August 14th, 2010

Death by Spin

Eric Pickles is busy explaining the practical business reasons why the Audit Commission is being killed off. Undoubtedly the organisation had, under New Labour, long ago moved on from being austere bean counters to doing politicallycorrect box ticking exercises, costing unnecessary millions. That is when they weren’t treating themselves to massages or a day at the races at our expense…

Guido suspects that the decisive moment when the fate of the Audit Commission was sealed was before the election when it became public that £56,000 had been paid to spin-merchants Connect Public Affairs to advise them on how to save their overpaid jobs. Connect recommended an expensive

“strong local lobbying response in order to mitigate and combat the activities of Eric Pickles”

Suicide by spin…

Looking down Connect’s list of mainly public sector and trade union clients it provides a handy guide to organisations that are clearly finding it difficult to justify themselves on their own merits, so instead they throw thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money at spin merchants to do it for them. Quite a few more targets on that list merit defunding by the taxpayer…


  1. 1
    booboo kittyfuck says:

    Oops, wrong blog.


    • 25
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      Yes. No tits on this page …..


      • 28
        Gone Fuckin mental says:

        I thought this was the Sun website ?


        • 58
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          You can’t give massively-dependent people something and then take it away! (Fuck, I am sounding like the old lot!!!!)


          • (Not) Flash Gordon says:

            AC never gave me any trouble.


          • Fatfuck Pickes Master of Spin says:

            This one’s going to come back and bite Pickes on his fat arse.

            Exactly the wrong time to rip it all up and try some mad private sector solution since he’s going to be relying on them so much.

            Eric hasn’t heard about all the PFI and private sector computer fuckups.

            He should have sacked the board, slashed costs and then set a leaner more hungry Audit Commission on the public sector with a final warning.

            Instead he’s going to have to try and micromanage the entire structure for years relying on untested private companies who can safely ignore Pickles and do whatever they like once they have their contracts.

            It’ll begin to unravel soon enough.

            Eric’s vanity will always be his undoing and he felt slighted by them.


          • Engineer says:

            The Audit Commission has very clearly forgotten what it’s there to do, and as rogue bureacracies tend to do, came to believe that it is more important than government itself, and has a divine right to exist. When it gets that bad, about the only thing to do is chop it and start again. That’s tough on the decent footsloggers in the rank and file, but if they are good at their jobs, the replacement outfit(s) will need their expertise – in the long run, they may even be better off as a result. The villians of the piece are the mandarins heading up the Audit Commission. They are supposed to act impartially, but clearly nailed their political colours to the mast. Not very wise, or very politically astute.

            Chopping it might also send a warning shot across the bows of other “politically active” civil service departments. If so, good.


          • Fatfuck Pickles Master of Spin says:

            But they aren’t merely chopping it up and starting again.
            Now it’s something completely different.
            It’s no longer a publicly accountable body but a series of private contracts in the manner of PFI which were an enormously costly Blairite wheeze. Blair and Brown loved PFI and PPP because the costs were off balance sheet accounting and they didn’t give a monkeys about what happened after that. Eric will have to. He owns this now.

            The A.C.s board of corpulent greedy fat cats did not negate everything it did nor does all the after the fact self justifying spin about a workforce of many thousands being partisan. But generalising and stereotypes are a crutch to some, so they will write the entire workforce off without a clue as to how the private contracts will work in practice.

            Whatever Pickles Spins now the Conservatives did rely on it for most of it’s history and now they have something completely different that will command the respect of no-one unless it can prove itself.

            Those who don’t realise why having the fattest man in the country slashing thousands of jobs by email was a hilarious blunder will also never grasp that ideology can only be pushed so far.
            The NHS is ringfenced for a reason.
            Turning the Audit Commission into the personal ideological plaything of someone like Pickles, who is certainly no stranger to incompetence, is a disaster waiting to happen.


          • Engineer says:

            Anybody using phrases like “the fattest man in the country” somewhat destroys any credibility their arguments might have had.

            The Audit Commission grossly exceeded it’s remit, so the decision has been made to disband it. Auditing services are available from the private sector, and no doubt many of the AC’s rank and file will end up there. No doubt the over-political civil servants at the upper reaches will be financially compensated (unfortunately).

            It’s happened. Get over it.


          • Fatfuck Pickes Master of Spin says:

            You think Pickles is the thin do you ? Or does the word FAT offend your & Cameron’s politically correct sensibilities ?
            Anyone who doesn’t realise Pickles is enormously fat has ZERO credibililty. The FATFUCK in my title escaped your eagle yet humourless eye did it ?

