Kay Burley’s Fantasy, Drunken, Nymphomaniac Characters
Kay Burley’s new book First Ladies, could be problematic. Burley is quoted in the Telegraph as saying “readers will certainly recognise the three women in my novel”, it tells the somewhat more racy than Mills & Boon tale of “three formidable women, united in their love of one man (who just happens to be the prime minister), but soon set on a path of revenge”.
The fictional women are; the “titian-haired” Sally Simpson, “a powerful magazine editor … in skin-tight Prada and killer heels, she is every man’s fantasy”; Valerie Jenson, a “deeply unhappy” and “weary first lady” who “spends her time drinking”; “sexy TV reporter Isla McGovern, who has caught Julian’s eye and will do anything (or anyone) to get to the top”.
Wonder who she based the characters on?
Anna Wintour, Norma Major and Kay Burley… natch
I’ll be taking a look into this !
OT England Goalkeepers the next Generation
http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/world-of-sport/article/22038/
What Kay Burley actually looks like:
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01010/burley-460_1010095c.jpg
I still would.
I know who Sarah-Jane Mee is so I would not!
So how about Kay and Sarah Jane simultaneously?
Sarah Jane, Chloe Everton, and Kay Burley might swing me.
Max Factor?
No
That is a case for….(da-da-da-darrrrr) BOTOXMAN!!!!
Aaaah, this explains why the Avon lady is so cross.
Jealousy?
I didn’t know Kay Barely could write
Who cares if she can or she can’t?
By the way, with regard to the banner line up:
Yes. Maybe. Not in million years even if the alternative was to have my testicles gnawed off by aged weasils with blunt teeth. Yes
I bet that will be a gripping read….
Imelda’s out, obviously – unless you’ve got a nasty case of elephantitis of the family jewels but the other two? Hmm..meh, couple of beers and with the agreement that they shut the fuck up and, well, be rude not to, frankly.
Who could Del Piero (wasn’t he an Inter Milan footie player) shag to get to the top? Aren’t they all gayers? (Although there is a blokey demenour to the err..lass!)
Dunno, but I don’t recognise any of those women. Perhaps I should keep the lights on.
Who the hell did del Piero (wasn’t he an Inter Milan footie player?) clamber on to get to the top? Aren’t they all gayers? I guess she does look like a bloke, though. Never trust a woman with a deeper voice than your own, Glasshopper.
Del piero played at juventus
I sit corrected. Her accent makes me giggle. I expect a ‘by eck’ or ‘by any road’ whenever s/he speaks.
“readers will certainly recognise the three women in my novel”
Erm, no. I don’t recognise any of them, but then I’m not exactly the target audience for this sort of pap.
Just heard V. Beckham on Sky, she is imitating Nigel Tufnell doing his sandwich speech!
I would not do her with Beckham’s!
Many moons ago when I was a cabbie, I once had Kay Burley in the back of my cab
Martin, do you mean ‘had’ in the ‘she was a passenger’ sense, or ‘had’ in the ‘I used rohypnol’ sense?
I would like to have her in the back of my VW camper.
Martin, you haven’t even got your driving licence yet. What are you doing playing on the internet when you should be doing your homework?
Would that be the Dinky or Corgi version when you were having your first “wet dream” ?
Kay has a penchant for toy boys.
Now please don’t get me started on Sally Bercow or Gloria De Piero and the time we made up a foursome
Foursome? Did you get a Fisher Price My First Golf Set for your birthday?
is there any “up the chutney” action in the book?
Wrong book. You need The Third Man by Lord Fondlebum of Boy.
Hmmm. Anne Widdicombe, Margaret Thatcher and that pair Rooney borked? Makes perfect sense?
Doh! Janet Shtreet=Pawter, Poor Sarah and Kirsty Warrk, obviously.
If Street Porter had hayfever it could all go terribly wrong (although, if you were in that situation, suicide becomes a viable expedient).
Sounds like a brave move by the dim one.
Apparently in the forthcoming BBC Drama “Special Relationship” about Blair and Clinton it’s reported that there is a line in it said by Clinton when meeting Blair and Cherie for first time…! I always worry when the husband is the attractive one in a relationship!” The writers alledgedly backed away from more “catty dialogue” about the “First Lady” for fear of possible litigation so I hope Kay has not made the characters too recognisable or written anything scurrilous
The “dim one”remark is a bit rich comming from some one who poses on tinternet in his undercrackers.
They were dirty knickers and he was touting for men.
Kate Burley and her latest blockbuster book,nah.
I’ll bet she’ll sell more than gordon does with his ‘I saved the world’ due out in November.
Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction must make sense said Mark Twain. Gordon’s will just be the ramblings of a madman.
who’s the one with the ginger minge.
Your mum.
Dunno, but I bet she’s a virgin.
