September 1st, 2010

Blair Bashes Balls For Miliband

No surprises that Tony showers praise on his loyal heir David Miliband. A good spot by Andrew Sparrow who notes:

“Blair says that Miliband was “fundamentally uncertain” in 2007 about whether he wanted the top job. But Blair also says: “Two years later he would be a different calibre of politician, with clear leadership qualities.”

Blair says “two years later”. But we’re reading this more than three years later. Is that sloppy editing? Or does it mean that Blair thought Miliband should replace Brown in 2009, before the general election?”

No other leadership candidate gets anywhere near the support. Ed Miliband is merely seen as one of Brown’s “folk”. Pure venom is spat at Ed Balls. Along side talk of him “behaving badly” was this gem:

“He has guts and he can take decisions. But he suffers from the bane of all left-leaning intellectuals. As I have remarked elsewhere, these guys never ‘get’ aspiration”

The other two candidates are barely mentioned in passing. Blair admits he knew Brown would be a disaster and had David preparing for a leadership bid in 2007. Things would have been very different if the prodigy had found the courage…


  1. 1
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    One thing we can be sure of – Blair (and more particularly his missus) do ‘get’ aspiration. In fact there are no depths there wouldn’t sink to in their desperate desire to ‘get on’.


    • 9
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      Blair understands aspiration in the same way that the Brinks Mat gang did.


      • 33
        Read All About It! says:

        Professional conman and venal liar, endorses clone shock!


        • 87
          Pick a Blair, any Blair says:

          Nothing remotely surprising about this.
          We’ll just have 3 Blair clones in charge of each of the Parties to choose from at the next election.



        • 137
          The Grim Reaper says:

          Sorry guys but I couldn’t resist giving you all this laugh from Mills & Boons (I mean Tony Blaire Millionaires) biography. Squirm. Eeeech. Has the creep no shame. Well, no obviously…..

          ” that night she cradled me in her arms and soothed me; told me what I needed to be told; strengthened me; made me feel that I was about to do was right … On that night of the 12th May, 1994, I needed that love Cherie gave me, selfishly. I devoured it to give me strength. I was an animal following my instinct, knowing I would need every ounce of emotional power to cope with what lay ahead. I was exhilarated, afraid and determined in roughly equal quantities.”


          “Anji was my best friend. We had known each other since the age of 16 when I had tried climbing inside her sleeping bag at a party in the North-West of Scotland (without success!).

          She had looked after me at university, turned up in my life again when I was an MP and had been with me ever since. She was sexy and exuberant and used both attributes to devastating effect.”


          “We met [Tony and Gordon meet in a variety of clandestine destinations while carving up the Labour leadership in the mid-1990s] in the flat owned by the parents of my old girlfriend and first love, Amanda Mackenzie Stuart … And I loved the romance of meeting at Amanda’s. You know the first person you ever fall in love with; you know the incredible outpouring of desire, the overwhelming sense of something unique, inexpressible, inexplicable and even at points incomprehensible, but so thrilling, uplifting, your heart pumping and soaring? I was eighteen, in my last year of Fettes. She was the only girl at the school – the first, the experiment, and so chosen because she was the daughter of the chairman of the governors… I wasn’t afraid there, and somehow in some slightly odd way, in Amanda’s home, surrounded by evidence of her presence, I felt a confidence about the task in hand…”


      • 62
        Smig says:

        If I’d have thought of taking over the Liebour Party with the intention of feathering my nest with bazillions I’d have done it too.



    • 56
      Blair & Blair Estate Agents plc says:

      If that mong Balls is an intellectual I’m Albert fucking Einstein.


    • 61
      PM is no job for a coward says:

      so If David Miliband bottled it a year ago because he was frit of Brown and only now has the courage because Brown has gone. What does that Tell You about David Miliand man without courage?


    • 133
      Up sh1t creek says:

      The whole Labour leadership campaign is such a soap opera.


    • 141
      grumpy old bri says:

      I had to chuckle when listening to radio 5 this lunchtime. A “new” labour mp was most indignant when confronted with teflons “I lied, but for all the right reasons”, claiming that the new breed would be honest & forthright with the lowly plebians.
      She then went on to claim that she knocked on at least 10,000 doors during the election campaign.
      Lets say 5 mins per “knock”, 12 an hour, 40 hours a week (impressive)=480 it would have taken her 21 weeks, give or take! Shurely shum mistake!


