August 26th, 2010


As the new parliamentary term and Gordon’s book launch approaches, Guido is hearing whispers as to his future plans. Given he has managed to turn up to work just twice since the election, it’s good news that the people of Kirkcaldy – might actually get the representation they deserve.

Apparently Gordon is taking soundings about standing in the Shadow Cabinet elections, specifically seeking the role of Shadow International Development Secretary. It would be a first if he actually won a contested party election… Andrew Mitchell must be quaking in his boots. Not.


  1. 1
    Selohesra says:

    Is Kirkaldy in need of International Development?


    • 2
      The Great British Public says:

      We don’t give a fuck what the loser does as long as he doesn’t bother us anymore


      • 28
        TonkaTom says:

        As far as I know none of the candidates in Labour’s leadership contest is certifiably insane so Gordon can go whistle.


        • 29
          silly season says:

          exactly right
          it’s never going to happen

          he’ll probably step down sometime after the scottish and local elections


          • jgm2 says:

            He’ll not step down until he gets a job paying more than being MP for Kirkcaldy. Which he won’t get sorting bags of dead people’s clothes at Oxfam in Cowdenbeath.


          • A job Mr Goodwin ? Why thank you. says:

            He’ll get a job as a banker wanker like Blair did.
            All the most detestable scum do that.


          • Tony Blair's new 'bank' for super-rich says:

            TONY Blair has formed his own finance boutique in London to offer investment services to global funds and the super-rich.
            His Mayfair-based company has recruited senior financiers and has been authorised by the Financial Services Authority. It will effectively be a fledgling investment bank.

            News of the former British prime minister’s diversification into finance will help to explain how he can afford to give away the estimated 5 million pounds proceeds of his memoirs, A Journey, to the Royal British Legion. His predecessors in Downing Street have relied on their books to provide for their retirement.

            Since leaving office in 2007, Blair has amassed a fortune estimated to be in excess of 20 million pounds. He has combined his role as a roving statesman with charitable work and paid advisory roles.



          • Bankers rock, all the best and smartest people are in Finance, I doubt Brown would make the grade!

            As for all you banker bashers, go get a job , ur scum! If your really desperate I will give u a tenner to clean my Masaratti!


          • jgm2 says:

            Brown won’t get a job with a bank after the way he turned on them when the wheels came off his reign of idiocy.

            Do you not remember the televised show-trials with jackass Labour MPs asking bank CEOs what banking qualifications they had?

            He’ll be lucky to get a job as a teacher.


          • You must have been asleep when Dave and George happily joined in attacking Bankers and their Bonuses. And they set up a new tax on them even though most of their best friends are Bankers.
            If Bankers give warcriminal scum like Blair a job for doing nothing they’ll give anyone job.


          • Marchamont says:

            Give us a tenner and I’ll teach you how to spell “Maserati”.


        • 51
          oldrightie says:

          A geek waving a banana whilst dressed in his school suit is not insane?


    • 3

      Only if administered by bulldozer…


      • 15
        Albert Hall says:

        Who gives a s*** about Kirkaldy? They’ve got the MP they deserve. They voted for him so they can bloody keep him. I begrudge him his pay though.


        • 18
          650 thieving parasites says:

          only him ?


          • Albert Hall says:

            Well, now you mention it, not just him but we are talking about Brown tho. You can add all the ex cabinet without exception. That’s before they stand in front of the dock awaiting due process of law after being found guilty of treason and receiving the only sentence applicable, that was before Bliar made treason a non capital offence. But I’m fantasising.


        • 23
          Tankus says:

          exactly ….In fact, most of the biggest public sector and benefit cuts should be made in Kirkaldy , in return for them repetitively electing the mental shit to parliament


        • 44
          new right says:

          maybe Kirkcaldy could be given independence. A wall built around its margins with passport control facilities etc. brown could run the show, of course, but all of them could just sink into the mire where they belong


          • Gordon Brown's Admirer says:

            They’d be dancing in the streets of Raith that night!


          • 50 Calibre says:

            Maybe Cameron will be bright enough to give Scotland independence and turn Westminster into the English Parliament that it once was and badly needs to be again.

            England is still the only country of any standing on this planet without its own Parliament…


          • Big Tony says:

            You forget that it’s already called the “Kingdom of Fife” and an independent territory. Brown is the King. It’s a bit like Monaco – in reverse however.


