at least he takes a lot of shit of people without storming off in a hissy fit.

    P.S. Jack Straw ‘appears’ in a bathroom tile


    • 246
      William Hague's Driver says:

      Fuck off, clown.

      Try mentioning on his blog that rant he had with someone at the fees office because they rejected his claim for baby clothes/bottles etc.. for his sprogs.

      See how far that gets.

      He’s a pro Liebour troll. Nothing more.


  6. 6
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Throw him in the river and see if he floats.


  7. 7
    Ben 'buggering' Bradshaw MP: ex BBC cunt, and right on massive arse-bandit of socialisms says:

    Another Scotch gobshyte who spent his pre Westminster career feeding from the public trough.

    Comrades I urges you to make him shadow minister for Business, Banking, the Treasury, or Foreign Affairs!!
    His working experience as Senior media relations officer for Glasgow City Council makes him a natural for these positions.


  8. 8
    Chris uncut Bryant says:

    My ballbag is significantly larger than his, and smooother


  9. 9

    He’s got no chance.
    None of the ‘infamous five’ would have anyone in their cabinet with more talent than they have.


  10. 10
    Quango says:

    “Guido has hopefully managed to transition from being an enemy of the last Labour government to being an enemy of this Coalition government”

    Try harder – how about holding the government to account rather than bothering with a proposed shadow nobody’s cv.


  11. 15
    Steve Miliband says:

    Fucking months of fucking Labour fucking leadership contest and now fucking shad cab fucking fucks.

    Is the BBC providing run the clock coverage? It is the right thing to do in the face of the onslought of the ConDem cuts after all – at the taxpayers expense.


  12. 16
    Popeye says:

    Not short of gift-of-the-gab attributes, but still a lefty loser!


  13. 20
    UAUAF says:

    Does anyone care ?


  14. 21

    Wait till next year…our blog will be massive… yeah!


  15. 22
    Dim Twat says:

    Excuse me for being a dim twat but are all these emails directed to you Guido?


  16. 25
    streamfisher says:

    Noticed lately we have a continuous stream of public sector organisations and quangos coming out with reasons why their budgets should not be cut and predicting dire consequences, not us, not us, they all scream.


    • 90
      no longer anonymous says:

      This being the latest from the luvvies:


    • 97
      A non catholic says:

      I have noticed lately that the BBC has been heavily canvassing all areas of Government spending and sticking a Camera in their faces and telling them their budget will be cut by 40% and then asking them how they will cope and giving them a platform for massive unrestricted fearmongering, and then the BBC fill the news bulletins.


    • 107
      Backwoodsman says:

      The bbc have them on a rosta, so thay always have a fresh reason for a spot of light coalition bashing. I particularly enjoyed plod the other day, who’s working practices and overtime scams are a byword for public sector troughing, claiming they could’t be cut , because they would be required to put down the crime wave caused by budgetry responsibility.
      try scrapping the Mcpherson report sponsored paperwork mountain and save some forests at the same time you mongs.


      • 187
        Smig says:

        Plod are the overpaid, over-overtimed, enforcers of govt. policy.

        It’s time that every copper was reminded of the Oath they took when being sworn in as a Constable.


  17. 29
    My other car's a Merkava says:

    Nice. The only thing missing was “This message will self-destruct in five seconds.”


  18. 30
    Loud Mouthed Twat says:

    I have just past two cars doing traffic counting. One doing the counting and what looked like one supervising . The second car was a top of the range BMW. I let them know loudly that during cutbacks they should be number one on the list of non fucking jobs to go.


    • 38
      streamfisher says:

      Only 2?, usually its 3, one can read, one can write and the third is there to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.


  19. 33

    So, not only does he admit to having been under Gordon Brown but he also thinks the country can afford another 13 year Labour stab at governing.

    NURSE – the screens!