      • 142
        Honest View says:

        Well spotted. There’s a lot of ludicrous claims which politicians slip in, especially leftie women. She, I thought, was especially predictable in saying what she thought were the right things.


    • 146
      Anonymous says:

      Yes I agree. Class act tho’


  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Whata disgusting excuse of a human being


  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Courage and Labour is a oxymoron surely?


  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    After thought : Guido what would happen if politics was clean , Honest and transparent ? You would have nothingto do and your blog would be redundent , So really you need the scum of westminster as it means sucsess for you , So where does it end ?


    • 6
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Do you think anyone is sad that smallpox has been eradicated?

      Oh, perhaps wilmslow anti vaccine loons.


      • 20
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        I was just wondering , What is the end game ? will politics always be coruppt ? Will there always be a need for a Guido Fawkes type blog/info ? Guido needs the bent MPS for sucsess , If no MPS where bent and done nothing wrong is that what we hope for / Is that what Guido wants ? If that happens then the blog will die , Surely Guido doesnt want that or does he ?


        • 114
          Local Government Slacker says:

          Don’t worry. As long as theer are people as silly as you about, I am sure that the corrupt politicans will flourish.


        • 143
          Honest View says:

          That’s like saying that cops shouldn’t chase the bad guys in case they eradicate crime and lose their jobs.
          Ain’t gonna happen.


    • 28
      Engineer says:

      BB, I suspect that Guido would be delighted if politics became clean, honest and transparent. He would probably trot off to the city to concentrate his talents on eeking a living by speculating in the City, happy with a job well done by this blog and others.

      Given the weaknesses of human nature, especially among those humans attracted to politics as a career, I rather suspect that Guido’s (and others’) blogging talents will be needed for many a long year exposing their dodgy dealings.


      • 31
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        And thease men and women are meant to be the best and brighest and best educated and they dont get the simple fact dont fuckin lie ? o steal or cheat ?

        I sometimes wonder about there intentions and what we expect from them its almost as if they are from different planets or they are created in labs and sheilded from real humans for 30 odd years then plonked in parliment .


        • 39
          Engineer says:

          I think that in fairness to many in the world of politics, there are people of intelligence, honesty and integrity – probably the majority. Consider the likes of Frank Field, Ann Widdecombe, Ming Campbell – even Margaret Thatcher. We may disagree with what some of them say or do, but they clearly hold their views sincerely. It’s just one of those sad facts of life that some people are more devious and duplicitous in their dealings. Happens in all walks of life – I’ve seen enough of it in my professional life.

          The only way to counteract it is for decent people to carry on fighting it in any way they can. Don’t let the bastards grind you down.


          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            The bastards will never grind me down , I just hoped new parliment new ways , But its just the same but with different faces .


          • ST says:

            I believe most politicians have sincere desires which they genuinely believe are for the best. It is not sincerity which is lacking, it’s integrity.

            But I agree with the broad thrust of what you say.


          • Sir Everard Digby says:

            If only that were true. Of the self serving gits it has been my misfortune to meet:

            1. paid a visit to the office where I used to work; A buffet lunch was provided for all staff and the Minister. His schedule ran late so he did not turn up. Cost of lunch – 2 grand for a few cheese straws.

            2. Similar twat who phoned me on the emergency desk when I worked for an electricity supply company during the big blow of 1987. His request ‘ get my lights back on now if you want to keep your job’

            3. Dim idiot who did an inspection of parading troops,of which I was one. I’m in full kit and he asked me ‘what do you do?’ The reply ‘I am a fucking ballerina’ sprang to mind.

            They are all arrogant dickheads who think they have a right to rule the country and do as they please and no-one can tell them any different.


        • 76
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          you might note that British politics now is cleaner than many other countries, and other times.


      • 48
        ST says:

        As long as people think there idea is better than another’s such things will go on under the mantra that the ‘the ends justify the means’.

        It’s understandable, but not moral, and so they must be held to account.

        The conviction that your ideas are better than another’s can, unchecked, lead down some very dark roads towards tyranny.

        This is why conservative and libertarian thought appeals to me. Conservatism mistrusts the grand scheme as unworkable and against the grain of human nature and the pursuit of libertarianism cannot, by definition, lead to the erosion of the individuals rights.

        That’s not say libertarians cannot be tyrants, I’m sure the human capacity for mental gymnastics would allow room for a libertarian to ‘protect freedom’ by say purging the country of socialists. But it would be doctrinally unsound, which is not the case in other schools of political thought.

        May have gone both a bit OT and OTT there.