          • Blue Lady says:

            At least the post he has apparently applied for covers the whole of the UK and not just England. Brown and his fellow Scottish MPs have and continue to meddle in English only affairs because unlike the rest of the UK we have been denied our own Parliament/Assembly. I absolutely detest the hypocrisy of these Scottish MPs voting for tuition fees in England (maj of 4 after 59 Scottish MPs voted for it) which they would not countenance for their own constituents. It is about time this injustice stopped and all Scottish MPs should be in the Scottish Parliament except for matters which affect the whole UK.


    • 25
      Jib jab says:

      Why the fuck would he do that? Is he fucking trying to be Alec Fucking Douglas-Home after his premiership?

      He needs a damn good rogering from behind.


    • 46
      Oh dear. says:

      What became of the voluntary charity work? Yet another example of mispeaking?


    • 82
      Mr Ned says:

      Oh please let him get a senior position in the shadow cabinet. He would cause so much disruption and spread fear, loathing, poison and bile that labour would be incapacitated from the inside. He would amplify their dysfunction by an order of magnitude.


    • 87
      Big ben cries out SOS says:

      Have we not all endured enough of this fucking inept Hunt????!!!!! He shouldn’t be allowed with 50 miles of Westminster…or the City


    • 128
      Ming the Merciless says:

      Kirkcaldy is in need of many things, and Gory isn’t one of them !!!

      The NWO Shill, “Paw Broon”, would (from his own point of view) make a great Shadow International Development Secretary, then he could be on the All Party Parliamentary Group for World Government. Maybe “Gordoom” could be the natural successor to old Gavin “Strange” who was kicked off the chairmanship just before he failed to even defend his seat at the last General election.


    • 154
      Anonymous says:

      Joy. An amusing sentance, many thanks.


  2. 4
    theo says:

    Its in need of a decent MP!


    • 129
      Ming the Merciless says:

      Kirkcaldy hasn’t had a decent MP since the Linoleum & Coal Mining businesses in the area went belly up, during the “Thatcher Years” when Broon was living it high on the hog with his snotty pals in the Edinburgh Fabian Scene.


  3. 5
    Jon Cruddas: David Miliband is like Tony Blair at his best says:

    Jon Cruddas today backs David Miliband to be Labour leader – saying he has all the best bits of Tony Blair.


  4. 6
    I use the red flag as toilet paper says:

    Why doesn’t he just fuck off to Jockland and never return to England. Even more detested than Blair (just), and all the other Labour troughers who are now property millionaires instead of being in prison.


  5. 7
    Wheatchief says:

    god sounds almost as disgusting as the original brown aid coca cola.oops not an advertiser are they.


  6. 12
    David Laws says:

    hee hee hee
    you can’t find me


  7. 13
    I use the red flag as toilet paper says:

    The fat greedy demented one eyed mongrel from Jockland wants even more subsidy from the taxpayers. Lazy bastard should try and get a job in Kirkaldy and actually pay some tax (not employed by the state).


    • 21
      concrete pump says:

      The c*nt should work the next three months for free. The lazy bone idle bastard. (As i post this from work, not actually working).


      • 45
        RP says:

        Why do you need to go to work,your IT guy must be shit if he can’t set up a remote connection for you.


  8. 16
    Lord Ashcroft says:

    I like the cut of this Asil Nadir chaps jib. Could he be the new party treasurer?


    • 53
      Lola says:

      Ashcroft and Nadir may have avoided tax, which isn’t illegal. Which set against Brown and New Labour’s utter destruction of the UK economy and the associated massive destruction in general wealth, is a miniscule problem, even if it is one, which it isn’t.


      • 78
        Lord Archole says:

        I think you’ll find Mr Nadir did venture into the illegal or he’s going to be in for a nasty shock when he arrives.


    • 54
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      What, again ?


  9. 17
    bergen says:

    I’m trying to imagine him at the shadow cabinet’s table-just like Banquo’s ghost.That’ll put a dampner on things.

    Guido is right-he’s bonkers!


    • 24
      silly season says:

      and so would Miliband be if he even considered it
      never going to happen


      • 61
        Must get a pseudonym one day says:

        Millipede doesn’t get the absolute choice. The Labour Party selects a list of folk from whom the leader picks his shadow cabinet. Maybe Gordo should get all the shadow posts, just to drive him and them finally over the edge.


        • 94
          drphilyerboots says:

          But the new labour leader gets to decide who gets which job, if elected Gordon won’t nessecarily get what he wants.

          It might be fun to have Gordon as Shadowminister for Scotland, which would wind up and piss off that smug toad, Salmond.