            And any man who latches onto obvious humour and whines as if it had any relevance to the overall argument has…
            a/ no sense of humour and is
            b/ shouting to the world that they have no coherent argument or response when they have to dive into such laughably obvious trivial minutia

            Never mind Engineer, we expect no depth or wit from the likes of you. You are second only to nell in mindless cheerleading of anything Cameron does.

            Had Pickes advanced the idea that the Audit Commission be replced by 10,000 pies you would argue that the merits of that were clear too.

            Dull predictable cheerleading is par for the course here and from you.

            Your problem is the supposedly partisan body has thousands of experienced staff very few of which will be picked up by the private sector in a recession. It was also set up by the Conservatives and nobody here is arguing that it shouldn’t be reformed but what takes it’s place.

            It’s going to be spectacular and costly fuck up just like PFI.
            And Pickles is just the man to crash and burn with it.
            Deal with that.


          • The New Privatised Corruption Commission says:

            Pickles says he’s going to allow the 11,000 councils and other public bodies to appoint their own private auditors.

            Can anyone else spot the obvious problem with this picture that seems to have escaped the fuckwits ?

            Here’s a clue, it happened elsewhere not long ago and the phrase “AAA credit rating.”


      • 29
        hoops says:

        Until you showed up of course.


        • 226
          Angry and Despondent says:

          Fatf**k Pickles Master of Spin, I see you are a typical Labour supporter twisting the facts to suit your argument. Pickles wasn’t the one who sent the e-mail to Audit Commission employees telling them their jobs were going – it was A.C. bosses themselves who did that in a cynical effort to get media headlines. But, hey, why let the truth get in the way of a good socialist rant?


    • 40
      Anonymous says:

      Presumably closure of the Audit Commission will not nullify its few precious gems of wisdom:

      Unfortunatey this link no longer seems to be working.

      “It is true that using consultants does present potential for conflict of interest.”



      • 56
        Anonymous says:

        I see Tesco is on Connect’s client list


      • 66
        Anonymous says:

        This link above is available within Connect’s site.
        Some very interesting names….

        including Transatlantic nuclear.

        Winston, there’s someone knocking at the doo…..


        • 77
          Jack says:


          The All Party Horticulture and Gardening Group FFS (among hundreds of other quangos etc)

          These people have been pissing billions of quid up the wall regardless of the fact that it is our (borrowed) money..complete madness…

          Is there NO ACCOUNTABILITY in the UK now ?


          • Obumberclart says:

            and we were all blaming benefit scroungers,They have nothing on these troffing bastards.


          • Scrap QUANGOs, EUSSR Law, AlJaBeeba, - and 13 years of Noo_Lie_Bore waste, bullshit & PC Bollocks says:

            FFS just do it!


      • 70
        Noise says:

        The Audit Commission were screwed from the offset of the coalition, they’ed committed too many deadly sins.

        a) mostly Labour
        b) plain and fragfrant wastes of funds on frivolous staff perks like Blackpool pleasure beach, in work massages, live jazz bands etc
        c) they hired a PR company (founded by a labour MP no less) to perform some PR research and strategy into how to survive and get support for the commission in a coalition government (even calling it an anti-Pickles campaign!). As I understand it, it is not permitted for a quango to hire PR to lobby against government, the commission tried to get out of this by saying it wasn’t PR – just run of the mill “research and strategy” development.


        • 78
          Bob says:

          Don’t forget the £ 75,000 sculpture !


        • 193
          Long Howl of Despair says:

          (even calling it an anti-Pickles campaign!)
          When the Tories got in and Eric was given the big axe the moan there must have been like angels when evil enters a cathedral.


        • 232
          Anonymous says:

          I’ve worked for the audit commission for 21 years as an auditor on a modest wage. I have never had (or been offered) a massage, been entertained by a jazz band, received a day out at the seaside or anywhere else. I work long hours in pokey audit rooms usually in basements or portakabins. This is all spin. The research report commissioned by former chief exec Bundred was an idiotic thing to do but pickles has now had his revenge by ruining my life and that of many others and their families, whilst Bundred has already moved on to another lucrative job.


          • Anonymous says:

            But there’s the problem, 232! And it is always thus! YOU were one of the workers, out in the basement or in a portacabin doing the work. Whilst a magic circle of do nothings got the massages, the trips to the pleasure beach, the jazz bands, etc., etc., etc.

