September 6th, 2010

Polly Husband’s Poking of Pickles Perilous

David Walker, the not-quite-breadwinner of the Toynbee household and outgoing spinner for the Audit Commission, has written a politically fuelled diatribe against the scrapping of his non-job by Eric Pickles. Guido has mentioned before that Mrs Walker has expressed concern in the Guardian, but Walker’s piece for Public Finance is particularly scathing. Was the article jointly penned , like their upcoming book?

Guido’s ears in DCLG, while taking a break from admiring their new £15,000 £250 portrait of the Queen, suggested the piece was not befitting the code of behaviour expected of a civil servant.

Walker is contracted for the last two years of the Audit Commission, but at this rate he might be retiring to Tuscany sooner than he thinks…


  1. 1
    Blinded by Love says:

    Let’s face it a man who took Polly on for better or worse, is a man who should not be in any position to make decisions.

  2. 2
    head lizard says:

    Good bye and good riddence.

  3. 3
    Andy Marr's baby Polly Parrott says:

    Who’s a pretty boy then .

  4. 4
    Dr Dre says:

    Mr Walker,
    You are one ugly motherfucka!

  5. 5
    The Watcher says:

    He will just have to learn the song “Polly put the kettle on” after all this situation is perfect for Guardianistas. The woman is the bread winner and the hubby is the bread baker. Get your Marigold’s on love and have a nice ciabatta bread and a glass of Pouilly-Fuissé waiting for the old Fabian ice maiden when she gets home.

  6. 6
    When the clock strikes three says:

    How does he keep a straight face when asking Polly to put the kettle on?

  7. 7
    Pollyrattle says:

    It was a marriage of connivence

  8. 8
    Mr Politically Incorrect says:

    Polly Toy Bee or Margaret Beckett. You have to choose one. Suicide isn’t an option.

  9. 9
    Tupac says:

    fuck Dre,fuck Mobb Deep

  10. 10
    The Inquisition says:

    Financial Misconduct=Conservatives

  11. 11
    Moaty says:

    Suicide is always an option

  12. 12
    Lord Palmerston says:

    Does that press release actually say that the portrait cost £15,000? Not altogether sure it does. It doesn’t look like it cost £15,000.

    A completely free portrait of the Queen (and the Duke of Edinburgh) can be found here, courtesy of the Canadian government:

  13. 13
    Conservatives are says:

    Phone tappers and shit shunters

  14. 14
    Capt. Shadow (Retd.) - Former MI5 Wet Ops. Team says:

    Shall I add his name the list, Mr. Fawkes Sah!

  15. 15
    Squawk says:

    Not beacause Polly was Pretty then?

  16. 16
    Mr Politically Incorrect says:

    Walker looks odd. And I’ve figured out why. He looks like a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    Andrew Efiong says:

    No wonder he’s penning bile, his snout is being removed from the trough of public funds. Good riddance!!!

  19. 19
    Gordon Brown says:

    Mummy says if I behave myself in the HoC, I can have fizzy orange with my supper. She’s promised me that this fizzy orange won’t make me all sleepy and slow like the other ones did. I didn’t like that. I had to go beddy bye boes.

  20. 20
    Gordon our saviour says:

    It’s a pity Tonys parents didn’t have second thoughts about the shag they had that night which led to his conception.

  21. 21
    Re Pete says:

    Beauty and the Beast says:
    August 24, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    These two have “history”. Last year, Pickles submitted 3 (i think) FOI requests asking about Polly’s payments from some public body, so you can see why she despises him.
    I’m sure a interweb expert can dig them out.

  22. 22


    I’ll have to get a refund on that petrol now…

  23. 23
    Harry the Camel says:

    Glass of Orvieto or Lambrusco surely innit

  24. 24
    Fubar Saunders says:

    Fucking champagne socialist wankers. I fucking hate them.

