September 2nd, 2010

Sorry, Mrs Fawkes

Guido is currently on holiday in France at the maison secondaire, last night we had 10 for supper and Mrs Fawkes was not amused with the constant interruptions from the Blackberry, it was for her de ja vu (Prescott’s mistress in 2006 interrupted her holiday). Guido had to explain himself to our guests. The French expect their politicians to be virile and have mistresses so this situation was tres amusant.

Guido is using his Blackberry connection to blog from intermittently and the connection is intermittently crap. On the other hand the set-up Mrs Fawkes has created is as grand as Peter Mandelson…

Am off to the beach now…


  1. 1
    MI7 says:

    wow first in.

  2. 1
    Swamp Creature says:

    ‘How well I remember that midnight when, bruised and battered from a run-in with Gordon, I retired to the sofa room with a bottle of Scotch.

    Flicking desultorily through a jazz mag, who should I see draped languidly across the centrefold but my old flame, Audrey Wise. They don’t make ‘em like Audrey any more. What a trooper. Bangers on her like zeppelins. And such a lady. She was the only bit of Old Labour totty I ever honoured that drew the line at gnawing the ‘nana.

    Phwoar. Bet you don’t get too many of those to the pound. Come and shack up with me, Audrey, you little minx.’

    - T Blair, ‘A Journey’

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Enjoy the holiday Fawkes

    • 49
      Dick the Prick says:

      Too right. It’s fucking gorgeous here in Yorkshire. Have a gud, un, Guido. Seem to have knocked over a few sandcastles you fat bastard!

    • 92
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      lucky bastard.

      Its still hot in the south of france and all the french ants are back in their nest.
      Beaches that were full a week ago will be empty.

      (a nod to Edith Cresson there).

  4. 5
    Luther Blissett says:

    Could it be that the blog is crap and the connection intermittent?

  5. 6
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a BBC legend who is not on holiday or a beach .

    Ps More money for the BBC so they can employ top talent like me .

    Ker Ching !!!!!

  6. 7
    Engineer says:

    Think it might be gentlemanly to apologise to Mrs. Hague, too.

    • 13
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      I think Guido should reflect and maybe say sorry , But if it was true then he shouldnt , Where is the golden bullet ?

      • 43
        Engineer says:

        Think now most people agree that Guido had a legitimate question to ask over the circumstances surrounding the appointment of a SpAd paid a salary from the public purse, but unfortunately the media storm has been more about the sexual implications that surround that question. To try and quosh rumours about William Hague’s marriage, the FCO release a press statement containing some very personal details about his and Mrs. Hague’s troubles in starting a family. That must have hurt and offended her; she’s completely an innocent bystander in the politcs of this.

        Sure, politics is a dirty business, and political spouses know that, but there are limits. I daresay that Guido has been surprised by the way this story has developed, and would did not set out to offend Mrs Hague, but as a consequence of Guido’s story, that’s what has happened.

        Come on, Guido. Do the decent thing and apologise to Mrs Hague, at least.

        • 47
          do fuck off you pompous twat says:

          apologise for what ?
          not being a pathetic on-message drone like yourself ?
          I doubt he thinks that is anything to be sorry over

          • Engineer says:

            If you can’t understand what Guido owes an apology to Ffion Hague for, you need to go away and grow up.

          • Spin away, we're not buying it says:

            the so called “Ffion” rubbish is CCHQ public relations diversion bullshit only a fool couldn’t spot a mile off
            which is why you are so happy to spin it so foolishly
            nobody forced Hague to bring her into it
            try again

          • Hagues actions are his responsibility says:

            Has Hague apologised to her for sharing a bedroom with his young spad so many times ?

          • Engineer says:

            Two men share a twin hotel room. Not so long ago, a very regular occurence with travelling sports teams. Does it automatically mean that if two men sleep in the same room, something of a sexual nature must happen?

            You’re adding two and two together an making fourty-seven, and you know it.

            Should Hague have shared a hotel room with an aide? Probably not, but as errors of judgement go, it’s pretty trivial.

            Why did Hague appoint said aide to a post as a SpAd in the FCO, when better candidates were apparently available? That question hasn’t really been answered, and as errors of judgement go, this one is a bit bigger, but still not really earth-shattering.

            As to all the sexual innuendo, it’s just that – innuendo, and it says far more about the people spreading it than about Hagues Mr or Mrs, or Mr Myers.

          • Do you really think Sir Alex Ferguson, a millionaire “sports team” member shares a room with the coach driver when Man Utd play in Europe?

            So why does our millionaire Foreign Secretary think he should?

            I can really see the Kremlin or Mossad saying “how prudent, he is saving £49.89 on the hotel bill”

            Go back to the cold war. This kind of stuff cost the lives of our servicemen and decimated British industry as Cambridge educated MI5 poofs handed over what ever they could lay their hands on to Soviets in exchange for not exposing their little “pecadillos” to their bosses or the newspapers.

          • Biffo says:

            For what? For pointing out William Hague’s lack of judgement?
            It wasn’t Guido who brought up all the stuff about the miscarriages. That was William Hague going for the sympathy vote to ensure that he will keep his job – no matter who else loses theirs. Any apologies due should be from William Hague – to his missus for being a t*** & to the taxpayers for being a troughing t*** & wanting a third SpAd at their expense.