            There was a long standing joke: “Who audits the Audit Commission?” The answer was “nobody!” The answer now is: “Nobody… until now!”

            I feel sad for people like you, but it is always the real workers who carry the can. Not the idle slackers at HQ.


          • Anonymous says:

            232, those that do the work never get any of the gravy.


  2. 2
    bus user says:

    kill them, kill them all then burn their stinking evil carcasses. Make it so.


    • 55
      Dick the Prick says:

      Word up, folks. August, lovely month.

      I’ll give you the inside scoop about the Audit Commission from the cliff edge. I had our Town Clerk saying xxx is only gonna be as it’s gonna be! The mother fucker took a little bit of a league table shit, waved in my face and said ‘this borough is fucking wank’. Not happy.

      I’m not dissing the people but the organization was ridiculous. Can’t change the definition of ‘audit’ overnight and not expect anyone to notice.


    • 241
      Anonymous says:

      Oooh, Captain Picard! You are so brutal!


  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Absolutely delighted that this bunch of disgusting, troughing, New Labour luvvies are going. Made my weekend. More please Pickles….


  4. 4
    Stephen W says:

    Snip, snip. A few more organisations ripe for the chop. It’s like I always say, look after the tens of millions (of pounds) and the billions will look after themselves.


    • 10
      something else says:

      When are they gonna make a start on that stinking, pinko commie rats nest at the BBC?


      • 54
        The Ape Man Commeth says:

        I used to think that labour and in particular that chanca(lor) broon and later fake PM broon along with a certain badgerman as puppet-chancellor had made a mess of the country’s finances until, that is, I heard two scotish men, one being the said puppet-chancellor, discussing them in the most amicable way this morning on the BBC’s today program. After what seemed like a long series of friendly questions it transpired that every thing was good in the bailout of Scottish banks etc, as we are actually going to make a profit from it. But alas both men agreed, or at least one claimed it and the other didn’t demure, that the Conservative party are about to ruin the country’s economy.

        Ergo: it is the Tories that wrecked the economy.


        • 207
          Anonymous says:

          “it is the Tories that wrecked the economy”

          That’s what tories do. True, the traitor NuLab scum had a go at the same sort of thing but it’s really a tory thing.


  5. 5
    M H says:

    Maybe he’s getting rid of it so they can’t report on the effects the coalition’s cuts are having.


    • 16
      Dorian Smith says:

      and your solution to Labour’s massive debt is? New Labour had lined up £50billion of cuts apparently, do you approve of them? Is the problem to you that Labour would do ‘fluffy’ cuts, while the coalition, left to clear up the mess by your beloved Labour do ‘nasty’ cuts? Tell us what cuts would you make, cuts to solve the Labour induced problem?

      Are you seriously saying your ideal result at the last election was to return Gordon Brown as PM, the man who sold gold on the cheap, who instigated the 10p tax debacle, who led a party that widened the gap between rich and poor, who saved the world and fucked over the UK?


    • 17
      Wheatchief says:

      or the evidence of previous history will go with it.


  6. 6

    I must admit Mr Pickles is the only Tory providing the satisfaction at the moment.

    I do wish he would have his teeth steam-cleaned though.


    • 36
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      Agree, Sir Trev. Despite the all pervasive lookism from dullard homunculi, that tend to populate the media, he has produced. I do sympathise with him as I frequently face problems from those who hold that cats cannot think. I ignore them, of course, as does he.


    • 194
      comedy eric and his amazing expanding body says:

      is he sitting on your face to make you say that ?


  7. 7
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Its one bigponzi scheme i tell ya


  8. 8
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    tax is theft !


  9. 9
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    ““strong local lobbying response in order to mitigate and combat the activities of Eric Pickles”

    Now who said “Workers of the world unite” ?

    Unions are so last centry


  10. 11
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Genuine Question , How many spin doctors have been employed by the coalition goverment ?


  11. 14
    Wheatchief says:

    thousands of pounds of pounds
    too many words of words


  12. 15
    Genghiz the Kahn says:

    Looks as if there are some Hunts on the way out of Notwork Fail, if the story in the FT is anything to go by.

    A very thorough review is needed of major appointments in Quangos, particularly those which have been lobbying for changes in laws, or making political donations.

    For the coalition’s next task clearing out the Augean Stables in Wood Lane, W12 7RJ should move up nearer the top.