          • New Labour, New Sophists, same old shit says:

            Oh I really dont think so Brown Fears Salmond, as Salmond is more than a match for him. Brown hid from Salmond most of the time he was PM.


          • drphilyerboots says:

            All the more reason to make him shadow Scotland!


  10. 19
    Baroness Thatcher says:

    Oh great. So this clown now thinks he can just carry on pissing our money away, except now it’ll be pissed away in other countries.

    Still, having Gordon in the shadow cabinet will keep him in the public eye, ensuring that Labour remain unelectable.

    Silver linings, and all that.


  11. 20
    Maximus says:

    He must imagine he can find some way to Brussells to twiddle the strings on his preferred puppet the useless Baroness Ashton. (FFS don’t look her up on Wikipedia until there’s a new picture, you’ll just be sick over your keyboard).


  12. 22
    Sir William Waad says:

    Shadow International Development Secretary = SIDS = Sudden Infant Death Syndrome


  13. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Daily Mail: England is most over-populated country in EU

    Thanks Labour. Thanks Business class. How can we ever repay you.


  14. 27
    Toilet Papers says:

    This would be the last thing any party would desire. Even this discredited Labour fiasco cannot have any connection with this allegedly deranged wank-fest if it wants to be even considered as an opposition party.


  15. 31
    jgm2 says:

    Shadow International Development Secretary = Free flights to Africa where he can idiot about the place giving the impression it is his money (and not ours) that he’s pissing about in an attempt to buy himself Ban Ki Moon’s job.

    Way-hey-hay. Look at me mum. President of the whole world. In his fucked up head. Suck on that Blair. Suck on that public school boys.

    This is exactly the same as Blair giving up our EU rebate just for a ‘promise’ from the French that they’d consider his CV for the European President’s job when it came up.

    Billions and billions squandered as a bribe for a job he was never going to get. Just like Brown.


    • 68
      Maximus says:

      Quite right jgm2 – UN probably a better bet than my suggestion of the EU. The Great Scotch McBustard would then be following in the footsteps of the glorious three-term former Labour Leader and PM of New Zealand, one Helen Clark, who, no sooner kicked out of office on 8 November 2008, went straight into a plum job at the UN on 17 April 2009, as Administrator of the United Nations Development Programme, reputedly the third highest position at the UN. That would fit with the McBustard ethos of irresponsibly pissing huge amounts of other peoples’ money on trotskyite programs such as Agenda 21, Citizen 2000, IPCC, other pan-national socialist ‘justice’ scams. I doubt they have a vacancy for a Manifest Imbecile though – Clark at least won her elections, having negotiated her way into a winning position, neither of which can be said of McFuckwit.


  16. 32
    Gonk says:

    Brown ought to take a sabbatical
    working in a sweet shop. He’d learn complex
    economic theory and normal human interaction.
    (Can I have 4 black Jacks please- certainly that’ll
    be a penny, thanks for coming, good bye)
    It would be the making of him.


  17. 34
    Southern Softy says:

    On the other hand – he would be in good company.
    Clare Short
    Valerie Amos
    Hilary Benn
    Wee Dougie Alexander
    A long list of utter uselessness.


    • 135
      Ming the Merciless says:

      Hilary Benn – what an utter embarrasment to his father


      • 144
        Unsworth says:

        And to everyone else. Nice chap, apparently, but totally bleeding useless. Still, the acorn never falls far from the tree.


  18. 35
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    How are Labour going to move on from being the biggest disaster in British politics since…. the previous Labour government if The Great Denialist is still in a powerful position in the Fuckwit Party? Still, look on the bright side. If Gordo does stand for a shadow cabinet position, on past performance Miliband D will immediately withdraw from the Leadership contest leaving the door open for those even more useless and delusionary than he.

    Get in the popcorn guys, this one could run longer than “The Mousetrap”.


  19. 42
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    I’ve just remembered. In the Labour party, doesn’t one’s shadow post depend on the number of votes garnered?


  20. 47
    whispering ass says:

    Gordon Brown in the Shadow Cabinet makes about as much sense as David Cameron accepting a donation from Asil Nadir right now.


  21. 48
    new right says:

    Quite frankly, don’t give a fuck about Brown. I would never give him a job. I would prefer it if he just killed himself , thereby removing his presence from ours.


  22. 50
    Spoggie says:

    no one gives a fuck about Brown except obsessives and losers


  23. 56
    Diddy Dave Miliband says:

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


  24. 58
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Just section the Hunt !


