August 26th, 2010

Question to Balls

Guido is off to watch the death throes of Ed Balls’s leadership campaign over at Clifford Chance where he is doing a Q&A at 18:30 with Steve Richards. Tomorrow morning he is also giving  a speech at Bloomberg at 08:30. Both will have questions from the floor so you never know Guido, or an audience ally, might just get the chance to make Blinky squirm at one of the events.

What would you ask?

Questions in the comments please…


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    I suppose WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FUCKING Hunt? is too predictable?

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Did you unleash the forces of hell on Darling

  3. 3
    New Labour, New Sophists, same old shit says:

    Where is your wife ?

  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Why do you think you are so unpopular in your own party ?

  5. 5
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Who is the greatest cricket umpire ever ?

  6. 6
    Bob says:

    Do you know where Morley is?

  7. 7
    Question for Blinky says:

    Can you please kill yourself?

  8. 8
    Question for Blinky says:

    Wrong question. Should be: Why are you such an evil Hunting fucking Hunt?

  9. 9
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    How close are/where you and Damian Mcbride ?

  10. 10

    In the event your leadership bid is successful would you consider an old friend, mentor and ex-Prime Minister for a shadow cabinet post, and if not, hy not, bearing in mind he’s no novice this time?

  11. 11
    Rags says:

    What’s it like having the surname Balls?

  12. 12
    Lord Palmerston says:

    I am a Conservative voter. I – and every other Conservative voter I know – is backing your campaign. What do you think that says about you?

  13. 13
    BoJo, jnr says:

    Are you my daddy?

  14. 14
    Question for Blinky says:

    Who gives better head, Yvette or Bryant?

  15. 15

    Have you ever told a lie?

  16. 16
    p45 says:

    Why did you change your name to Balls, from Balls Up.
    And is Annette Cooper realy a bloke,in drag.

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Exactly what aspect of bullying first attracted you to Labour politics?

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Get the mic to ask a question and just laugh in his stupid face till he claims that your laughter is only for the rich and hurts the poor.
    Then laugh some more until his (probably taxpayer funded somehow) thugs kick you out.

  19. 19

    Why do you wear such a gleeful expression on your face when you’re making spurious claims about the extreme pain and suffering poor people and families will endure at the hands of the Tories? Why do you not take families and the poor seriously, do you not care about them?

  20. 20
    william says:

    do you think it will assist the labour party’s chance of winning the next general election if gordon brown is a member of the shadow cabinet, yes or no?please explain the reasoning for your answer.

  21. 21
    Question for Blinky says:

    How many times a day did you have to give Brown his medication?

  22. 22
    HappyUK says:

    Who are more numerous, the living or the dead?

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Ask him if he understands why every Tory in the land wants him to win this election…..

  24. 24
    Prince of Darkness says:

    Have you learnt to “Love” Peter Mandelson + Chris Mullins ?

  25. 25
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Do you think Tim Lovejoy is a BBC legend ?

  26. 26
    concrete pump says:

    Were you bullied at school and why?

    What makes you think you represent the working class?

    Is Yvette a dirty whore in the sack, (yes or no, i don’t want any descriptions)?

    Have you ever rubbed a fiver on your arsehole and spent it in McDonalds?

    When are you going to fuck off and die?

  27. 27
    Question for Blinky says:

    If you lose, will you go into charity work like your friend Gordon Brown? Oh, wait…

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    Ed Balls and Steve Richards eh, That’s two boggle-eyed halfwits then.

  29. 29
    Dick the Prick says:

    Darling swatted him like a fly. Just give him my best, Guido, just give him my best support, bud!

    I reckon because the Liberals are taking the hit in local government circles that Labour may have a bit of a resurrgent streak in them and, yet, less than 15 months ago I was waking up wanking over killing Labour stone mudda fucking dead. Be careful what you fucking wish for, ah, fuckety fuck fuck fuck.

    But, yeah, give him my love, Guido bud.


  30. 30
    Lincolnshire Squire says:

    Do you regret saying, ‘So what?’ to the impact of the abolition of the 10p tax band on the poor?

  31. 31
    Tooth fairy says:

    Is it true that your wife had an affair?

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Love it!

  33. 33
    concrete pump says:

    What’s the speed of ‘dark’?

  34. 34
    Gonk says:

    Which area of the British countryside
    known for its natural beauty do you enjoy and admire?
    Or, which Dog fight double do you remember the best?
    My prediction is he’ll stumble over the first bit(Marxists
    don’t do aesthetic beauty) and he’ll probably not
    understand the second bit . Probably didn’t do normal kids stuff.

  35. 35
    streamfisher says:

    In the light of the debt of £4.8 trillion left by the last Labour government, what steps would you put in place to try put this country on a sound economic footing for the future?.

  36. 36
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Have you ever told the truth ?

  37. 37
    Richard says:

    The Labour Party aka New Labour lost the last election. Was this because they had a blinkered view of the progress you made in Education – Tony Blair’s 1st, 2nd and 3rd priorities?

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    Who, exactly, are you to whine about regressive taxes when it was your Labour government that doubled income tax on the poor?

  39. 39
    Irene says:

    1) What would you cut (and no bullshit about waiting to see how growth goes)

    2) And what underspend exactly was he banking on to fund the school building programme – what if there was no underspend, as that is VERY rare.

    (God how I hate that man)

  40. 40
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Why do you thing Labour always run out of other peoples money ?

  41. 41
    Selohesra says:

    Who with? – they must have had very poor taste – or was it Blunkett?

  42. 42
    jgm2 says:

    At what point did you realise that it was probably best to just write off the general election and start trying to hold onto your ‘safe’ seat instead?

  43. 43
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Does Damian regret knocking over Guidos pint ?

  44. 44
    jgm2 says:

    Why did you and 400 other Labour MPs just say nothing and sit on your hands while the imbecile Brown ban*ru*ted the UK?

  45. 45
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Stevie Wonder

  46. 46
    YokshireLad says:

    Mr Balls, why don’t you fuck off?

  47. 47
    lizzie says:

    Which shadow post do you think you are most fitted for when one of he militwits wins the leadership?

  48. 48
    Garlicjam says:

    And who is Annette…Yvette’s sister?

  49. 49
    scottish haggis says:

    Why are you such a fucking cock?

  50. 50
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    What makes you think that the country can afford nother labour goverment ?

  51. 51
    Garlicjam says:

    Do you know which way is “up”?

  52. 52
    Question for Blinky says:

    I would make him peace envoy to Afghanistan. I’d promise him the usual protection for ministers visiting dangerous warzone but have a message sent to him when he steps off the plane that no officers were available.

  53. 53
    Bono is a twat says:

    Come on, their music’s not THAT bad.

    Irish band U2’s first Russian concert was marred after police arrested activists from rights group Amnesty International before the gig began.

  54. 54
    Doggie Fashion says:

    Does Yvette take it up Trap 2? Does she suck well?

  55. 55
    Tax is Taxing says:

    Just how appalled and disgusted do you think labour’s founding fathers would be in the god awful mess you have inflicted on the British people… or dont you care as long as you can flip your mortgage.