          • Juan Sheet says:

            Do fuck off Engineer. You sound like someone’s embarrassing dad.

          • Engineer says:

            Pointing out Hague’s lack of judgement in appointing Myers as a SpAd – fair enough.

            Using sexual innuendo to draw attention to the story – out of order on the basis of the published “evidence”.

        • 60
          Anonymous says:

          But if the spad was appointed because William was bumming him then the fact that William was bumming him is relevant.

          • Golden Virginia says:

            Old Holburn, u used a bad example, Alex Ferguson does indeed share a room during away trips to European matches, not with the coach driver, but the assistant manager Mike Phelan. People in Manchester have been saying this for years.

        • 66
          Michael Portillo says:

          He should apologise to me first.

      • 45
        exhibit A says:

        the spad quit

    • 15
      Desperate Dan says:

      Like Gordon Brown, he finds it very difficult to apologise.

    • 34
      Anonymous says:

      It wasn’t GF who brought up the miscarriage stuff.

      Hague has done himself and his fragrant wife a disservice by bringing it up. Cry me some crocodile tears big boy!

    • 186
      David Miniblandblair says:

      Only after you’ve removed your from Balls and co.

      Silly troll.

  7. 8
    concrete pump says:

    Watch out for those pesky Icelanders and their big harpoons, won’t you.

  8. 10
    McPoison says:


    Is Mrs Fawkes aware that on occasional business trips you have …er… slept with men? I am told you had gay experiences ala Portillo in your youth.

    Care to comment?

  9. 11
    Mr Splooot says:

    Careful you don’t get mistaken for a beached whale!

  10. 12
    Desperate Dan says:

    Don’t try to shift the blame onto your gormless assistant.

  11. 16

    The French are utter hypocrites. The only reason they think their politicians are so pure is because the press there aren’t allowed to report on any indiscretions the aformentioned politicians commit. Hence why they know so little about Carla Bruni’s “colourful” love life. Their politicians are just as bad as ours, if not worse!

    Enjoy the rest of your holiday, Mrs Fawkes.

  12. 17
    Pedantic Pete says:

    I wanted to be the first to comment-11th ain’t bad though

  13. 18
    Unsworth says:

    Some ‘quality time’, eh? Whatever the fuck that might mean.


    As opposed to Quality Street.

  14. 19
    Anonymous says:


  15. 20
    Pedantic Pete says:

    Damn! I lost 6 places as I was writing that shit!

  16. 22
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dont scare the other people on the beach

  17. 23
    The Morris Marina a nasty log laid by British Leyland says:

    The BBC have been very interesting today, normally anything to do with homosexuality is given a free pass (ignored) bu tof course it’s a Tory so it’s fair game.

    There have been rumours for years about Bliar and Brown’s alleged homosexuality, yet not a mention on the BBC. Even though t the BBC knew Mandelson was a homosexual no one was allowed to mention it until someone outed him on Newsnight.

    I look forward to the BBC being quite so interested in the next Liebour politician who enjoys the back door entry.

    • 64
      Ctesibius says:

      I am frankly amazed by this William Hague story. Yes I heard rumours that the guy was gay but I didn’t believe it and I have heard rumours about most politicians, frankly, at one time or another. EVEN IF HE WAS, this would be a very trivial story and something which was purely between Ffion and William Hague. Even the ‘public interest’ elements of the story – Spads chosen because they are young – is marginal.

      Yet opposite this on the blog every bloody time is a picture of the raving homosexual Mandelson. Sorry to go on about it but the dubious things he has got involved in – Russian aluminium oligarchs, false morgages, resigning twice.

      I’m not sure I could do it withouth slitting my wrists in despair, but perhaps someone could produce a list of all the personal, sexual and homosexual corruption of Labour (and the Lib Dems, let’s not forget Mark Oaten). You would have to include:

      John Prescott and Tracey
      David Blunkett
      The Sith Institute
      Ron Davies and his ‘badger spotting’
      The bloke who photographed himself shagging a prostiture in the Palace of Westminster on Remembrance Day, but was too drunk to remember

      The list goes on. Yet the lefty BBC, who we now know Mark Thompson says was prejudiced against Mrs. Thatcher, seem to let much of that go by (‘boys will be boys’). This Hague story is just a bit of a ‘fail’ but Guido, yet it’s the one thing they’ve picked up on…

      • 71
        £30,000 ? £40,000 ? £50,000 ? £60,000 ? says:

        how much is the taxpayer paying for this young unqualified Spad to sleep in bedrooms with Hague ?

        • 94
          Ctesibius says:

          Less than in two bedrooms, dumbo, and a complete pittance compared to Derry Irving’s wallpaper and the billions upon billions wasted by Labour.

          • Anonymous says:

            As I recall Irving’s wallpaper was for a state owned building. Irving is gone, the building is still there, as is the wallpaper and it will remain there for many decades.

            Hardly the same thing as having the taxpayer fund your catamite.

      • 91
        barefootcontessa says:

        John Prescott won’t be attacking Hague, that’s for sure!

        • 95
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          you never know. Depending on the outcome of all this he could guffah and proclaim:

          “all this trouble and he didn’t even get his end away.

        • 199
          Gordon Ramsey says:

          The only thing Prescott attacks these days is massive lunch…on Lords expenses that is

      • 291
        Susie says:

        Totally agree.