  25. 59
    Engineer says:

    So what’s happened to all these prestigious international posts he was supposed to be in the running for? IMF Chairman, United Nations this, EU that, £100,000 a throw lecture tours….has he turned them all down to contest a post in the shadow cabinet?


    • 66
      Backwoodsman says:

      He’s damaged goods – (Apart from all the obvious defects). He’s obviously not had too many returned calls. For plan B, see my post 39.


  26. 69
    Yardarm says:

    You serious, Guido ?

    This is Gordon’ ego the size of a solar system ‘ Brown who felt the Chancellorship wasn`t big enough for him, who raged for ten years at being Blair`s understrapper and now you reckon he`s after this understrapper`s job in a shadow Cabinet headed by one of the Milibands, God`s Own Original understrappers ?

    He the Intellectual Colossus Gordon, whose economic genius saved the world, Statesman Gordon, powerful enough to persue a fleeing Barack Obama through a hotel kitchen. He would never stoop to lobbying for a job not worth a pitcher of warm piss. He`s been so humiliated by his defeat he`s spent the months since the election hiding in his downstairs bog in the manse up in Kirkcaldy.

    To even think about taking this job he`d have to be a complete madman out of any touch with reality……………………………

    I take it back, Guido: it`s all too plausible.


  27. 70
    Yardarm says:

    Christ, Gordon Brown having the slightest involvement in international development ?

    Pakistan and Haiti would be just the outriders of his chariot. The Ten Plagues of Egypt would be as a picnic compared to what would be visited on the world.
    Volcanoes would erupt, vast swathes of Africa laid waste, continents devastated as Jonah casts his shadow over the planet once more.

    Poor ? Starving ? Homeless ? Live in the Third World ? Be afraid, be very afraid.


  28. 72
    Gordon Brown's Admirer says:

    Food goes in here.

    (Homer Simpson was younger when he worked that out. Jus’ sayin’)


  29. 77
    Taxfodder says:

    Excellent Idea

    I hear there is a job going as CEO with the rural communities executive in Afghanistan. The job calls for excellent communication skills fluent in Pashto or as desperate, an enthusiastic babbling idiot would be considered.


    • 79
      G Brown says:

      Och, I applied but was turned down I was too big a Target, maybe my old boss TonyB he has experience I believe.


    • 81
      lizzie says:

      I don’t think gordon would do.

      According to Andrew Rawnsley (End of the Party), Gordon’s last words to the troops when he visited them for the very last time ‘ Enjoy the summer lads’ !

      You couldn’t put gordon anywhere where he had to empathise with real people. Even Madame Tussaud’s wouldn’t have him.


      • 85
        Turnip Taliban says:

        So why aren’t they home yet warmonger ?
        You seriously think they’re enjoying the summer now Camerons keeping them there dear ?


        • 105
          stilyagi_air_corps says:

          Why not drop over to ARRSE’s NAAFI Bar and ask them, instead of stalking posters with elderly female name’s and blaming them for Labour’s war?

          You fucking freak.


        • 145
          Unsworth says:

          So you’d propose that Cameron on day one should have ordered immediate withdrawal from Afghanstan? Yep, that’s real strategic thinking. How was your HCSC at Shrivenham?


  30. 80
    lizzie says:

    Shadow International Development Secretary Hmm?

    So he gets his MP salary of £64k pa plus expenses for a job he can’t be bothered to do. He’s already said he’s going to be doing worldwide lectures at £64k a time and Sarah has indicated she is prepared to tag along and present prizes and things for a further £13k a time.

    And now he wants a shadow role as well which boosts his MP’s salary up to £124k a time.

    What happened to their widely reported statement that if he lost no.10 they would be doing voluntary work?!


  31. 84
    Turnip Taliban says:

    He lied.

    Like Cameron lied about haing a Lisbon Referendum.


    • 93
      I use the red flag as toilet paper says:

      It was the fookin labour swine who promised a referendum in their manifesto and shitehouse Brown who slid away signing up to it when nobody was there the cowardly bastard.


  32. 86
    Gordon Brown says:

    This is a ridiculous story. Why would I stand for a position in the conservative shadow cabinet when I’m prime minister?


  33. 89
    Pete says:

    I was watching my dog licking its arsehole this morning & he looked just like Bruin.