  56. 56
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Do you think its wise to stand as leader with a unsafe seat ?

  57. 57
    pachebal says:

    Do you believe in a Judgement Day.
    Think carefully.
    How do you think you’ll do?
    Never mind, forget it – what we really want is one truthful answer for a change.

  58. 58
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Ed , when was the last time that you dressed as a Nazi and do you still have the uniform?

  59. 59
    Baroness Thatcher says:

    Would you support an independent investigation into the allegations of postal voting fraud in your consituency?

    If not, why not?

  60. 60
    Bye Balls says:

    Do you and the Labour party take any of the responsibility for the previous mismanagement of the economy, which has had a negative impact on all our lifes and how do you propose to tackle the deficit?
    How will you feel when you are the first the first to be kicked out of the leadership bid.

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Far too many questions CP, the blink rate would result in fascial muscle overload.

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe just, ‘Why are you so unpopular in your own party?’


  63. 63
    TV Critic says:

    no matter what, you won’t be able to beat this ……

  64. 64
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Do you support the use off goal line technolgy ?

  65. 65
    pachebal says:

    When you die, where do you think you’ll go?

  66. 66
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Ed, when you used to dress as a Nazi was it a Brown shirt costume?

  67. 67
    concrete pump says:

    Have you ever tortured a small animal?

  68. 68
    "Saint" Vince Cable says:

    Ed, tell us about selling the gold again? How did you know the price was right? Will you use the same technique to decide when to swap Sterling for the Euro?

  69. 69
    NBeale says:

    Would you be delighted if your wife were made Shadow Chancellor?

  70. 70
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Did the Russian linesman in the 1966 world cup final get it right ?

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Q- “Have you ever knowingly or even accidentally answered a question truthfully”?

  72. 72
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Have you ever been caught having a wank ?

  73. 73
    Benefit monkey says:

    “did he have any contact before, during or after the sale of British gold reserves at the lowest price possible …. against BoE advice ,with Goldman sachs ..?

    Did he take any consideration to their exposure (1000 ton )in Gold shorts when pre announcing the UK gold reserve sale to drive the price down to below sachs postion…?

    Does he now admit that sachs were the only real beneficiary from the reserve sale ?

    Does he now consider this sale of the reserves… financial treason ?”

  74. 74
    Ratsniffer says:

    Do you think that the fact that you come across as a smug, arrogant, sneering public school bully type has anything to do with your unpopularity?

  75. 75
    Blair's war says:

    I want this nutter to win, it will help Liebour no end to stay in the shadow of politics. During univeristy he supported the Tories when Maggie was at her height in politics, yet he now rants on about Maggie as if she was the devil. Presumably the affects of drugs converted him to Liebour. Perhaps if he becomes leader someone will enquire in depth about the Smith Institute and Balls involvement or not. Come on Nutter, I want you to win. You hate all right minded thinking people and have no time for the honest hard working souls of this country.

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Assuming that you could not only win the leadership, but also an imminent general election (caused by whatever reason), what limit (if any) exists in your view to the level of public borrowing that the UK could sustain? In answering, please give the reasons to expain why your considered level may be seen by the rest of the world to be realistic.

  77. 77
    Tapestry says:

    ‘Blinky’ is almost affectionate.

    His name is ‘loadof’.

  78. 78
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Ed is it true that you are ghost writing a book for herr Gorbals titled
    “im camp”?

  79. 79

    Didn’t you realise Blair was barking?

  80. 80
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Sorry. On different computer – above by me.

  81. 81
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    How many staff have you bullied?

  82. 82
    I'm a maffermatishan, me says:

    Two boggle-eyed halfwits = One boggle-eyed twit.

  83. 83
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Do you understand that private secter pays for the public sector ?

  84. 84
    Would you Adam and Eve it says:

    Me too God.

  85. 85
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    I have a video of your wife with 3 other men , Do you want to watch it ?

  86. 86
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Mr Pump that is both subjective and speculative
    What Guido should have ask is
    “Have you ever shoved the insides of a bog roll into your anus and then inserted a gerbil?”
    Then watch until his eyes fall out from shock
    IfI could be arsed getting up so early Id have pop at asking that one

  87. 87
    pachebal says:

    Google the definition of “Psychopath” and believe it

  88. 88
    notareargunner says:

    Blunketts’ dog!

  89. 89
    fagged@eton says:

    Ask him if it was good idea to allow six million immigrants into the U.K.

  90. 90
    smoggie says:

    “What is your position on postal voting?”

  91. 91
    Phil says:

    Is there any chance of you or anyone else from your party apologising, just once, for inheriting an economy in surplus and systematically turning the same into a fucking basket case over the course of the last 13 years?

  92. 92
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Do you belive in eugenics ?

  93. 93
    Mr Plum says:

    As Gordon’s economic advisor what advice did you give him on the selling of Britain’s gold reserves.

  94. 94
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Was it right to double the tax on the lowest paid , And if not why didnt you resign ?

  95. 95
    jgm2 says:

    Ned will just shout over any question the second you open your mouth with ‘Iif I could just finish…’, ”If you would just let me answer the question…’ while his thugs jumped on you and threw you out.

    Then he’d field a nice pre-prepared tame question just like the Maximum Imbecile used to do in his ‘meet the public’ set-ups.

  96. 96
    Doc Trough says:

    How many spots on Ellie’s arse? Is that muff maintained or free range and does the lad Yves join in or just watch and fiddle?

  97. 97
    jgm2 says:

    Ned, at what point did you realise Labour had fucked the economy?

    Was it in 2002 when Brown borrowed 3% of GDP and hid another 2% of the books in PFI? Was it 2003 when he did the same? Was it 2004 when he did the same? Was it 2005 when, fuck me, he did the exactly same…..

  98. 98
    laughing hangman says:

    Fuck off and let me shag you wife. I know it’s sick but someone has to.

  99. 99
    smoggie says:

    He was Azeri but the answer is NEIN anyway.

  100. 100
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Why did you , Mcbride , Draper and whealen decide to smear theTories ?

  101. 101
    Mr Plum says:

    Just been reading up about him on wiki, I dont think he’s the mug that we all take him for, even attended bilderberg. Seems the old man has a thing for animals in the last paragraph.

  102. 102
    Sir William Waad says:

    “How would you eliminate the budget deficit?”

  103. 103
    the last quango in paris says:

    - Why did you think it appropriate to prop up Brown when you had so clearly lost the election?

    – if you think you would be a better leader then the other labour candidates would you serve under them?

    – is yvonne looking for a job?

  104. 104
    Suffolk Punch says:

    Did you want to smash ‘brillo pad’ in the face when you appeared on weekly politics last month?

  105. 105
    soggy hamster says:

    Typical politician, he’d deny ever having done that with a gerbil.

  106. 106
    Tapestry says:

    Milibands have facial irregularities just like you do.

    Is this a requirement for Labour’s new leader?

    The Miliband Sneer.