  20. 34
    Bob says:

    Tom Harris is half-way honest

    He will never get elected to Zanu’s Shadow Cabinet FFS

    Labour will prefer people like Liam Byrne who tried to cover up for McBride; Whelan, Watson and Draper during Smergate…

    That’s the real Labour Party…


  21. 35
    Swing Low says:

    My malebags got bigger parcels than yours.


  22. 36
    Practical Eric says:

    How is the Pope going to get down those steps? They should have provided a platform lift.


  23. 39
    pungent peter says:

    depthcharge splooosh


  24. 40
    UAUAF says:

    Guido , Judt dust down that gunpowder and finish what you started .


  25. 42
    Curious of Halesowen says:

    Why is the Pope being welcomed by a group of men in Skirts?


  26. 45
    Steve Miliband says:

    PS Heathrow is a shithole


  27. 46
    Cock Heads says:

    Well the popes here. When can we expect Billy Vague protesting hand in hand with Peter Thatchall.. OH Dear.

    Gay Boy – back in the box billy


  28. 48
    Amen says:

    The UK is Sodom and will be vapourised, do not look East or you will be turned to salt.


  29. 49
    Voice of Treason says:

    Sorry to digress but I just had to share this report in the Manchester Evening News:

    “Two boys pedalled to freedom after being allowed out of a secure unit to take their cycling proficiency test.

    The pair, aged 13, and 14, are serving custodial sentences at Barton Moss Secure Unit in Eccles…”


  30. 51
    Up sh1t creek says:

    If you’ve ever visited Westminster Bridge, it’s ALWAYS full of people. That guy must be so repulsive that nobody is in the shot around him.


    • 64
      Touch Up says:

      Looking at Big Ben. It’s about half one in the afternoon so no reason for the bridge to be empty. Is it a photo shop?


  31. 57
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Perhaps he could be Shadow Energy Secretary and explain to the us why Gormless Gordon let the Nation’s gas reserves dwindle down to one day’s supply last winter.



    • 68
      Now I'll have to kill you. says:

      he could not get credit for more than one days gas.


    • 141
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Because when they got in in 1997 they shelved the Tories energy review, which included the recommendation to build more gas storage facilities to even out supply, especially at winter.

      Now the Europeans have a few weeks of supply each, which really helps in winter, whereas British Gas (or whatever their trading name is try try hiding who they are), has a VERY short capacity, which showed up last winter.

      The UK has the mentality of doing the minimum possible, that’s why Labour sat on the idea of replacing nuclear power stations for 12 years.

      You’d think with the record amount Labour got from The City, the record amount they raised from stealth tax rises, and record amount of borrowing, the UK would be a better place and ALL infrastructure updated. But no, all the UK got was Labour going on a benefits vote buying binge to keep Labour in power. The UK remains a dilapidated sh1t hole.

      Labour shafted the UK good and proper, and nothing short of charges for economic sabotage should be bought against the then Labour cabinet members.


  32. 58
    Gordon Brown says:

    Is David Cameron still leader of the opposition?…it’s been such a long time since I went to the house of commons.


  33. 59
    bergen says:

    He’s one of the better (or least poor) of Labour MPs.Much better than Captain Underpants anyway.


  34. 66
    Circus Tipriot says:

    Thinks he’s ‘ard, duzzee? Eh? Eh?
    He should try taking the fight to the pillocks in Brussels….


  35. 70
    One bitter Man says:

    I bet Gordon is pissed Off. The Pope is visiting his home town and it is Nick Clegg and Alex salmond who are greeting the Pope and not him.


  36. 74
    Engineer says:

    “…I was an effective minister at the Department for Transport under both Tony Bliar and Gordon Brown…”

    So effective that nobody has ever heard of him.


  37. 79
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    McMental will probably end up chasing the pope through the kitchens of holyrood house


  38. 91
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Or maybe he could become Shadow Defence Minister and explain this one away ?


    • 99
      Anonymous says:

      How come we’re spending only £9bn less than the Chinese on our army but have only a tenth of their manpower?

      I wouldn’t fancy our chances against the Chinese army tbh, so where’s all the money going?


    • 160
      Mike Hunt says:

      PFI not good value for money?

      Fuck me, there’s a surprise.


  39. 92
    Browned Off says:

    Everything except the Bridge railings is Brown in that picture


  40. 98

    Today I shall be being held outside of the security cordon as I attempt to explain to the security personnel that I really am on the guest list. Only they spelled ‘Brown’ as ‘Clegg’.


  41. 102
    Potkettle says:

    I notice the chamber is nearly empty as usual in his despatch box pic

    Obviously he is a boring twonk and we were paying the last lot for doing exactly what Brown is doing now i.e. staying at home


    • 111
      Mitch says:

      That’s Tom saving the world with his ‘Neasden By-Pass (widening)’ legislation.

      Unfortunately, colleagues had other more important business to do: picking their noses, having a cup of tea, etc.


  42. 103

    That Holyrood menu in full:

    – Tarte aux Huîtres Poilue-

    – Beef Jerky –

    – Bang Bang Chicken –

    – Fromage Casque –

    Entertainment provided by:

    “Enfants de Chœur sous la Table” and

    “Le Bâtons Ventre”


  43. 117
    BBC Trust Pre-emptive Strike says:

    TV licence fee frozen for year – that should keep the government off our back and maintain our privileged tax-funded pre-eminent media position.


  44. 119
    good day says:

    Some strange pigeons just came home with mine with little packets of very nice weed strapped to them.


  45. 122
    The Pope says:

    I can raisa bigger army than a you lot


  46. 126
    the last quango in paris says:

    let’s cut to the chase.

    his use of the word ‘puppets’ sums up the pathetic, loutish attitude of the Labour party – people like him prove they haven’t changed. They are welcome to him.

    That is all. For now.


  47. 129
    Who'd have thunk it? says:

    Queen welcomes peedofile Nazi and swaps conkers.

    Great role model you are Liz!


    • 173
      Fuck off says:

      Yeah saddos like you will only be happy if she was welcoming Ayatollah Khamenei into the country.


      • 202
        I ♥ Ahmadinnerjacket says:

        I’d prefer Ahmadinnerjacket to the pope (or the Queen come to that) any day. He brightens up any occasion, his speeches really get under the skin of all the twats listening. Good.


    • 188
      Potkettle says:

      Well what did you expect, she is a Von Hapsburg herself


  48. 130
    FUCK IT OFF says:

    I am FUCKING getting sick of that Search bar


  49. 135
    Ellie Gelland says:

    Ed Miliband for Labour Leader

    Ed Miliband for Prime Minister

    Ed Miliband for Pope


  50. 143
    UAUAF says:

    Freddie Flintoff to reitre from all forms of cricket


  51. 145
    tell us says:

    why should we pay for water if NGO’s can give it to the third world for free?


  52. 148

    Any chance of a new thread Guido, this one’s stopped working!


  53. 152
    • 157
      Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

      Tracey used to love cleaning my hollyhocks.


  54. 153

    O/T, but Shortarzy has really pissed the Luxembourgois off by telling them they can have all France’s pikeys if they want, after the EU ‘Justice Commissioner’ compared his policies to those enacted in the time of his grandfather (who deported 2000 citizens from his Hungarian town during WWII).

    Could get tasty if someone is pissed off enough to look closely at Sarkozy grandpere’s history…


  55. 155
    annnnonyperson says:

    Tom Harris, another of Labour’s nearly men.


  56. 158
    Susan Boyle says:

    Ooch eye the noo!

    I’m joining in the appalling media circus that is the pope’s visit.


    • 163
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      You should have asked whether you could do “walk on the wild side” when you weren’t allowed to do “perfect day”.

      Even better, something off “Berlin”.


    • 167
      Spazmodicuz says:

      200 people are employed to tell her she is wanted, needed, beautiful.etc.


  57. 166
    William Hague says:

    I can hold my own too.
    I can also hold Chris Myers own also.
    We often hold each others own.
    We’d both like to hold Tom Harris’s own.


    • 184
      EURO BORG says:

      10 of 27 (human designation: Gay Bill), you are no longer relevant. You have been superceeded by 27 new heads appointed to our External Action Service (EEAS) which was established under the Lisbon treaty. They will demand recognition of the Collective as a full member of the international community and as a nation state.

      You will continue to pose as the controller of the British Foreign service in order to fool the British humans until such time as we can fully assimilate them. Fortunately for us, they are stupid creatures, and have a natural propensity to deny and even enjoy their own enslavement.


  58. 169
    NSPCC are pedos says:

    The NSPCC have got on the Popes visit, running help the abused kids ads every break. I think getting kids to act for the camera like they have been abused is child abuse. If they can afford hours of TV ads they seem to be wasting money.


  59. 170
    Mucho thanks says:

    That noscript is great,site loads without ads or shit, very fast, its like going on the web with windows 3.1


    • 239
      Anonymous says:

      It is. Be wary of blaming a site if something fucks up though. More likely that something is being blocked…


  60. 171
    Fuck off and let me see the pope mobile in peace says:

    Get this Scottish bastard on the BBC crying on about the streets of Edinburgh off the fucking tv. I wanted to watch the pope not hear some Scots Hunt crying about home.


  61. 174
    Sum of all pedos,except George Michael says:

    pope = pedo meets queen = pedo meets blair = pedo meets brown = pedo


  62. 175
    Fuck off says:

    The Guardian and rest of the Dhimmi media has only got it’s knickers in a twist because Ayatollah Khamenei won’t be making a state visit anytime soon.


    • 189
      I ♥ Ahmadinnerjacket says:

      I’d prefer Ahmadinnerjacket to the pope any day. He brightens up any occasion, his speeches really get under the skin of all the twats listening. Good.


  63. 177
    Sum of all pedos,except George Michael says:

    Poor George jailed for being stoned while this piece of shit is paid by us.


  64. 178
    Muslim Media says:

    Ohhhh let me chop me foreskin off let me change my name and learn arabic i’m such a good little slave.


  65. 179
    callingallcomets says:

    Justine Greening cut off Wark’s legs on Newsnight last night…sweet..


  66. 180
    Groucho Fawkes says:

    I see the Queen insulted the Pope by not wearing black.


  67. 181
    £18.95 too much you faking bastard says:

    The police officer blinded by gunman Raoul Moat has revealed he is fighting the Government after being awarded £18.95-a-week mobility allowance.

    Probably because they know he is a fraud.


    • 185
      Groucho Fawkes says:

      wonder when he will declare the money sent to him by well wishers.


      • 192
        Cock Heads says:

        errr – this cop is a public sector worker, so right wing c*unts probably think he is an idle bugger sponging off the state.

        Power is much more difficult, isnt blue nose cocks.

        PS No free parking in NHS hospitals, and after all that fuss. oh dear isnt that a stealth tax that will not be scrapped….whoops


        • 194
          Anonymous says:

          Get back to the Grauniad you Hunt. You’ll see just how much plod is respected in your circles too.

          You must be plod – fuck you.


          • men of honour working for honourable gentlemen. says:

            Years ago cops joined to make a difference. Now they join to get revenge for being bullied in the play ground. I had some staying by me in one of those community houses the singles stay in.They had lots of pot smoking and coke snorting bar b q’s. One then observed my security cameras and came knocking with a bullshit yarn that the night before someone had been beaten up and did my camera catch it. I knew he was testing to see if I recorded so I said I didn’t, actually I do and have the tapes.This relaxed him enough for him to tell me he was doing a firearms course and could not wait to shoot someone, the money was really good too.


          • Anonymous says:

            men of honour etc You made that story up didnt you , you sad little man !


        • 195
          We all know it says:

          he was sitting on a traffic island waiting to pounce and tax the next unsuspecting motorist to pass.