  34. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Wait to see who Gordon backs publicly for Liebore leader, what would their chances be, I wonder,


  35. 91
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    This is all nonsense. Brown is going to publish his book, get some sinecure and stand down from Parliament when the general election is called in 2012.


  36. 92
    Ed Milimetre says:

    It will be torture for the government if David Miliband becomes the next Labour leader.


  37. 95
    John from Hull says:

    would he get to hang out with Bono? Cool!!!


  38. 100
    I hate New Labour says:

    No he won’t.

    A man with his ego will never accept a lesser role.

    Take it the same pinch of salt as his ‘do something worthwhile, like charity’ quote.


  39. 101
    Cynic says:

    Great ….. this would leave the new leader limping around like Marley’s Ghost dragging the dead weight of Gordon behind him ….sounds good to me


    • 103
      New Labour, New Sophists, same old shit says:

      I really hope this comes to pass .”A future entertainment for all “


  40. 104
    nun says:

    The people of Kirkcaldy are the ones who landed us all with the hoon. Since when did they “deserve” anything?


  41. 106
    Gordon Brown false EYE EYE says:

    Give the Twatt a brush, its all he is good for.


  42. 107
    Anonymous says:

    “Brown and out in London and Paris”


  43. 112
    He saved the World but now he can f*c* off says:

    The last thing any new leader of the Labour Party,trying to distance themselves from the last disastrous 13 years, (presided over or affected by you know who)is the voters being continually reminded of Gordon Brown by having him become a member of the shadow Cabinet. In any event Brown is unlikely to play second fiddle to anyone of the leadership candidates. No much better to get Brown appointed to some overseas university as Emeritus Professor of Global Economics Strategy(??) or preferably they could offer his services to the Australian Labour Party ??


  44. 113
    p45 says:

    Someone told him his favourite group The Artic Monkeys (although he cannot name one of their songs ) are a Mental Group, so being Mental Himself has asked is he suitably qualified to handle the finacial side of the business.


    • 118
      Treason Thinly Carillon says:

      Reminds me of the guy who is a White Sox fan and could not name any of their players despite them winning the World Series for the first time in ages a few years previous and he being from the city of the team that he supports.


  45. 114
    Marian says:

    This news tells us that Gordon Brown couldn’t find anyone in the real world who was willing to employ him so he has had to turn back to his old trade of being a career politician instead.


  46. 117
    Jess The Dog says:

    I reckon he will stand as a MSP and Scottish Labour leader quite soon..Labour are in with a good chance at Holyrood.


    • 139
      Ming the Merciless says:

      Ian grey will fight him in Tranent High Street at 2pm on Saturday, for the Scottish Labour Leadership. Grey’s choice of weapons – “lumps of opencast coal at twenty paces”.


  47. 122
    Bevanshite Smellie says:

    If you put that c’unt in charge of manure farming he’d find a way of turning it into an even bigger pile of shite.


  48. 124
    Cassandrina says:

    Hopefully a little old independent lady from Birmingham will put the boot in as she knows about the job and also how useless he is. Merkel could endorse it.


    • 138
      Ming the Merciless says:

      Merkel always reminds me of the character “Colonel Rosa Klebb” in the James Bond film “From Russia With Love”. I bet she has a knife hidden in her shoe also!


  49. 125











  50. 126
  51. 127
  52. 131
    Rev. Cuntwatcher says:

    if the labour party were to entertain the idea of the chingrinner being in the shadow cabinet they really have lost the plot completely…they’re preciously close already in seeking to elect the future leader…it would be difficult to find a more lacklustre bunch of misfits/twats if they tried…putting brown back in the frame is yet another sign of a keen desire to implode.


  53. 136
    Ming the Merciless says:

    Another job for the ex PM:

    Gordoom Broon for British Ambassador to Iraq


  54. 137
    Ming the Merciless says:

    Anyway the Cyclops will be taking up his new job at the IMF soon, or was it at the new Green Bank of George Soros ( I dreamed of being a World Dictator long before “Son of Gauleiter” even was born ).


  55. 146
    Geoff M says:

    Andrew Mitchell is also a 1970s-style student-union left-wing “radical”.
    He and Brown should be in the same party.
    Oops they are – the LIBLABCON.


  56. 147
    Gordon "Prime Minister" Brown says:

    Sod it. Shadow Prime Minister, or nothing and the back benches. Or Prime Minister of Scotland. Has a nice ring to it, just as long as “Prime Minister” is in the job title somewhere. And not “unelected” which those nasty Tories kept spray painting on to my office door a few months back.


  57. 149

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