  107. 107
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Good point, Doc. Ellie does have facial moles. The chances of her arse being similarly infested must be quite high. Yves will certainly be rubbing one out with her heavily wart infested member.

  108. 108
    the last quango in paris says:

    or, who is living in a parallel universe? you or us?

  109. 109
    smoggie says:

    They were probably seeking an amnesty for Bono’s outstanding tax payments.

    The fucker could wipe out Africa’s debt with a single cheque but he wants the rest of us to do it.

  110. 110
    BBC and Govt supression of the real news - bullshit to be broadcast instead whenever possible.... says:

    We are carrying out Labour policy to-day and giving blanket coverage of the misunderstood totally innocent Asil Nadir who did not steal all the money and only went on the run because he was misunderstood (Interviews at a price not to be disclosed at his Mayfair digs) This is of course allowing the immigration figures released to-day to be kicked into the long grass, we will not allow the fact that UK is totally overrun by immigrants, 350,000 “student visas” (more illegal stayers) also isssued. We are doing our job, we are following orders.

  111. 111
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    “….or, in the alternative how soon, given a fair wind, could you double it?”

  112. 112
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Have you found those pesky WMDS yet ?

  113. 113
    davemcwish says:

    Does your muse ‘Bevanite Ellie’ take it up the _ _ _ _ ?

  114. 114
    smoggie says:

    “When you and your wife are at one of your homes enjoying a second bottle of chardonnay, do you ever wonder what the poor people are doing?”

  115. 115
    Gooey Blob says:

    Does he honestly and truthfully think any of the candidates stands a snowball’s chance of winning the next election?

  116. 116
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    In the manner of Nagel, what is it like to be a cat?

  117. 117
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    No. When did you realise that Blair was barking? Let him squirm on the end of that fork.

  118. 118
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    What is your favourite colour ?

  119. 119
    the last quango in paris says:

    or, don’t you think it is a tad hypocritical to congratulate the camerons on the birth of their child given you were prepared to smear them?


    you promised billions of invisible money to pay for schools that now can’t have the money because of your terrible running of the economy – how does that work?


    when Yvette came home and casually mentioned over a spag bol that the defecit was running at a few trillion – why did you promise loads of money to schools and employ trillions of quangos?


    when did you last use your chill out room?

  120. 120
    Mr Plum says:

    All they need is a little toothbrush moustache

  121. 121
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Can you show me one country where socailisim has worked ?

  122. 122
    jgm2 says:

    Is Brown still being paid the same salary as ‘Leader of the Opposition’? Even though he’s not actually leading the opposition?

  123. 123
    English Heretic says:

    Firm but fair question.

  124. 124
    smoggie says:

    “Which of the Milliband brothers will you be supporting for the leadership of the Labour Party?”

  125. 125
    Wan Gok says:

    Did you get dressed in the dark or is that suit from poundstretcher’s summer sale?

  126. 126
    Genghiz the Kahn says:

    Is Brown receiveing treatment for depression, and is it double dipped?

  127. 127
    Genghiz the Kahn says:

    ” and which grade of rope will you need”?

  128. 128
    smoggie says:

    What is your view on the aerodynamics of the Nokia N100?

  129. 129
    the last quango in paris says:

    what do you think of the prize tosser who came out of court today and gave a nazi salute?

  130. 130
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Do think its right that a goverment takes half of someones wages?

  131. 131
    Tapestry says:

    Miliband D seems to be sprouting one. see link above.

  132. 132
    Tooth fairy says:

    Yes. But I’d rather forget about it. How did you find out?

  133. 133
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Which shadow ministry are you hoping for after the leadership contest?”

  134. 134
    smoggie says:

    Maths question: if annual income is twenty pounds and annual expenditure is twenty pounds ought and six, what is the result?

  135. 135
    Question for Blinky says:

    Why are you still stealing oxygen?

  136. 136
    Gordon Brown says:

    Thanks to my brilliant stewardship of the economy there were no lower paid. Everybody in the UK had an above-average income.

    I met Al Gore once, did I tell you?

  137. 137
    Gordon Brown says:

    Prudence and prosperity.

  138. 138
    Former bruised and battered No10 secretary says:

    Very good.

  139. 139
    smoggie says:

    Almost Gordon… no the result is Tory Cuts! Booo hiss………

  140. 140
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today, I will mostly be a tree.

  141. 141
    Rev. Cuntwatcher says:

    the spectacle of Edbutnoballs taking questions at Clifford Chance must have been an excellent …they would be tucked up listening to the arsehole pontificate on thinking how much they enjoyed the gravy train whilst Labour were in power and the chances of them supporting the wanker other than to guarantee opposition for the duration of his tenure less than nil.

  142. 142
    Her harm Rani? says:

    He is turning it into the greenhouse gas CO(subscript)2

  143. 143
    Gordon Brown says:

    Are you my carer? I’m still waiting for my fizzy orange.

  144. 144
    davemcwish says:

    What do you think was the cause of the collapse in the Labour vote in the constituency of Morley ?

    Supplementary Question:- What’s with this Co-operative Party lark ?

  145. 145
    jgm2 says:

    That’s good. Most days he’s total fucking plankton.

  146. 146
    the last quango in paris says:

    do you regret flipping your homes? do you still have two houses? when you sell the london house will you give the profit to the tax payer? do you claim two lots of eating expenses even though you live under the same roof? if your whole family travel up and down from london each week who pays for the travel?

    do you think you would have been awarded an A* in maths gcse?

  147. 147
    Yvette says:

    Wan G, is there any way you can make the fat fuck look good naked??

  148. 148
    Gordon Brown says:

    Yes. I deserve it.

  149. 149
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    What is the difference between light and hard ?

  150. 150
    An Alien says:

    Take me to your leader?

  151. 151
    Anonymous says:

    Blinky holds Morley on a mere 1,000 majority.If Dave and Nick bust open the BBCs monopoly on national and regional news, counter,strongly, Labs doublespeak ( this is essential,infact, this is of utmost importance ) and sort the country out – I’d say Balls is toast,for sure.Thats why Lab must bust the coalition,its their only hope and they know it.

  152. 152
    Steves' mum says:

    Gordon and I just take even more of the plebs money

  153. 153
    Gordon Brown says:

    I sing song
    Not very long
    And I like to play
    With my ding-dong

    My ding dong
    Feels very wronf
    I play with it
    All day long

  154. 154
    Cock Wan says:

    Perhaps. But I’m not sure we can ever make you look acceptable.

  155. 155
    Yvette says:

    He’s grown out of wearing that Nazi uniform. By several inches.

  156. 156
    the last quango in paris says:

    do you thik it’s fair that a bank it propping up the indebted labour party when other people are going bankrupt?

    when you see red on a statement do you understand that it does not mean that the sender supports the labour party?

  157. 157
    Bevanite Jelly says:

    Many times a day.

  158. 158

    His mother’s idea: so blame Elizabeth Swollocks.