  5. 5
    Brokeback Ilkley moor Hague says:

    I would love a good showering from a pair of Balls


  6. 7
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a BBC legend but not as big as a BBC legend as Saint Tony .

    Ps More money for the BBC so they can employ top talant like me .

    Ker Ching !!!!!!


    • 46
      Simon "the Kop Chef" Rimmer says:

      Ker-plunk more like.

      You cack-handed tosser that couldn’t get it up for Helen Chamberlain.


  7. 8
    Well hung Wille says:

    Tony, is it really that big, have him washed and coated in honey them send him up to my room.


    • 117
      Swamp Creature says:

      ‘After Gordon had given me a hard time, I used to like to retire to the sofa room with a bottle of Scotch and a jazz mag. One night, who should I find in the centre-fold but my old flame, Audrey Wise. Bangers like zeppelins, she had. And she was a lady. Not arf. The only bit of Old Labour totty that drew the line at gnawing the nana.’


  8. 10
    on Brokeback Ilkley moor bar snatch says:

    By the time any of you lot pass on these rumours you will all be dead
    I control MI6


  9. 11
    Mr Politically Incorrect says:

    Why can’t Blair, Brown and Balls all get cancer? Horrible thing to wish on a fellow human being, I know. Just as well they’re not human beings.


  10. 12
    Slotgob says:

    Hi Plebs! I aspire to own 100,000 pairs of designer shoes! I’m halfway there!


  11. 13
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Tony Blair: Gordon Brown had ‘zero’ emotional intelligence.

    That much?


    • 23
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      I do hate the concept of “emotional intelligence”. It always makes me think of folks who think they’re great and see people around them only from their own vain point of view. I’ve never heard a bloke use the phrase seriously before. no surprise then.


      • 35
        Gonk says:

        I’m very sorry I used it once at a college
        course a few years back. As soon as I said it
        I felt a right Quisling. I’m like a 100 a day
        quitter now, vicious when I hear it.


    • 25
      T'Beast of Ilkley Moor says:

      He was in emotional negative equity and needed some nice quantative easing from lord fondle bum


    • 45
      Anonymous says:

      “zero” emotional intelligence. Is that similar to “zero” growth ?


    • 49
      Anonymous says:

      Is zero emotional intelligence just a fancy phrase or sayng someone is a right horrible C UNT ?


      • 57
        South of the M4 says:

        I think it means empathy. But this is NuLabour. Why use one word that everybody understands when you can use consultancy speak.


      • 79
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        Its supposed to mean Insenstive and unable to guage other people’s emotions or react appropriately to it. Thats astonishing for a politician, but you can imagine it doesnt really matter for someone with technical skills etc.

        I’d suggest thats not as bad as “stubborn and blinkered” – the bit that makes Brown a nightmare.


    • 69
      Sir William Waad says:

      Tony’s problem is that he only has emotional intelligence – no other kind. He can use it to manipulate people but he has nothing useful to achieve by doing so.


  12. 14
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Does Blair pay full uk tax ? is that why he is not coming to England ?


    • 53
      smoggie says:

      You need to be a tad more specific: VAT; income tax; capital gains tax; NIC? He’ll ceratinly pay some of them if not all. I would certainly hope all, given the amount the taxpayer is paying for his round the clock security.


    • 67
      Some Journey - Thanks Tone says:

      Surely you are not intimating that he is a non dom? I mean that is only Right Wing multi millionaires isn’t it? Ah………..


    • 75
      BBC says:

      We don’t talk about that (unless he joins the Conservative Party)


    • 116
      Lord Ashcroft says:

      What a cun’t


  13. 15
    Anonymous says:

    Or to put it another way he lacks —–!


  14. 16
    Dobby says:

    The kiss of bloody death imho. I’m glad my name’s not Milliband.


  15. 17
    Gordon Brown says:

    Look at me
    I’m a tree
    I’m as happy
    As a tree can be
    With a knick knack paddywhack
    My botty likes a bone
    And my withered old cock
    Needs a home


  16. 19
    Desperate Dan says:

    Does he says anything about the ridiculous Cherie?


  17. 21
    Ffion broken Ilkley Moor ba twat says:

    High time that my husband came out of the Westminster village people


    • 74
      Smig says:

      Bald Tyke! There’s no need to feel brown!
      I said Bald Tyke get yourself round the town!
      I said Bald Tyke, ’cause you’re bumming around,
      There’s no need to be spacky!

      Bald Tyke! There’s a place you can go!
      I said young man! When you’re short of a blow!
      You can stay there! And I’m sure you will find
      Many ways to have a gay time!

      It’s fun to bum in S-W-1-A!
      It’s fun to bum in S-W-1-A!


  18. 26
    concrete pump says:

    “But he suffers from the bane of all left-leaning intellectuals”.

    That he believes Balls is an intellectual has got to be the funniest thing i’ve read this morning, other than Ian Dale getting his thong in a twist.


    • 32
      Engineer says:

      CP – Bliar WROTE that Balls is an intellectual. That doesn’t mean he believes it.


      • 38
        HandsomeDavid says:

        If you pay a fool the compliment of being an intellectual then he does not comprehend the content in which it is said. He sees only the word “intellectual” and not the greater meaning of the content.


  19. 27
    Cherie B Liar says:

    Hi Plebs! I’m rich and you’re not! Ha ha!


  20. 29
    johnny says says:

    Given Blair’s careers in law and politics it will be impossible to separate back casting fiction from reality.


  21. 30

    This is totally not twue. I am the weal heir to Blair. And there’s only one person who is allowed to bash my balls


  22. 34
    barefoot contessa says:

    Four blokes are having a chat in a church and beside them sits an old woman.

    The first man says, “My son is a priest and when people see him the say Father.”
    The second says, “Well my son is a bishop and when people see him they say Your Grace.”
    The third says, “Hah, my son is an arch-bishop and when people see him they say Your Eminence.”
    The four then says, “Yeah, well my son is the pope and when people see him they saw Your Holiness.”

    They then turn to the old lady and ask, “Do you have any kids?”
    “Yes,” she replies, “I have a daughter who’s in her mid-twenties. Gorgeous girl, great tits, perfect ass and when people see her they say My God.”


    • 44
      Engineer says:

      It would be good to see the real barefootcontessa back and posting again. In the meantime, invent your own screen-name and stop pinching other people’s.


  23. 36
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dont worry in ten years we will be saying similiar things about Dave .


  24. 37
    Rob says:

    Ed Balls is horribly disadvantaged on the www. His natal name is constantly reviled as spam. Paste his ballsy sire into any political forum where he is pitted against less pithy political protagonists and you will deduce he is unfairly spammed for the testosterone he evinces clear standing above others to take up the Labour leadership role. Shame! Shame that the www castrates the guy with a potent political signature against the rivalry of two siblings, for example, whose haven’t dropped?


    • 41
      Rob says:

      Ed Balls is horribly disadvantaged on the www. His natal name is constantly reviled as spam. Paste his ballsy sire into any political forum where he is pitted against less pithy political protagonists and you will deduce he is unfairly spammed for the testosterone he evinces. He has such obvious standing above others to take up the Labour leadership role. Shame! Shame that the www castrates the guy with a potent political signature against the rivalry of two siblings, for example, whose political testes have still to fully drop.


  25. 40
    Cherie B Liar says:

    My mouth is nice and big for taking in big things. Like Tony’s c…ash. Yes, he loves to stuff $100 bills in my gob.


    • 59
      Donkey Dong says:

      He told me that you’re like a funnel.

      Wide gaping mouth at the top reducing in diameter to a tight, dry spigot at the other end.


  26. 42
    Anonymous says:

    SHOCK: Princess Diana was Manipulative !

    I dont think I can take much more of these earth shattering revelations.
    My World view is in tatters.


  27. 43
    Don't you DARE make fun of my Labour and my Gordie! says:

    I wuv dem! Dey make my liddle winkie hard. Splooot.


  28. 58
    Eileen Critchley says:

    Blair and now Clegg are closet Tory wets.

    They pay lip service to exotic policies but deep down they are and always will be middle class white kids with a conscience.


    • 64
      Hugh Janus says:

      “They pay lip service to exotic policies but deep down they are and always will be middle class white kids with a conscience.”

      For all their faults, they are still worlds away from these self-regarding, two-faced, profligate and incompetent socialist bastards then.


    • 85
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      Not so much a conscience, more of a guilt complex, well hidden. By his actions, Blair is one of the most amoral men who has ever walked this earth. It is quite feasible that he became a Catholic because “Brussels was worth a Mass”.


  29. 63
    Bob Geldof says:

    I dont care , Just give me the fucking money !


    • 65
      Smig says:

      I’ll put my hand in my pocket when you put your hand in yours. You scruffy, emotional blackmailing, little parasite.

      If you send Bono around on the beg again he’ll be getting more than a broken back.


  30. 71
    Tony & Cherie says:

    We’re in the money,
    We’re in the money;
    We’ve got a lot of what it takes to get along!
    We’re in the money,
    The sky is sunny;
    Old Man Depression, you are through,
    You done us wrong!

    We never see a headline
    ‘Bout breadline, today,
    And when we see the landlord,
    We can look that guy right in the eye .

    We’re in the money
    Come on, my honey
    Let’s spend it, lend it,
    Send it rolling around!


  31. 72
    Caz says:

    He want milibliar to win does he?

    Let’s see , oletone admitted that he persistently lied, during the north+rn ir+land talks, that he’s ‘beyond compassion’ when it comes to the deaths in the wars he caused and that he was angry that chilc+tt dared to question his integrity.

    Yep maybe the labour party deserve another one just like him although I’d like to see them with milibrown instead.

    Either one of the militwit brothers are going to be a disaster for labour and they deserve every minute of it. Very entertaining.


    • 108
      Tony Cameron the Heir to Blair says:

      Blair’s mini-me Tony Cameron grovels at the feet of his Hero

      Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
      and everything I would like to be?
      I can fly higher than an eagle,
      ’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.


  32. 80
    Sir William Waad says:

    My caption for the photo:

    “Slick & Slicker”


  33. 81
  34. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Gives Balls a bashing-bit like bashing a dead sheep.


  35. 92
    Blair's Cash for Honours says:

    The reptilian greaseball Blair and his nancy boy Mandelson are the ones really responsible for Labour’s downfall. The rot was set in long before Brown became PM – he simply pushed it a bit faster.

    Blair is a proven liar, a warmonger, a hypocrite and one of the most untrustworthy deceitful men in politics (apart from Mandelson). He’s as straight as a dog’s tongue and his main purpose in life these days is to make as much oney for himself and his foul wife as he can.


  36. 94
    Anonymous says:

    Little Tone’s greedy arrogance should just about finish off any chance Banana Man had left.Nice one Tone!


  37. 96
    Desperate Dan says:

    Tony and Cherie will both go to hell for their crimes -unless the Catholic Church is still selling absolutions.


    • 103
      Pope "cover up" says:

      I’m sure getting absolution from a Pope who covered up ped0s must mean something to someone


    • 134
      A Left Footer says:

      Absolution only “works” if the penitent is truly sorry for their actions. They may be able to con some old priest but not the Ulitmate Judge.


  38. 104
    P. Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    All I would comment on Saint Tony’s book is that it is clearly a turgid rodomontade written by a mountebank. Unlike my own blockbuster blockbuster.


  39. 106
    Rob's uncle says:

    Re ‘ . . if the prodigy had found the courage . . ‘ – ‘protégé’ surely?


  40. 110
    Pater Watt says:

    Did Labour ever repay the unlawful donations/loans paid by Abrahams?


  41. 124
    T'Beast of Ilkley Moor says:

    Dave Millicantmakeanyseed would be an Ideal Labour Leader

    And has to go t’USA for his shopping


  42. 129
    Desperate Dan says:

    Blair drank half a pint of shandy in the evening. Oo-er.


  43. 130
    Jimmy says:

    You’re overreaching here I think. You should probably stick to the gay sex stuff.


  44. 136
    William Hague ate my sausage says:

    So genius is 1% inspiration and 99% arsepiration, according to Blair. And left Nazi fags don’t get arsepiration.


  45. 139
    50 Calibre says:

    The two things I really don’t like about Bliar is his face…


  46. 140
  47. 144
    Acromac says:

    Echoes of Portillo, ca 1995, and telephone lines?


Seen Elsewhere

Speaker Bercow Defeated | BBC
Nigel Farage is Bigger Than Jesus | Speccie
Year of Sleaze | City AM
Top 10 UKIP Donors | London Loves Business
Tory Candidate Leaflet Blooper | Get West London
Why Aren’t Middle Class Voting Tory? | Sun
UKIP Do Not Have Monopoly on Fruitcakes | Danny Finkelstein
Ed Must Stop Dithering | Mary Riddel
Ed Cannot Rebuild Trust From Westminster | Rafael Behr
An Open Letter to Russell Brand | "Jo"
Merry Bin-Mas From the Greens | Speccie

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Labour insiders turn on Ed over Powell’s latest gaffe:

“When is he going to stop promoting useless people? He was warned about her.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,641 other followers