Nah, Hugh had her over the bonet of his Spitfire, told me so himself.
She’s an actor’s husband who doesn’t mind beating up the poor lamb when she doesn’t get her way.
Hazel Blears?
I would. For the novelty value only, of course.
Kate who? Did she win Big Brother?
Dont care , I would still bone her .
Will this book contain any ‘lady love’?
Guido, It’s Rebekah Wade, Cherie Blair and Gloria del Piero. Hope that helps!
(Oh sorry, was I not supposed to mention their actual names?)
Oh there you go! And I thought it was carole caplin, slotgob and fiona millar who all lusted and scrapped after ole tone.
Of course after gordon came into no 10, it became, according to one of his senior ministers, a ‘homoerotic zone’ so things like that didn’t happen anymore!
Fiona Campbell’s (nee Millar) brother is the QC defending Phil Woolas today over his ‘alleged’ dodgy campaingning. Quelle surprise!!
‘alleged’? !!
He only has a 103 majority in his constituency. I hope te slimy creep loses this case and there has to be a re-run. I bet Joanna Lumley is hoping it too!
It’s for the Lib guy to prove the allegations are false rather than Woolas to evidence their veracity. Election law, eh? Some might call it a fix!! I’m not an expert but i’d fall off my sofa if it’s upheld.
If the Prime Minister is gay, (as e.g. per the Matilda stories from Clarissa Dickson Wright), why would Julian be interested in any of these predatory females?
Miranda, surely?
Don’t call me Shirley.
Is this book really Kay admitting that she has a crush on SnotGobbler McBroon
Anywaywhat about the dickheads at the tuc ?
Don’t worry, BB
The ‘impartial’ BBC will give you all the goss about the wonderful Bob Crow and his goons
Oh , I dont watch it ( The BBC that is ) , Read some union oik in the guardian today , Spend , spend spend and tax rises was the jist , Dont they get it ?
The beeb really should offer bobcrow a contract as a comedian he’s been very entertaining to watch today. He’s either offering to dress up in a loin cloth and sit down in the middle of the A14 or planning to dress up as superman and scale the heights of no.10.
No doubt he’s paid that £133k pa from his members subs especially to come up with these very novel solutions to his union’s problems.
Hey they can afford it – with the taxpayer paying some obscene ammounts of money in union ‘salaries’ and ‘modernisation grants’, all the subs go straight into the strike kitty. Another fact NOT rvealed by those fearless journalists & NUJ members at the bbc.
Stupid airhead bitch.
Third bird from the left……That ugly old pig scaring minger has definitely been airbrushed. You should see it first thing in the morning……
“readers will certainly recognise the three women in my novel”
More to the point, so will their lawyers.
Airbrushed? More like shot blasted.
You bastard Guido…
What are you trying to do to us, your loyal readers, by placing the word ‘Nymphomaniac’ above a picture of slot gob!!
Are you trying to kill us?!
it tells the somewhat more racy than Mills & Boon tale…
Then it’s clear you haven’t read a Mills and Boon novel of late. They are filthy! (Or so I hear…)
Good Heavens surely not!? I have a 95year old relative who reads them!
More like …..she melted into Clive’s strong arms and gave way to the wave of passion that gripped her trembling body as he gently picked her up and carried her out of the stable/car/lounge/office into bedroom/chalet/etc etc. “Oh Claire!” he murmured “You don’t know how much I have longed for this moment!” His tongue gently moving over her………………………END OF CHAPTER
…..later he sold her house,emptied her accounts and fucked off to Brazil
From left to right…
3 Pinta
6 Pinta
25 Pinta and 3 bottles of Vodka
1/2 a Pinta
“25 Pinta and 3 bottles of Vodka”
plus a minimum of 3 industrial strength paper bags
You then place all three over her head.
Thinking of it, even 3 may not be enough
Beggars can’t be choosers lads.
Damn right. Any port in a storm I say.
I have heard kay likes it up the arse …….
You got this information where?
Christmas Party 2007. One of the lads has got it on tape.
You ain’t seen me, right?
Is this a voice tape saying that she likes it up the arse, or a video tape of her taking it up the arse.
If the second please upload to one of the many community porn sites.
You’d be knocking back the London Dry as well if your old Jenson only had a button the size of my cockless tosser’s. Anyway, can’t stand chatting at my rates. Off to Cornwall…Widemouth.
Fecking ‘emmet – it’s Wid’mouth!
Damn. How did I only manage to fuck the ugliest one?
Because you are an idiot!
I would destroy Gloria Del Piero
Tory power grab, queen speech set back to May 2012.
T*ory power grab, queen speech set back to May 2012.
Very sensible move by the coalition. That should cut costs down a bit. Nice spectacle , good for tourism, but it does cost a lot of money to put on.
Care to explain how?
They all have to turn up thats why.