  159. 159
    TosserWatch says:

    our ed comes over as a secondary school twat who wouldn’t last 5 minutes at a public school but apparently he did..perhaps he became a creep later in life having been mortally wounded by the shit he got as more than likely he was a meek little wanker who couldn’t fuck his way out of a paper bag but could snivel well to teacher…moronic doubletalking lying bastard

  160. 160
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    what drugs are you on ?

  161. 161
    Sir William Waad says:

    It’s the Morley and Outwood Show, starring

    **Max Morley** (mugs to camera, applause) and

    **’Outy’ Outwood**(mugs to camera, applause)

    Thank you ladies and gentleman – and the audience too, thank you – and now – what’s that Outy?

    Let’s talk Balls! Yes, it’s the Pharoah of Frivolity, give it up for ED BALLS! Take it away, Eddie….

  162. 162
    Gordon (he's really very cuddley you kno!) Brown says:

    I’d give anything for my lovely Eddy boy to win.

    That would ensure that I get back as Chance-A-Lor pdq.

    And then the UK back on course

  163. 163
    GrimeLord says:

    After 13 years of Labour rule why do so many scools still need building and essential repair?

  164. 164
    smoggie says:

    Dickie Bird, no question.

  165. 165
    smoggie says:

    When can we expect your slim volume of memoirs?

  166. 166
    Deus Ex Munchkin says:

    Any of the famous five will help keep Labour in the shadows, they are a troop of weirdos that will repel middle-ground voters. Go read the New Statesman endorsement of little Eddie – they are calling that odd weasel “charming”. The labourites are looking at themselves in a funhouse mirror that straightens out the freakshow at their head.

  167. 167
    Das kik says:

    I am your “Don’t give a fuck” bit I will gladly give you some chlormazapine®.

    (and there is a very good reason I deliberately mispelled it)

  168. 168
    Evadne Bollocks says:

    I take it any way I can to ensure my dear boy gets the comfort and relief he so desperately needs at this tense high point of his career.

    He gets so tense nowadays you know, and there’s only one way that I know of to bring him down!

  169. 169
    smoggie says:

    Sorry Gordy but that was Billy’s urine sample you drank last time.

  170. 170
    lola says:

    Beat me to it!

  171. 171
    amongymous says:

    From his point of view it was a good thing – more labour voters = more power for him and then later to cash in bigtime like Tony the war criminal.

    That it has destroyed an old culture, devastated some working class communities, lowered trust in politicians and helped the BNP massively is of no concern to Balls & Co.

  172. 172
    TosserWatch says:

    if you took your trousers down Mr balls we could hear you talk better

  173. 173
    Mr F. Ucker says:

    Because, like the crap they ‘teach’ (sic) and Noo-Lie_Bore itself, they are fucked, fucked, fucked!

  174. 174
    Question for Blinky says:

    Did Gordon ever do a jobby in the middle of a cabinet meeting?

  175. 175
    Engineer says:

    How would you encourage growth in the economy?

  176. 176
    smoggie says:

    ..and a Mallen Streak.

  177. 177
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Have you ever thought about suicide ?

  178. 178
    Question for Blinky says:

    What a joke. We have a right to know who these footballers are so we can enjoy their latest scandal.

    An England footballer has won a continuation of gagging order preventing the “misuse” of private information about him.

    The terms of the orders prohibit either of the footballers from being named.

  179. 179
    Mr Teacher says:

    Oy! I is a well gud teacher and fing.

  180. 180
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Economy was screwed by 2005,prudence got a run-out from 97 to 99 so it only took the scottish mong 6 years or so to Balls up what was then the worlds third biggest economy and one of its most stable

  181. 181
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Who has the bigger dick you or your wife ?

  182. 182
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:


  183. 183
    Curious Onlooker says:

    Mr Balls, is being a complete economic fuckwit a pre-requisite to be a Labour Cabinet Minister or do you have to practice daily?

  184. 184
    smoggie says:

    An England footballer..

    Well, that rules out Beckham.

  185. 185
    smoggie says:

    Not since Kelly nicked the classic textbook.

  186. 186
    John says:

    How important do you think it is to be popular with the public in order to be the leader of a political party?

  187. 187
    Peace & Love says:

    Do you agree with the idea that David Miliband winning the leadership would mean torture for yourself and the Labour Party? Ouch!

  188. 188
    John says:

    When you lose the leadership ballot who will you then switch allegiance to in order to protect what little career you have left?

  189. 189
    John says:

    If you lose the leadership ballot will you attempt to blame it on the Conservatives?

  190. 190
    smoggie says:

    Which do you think is the better hand cream: Anusol or Germoloids?

  191. 191
    Audemus Dicere says:

    Darrell Hair of course! The only one willing to stand up to the cheating of a certain “cricketing” country…

  192. 192
    Anon says:


  193. 193
    John says:

    What detailed actions would you take to at least balance the Government’s books within five years. Clue : You have a £160bn annual deficit to square off.

  194. 194
    John says:

    Why do you think you are so unpopular with the public? How will you increase your constituency majority at the next election?

  195. 195
    smoggie says:

    Why would he do that?

  196. 196
    Question for Blinky says:

    Why are you such a despicable sack of puke stained shit?

  197. 197
    Mark Oaten says:

    I have to use Anusol a lot.

  198. 198
    John says:

    Can you please ask your wife to stop appearing on television and radio interviews? She is dreadfully repetitive, dull and talks like we’re all three year olds. She also appears to have been to the Patricia Hewitt school of public speaking.

  199. 199
    Anonymous says:

    If so.How do you plan to keep your seat with a slim 1,000 majority in 2015 ?

  200. 200
    Dead spy says:

    I committed suicide by stabbing myself, dismembering my corpse, and putting the pieces into a duffel bag. Anyone who disagrees with this is a member of what Tom Mangold calls the barmy army of conspiracy nuts.

  201. 201
    smoggie says:

    Leave that shit to the Tories.

  202. 202
    Dr Patel says:

    The most determined case of textbook suicide I have seen since breakfast.

  203. 203
    Gordon Brown says:


  204. 204
    Nicholas Hunt says:

    I agree.

  205. 205
    Carina Trimingham says:


  206. 206
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Why are you a deficit denier ?

  207. 207
    smoggie says:

    Why did Shergar kill Lord Lucan’s nanny?

  208. 208
    purpleline says:

    Have you ever considered joining in with your wife in a spot of E- urolagnia
    and what are the remaining 5 tests to joining.

    Stop pissing yourself and piss on Yvette a bit more

  209. 209
    Ed Ballsup says:

    I do not deny that there is a deficit only that it is anthropometric, that is to say, it was man-made. Neither Gordon nor myself are real men.

  210. 210
    Mark Oaten says:

    Did someone say shit?

  211. 211
    Anonymous says:


  212. 212
    Sploot says:

    She was having an affair with Shergar’s secret lover, Margaret Beckett.

  213. 213
    Ed Ballsup says:

    Ellie is out now canvassing for the Tories.

  214. 214
    Fluffy Thoughts says:

    ‘Nuff zed.

  215. 215
    Labour Pride says:

    Everything is Thatcher’s fault.