        Perhaps Guido’s batting for the other side now.

  18. 24
    Willsteed says:

    Go easy on Hague yeah, it is boring, dirty and you just come over as some kind of weirdo zealot.

    Prescott was provenly shagging some bird on his office desk at work with all his staff outside… did you make such a meal of that?

    Relax. What will come out, will come out in time, there is no need to terrorise families.

    • 35
      The Morris Marina a nasty log laid by British Leyland says:

      Actually Guido did make a fuss over the fat twat shagging slappers in work time.

      But when was the last time the BBC mentioned it on air? Whenever the BBC mention John Major or Edwina Curry their relationship is brought up on the BBC (snigger snigger) but fatty Prescott shagging his way through half of Downing Street is not. why?

    • 69
      Anonymous says:

      Might have been a bit different if the bird was 24 at the time.

  19. 26

    just reminding us that you’re straight as a die yourself eh guido?

  20. 27
    David Wilson says:

    If Guido does not apologise to the Hagues, he will forever be stained with the slur – not the Hagues. Who will believe him again?
    Without an expression of regret, no-one can move on and it will always be an issue that Guido got it wrong and did not withdraw the offending innuendo. Simples.

  21. 28
    smoggie says:

    The Seven Up stats should be interesting this weekend.

  22. 31
    Mr Splooot says:

    This non-story reeks of trying to get attention and thereby boost site hits and ad revenue. It’s worked. Just a shame it was so shabby and stank of tabloid sleaze.

  23. 32
    streamfisher says:

    Careful you don’t spill Guinness over the Louis the X1111′th upholstery.

    • 97
      barefootcontessa says:

      My derogatory comment about Guido’s crappy Louis XV chair has been moderated. Somebody must be feeling over sensitive?! His horribly stiff red roses are awful too. Where are the lovely flowers of Provence?

  24. 33
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    P*kistan players should be charged with fraud , Nice to see the P*kis claiming innocent until proven gulity ……. The irony

    • 38
      Paddypower says:

      What’s the odds on them completing the series?

    • 39
      Burn Nazi Party says:

      Fuck of u racist Hunt!! How do u think Gower is so rich? He was in with betting scams most of his career when he was captain of England!

    • 40
      Burn Nazi Party says:

      Fuck off u racist Hunt!! How do u think Gower is so rich? He was in with betting scams most of his career when he was captain of England!

    • 47
      Sir William Waad says:

      Well, they were wrongly accused of ball-tampering by Darryl ‘Mad March’ Hare a few years ago. I don’t think we can jail people just because some hack fron the News of the Screws says we should.

      • 67
        concrete pump says:

        Pakistanis here and in Pakistan seem to think the cricket team is guilty, they are aware their own country is completely corrupt.

        The NOTW just printed some colour pictures so that 8 year olds could understand.

      • 76
        streamfisher says:

        Ball-tampering seems to everywhere at the moment.

      • 77
        barefootcontessa says:

        Corruption has invaded all sports including the great god football.

  25. 41
    Sir William Waad says:

    That’s “déjà vu” in Frog.

    When the same pot of mustard keeps appearing on the table, that’s “Dijon Vu”.

  26. 44
    Mark Iliff says:

    Gods you’re a conceited arse, Guido! It’s OK to skip the occasional post – barely 1 in 5 is worth reading anyway, and on this story 0 in 5.

    It’s not OK to be a boor to your guests or an embarrassment to your spouse.

  27. 46
    Unsworth says:

    Completely O/T but apparently Steven Hawking says that God did not create the Universe.

    See, I knew all along it was that Gordon Brown who did it, so it’s his fault after all.

    He’s got a lot to answer for.

    • 54
      MI7 says:

      I think it’s Richard Dawkin who’s said that God didn’t create the universe. Essentialy hwat he’s saying is the universe, consciousness and the 4+ dimensional reality we exist in came into being by accident.

      • 87
        concrete pump says:

        Dawkins is a twat. Everyone knows the universe was created by a big bearded dude, floating on a cloud, who likes to cause trouble, did it all in 6 days too.

        Perrraise him!

        • 116
          Anonymous says:

          Concrete Chump both Dawkings and Hawking are of the belief that something came out of nothing. THAT I find hard to believe.

        • 125
          Bonobo says:

          Where was the builder’s yard?

          • Anonymous says:

            The Builders yard would be presumably the region that the big bang universe banged or expanded into. But Science tells us that such a region region didnt exist. We are told we just have to accept this as they cant explain it. And I thought it was just the church had the monoply of avoiding the nitty gritty.

      • 99
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        try google. today’s news. perhaps better with a ph in his name.

      • 129
        Sir William Waad says:

        Hawking is too wise to say such a thing. He said (I won’t attempt the accent) that he didn’t believe that God created the Universe. He understands the difference between science and fundamental beliefs.

        From a scientific point of view ‘God created the Universe’ is a non-explanation, since it is not something we could test and doesn’t explain the matter in terms of something else that we already know. From a philosophical or religious point of view, however, it’s unsatisfactory just to say “we don’t know why the universe goes to all the trouble of existing, or why it is just right to give rise to what we flatter ourselves is ‘intelligent life’, we just dunno”.

        Hence people such as Dr Dawkins attempt to found a belief system on not having any beliefs, which is ingenious but futile.