  25. 25
    In the interests of impartiality says:

    Tony Blair = 666 Lying Murdering Bastard
    Gordon Brown = Financial Armageddon

    New/Old Labour = A Fucking Joke

  26. 26
    Arresting Development says:

    So Bunter Pickles has place the top troffer in pride place. Looking forward to the republic,viva revolution.

  27. 27
    Arresting Development says:

    My birdflu infected eggs will have to wait for another day.

  28. 28
    Engineer says:

    What do mean, conceived? Didn’t he just slither, fully formed, from under a flat stone?

  29. 29
    Gordon Brown says:

    Wipe my botty please.

  30. 30
    AC1 says:

    Marxism: a mental illness where one of the symptoms is Freudian Projection (Narcissism and Pathological Envy are the others).

  31. 31
    RefuseNik the bin man says:

    Containing the classic quote, He said the Metropolitan Police were “fabulous and they will do whatever we ask them to do”,

  32. 32
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Sarcasm at its best-LOL

  33. 33
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Mr walker your country doesnt need you-fuck off

  34. 34
    nimeataur says:

    the hypocracy of the champagne socialists is incredible three homes an enough make up on her face to keep cement factory going for a month, this hard faced leach and her husband wouldnt know a hard days labour if it was staring them in the face close all the quangos and media out posts the labour lot set up and lets have some bjectivity sad an dself deluded if polly found herself inthe tumbril she wouldnt have clue why

  35. 35
    Suicide, no. Poisoning, maybe. says:

    Definitely Polly.

    Inheriting a Tuscan mansion would be preferable to a caravan and a few hanging baskets.

  36. 36
    Ctesibius says:

    What a completely weird article. Quite blatant self serving.

    It makes you realise that the Labour Party (‘parteh’) really is just a vehicle for enabling its apparachiks to enrich themselves. That’s Socialism.

  37. 37

    Polly’s choices.

    I told James Calaghan that he was the only man I could ever love .. but he let me down.
    I told David Owen that he was the only man I could ever love .. but he let me down.
    I told Neil Kinnock that he was the only man I could ever love .. but he let me down.
    So, I told John Smith that he was the only man I could ever love .. but he let me down by dying.
    I told Paddy Ashdown That he was the only man I could ever love .. but he wasn’t interested, and he let me down.
    I told Tony Blair That he was the only man I could ever love .. but he let me down.
    So I told Gordon Brown that he was the only man I could ever love .. but he let me down.
    So I told David Miliband that he was the only man I could ever love .. but he let me down.
    So I told Nick Clegg that he was the only man I could ever love .. but he really, really let me down.

    You know. I’ve detected a pattern. There is one constant with all my political fantasy lovers.

    Its that all men are bastards

  38. 38
    Penfold says:

    Lefties always rant and rave and scream foul when their goodies are removed.

    It’s patently clear that Walker is in breach of his contract and should be fired, with no severance payment.

    One trusts that Polly will declare her interest and clarify for all her elationship with Mr Walker aka Mr Toynbee.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    He’s been removed from the teat, and now he throws his rattle out of the pram.

  40. 40
    streamfisher says:

    FFS, another useless disreputable twat shouting his mouth off in the media, and the raison d’etre behind all this, well wouldn’t you just know, its yet another forthcoming (but not in the literal sense) Book!, written in conjunction with spouse Polly, get Green and leave the fucking trees alone for once, Gordon has already decimated half the pine forest in Fife.

  41. 41
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Hello, my name’s Tony, and I really want to rehabilitate myself and come back to the UK.

  42. 42

    The left are not very keen to show their relationships are they.

    Garvey/Chiles. Timney/Smith. Balls/Cooper.Moran/Booker. Toynbee/Walker.Miliband/Shackelton. Blair/Booth.

    Match the couple anyone ?
    Would make for a very dull competition one afternoon.

  43. 43
    Archer Karcher says:

    Polly has never been anything other than pretty vacant.

  44. 44
    She definitely isn't may not be Pretty but says:

    I take it that David Walker is a Full Member of CIPFA, a requirement he implies the Audit Commission brings to the table?

    Incidentally, the answer to the question posed by their joint book title (The verdict: did Labour change Britain?) must be Yes – for the worse!

  45. 45
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Hi, my name is Polly Toynbee and I like to talk cr@p about class…. from my villa in Italy…. far away from the likes of you.

  46. 46
    The political class can kiss my arse says:

    Pretentious arsehole.

  47. 47
    streamfisher says:

    Nepotism is the new (but not that new) fashion in the Capitol.

  48. 48
    Dont call me shortly says:

    Short changed.

  49. 49
    Archer Karcher says:

    They rant and rave, because out there in the real world, their type would get nowhere near as much, for so little, as they get sucking the public teat. Quangoshire is indeed, a very lucrative sinecure.

  50. 50
    Neil Kinnochio says:

    Socialism is all right! It’s all right! It’s all right! And my son is all innocent! He’s all innocent! He’s all innocent! And I’d have been an all great prime minister. I’d have been…actually, even I don’t believe that.

  51. 51

    Forget the best one.
    Harman/ Dromey

  52. 52
    Next Labour says:

    Only Labour will protect your child tax credits. Next Labour. A future fair for all.

  53. 53

    Isn’t it time you signed into the parliament and then sodded of home until tomorrow?

  54. 54
    Liam Byrne, Labour's former Chief Secretary to the Treasury, says:

    There’s no money left. Slight spot of financial misconduct. Sorry!

  55. 55
    GrimeLord says:

    Fuck off and die

  56. 56
    The Office of Guido Fawkes says:

    More on that little shit,Nick Clegg

    Nick Clegg can only be described as a Hoon’s Hoon

    Nick Clegg greeted by calls of ‘Judas’ in Sheffield protest | Coalition of Resistance Against Cuts &

  57. 57
    A very very very rich Tony Blair says:

    Yes, that’s right. For God’s sake don’t look too closely at my record. An illegal war with 100,000 dead civilians doesn’t look good, does it?

  58. 58
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    They could have photocopied a tenner.

  59. 59
    A very very very rich Tony Blair says:

    You say “enrich themselves” like it’s a bad thing.

    I’m very very very very rich, all because of an illegal war I started in order to enrich myself.

    Let’s have another war. Let’s bomb Iran. I could be even richer than I am now – which is very very very very rich indeed.

  60. 60
    AC1 says:

    Truth in advertising act says you have to rename to Coalition of those convinced of their entitlement to other peoples money.

    Not as catchy. But then robbery isn’t very glam.

  61. 61
    AC1 says:

    Because people really need to be paid to have sex.

  62. 62
    Dr Kelly says:

    But it always leads to a dead end.

  63. 63
    Tessa Tickles says:

    A marriage made in Heaven:

    Brown/bullet from sniper’s rifle.

  64. 64
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    Guido Fawkes is to leave his role as chief political blogger to become Permanent Secretary at the Ministry of Certain Things.

    The appointment has been approved by Prime Minister David Cameron and Communities Secretary Eric Pickles .

    Cabinet Secretary, Sir Gus O’Donnell, said: “I am delighted Guido has been appointed as the new Permanent Secretary at the Ministry of Certain Things.

  65. 65
    Charles says:

    2nd class stamp wher er maj looks sorta regal.

  66. 66
    QWERTY says:

    He’s a c u n t just like the vile fat pig he’s married to. Piss off Toynbee you ugly hag.

  67. 67
    Liam Byrne says:

    I’m afraid there’s no money left.

  68. 68
    vinegar stroke says:

    “Polly Husband’s Poking of Pickles Perilous.”

    Being married to Polly he’ll be used to poking something sour.

  69. 69
    AC1 says:

    Here’s whats in the transaction log for Database Britain from 1997

    INSERT (LAbour) INTO Government.

    DELETE FROM Wealth

    INSERT INTO Benefits
    SELECT *
    FROM Feckless
    CROSS JOIN Immigrants

    Maybe we can get Cameraon to Rollback Labour?

  70. 70
    QWERTY says:

    Much more fun to push them out of an aeroplane over the Atlantic.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    has she been auditioning for joseph?

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Good riddance you self righteous parasite.

  73. 73
    AC1 says:

    Green living for those who commute between mansions in different countries.

    It’s ALgorian in it’s hypocrisy.

  74. 74
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire says:

    What a idiot !

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t forget a set of dentures last worn by Shergar.

  76. 76
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Oh, for Heaven’s sake – it’s lunchtime. She’s not reading this blog, she’s quaffing Champagne and eating veal, sneering at the grotty little waiters as she pays, like all good Socialists, with her Platinum credit card.

  77. 77
  78. 78
    the last quango in paris says:

    textbook champagne socialist – my friend is one – excellent head teacher so taken OUT of the school to work for ofsted and swans around 1st class drinking champagne.

  79. 79
    White Van Man says:

    An anti-surveillance homophobic lefty at comment 13!

    Well well, after 13 years of ZaNuLiebour whatever next I wonder?

  80. 80
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Speaking as a lefty who has met quite a few lefties I can tell you Senator, Walker is no lefty.

  81. 81
    Bang Cock Lady Boy says:

    Mmmmmm an interesting thought you have there.

  82. 82
    Lil Olmey says:

    Bit of an old boiler, is she ?

  83. 83
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Getting Cameron to do anything is starting to look like a lost cause. Still, he’s supposed to start annihilating civil service jobs next month (the 20th, isn’t it?). I mean, really annihilating them, not just scrapping the odd film council or two.

    I’m looking forward to that. If there aren’t mass protests and riots, he’s not doing his job properly.

  84. 84

    Only Platinum? Idf she hasn’t got a black Amex she’s nobody.

  85. 85
    Reality Check says:

    Labour = There’s no money left
    Coalition = Picking up the pieces and taking the blame
    The British Public & their children & grand children = Paying the fucking bill

  86. 86
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    The though is enough to turn me gay…

    I think I will book a twin room in a travelodge

  87. 87
    Sue Perrin-Junsham says:

    Gordon been in yet?

  88. 88
    the real world says:

    What’s the use of Amex? No one will accept them round here without a massive securtiy check.

  89. 89
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    Shame that Labour didn’t sort out the phone tapping scandal when they were in power…
    They controlled the MET and were not averse to having Damian Green arrested on the most dubious evidence!
    But then again – there was a lot Labour didn’t manage to get around to sorting when they were in power

  90. 90
    Chris Bryant MP says:

    Ok ok Gordy…

    Now bend over and lets have a look see

  91. 91
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Think of the carbon footprint! You could be environmentally friendly and chuck them off Beachy Head instead. Apparently the arms and legs snap off as they bounce down the cliff.

  92. 92
    Backwoodsman says:

    Its time Yates had a look to see if the aquisition of Pollys’ Italian villa , falls under the procedes of crime legislation – all that taxpayers money given to the grauniad for spurious job adverts for labour supporters.

  93. 93
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    Ah yes – child tax credits.

    The wages for the underclass….yes lets pay the underclass to breed like rabbits while workers struggle and can’t afford babies.

    Then in a generation or two this reverse Darwanism programme will mean millions of bone idle chavs and nobody to keep the economy going.

    Labour – fucking things up (literally) for the Country now and in the future

  94. 94
    The HoC Balcony Spy says:

    Not yet, although I hear of late he doesn’t get out of bed till midday.

  95. 95
    Albert Hall says:

    I would rather have Gordon Brown in bed with his best suit than Polly with no clothes on.

  96. 96
    Ratsniffer says:

    Fackin’ ell you’ve done it again Guido. There’s nothing which gets my screaming piles turning purple than reading about Polly Twaddle and her leftie, hand wringing hubby. Why can’t they do the decent thing and retire to the splendour of their Tuscan villa and thank their lucky stars that they are both healthy and wealthy and able to live a lifestyle that the people they wag their fingers at for daring to be middle class can only dream of.

  97. 97
    H. G. Wells says:

    Anybody cracked the ‘History of Mr Polly’ gag yet?

  98. 98
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    No-one done the link to Richard Littlejohns classic bitch slapping..

  99. 99
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m back to take the fight to the coalition. Watch out, here I come!

  100. 100
    streamfisher says:

    Like that, a combination of Algorithm and Al Gore = first Eco billionaire.

  101. 101
    jobs for the goys says:

    Been removed from one publically funded non job? Let’s see where he ends up eh?

  102. 102
    Oh no Orwell was right !!! says:

    Hmmmm like yer thinking Tess!

  103. 103

    How do you get these non jobs? I’m stuck in the commons working my arse off 12pm- 8pm Tuesday to Friday lunchtime. {not including 15 weeks recess}

    Could do with a bit of time off.

  104. 104

    Precisely why the Polly should have one.
    “Don’t you know who i am?”

  105. 105
    The Liberal Elite says:

    Divide and conquer, its what we do best!

  106. 106
    Gordon Brown says:

    I just sploooted.

  107. 107
    Oh no Orwell was right !!! says:

    Awww nice that the old Goons material is getting a new lease of life!

  108. 108
    Oh no Orwell was right !!! says:


  109. 109
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire says:

    No conflict of intrest then ?

  110. 110
    The Liberal Elite says:

    So does accusations of murder

  111. 111
    Oona Kunt says:

    Anyone want to come to my inauguration as London Mayor? It’s a foregone conclusion. I’m having a huge parteh to celebrate. And my friend Di Ann is providing the riiiiice aaaaand peeeeea!

  112. 112
    Oh no Orwell was right !!! says:

    AHH dear polls ! still nailed to the her perch at the grundion looking like sandy toksvics ?? older scary harridan sister who spends all day turning left so many times she keeps hitting herself up the arse which is prob for the best as the chances of that c8ck garage of a husband being able to looks a bit limp!

  113. 113
    The political class can kiss my arse says:

    “Black Activist’s Rising Against Cuts.”

    Just great! If whites started a group called “White Activist’s Rising Against Cuts.” or any other group with White at the front they’d have pissing plod on their doorstep in no time, quickly followed up with a day or two in the cells.

    Fucking hell!

  114. 114
    Groucho says:

    I think the message miight finally be getting through to the evil lying bastard.

    He should have given his memoirs the same treatment as his expenses and shredded them.

  115. 115
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Such as the 10 promises made by blair in 1997?

  116. 116
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Is there the faintest possibility our Tone’s getting the idea we don’t like him any more?

  117. 117
    Vimeiro says:

    or managed to make the tea?

  118. 118
    Alex says:

    People who pick up on other’s typos are normally thick as pigshit types with no capacity for debating the issues being discussed. We all understand what Head Lizard meant, just as we understand that you are an insignificant prick, and probably as much of a thief from the public purse as Walker is.

    I hope you die soon.

  119. 119
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    An unelectable handed a feifdom on a good day to bury bad news. There are Mr Walkers acting as commissars all over the machinery of government, and it will take years to winkle them all out.

  120. 120
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire says:

    I kinda feel sorry for Polly , Writing that amount of shit doesnt really test her brain , She must feel so unfullfield .

  121. 121
    AC1 says:

    IT’s even MORE immoral than eugenics!

  122. 122
    Polly's Villa in Tuscany says:

    Dear God all of you, think of poor Polly in all of this!!! How is she going to keep her 2 million pound mansion in Clapham, the Villa in Tuscany, and the weekender in Lewes, Sussex in the manner she is accustomed on a single salary? It’s only 106 thousand pounds plus book Royalties, appearance fees and consulting work.

    Have you no heart??

  123. 123
    P. Doff says:

    Yeh… but having to lick the back of her neck every time I post a letter leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

  124. 124
    I beg to differ says:

    Labour = marxist social engineers
    Coalition = more of the same
    Labour + Coalition = LibLabCon = bunch of gangsters who would be in prison if this was a proper country

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Walker, Pickles . . . What’s the story here? They are both fucking useless.

  126. 126
    HappyUK says:

    Walker’s pompous and tedious diatribe can be dismissed as the paranoid ranting of a lazy, ignorant, overpaid, state-funded son of a bitch, who is soon going to get his marching orders and wants to exorcise his anger in some way.

    It is not so much the Kindergarten motivation behind his outbursts that bothers me, but assumptions he makes about those that will take over and how he labels them: “amateur bean-counters”, “ordinary people”, “statistical squaddies”, “second guessers”, “armchairs”, ad nauseum.

    All those junkets and six-figure salaries gone! Hooray!

  127. 127
    another NWO clone says:

    Polly Toynbee is like a big old spud. You cut it open with plans to make some nutritional chips, and inside it’s black and full of dead maggots

  128. 128
    streamfisher says:

    Got to hand it to Toynbee, most young peoples aspirations have now descended (after 13 years of New Labour) to the level of how many sprogs out of wedlock do we need to get us a council house and a ‘career’. Mrs Polly has taken this concept to new heights and it has funded a villa in Tuscany and several properties in London, funded mostly via government sponsored Guardian job adverts (came in handy for hubby). No more hypocrisy please!

  129. 129
    All Lib Dems are toss pots says:

    Polly Tonybias is a hateful cow. She has a face you could slap soon as look at her.

  130. 130
    laughing hangman says:

    No, an execution shed and a rope early in the morning.

  131. 131
    (Hideously) White Van Man says:

    isn’t Polly related to the Fabian National Socialist and Nazi apologist Arnold Toynbee? How is she allowed to get away without this being mentioned every timw she pipes up?

  132. 132
    A Bigoted Bigot says:

    He’s a gaybo and she’s a lezza and their marriage is a sham. Fact.

  133. 133
    QWERTY says:

    Yes but if you push them off beachy head they might wash back to shore.

  134. 134
    Jimmy says:

    “the not-quite-breadwinner of the Toynbee household”

    Glass houses?

  135. 135
    Polly's Villa in Tuscany says:

    Yes, it’s Polly’s Grandfather. He was a notorious Anti-Semite…he’d fit in at the Guardian quite well these days.

  136. 136
    Geoff M says:

    Then, get a job you tit, instead of boring us with your earning arrangements.

  137. 137
    Anonymous says:

    Eric Pickles must be having a sly little giggle as he quaffs his brown ale in the evening. Revenge is sweet.

  138. 138
    The horse's head says:

    Polly has a strap-on which keeps Walker (the man with a rectal mouth) happy between Italian boys at their villa. WHAT? Yes, Pollly who has the body of a large sow likes Italian boys too.

  139. 139
    Man in a suitcase says:


  140. 140
    Lynn Trus's says:

    Had to visit their website to check the spelling was accurate. They should be the ‘Greengrocer’s Activists Rising Against Cuts’.

  141. 141
    Sod The Lot says:

    Say what you like about Pickles, since may he’s done more to get the troughers & parasites squealing like stuck pigs. Hopefully there’s more to come, much more.

    Make ‘em moan Tubby.

  142. 142
    Grodon Brown says:

    Indeed! She’s an evil Nazi cu-nt. I’d like to burn has face with a blow lamp as Sarah Brown rapes her with a broken bottle.

  143. 143
    Pedant says:

    Nice title but couldn’t it have been “Polly’s Partner’s Poking of Pickles Perilous” for perfect alliteration (and punctuation)?

  144. 144
    Unsworth says:

    Looks like she’s already wearing it.

  145. 145
    Wayne Loony says:

    Yes, £1,200. That’s six packs of fags.

  146. 146
    paywall says:

    I always thought the Tuscan villa was for providing free holidays to all the minimum wage health service chums that Twaddle made whilst slumming it in a hospital for yet another tedious and hypocrital load of tosh in the Guardian.

  147. 147
    Just Thinking says:

    Too quick and clean.

    Brown/Rusty hacksaw

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