  216. 216
    Ed Testes says:

    Don’t be howwible.

  217. 217
    Pickled Wizard says:

    regarding dog fights – ‘Do you still wear the nazi uniform, and did you buy airfix messerschmidts rather than spitfires when you wrer a kid?

    (methinks the uniform is to convince yvette its someone else…)

  218. 218
    Captain Obvious says:

    Why should we care about someone who was never going to win ?

  219. 219
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    How much do you think you would earn in the private sector ?

  220. 220
    Billyboy Hague says:

    Don’t let the buggers get you down Asil!

    Give them like I did and you can get them down as often as you like.

  221. 221
    Silent Bob says:

    ­ ?

  222. 222
    Bevanite Ellie's current shag says:

    That’s what you think.

    Just a little further down, Ellie. Good girl.

  223. 223
    Sploot says:

    Cat got your tongue? Don’t put it in a bin.

  224. 224
    smoggie says:

    Try polyfilla

  225. 225
    Private Sector says:


  226. 226
    Budget Lover says:

    Generally, a daily refreshing of the sawdust in the bottom of the cage is sufficient.

  227. 227
    Mark Oaten The Scat Man says:

    I don’t like white. I prefer brown coloured things. Like shhhhhhh….oes.

  228. 228
    Engineer says:

    I just wondered if he still thinks that the economy consists solely of the public sector.

  229. 229
    Gordon Brown says:

    Can I be elected leader again? And can I be elected prime minister again?

  230. 230
    Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    Well as a matter of course she normally looks like she’s got something wedged up her Hershey Highway, but the only thing she sucks is lemons judging by her habitual facial expression.

  231. 231
    smoggie says:

    Do you have any recommended treatments for chinese burns?

  232. 232
    smoggie says:

    There’s only one answer to that: PFIfle

  233. 233
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever! says:

    Are you as demented as Gordon ?

  234. 234
    Ewanme says:

    Blinky , honey .

    Are you jus tryin to wooo me by flutterin ur eyelids in my direction evry 2 seconds ??

    Ta .

    E x .

  235. 235
    smoggie says:

    Who do you think will be the next leader of the People’s Democratic Republic of Korea? a) Kim Il Son#1, b) Kim Il Son#2, c) Kim Il Son#3 or d) Wan Hung Lo?

  236. 236
    Fiddler On The Roof says:


  237. 237
    Ed says:

    Why were Labour so unprepared for the recession when other countries had surpluses? Did you really think that you’d altered the economic cycle due to your genius when you had no experience outside politics?

  238. 238
    Treason Thinly Carillon says:

    Are you able to say “Do you want fries with that?”?

  239. 239
    I Love Pennslyvania says:

    Hershey Highway!

    Love it!!! lol!!!

  240. 240
    Ed Ballsup says:

    Yes, Scotchland.

  241. 241
    Adecco says:

    Totally 100% unemployable in the real world!

  242. 242
    smoggie says:

    What did Gordon do with the gold?

  243. 243
    I Love Pennsylvania says:

    …I really must learn to spell the name of the greatest state of the Union.

    Serves me right for drinking so early!

  244. 244
    simon r says:

    If you were in power now – would you still be going forward with the schools building program and where would you get the money ?

  245. 245
    simon r says:

    Your wife is a vinegar faced, flat chested, condescending bitch.


  246. 246
    Anonymous says:

    Absolutely Brilliant question Damien

  247. 247
    simon r says:

    You and Yvette.

    David Millitwat and Ruth Kelly.

    What is it that makes Labour types want to shag ‘masculine’ women ?

  248. 248
    simon r says:

    What exactly is a 0% rise ?

  249. 249
    Ronnie says:

    what’s it like to have clueless obsessives caring about everything a loser like you does ?

  250. 250
    Anonymous says:

    Why bother?
    All you’ll get is the usual silly-talk.
    Don’t feed him.

  251. 251
    Fwies with that says:

    Why didn’t you ignore your careers advisor at school when he suggested burglary?

  252. 252
    YokshireLad says:

    Rules out everybody!

  253. 253
    Vi Agra says:

    What does endogenous growth theory really mean?

  254. 254
    d of the Flies9 The Tyranical Rule of Children) says:

    Is the very public support given to you by Bevanite Ellie an embarasment to you ?Lor

  255. 255
    Lord of the Flies" The Tyranical Rule of Children) says:

    and is this keyboard fucking shite !

  256. 256
    Asil Nadir says:

    do the buggers get you down too ? or is it right side up ?

  257. 257
    a la Maison Testicuole : a tender moment brought to you in HD colour 'n that says:

    Blinky Darling, – are you ready dearest?

    Dearest Darling, I’m ready.

    Sweetest, dearest darling . . how manly you look!

    Dearest sweatest darling you bring out the man in me, – a man who is ready for the greatest challenge this nation has ever faced.

    Blinky dearest dearest darling, my object of undying love and tenderest devotion, . .

    [we have to end this broadcast here because of retching noises by the sound crew]

  258. 258
    All get Prizes in the Fools Paradise says:

    Now that everyone gets A+ grades they are issuing a New A grade pass to be known as the Continuity A + Pass

  259. 259
    All get Prizes in the Fools Paradise says:

    Can you think of a better example of Hubris in modern times than Gordon Brown ?

  260. 260
    Buggy says:

    have you got a thyroid problem?

  261. 261
    All get Prizes in the Fools Paradise says:

    Do you know what a “Potemkin Economy ” is ?

  262. 262
    Wide eyed n legless says:

    Will you be ok selling the big issue.

  263. 263
    Fascist Hippy says:

    Question: Would you mind standing up?
    I can’t get a very clear view of you through this telescopic lens whilst you are sitting down.

  264. 264
    Question For Blinky says:

    Blinky, why is it Sloth in The Goonies is better looking than you?

  265. 265
    A Bifter says:

    Just set a load of tyres on fire as an offering to the God of smoking and to offend the greens

  266. 266
    And it came to pass says:
  267. 267
    Mongsworth says:

    Why is Steve Richards such a twat ?

  268. 268
    Arse policy says:

    “Do you dress Yvette up as Wee Jimmy Krankie, and bum him?”

  269. 269
    Tapestry says:

    …..that economic growth is based on technological advance, and not the efforts of entrepreneurs. It thereby becomes acceptable to smash businesses with high taxes and regulation as the growth is inevitable based on a surge of new technology. It removes the human input from the equation, and enables a mechanistic view of social advance.

    That’s why we have record unemployment now, and record debts. People stop investing longterm if they cannot run their businesses as they see fit due to regulation, and if big effort spent in work does not produce any reward, people instead get involved in racing after price bubbles borrowing money.

  270. 270
  271. 271
    Hugh Janus says:

    Does being a prize, gold-plated, five-star Hoon come naturally, or do you have to work at it?