        • 137
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          I thought he was actually saying “buy my book”

        • 193
          Anonymous says:

          But Science itself still leads to a dead end as it cannot explain how something came out of nothing. It cannot replicate such a process and in the end it has the same difficulty as religions have when faced with the question but where did “God” come from. Some of Sciences current theories on multi dimensional universes etc are Just as crazy and incomprehensible as the doctrine of the Trinity perhaps even more so. Of course folk like Concrete Chump cant be expected to look at these things to deeply, he just believes whatever he hears on the Discovery Channel.

          • concrete pump says:

            Nice assumption, dickhead. You know nothing of what i believe or don’t believe.

            You sorry fool.

    • 59
      streamfisher says:

      Your confusing the big bang with the great bust, oh! that sounds like something else entirely which Steven can only dream about.

  28. 55
    Sandra says:

    What’s your bedtime reading on holiday? The Bliar book, or the new Chris Mullin diaries (much better) or the latest gay romance title?

  29. 56
    Guido 1 Tory Trolls 0 says:

    Site hits are gonig through the roof.
    I guess you’ll have to cry in vain tory trolls.

  30. 63
    McBride says:


  31. 83
    Ander Pants says:

    Obviously, Hague’s reaction indicates that there is more to the story than has been revealed. Any reporter worth his salt will get to the bottom of this. This is a case of “the Minister doth protest too much”. Why was there a need for the Special Adviser to resign simply because of rumours about his employers sexuality? Why didn’t Hague simply threaten to issue slander/libel proceedings? If he is gay, why is Hague compelled to give the illusion of a happily married man? Is being gay considered unsavoury in modern politics? Was public money used to employ the Special Adviser, if indeed his only qualification was that he was Hague’s lover? We await these answers.

    • 86
      barefootcontessa says:

      Where was the lovely Ffion during the election?

    • 93
      who's fault ? says:

      Why did the Spad quit and not Hague ?

    • 152
      Dick Robinson says:

      Yes, resigning over “false” allegations never looks good and only invites more scrutiny.

    • 156
      jgm2 says:

      A reporter? Worth his salt? In the UK?

      You’re having a laugh incha?

      Blair states in his book that he warned Brown in 2005 that the economy was boiling over and Brown responded by cutting interest rates to buy the election. Why aren’t these reporters camped outside Brown’s house asking him why he fucked the economy up just to spite Blair and buy an election?

      Why aren’t they outside Blair’s house(es) asking him why he didn’t just sack the economy wrecking lunatic when it became obvious he was insane?

      Folk are speculating Hague is emphasising the personal and wifely distress at the ‘gay’ angle to repudiating the stories in order to avoid the trickier ‘why hire this fucker at all’ angle. What about the Brown ‘wipe that fucking Blair off the headlines before anybody starts asking difficult questions’ angle.

      Just saying.

      • 171
        Archer Karcher says:

        Very accurate summation too, may I add.

        • 305
          Susie says:

          Of course jgm2.

          Shame Guido seems to have fallen for Labour diversionary tactics… the very day they were electing their new leader too. They’re till playing the press/blogsphere like a fiddle.

      • 218
        jgm2 says:…

        ‘Tony Blair: We should have addressed deficit in 2005′.

        • 236
          Sarf of the River says:

          Why didn’t they then? Too busy fighting each other I suspect. I hope Blair and Brown die a painful death and soon.

          Where is my fucking refund?

          • jgm2 says:

            Perhaps some FOI requests regarding correspondence between (say) Blair and Brown and the treasury at this time might highlight some internal Treasury memos that Gordon chose to ignore.

            A job for a ‘reporter’ I feel. If we had one worth the name in the UK.

    • 267
      carovil says:

      Obviously, Hague’s reaction indicates that there is more to the story than has been revealed. Any reporter worth his salt will get to the bottom of this. This is a case of “the Minister doth protest too much”. Why was there a need for the Special Adviser to resign simply because of rumours about his employers sexuality?
      You’re right mate.

  32. 85
    barefootcontessa says:

    Ed Balls stirs it. Poor Balls and Cooper, not.

  33. 88
    Hunch Back says:

    Gaido Fawkes, the Mrs is just a cover for your insatiable appetite for pork sausages and brown sauce. Nanananana!

  34. 98
    Thomas Knyvet says:

    Following the Guido Fawkes method, the majority of men in the world are gay. Are you going to go through the entire cabinet? I’d be amazed if there’s a man amongst them who hasn’t at some time shared sleeping accommodation with another man.

    Once you’ve done that, you could start on the forces. I understand they often share tents and barracks.

    • 101

      Conspiracy theory central:Tinfoil and coat hangers section says

      1} Well he’s a Northerner. Northern and Tory? Bound to be an iron isn’t he.
      2} He’s a bald man who wears a baseball cap. A baseball cap like George Micheal Enough said.
      3} He shared a room with a man. Well, I mean what more proof do you need?
      4} He’s married. Dead giveaway..
      5} The Tory conference is in Brighton, Pink city.
      6} If you look really carefully at the photo of William and Myers there is a shadowy man behind them with a grassy knob.
      7} His bald head, sometimes called a smoothie. And who drinks smoothies? Gayers.
      8} The real story is why is Moesad funding homosexual men? its all a conspiracy..The mafia is involved..Gay Mafia no doubt!