  13. 18
    pete-s says:

    No entity fully supported by the taxpayer, should be allowed to spend taxpayer money on lobbying.


  14. 20
    David Cameron says:

    Hi folks , Today i can unviel our new policy .

    After reading the comments on The website Order Order i can confirm that we will change our policy on a referendum on AV and instead have a referendum on the funding of the BBC . The changes offere will be thus :

    1 ; Carry on funding the same way

    2 : Subscription

    I hope this will please and command respect among all those who voted for us and those who didnt .


  15. 23
    Penfold says:

    Ahhhh schadenfreude, don’t ya jus luv it….

    The bonfire gets another victim.

    As Guido says we should look to the clients of these PR/spin mechanics, investigate their need for spending, and then cut orff the tap and ensure that a few heads roll.
    The public sector should not have a need to spend a penny piece with spinners.


  16. 24
    Trev says:

    It shows the mammoth task we are faced with in cutting waste.


  17. 27
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    The New Labour approch to spending and responsabilty was simple : Minster takes up post creates ” independent body to deliver there “targets” and whenevr anything goes wrong blame the Independent body and throw more money at it and say lessons have been learnt but there is no need to resign .


  18. 30
    Honest citizen says:

    Universities and local authorities using spin merchants ?

    Can’t they do their own jobs then ?

    They already have press officdeers FFS

    What do they do ?

    There are fooking billions of obvious cuts to be made

    Send in an army of axmen, I say

    Crush the Labour placemen and sack them


  19. 31
    Deb says:

    I had noticed over the last year of the incompetents that the Brown Broadcasting Corp. were reporting the activities of the Audit Commission as more and more proLabour. Hoist by their own petard?


  20. 32
    Nick2 says:

    Agreed. In Pickles’ own words

    ‘Rather than being a watchdog that champions taxpayers’ interests, it has become the creature of the Whitehall state’

    As far as Connect’s list of (worthless) public sector clients are concerned, the list on their website is of (some) ‘past and current clients’. The current list is here (pdf).

    Looks like they’re only ‘servicing’ private sectors organisations atm.


    • 39
      Nick2 says:

      Whoops! Looked at wrong page. Connect’s page (21 of 79) is almost totally filled with names of parasitic public sector organisations!


  21. 35
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Winner of 2nd semi final will win the final , Thou good start by Essex , Could be dark horses


  22. 37
    Bryony Gordon says:

    This is terribly, terribly embarrassing…


  23. 41
    Martin Day says:

    He should stop the bonus’ being paid to the fucking pig thugs, this is why they arrest anyone they come into contact with like the woman with the nectar card, they are all bonus grabbing fucking bastards.
    There was a gay pride thing in Liverpool last week and there were nearly as many pig thugs as there were gays,I bet they got a double bonus for that, i suppose it meant a day off from shagging each others wives, husbands, boyfriends,girlfriends, each other, I wouldn’t piss on a pig if it was on fire.


  24. 46
    Jack says:

    The new Audit body should be used to audit the accounts of the Labour Party and Unite trade union also…

    They must be full of misappropriation as well…


    • 156
      Thatcherite says:

      Can they also audit the EU Budget as well?


    • 167
      Mike Hunt says:

      And the Union Modernisation Fund, how much went to the Liebore party?


    • 211
      Anonymous says:

      and the government of Belize


      • 227
        Elvis says:

        I temped at the audit commission for nearly 3 years (on and off) and was horrified at the poor quality of some of the audits, the over-acceptance of local authority figures, the reluctance to challange incorrect accounting procedures and the deliberate delay of an audit report so as not to embarrass the client who had cocked up big style. On the other hand, when dealing with smaller clients, the Ac were pompous , overbearing and not interested in any dialogue. They deserve this, certainly at more senior levels.


        • 231
          Anonymous says:

          …. well, that explains why they didn’t keep you on. … you were obviously a crap auditor if that’s the quality of the work you delivered. How is the burger flipping industry these days?


  25. 47
    βεℓℓα says:

    Shit hot party of rioting and firebombing tonight in Derry


    • 68
      Sir Minge Campbells says:

      Please take up arms against each other on an urgent if not immediate basis.
      Reject the good friday lies and give us entertainment by shooting and bombing each other again.


      • 79
        There'll be a gnashing of teeth says:

        Anyone see the duplicitous twats McGuiness and Adams last night.

        Referring to the new terrorists actions they said, ‘no point in trying to bomb and shoot your way to the negotiating table, it doesn’t work and the people of Northern Ireland won’t wear it!’

        It fucking worked for them!!


        • 81
          Sir Minge Campbells says:

          Ah yes the national hero Mr Blair.

          He gave the IRA scum a peace deal when they were already defeated, and started a war against a sovereign nation which posed no threat to us, for his political vanity and earnings prospects in the barbarian nation of america.

          Someone should pop a cap in his ass, so to speak


        • 134
          Some fucking hope says:

          what they are really saying is a message to the young and upcoming guns in the IRA,a hope against hope that they will heed it.


  26. 51
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Eat your cereals, dear.


    • 116
      streamfisher says:

      You must be an I’ams cat.


      • 152
        Schrödinger's cat says:

        @streamfisher (descended into Hades, where I have to join you in order to respond.) Yes, quite right, I am an IAMS cat. Institute of Atomic and Molecular Sciences, Taipei. World Class.


        • 166
          ¥иɐʍ○я says:

          fawkes set number comment count has been reached,all posts go to hell now.


        • 178
          streamfisher says:

          My cats called Lazarus x9.


          • Porky Pickles and his Bumbling Buffoonery says:


          • The Knock says:

            say what you like about Eric but there’s no denying what he has done is a major milestone in open politics. never mind armchair auditors,this used like Holmes could lead to many prosecutions,hence the Labour fear of it.


          • Porkbusters says:

            Pickles owning up to his expenses piggery was hardly a milestone in open politics.
            Very, VERY funny yes, but just one in a series of hundreds by the Piggy MPs from all the Parties who infest this Parliament like vermin.


  27. 53
    Chinaman he says:

    In my country we execute corrupt officials


    • 61
      Ranger says:

      Damn right too

      Could have saved us £ 1 trillion quid…


      Congratulations on proving to the whole world that capitalism works spectacularly well when allowed to function…


  28. 59
    Sir Minge Campbells says:

    Detaching these public sector parasites from the NeoFascist Labour party’s state spending instruments will have an economic effect, in that many of them will be completely unsuited for life in the private sector where of course results, delivery, and ultimately profits are paramount.

    In my considered opinion I believe the only way of ensuring they do not become long term unemployed scum would be to melt them down for seat boots, and other forms of waterproof maritime apparel.


  29. 69
    Ed Balls says:

    We never raised any taxes !


  30. 75
  31. 76
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    Worth looking through the Connect Public Affairs list of previous triumphs – in particular the work they did for ACPO. So here we have a Home Office funded private company (ACPO is not subject to FOI, clever, eh?) receiving Government money to spend on a campaign to increase the funding settlement for police forces. Oh, and ACPO also maintains 80 flats in central London, mostly empty, costing £1.6M a year. Of our money.


  32. 80
    Anonymous says:

    please could we disolve the “regional” development authorities next?


  33. 82
    Unite member says:

    Support the Labour HQ strikers

    Sack Mad Hattie..


    • 90
      Elf and Safety Officer says:

      If they can’t even run their own Labour HQ wiithout a rebellion

      How do they dare to pontificate about the country ?


  34. 83
    Mr Politically Incorrect says:

    For once, Pickles has done good.


  35. 85
    Captain Jean-Luc Picard says:

    Set phasers to stun. Then strip them, then hang them. That tends to sort them out.


  36. 87
    Gordon, the 3rd worst Prime Minister EVER says:

    Look you imbeciles. This all started in America. Its the right thing to do. Its what the public wants. Blah blah blah blah


    • 93
      Mervyn King says:

      I’m really looking forward to your book on the world banking crisis Gordon, my fucking desk is on the piss.


  37. 89
    Jonty Pryor says:

    So if Philip Green (Emperor of UK retail) is now working for the Government, will he pay his full taxes in the UK? (People shouldn’t be shocked to learn that his wife apparently owns the business from….Monaco….tax haven to the stars) Another example of the Tory version of ‘We are all in this together’ not quite applying to their rich mates.


  38. 91
    Right of Attilla says:

    Glad to see the back of these parasites. They charged my council £76,000 to audit our pension fund despite the fact that it is already audited by real accountants and the financial team is first rate. I challenged their rep to help me explain to my voters why they were charging so much for a job already done – my ‘challenge’ was welcomed in the way that one says ‘with the greatest respect’ but we did get a discount!


    • 132
      Anonymous says:

      But apparently not the explanation you asked for.


    • 229
      Anonymous says:

      Moron. Your pension accounts will in future be audited by a private firm at considerably more expense and risk. The same private firms that audited PollyPeck, WorldCom, Lehman Brothers, Northern Rock, Mirror Group, BCCI etc etc etc


  39. 92
    Audit Commie says:

    We always got a happy ending with our massages.


  40. 95
    Don't you dare make fun of Labour or Gordie! says:

    Leave Labour alone! I wuv them!


  41. 98
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    Guido Fawkes felt this could be politically motivated.The audit commission which we have had in some form since 1844, discovered the scandal of Westminister Council and the infamous Dame Shirley Porter affair.In the end the stripping back of all the tiers of Government/quangos/commitees will inevitabley lead to less democracy, less transparency, less checks and balances and power to the Executive which was shown to have failed in the Parliamentary expenses scandal.


    • 106
      Dame Shirey says:

      Revenge is a dish best served with a hefty dollop of Pickles darling!


    • 113
      Alex says:

      You have no idea of what democracy means

      It means freedom for the people

      Not layers of unaccountable quangos and jobs for your boys Mrtin


      • 143
        200℃ says:

        Democracy inevitably leads to what we now have,oligarchy.Its a simple process to work out.The only cure for it is,and only temporally is anarchy. Anarchy removes the dross and scum from the system.Makes certain everyone who wants to survive joins the struggle.Why waste time ConDemming our way to the inevitable.


      • 185
        radical says:

        common law and nothing else.


    • 142
      Peter Grimes says:

      Pickles said, when GuruMurthy let him get a word in edgeways, that the District Auditor uncovered Dame Shirley’s little plan, not the Audit Commission. I would tend to believe him.

      I guess that the BBC, like CH4, employs piss-poor researchers, Martin, and you might well be one of them.


    • 216
      Anon says:

      No it didn’t. It was the District Auditor. Not the same thing at all. And what Dame Shirley did was as nothing to what scumbag Labour Councils have been doing for decades and getting away with. As I recall the District Auditor concerned was a LibDem or Labour supporter. The whole thing was politically motivated.


    • 239
      Anonymous says:

      No, Martin, it didn’t. Try again.


  42. 99
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    I like pickles


  43. 101
    Welsh says:

    Come on Guido.

    Time to get stuck in to Gaffer Cameron & his army of amazing expenditure cutters.

    If all you are going to do is bang on about the shortcomings of the previous administration and act as a PR front man for professional Yorkshireman Eric Pickles then readers like me will quickly desert.


    • 105
      Ed Balls says:



      • 145
        Abandon Ship says:

        your wit says your tits so page 3 is your plate.The real effort to put the government to task will be done on other blogs now.


    • 123
      Just stating the bleeding obvious for those who still haven't got the message says:

      I suggest you bugger off to LabourHome or whatever with all the other “Deficit Deniers”


  44. 102
    Michael Gove says:

    What do you do if Ed Balls throws a pin at you?

    Run like fuck because the grenade’s in his mouth!


  45. 103
    Ed Balls says:

    Hi, my name is Ed Balls and soon I’ll be leader of David Miliband’s Labour party!!


  46. 104
  47. 107
    Gordon Hand says:

    “British Agencies for Adoption and Fostering (BAAF)”

    “Rent a young arse and kiddy snuff movie stars incorporated” more like.


  48. 109
    streamfisher says:

    Oh the irony, an audit commission that spends taxpayers money with largess while pointing the finger at others, pot and kettle personified, now how about the BBC? (Guido cross-hairs needed).


  49. 111
    BBC spokesman says:

    We can confirm that our new Politcal editor will be Alistar Campball , He will carry on the excellent and neutral work carried out by Nick Robinson


    • 127
      Postscript says:

      During the Labour Leadership contest the BBC(as they did during and after the 2010 Election Campaign) is proud to support Labour and announce to viewers that they will act as the “Official Opposition” in opposing the “Coalition’s” cuts and warning of the risks to the recovery of a “double dip recession” until such time as they can relinquish the role back to the new Labour leadership.

      The BBC making tomorrow’s news…to-day !!!


    • 151
      Compromising Positions,or a crust says:

      Once,long ago in the days before paying advertisers the blog site broke the stories that mattered.Now those that would be the news pay the blog via the adverts.


  50. 112
    cant hunter says:

    When is Suzy Leather ( there’s a local ‘escort’ girl trading under that name) going to get her P45; she is the grande horizontale of Nu Labour tokenism.


    • 144
      Peter Grimes says:

      Well she is never going to insist on full disclosure of the funding sources of fake charities like ippr, so Pickles might as well get rid of her as soon as the sacking terms for these parasites are reduced – preferably to nil!


    • 173
      Strap on for Suzi says:

      Charity Commission is Flat Eric’s job too? Mmmm I look forward to that one. The post requires someone who’s concept of charity extends further than their choice of name.


  51. 115
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    thug season starts today


  52. 117
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ll make a statement on this to the House tomorrow afternoon. First I will consult with my cabinet of egg soldiers.


  53. 118
    Mr Politically Incorrect says:

    Guido, when are we gonna get a tasty new Brown story? It’s time for a juicy McBride-sized scandal about McDoom. Maybe timed to coincide with the Labour conference. That’ll be fun.


  54. 121
    Charlie Kennedy says:

    I’m joining Labour.


  55. 124
    Gordon Brown says:

    Next week I will be visiting President Obama in Washington, followed by a summit of world leaders in Paris where I will be making the keynote speech about the global banking crisis.


  56. 133
    BBC News says:

    Tory Cuts…..Eton toffs….bankers greedy greedy….Lord Ashcroft…..Tory job cuts…..starving babies….Tories……milk….Thatcher……Tory sleaze……Cameron millionaire…….racism….homophobia….right-wing…….Hitler……documentary….glorious miners strike……climate change….Lord Ashcroft…….

    Over to the wet Tory weather..


    • 153
      the old Dufflebag says:

      blair…iraq..campbell..mandelson..brown…whelan…prezza…gold…10p tax rate…squillions wasted…economy fucked…bloated public sector…enlarged poverty gap…lord paul et al…hypocricy…no money left…13 years of blight on the country…

      over to labour’s normal waether… showers with dismal outlook very few sunny periods


    • 175
      streamfisher says:

      They do seem to have an obsession with the word Thatcher, nerry a wrong word spoken about Lenin, Stalin and Pol Pot.


  57. 135
    englisheccentric says:

    Payback for Westminster Council.


  58. 147
    Desert Rat says:

    “Quite a few more targets on that list merit defunding by the taxpayer…|

    I think a more succinct and appropriate approach, may be to napalm all the parasitic leftist bastards.


  59. 148
    the old Dufflebag says:

    The audit commission had become just another extension of the previous government’s spin operation and will not be surprised it was only costing 50m a year


  60. 155
    Seth the pig farmer says:

    Another one bites the dust.

    Thank you Eric.

    Time to make all public money FOIable. That way the expenditure of public funds by private bodies is subject to full and proper scrutiny.


  61. 160
    Anarcho-Capitalist says:

    Can Pickles set up a Government Axing Brigade ?

    With volunteers to look thru the books of all these gangsters

    And prosecute (persecute) offenders ?

    Power to the People….

    It time fot the Long Evening….


    • 161
      Freedom Party says:

      We can start in Regents Park, Primrose Hill, Connaught Square..South Jockland…

      Any other ideas ?


  62. 162
    albacore says:

    The BBC reported of Pickles: “Asked about job losses, he said: “In terms of people working for the Audit Commission, almost certainly we are looking for them to be able to continue in another form.””
    In other words, fat redundancy payments on Friday night and back to work on Monday morning.
    Very reminiscent of when the Equality & Human Rights Commission was spawned out of its equally fatuous predecessors. In that case, the auditors actually queried some curious goings-on but, so far as I can tell, nobody took the slightest notice.
    “The Government Equalities Office, which is now the Government department responsible for sponsoring the Commission, recognised that the Commission’s re-engagement of staff from the former Commission for Racial Equality was novel and contentious, and would therefore need Treasury authority. The Office did not formally consult the Treasury on this matter until January 2009, when the Commission provided the Office with full and accurate information. In doing so, the Office advised that it could not endorse the retrospective business case presented by the Commission. Once consulted, the Treasury concluded that it could not grant retrospective approval for the payments, as they did not represent value for money.”
    (The above is an extract from the Commission’s accounts for the period from 18 April 2006 to 31 March 2008, a marvellous read).


    • 180
      Labourlike Tory Party says:

      Out of the ASH the Phoenix of OUR new LIFE rises


    • 200
      anonymous says:

      160 I agree many of the staff will just be moved sideways into other / new jobs – it’s happening in many of the quangos already – very few people losing jobs and very many arguing to keep their current renumeration….. all in all a very incestuous hotchpotch of public service wheeler dealing


  63. 163
    Tell Us Eric says:

    So if we are all the armchair auditors what do we do with our results? Is Eric going to start a post them here website that Plod have to follow up on.?


  64. 164
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    If you’re fed up now wait a while until it is revealed what it costs to get rid of these time serving arses.

    Of one thing we can all be sure, they will, like all good laxatives, have carefully considered the exit upon entry. Most of them will probably be able to retire on what is shovelled their way.

    The shit will, of course, be shovelled our way.


  65. 165
    ¥иɐʍ○я says:

    Smart Pikey


  66. 168
    Labour says:

    Why we did it is simple. We are the party of employment,lots of people were employed doing this.


  67. 172
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m coming out! No longer will I keep up this sham!


  68. 179
    Anonymous says:

    Their function is to be outsourced to the private sector.

    Cos they is cheaper. Big accountancy firms is known for how cheap they is.

    And they knows that if they is to get any more jobs from the Government they better say the right things, know what I means?

    I wish I was middle class like Dave.


  69. 182
    Anonymous says:

    boring wank


  70. 188
    Ratsniffer says:

    I like Pickles – he’s a down to earth Tory who can smell bullshit a mile off. But I wish he’d turn his attention to things that people really get pissed off local authorities obsession with switching to once a fortnight bin collections – almost universally hated except among single, sandal wearing vegetarian lib dems.

    I’m getting fed up of hearing how “we have to do it, it’s european law” when in fact as we all know council’s are doing it to screw more money out of us to pay for their obscene pension funds.

    We pay a fortune in council taxes, the least we can expect is that these troughers empty our fucking bins every stinking week and that we don’t have to have slop bins full of vermin-attracting, maggot ridden, rotting food.


    • 219
      You can get elected on the simplest of manifestos says:

      Stand for councilor next week and state you will have the bins emptied once a week,and also collect free of charge items to large for bins, that’s the shit most people have to fly tip.old settees etc.


  71. 196
    SamCam, wham bam! thank you mam! says:

    I loves a bit of minge me. I’m coming out soon!
    That will teach Dave and Nick for shagging each other senseless while I’m about.


  72. 198
    Simple Solution To get Rid Of Troffers says:

    It has come to my attention you have misappropriated funds,ie a massage.Would you like to resign or shall I refer the matter to the police.


  73. 201
    That's News says:

    A suicide note was found in the pocket of Mr Audit Commission.

    In part it read “strong local lobbying response in order to mitigate and combat the activities of Eric Pickles”

    The coroner returned a verdict of “death by stupidity.”


  74. 210
    Sandra says:

    I sent a letter to the Audit Commission last week reporting what I thought was naughty behaviour at my District council. I got a letter saying the complaint was being forwarded to the district council’s local auditor. Seems they knew their fate then


  75. 222
    kempton says:

    It has been announced that the Audit Commission is being scrapped, much to the consternation of BBC/Guardian types over prospective “job losses”.

    However, it turns out that this will not happen until 2013, and that the Audit Commission will be “floated off” — down the plughole, one assumes — and will bob up again to pollute the water supply in some other globulation.

    If the government is serious about scrapping these useless quangos, they should be closed down immediately, and the staff paid off with the minimum compensation required. Tax cuts for real working people can then follow.


  76. 225
    SecretSquirrel says:

    I worked for them for a fortnight on secondment.

    I thought that a lot of good work was being done below the boardroom level, but I was quite surprised that they had boxes of Audit Commission branded chocolate bars to give away to staff on Fridays.


    • 236
      Anonymous says:

      Are you referring to the toblerone bars with stickers on? Some bright sparks attempt to illustrate the importance of workforce planning to deal with the peaks and troughs in the workload. A bit silly, but hardly indicative of a “bloated” quango. Perhaps we should have sent a few bars to Pickles….together with a sausage sandwich or two.


  77. 235
    Anonymous says:

    According to Michael O’Higgins interview on Channel 4 news yesterday, Eric Pickles statement about the Commissions publication of expenditure over £500 was “factually incorrect”. The information was ready for publication but was apparently delayed at the request of Pickles own department.

    So, he is not just fat and ugly, he is also a liar (allegedly).


  78. 243

    I just hope they put something into police the issues the audit commission dealt with apart from consultants to help save their jobs


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