  272. 272
    Selohesra says:


  273. 273
    Prodicus says:

    …in the spring of 1999, when Gordon Brown was dumping 415 tons of the UK’s gold onto the market (purportedly to bail-out the massive “short” position held by none-other than Goldman Sachs…

  274. 274
    lizzie says:

    Just as a matter of interest . How were you going to fund the £multi billion Schools for the Future Programme when you knew that you and gordon had already dug us into the biggest financial hole the Uk had seen since WW1?

  275. 275
    lizzie says:

    Labour folk are much of a muchness aren’t they? damian, whelan, aintbustingagut, gordon, balls, prezza, foulkes ….

  276. 276
    ellie swellhard says:

    He’d better not, the fucking bitch, that was our little number.

  277. 277
  278. 278
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    SKKREEEERRKK!!! (flap) (thud) (flap) (thud) MINDBLEACH!!! (kk-tweetle)

  279. 279
    A Gayer. says:

    What does Gordon’s brown eye taste like?

  280. 280
    grobdj says:

    Have you ever done a proper job?

  281. 281
    Anonymous says:

    Ther’ll be free drink at the do.

    Guido will be lying in a pool of his own piss somewhere.

  282. 282
    Monster says:

    Evil Satanic war criminal, Tony Blair, has set up a bank to launder money for the global kleptocracy. Behind the scenes there will be hook-nosed Nazi bastards (like Mark Labovitch), making sure no tax is paid, and war profits bring in a massive return for the thieves in corporations and parliaments around the globe.

  283. 283
    Ed says:

    Brown…I quite like Green too.

  284. 284
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Thank you Mr non-Prius. My other car is not one either!

  285. 285
    Monster says:

    And – did you know Blair (widely thought to be a je-w because of the terrible crimes against humanity he has committed with no remorse) spends one week each month in occupied Jeru–salem, with foa-ming-at-the mouth child-kil–ling hook-nosed Naz-is.

  286. 286
    world emperor says:

    You little people have never had it so good.

  287. 287
    concrete pump says:

    Michael Owen.

  288. 288
    Anonymous says:

    The picture of Balls Blinking with his mouth open is funny!!!!

    Has Ed Balls seen the picture where he is sucking a black mans cock or eating a kitten which has been photoshopped?!!!!! I think they are funny!!!!

  289. 289
    petec68 says:

    Ask Ed if he can still remember all the words to Deutschland Uber Alles and whether his Nazi unform still fits him, or has the missus let it out a bit seeing as he has such a fat gut from all the food bought at our expense.

    She probably likes being backscuttled by her bit on the side while he hides in the wardrobe in his little uniform and has a pedal and crank listening to them both, the minx!

  290. 290
    Labour Party says:

    We want you to hate each other.

  291. 291
    Terry Leahy destroyed Britain, the fucker says:

    Bonio is an arrogant poseur and pseud. Smoggie – you are not wrong. The little bastard would rather keep his millions in a tax haven than dig into it to help the Africans. Do as I say, not as I do.

  292. 292
    Pickled Wizard says:

    Bono is a turd

  293. 293
    petuniabean says:

    Would ask him if he thinks he really has the balls to be leader of the Labour Party.

  294. 294
    Terry Leahy destroyed Britain, the fucker says:

    The Prius. An Al Gore-style con manufactured by dog eaters and dolphin slaughterers. At least the fat, stupid, hypocritical prick has gone the same way as Cyclops.

  295. 295
    Lord Ashcroft says:

    Will you be the new Conservative Party Treasurer ?

  296. 296
    albacore says:

    Please, please, Mr Balls, can you say something gratuitously insulting to the nation, like Mr Cameron does?
    I’ve got your diary deadline coming up and that thing doesn’t write itself.

  297. 297
    concrete pump says:


  298. 298
    Gordon Brown says:

    He owes me!

    I taught him everything he knows!

    So my question is … how will he repay me?

  299. 299
    Cynic says:

    Just where in America did it happen?

  300. 300
    Cynic says:

    Are you supporting Yvette for Shadow Chancellor?

  301. 301
    Dance of the seven viles says:

    Fuck me! nell’s got yet another new moniker.

  302. 302
    Blinky says:

    But I am standing up! I’m standing on a box.

  303. 303
    Rosie Winterhoon says:

    Prescott – nah, only kidding!

  304. 304
    Blast from the Past says:

    Cecil Parkinson appears to be morphing into Douglas Hurd only without the glasses.

  305. 305
    Polly Pecker says:

    Where’s my comment gone?

  306. 306
    In cider says:

    Do you really care where your plebian comment went? Thought not.
    The spotty interns are running the show tonight.

  307. 307
    Anonymous says:

    So come on then who are the footballers ….. someone out there must know.

  308. 308
    concrete pump says:

    You are Jeremy Clarkson and i claim my tin of Girling.

  309. 309
    Another Anonymous says:

    Who gives a fuck, apart from retards like you.
    A ruling political elite shit in your face, and you’re worried about some overpaid chav’s lovelife.

  310. 310
    concrete pump says:


  311. 311
    The Morris Marina a nasty log laid by British Leyland says:

    “Ed Balls, do you Vaseline up your arse before Yvette sticks the strap on in, or do you like it hard and dry?”

  312. 312
    Expat says:

    Who killed Kelly

  313. 313
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    “Running the country your way, Mr Balls, has brought it to the brink of financial catastrophe. Clearly, it needs to be done very differently indeed. What are the three major changes you would make to Labour policy that would set us on the road to recovery? And why didn’t you make them when you were in power?”

  314. 314
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    “Given your party’s appalling record of failure, why should anyone listen to a thing you say?”

  315. 315
    Comment is expensive says:

    Can I be 300dth?

  316. 316
    Yudhisthira says:

    The living, because the dead are no more.

  317. 317
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    “As the Education Secretary who presided over plummeting results, how will you make it up to the children who are left illiterate and innumerate after suffering under Labour policies?”

  318. 318
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:


  319. 319
    Fred the Shred ( knighted by Gordon Brown ) says:

    Do you agree that giving me a knighthood for services to banking was ‘the right thing to do’ ?

  320. 320
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    Tax the rich and the big corporations. Simples.

    (Mr Balls is a simpleton and probably believes this would work.)

  321. 321
    Michael Mates says:

    Asil Nadir is a straight sort of guy, much as i am.

  322. 322
    Wee Willie Hague says:

    Appen I’m getting an erection.

  323. 323
    Mr Ed Knackers MP says:

    Nobody does listen to a thing I, or my comrades, say. That’s why we ruled this country for thirteen years.

  324. 324
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    Cooeee !!

  325. 325
    Grumpy Larry is a Boring Cunt says:

    Hello Bambi. How’s it hanging?

  326. 326
    Dave "Heir to Blair" Cameron says:

    Right back at ya!

  327. 327
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    he does fuck all for his irish compatriots either,as soon as the artists tax exemption was lifted he buggered off to holland,still,he means well with our money
    Geldof at liveaid asked the people for their f*****ng money,that twat 20 years or so later asked the governments for their peoples money.there is a difference.

  328. 328
    Ed Balls says:

    How can you call that an umpire?

  329. 329
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    Ooooh no, I think not. I’m much wealthier and have lots of blood on my hands.