      • 109
        Hague's Ringpiece Spinners says:

        Hague slept in the bedroom with his young spad several times to make sure he didn’t steal his hat. Or get it brown.

      • 130
        2 Para Soldier says:

        1. Sweeping statement without basis.
        2. I am bald and wear a baseball cap (medical advice to protect from skin cancer). I am not gay.
        3. I agree a bit odd and an error of judgment.
        4. I am married and have been for 30+ years. My wife suffered a miscarriage. I am not gay.
        5. Brighton may be a so-called gay city but I would not describe Norman Tebbit or Ken Clarke as gay.
        6. Irrelevant.
        7. Irrelevant.
        8. Lunacy.

        • 175
          Judo Vague reading Wrestle Mania magazine says:

          BY ‘eck It’s getting stiff again, wheres Chris?

        • 217
          concrete pump says:

          Did you read the top of Bill’s post;

          Conspiracy theory central:Tinfoil and coat hangers section says;


    • 127
      Anonymous says:

      It’s a pattern of behaviour over at least twenty years though isn’t it?

      All the while presenting another face to the world.

  35. 103

    Ed Balls coming up on Radio 2 to talk about his leadership bid.
    He might appreciate receiving some calls from listeners.

    • 179
      Archer Karcher says:

      Forget it Quango, the Beeb will filter out any articulate and troublesome questioners. Only the tribal ZaNu and dim as fuck, will have an opportunity to test Ed Testes.

  36. 106
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    It must still be silly season

  37. 110

    “I say to you get wisdom: and with all thy getting, get decent spin”.

    Like Tony.

  38. 111
    bofl says:

    as the issue here is wasting tax payers money-

    why are there still 400+ criminals sitting in a safe house, formerly known as the ‘house of commons’, that have stolen £millions yet they are still seemingly above the law?

    why have they not yet been arrested and charged with fraud?

    couldn’t be that the politicos,judges,police etc are all in it together?

    pretending to ‘serve’ us while helping themselves to vast amounts of free dosh?

    shamabala at last.

    • 140
      Toilet Papers says:

      Wow! You can’t speculate on things like that, it could undermine the British way of life! Those that have and are can do anything regardless, while the rest of us are force to pay any price demanded regardless of responsibilities!
      Fuck ‘em all, on second thoughts many of them may well like the experience!!

  39. 112
    Jimmy Saville says:

    As it ‘appens, the UK’s centres of power, guys and gals are:

    1. BBC

    2. Church of England / Roman Catholic church

    3. Westminster

    4. Royal courtiers

    Now then, now then, what do they all have in common?

    Goodness gracious, How’s about that then!

  40. 123
    Anonymous says:

    Any reports yet of the Foreign Office and how it is coping with the loss of young Master Myers?

    • 198
      Senior FO Official, age 25 says:

      Complete meltdown, report on Turkey’s admission into the EU stalled. Aid programme to China and India faltering. Luckily, investment in sub Saharan Africa on track and millionaire despot dictators still getting paid. Afghan drug warlord money is still awaiting final confirmation from UN / EU.

  41. 126
    bumsniffer says:

    sniff sniff sniff…………..

  42. 128
    Adam Brace says:

    Happy now you malicious prick

    • 131
      concrete pump says:

      He’s on a beach in France, probably sucking a corona and topping up his sunburn, so of course he’s fucking happy.

      Do you think he’s checking his Blackberry every 5 minutes to see if people like you are still posting how horrified they are?

      Now zip up your mongpants and do one.

      • 314
        g1lgam3sh says:

        “Now zip up your mongpants and do one.”

        That alone made the price of reading this thread worth it. Stolen and smuggled to 3 others instantly.

    • 158
      World's Smallest Violin says:

  43. 132
    Student says:

    Spreads rumours, stirs sh*t, causes trouble, puts a married couple through hell, then sods off to the beach…

    And to think you took the moral high ground over Damien McBride, Guido.

    You’re just as bad as he is.

  44. 133
    concrete pump says:

    Learn how to punctuate, you fucking spastic.

    • 139
      Rita says:

      Shouldn’t you have an exclamation mark at the end of that response? knobjockey

    • 211
      smoggie says:

      You are such a bunch of grammarphobes and punctuationists! I’ve been a regular reader of this blog for 18 years but I think I’ll never darken its doors again.

      • 227
        Rita says:

        Isn’t there supposed to be a comma after “years”? Haha!
        I’m only messing around ‘cos I’m bored.
        Concrete pump started it with his/her comment at 134.They were being grammar Nazi, but they made an error also, I merely pointed it out.They made another one ar 2.08, it’s called a space, not a gap.

      • 228
        concrete pump says:

        My post @ 134 was a reply to a pedant earlier up the thread, but somehow it got dumped here in it’s own box.

        Fuckin’ mod.

        Funny post btw.

        • 273
          Rita says:

          The original post that u were replying to has been deleted by the mod, it seems.

          • Rita says:

            It was something along the lines of Hague getting the taxpayer to pay for his bit on the side.This is by far the worst type of ‘expenses’ fraud.

          • Anonymous says:

            The original post was this (it’ll get deleted again I’m sure)
            This thing makes me so angry, Hague has got
            the taxpayer to pay for his renboy.

      • 304
        Anonymous says:

        Good. Fuck off you dull Hunt

  45. 142
    Gordon Brown says:


  46. 143
    Puppet master says:

    CCHQ was on the phone i told them cash upfront or fuck off.

    Hence the poor quality of trolling the past few days.

    • 209
      Archer Karcher says:

      The CCHQ gay lifers and anti breeders have been a real disapointment, almost as tedious as the old ZaNu self rightious, self flaggelating prigs, but with less humour.

  47. 146
    Mr Splooot says:

    Let’s have some proper sober journalism here. Show us a photo of Emily Nomates’s tits.

  48. 147
    Archer Karcher says:

    LOL, the hate filled, “tolerant” pedant, just got you CP. Jeez, I guess the anger management classes, are not having the desired effect.

  49. 148
    John Prescott says:

    155,000,000 chicken tikka masalas please. And for my main, 230,654,127 Big Macs.

  50. 149
    Dick Robinson says:

    After the Ashcroft fiasco, not standing up to the EU in the way that he said he would and now this, I think Hague is pretty much finished as a serious politician.

    He may stay as Foreign Secretary for the foreseeable, but I don’t see him having any influence on anything. He’ll just be kept around like Prescott was by Blair to placate the grass roots.

    • 224
      Archer Karcher says:

      Except the grass roots have seen through him.
      Unlike Lard Prescott’s dimwit socialist grass roots, the Tory grass roots are rather more educated and insightful.
      Judging by the low level trolls sent here to defend his “honour” who in the main are not even tory, Hague’s supporters are pretty thin on the ground these days. A rat has been smelled and he is on borrowed time. Shame, if he had been honest and stuck to his original principles, who knows, he might even have succeeded lefty Camerhoon one day.

      • 243
        Anonymous says:

        Succeeded Camerhoon? Thank Christ he won’t be in a position to now. He’s more of an EU and muzzi lover than even the far left of lefty twats at the Guardian are.

  51. 155
    Barsacq says:

    “The French expect their politicians to be virile and have mistresses”.
    Not if their names are Jack Lang or Bertrand Delanoë. The French basically couldn’t give a shit who or what their politicians are shagging.

    • 246
      Archer Karcher says:

      The French are neither to be imitated or applauded. They are however, to be reminded.

  52. 157
    Facts says:

    I imagine the majority of new readers who’ve come to the site as a result of this story will see the mainly racist, homophobic and misogynistic comments and then quickly depart.

    • 163
      Racists, homophobes and misogynists says:

      There’s a lot of us about.

    • 164
      concrete pump says:

      How do u know most new readers aren’t racist, homophobic and misogynistic themselves?

      I’m only here to spout Homophobic comments

    • 168
      Albi Here says:

      Racist, homophobic and misogynistic,oh dear,get a life and stop trying to use big words,if you don’t like this blog no problem go elsewhere,if new people don’t like it well that’s life,they can go elsewhere,wouldn’t want to upset those little LibCon ideals now would we.

    • 172
      General McBrayer says:

      Not everyone here is some kind of -ist, i for one believe our gays are precious and should be protected.

      <iframe frameborder="no" width="480" height="270"

      No one must dare criticise a gay or expose them to any negativity, they are worth too mcuh.

    • 192
      ooh err, not anonymous says:

      With words like that I humbly suggest you usually infest the Grauniad’s shit fest of arseholes otherwise known as cif. A collective of public teat suckers if you will. The game is up sunshine.

      You sound like a rather pathetic limp wristed socialist too.

      Fuck off.

  53. 162
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Its just not cricket is it ?

  54. 165
    Tony Blair says:

    I have written a very clever book that reads as a ‘confessional’ but actually shows that I was right all the time, unlike that lunkhead Brown who got me deposed as Leader (serves him re he lost, yah yah yah!). I got the idea of a self-exculpatory confessional from J-J Rousseau and it, you know, worked big time for him as he’s still such a hero on the Left. And I feel SO sorry for those poor Iraqis. I never thought that, if I started a war, people would get killed!

    Any, please buy my book as it’s all going to charity!


    • 235
      Engineer says:

      Anybody watch Bliar’s interview with Marr last night?

      I did; can’t say I was impressed. I don’t think Bliar once said, or even implied, that the point of gaining power is to govern for the good of the country.

      He did admit that the hunting ban was a mistake (seem to remember a lot of people telling him that at the time). He did bang on about how much better the country was for his reforms (without giving any examples), and his regrets over Iraq.

      I shall not be buying the book.

      • 266
        It started in America says:

        It wasn’t meant for anybody in the UK It’s intended audience is in the USA.The fact that Bliar is also donating his advance/royalties to British Legion is also a load of bowcocks ! The man makes cash from personal appearances/lectures in the states not here This will do his earning power no end of good in America …”A True Friend of America and a Patriot,Ladies and Gentlemen…The Rt Hon Tony Blair!”

    • 249
      streamfisher says:

      Hmm, lets not forget Tony made sure he had 24/7security in place before he left office at a cost the state of £1 million a year ongoing, the hire of the shredding machine just before he left number ten was only about £300 quid claimed for on expenses of course, money well spent?

  55. 166
    On a sidenote says:

    Is Engineer about?

    Does anyone know if anywhere in the UK sells Aluminum hard hats?


    • 176
      Albi Here says:

      Some on Ebay but the import postage is half the price of the hat

    • 177

      TAT knows where to get tinfoil ones.

    • 189
      Engineer says:

      I’ve no idea, but I’d be faintly surprised if anybody did. Most of the (construction industry type) hard hats that I’ve met were made of a sort of hard plastic. No idea about military type helmets, or the motorcycle types.

      Aluminium would be an odd choice, I think. It’s quite a soft metal, though there are hundreds of aluminium alloys, some of which might serve. On a hot day, a metal hat would probably cook your head quite quickly, though.

      Erm – if it’s not a rude question, why do you need to know?

    • 221
    • 259
      Another Engineer says:

      What are you trying to protect your head from?

      Polycarbonate is probably better for impacts.

      If you want to block the mind control wavelengths, you can use wire mesh inside a normal hat. Microwaves only go down to about 1cm so a mesh with a smaller hole size than that would be fine. Radio waves are even longer.

      If you want to block x-rays, then I think you’ll need something heavier…

      • 270
        On a sidenote says:

        I’m sick of replacing the plastic ones, want a long lasting more durable one a friend said go for the Aluminum although Elf and Safety will probably pull my pants down if it is not painted…….yes because a layer of paint or colour of a hard hat is the all important crux between life and death on site these days……

  56. 167
    No need to do anything drastic to prove your straight says:


    • 183
      Pope's UK visit to cost up to £12m says:

      I thought it was that precious twat Dale.

      • 277
        Rita says:

        It’s no surprise the Pope gets mentioned when there’s a whiff of illicit homosexuality in the air.
        Maybe Hague should employ the Pope for PR-they been hiding this kind of thing for decades!

  57. 180
    uh oh... another one says:

    You are the wanker. You are obviously thick too and wouldn’t understand why.

    If I were you I would keep quiet!

    • 231
      Archer Karcher says:

      The wankers cant help themselves, why on earth do the cretins bother? The harder they try, the more stupid they make themselves look and just what is their average mental age? Jesus wept.

  58. 181
    jgm2 says:

    I’m beginning to think this could all blow over in favour of Hague in a similar way to the way Brown ended up getting sympathy over his slap-dash, ‘spontaneous’, badly spelled letters of condolence to war widows.

    A lot of folk out there have had problems with conception and miscarriage and will sympathise. A lot of folk have shared rooms on business trips with people of the same sex and will wonder what all the fuss is about.

    Unless or until somebody comes forward and states that they have had a gay relationship with Hague then I think public sympathy will come down very firmly on Hague’s side. And if the Tories can insinuate that the rumours were started by say, oooooh, some Labour nogoodnik with past form then the public will side very firmly with the Tories.

    I know the ‘real’ story is supposed to be ‘why is Hague hiring such relatively inexperienced people’ but that message has been lost.

    • 202
      Engineer says:

      Probably a bit of a mistake trying to get an answer to the “appointment of SpAd” question by linking it to sexual innuendo. Given the way the media, and a lot of minds, work, it was the latter that became the story. If Hague has been putting up with, and ignoring, whispers about his sexuality for years, as has been suggested, this episode may have prompted him to nail the speculation once and for all.

      Can’t really say I blame him. Years ago, when I was single and had been unattached for some time, some malicious work “colleagues” tried something similar on me, to try and professionally discredit me. It didn’t work, and cost one of them his job in the end, but being the subject of behind-the-back whispering and rumour for several months until I found out what was going on was absolutely vile. Hence my sympathy now for Hague.

      • 225
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        The sexual element is required to make it float as a “nepotism” story.

        And would have worked just as well whatever the sexuality.

        • 245
          Engineer says:

          Is it still justifiable is there is no sexual element?

          • sockpuppet #4 says:


            But it would be a rather dull story of croneyism and jobs for political friends.

          • Ed Balls. says:

            Croneyism, fake SPADS and jobs for political friends you say? While a safe seat is organised with a bonus pay-off from your tax-payer sponsored pretend job you say?


    • 210
      touchy pali says:

      Nice to see a proper post instead of all the liebour Listers slumming it on here !.

    • 241
      Anonymous says:

      If Hague doesn’t sue he’s toast.

      If Hague does sue he’s toast.

      • 255
        jgm2 says:

        Dunno. John Major sued some paper or other over stories he was shagging his cleaner and put them out of business. Did him no harm. Once Edwina broke cover it was too late to harm his political career.

        I reckon Billy will go for broke if any mainstream paper or blogger (with any seizable assets) suggests he’s telling anything other than the truth in his statement.

        It’s a full-on challenge from Hague. I think the papers will draw their horns.

        • 264
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          hahaha ha ha. I’d forgotten that.

          “I am not having an affair with THAT woman”

          • jgm2 says:

            Yep. Worked though. And Hague hasn’t settled for the ‘THAT man’ form of wording in his statement. He’s categorically denied EVER having had a gay relationship with ANYBODY.

            That’s a bold gamble if it’s not 100% true.

        • 272
          Anonymous says:

          Major sued three papers in 1993 over allegations he’d shagged a caterer.

          That of course was before Archer and then Aitken were jailed for commiting perjury in libel actions they’d raised.

          Can you see why Hague might be reluctant to sue?

          He might win the case but until his dying day he’d be a the mercy of something coming to light which could result in him being banged up.

    • 289
      the tory brown-nosers are struggling says:

      the taxpayer paid for Hagues bedroom buddy to the tune of at least £30,000 a year. possibly a great deal more

  59. 182
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I shall be on Hampstead Heath around 3pm. See you in the bushes.

  60. 184
    Conspiracy Theorist says:

    What experience did Sarah Schaefer and Madlin Sadler have before D. Miliband appointed them as his Spads? And was nepotism involved?

  61. 187
    Bullingdon Dave and his Bullying Right Hand Man says:

    Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap.


  62. 204
    Desperate Dan says:

    In an article in The Guardian on Saturday 10 ay 2008, David Hencke starts off:
    “Gordon Brown’s spending bill on special advisers has reached a record £6.3m, a rise of £400,000 since last July and up more than 40% since 2005……..”

    What is the Tory current spending?

  63. 206
    Bob S says:

    First up today, Guido’s daily papers round-up blog.

    Now, Guido’s travel blog.

    I used to like the political insight and scandal-exposing – but I suppose all good things must come to an end…

  64. 207
    Fffffffffion says:

    My husband, my cock!

  65. 212
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    This spad wont get 30k proberly a months wages , Compare thatvwith Gordon who left 4.8 trillion debt kinda puts it in perspective ?

  66. 219
    Ed Balls says:

    Fuck off you right wing turd,Guido

  67. 233
    Casper says:

    Sorry Guido but you’ve plumbed pretty low depths with this one. I normally find your habit of making a mountain out of a molehill amusing and am suitably impressed when you draw seemingly obvious conclusions from fractured pieces of media tat but on this one, you’re wrong. Not because I fervently believe Hague to be heterosexual and happily married but because you have created something out of nothing simply for your own pleasure and popularity. It is needlessly damaging and cruel and you are a lesser blogger because of it.

    • 258
      Andy Coulson says:

      I’ll remind you of those words after the tabloids do their bit over the weekend……

  68. 234
    Archer Karcher says:

    That’s a tough call, the drone is maxing out as it is. Any more pressure on Anonymongs “brain” may well be fatal.

    • 288
      Judo Hague and the Bedroom of Doom says:

      ‘appen I’ve shit t’ bed on this one
      my assistant will clean it up

  69. 239
    Desperate Dan says:

    There’s been a coup. The Labour Party has taken over BBC Radio 5.

  70. 244
    OiOi says:

    Just came from the Daily Mail piece about this.The comments are most surprising, a lot of people over there appear to be under the impression that Hauge is a good honest Tory, who puts Country and Britons first?

    Wonder why Hague didn’t shout a bit louder during the run up to the election about his passionate wish to hand out 100 Million new EU passports to those living in Turkey and the western balkans.

    Tory? More like The monster raving loony party.

    • 284
      Liblabcon scum says:

      No he’s Tory through and through.

      You see Tories don’t believe Britain is a real country with real people in it.
      No, it’s a company apparently – ‘Britain PLC’ they used to call it.

      So from that demented point of view, importing millions of immigrants is just a commercial proposition, a changing of the work force – i.e us.

  71. 274
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, just “off to the beach”, dear. No, don’t come looking for me. No, really, I’ll be back in a bit…

    But seriously, if you’re going to have a *secret* fling the obvious thing would be to get separate rooms, no?

  72. 278
    Kay Why says:

    Politicians should be vetted early

  73. 285
    Banlieue Blues says:

    I think you’ll find the car vandalising and carbeques generally happen in the more vibrant parts of France.

  74. 286
    Iain Dale says:

    It’s la situation, therefore your phrase should have been …situation was tres amusante. With an “E”.


  75. 292
    Gail porter says:

    Leave this honourable man alone fir gods sake

  76. 293
    Anonymous says:

    Substitute “Mandy” for “Hague” and you Tories would be braying for his blood. I’ve always been a big fan of Hague but he’s shown appalling judgment all round here.

  77. 294
    FagsRus says:

    Maybe explain to the “wife” that you were the one that decided to descend into the sensationalism that caused it? Bit like the game “knock down ginger” which you will evidently remember from your recent childhood, where you disturb someone then run away?

  78. 295
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Can’t you go drown in the pool pond life?

  79. 296
    Looner says:

    William Hague’s bald head makes me moist.

  80. 297
    Looner says:

    There’s a housing shortage, maybe there’s a room shortage.

  81. 298
    Steve Jobs says:

    Guido is using his Blackberry connection to blog from intermittently and the connection is intermittently crap.#

    At least it is not an iPhone!

  82. 300
    Students are pathetic says:


  83. 315
    angelnstar says:

    Mmm The French like their politicians to be virile. We need to talk about Boris.

  84. 316
    Robson S says:

    How about instead “Sorry Mrs Hague” as you will undoubtedly be made to write shortly?

    I met you once and told you i thought you were heroic and funny.

    I’ve changed my mind – you are unmitigated gobshite of a first rate Hunt – if you could allow that drink-sodden haze of yours to disappate for a day or two you might realise you’ve made a mistake here.


  85. 317
    chris says:

    Holiday what is a holiday!!!!

  86. 318

    If you really want to be lazy, you could try the new “Phone in your posts” feature from WordPress. Literally, pick up the phone, punch in a number, and poof! instant podcast. I may try it myself, as I am far too lazy to be doing much typing recently.

  87. 319
    l'annonymousse says:

    I was in Bordeaux this week too and nobody fucking phoned me – actually I’m wrong there, my Aussie mate texted about wine for her anniversary – so there!!!!

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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