Expense claims, attendance allowance, food, drinks bills, entertainment allowances, anything else they can think of.
Old Bill probably don’t miss the chance to put in overtime either.
As a retired drunken nymphomaniac I have already written a book that is similar. Yawwwn. Ommmmm.
I wonder if Kay has a chapter on her sky news reading boyfriend, you know, the one who twatted her on the doorstep and then got the sack for it.
Come on,surely you remember? She went off sick for six months and then came back with black hair.
Something do with wanting shaft her but he didn’t want to, so she bounced him and he knocked two shades out of her.
Bully.
He’s ok though.
Frank Partridge:
http://www.tvforum.co.uk/forums/topic9228
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article85365.ece
The picture of Kay Burley on that page is so airbrushed its almost and artists impression
I knew I’d seen that face before…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferengi
Oh. I will write a song about this. Perfect opportunity to get my baps out and sponge off the peasants.
Burley, Burley’s a dirty girly,
Makes my winky hard when it’s early.
have you seen the size of Gloria de Piero’s knockers?
Yup go pull ya pud over this lot…
http://picasaweb.google.com/dodger2006/GloriaDelPiero#
Yes i have….
Sorry, what was she saying?
“Put your head in between them and go blubble blubble blubble??”
…with American Express.
I don’t like women.
It’s ok. We don’t like you either, Gordon.
its known in HR, the boss hires like minded, personnel, sky must be hotbed of spouse flippers. camberley on cable.
A boss who hires only like minded people is a boss of a business that will eventually fail.
Like Tony Blair and Gordon Clown?
One thing is for sure, “Slotgob” will remain latched to “Our Tone” whilst he is pulling in the big bucks even if he were to play away.
Chick Lit – keeping women in their place since 1650.
Disappointing that space couldn’t be found for a Julia Hartley-Brewer character..
Mmm… those thighs…
So Hague had it off with Myers in Bosnia at our expense
there he is at the back.
http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/7795/myers1714340c2951050.jpg
Combat farting cows to save politics.
Is Pascoe Watson in it?
anyone watching the fixed term elections bill?
“…in skin-tight Prada and killer heels, she is every man’s fantasy”; It can only be Harriet.
Naturellement
Gloria de Piero wasn’t the only one he fancied…
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-8505957-this-woman-can-have-blair-any-time.do
So was the Bliar shagging KAy Burley, Gloria de Piero, Rebekah Wade and Adam Boulton’s misses or was he just wanking in the mirror all those years?
That’s why McDoom hated our Tony so much – going straight when he became PM.
Its a good job the EU is in charge of the country, our news people don’t seem to have any real politics to report on
Meanwhile, Gordon Brown is in the Ukraine, is he not?
http://englishrussia.com/index.php/2010/09/13/the-8th-mobile-phones-throwing-championship-in-belarus/#more-17961
I’m sure the four are Anne Widdecombe, Betty Boothroyd, Margaret Beckett and Jack Charlton
“in skin-tight Prada and killer heels, she is every man’s fantasy”
It cracks me up the way women write.
As if men give a shit what women wear. Unless they’re wearing nothing, we don’t actually notice what they wear. A shallow woman vacuously obsessed with labels is not “every man’s fantasy” at all. She’s simply a boring and empty-headed financial liability.
I’m baffled at the oft-made claims for women’s supposed emotional intelligence and insight, as well. Despite their acute sensitivity and intuition, they mostly can’t figure out what’s happening in their relationships under their noses unless it’s spelt out to them every day, by a man, in words of one syllable.
If they don’t get their way they stamp their little feet with rage and then comfort-eat till their faces burst. If you divorce them, they unhesitatingly use the children as a weapon. Screw the impact on the children, there’s always collateral damage in pursuit of a feud. Tough luck, kiddies.
They never own anything either. Their cars are beaten-up old heaps of 15-year-old shit, they don’t own a decent stereo or TV, and if there’s a decent kitchen in their place, it was there when they moved in. What they do own is thousands of pairs of shoes. So when they get repossessed for not paying the mortgage, they may not have a roof over their head, but at least they’ll have shoes on their feet.
They’re complete arseholes really, and I don’t like them at all. If they didn’t have minges and botties for us chaps to poke*, there’d be absolutely no point to them whatsoever.
* and even this they’re crap at. Women are useless in the sack and the reality is that you have to do all the work and use them to get yourself off. IME.
Bravo Milord!!
Kay Burley? A book? You sure about this?
The problem is they are all too old and wrinkly. And Ginger? Uh, no. As for Prada? Oh please – how much is SHE going to cost? A water cooled American Express Black card for a start. One must prefer a bright eyed brown haired 20 something farm lass from Andalusia, or a 23 year old tanned raven haired sloe eyed young Lebanese vineyard harvester from the Bekah Valley.