  330. 330
    Dave "Heir to Blair" Cameron says:

    I don’t think so.

  331. 331
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Oh its got to be be D please bob ive never heard of the first three

  332. 332
    White Van Man says:

    errrrrrr… no, should of cut your fucking head off with that sword.

  333. 333
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Every person bar one I have the misfortune to meet selling that shite in birmingham are imported povertarians so that route to an income has been thwarted by Labours immigration policy
    He is a bit old to be a rent-a-bum-boy too,its lookin bleak,he could try coalmining

  334. 334
    Susie says:

    And does he prefer wearing Mac or Nars kajal?

  335. 335
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Get a bigger box shortarse

  336. 336
    Susie says:

    No good… he’d just say “Borrow another £5 trillion”.

  337. 337
    White Van Man says:

  338. 338
    the return of sleaze - Cameron for sale £50,000 says:

    Broken promises

    So much for all those promises that the Tories would be different, after the damage done by Labour’s love affair with mega-rich party donors.

    Remember how David Cameron urged, time and again, that there should be a limit of £50,000 on individual donations?

    How does that sit with this week’s revelation that, two days before the election that brought him to power, his party accepted ten times as much from abrasive h e dge fu nd boss Jon Wood?

    Indeed, in just three months this year, the Tories pocketed no fewer than 15 donations above their proposed limit – the biggest from David Rowland, the former tax exile who resigned as party treasurer last week amid intense scrutiny of his career as a financier.

    Meanwhile, questions are also being asked about the precise tax status of Mr Wood, who only last month declared his state of residence to Companies House as ‘Switzerland’.

  339. 339
    That much is clear says:

    Asil Nadir has come back to Britain to die.That much is clear

  340. 340
    £50k to meet the Prime Minister: Tories embroiled in fresh cash-for-access row says:

    Cash-for-access: David Cameron

    David Cameron is offering rich businessmen the chance to dine with him – if they donate £50,000 a year to the Conservative Party.

    They can enjoy exclusive lunches after Prime Minister’s Questions in the Commons, or meet him at drinks receptions and campaign launches.

    It comes just months after Mr Cameron, while in opposition, made a major speech in which he attacked the murky world of ‘secret corporate lobbying’

  341. 341
    That much is clear says:

    He should have gone to Libya.

  342. 342
    Dave "Heir to Blair" Cameron says:

    We’re all in it together, as long as you’ve got 50k for a private meeting where we can bend over to accomodate your needs.

  343. 343
    Stand up fellow Tories and give that outgoing man a standing ovation says:

    Cameron is worth more than Blair can ever be, and as for blood on his hands, who backed his disasterous illegal wars?

  344. 344
    Tony Blair ex-PM says:

    ‘Who do you love more? Me or the Blackberry?’

  345. 345
    Sky News exclusive says:

    He only returned because Kay Burley invited him to join the mile high club.
    Who could resist an offer like that?

  346. 346
    Tony Blair ex-PM says:

    TB Are you fucking stupid?

    EB I have never had sexual relations with stupid.

  347. 347
    Tony Blair ex-PM says:

    Dave loves me.

  348. 348
    Susie says:

    Should be, he’s been selling the big tissue of lies for years.

  349. 349
    Susie says:

    Bought Euros with it at their highest price.

  350. 350
    Miguel Portaloo says:

    ‘secret corporate lobbying’. This is corporate fascism (going on throughout the western world).

    Ed Ballsup can go suck his ****, and join his mate Brownstain for a long stretch in the Tower.

    On a more important point, alarm bells are going off in the markets. Hope everyone’s prepared for inflation/ hyper-inflation. Deflationists like Roger Bootle in the DT are WRONG predicting 0% interest rates for 5 years. The endgame is approaching. Gov’t bonds will collapse soon, sending shockwaves through everyones lives.

  351. 351
    Mr Sploot says:

    Ed, did Gordon ever drench himself in fizzy orange during cabinet meetings and go splooot-splooot up Mandy’s bot-bot?

  352. 352
    Anonymous says:

    I think that seeing that it is splashed across media outlets everywhere that this can barely be called secret corporate lobbying!

  353. 353
    albacore says:

    I’m a lobbyist. I do all right
    I pamper porkers and spin them shite

    They’re shameless skunks. They’d flog their grans
    For a hooky nine-bob note
    Poncin’ around those members
    Makes me feel a proper scrote

  354. 354
    Gray Tunwashed says:

    Brown should be double-dipped – like they used to do with witches.

  355. 355
  356. 356
    "Saint" Vince Cable says:

    for goodness sake Dave! When will you do something about the EU? Such as give us the referendum you promised on the Lisbon Treaty.

  357. 357
    Albi Here says:

    Cast iron Dave + referendum ,does not compute,so please return to your cupboard until Our Dave requires you to vote for him again.

  358. 358
    Lovely Mental Picture says:

    Does Yvette take it up the arse?

  359. 359
    I am Sick says:

    Labours founding fathers were socialists, with a soft spot for Russian communism. They would have not given a shit about bankrupting Britain either.

  360. 360
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I will mostly be a banana.

  361. 361
    I am Sick says:

    Forget the deficit, it’s the DEBT that is the real problem. To tackle that, will require real courage and real pain. Tinkering with current spending while the debt monster grows, is not a solution to anything.

  362. 362
    dental works says:

    Sorry? but the question should be who lied to get everyone to get them to support it ? oh and i don’t give a crap how much someone is worth !i nay affect me that the likes pressnot and sugar have cash, it don’t make a loaf of bread any cheaper down the shop !.

  363. 363
    Queenie of buck house says:

    Don’t look at me, I only gave the royal assent.

  364. 364
    Vincie Incapable says:

    We need even more immigrants. It’s good for businesses you know.

    Just not so good for social cohesion, law and order, hospital waiting lists, housing, schools, transport and utilities infrastructure, the environment or the long term survival of Britain as a nation.

  365. 365
    watchout says:

    Spin it anyway you like but Labour locked up a lot of potential terrorists that the conservatives are going to let out.

  366. 366
    Sorted says:

    if you have a rat problem let an immigrant sleep in your garden for a week.

  367. 367
    MP druglords says:

    Oh look a cheap hotel fit for the “honourable”members

  368. 368
    A lot to answer for says:

    Islam – Brought to British shores by the greed of businessmen and the scheming of politicians.

  369. 369
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    When are you going to pull the flush and disappear you slimy turd?


  370. 370
    Labour Liz says:

    Dear Ed

    Q-Exactly how much sausage can you fit up your arse?

  371. 371
    InVincable says:

    We’re working on it. Plenty of young foreigners will revive the economy. Not sure what we do with all the English students with AAA* grades, though.

  372. 372
    David Minibanana says:

    Excellent !

  373. 373
    Raving Loon says:

    Why are you such a c,unt?

  374. 374
    Liblabcon la la land says:

    Plenty of young foreigners will revive the economy.

    Yeah, of course they will.

    …all the English students with AAA* grades

    No good party tribalists moaning about exam inflation. Your parties created it in the first place.