        • 201
          Sir Williiam Waad says:

          # Auld Lang Syne

          You lost you lost you lost you lost
          You lost you lost you lost
          You lost you lost you lost you lost
          You lost you lost you lost


    • 203
      Tony Blair The Manipulative Millionaire says:

      Today I’ll mostly be counting my money, polishing my medals, and talking bollocks about weapons of mass destruction and the war on terror all over American TV chat shows.

      Thank you.


      • 209
        The political class can kiss my arse says:

        It’s amazing how both the useless ex-PMs have fucked off to hide in America.

        What is it about that place that appeals to them? Iz it coz all the locals iz thik?


    • 234
      the beast of clerkenwell says:

      I wonder if the pig in question has got a computer for the blind yet
      Then he could listen to all the comments from those of us where were not so bothered that he was shot and wonder why


  68. 183
    Tom Harris says:

    Why is this not tagged totty watch ?


  69. 193
    Bill says:

    All this pope hating lot doth protest too much.


  70. 199
  71. 211
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    Any truth in the rmoururs that chris bryant has threatened to block his entry?


  72. 217
    Potkettle says:

    How do you make a turkey bomb, is it like a nail bomb but… get the picture


  73. 219
    concrete pump says:

    Fucking bollocks!!


  74. 225
    BBC NEWS says:

    Today we’ll mostly be attacking the Pope and the Catholic Church, talking about child abuse, the Hitler Youth and the NAZI’s. Supporting the unions and the forthcoming strikers, jazzing up the dull boring Labour leadership contest and attacking the ConDems for their public sector cuts.

    Thank you.

    PS. We are not politically biased in anyway at all, that will be £145 please!


  75. 226
    Thanks yanks you wanks says:

    Before the US decided to be world plod Afghanistan was a great place to go and chill out with a good spliff, The locals were friendly and the cost of living was great. Americans really have fucked the world. They have enraged Muslims who were very happy to live and let live, they knew we were unbelievers, not Muslim and it never bothered them, they knew we had our own religions and they respected that.


    • 229
      White Van Man says:

      Then they thought fuck this shit and said lets build training camps, create hundreds of brainwashed suicide bombers and fly passenger planes in to skyscrapers.

      And the rest as they say, is history.


    • 230
      the beast of clerkenwell says:

      Apart from Saudi thst is true
      I know a few Muzzies and they dont care what Christians get up to as long as they dont offend public decency (like sex in public or drunkeness in a public places) and Mohammed revered both Jesus and Mary as do all none hook waving Muslims
      A friend lives in Malaysia (Muzzie) Christains can gamble, drink, fornicate and still be welcome in Muslim homes as long as they do what we do in private


  76. 227
    • 238
      the beast of clerkenwell says:

      This is a true story
      The Beasts granfather was a Bobby for 12 years, they had a series of burglaries from local shops (this was during rationing)
      Grandfather Beast being a bit smart worked out that all the burglaries had happened when the shop keepers were on holiday and this copper had been given the keys
      Grandfather Beast tailed the f ucker and pulled him up at his regular check point, and heard ticking from under this chaps police helmet
      F ucker had pinched a carriage clock


  77. 241
    Anonymous says:

    Speaking of Tom Harris I think all readers will enjoy


  78. 242
    Anonymous says:

    Whilst on the subject of self-serving c*****.
    Steven Purcell is in a posh Glasgow eaterie with willie Haughey etc on route to Bellahouston .

    A Blessing for forgiveness?


  79. 243
    Kered says:

    Nice to know he is holding his own. Some politacians prefer to have someone holding it for them!


  80. 245
    Edinburgh is a socialist arsehole says:

    Stick the fat commie bastard in a tracksuit and make the arsehole go for long jog.


  81. 247
    mirror mirror on nthe wall ........ says:

    Isnt Bryant a renowned photographer? He didnt mention that


  82. 248
    Tom Harris MP says:

    i’m a Hunt


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