  375. 375
    FarmerGiles says:

    Whats the most important thing you learnt from GB?

  376. 376
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Ho Ho ….Sausage time!!!!

  377. 377
    Postal Vote says:

    Do you need another constituency in which you’re less dependent on postal vote shenanigans?

    PS Shame I did not get on this thread earlier, might be too late for the session this morning …

  378. 378
    InVincable says:

    I take that as you agree with the stupendous exam inflation rates in England? I’m very sorry for hardworking students…

  379. 379
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin says:

    From the genius who abolished Boom and Bust, the brilliance of ‘light touch regulation’………..

  380. 380
    Half Immigrant says:

    For consistency, can you should rant about Brits emigrating? Being a hypocrite is not a good look.

  381. 381
    Anonymous says:

    Ask him why he thinks all the teachers in the UK hate him so fucking much.

  382. 382
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Not Clarkson myself, Mr pump. Just moniker’s quantum superposition feline. But you may have been referring to TLdBtf.

  383. 383
    Dick Tator says:

    Pennsyltucky ain’t the greatest of anything. It does have some great white-water rafting in the west end, though.

  384. 384
    SarumSea says:

    Q – what happened to the nice lady and her anti bullying charity after she tolds all those terrible fibs about kind Mr Brown? Perhaps Chis Mullins knows.

  385. 385
    concrete pump says:

    Are you waiting for 400 comments before you change the thread, Guido?

  386. 386
    Chutney Muttley says:

    Can Ed and chums do a Brokeback Mountain Christmas Panto?

  387. 387
    ratarsed says:

    Guido has a hang over

  388. 388
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Or 371?

  389. 389
    InVincable says:

    It helps if you can write english. Tally ho!

  390. 390
    I use the red flag as toilet paper says:

    You mean ex semen

  391. 391
    concrete pump says:

    Possibly not.

  392. 392
    I use the red flag as toilet paper says:

    Do you read all the lovely comments about you, yvette and Gordon on Guido’s site and if so do they inspire you to further madness like Gordon

  393. 393
    concrete pump says:

    Too much French red. French wine really is overpriced, over hyped shit.

  394. 394
    concrete pump says:

    It’s still shit.

  395. 395
    Lovely Mental Picture says:

    Does Yvette take YOU up the arse?

  396. 396
    Fellow pedant says:

    English has a capital ‘E’.

  397. 397
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Why not 378 then?

  398. 398
    Gonk says:

    One of the following:
    Doctor, Bank manager, Optician, Financial advisor
    or shopping for the latest fashions.

  399. 399
    concrete pump says:

    I still reckon 400, le chat de Schrodinger.

  400. 400
    InVincable says:

    Yes. Well spotted! But ‘can you should rant’ is much worse than ignoring ‘E’!

  401. 401
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Theres an old wives tale (or old school boys tale) that sucking a lemon in front of a brass band will put them off and make them play duff notes.

    I’d suggest that. If nothing else Balls will be thinking “what the hell is he up to?”

  402. 402
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Getting there slowly but, of course I am Austrian, so I would say Verschränkung. None of this froggy bollox for me! Société Française indeed. Magnétoscope, one of their useless words for VCR. Ha ha ha!

  403. 403
    concrete pump says:

    Been there, ski-ed that, Obergurgl, very nice.

  404. 404
    Gonk says:

    Tum te tum te tum te tum te tum te tum

    Tum te tum te tum tum

  405. 405
    ratarsed says:

    Come on Guido a new post or I’m going to have to post something that will send you into a deleting frenzy

  406. 406
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    you made me look. £65-£80 isn’t astonishing, just OK.

  407. 407
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Its thursday and the ale is less than 50p a unit.

  408. 408
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    tum te tum te tum te tum tum tee diddleee dee.

  409. 409
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    I have driven there, not in the snow though, on my way to Bolzano just over the border. Tyrol is lovely, summer or winter. I am actually 60km north of Salzburg, but presently in Manchester, or at least my putative owner is.

  410. 410
    Schrödinger's cat says:


  411. 411
    concrete pump says:

    Let’s have a funny clip, eh.

  412. 412
    Wheatchief says:

    Sorry I’m late. I took a wrong turn and ended up in the channel tunnel.

  413. 413
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Where is that?

  414. 414
    Eeikalogmay says:

    wikileaks publishes operation ore list naming top UK politicians

  415. 415
    Gordon Brown says:

    Can I have my fizzy lemonade now?

  416. 416
    concrete pump says:

    Your previous moniker before CRMM, wasn’t ‘Nike’ was it?

  417. 417
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Trouble is, the teachers would probably hate anyone. Even Margaret Thatcher did not manage to reform them.

  418. 418
    Anonymous says:

    Ed Balls. A man trying desperately to hang on to what’s left of his failing career and party.

    Hope he falls from a great height.

  419. 419
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    No sir. Before this year, I used to post under a number of different monikers, appropriate to each subject that I addressed. Then I went away for a while and by the time I got back, I could not recall them and could not be arsed to look them up (must have been a good holiday!). So I became CRMM, created upon the spur of the moment. Amazed that it upset so many people, so figured I must have been doing something right!

  420. 420
    400? says:

    is this 400?

  421. 421
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Probably not, if he’s going to see Balls. I was thinking he might still be in his holiday place.

  422. 422
    concrete pump says:

    (fiddle, twitch) Yawn…….

  423. 423
    Snide kraks says:

    ha ha .bet that woke a few up.

  424. 424
    concrete pump says:

    Hazaar – Guido, change the fucking thread.

  425. 425
    Simon cowell says:

    don’t call me.

  426. 426
    Big Boy Bambi says:

    Much like your knuckles, still dragging the ground.

  427. 427
    404 Error says:

    404 error This page has not been found

  428. 428
    Gordon Brown says:


  429. 429
    Mr Plum says:

    Is it always this dull friday mornings

  430. 430
    Cornwort says:

    LOL thanks for that Anonynous

  431. 431
    407 error says:

    Proxy authentication required/Do not buy a peugeot.

  432. 432
    Anonymous says:

    InVincable = idiot

  433. 433
    Dolly the Creep says:

    Blinky – did you find that the only way to get Brown to take his medication was to put a pill on the end of your knob?

  434. 434
    John H says:

    Serious question (with potentially serious implications for everyone in the UK) …

    ‘Is it true that after the first ballot you’ll forge a Granita Style deal with David Milliband, with you playing your Brown, to his Blair on a joint ticket?

  435. 435
    All three Bee Gees says:

    Or, even better ‘Why are you so unpopular?’

  436. 436
    All three Bee Gees says:


  437. 437
    All three Bee Gees says:


  438. 438
    All three Bee Gees says:

    I bet that joke has never been done before, ever.

  439. 439
    Tapestry says:

    a malicious streak?

    as well, I mean..

  440. 440
    Alexsandr says:

    See how he gots on with this

  441. 441
    captain morgan says:

    or just Wh?

  442. 442

    Does your wife have a cock ?

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers